And that's where you should start, start with the microstep. The thing that might make your day, as shitty as it might be, just that little bit of better, that might just input that little bit of joy. It might be going to your favourite coffee shop, and rather than rushing in and rushing out, taking some time to sit and really enjoy that coffee. Maybe you read a book while you're
doing it. Maybe you just journal maybe you just think about life, whatever it is, but that moment for yourself that maybe what makes you feel lit!
You're listening to, The Triple C Project.
Welcome to The Triple C Project. The podcast that helps you gain clarity, boost confidence, and build courage, so you can live live life lit! I'm your host, Ryan Spence, the BigLaw dropout, life coach, author, speaker, lover of hoodies, hip hop, and big hairy audacious goals. If you're tired of living the life you think you should want, and ready to start living the life you do want, this podcast will help you get, from where you are to where you really wannabe, so now we're
friends. I invite you to grab a drink, take a seat, and allow me to guide you towards living, a life that's lit!
Hey, hey, welcome to episode 42 of The Triple C Project. If you don't know me, I'm your host, Ryan Spence life coach, author of The Triple C Method, gain clarity, boost confidence and build courage, so you can live life lit! And I'm here to help you do that. Live life lit! That's the purpose of this podcast. That's why I do what I do. If it's sounding a little bit different, there's a bit of an echo in my voice right here. That's because this is the first episode I'm recording from
my brand new office. Very excited, calling it my my Zen Den. It's my office and my yoga studio at the end of my garden. And it's beautiful. Having spent time working from a spare bedroom that was absolutely freezing. When I first relocated back to the UK from Singapore as actually working sat on the floor with a laptop on a chair and working in cluttered spaces.
It's beautiful to be in a space, which first of all is just mine is actually just mine and is spacious, is, just gives you that feeling of you know, when you just feel that everything is clear and calm, and allows you to gain that clarity. So I'm really, really pleased about that. I'm not just telling you about this just to show off about my new office. I'm telling you this because it's kinda like a goal. I'm going to talk about goals today, office goals.
That's my goal to have a space like this for quite some time. But the thing about goals and we talk a lot about goals, I talk a lot about goals on this podcast, there's a lot of talk about goals in personal development and coaching is sometimes we can get blinded by the thing, when actually, it's not the thing that we want.
What do I mean by that? Well, goals, goal might be to get that promotion, your goal might be to get that pay rise, it might be to get a house, it might be to get a beautiful office space, like I've just talked about. Those goals are all material goals. They're all a pursuit of a thing or of things. It's not a damn thing wrong with that at all. I love things. I'm bougie as they come you probably heard me say that before. I like
stuff. I like nice stuff. But what I've learned over time, about goals is that it's not the thing really often that we want. It's the feeling that we associate with that thing. So when I was in biglaw, and anyone who's in biglaw knows you, you get a pay rise sort of pretty much every year based upon your pay review example. And there will always be this thing that next year, I'll get a pay rise and I'll feel great. That'll be the goal to get to this level.
And the next year would come around and I'd get the pay rise not always the pay rise that I wanted, which was which is another conversation, but I'd get more money, but that would never satisfy me. I would never be as happy as I thought I would be. And I never really knew why. And I was always chasing the next year the next salary increase, wanting to have more money wanting to be on a larger salary. As many of us were. But getting more money never actually made me happy.
And you may have had this before as well, maybe something that you've you really wanted or something that you've really wanted to achieve. And you've been saying, When I get that thing, when I achieve that thing, that's when I'll be happy. That's when my life will be lit.
And you've probably got that thing, you've probably got a number of things that it is that you wanted that you you asked for. But you never really felt the way that you thought you would feel you probably felt a little bit empty, or just a bit Blah, you probably had that initial burst of yay, I've got it. And then it went away. And you never really understood why.
And the reason is because, again, as I say, it's not the goal. Really, it's not the thing that you want, the thing isn't the goal, I guess, is what I'm trying to say. The goal is what you think the thing is going to bring you what you think is going to give you how you think you're going to feel when you get it. So my question to you is, rather than waiting, rather than putting all of your stock on this external thing, rather than thinking further down the line, that's when
you'll feel happy. That's when you'll feel it.How can you feel that feeling now? You need to live in the present, having an eye on the future. But we shouldn't be waiting for something to happen to make us feel good to make us feel the way we want to feel. And this is something which I often talk about with clients, who initially will come to me and say, Well, if I could just make this happen, that's when I would
be happy. And look, I get that, particularly when you're in a situation that doesn't light you up, when you're in a situation that really just sucks away at your soul. The idea is that as soon as you can escape that situation, you're going to feel amazing. But here's the thing, escaping the situation alone isn't what's going to help you. Because jumping out of one thing into another without doing the inner work to figure out what it is
that you actually want. You're just gonna move, you're just gonna change one bad situation for another bad situation, you're not going to change yourself internally, you're not going to get the thing that it is that you're craving. So you've got to start with where you are right now, in this moment. Starting with yourself right now, ask yourself, How can I get the feeling that I think that achieving a particular goal
is going to give me? How can I feel a little bit of joy now, how can I feel lit now.
And it may be really small. And that's where you should start start with the microstep. The thing that might make your day a shed is it might be just that little bit of better, that might just input that little bit of joy. It might be going to your favourite coffee shop. And rather than rushing in and rushing out, taking some time to sit and really enjoy that coffee. Maybe you read a book while you're
doing it. Maybe you just journal maybe you just think about life, whatever it is, but that moment for yourself. That may be what makes you feel like,
Hey, I'm interrupting myself to give you this short message. Now if you're listening to this part, you're likely looking to change your life. Here's the thing. Transformation doesn't happen by doing what you've always done. It happens when you change your thoughts about what's possible for you. My book, The Triple C Method helps you do that by giving you the tools and strategies to stop living a life of lethargy and start living
life lit. Described as a transformational toolkit and the book I wish I'd had when I decided to leave corporate. The Triple C Method will change how you see yourself and how you live your life.
Available now as paperback, ebook and audiobook read by yours truly, head to iamryanspence.com/book or over to your favourite bookseller to grab your copy today. So you can stop living a life of lethargy, and start living life lit!
That may be the feeling that you can infuse into that day. And once you know what those things are Ah, that makes you feel that way. Rather than waiting for a magical thing to happen to get, you can start to introduce more of those feelings into your day. And then once you get accustomed to feeling that feeling on a more frequent basis, you can then start to make decisions that are going to allow you to feel that feeling more to infuse more of those moments into your day.
So rather than thinking, I hate my job in big law, for example, this particular firm, these particular people, I'm going to move to another firm, because you're focused on the pay rise, the money, the additional prestige of the new firm, you might go to, you may decide actually, I know that getting that money, having that prestige, having that name on my business card isn't really going to make me happy, that's actually not really what I want, what I want is time in my day to
take that coffee break, to go to that yoga class to catch up with that friend, to just sit down and read a textbook once in a while. So then the decision to move becomes different. It becomes not about the money and the status, and the prestige and all the things that you think you should want, that will make you look successful from the external. But it becomes about what will make me feel good inside internally, what will
create my life that's lit. So you're actually going after a feeling rather than a thing. And it isn't even really about chasing feeling what it is, it's about creating the feeling now because once you know how to create the feeling, now, you're going to be able to carry that through. As things get easier as your situation changes, as you find where it is that you want to be, whether that's a new job, a new career, a new location, whatever it is.
But changing the external without doing the work on the internal is going to make no difference to your life at all. It's like when I decided to become a yoga teacher. And I often say that if I become a yoga teacher, without having done the work I was already doing in terms of my own growth, my own development, I would have just moved from being a miserable biglaw lawyer to being a miserable yoga teacher, because I would have been chasing the same signs of success, just in a different
environment. And I wouldn't have done the work to actually figure out what it is that I want. What it is that makes me tick what it is that lights me up.
So without knowing that, I would have just been following the same path I was following before just taking a different mode of transport. So I guess the takeaway from this episode is, when you think about your goals, of course, think about achieving things. Of course, you can think about attaining things. But don't wait on those things. To live the life that it is that you want to try to infuse some of the life that it is that you want.
Don't look at those things as the things that are going to make your life lit as the things that are going to make you happy. Focus on the feeling. What is it that you want to feel every day? What is it that you want to feel on a frequent basis?
And start to ask yourself, How can I increase those moments in my day right now where I am right now, as bad as the situation might be as much as you might hate your job. As much as you might be working in a toxic environment. You have to start looking inside right now. Because just jumping is just going to put you in a different scenario with the same issues the same problems. You've got to do the work internally first.
Sovthat's all I'm gonna say about goals today. A relatively short episode, I think. But I thought it was really important to just share that. Particularly as we're approaching the end of the year, people start to turn their minds to the big goals that they want to achieve in the in the new year and all of that. And I just want I thought it was helpful to put some perspective on that.
I'm all about goals. I think having a goal having a mission is very important but I don't believe in holding off living your life until you attain it. You need to live your life now. So how can you start to create those moments now? How can you start to live lit now? Even if it's only for five minutes a day? How can you create that lit five minutes per day? Okay, that's it for me this week. As I say, I'm loving my
spanking brand new office. And it's, it's beautiful recording here, and future episodes will come from here. And who knows, now that it's a beautiful space, maybe maybe I'll start to record some video and get it on YouTube. Who knows, maybe that's a bridge too far, we'll see.
If, as always, if you would like any support on mapping out your goals on figuring out how you can start to level it now and how you can start to gain some of the autonomy you might be craving. Hit me up. That's what I'm here for. That's what I help people to do. And I love it. And if I say so myself, pretty damn good at it too. You can hit me up at
iamryanspence.com/coaching. Or DM me on Instagram at @iam_ryanspence or over on LinkedIn where you'll start, you'll probably see more of me on LinkedIn now than Instagram. I'm loving me a bit of LinkedIn, making some great connections over there. And yeah, it's a beautiful space to be. So that's it. For me. As I said, I think I've said that already, I have to repeat myself, that this just happens when you don't
script your episodes. But it's coming from the heart, it's something which I feel is going to be helpful to you, which I figured out for myself. And I'm now sharing with you. So you don't have to spend the time figuring it out like I did. Have your goals, but figure out how you can get the feeling that you're chasing right now.
Because achieving your goals isn't going to give you the feeling, not a lasting feeling that you're looking for doing the work internally and figuring out what it is that lights you up and starting to create those moments in your day. Now. That's what's sustainable, that's what's gonna last. That's what's going to give you that life that
slit. So as always, stop living a life of lethargy, go ahead, over the next week, figure out how you can start to create a life and start living a life that's lit! Thanks for tuning in. But before you go, the weight of limiting beliefs is heavy. It literally weighs you down and keeps you stuck in that life of lethargy. I know. It's why I stayed in big law for so long. And it's why so many of my clients don't believe they can do the things that they want to do. Or causes those
limiting beliefs. It's a lack of confidence, lack of confidence in the belief that you can do the things that you want to do. And I've got something for that. It's my confidence journal. It's six journal prompts that I created, that I've used to help me get from where I am to where I want to be, to help to give me the belief to do the things that seem outside of my control outside of what I can do. If this sounds like you, you need to get your hands on the journal. Best thing about it,
it's free. All you have to do is head to iamryanspence.com. Hit the button for confidence journal, and get your copy today. It's going to help you start to reframe your thoughts and get you thinking about what you can do instead of focusing on what you can't do. And shed that load of limiting beliefs that you don't need to be carried. See you again next week. And until that time, stop living a life of lethargy and start living life lit!