171: An Amazing Episode

How can you possibly have bed hair? We're recording at the other end of the day. It's the end of your day. Have you had that hair all day? No, it's funny you should say that, actually. So yes, for people listening... Normally when we record, it's morning for me and evening for Tim. We've reversed things today very rarely, so it's evening for me. Tim's fresh out of bed.

Funnily enough, just before we started recording, I looked at my hair and I thought it looked a bit flat and rubbish. So I just sort of put my hand through it. And I quite like this kind of dishevelled. kind of sexy, just-got-out-of-bed look. I think it's better than what it looked like a minute ago. You've got a bit of a quaff, sort of like...

You know, that English Morrissey James Dean quaff. Wow, I'm taking all of these as compliments. I was about to ask about your hair, and I will in a second, but while we're on the subject of my hair, I have to say, my hairdresser... probably one in every four haircuts gets it wrong.

he kind of cuts my hair wrong around the part area and I'm going through one of those wrong cycles at the moment, which I've been finding really annoying because when I comb my hair either side of the part, there's a few strands on...

what should be the short side of the part that he's left long and they kind of hang over in a weird way. Oh, no. It's just something he gets wrong occasionally, but I just kind of accept it. That's part of... life with this hairdresser you would have thought a good part was hairdressing 101 actually i remember as a kid when because dad was a hairdresser

listeners may or may not be aware, and he used to cut my hair. And the part he told me was to allow your knits to find their way home, like it was the highway or the path up through your hair to allow the knits to know where to go. Like head lice. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Nice. Everyone sort of navigated. It's their north star of your head to find their way. Okay. Right. It's there. All right. You are freshly shorn by the looks of it. Oh, this is a super.

Close haircut, yeah. I got sent a photo from church yesterday. to do with something else and my head, the back of my head was in it. And I went, oh my goodness gracious me, look at that guy who's freshly enlisted in the army. It's just very short at the back. Very short for you. It actually highlights as a little bit of a...

Recession going on there, I can't help noticing. There's a lot of recession. It's going way back, and I don't mind that because there's a nice sort of shape to it. It helps the head lice. There's a lot of foreign. It gives an oval for the headlife to play in. Nice. Going a bit shorter, I think, evens it out a little bit. You know what I mean? Okay.

Thought you might try the sneaky, daring haircut while the wife's away. What do you mean? Like trying a different style just to see how it's in preparation? Yeah, just in case if it goes wrong, you're not going to get too much grief. No, I think she's always been on to me about...

having shorter hair she goes you look really nice with short hair whereas i always like having a bit of hair that i can throw around a bit like you but scruffy sort of james dean look you know which we are but i think this amount of foreheads moving me into um sort of 90210 territory to be honest the Brandon and Dylan kind of extended for it I just need a few more wrinkles on the brow and I'll be moving into a nice Dylan territory here

Got some parish notices, Tim. In the last episode, you remember I had this podcast idea which were the wrong words, words that I think aren't fit for purpose. They just don't suit what they mean. Yes. I had a lot of feedback about this. A lot of people got in touch with words they think fall into this category, so I thought I'd share some of them.

We've tapped into some angst, have we? Some inner frustration that people have been feeling? We have. We've hit a rich vein of listener feedback. Right. I think they call it in the business. Right, right. Nice. Okay. That's what Paris News is all about. It's all about engagement. Fan engagement, yeah. We like a bit of engagement. We like a bit of... user generated content. Right. From our stakeholders. I'm going to start with a few that particularly struck a chord with me.

The first one comes from L285, and I was sure this word was on my list, but maybe, I think I must have written it somewhere, but maybe I didn't mention it, but I totally agree with this one. Salubrious. Salubrious. I'm not sure I could say what salubrious means. I wouldn't have felt comfortable either. That's how wrong this word is. Because salubrious actually means, like, healthy. Oh, right.

If something is salubrious, it's healthy and good. But I think salubrious sounds bad. Like it should be like a brothel is salubrious or something like that. I was about to say something that's been doused in coconut oil. Salubrious, you know what I mean? Oh, there you go. Yeah. So, ooh, that's a salubrious establishment. Sounds like dodgy, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah.

You know, people tell those stories where they have those houses and they have either on the stairs or a banister, there's, you know, there's bars. And every now and then, like a kid will like put his head through the bars and get stuck. And so they're like, oh, we had to like down.

him with soap and oil. We had to make him all salubrious in order to get his head out again. You know what I mean? Okay, well, you definitely had a picture for salubrious. Here are two more I agree with. These come from... Fuji killed the DSLR, who sent in a few, but I've just picked these two. Right. Benign. Benign. Benign. I've grown comfortable with benign, I have to say. I use benign.

uh regularly but i think but i think i it was a learned use like i don't think i used it i think i went oh it means that oh okay so i better use that it didn't feel right for a while but for a couple of decades now benign has has sat comfortably in my stable

I think if I went and saw the doctor and they said, Brady, we've had a look at your tumour and we found that it's benign. You'd freak out. Like for the longest time I would have thought, oh no, oh no, it's benign. Benign sounds like it should be bad to me. Benign. And another one, gregarious. Oh, right, okay, yeah.

Which obviously means someone's quite sociable. But Fuji says, it feels like it should be similar to scandalous or off-putting, some kind of negative adjective, gregarious. I agree. Gregarious doesn't sound what it means, like sociable and... Outgoing. Remember in the 90s, there were those gregarious chants, that music that was around from those. Gregarious chants. Very good. Here's one from Craig. I also agree with this.

The word livery has always sounded wrong to me. I agree. Yes, yes. I was watching Formula One yesterday thinking what a weird word livery is for... What is it, the paint work? Yeah, the paint job, usually on an aeroplane or a branded vehicle. Craig says, I get that we should have a word to describe this thing, but livery has just never sounded right. And I agree. Livery. I wonder what's going on there. Like it's a liver? Bizarre. I don't know.

I don't know. Katie says that she always gets tripped up by the word impunity. It sounds like punitive, and it seems like it should mean getting in trouble or being punished, but it means the opposite, impunity. like something is imputed to you, like a guilty verdict or, you know what I mean? Is that right? Well, no, impunity, if you do something with impunity, it means like, you know, kind of almost like you can't get in trouble for it, like a kind of a...

No, that's immunity. No, no, no. Impunity kind of means that too. In a different way, not immunity, but let's have a look at the dictionary. exemption from punishment or freedom from the injurious consequences of an action so i took tim's ice cream with impunity meaning i knew i was going to get away with it in christian theology like christian belief there's this idea that Jesus has taken on our guilt, right, and paid the price for it and has imputed to us righteousness.

It's imputed to us. It's given as a free gift. Well, I think that's different because it sounds like that's different because it sounds like you're saying impute with a T, whereas impunity is I-M-P-U-N, impunity. So it might be... They might be two different things. I'm not sure. Well, that means he would be imputing impunity. Maybe. I've never heard the word impute, so I don't know that word. Bobby raised the word condone.

I hate this word. It's too similar to condemn for me to ever remember on the first go. Andreo. says, all the wrong words are of foreign origin. For us, speakers of a Latin language, most of them sound okay. What's really, really wrong with English are phrasal verbs. And Andreo uses the example, what is the up in shut up?

or break up. It makes no sense. So Andreo doesn't like the up, the way we use up in shut up, break up. I don't know what Andreo's native language is. They didn't say, but... That's a good point. We're closing up for the day for a shop. Yeah? Yeah. Shut up because we're closing up because I just had a breakup. Indeed, yes. Very good. Thomas.

Pulchritude or pulchritude. I've seen this word written before, but I don't even know how to pronounce it because I've never used it. Apparently it means beauty, but it's certainly not a beautiful word. Pulchritude? Pulchritude? No. Sorry if I'm saying it incorrectly. James doesn't like sublime, as in, you know, something that's excellent or awe-inspiring. I don't mind sublime.

I'm okay with Sublime. I'm okay with it, but James doesn't like it. James thinks it sounds meh, subpar, underwhelming, fleeting. Not what it actually means. I guess because it's got sub in it. Oh, indeed, yeah. So subpar, it sort of infers that. Sublime, it's one of those words, though, you don't want to use too often.

You sort of hold it back and use it every now and then. I tell you what I find a little bit annoying at the moment. I see a lot of very strong words used very casually. So the other day I was dealing with... a person on the phone and i was sending them some documents this was a bank situation and uh and they said oh could you please send me through xyz and i said oh i've actually done that i've done that yesterday and her response was in monotone amazing right

You know, like instead of, oh, thank you, it was like amazing. And that sort of casual amazing, I've heard a few times. And I have to say, it does tend to be females. They tend to... It's sort of like, yeah, no, that's called amazing. Yep. So instead of thank you, acknowledged. So instead of a very neutral word, acknowledged, it's like amazing, phenomenal. Amazing. Can I say, speaking of things that are sublime and amazing.

Remember when I played that tennis shot, the shot of the century, and we made quite a big deal about it, or I did? I had an oil painting made of it, yes. Yes, you did, yeah. I played a shot on Thursday that was even better. Oh, no way. It was such a good shot. that after I played it, I literally dropped my racket and ran around like I'd scored a football goal. It was amazing, man. It was amazing. Sublime. Sublime. It was sublime.

Is it the kind of shot that you can describe to us without us falling asleep? It was a shot of very high pulchritude. Right. Oh, I'm sorry. In a nutshell, I was right up at the net in a game of doubles. The ball was whacked at me really, really hard, and I was going to try to volley it, hopefully. It hit the neck cord and flicked up out of my range. I reacted with cat-like reflexes.

Right. I somehow got my racket on it, got it back over the net at an insane angle. It bounced on the other side of the court and then spun back into the net. So it would have been impossible to hit back because it spun back into the opposite side of the net. It was amazing.

This is sounding a little bit like basically a ball was hit at you, it bounced off you and did some crazy spins. No, no, no, no. It was my reactions. They call me the ninja because of how quick I am at the net. Right. And this was even more ninja-like. Even by my standards, this was the ultimate ninja shot. Did you have to reach to the left or the right or turn around to reach the ball?

No, it was to my right. It was on my forehand side. It was very low and then kicked up. So I was like at net height. I was holding the racket at net height and then I ended up hitting it more like at eye height. Okay. So one more question. If you, if you, if you had taken a photo at the precise moment that you were hitting the amazing shot and the ball was just leaving the racket, what, what, what would the statue be? Like what would the statue? Maybe not that flattering.

It probably wouldn't have been a particularly graceful pose now that I think about it. Were you on one foot leaning forward like you were... Pretending to be a teapot. It was just such an unusual shot. It did so many unusual things that I couldn't help but celebrate it. Like, jokingly, but I couldn't help it. Like, you know, we all hit good shots and bad shots, but this one I've never hit a shot like it. Like, it just.

because it came off the net cord. I reacted. It went on this crazy angle. It spun back into the net, which has always been a bit of a dream of mine to hit a shot with so much spin that it spins back into the net so they can't even get to it. It just had everything. It had everything. Have you named the shot? Has it been known as a particular shot around the club or around the town? Not yet. Not yet. And it was also a point to win the game as well, which is always good too. Oh, right, yeah.

And it was a change of ends, so you could literally come off the court with the shot. So it had a bit of everything. If you were to name it, what would you call it? Would it be like the backspin Harren or something or the backspin Brady? Reflex double slice backspin jag. Sounds like a diving shot. Yep. You said it, man. You said it. Quick, just quickly, gravity tortoise. Oh, yeah, right. So...

Yeah. Fair call. But I think we learned pretty early on to adjust for that. But that's a good call. That's a good call. It's a problem. Quite a few people emailed in saying they had problems with the word terrific. which I have no problem with, but a lot of people don't like terrific. Terrific's great. It's fun and whimsical. It's wonderful. I think maybe if English is your second language and you associate it with terror and things like that, I don't know. yep yep um terrible yep and lastly uh

Techno Music said, I always thought the word rigid felt wrong. It sounds like it should mean bendy or flexible, but it's the opposite. Like when someone says a material is rigid, to me it sounds like it should be bendable. No. Not a problem for me, but... No. Techno music, you're entitled to your opinion. Rigid is a rigid word. I'm not being flexible on my perspective on that. Ideas for a podcast? Got anything, Tim?

Absolutely I do. My idea came when I was sitting in a medical facility a little while ago. I had a virus a few weeks ago. I had to go and get tested. And I went into a place that I hadn't been really since COVID, one of those sort of places where all the chairs are spaced far apart and you go in and have someone jab something up your nose. But as I was sitting there waiting, I was just looking.

around at the sounds and the smells and the feel the tv and all the rest of it and i was thinking i've spent a lot of time in this kind of facility in fact i think i may have spent more time in medical facilities facilities taking care of my dad and because of my children and because of covid than any other kind of facility and it has a certain sound and feel to it

And I started thinking about other facilities, and this podcast is an exploration of the rhythms and the sounds and the nature of facilities. It's just called Facilities. Facilities. Hmm. Okay. Yeah. It's nice. Nice. I can see potential here. Can I just ask you a question? Do you think you've spent more time in hospitals than sports stadiums? Oh, definitely. Yes. Right? Yes. Schools? Oh, well.

Yeah, no, that's, well, because I worked at a college, so there's tertiary for institutions. I guess institutions is another name that would work with this. I've gone with facilities, but institutions.

Obviously, I went to school, so through that period of life, that was the most prevalent. Okay, here's a fairer one, because schools is a bit unfair, because of course you went to school. What about, have you spent more time in medical facilities in your life than... religious facilities churches oh no i think i've spent more time in um church

Yes. I've been to church pretty much every Sunday. Obviously worked at churches during the week. Yeah, but I'm not counting work. I'm just meaning during service time. Yes, because you probably clock up an hour or two a week in church, but then you can spend... You know, if you have a big medical week, you can clock up 20, 30, 40 hours in a week. Well, that's true. Yeah. There's certain periods, like when our children were born, they were premature and we were going in.

To visit them. And we were there a lot of the day, every day, for months, each of them. Yeah. Well, you racked up a lot of hours then to burn up against your... church hours and then when my dad was ailing because of his heart very famously he lived and lived and lived and lived but he um was forever in emergency so even just being at flinders medical center which is a hospital here in adelaide

I've spent a ridiculous amount of time. When I go and visit, it's like, well, here I am again, just sitting there with Dad waiting to see a doctor. The hours I spent. This is... Pre-phone, pre-iPhone era, I should say. So this is when you're at the mercy of whatever magazine is laying around. Did you just read Smash It's magazine? Yeah.

No, there were just new ideas laying around and Woman's Day and all these. This is where I boned up on the royals to such a ridiculous degree because there'd be a picture of Princess Diana coming out of here or being on some island or whatever. Unbelievable amounts of royal information with a bit of celebrity stuff. I've spent a lot of time in universities, a lot of time in science labs. So talk me through your idea. What does an episode of this podcast look like?

I mean, there's the obvious things, what equipment's there and all that kind of stuff. But there's a certain mood and feel and rhythm to different. I think institutions might even be a better title for this. Facilities might be a better title. Institutions might be more accurate.

I'm thinking about prisons as well. There's a certain rhythm to them. They have an ambiance. They work in a particular way. And they're pretty similar all around the world. But who's our guide? Who's our narrator? Who's holding our hand through this journey? Well, I guess someone who's good at observing and talking about... It could be a sociologist, a really nice sociologist who's walking us through and talking about... But it's an outsider. It's not like a prison guard.

or telling us about the prison or a doctor telling us about the hospital. It's an outsider observing. I think it has to be, yeah, yeah. Someone who can give us a little bit of history as well of how they've changed, but there's also a... Then they can have a range of... guests that talk about them so for instance in our in our church we've got someone who's a an architect who specializes in airports yep

He just knows airports unbelievably well, how they work, the work, the people flow, the design. And it's so fascinating to have someone and do a deep dive conversation just into one particular kind of...

I guess that's a facility and how it works. And whenever I fly interstate, like the other day, and I was saying, I love how they've turned the security around into that direction now because it works so much easily. He goes, yes, I saw the plans for that. That was a really good idea, wasn't it? Just in the Qantas lounge. of this and so that's

I think that's fascinating having little guests come in and talk about why did you go with making it look like this? Like, why is a colour scheme chosen in a hospital, for instance? And why are prisons set out the way they are? And what's the latest...

just thinking about the best way to set them out and why they're chosen in that direction. So it's kind of a lot of it's to do with like design and flow and management and that more than just what it smells like or what it feels like to be there. It's about the...

I think it's about all of it because I think... The feel of it. I mean, the unmistakable feeling of walking into a hospital. There's a certain smell. There's a certain mood. The reception desk. People are talking, but they're not too loud. There's music. Why are we playing this music? Why is no music being played? There's something I want to unpack about that. I was just suddenly aware of my surroundings. Why is it always the worst television that's on in the waiting room?

Why not put something nice on like a nature documentary? Why are we watching such bad television? Rubbish commercial television. You mentioned hospitals. Let me ask you this. Obviously, you spend a lot of time in hospitals through your dad's... medical issues uh you've been there for happy times no doubt

birth of your children, times of trepidation when your children were premature and therefore there was a lot of, you know, vigil type stuff. I guess a lot of the time you go to hospital, it's for negative reasons, most of the time probably.

What's your emotion when you walk into a hospital? Do you carry any baggage because of all that? Does your heart sink? I know you must go to hospitals a bit for your work as well, probably, as a minister and someone involved with pastoral care. Does walking into a...

hospital and that smell that hits you and that feeling that we all know of a hospital have a particular effect on you my first feeling is familiarity like here we are i know this place well you know like that's not the case in a prison right So you're walking in, it's like absolute familiarity.

It's not negative. I like the fact that it's kind of clean, you know, it's kind of organized. There's lots of both kind and professional people here. So it's a really, it is a, it's a marvelous kind of, you know, locality.

compared to, say, walking down a dark alley, you know what I mean, off Hindley Street or something. Yeah. So it's familiarity. I do feel comfortable in the environment. You feel like you know where you're going. Like I said, when I walk into Flinders, that particular hospital, it's like...

memories come fading back, you know, the infection in my hand in 1996 and all those kinds of things. But it's not as bad. Like, obviously you don't associate it with death or any of those traumas that have happened in life. No, no. You put them to one side. It doesn't trigger negative feelings, no. In fact, they're largely positive, even though...

It's sickness, and I'm often going to see someone nowadays who is in an ailing way. It's about connection and concern. That's what it is. It's a place where people are caring for one another. So there's a general feeling of positivity about it, I reckon. I'll tell you one thing I also love. I love hospital cafeterias. Yeah. There's just something old-worldly about, like, you know how I've often talked about have cafes and...

coffee shops and so forth, are becoming far too cool and trendy. And the more trendy they get, the less comfortable the furniture and the more clangy and loud they are. Well, cafeterias in hospitals are the exact opposite. You can get like a nice, yummy meal. kind of traditional meal cup of tea cup of coffee and it's all and the furniture is dated and worn and it's all a bit crap and that is really lovely like reassuringly so i like

Hospital cafeterias. It's a nice idea, man. Lots of potential. Hospitals, prisons, petrol stations. Yes, yes. Police stations, fire stations, nurseries, garden centres. You know, you name it, you name it, we can do it. Theme parks. Theme parks. Well, that is a different type of institution. Playgrounds. Playgrounds and institutions.

Local sports clubs, like the tennis club where I go or cricket clubs I've been part of, like that building they have where they have like, you know, a bar and some trophies and some old photos and changing rooms and that. Yeah. And when I go and play like tennis league.

league matches and going, seeing all the other clubhouses. I love sports clubhouses like that. They're good. I love it. Yeah. I tell you, I've been to yours and ours is exactly the same. I think they're all exactly the same. But all subtly different as well. Yeah. Well, the hilarious thing, of course, is they're quite traditional and conservative. So they've got on the wall, I'm sure you have this, is we have former champions of the club. This is in the Kidman.

Club rooms, ours are called. But all these champions, they're all in suits. So all these football players, beautiful photographs of these legends. And we all turn up in our sort of Saturday, you know, track suit. kind of t-shirt-y mopped hair kind of, you know, awful-headed ass faded clothes and just chat around and have a beer and play some tennis. And we look on, all looked over by these states people of the past.

Good idea, Tim. Good podcast idea. Facilities, institutions. Each week, a deep dive into the places we're so familiar with and seeing them in ways maybe you haven't seen them before. Good stuff. Good stuff. I like it. I'd have a listen. Thank you very much. Like the request room, would you say the request room is an institution? It's an unmade podcast institution.

It is. There won't be one today, by the way, but I'll explain that later. There is a reason there won't be one today. Well, I feel a sense of loss already. Yeah. Well, you know, it's for good reason, though, and I will explain. It's tied in with my idea for a podcast today. But before we do that, there's another little institution that we love here on the Unmade Podcast. It goes by the name...

All right. Now, Tim, I know you, as with everything on the Unmade Podcast, you've put hours of thought and preparation into this segment. You've been studying tirelessly, choosing the spoon after hours and hours of careful consideration. What spoon did you pull out of the bucket 10 seconds before we started recording? Man, this is a wonderful spoon.

I've long appreciated the schoon. It's handsome, but the place has a wonderful significance for us. The spoon today is from Fort Queenscliff, which up until I Googled it, I thought was... Port Queenscliff because of my eyesight. You couldn't even read the Queenscliff. You had to send me a photo of it to tell you what it said, what the word was on the top of the handle. But I've Googled it and it turns out that Fort Queenscliff is a Queenscliff.

I know Queenscliff. Queenscliff is down sort of the coast further around the coast of the bay near Melbourne. near Geelong, if you've ever heard of Geelong, Ocean Grove down that way. Beautiful place. So this is an ocean town in the state of Victoria, not far from the capital of Victoria, which is Melbourne.

which is melbourne that's exactly right it's a wonderful it's actually a really wonderful place it's where melbourneites go or melburnians as they're called go on holidays uh you go around this way most if you've got a bit of money you go around the other side of the bay around to port sea and to sorrento but if you're a regular person you you come down this side of the bay down past geelong and uh and to ocean grove barwin heads and to queens cliff

And let me tell you something about Queenscliff. It has the best fish and chips in the world. Wow. Absolutely magnificent fish and chips at Queenscliff. Okay. Magnificent. If you're down that way, I can't remember the name of the place, but we know the place and we go there every time we're passing through because their fish, their chips are sublime.

Sublime. Wow. Sublime. And I don't use that word very often. Amazing. So, this spoon has... a picture an enameled picture on the handle of Fort Queenscliff and some fort like structure is that like a landmark of the town you're familiar with is there this this fort there why would you have to build a fort on the southern coast of Victoria

Who's going to invade you? Tasmanians? Yes, Tasmanians could. Tasmanians are arcades. Yes, that's right. Very adventurous New Zealanders. I can't think of a place less in need of a fort. On the coast of Australia. And this is a fort for some other reason. No, it seems to be. I don't remember ever having been to the fort. I must have.

But I have no memory of this, maybe when I was a little kid. But it is an inlet. I mean, if you wanted to attack Melbourne, this is the way you've got to come in, right? So you would have to come in through the south, and there's not much south of Australia apart from... Antarctica so it's a strange way to come because we are very famously down under and this is like the most southern city apart from the island of Tasmania but still

You know, during wartime, you guard your big cities. It dates from 1860 when an open battery was constructed on Shortland's Bluff to defend the entrance to Port Phillip. Its garrison included volunteer artillery, engineers, infantry and naval militia, and it was manned as a coastal defence installation continuously from 1883 to 1946. Right, so right through to the end of the Second World War.

But it seemed to have been built before the World Wars then, back in the 1960s. Oh, yeah. There's quite a battery there. There's a bunch of cannons and all that kind of stuff, none of which are on the spoon. But a primary building is on the spoon. and it's got that wonderful sort of ochre sort of color

reddish sort of brown, but it's quite faded, the spoon. It has a ye olde feel to it because it's all kind of a bit musty and stuff, like it's gone rusty on the inside. And this has obviously been picked up by Mr Hine on some family. holiday around that neck of the woods when you were living in victoria i would suggest mrs hind oh this is more mrs hind's you know part of the country man do you have an idea for a podcast

Well, as a matter of fact, I do. We've talked before on the podcast, I believe, about advent calendars. I'll just do a little reminder to people about what advent calendars are, if you're not familiar with them. These are traditional items.

They used to be quite nice and traditional, even a little bit religious. They've now become commercial items. So I'm going to talk about them in their more commercial context. And an advent calendar is something you typically buy for yourself or for someone you care about. As a gift, you give it to them at the start of December. And there are little doors or little boxes you can open. There are 24 of them that you open each day in the build-up to Christmas. And in each compartment...

is a gift, a small gift for the person who is the recipient. So for example, most years I will buy my wife a cosmetics advent calendar from a... famous UK brand and each day through December she'll open a little door in this big box and there'll be a nice lipstick or a perfume or a candle.

I sometimes will get a Star Wars Lego advent calendar. Right. Each day I open a little door and there's a little Lego man or a little Lego thing I can build. They've become a very commercial item now to, you know. Well, I don't know. You know, the sort of gold, frankincense and myrrh. There's a little bit of the cosmetic element.

to the gifts that were given to Jesus at this time of the year. Less so the Lego. The original advent calendar. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, I think most people are probably familiar with advent calendars. Tim, have you ever had an... advent calendar in your life? Only very recently.

I was not aware of Advent calendars. It's not been part of my childhood tradition. But as they've become a bit more prevalent when our kids were young, I think at one stage we once had one up in the house and I would constantly forget to open the...

little doors and stuff so it's not ingrained in me in the way that it's become for you advent is ingrained in me but not advent calendars when i grew up with them as a little boy they weren't presents it was just like a piece of cardboard with little doors on it and you would just open a door

each day from the 1st to the 24th, and there'd just be like a picture of a star or a baby Jesus or a candy cane or something. They would just be little pictures. Right. It would just be a little ritual for each day of Advent, which is probably where it all, you know. originates, of course. But now they're associated with these commercial items and gifts. So here's my idea. Here's my idea for a podcast. It's based on that. I want to do the ultimate fantasy advent calendar, right?

A fantasy advent calendar. An ultimate fantasy advent calendar. And this is how it's going to work. Because we're going to do this idea, Tim and I. What we're going to do is for each day of December, we're going to release a mini podcast. in which Tim and I each give each other a gift. But it's not going to be like a little piece of Lego or something affordable. It's going to be peak fantasy ultimate. This is what I want to give you, Tim.

If I had almost unlimited funds and incredible negotiation skills and all of these things, this is what I'm going to give you today, Tim. And then Tim will say, this is what I'm going to give you, Brady. And these can be just outlandish. out there ideas. But there are kind of rules to this. Obviously we're not going to buy or actually give any of these things because they're all going to be fantasy. But they have to be things that exist.

And they have to be things that you could conceivably buy somehow or negotiate to buy or obtain. Right. And they can't be too ridiculous. Like you can't say... Brady, I'm going to give you all the money in the world. Right. Because that's like, that's going too far. And you can't say, Brady, I'm going to give you the moon. Yes. Because that's not yours to give, right? And you can't obtain the moon. But it could be like...

The Hope Diamond. Right, sure. You could conceivably go to, I think the Smithsonian has the Hope Diamond. You could maybe go to them and just make some ridiculous offer. You probably couldn't, but let's say you could. So it could be things that you could buy with a lot of money, but the idea is to make them presents that... are suited to the person yes yes so it's not just buying something because it's expensive or ludicrous there's got to be some thought involved because as always with presents

It's the thought that counts. That's right. So for each day in December, we're going to release a mini podcast. Each day. Each day. A new podcast every day. Wow. But they're not going to be on this feed. worry we're not going to clog up your uh your unmade podcast feed they're going to be on patreon right and they're going to be on the request room feed so if you get the request room in your

feed on your podcast player. Some of our patrons have figured out how to do that. You'll get them each day that way. Or you can just go to the Patreon website each day and listen to them on the website. They will be patron only, stakeholder only. for each of those days. So each day you can say, oh, what are Tim and Brady's presents today? They'll be very short, just fun little moments. But then on Christmas Day, on the 25th of December, I'm going to...

paste them all together into one big podcast, and I'm going to release that as an unmade podcast so everyone gets to listen, patron or not. You know, we love you all. So on Christmas Day, you're going to hear what we did for this big, fun, fantasy advent calendar. all through December. But if you're a Patreon supporter, you can listen each day and sort of follow it in real time and have the Advent calendar experience.

The fantasy advent calendar experience. The fantasy advent calendar. Yeah, that's right. There are people that make these like for billionaires, there are people that will make custom ones where, you know, on the 1st of December you get a Ferrari and on the... second to get diamond earrings and stuff. So there are people that make these custom advent calendars. That's kind of what this is, but I want this to be next level. So Tim, I want you to use your imagination.

I've been using mine. I've already started my list for you. We're going to release these all through December. But in terms of an idea, I think other people should consider this. Why don't you hook up with some of your best friends or your significant others and... Do your own fantasy advent calendar through December and each morning say, this is what I'm giving you today in a fantasy world.

What are you going to give me? I think it's a fun way to see how well you know your friends and your partners and your loved ones. A fun little game to do. It could be a fun little game to do because there's a bit of a romantic idea of giving something to someone that...

that you can't give. It's a wonderful life. Remember, he's with the girl and he goes, what am I going to give you? I'm going to give you the moon. You can have the moon. There you go. Of course, he's not giving her the moon, but there's this wonderful sort of intention.

of what I'm giving to you. Yeah. I tell you what, I think this is a good idea. I think this is going to be a lot of fun. I know someone who, I'm just thinking of a different way of doing this. I know a friend who's a really great musician. And so when he ever gives gifts... to his partner, he writes a song for her, and she always hates it because she can never find great presents for him, but he can always...

pull out a song and go here's something that i've written for you and it's just like she can't even even if it's written five minutes before you know he looks at her tenderly and sings it and she's like oh gosh got me again you know like this i was just thinking about like a musical advent

where you could write a song for someone every day. There's a new song that they've written for you, which would be really something. Tim, don't write me 25 songs, man. Don't write me 25 songs in my calendar. I hope you're aiming higher for me. There's only so many things that rhyme with Brady. So, yeah, it's going to be fun. Nice. There we go. The Unmade Podcast Fantasy Advent Calendar.

Fantasy, ultimate. I like the word ultimate. I've got the word ultimate stuck in my head, but ultimate fantasy advent calendar? I don't know. I've already decided my first three for you. I've got three already decided, but I've got to come up with another 21. So we're doing 25, are we? Right. 24. 24. Is that what advent calendars normally are or is that what you've chosen?

No, that's how they normally work, yeah. Right, okay, okay, for Advent, right. So 24 presents and then there'll be 24 episodes on the Patreon and then all of them together for everyone on Christmas Day, if you're a...

I want a bit of Christmas Day listening. I'm intrigued. It's going to be fun. So we're not recording a request room today because Tim and I are actually starting work on this project now because we need to get organised. So we're recording our first couple. in anticipation of December 1st, just to get the ball rolling. And also, there is some bonus Patreon content today. And that is another marble run. I've recorded another three marble races with lots of marbles, each one representing...

A Patreon supporter. The winners of the marble runs win prizes. It's all explained on the video. Go and have a look. It was lots of fun to make. I am loving this. I'm spending way too much of my time making these because they are so much fun. Oh, this is the new one. This is in your new workspace, your new office. In my new work. workspace my first recording in the new workspace uh yeah you'll get a little sneak peek at my special marble run lego table

It's all there. I did send it to you, but you were asleep. You probably haven't seen it yet, Tim. I haven't seen it. I saw that it's there, but I haven't. I went to bed early last night. Yeah, it's pretty special. Make sure you have a look. So Patreon supporters can go and check that out. I'm very... tempted to make one of these, maybe this one available to non-patrons too, just so they can see what it's all about. Because, yeah.

It's good fun. Because you've put a lot of yourself into it, I can tell. I've put a lot of myself into it. A lot of my heart and soul. A lot of video editing, a lot of effects, graphics, commentary, everything. It's a big production. It's a big production. Although I showed it to my friend James today. He's not a listener but he knows about the podcast and he knows about my obsession with marble runs and I showed him the video.

And so I'm going to release this to our Patreon supporters. And he said, Brady, I want to get involved. Next time you're doing it, invite me over for the day. I'll book the day off work so I can help you build it and do it and make them and film them. Because he's...

He's on board. Oh, nice. It's pretty magical. You've got a convert there. Would you like to do it if you were over here on holiday? Or if I said, Tim, I've cleared a day of our schedule so we can build marble runs today, would you be like, no? I want to go and see Stonehenge. I would come and look at it. I don't know. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think I would catch the bug like you've got it. I think it's very much a you thing. Yeah.

I do. I think what's cool is not just that you've built this thing, which would be amusing, but I like the fact you've got the camera angles and you've got the commentary and all that kind of stuff. That adds something to it as well. That gives it a level of drama. Yeah. And it's how we're randomly deciding which Patreon supporters win prizes. I like that. I like that it's useful as well. Yeah. Yeah. So it's replacing the old, you know, random number generators and stuff. So check it out.

Go and check it out, people. Links in all the usual places. That is a great reason to become a Patreon supporter, as is our Advent Calendar. If you're not a Patreon supporter, that is fine. We love you too. We do love you. We do. Yeah. In fact, I'm going to write a song about you right now. Hang on a second. Let me get the guitar. If you are not a Patreon supporter, I just want to say you're amazing. Amazing. Amazing. You can't say you're amazing. You just say it's amazing. Amazing.

Very benign kind of way. Amazing. Is people saying deadpan amazing in Australia more annoying than people who when you ask them to do something that's their job, they say too easy? Too easy. I'll have two beers and a packet of chips, please. Too easy. Well, I should hope it's easy. You're a barman. All you do is pull beers and give people crisps. Maybe he's saying it's too easy, like give me something harder to do. That's too easy. Is he like refusing my order?

Like I say, can I have two beers? And he says, too easy. And then I say, all right, can I have two beers and can you balance them on your head? All right, now you're talking. Now you're talking. That's right. Yeah, not too easy. That's easy, but not too easy. Amazing.