90. Unf*cking Your Life: A Deep Dive into Stress, Its Effects, and How to Manage It

I want to talk about stress in relation to your health and fitness journey and also a couple of different things that I am currently doing not an exact relation to stress .

In true Christy Castillo fashion , I'm probably going to go off on a couple different waves here and , you know , related all together , of course , but I want to talk to you in the end of this episode about a couple things that I've been doing more of mental shifts to get through this season , to deal with stress , to change the direction of , like this feeling

stuck and overwhelm that I'm currently feeling in a huge way , and just different things that I am doing to kind of overcome that , and I want to share those with you too . So bear with me as we go in a couple different directions , as usual in these podcast episodes . That's kind of it's funny .

I sat down to and by this point , if you started from the beginning of the Unfuck your Fitness podcast . This is episode 90 , which is so amazing . But if you've been with me this whole time , you've probably seen actually a lot of growth in my podcasting abilities , maybe my speaking abilities , probably my authenticity growing into myself .

I get that a lot in DMs , like wow , you've really changed and like really come into yourself in these episodes on the podcast and yeah , I mean , that's what it's all about growth , right . But I was , I sat down to , I had this topic of stress on my mind and I sat down to make podcast notes about it , which is always a struggle for me .

And today , as I was finishing up my notes which I have a lot of notes for today's episode , sometimes I literally have none and sometimes I have a lot . Who knows if I'll actually look at them ? I'm usually better at just speaking from my heart and talking to you as friends . So that's what I'm going to do .

But this went like so many different ways Once I sat down to kind of start thinking about the topic I started out , you know , thinking about stress of the holiday season and also the stress that we put our bodies through and how , when you are under so much stress , so much stress just in your life or around the holidays , or in regards to our fitness journey .

A lot of times we put so much stress on ourselves , just dieting and workouts and all the things and how that works against us in our health and fitness journey , and I'm going to get into that .

But I notice about myself that like I can't just make things basic , like I don't know and I'll talk about this in a little bit too I'm a Gemini , I am an empath , I love to communicate . That's something that I have discovered recently and like I don't know if it's just that I'm not a very surface level person .

I have recently also discovered like that's a gift of mine I draw people in , I'm a good listener , whatever . People feel very comfortable with me for whatever reason , and I love that . It's a lot of mental toll on me , but I just what I'm trying to say is I like I go deeper with things . I want to know why .

I want to like relate it to you and relate it to me and like not just keep it so surface level . So it's funny that sometimes I try to just talk about stress and the holiday season and then , as I go through this episode , you're going to be like , wow , that got really deep .

But that's just how I am , like I'm here to unfuck your fitness and , to be honest , we can't keep shit at surface level If we're going to unfuck our fitness and ourselves . I mean .

One thing I've learned in therapy over the last two years , however I haven't been going in like six months , but I went for a full year with my husband and then I went for months on my own , and what I've learned is that it's not just surface level , like everything buried inside is what mattered , like it's the little details that actually matter , and so I

think that's just not just who I am . So , anyways , let's get into the episode , because that's a whole other topic . But I just found it interesting that I sit down and I know it's to talk about one thing and then I go into these , you know , full out , deep dives , which I know really relates with you . So I'm not gonna stop doing those deep dives .

I just never know where these episodes are gonna take us . So thank you for being here and welcome to the ride . So this season is full of stress . It is December , we are in the thick of it , right , and honestly , even if it's not the holiday season that's full of stress .

Life is full of stress this season , like seasonal depression , you know the sun's not out as much it's cold , you can't get outside , whatever . That's stressful . So there's a lot of different reasons why this time of year , I guess , is stressful and it's really sad because it's the holidays and it's supposed to be such a happy time .

But I feel like obviously the holidays have turned into like this it's just like events and it's food and it's gifts and yeah , that's part of the holiday season . But I also feel like for me , it sometimes that sucks the life out of things .

If over the last few years , I've realized how important time is and energy and just Different things , and so when I'm buying the gifts and I'm the food and the parties , I'm just like none of this matters , like I'm at that point in my life where I'm just like you .

But I've learned that I personally just need to set more boundaries and say no to things and only do things that bring me joy , because I only have so much energy . I Run low on energy a lot and I have to just kind of savor that . And the holidays are no exception , unfortunately .

But that doesn't mean that just because I've been saying no to things and and Life is simpler now for me . Honestly , the amount of things that I say yes to and I help with and it's minimal . But that doesn't mean that there's no stress , of course .

Honestly , last night I had a friend friend reach out to me and ask how I was doing , and it was very sweet . She just was like I'm thinking of you , I hope you're doing okay , how are you ?

And instead of lying like we normally do and say , oh my gosh , I'm fine , how are you , I was honest and at that moment last night I wasn't feeling terrible , I was just feeling really overwhelmed down . It was like six o'clock in the evening and it felt like 11 o'clock because here in Michigan it's pitch black at 6 pm .

So I was just really overwhelmed with the kids getting home from school and practice and food and the things I hadn't gotten done that day . You know it's that time of day where you're like , holy shit , I need 12 more hours in this day . But anyway , and I just kind of told her like honestly , right now I'm feeling kind of shitty .

I think is what I said . And she chatted with me for a little while back and forth and I , you know , just kind of explained like I'm feeling really overwhelmed and like I'm supposed to be happy it's the holidays and supposed to want to go shopping and do all these things .

But I'm just like , right now anyway , because that's what she asked how are you doing ? And right in that moment I was kind of feeling like shit . She , you know , just encouraged me to slow down and she was like , you know , the holidays , this time of year , is really hard for so many different people , for so many different reasons , and it's okay .

And so we talked back and forth and that was so helpful and I took that conversation into my notes as I was talking about , or I was thinking about , this episode , because I Wanted to let you all know , like , be vulnerable in that sense of like I do have days , I do have moments where I don't want to do anything .

I'm so overwhelmed by my to-do list I'm , you know , it all can just come in on me and overwhelm me life , just like it does you .

And so I want to be open in that sense and let you know that too , and that I generally have these , genuinely have these conversations with friends which , if you don't have friends where you can , instead of saying I'm fine , my day was great , how are you ?

Instead of doing that where you can be honest and just be like I'm feeling like shit , how are you feeling that that's been a huge game changer for me lately is just not having to be fake and not responding to messages that I don't have the energy to respond to .

And if I'm lucky enough to have an authentic friend that's like hey , how's your day , how are you ? And I respond with kind of feeling shitty and they're like hey , I'm here for you all night if you need anything , if you need to talk whatever . Like that was so helpful . So , find some friends , find some people that you can open up to .

And that is a huge game changer because , honestly , that was so helpful to just hear her say hey , you're allowed to feel like that , slow down , and it was super nice . So it's okay to feel stressed , it's okay to feel overwhelmed , it's okay to be struggling and it's okay to be feeling different depending on the day or the hour , like day by day .

Sometimes I'm really happy . The next day I wake up and I'm sad and I don't even know why , and all of that's okay . I'm not going to talk about stress in this episode , like everyone else does , where it's like here's how to overcome stress , or stress is really bad for you and you shouldn't be stressed .

I'm here to tell you that stress is real and , yeah , I am going to help you through it here in this episode later on in a different kind of way , hopefully , but honestly , this time of year is hard , life is hard . All the entire year is hard , right , and it's okay . It's also okay to open up to people .

It's okay to go , you know , tend to your mental health and find a therapist . It's okay to cut people off .

It's okay to be really honest with yourself and dig inside which is what I'm going to talk about later and really narrow down what is going on , what's making me feel stressed and that's actually a lot about what I'm going to talk about in this episode is actually not ignoring it and things like that , and that's something that I've also learned this year and I

want to carry this into this episode . So I do want to talk about stress this time of year and I also , like I have , and I also want to talk about stress in relation to your health and fitness journey . So , in that regard , first , I do want to say that stress will hinder your progress physically .

One thing that I've discovered in a very big way over the last year or few years , honestly for myself , is that I am a very emotional person . Here I go being vulnerable again .

I am very highly sensitive , I am an empath and as I read books and , most importantly , as I explore my own self , as I read books on empaths and highly sensitive people and what that means and what that looks like , it's really been eye opening and that has caused me to explore my own self and my own tendencies not tendencies that I have learned to have or

coping skills or the way that the world has wanted me to be or the way that I have felt like people have wanted me to be , or the version of myself that I have become .

When I really dig deep as to who am I and what are my tendencies and what am I made of , when I really dig deep on that , it really opened my eyes to how highly sensitive and how much of an empath I am and through the years , possibly my entire life .

Up until I realized it , I had a tendency to tuck myself away and to tuck my thoughts and my feelings away for whatever reason , and that caused so many things to happen mentally and also physically , and so I want to bring that awareness to you that if you are not being authentic , if you have situations that you're not working through and you're not leaning into

and you are stressed all of the time , there's different kinds of stress , but it relates to your body the same way , and that was happening to me and I didn't even know it for years , and so one thing that this caused for me certainly was for my body to get sick . It caused autoimmune issues .

I am confident that all of this being tucked away in myself and different situations going on that just happen in your life , my life that I was dealing with or not dealing with caused my autoimmune issues that I was dealing with . It caused sickness . It caused my joints to be unhappy , my body to be unhappy .

It caused digestion issues , it caused leaky gut symptoms , it caused anxiety , it caused depression , which all of these are very physical symptoms . So feeling stressed and hiding feelings and tucking things down so I don't have to do deal with it or I don't know how to deal with it .

All of these things become physical stress for your body , and this is the shit that most people don't talk about , right , but all of these things will affect your health . Obviously , all of the things that I mentioned are health . That's literally your health , and ultimately it will affect .

When you try to lose weight or gain muscle , when you try to change your body composition , when you try to become healthier and more fit , your body will say no , my body and your body .

When you are stressed , my body took all of its energy to use for survival and therefore it shut down parts of itself that it can quote , unquote , do without or use minimally so that it can focus on more jobs .

And that's what your body will do when your body is overwhelmed with sickness , right when your body , when you're running a fever , when you have an illness , your body focuses its energy , which , back then , when I was going through my autoimmune issues , I wasn't feeding myself enough calories to even give it enough , to give my body enough energy to even survive .

And then , on top of that , my body is taking the very little calories that I was giving it for energy to fight my stress . That was literally causing physical harm to my body and it was trying to fight all of that . So my other organs and you know things that my body is like oh , we don't really need to focus on that right now .

We have to focus on this bigger issue . Other parts of your body will literally shut down or be used minimally , and that can affect , obviously , your health and your fitness and your weight loss ability .

There are a lot of people that are just overwhelmed by stress , and you know it can be stress from your diet , or it can be stressed from life and relationships and working , all the things , and it can be all of the above and you're like man , why am I not losing weight ?

And your body's like hello , you're stressed , you don't eat enough , you're not drinking enough water , you don't sleep well what the fuck Like . How am I supposed to give you weight loss when you aren't dealing with any of the things that matter ?

And so let me put it this way if you are stressed , your body will not function optimally and you will certainly not make progress in your fitness journey .

Now I realized that we're all stressed and we're all going to be stressed , and there's not a whole lot sometimes that we can do to get around this , but it is important that you start taking the baby steps necessary to cut down on your stress , right ?

It's not okay to just say I'm so stressed and I'm never going to be healthy and fit , no like , you have to do something about it . And for me , this looked a lot like this last year and years , if you know .

I'm being honest , my physical health , my physical progress even took a hit because I've spent so much time digging inside , which , let me tell you , is exhausting but very important .

So now I want to get into a couple of things that I have been working on , because I could honestly talk about this for probably two hours and I don't want to take up that much of your time . But this is why I consider this journey to be so much mental and not just physical . You can't just work on the workouts and the macros .

You have to dive into so much other stuff and , honestly , a lot of times when people are only focused on the workouts and only focused on the macros , it's because they don't want to , they're scared , whatever it may be to work on that mental part , and so you can't have mental wins without physical wins and you can't have physical wins without mental wins .

It goes together . So , now that we have talked a little bit about stress in the holidays , stress in life , how that stress literally affects your body , and I know that was very surface level . I'm not going to get into the science of everything , but that's not really my place , right . That's not my God-given gift .

My gift is to dive deeper and to really unfuck this for you . So I hope the beginning part of this episode was helpful and I can definitely talk about these topics a little deeper , because we're all different . I talked to last week's episode about how fitness is basic . Some of the information is basic and we're not basic beings .

We're all so different , so I want you to take that into consideration , though , as you are thinking about your stress .

Think about how important it is to your mental health and to your physical health literally , that you cut down on some stress and you start setting boundaries and you start saying no when you start digging deeper within yourself , whatever that looks like . If you need help , if you need tools , if you need support , please reach out .

I am all about that stuff , so I just want to let you know that before I move on that I am here for you , and I think it's so important . I have learned firsthand how important that is .

So I want to talk about a few things , like I said , that I have been working on , and these are going to be three things that you can kind of take away and things that you can keep in the forefront of your mind as we go forward .

I want to discuss these things in a way that you can think about these things daily and improve , even if it's little tiny , baby steps every day to be one percent better . It's not like you're going to make the switch instantly and be able to do these three things . I'm certainly not able to do them automatically . It's an constant effort .

But this is really what I'm focusing on right now is number one , awareness of my struggles , of my stress , of my overwhelm , and not just shutting down . I'm also and I'll dive deeper into these I'm trying to respond differently than my habits , than my norm , and I'm also trying to feel my emotions , so they're not stored as stress . So , number one awareness .

You have to be aware of what you're feeling . I'm personally trying to be aware of what I'm feeling and why . Right now , as far as the holidays , I'm feeling really overwhelmed , not necessarily just about the holidays , but I'm feeling overwhelmed in general , and the holidays are part of that and you're probably feeling similar .

And when I really got down to it , I started to think , like why am I feeling so stressed out about the holidays ? I mean , I have to go shopping , I have to do all the things that I do every year . It's fine . And when I really thought about it , my awareness allowed me to realize it's not just the holidays .

It's the fact that I'm trying to remodel a kitchen and plan that I'm trying to get my daughter through her senior year . We have some college visits that need to be planned . She's trying to get a job and that's been a pain in the ass .

We are trying to do we need to do financial aid , we need to do scholarships , we need to do college applications like , and then , of course , she's not my only child . So I have my son stuff going on , and then I have my own work things and it's the end of the year and my client stuff and it's all of that stuff .

So when I really thought about it , I was able to be aware that it's not the holidays that are making me feel overwhelmed , it's that I have a lot going on and I just need to be more aware of that .

Awareness is key , and I also need to start making lists and I need to get the shit out of my head that I need to do so I can start being productive instead of just feeling overwhelmed and stuck . Which leads me into number two is responding differently . I have a habit of feeling overwhelmed and then I get stuck in a cycle .

So I'm trying to stop the cycles that I get stuck in certain habits and certain patterns , that feeling of getting stuck . Where I feel overwhelmed , then I usually just want to shut down and not talk to anyone , not explain how I'm feeling , not ask for help , and then I don't get anything done off my list , no one's aware of how I'm feeling .

Then I'm hiding in the shower , crying and overwhelmed , when I really just need to talk about it and respond differently . So I'm aware of it and I can respond differently make a list , reach out to friends , whatever it is , and so when I feel overwhelmed now I'm stopping in that moment and asking myself why and then doing something else .

This can be related to your fitness journey as well . If you are aware that you are overeating in the holiday season , be aware of that . Respond differently . Throw the food away if you don't want it , eat one and freaking . Stop like .

Respond differently instead of saying , oh , I'm just someone and this has been me the last few weeks I'm just someone who can't eat one cookie , and you know , that's just how I am .

Okay , well , then get the cookies out of the house or just start telling myself like no , I can eat one cookie , and then I can move on Like I'm not someone , who's all or nothing . So responding completely differently to whatever that means what that comes down to is just changing the pattern for yourself . This can be , like I said , emotional eating .

This can be hiding and not doing anything when you feel overwhelmed and putting off tasks . That's me right , so this can look like anything . In any situation where you're , like man , I am feeling stuck , you have to be aware and then you have to respond differently .

Those are two things that I am really working on , and then number three is something that I am working on and I've been working on for a long time , and I'm also kind of working on this with my clients .

This time of year brings up a lot of emotions for people , and I was listening to a podcast earlier that gave the advice that , if you're feeling stressed , to stop , and to stop doing what you're doing and go for a walk or journal or bake or whatever you know .

Just basically turn your attention to something else , doing something you love and doing something good for yourself , and that's great . But when I was listening to that , my first thought was no , and that's me being aware and then responding differently .

And I thought I used to do that when I was feeling stressed or overwhelmed , I would stop what I was doing , not do the shit I needed to do , and then , you know , do something else , and that doesn't help . So what you need to do is feel it and figure it out , and this comes with the emotional part .

I was talking about feeling emotions this time of year and every other time of year , but feeling your emotions so they're not stored as stress , to relate it back to stress , so that you can be aware . If you feel what you're feeling and figure it out , at least feel it and move that through your body . It's not being stuck and stored as stress .

Right , you can choose to respond differently , but you have to figure out what you're feeling first . Your emotions are stored as stress . Your body can feel the feelings that's why they're called feelings . Your body feels them . They're very physical and when we tuck them away , they don't go away .

So I I've been trying to do this , I have been doing this and I want you to do this . I want you to be with your feelings , I want you to sit there , I want you to deal with your shit so that you can move on and you're not stuck in these habits . I'm going to circle this background to a fitness journey and wrap this up .

But since we are unfucking your fitness , of course , I want to tell you that if you don't make that , you won't make progress in your fitness journey . Unless you deal with these things not to get a little heavy here , but also to get a little heavy here If you don't deal with the shit in your head , you won't make progress right ?

So if you have some of this shit to deal with this holiday season , do that . Take a minute , because you're worth it . You deserve it . This is going to help you . This is part of unfucking your fitness . This is part of weight loss . This is part of body recomp .

This is part of building muscle , because your brain is part of your body and your body will start to respond in better ways and you can see the results of your hard work paying off . So if you take anything away from this episode I think you're going to take a lot away from this episode but this time of year , be aware of how you're feeling .

If you're feeling stressed , you're feeling overwhelmed , you're feeling sad , you're feeling mad , you're feeling happy , or it changes from hour to hour , that's okay . Be aware of that .

And then if you're feeling stuck , if it's something negative that you're being aware of , like man , I am just stuck , I'm not moving , I'm not getting anything done , I'm self sabotaging , I'm , you know , telling myself I can't , whatever negative thing it is choose to respond differently .

This will take some time , it's not going to happen overnight , like I said , but choose to respond differently . Notice the pattern , respond differently . This can be a lot of different things .

I think for a lot of you this time of year it's going to be these emotions where you're in the car and you're like man , I am so freaking tired , I am so freaking overwhelmed . I wish I was happier for the holidays . I wish I didn't have so much going on . Stop and think Like really , just let yourself freaking cry .

I am such a crier , I am so emotional and I had a lot of that stored up inside of me . And when I can just cry and say if my husband asks like what's wrong , why are you sad ? And I'm like I have no idea but I just need to cry , like moving that physical feeling out of my body helps me so much . I feel so much lighter .

I can deal with the feelings , the emotions . I can deal with whatever's coming up . I don't always fix it , but at least it's out of me , right ? Don't let that physical stagnation store up in your body and then wonder why you're not losing weight , wonder why you're feeling stuck . So that's all for this episode .

I know that was a lot , I know it was kind of heavy , I know it was also light and fluffy at times , but I really hope this helped you and I hope you have a great week and I cannot wait to talk to you next week .