175: Pie Detector

Have you got echo cancellation on or off? Um Oh, it says the best quality wear headphones and turn off this setting. That must be just if you're not using headphones, so Yeah, you should be alright. Let's give it a go and pray. Pray. Sorry. I'm in a hundred meetings a day where that's all right, let's pray. Yeah. Like that's so I was about to go alright. Sorry, sorry. A little pre pre-podcast prayer.

Start with some parish notices. In the last episode we had a special episode where we talked about Tim getting new glasses. And Tim made a little a little vlog, a little video on the streets of Adelaide about his glasses that we released to patrons only. Tim, the feedback has been amazing. Well, I should think so. It's not a vlog, it was a film. A film, okay. I saw I saw it referred to as a v a vlog by some of the the um viewers. Ian said, This is amazing. We need more Tim in the straight vlogs.

and Malte said, Ha ha ha ha. I want you to do weekly vlogs now, especially when you're wearing those new glasses. They're just candy for the eyes. Candy for the And Lucianne said this ranks in my top three funniest unmade podcast bits. Just delightful. I'm sorry, but we need weekly five minute vlogs from Tim. A spin-off series called Unmade Adelaide Comedy Gold. My goodness.

I don't know if I can buy that many glasses. I can't believe these reviews, man. I think you're s you're getting 95% on Rotten Tomatoes. Yeah, it's got it's gone into that American li you know, Library of Congress film archive or whatever they have. Well, that's uh that's pleasing to hear. It was a lot of fun to make. Mm-hmm a lot of fun to make. But I am amazed it's been so well received. I I sent it to one person today saying

Look, I I don't know if you can hope just bear to sit through this. And they wrote back saying that was brilliant and hilarious too. So Well another reason to become a Patreon supporter. And if you become a Patreon supporter now, you haven't missed it, you can go back and watch it as well. Can I ask I won't talk too much about it'cause obviously not everyone can watch her. I've got one question though, one pulling back the curtain behind the scenes question.

The two cameos that happen where members of the public appear and talk to you. I don't want to like ruin the magic, but were they people you already knew or were they recruited like on the street to play their part. You are ruining the magic, man. I think you're really, really undermining some of the special effects that uh Okay. So you're not gonna tell me. No Okay. Okay. Uh were the dinosaurs real? The industrial light and magic were responsible for a lot of those.

As one famous earlier Jurassic Park review says, you couldn't tell where the computer generated dinosaurs ended and the real ones began. All right. I'm assuming they were people you knew because you know everyone in Adelaide. Well, they're from Adelaide, so we all we're all kind of family. Friends and or related, yes. Yeah.

A couple of episodes ago we had my idea for a boy band, creating a boy band, and we asked people to submit some possible names. Oh sorry I didn't write down the name of the person who suggested this one, but someone suggested the Halifax Street Boys. Oh nice. That's good. That's good. Very good. Uh Adeline sent in loads, including the unmanned band. Which I quite like. She was riffing a bit on Unmade Podcast and the unabridged track.

Oh yes, nice. Mike suggested Dad Bod Five. Dad and uh and Techno Music suggested the Sofa Shop Boys. I thought it was quite good too. Yeah, Sofa Shop Boys. Yeah, that kind of sounds pretty cool. So for Shops back. All right. Yeah. You like Halifax Street boys? Yeah, yeah, I think I think Halifax Street, like it's pretty cool at the moment to have bands that are named after really well known domestic areas.

Right. Like the other day I heard of a band in Adelaide that's just called West Tebberton. Yeah. Which is just like a suburb, you know, just Outside not too far from here. And it's just in the you know, back when I was young that would have been nowhere near cool enough. It was too domestic and local. But now that's really cool. So yeah, the Halifax Street works, I reckon. Really works. Uh and loads and loads of great comments on the latest marble run video too. Thanks everyone. Um Really?

Gosh. Yeah yes.'Cause you were in it, man,'cause you were in it'cause you're in it now, it's the end of the game. You see. I hope people aren't just fast forwarding to buy bits. I bet you do. You notice, uh, for those who are watching visually, I do have these big earmuff um headphones on tonight, um, because I I lost my little ones. Oh, you've got some big ones on too. I always wear the big ones, yeah.

So but yeah, Tim, in the in the marble run video, Tim wears the big sort of pundit trackside type headphones to create that feeling of uh excitement. Uh again another Patreon perk, so let's not dwell too long. Although thank you to Judy who said, I can't believe I watch this with darn near the same intensity with which I watch a Formula One race.

I was really into it. I found it really relaxing and beautiful to watch. Yeah, I really got into it. You just let it wash over you. I'll do another one soon. And remember we give away prizes too. It's now our main prize giving method. The patreon.com slash unmade fm. Go and join the excitement and the fun and the frankly way too much bonus content.

Well that's true. It was a bit like a Formula One. I did doze off halfway through and then woke up an hour later and it was still going. There were still several laps to go. Still Brady's setting up. Here's race thirty-eight. The red marble, Jim Smith. It's like there must have been a rain delay at some stage or a crash because yeah, gosh, it's still going.

Is all well with you? I didn't ask. I didn't ask how everything was going. Normally it takes us so long to set up that you know we've had about eight discussions before we start recording, but the things we're into it a bit. Uh I'm well, I'm good, man. Yeah, no, I'm good of heart, my soul is well.

Um I'm a bit w you know, it's the end of the day here, but I've just had a lovely pizza. I had a Coca-Cola, which I very rarely have, and it's like amazing. Like really amazing. Yeah. Um those glasses you're wearing, are they the uh Lemtoshes or are they like Which one are they the new new ones or are they just the new ones?

Like are they the replacements? No, these are the ones these are the ones that I'm wearing, um while they have to do some final adjustments and so forth. So these are the ones from the film. Right? Yeah. These these are a very high from the film now. Okay, right, okay. Prop from the film. They're gonna be like a l lightsaber one day. People are gonna wanna auction them off.

But um But they're not the final ones you're gonna wear. No. I'm gonna ha yeah, that's right. They've got they're getting in some more. They got in two the other day and I went in there and it was like, nah, they're still sitting on my cheek.

And uh then so they're getting in two more and I'll be going in as soon as I get the text message to say that they've arrived to try them again. Okay. And it's just gonna go on and on like this, like a you know, yeah. Like a marble race. It's just never ending. Brilliant.

All right. Ideas for a podcast. That's our stock and trade. Do you have one? In fact, I have had an idea that's so good that I did something that I've oh never or very rarely done. I looked up to see if it already existed. Right. And it doesn't. Right. And but ideas that are s kind of similar to it do. And I can't believe this has not been made. This podcast is simply called

Lie detector. Right. And this is a podcast idea where people come on and frankly, with a very qualified person with the appropriate system, just undertake a lie detector test. And you would think, surely, surely this exists somewhere. Well, it doesn't. I scrolled through everywhere thinking I would find one. And there's all sorts of podcasts about, you know, how does it work? How do lie detectors work? What's the psychology behind lie detectors?

How to beat a lie detector test. There's one called human lie detector where someone like, you know, reads the signals. But literally actually taking a lie detector test, man, I would love to listen to that for hours.

Why isn't there a podcast? There are lots of video series of this. I've seen l I get served lots of videos of this where like celebrities sit down and are given liar detector tests. That's quite common. Like for real? Yes. Like a proper polygraph, like you know, with the machine and everything. I get sent them all the time. And they're quite often

They do it with like celebrities. I don't know if it's done by like one of those magazines like Vanity Fair or something, but it's a series and they'll put someone famous in it and they'll ask them like sometimes they'll ask them really good questions like, you know, Do you think you're really handsome?

And they'll like say, No, no, I don't and they'll say, He's lying. He does think he's handsome. All right. Well s we see this is ex okay. So I thought this should exist and so it does exist in another form, does it? I've certainly seen a lot of videos of it. I've never listened to a podcast of it.

But I have seen v little like video series, like viral videos, but I've not heard a podcast. And of course it's a good idea. Who would who what if I said, Tim, here's a polygraph on the operator, you can do an interview with anyone you choose. Ask whatever you want, they have to answer, and you'll know if it's true or lie. Who's your first guest? Donald Trump. Okay. Yeah.

Powerful, influential band. Yeah, that's yeah, that's right. I would I guess I probably well you'd start there, surely. I mean that'd that'd rate, wouldn't it? Mm-hmm. Um people would watch that. When you move on from there to somewhere a little bit more personal and interesting, I don't know. my uh probably not my wife. She's Oh no, don't do that. Wow wow. You w you s look look terrified. You don't wanna know what your wife really thinks. Of course you do. Well

Oh no. Here I was worried that that that I that she you know what I mean, that I already know, but you're actually worried about what what she will say. Yeah, no, you don't wanna know. You don't wanna know what your wife thinks. Like That would just completely destroy your ego. Well Or it could be totally moving and endearing and confirming and make you more close. No. Okay, okay, I've changed my mind. It wouldn't be my wife, it would be your wife. That's it.

Donald Trump can wait. I'm starting with Kylie. What would you want to ask your wife? Ah, well I I thought that would be a clever answer, you know, for cute fun things or you know, that time when we were at so and so, did you really take the last chip? You know, you said you didn't like you know that kind of fun thing. That's right, okay. That's right, yeah, yeah. Okay. But would you like would you you wouldn't like ask her, Do you think I'm handsome? Uh

Uh no no. I mean well yes, sure, but I I I assume she does find me handsome. She's married to me. Um You think that means she thinks you're handsome? Everyone else finds me handsome, I don't know why. Well, that's true. She may, she may I once found you I found you handsome. And you go, No, I didn't say found, I said find. So maybe there are quick ways around it.

Tell me about this last chip issue that you're worried about that you want to find out about with your wife. Oh no, that's a hypothetical that's a hypothetical thing. I tell you a a true story though. When when we were dating, we met at college, right? And so we were both totally poor and um working little part time jobs while we're studying and stuff.

And at the college where we had, we had everyone, all the students had pigeonholes, walls and walls of pigeonholes where you'd leave your coffee mug and where your essays, believe it or not, would be put back, you know,'cause you'd hand them in in print back in those days. And um we were talking about money or facing some issue or something like that. I just never had enough money. And then one day I found an envelope in my pigeonhole with some cash in it.

And it was this there was just one line I think on it that said, you know, God bless you or something like that, you know? Back to the story, sorry about that. Um And so I was like blown away, like, Oh, what a wonderful gift. This is fantastic. And I'm like, who who could have and there's a few people that could have done it, you know what I mean? Like just kind people or people I knew or older people.

And as I thought about it, I was like, oh, hang on a sec, hang on a sec. And I looked at Syl and I said, Is this from you? And she said, No. And I said, It is from you, isn't it? And she said No, no And I said I'm sho I'm I'm sure it I think it's from you. And and she was like, No, it's not from me, seriously. Yeah. And then we went away to class and all the rest of it and all and all these sort, you know, a few hours went by and we met up again.

And apparently in the meantime, she'd gone off to uh her class and she was talking with someone in class going, Oh no, I've just lied to Tim. And like what if we end up together and it's like, have you ever lied to me? And I have lied to him and so forth. So at the next

Next break we got back together again and and she said, Look, I just need to confess something, it was me that put money in your cab A, I knew that and beer, that's so sweet that you thought that was like such a big devastating lie to have kept from her. So Um it's a shame she told you. I was about to take credit for it myself. Oh well done. Thank you. It was me, Matt. It was me. It was me. I'll tell you the other person I'd put on, I'd put you on the stand to finally be able to ask about that

bloody card trick you did all those years ago that I still don't know how you did it. Okay. Remember that? Do you remember the card trick? I remember the card trick. Yeah, you you only bring it up. Once or twice a year. It would be nice to know how you did that. Do you want me to tell you? Are you gonna tell me? You ready? Yes, yes, I do. It was magic. I knew it I knew I knew I knew you had powers beyond what we could comprehend.

It was Jesus who told me which card you picked. No, it wasn't. Jesus does not do card tricks. Why wouldn't he? And then they cast lots again to choose a new disciple after he was gone. To replace Judas. Yeah, Jesus was it sounds like Jesus had a gambling problem. It's like there was that time he had that roulette wheel. I guess there was a few times. Alright, what am I gonna turn this water into? Heads, milk, tails, wine.

Two up. But I Yeah. Yeah, that's right. I mean but if it's a lie detector where I have to answer questions, what are you gonna ask me to find out how I did the card trick? Because like You if you don't ask me like, you know, yes or no questions or things like that, like you know, I would like to know if it was a fluke or not. For those who I mean, surely

For those who have not heard this, Brady did this amazing card trick, which was essentially, you know, like pick a card and then you put the whole deck together and then he goes, Is this your card? And I go, Yes. But it was so unbelievable because He mixed up the cards for so long on his bed that it was just it's absolutely impossible. And then he just randomly picked one out and said, Is this your card? And it was correct. Yeah.

This is a good thir this is this is a good thirty years ago now. Yeah. Um still Tim still wakes up thinking about it every morning.

Oh dear. I'll tell the story of how I did it at your funeral. I'll do the trick on your coffin. Speaking of my funeral speaking of my funeral, if people go under social media, they'll be able to see that there is a Associated with the episode, the last episode about my glasses, Brady's put together a little compilation of a whole bunch of photos of my life and more my glasses together.

And it's like a gif. It flicks through really, really quickly, like the world's fastest PowerPoint pr sort of presentation crossing through my life. I had to line up your eyes in every single picture so your face remains in the one place. It was sort of No, I appreciate I just sort of th thought you'd throw them all into AI and say turn this into a GIF. It doesn't work. It doesn't do it well enough. It needs the human touch. So I spent basically hours just staring at your face.

And it kind of freaked me out. Do you think I'm handsome? You're quirky. Yeah. In a in a sort of a fuzzy bear kind of way. But I was thinking h having made that, it's like really, really cool. And I showed it to my mum and and stuff. Oh man, that must have blown your mum away. Oh, she was she goes

She literally said, Uh Tim, it's a bit quick. I can't see them all. And I'm like, Yes, mum, that's the point. It flies through them really, really fast. But I was just thinking, uh, getting back to my funeral, like how c if I was to like die soon.

Um, you know how at the funeral you have like a a PowerPoint presentation of someone's life? It'd just be such convenient timing. It'd be like, Oh wow, how shame that Tim's died. However, we do have that really cool, you know, PowerPoint thing of his face to play.

And it could be just flick that through. Everyone brace yourself. You've got three seconds to reminisce about Tim It would just be like, Oh, that's so handy. We've got to put that in there somewhere. And it'd be just from a content point of view. Um which is not the most important part of a funeral, but but you know, it would be handy. Everyone could go home from the funeral with their own Tim Hahn. Non fungible token N F T thing of you know, you can download it.

That's right. Give everyone a USB stick with it. Would it take that for you to go, Oh, glad I spent a few hours on that. That was worth it after all. It would suddenly all feel worthwhile. It would all feel worthwhile. I've ha I've been thinking because Edward's got a birthday coming up.

Edward Edward being my little boy. I'm thinking of making one of his first four years. Like, you know, flicking through his faces as like a little surprise. All right. Mainly'cause I think it will make like Kylie really happy. Yeah. But because of that, because I'm gonna do that I can't show her the one I made of you. Because

then she'll be upset that I made one of you before I made one of our son. Oh, right, okay. Hm Is there a thing between you guys that's like, well, you love Tim more than you love Edward? Is that like a th an a constant argument? Well, I mean I mean I I think I think it's you know it's it's obviously attention. When you when you guys are going back and forth and arguing about that, does she suddenly blurt out?

Do you love him more than you love me? Like a bit like this high point and then you don't answer quick enough. And so she's like, then walks away. I thought so. I'm like, what do you mean by love? It's not like it's not like I love one of you more than the other one, but it doesn't work like that. I love you all the same. You're like children. I can't decide, except one of you's my child and the other one's like a friend from school.

You know, I don't do a podcast with her or Edward, do I? Well you have done one with her, although you had other people in there as well. Yeah, a bit of a buffer. Oh by the way, make sure people go and listen to the latest of Kylie's podcasts, Down with the Kids.

I make a cameo appearance for just a few seconds at an unexpected moment. Down with the kids, it's called. It's really good. It's it's a really it's actually my favourite podcast at the moment. Go and have a listen. Down with the kids. As in suddenly in the midst of them talking tenderly about how to be wonderful parents.

your voice yelling at the top of your voice that your child comes from up downstairs. It's like No. Well actually it's th they don't it's not a tender podcast. It's actually a funny podcast. It's way funnier than us. But Kylie was really, really busy last week and needed some help. So I agreed to edit the podcast for her, her podcast.

And at one point she was talking about me and I feel she was making some like unfounded accusations. Right. So so I used my power as the editor to like just insert myself responding to the accusations. That's awesome. Has she discovered? Has she seen it? Or has it gone out? She heard it she heard it's gone out, but she yeah, she listened back before publishing it of course and she was like, Okay.

You can keep that. No, that's cool. That's great. Oh, I love that. Uh lie detector is has been thoroughly done online. Right. But that doesn't matter. That's not that's there's no rule with the unmade podcast that we can only do things that, you know I ran made. Well we'll see Because because otherwise most of our ideas won't probably won't fly. Unmade by us. One ma let's

Let's let's um let's spend uh one more precious moment on this and see if you can improve it with a twist. So lie detector, like on a boat, or lie detector um Okay, yeah, I hear. You know what I mean? Like what's what's what's our twist on it? Yeah, yeah. Um Can you have someone on a lie detector asking questions that a person answering? I don't know, is there some twist on it that I like I

I would maybe like the idea of taking someone random off the street and giving them a lie detector test. Oh yeah, right. And just seeing what you can find out about them. It's a brave person that just says, Oh sure stranger I'll I think maybe you are on a winner with your initial idea of a lie detector on a boat. You know, that would that would add a lot, man. Light detector on a boat. Or on a plane, long distance light detectors. On a plane, yeah. It's space.

In space. Yeah. Underwater. Yeah. Underwater light sector. Scuba diving. Stories. Um Yeah. What about uh what about a podcast called Pie Detector? And you have to find out when someone last ate a pie and they and they can like they have to disguise it from you and you have to ask them a series of questions and they have to tell like the truth or lies and stuff. And if they get lied they get like a cream pie in the face.

Maybe. When did you last eat a pie, man? Well in Australia we have these meat pies and that would be the most recent thing I've had rather than like an apple pie. Um it would have been oh uh within the last month, I can't remember. Uh lie. You had one today at lunch. Whoa, no, no, no, no. You're likely to make a pie detector one where it's like

you know, you have to measure out pi or walk pi or something like that from a maths point of view. Yes, the number pie. Okay. Could do that. I'm thinking if they have to rhyme thigh detector. No, that's not gonna work, is it? Well people people people say how big their thighs are and Yeah, you have to is that true or not? Yeah. Tie detector?

About ties? Yeah, you can't see the person. You have to you have to figure out if they're wearing a tie or not and they're hooked up to a polygraph. I was having lunch with you someone yesterday who's like an executive in uh you know, like a Council and they were they weren't wearing a tie and we had a conversation about how few people were wearing ties all around us, business people and all that. They really do seem to be finally fading, don't they, from yeah corporate life.

Mm, not at the very top and not in like politics. But they should. In weekend politics they are in Australia. So if the Prime Minister does a press conference on a you know, Sunday afternoon, he won't be wearing a tie. He'll still be wearing a business shirt though. It's not like he's wearing like a a stussy surfing t shirt.

No, that's right. Yeah. Although our Prime Minister, Anthony Albanese, is uh pretty legendary for wearing rock t shirts at sort of little moments, getting off a plane and stuff. It's become a pretty cool thing for him to do, which I quite like. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

When did you last wear a tie? Oh, it would have been a funeral. Yeah, a funeral. I I wear them Do you wear them for all funerals? Yes I do. Yeah. Definitely a funeral. Definitely definitely a wedding uh as well. They would be almost the only times. I tell you what, I am getting made though. I'm having a suit made at the moment by my tailor. Yeah. Saying the words my tailor makes it sound very classy, but it's

Uh Regenda, who I've been going to, who does like, you know, adjustments and things on sleeves and jackets and stuff forever. And he's always talked about making me a suit. And um so he's now making me a suit, which I'm pretty excited about. So Yeah. What look are you going for? What colour is it? Oh, it like dark charcoal. Pretty classic. Like I'm just gonna have one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Then I'll get a jacket. Then I'll have to choose I've got two ties at home.

Um we'll see if I have another one that goes goes with that one. So yeah, it'd be nice to have a it's doing a really, really nice like I like I like the idea rather than giving a heap of money to a big, you know corporate kind of, you know, Hugo Bossey kind of place. I like the idea that, you know, I've got a local guy and he's making one for me and

He was he was recommended to me by an old friend's mum who's like a dressmaker who said, Look, I once asked her, could you do some work? And she said, I don't do that anymore. However, you should go to this guy because he's the best I've ever worked with in my whole career.

So I went and found him. His name's Reginda. Essay Taylors and Drapes. Lovely guy. Uh on Only Road. I hope you got paid for that. What's that? No, no, no, no. I'm I'm I'm really grateful to him. He won't listen to the podcast. But um he's just a lovely self effacing kind of guy. And um decent prices. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like like quality, quality, worth the work that he's putting in. Where'd you say it was based? What road is it on? Unley Road in Adelaide. S. A. Taylors and Drake.

So he does curtains as well. Yeah, it's a really unpretentious name. I'm I'm saying to him, you know, Reginda, you've got to have like, you know, Rend Reginda suits or some sort of corporate thing, you know, it's a cool looking logo. And he's like, you know, no Tim, I'm happy with this.

You know? Reginder and sons or something. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'll tell you my tie detector story. I don't know if I've told you this one. I probably have. And I have told this in the video before, so some people will know it. I very rarely wear ties and I had some event

that required me to wear a tie. And I spent ages choosing a tie. I went all around Bristol. I must have got into five or six shops, tried everything. I just had this vision of what I wanted. And eventually I found the tie I wanted. And I was really happy with it. And I wore it. And then I put it in a box or I put it in a drawer, I put it away, I don't know, you know, never to be worn again. And then more recently, when I had actually when I had my investiture at

Windsor Castle. Oh yes, with Prince Charles. King Charles now, yes. I had to get a tie and I couldn't find this tie that I'd bought years before. So I said, Alright, time for another tie expedition and I went into Bristol and I must have gone to seven or eight different shops, tried everything, went back to some and eventually I found the one I liked best. Said, all right, this is this is the one. Bought that. Wore it to the thing. Came home and I thought, What am I gonna do with this tie now?

I'll chuck it in a box. And obviously my brain works in a certain way that I decided to go and chuck it in the same box that I had used last time. So I found the previous tie because it was in that same shoe box. Yeah. I got the shoebox that oh there's the old tie. I'm gonna put this one in there too. The tie that I'd bought years and years before, exact same tie. Get lost. Same colour, same brand, same pattern, same fabric, exact same tie.

Both time I'd spent hours and hours searching and picked the same one. That's pretty cool. Wow. So what are you see now you've got two. What are you gonna do with them? You got them both there as a little pair. I'll probably buy a third one when I next time after we retire. Well, that's right. You've got to complete the set now. Yeah. Yeah. It's a trilogy. It's a trilogy.

Three colours burgundy. Maybe we should try and bring ties back. I wonder if you could get ties, you know, like reverse the trend. Do you think Do you think we should have a merch? Should we have an unmade podcast tie? Oh, that's a great idea. Nice. Lovely, classy, unmade podcast. Time.'Cause they do those for you know, companies have them and stuff. Airlines have them. I think

That's totally a thing. So are we gonna go corporate, like like a plain colour with just a little logo down the bottom, or is it gonna be a bit flashy or what would the unmade podcast tie look like? Well, yeah, this is a good point. Is it more of a party tie? Look I I or is it more corporate, more serious? Are people gonna gonna wear it?

Is it gonna be white with a bit of sort of teal on it or is it gonna be more teal? Well like what is it gonna be? Is it are people gonna wear a teal tie? Do we have to like do we have to go um yeah, no, white or you don't have a white tie'cause you've got a white shirt. That's crazy. Quack!

Well, there's a bit of work to be done here. People send send in your designs for time. S Send in your designs. I need to find and I how am I gonna get it manufactured? Oh, that'll be easy. Yeah, but I d I want it to be classy. I don't want it just to be like a cheapo printed on a, you know

It'd be easy to get custom ties made on the cheap, but I want this to have a bit of class about it. Oh right. Well so well you're you're not far from Savile Row, surely in London. Someone there will know someone that makes a tie. I'm sure I've looked into having ties made before for some reason. A silver tone of some kind or I'll get onto it. All right.

Mun made podcast tie. Let's move on. Tie detector. There we go. I knew it was a we've we've gone we've gone from lie detector to pie detector to talking about ties. That's how this show works. And another way this show works is we have a little segment we like to call

Literally hold it up for everybody if you're seeing there. This is a spoon of Australia. I uh The Spoon of Australia. Spoon of Australia. It literally has the Australian coat of arms on it and nothing else. I don't know where this would have been bought. I mean, uh clearly it was bought in Australia. Like most other things, it probably wasn't made in Australia though. No.

But it's um maybe bought it somewhere significant, like Can Canberra's, you know, Parliament House or something like that. I do remember us visiting there when I was young. Maybe I bought this for mum and dad when I was In Canberra visiting. It looks ol it looks old though to me. Like it looks like it doesn't look like a modern spoon. It looks old, like that coat of arms.

So t for people who haven't seen it, you can go to all the usual places to see it. This is a pretty bog standard decorative teaspoon. The bowl is quite plain, the stem is nice, bit of ornateness to it. And then at the top at the at the handle we have the usual enameled Picture. It's the coat of arms of Australia. Quite a childish looking one, not very refined. I would also say it looks a little bit

Off centered. I would say if you sent this away to PSA to have it rated as like a collector card, you wouldn't be getting a ten, you'd be getting like a six or a five because it's not perfectly centered. Um You're right. It is a little bit, Tim. That's what we need to do. Have you heard of these companies like PSA that rate collector cards? No. So if you get if you get a rare collector card, right, you know uh, you know, limited edition signed Michael Jordan card, you send it to this company

It authenticates it, but it also gives a rating for the condition of the card, like how perfect it is, how nice the corners are, how centered it was printed. They're really, really fussy. And then they send it back to you in like a plastic sealed block. And that PSA rating will dictate the value of the card quite a bit. And you want to get a ten. That's that's the perfect card. You and I should start a PSA rating company for spoons.

where people send us their spoon, we give a a mark out of ten, and then send it back to them with like a certificate saying, you know, Tim and Brady have given this spoon a seven. And and your the value of your spoon then lives or dies by the rating we gave it. That is that is a great idea. We could be the world authority. This could be a business opportunity because, you know, it's getting harder to m to scratch together a living.

in this online world and podcast advertising's all falling apart and You know, it's hard to get the patrons on board. Maybe we need to start rating spoons. Wow, that's a l that's the logical progression from podcasting. There's no doubt about that. It is. It it it could become a crowded market, to be fair. So I just hope that's a good idea. Not another podcaster rating spoon.

That reminds me. I just remembered a story that I really wanted to tell you. Yeah. Can I take a spoon of the week interlude for ten seconds while I while I do this? Okay, okay, okay. Story of the week interlude. We'll come back to the Australia spoon. Brady's story of the week. You know how I used to have that big boom microphone for podcasting? Like that big like a big arm that stretches over your desk and it's got all the Pop shield attached to it and all

like cliche podcasty. You used to hang down. It was it was almost almost like you were the commentator at a at a at a boxing match sometimes. It would just sort of come down from the sky. Yeah. It couldn't look more podcasty, could it? It couldn't look more I'm a podcaster. Than having this big boom mic on your desk and everything, right? Anyway, I've moved away from that.

And I've given the microphone away to someone else. But I still had this boom arm and all the rigmarole attached to the end of it and the Pop shield and that. And I had no use for it anymore, probably not worth a lot of money, a vr an old podcast microphone, boom. So I said I'm taking it to the tip, the recycling centre, put it in the big bin for metal scraps.

So I put it in the car, drove down to the tip, and I got I get it out and I'm carrying this huge podcast microphone up to the bin and I walk up to the guy who works at the recycling centre, who must have been sixty five, weathered, old. Uh, you know the guy, you know the guy. And he looks at me walking up with this podcast microphone about to throw it in the bin and he just looks at me and goes, Giving up the podcast, are we, mate?

And I just had the vision of this guy at the recycling centre who sees so many failed podcasters coming up and throwing their kit away. Like, oh, another podcaster throwing throwing away their kit. And I didn't know what to say, I just said, That's a tough game. Threw it away. It's like like a podcasting graveyard. That's fantastic, yeah. Long extender arms, just gore. That's Oh, that's fantastic.

Do you reckon the government you know in Australia years ago how we had that big gun buyback scheme? The amnesty. Yeah, yeah. It was like if you hand in your guns you get paid for them. What the gu the we changed the legislation, got rid of all these semi automatic weapons. So there was just pictures on the news all the time of

Like massive, massive containers full of all these bit guns that are gonna be thrown away. Yeah. I'm picturing that, just with those podcast microphones and just like podcast amnesty. The government will buy back your podcast kit if you've had a failed podcast. The government's gonna say, look, we can tell there's a whole lot of people out there, males in particular, who have overcommitted, you've committed early and you've overcapitalized. We've got an aminant.

Bring'em in, bring'em in and you'll get you'll get your minimum amount for them and we'll destroy them all at once and melt them down. I just cues around the block of people holding microphones just to be disappointed. Oh that's great.

Uh all right. Anyway, Australia spoon. Uh nice spoon, Tim, Australia coat of arms. Do you want to explain the Australian coat of arms to people? Saying this is an audio format. Yeah, yeah. What does the Australian coat of arms look like? Well it's got there's a shield in the middle that has uh a sign on each of it, a symbol, almost like a totem from each of the states. Yes.

So uh for instance for South Australia it's got the um I always forget the it's not a magpie, is it? It's a um plover. Piping shrike. Oh is it? It's not a plover. Oh piping shrike is the is the bird. As you can see, I'm a proud South Australian. Sorry.

Um there's five of those on there, right? Or six, is it? One, two, three, four, five. There, there's six of those. That's how many states we've got. Yep. And um So a shield with little a shield with six crests on the shield representing each of the states. There's a there's a big star above the shield representing, I think, just, you know, the country as a whole. Yeah. Then then there's two animals, right? On one side there is an emu, and on the other side there is a kangaroo.

Like holding the shield. They're like they're like hold presenting the shield. Yeah, I mean the EMU's not holding anything'cause it doesn't have any arms. Interesting you should say that. Interesting you should say that. Wow. Moments before we started recording, I did a little bit of half baked research.

And I found something interesting. Because yes, there is a kangaroo and emu either side of the shield. Mm and I think it's an oft repeated piece of trivia that those two animals were chosen because they can't step backwards. So they're like the ideal animals to be holding the shield in place proudly. Animals that can't back away from it. I've never heard that in my life. But anyway. Oh, okay. I don't know if it's true, but it's an oft repeated fact. That that's why they were chosen.

But I had a little look on uh on an official like government website about the history of the Coat of arms. Yeah. And I think it was like officially proclaimed by the king at the time, who was one of the Edwards in like right at the start of the 1900s. He he gave the sign off on our coat of arms, the first version of it. And on the first version of it, the shield in the middle had no state symbols. It was just like a blank shield.

So I think twenty years later or something like that, they they like did a version two that represents all the states, right? Right. But In the version one version Of the of the coat of arms. Let me send actually see if I've still got the page open. Here is uh copy image. Let me text

Next to this to my good friend Tim. Here's the version one image, Tim. I've just sent it to you. This is without the states represented on the shield. Oh yeah. But the thing that's interesting about it is the kangaroo is holding the shield with its like little Little mini kangaroo arms. Yeah. But in this one the emu is holding the shield with one of its legs. Oh yeah, right. It's like it's like got one leg on the ground and the other one is like up in this really awkward yoga pose.

holding the shield. So you say, well, of course the emu isn't holding a shield'cause an emu can't hold a shield. Well in the original version of our coat of arms, it was holding the shield. in a rather awkward way. There you go. There you go. V in version two, it's no longer holding the shield with its leg, but it is it has got like its sort of

chest and lower neck pushed up against the shield to hold it in place. I'm looking at the coat of arms as well. I've Googled it and I'm looking at it in a variety of places and I'm noticing something that's inconsistent with the most famous place where the coat of arms appears. And that is on the front of Australian Parliament House.

So you Google Australian Parliament House. Yes, I've seen that. It's like a it's like a metal sculpture version, isn't it? That's right. But go and have a look at it. There's something really distinct about it that you may not have to do. Okay, I'm I'm gonna look at the Parliament House one. Parliament House Australia uh coat of arms. Okay. Yeah, I found it, Tim. I'm looking at the one at the front of the Australian Parliament.

Uh so it's quite a modern arty. The it's got kangaroo, it's got the emu, it's got the star, it's got the shield. I mean it hasn't got any of the shrubbery and greenery around it, but But go down further, further down the kangaroo. look between the kangaroo leg is is sort of nether regions. Well are you saying it's got balls? It's got balls. The one the fun of It has testicles. It has testicles indeed. But balls is kind of more A C D C language for it, but they they it has Okay.

It has testicles. How did you know this? Is this like a thing people joke about? I've never noticed it before, but it was on a documentary presented by your old colleague from many years ago, Annabelle Crab, who pointed out the fact that the coat of arms on Parliament House Quite distinctly, not on every coat of arms, mm, is very deliberately male, and his male appendage is quite pronounced, even though it's a very minimalist painting. Well not painting, sculpture. Sculpture is the word I meant.

It's a isn't that a isn't that a curiosity, don't you think? That is I'm not surprised by it though, because one of the number one sort of gifts or souvenirs that people buy in Australia these days Is a kangaroo scrotum, which has been turned into like a coin holder. That seems to be a really common gift. I've bought one before.

for people. When I c when I come to Australia and you go into gift shops that are selling spoons and snow globes and stuff, you can buy these authentic kangaroo scrotums that have been turned into coin pouches. Wow. Um so have you not seen these? They're everywhere. They're super common. Look, no, no, I don't I'm I guess you don't go into that. No, I don't I don't go scrotum shopping as often as you do.

But then again I don't come back to visit Australia for those sorts of things very often either. So I bought one I bought one for Edward's nanny uh one time. Right, right. But yeah, obviously because they have to cull so many kangaroos and what do you do with all these

all these carcasses and hides and that and they they put nothing to waste. No, that's right. And everyone has so much cash these days as well, carrying around. It's like where are we going to put it in the world? Yeah, I guess the co I I guess sales of the coin holders are struggling, they have to turn them into something else now.

Maybe they need to turn them into iPhone cases or something, I don't know. But Or maybe they should take they should be like chip holders at the casino. Like you should get handed your chips. Kangaroo scrotem. Um I can't believe I'm Googling kangaroo scrotum. Kangaroo scrotum coins. Gosh the word scrotum is a is a gross word, isn't it? It's not nice, is it? No. Uh it's not nice. Hang on, I'll send you a picture of one too.

I'm now officially texting you a picture of a kangaroo screwed and ca that's what my life is coming from. I'm pretty sure my firewall is gonna block it, but anyway, I'll have a look at No, no. They don't look they just look like leather pouches. They don't look particularly I understand.

Hm. Quite small. There you go. They are small. They're nice though. I think they're okay. They are not they're like yes, nice. They're just like little leather leather pouches with a kangaroo embossed on them. I'm assuming that kangaroo shape was embossed on it after the kangaroo had died.'Cause that would be incredibly painful otherwise. I I don't think kangaroos are born with the shape of a kangaroo on their scrott. No. No. And and product of Australia or something like that.

What what do you what is this animal? Well hang on, let's check the scrotum. Oh look, there's a shape of a kangaroo. Oh right, okay. This must be This must be a kangaroo. That would mean we would need little outlines of people on ours. That would be that would be quite funny, wouldn't it? I'm sorry. I hope your mum's not listening to this episode. That was a deep well, mum's very much into kangaroo skin. I don't know so much about the scrotums, but I do remember her having a kangaroo handbag.

that I it was all so soft and lovely. I used to love like using it as a sort of a a little pillow when we were at church and I was falling asleep on the floor. Yeah. Okay. So she's not beyond um you know, owning a little bit of dead kangaroo. Well, go and have a look at the show notes for a picture of Tim's uh Australian coat of arms spoon.

Uh with a kangaroo which I'm assuming doesn't have its scrotum showing. No. Hard to tell because it's so small, but I I doubt they've I doubt they've got one in there. I can't see one. It's one of the floors, but I wonder if it's a bit like that famous post postage stamp that's upside down. You know what I mean? Like if you can find a kangaroo without a scrotum, maybe that's really rare. The inverted Jenny. Yeah. The scrotumless kangaroo. This kangaroo doesn't have a jenny. That's right.

Is that what it's called? The inverted jenny, that famous postage stamp. The inverted jenny with the plane upside down, yes. In Brewster's millions. Yeah. Yes, yes. There was a whole there was a a bunch of them on which the plane was upside down. Uh that were released. The inverted Jenny. Well that was Spoon of the Week. It was. That well that was lots of things. But uh But yeah, okay.

Let's move on to my podcast idea. I'll keep it quick. Cause I haven't developed it right. I haven't quite got it. But there's something there. Can I share it with you? Y you may, yes. My idea for a podcast, I'm calling the chosen one. Right. And this is about an object, a thing, an animal, probably not a person. I don't know where it's gonna go yet, right? And you pick one of those things that for some reason rose above all the others. famous or significance or worthy of discussion. Right.

But but not because it was exceptional, right? For example, take Michael Jordan. You could say, Well, he's special, isn't he? He's really good at basketball. He's an he's an exceptional human. But that's because he's really good at basketball. That wouldn't that wouldn't count. I'm going to give you some examples. Take the world of icebergs.

Can you imagine if icebergs could talk or were a community or sentient or had a hall of fame, right? Right. Which iceberg would be the chosen one? Which iceberg would be the one that when he walked in the room or floated into the room, all the other icebergs were Look who just walked in. Look who it is. Which one would it be? All right, have you got another example?

Maybe a better example. No, this is the best ex this is the this is my favorite example. What's the most famous iceberg in history? Well, I guess the one that hit the Titanic. Yes. That is the chosen iceberg. That is the iceberg of all icebergs, right? Mm-hmm. So in the world of icebergs, the chosen one, the special iceberg, is the one that sank the Titanic. Say

The world of asteroids, right? These huge rocks in space. And there are m millions, probably billions of these things, right? Yeah. So they're not they're not but one of them One of them was wiped out the dinosaurs. Right. Just by luck. Just by luck. It happened to be the one that just hit the earth at the appropriate time to create this mass extinction event. So it's believed. So that was like the chosen

the chosen one of asteroids. So each episode you can pick a different thing And then you talk about the one that rises above all the others. Let me give you a few more examples. Another example could be um of all the dinosaurs that existed, there may have been one that just died at the right time, at the right place and it fell in the right bit of mud or tar pit to be fossilized just right and Millions and millions and millions of years later it ends up at the entrance to a big famous museum.

It's fossil, it's skeleton. So of all the dinosaurs that could have been at the entrance to the museum and become famous, it was this one. More examples. I Uh of all the little bits of rocks and diamond in the ground. This is the one that ended up in the crown of the King of England. Let me put it more into your language. Can you I imagine at some point a couple of thousand years ago?

when the Romans were crucifying lots of people and killing lots of people. Yep. They probably had all these planks of wood or maybe they already had them pre made into little crosses ready for the next crucifixion. Of all those crosses and all those bits of wood that were sitting at the back of some carpenter's place, there was one cross that they that they pulled off the rack and said, All right, let's chuck this Jesus guy on this one and crucified him. And that one cross Now is the one that is

The most replicated symbol of all time. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're all wearing around our necks and things like that. So there are these things that are but basically it's about things that are ordinary and there are lots of and and but one of them for some reason became exceptional. That's that's I tell you, I've got a even better that I like this is a good idea. I now get what you're saying. And just to clarify as well, to be fair, because you've personified the iceberg so well, the iceberg

didn't hit the Titanic, of course. It was a Titanic that invaded its space. Well no, I'm not portioning blame. Don't don't don't take the glory away from this iceberg of all the icebergs floating around thinking I'm gonna bring a ship down tonight. No, no, I don't think it chased the Titanic down. It's like

The Titanic could have been going past her and it went, whoa, stuck out a leg at the last minute. Stuck out a leg at the last minute, that's right. You didn't realise I was this big under the water, did you? I tell you the classic example of this, of course. And this is I'm I'm not to take us back to scrotums again, is you and I. The classic example, of course, is of all the eggs.

And of all the Oh right. Spur You know what I mean? Billions of them. Uh over time and so forth, there was one that became you. There you go. Amazing. So that's the classic example. We do fit into that example. I asked um

Kylie, my wife, for in a quick example as I was leaving the house, her mind often goes to sort of fashion and clothing and style,'cause that's something she's into. She pointed out of all the outfits that were owned by Jackie Kennedy. In the nineteen sixties. She was famously a very stylish woman and wore all these evidence. On one particular morning she decided to wear this pink Chanel suit. Yeah. She sat next to her husband on a on a sunny day in Texas and then obviously JFK was assassinated.

That suit has become really, really famous, hasn't it? That pink suit that Jackie Kennedy was wearing like, you know. Yeah, you know, it's got the bundle, it's got the blood spatter on it and stuff like that. But also it's just just the look of it now has become super famous. She could have worn anything that day. Would that have become famous? But that was the suit that got written into written into history and is now so

so seared into memories. There is all sorts of examples as well. Of course because everything that sort of becomes special and iconic starts off ordinary. Like there was of of the you know tens of thousands of g you know guitars that were made um you know by by Fender, one of them becomes the Stratocaster that you know Jimi Hendrix used at Woodstock.

And, you know, that kind of thing. Or the acoustic guitars that Kirk Cobain the most expensive guitar ever sold is the acoustic guitar that that Kirk Cobain used at the unplug session. Of course it's just an acoustic guitar. It's a pretty battered up one. Nothing particularly special about it. Good guitar, but

Nothing, you know. It's not like he picked it because it's iconic, it becomes iconic. There's a weird kind of that's why I haven't quite nailed this idea yet, because there's a weird um middle ground between what I'm sort of trying to put my finger on And what you just put your finger on, which is, you know, famous objects, you know. You know, and and

I don't quite know where it is. You know. Obviously in a baseball game they have dozens and dozens and dozens of baseballs out the back and they they must go through I don't know how many baseballs they go through in a game of baseball, but it must be. twenty, thirty, fifty, I don't know,'cause they're always using new ones. But yeah, one of them will be the one that's hit for that.

a mortal home run and ends up in a museum and auctioned for a million dollars and stuff like that. So there are there are that. Another really good example is

There are things called type specimens. Um in the animal kingdom, for example, every species of animal has one example that they find and they keep and they preserve and they make that the type specimen for that animal so that when you find another species to decide, oh is this a new is this a new species of elephant or is this just an African elephant? you go back to your reference type specimen which is kept somewhere in the world and that becomes like

the the pro forma for every animal. But of course the animal that becomes the type specimen is just arbitrarily chosen. It was just you know, it's dead and preserved. And they someone just says, Okay, you're the type specimen for all elephants. And th therefore that elephant in a kind of weird way, although it's dead, becomes famous, doesn't it? It becomes like the the ultimate

exemplar version of something. And I always find type specimens quite funny for that reason. I once saw the type specimen I've talked about this before, I once saw the type specimen of the platypus. Which has which is an animal with an interesting story that I won't go into now. But when I was shown it by by the woman, she said, Yeah, when the early settlers went to Australia, this was the one they sent back to England and it became the type specimen of platypus.

And she said, It's interesting'cause it's actually quite a young one. Uh it's quite and it was probably just the young, slowest, dumbest one that they could catch first. And therefore and yet because of that it became the type specimen for all platy pie or platypuses. So I liked the idea that it's kind of dumbness and slowness is what

Got it selected for great. Yeah. That's nice. They got elevated in that sense. Yeah. So anyway, I like this like investigation into the version of a common thing. So like for example At one point I was thinking, you know, when two continents collided into each other and all the ground got all wrinkled, which is what causes a mountain range to happen basically. A mountain range is just

wrinkly messiness after continental plates collide. Yeah. One of those little bits of messiness became Mount Everest, right? You know. And at first I thought that would might be an example of what I'm talking about. But I think that's not an example of what I'm talking about. Because Mount Everest is the highest and the biggest, right? Therefore there's a reason that it's the most famous. It's the biggest on the planet. So that wouldn't count. I don't want things that

are exceptional because they're exceptional. They're the biggest or the best or the most amazing. I want ones that are just ordinary but were kind of thrust into Thrust into um fame for some other reason, for some other serendipitous reason. Like that microphone you're speaking into now, of all the microphones, they could have ended up in the podcast graveyard and yet there it is.

So close to the ha the heron lips. Ma it is very close to the heron lips. This one has this one has so far survived. I haven't had to turn it in yet in a podcast amnesty. There's gotta be an idea in that podcast amnesty thing somewhere. I love that. Yeah, yeah.

That would be it would be a funny thing to declare. That's the sort of thing that that um as an April Fool's joke a a premier or prime minister could come out and declare. It's officially a podcast amnesty. I think having a podcast and launching a podcast is becoming a little bit like Gym memberships. It's something you have to try once. Yeah, yeah. So and then and then never do again. Like try once, abandon, never.

I have found myself bic because as you know, I'm in pre production planning a new podcast, which I'll tell people about a little bit down the track. Um Yes. Exciting news coming people. Much more work related sort of thing. But when I've been telling people that I'm doing this, particularly in a in a work sense, you know, serious meetings and things like that, not just going, Oh, I've got this idea for a podcast, but

you know, like, oh actually it's gonna need funding and organization and all that kind of stuff. You've recorded one already. I've heard it. It's yeah, we've done the pilot. Yep. Yeah, got the pilot, got the music and all that kind of stuff. Um just workshopping it and planning it at the moment. But what I f when I tell people about it

I I feel the need to follow it. I I anticipate them going, Oh, right, here's another podcast. Like I have to go. I actually do this other podcast. We've been doing it for a very long time. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like I feel like I need to say

We don't have a lot of listeners, but we've got a lot of episodes. But we did was like one of the early ones. You know what I mean? Like it was back when there were just two cans and a piece of string tied together and Brady and I were doing it. Now everyone's doing one, but we've I've actually been doing it for quite a while now and it's you know So you feel a kind of you feel like you're being looked at by the guy at the tip.

when you say I'm working on a new podcast, he's like, See you in a few weeks, mate. I'll I'll save a spot for you here in the bin. That's right. Yeah, yeah. That's it is I wonder if we're reaching in this new media, you know, peak podcast. But anyway, this will also be a radio show. So it'll go out to um

Kind of ordinary people as well as podcasting listening people as well too. Um but it's funny that I feel the urge to say that, you know, that I do the unmade podcast. I know what I'm doing. I know what I'm doing. You know, I'm kind of a big deal. In the unmade podcast world, yes. You have a high profile. Do go that's right. Speaking of which, speaking of our listeners, shall we retire to the request room?

and do that little bonus show we do for Patreon listeners every week. What was go back just before we go on from your idea there, what was the what was the name of it again? How did you say A chosen one? Oh right, okay. Yeah. Okay. No that that that does work, I think. Eh it's not the best title. I don't I don't think we're there yet. It needs more workshopping.

But I at least I think you're kind of getting the idea. And of course you then have to pick one that has a story to tell. Yeah. Um but almost by definition there'd be a story to tell. For example, we don't know anything about the iceberg that sank the Titanic. Um and we don't know much about uh the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs, but

You could still tell a story. There's enough information out there for you to be able to tell a story. So Yeah, there is, yeah, yeah. Where it was, what location, at what time of night, was it part of a broader thing? You know, that kind of thing. Yeah. There is there is a photo. There are photos doing the rounds and there's one in particular that that they think may be the iceberg that sank the Titanic.

What, that it's still around? Surely it's surely ice melt and change and not still around. Not still around. It was taken at the time during like those few days afterwards around the, you know, when they were doing rescuing and all that sort of stuff. Oh, okay, yeah. Um Hm. Did it have a bit of paint on it and steel or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something like that. Yeah. All right. Anyway.

Uh requestroom, Patreon.com slash unmade FM. We're going to go and answer some questions that have been submitted by stakeholders. Thanks for listening, everyone. See you there.