E108 - The UC Playbook: Raw Vs. Candid Conversation

Welcome to this week's episode of the Uncom communicator podcast , the UC playbook as we like to call it . We will be following up on our interview with Lance Furiyama A lot of great things that we discussed during that conversation . We went in talking generally about raw communication . That's how Lance described his communication style .

I'd never heard of that kind of terminology and trying to understand it a little bit better . I think I got a better understanding after talking with him what he meant by that . What we will do today in the UC playbook is dive a little bit deeper into what is raw communication and also how does that apply to candor ?

I think radical candor is going to be very important to talk about , especially in regards to transferring from the raw communication over to the idea of a radical candor . Raw communication was unique . We had really thought about the definition of what raw communication is . It describes a type of communication that is without finesse . That's what I said to Lance .

I'm like Lance , you have finesse , but it's without finesse , but it's direct . That is probably the only positive description that I could find in regards to raw communication , because the next description is it stings , it creates a tension beyond what anyone normally desires in a relationship . It makes it really sound like this is raw and painful and hurtful .

Then , of course , they ended . This definition was sometimes raw communication can be unexpectedly effective . That may be the case , I think , if you tie it into radical candor . Raw can a lot of times mean unpolished , natural , unsophisticated , simple . Those are a lot of definitions that we would find in describing a raw communication .

If you have a raw communication , you can certainly develop it and build it up . When we dug a little deeper , we began to understand where did Lance come up with this kind of idea of this raw communication ? He mentioned how , where he grew up on the island in Hawaii , they spoke a lot of Pigeon English . I wasn't completely familiar with this term .

The language about North and North Pigeon English is mom . This is a description of it . It is a grammatically simplified means of communication and what that means is when you're in and it's tied to several different locations where they have developed a pigeon language .

Creole sometimes is referred to as a pigeon language , but it's a language where you're kind of mixing words between two different languages and you come up with your own language and terminology and words . And this happens all the time , very much locally , maybe in Colorado , maybe in California , maybe in New York , maybe you go down to the South .

All of these areas have these kind of variations of it . It's not considered pigeon English , but it can appear to be unpolished and especially unknown to those that are outside of that region or that area , so developing in this kind of pigeon English idea . It is definitely an unpolished and could sometimes come across as being raw .

And one of the stories that Lance shared is when he was given a speech . He's working on his grammar , working on his vocabulary , which is always a great thing to do , but you don't want your vocabulary to go beyond what you are comfortable being able to talk like .

And he was in a room when he was sharing the story where he was given a presentation and using some of these words and even himself he realized that this was not him . He ditched it and then he just kind of gave what in his interpretation , a raw example of the presentation that he was given . He just went and was himself with it .

And when you're yourself and that's where we ended up with the UC moment is be yourself . That's the best way that you could ever present . Don't try to be anything else , don't try to be someone else . That doesn't mean that you can't develop yourself and become that better person , but it has to come from a natural state .

So , coming and developing from that raw communication , I wanna turn it to the idea of candor Now in episode 22 , we covered that on the uncommon communicator . I'll put a link into the show notes to that episode where we talked about truth , lies and candor . But this one I wanna dive a little bit deeper specifically into candor .

How can we utilize this in our communication ? And this is something as well that can be developed . Some people who come across unreserved , you think they have this radical candor as described by Jill Scott . But this radical candor is different than just being hurtful and that's what we'll find out here . Now .

Candor is described as unreserved , honest or sincere expression . It's really about the definition says unreserved . I think there is some reserveness that is required in being an effective giver of candor . Another description is a quality of being open and honest in expression . Frankness that , I think , is one of the best words that really describes the idea of candor .

It's often referred to as being refreshing , like wow , some refreshing candor instead of all the sugar , just like when we get in a sugar coma , especially after the holidays . Too much sugar in words doesn't bring any benefit or value . It's too sweet . Now in radical candor by Jim Scott , she calls radical as being far-reaching or thorough .

That's how she defines the candor . We wanna be far-reaching , we wanna dive in , we wanna be as thorough as we can , and the definition of candor is being open and honest in your expression . So in other words , radical candor is the quality of being thoroughly open and honest with others thoroughly .

That's a difficult challenge to overcome to be thoroughly honest , and to be thoroughly honest in a respectful way , like when it comes to work and management . It means balancing the stuff out . You have to be careful in how you give this radical candor to your team members , because ultimately , your goal should be to help them improve .

If your goal isn't to help somebody improve , then your radical candor becomes just your opinion that somebody needs to change . There's seven tips that I'm gonna give you today in talking about radical candor that will hopefully guide you away from being that opinion , from being hurtful , but to go in conscientiously , to be there , to sincerely wanna help somebody .

And first it starts with the key that that individual needs to want to be helped . So that's one of the first things that we need to look at Is this individual open for candor ? Now , radical , candid , radically candid criticism has to be crystal clear . It can't be fuzzy , it can't be just too wishy-washy . You have to be clear about it .

It's easy to say , it's very hard to do , it's very hard to be clear and it's very hard to separate our biases and our emotions out of this . But being clear means leaving no room for interpretation about what you really think . Like , don't be so vague about it that you know you should work on this or that .

You have to be crystal clear , and sometimes you've got to look internally first to know how to be able to say those things clearly . Because if you don't , then there's a good chance you're just kind of diving into your own opinion and there's a possibility that your opinion is wrong . So first be crystal clear about your intentions .

The next thing ultimately , this is the basis of it all . It needs to be helpful . Once you're really clear about what's wrong , you should be there to help somebody fix a problem , fix a situation , fix this circumstance . That's the spirit of helpfulness that is required in really defining true candor . The next thing is you have to be humble about it .

You've got to check your ego at the door . You're not always open to learning . When you think somebody is completely dead wrong , you're not open to it . So you have to be humble about it . You have to go in there with the mind as well . If they're dead wrong and you've got emotions in there , you have to be humble about it .

And you also have to look at yourself . You have to care about helping others do their best work of their careers and by giving them the best answer that you can , and you have to do that in a spirit of humbleness . The other thing that's really important about candor is really about doing it in the right time , making sure that your timing is right .

Waiting and letting something bug you and get to you is not always the right time .

I do believe there's a little bit of patience in there to find that right time , but the longer you wait , the details get muddy and that individual may not even remember whatever you were talking about in providing that radical candor , because those details start to fade with time . So timing is very , very important .

Quicker you do it , the better , and to develop that skill to be able to do that . I tend to overthink a lot of things and by the time I've overthought exactly how I'm gonna say it , then that time has passed and I've missed an opportunity both to build a relationship with somebody and also to help that individual build themselves up as well .

So timing can become very important . Another thing is really to deliver it in person . That's the best way . If you're delivering candor through a text , you just stop right now . Don't do it . Text would be the worst way to do it . The best thing to do is to do it in person .

So much of our communication 90% or above is nonverbal and when you're giving this kind of candor , you really have to read the room , read that individual , to know that you are giving them something that is benefiting them . How are they receiving it ? And you have to be able to read that .

This is a skill and a practice that you have to practice , and if you're being kind and you're being clear , then you can see how this person is reacting to it . You may have to change your approach a little bit and maybe it's not the right time . Of course , this one seems obvious Give it in private . If you're giving criticism , give it in private .

Step out of the way . You don't wanna have a debate in public about something . You wanna step aside and have these conversations with these individuals . It's not about calling somebody out in public . That one seems pretty basic , but do it in private . Don't dress them down in public . It's not about dressing down .

It's about helping and supporting , and it won't be received if you're giving it in public like that . And the last thing is , it's not about personality . So that's about finding out and being clear about your message that you're giving . It's not about you know you're a jerk or you're sloppy or something like that . It's those type of things .

It's not about personality . You have to look . It's about process and function and things like that . You're not there to change somebody's personality . You have to put that aside and then that one , I think , goes along with the idea of ego . Those are things that you have to look at in radical candor .

So a quick wrap up when you're talking about kind of seven tips of radical candor . One be crystal clear , make sure it's helpful . The other thing is be humble about it . Put the ego away , put it aside . Do it as quickly as you can . You do it immediately , that's one way , but do it especially at the right time .

But the longer you wait , details will start to fade . Do it in person and then do it in private . And then remember this , it's not about personality . Those are some great tips that you can take in regards to radical candor . Tine it to your raw communication .

If you are in the world of raw communication and you're looking to develop yourself out of that , remember this and these are the words from Lance is be yourself , make it you , make it you and change is okay . Change in that process , but make it all about that change . Make it about being true to yourself .

So I would take this as this week's UC moment is this Remember that radical candor can bring about effective change in yourself and also effective change in others when presented properly . So I hope you take that with you for this week , and that's all I've got . See you , bye Go .