They want you to be the same person you were 10,15, 20 years ago. And when you start to grow out of that when you start to change when you start to want something more, something different than what you did before, they lose their shit.
You're listening to, The Triple C Project.
Welcome to The Triple C Project, the podcast that helps you gain clarity, boost confidence, and build courage, so you can live life lit! I'm your host, Ryan Spence, the BigLaw dropout, life coach, author, speaker, lover of hoodies, hip hop, and big, hairy, audacious goals. If you're tired of living the life you think you should want, and ready to start living the life you do want, this podcast will help you get, from where you are to where you really wannabe. So
no we're friends. I invite you to grab a drink, take a seat, and allow me to guide you towards living, a life that's lit! Waht's up? Welcome to Episode 52 of The Triple C Project. I'm gonna start this probably a little bit of a strange opener. But what do Marie Kondo and Jay Z have in common? Weren't expecting that were you?Yeah, well, thought I'd just play around with you a little bit. But trust me there is method in
my madness. So Marie Kondo, if you don't know is She's a Japanese woman who wrote the book, the life changing Magic of Tidying, and also had a Netflix series along the same lines. And she created or invented this method, KonMarie method of tidying and decluttering your house, you only keep hold of things that spark joy and you let things go that do not but you thank them along the way. And it's all about getting your house your space into a place of
order. And to a place of minimalism, almost even down to books, she advised that you basically you get rid of books apart from a small selection that bring you joy. There was obviously lots of people at the time who disagreed with that. But there are lots of people who bought into the method and try to replicate what she was
teaching. There was an article recently, where she said that now now that she has kids, I think she has three kids now that she's actually had to let some of what she was teaching fall by the wayside, and people are losing their shit is hilarious. People are saying she should give refunds, she should apologise. And unlike the one that's got three kids, like we've all said and done she I mean, I know I had before I had kids, I said lots of dumb shit. And then I had kids, I was like,
Oh, okay. But even if you don't have kids, I mean, seriously, could the woman not change her mind. And Jay Z. Jay Z has also been demonised for changing his mind or showing some element of growth. Back in 2000, Jay Z released a song called Big Pimpin, and for some, that's probably one of his, his biggest, it's not his biggest hit. But you go and see Jay Z live and perform that I mean, the place goes absolutely
bananas. It's amazing. But you listen to that song now and you know, it's it's probably not a song you would be making now. But it was it was great at the time, and I still listen to it. It's fantastic. But in 2017, Jay
44. And it was a beautiful album, a very mature album, talking about his marriage, his mistakes in his marriage, his kid, you know, all the kind of stuff you were talking about when you're in your mid to late 40s. As he then was, again, people lost their shit. Jay Z is boring, he's falling off, he ain't no good. What is this shit? Because they still want the man in his 40s to be talking about what he was talking about in his 20s or early 30s. And it's like, no,
that's not how it works. Like changing your mind when you are allowed to change your mind changing your mind shows growth is evidence of growth. And you've probably seen it in your own worlds. I mean, I've definitely seen it in law firms. Somebody is on track. I mean, they've been an associate, they're moving up the ranks or whatever. And then they suddenly start actually Fuck this shit. I don't want to do this anymore. And they leave sometimes quit
law altogether, like I did. And there was some people who are like, wow, who knows they might that's amazing. But there was definitely people out there and you hear them. They will say this out loud, basically saying that the person they couldn't hack it. They're not a team player. They lack commitment, you know, and show them to be flaky to be uncertain of what it
is that they want to do. As if the dreams and desires that they had maybe when they were at law school or back at university should be the same as they have when they've been in their career for 10,15 years. That's like no people grow like, we are never the same person from second to second nevermind day to day or year to year, we are always taking a new experiences new ideas, or we should be if we're maintaining an open mind. And they are going to influence
us in some way. And just because we believe something today, if we're exposed to new information and new research, then we should be open to that. And we should be prepared to change our opinion, if that new evidence that new research proves to us that that should be the case, we shouldn't stay fixed on what we
thought when we were 18. Until we die, we should always be looking to grow to be curious, I say to always see what else is going on and expose ourselves to different situations, Hey, I'm interrupting myself, to give you this short message. Now, if you're listening to this pod, you're likely looking to change your life. Here's the thing. Transformation doesn't happen by doing what you've always done. It happens when you change your thoughts about
what's possible for you. My book, The Triple C Method helps you do that by giving you the tools and strategies to stop living a life of lethargy, and start living life lit. Described as a transformational toolkit. And the book I wish I'd had when I decided to leave corporate, The Triple C method will change how you see yourself and how you live your life. Available now as paperback ebook and audio book, read by yours truly, head to iamryanspence.com/book, or over to your favourite bookseller to
grab your copy today. So you can stop living a life of lethargy, start living life lit! But there were people out there, going back to the examples of Marie Kondo and of Jay Z who don't want that they want you to be the same person you were 10,15, 20 years ago. And when you start to grow out of that, when you start to change, when you start to want something more, something different than what you did before they lose their shit, because they just don't know how to react to it.
And I think part of that is frustration that you are seemingly going beyond where they are. And that's a little bit confusing for them. Either because they just don't understand it, or because they would want to do it too. But they feel that they can't. And this is sometimes what you can hold you back. Because look, we all want to be liked, as much as we talk about not being a people
pleaser. And I'm a big advocate of not being a people pleaser, in the sense of not being a people pleaser, to the extent of lacking commitment to yourself, but we all kind of want to please people, right? No one intentionally wants to go through the world pissing people off well, very few people. So when people do show some, some reticence at our at our changes, and our growth is doing new things. It can lead us to second guess and question ourselves about whether or not we should
be doing what we're doing. And in doing that, we just stay where we are. Even though we may be miserable, even though it's not where we want to be, we end up living a life for the people to make other people happy. And I'm here to say fuck that bullshit. Your life is your life. If you're going to live it for the people, then what's the point? Because you're never going to make other people happy all of the time. There's always going to be a movement of the
goalposts. You do this one thing for them, and then they want more. I sit with my kids, you know, that's what my particular my youngest son asked for one thing and I'm like, Okay, fine, have that. I mean, have one sweet, but I want to. And if you forgive into two, then it's three. If you're going to three, then it's four, though people are always going to want more, you're never going to be able to fully please fully satisfy everybody. So why not start with pleasing yourself? What is it
that you want? Where is it that you want to go? Who is it that you want to be? Because you're going to grow you're going to change anyway, whether you allow that change to come in and seep through your body and sort of affects the way that you see things or whether you put up a brick wall against it, things are going to change or Energy. So you may as well allow change to happen inside of you and embrace and embody that change. So you can live the life you
want to live. Because living your life for other people, is not the way to live life, it is not the way to make yourself happy. And it's not really the way to make other people happy. Because, as I said, never going to be satisfied. So it's okay to change your mind. Just because she wants to something yesterday, doesn't mean you have to want the same thing today. Just because you started to learn one thing. If that's not serving, you go ahead and learn something else. No, I used to
run quite a bit. I haven't run for probably a year now. And I don't feel bad for that. Maybe I run again, one day, maybe I'll get back into it. But I just changed my mind. So I don't want to do this anymore. I want to do something else. So I do. I do other things. And I want you to think about that. When you're going through your transitions in life, your changes, when there's things coming out where you're like, I've been doing this a long time, I should just keep doing it. No, you
shouldn't. If you want to keep doing it, if you feel that it serves you, then fine. But if it doesn't, Why are you forcing yourself to continue? Why are you not allowing yourself to explore other avenues to look at other options to try other things. Because that's what life's about. It's about experiencing all that life has to offer. It's not about picking one line when you're eating and staying in that lane for the rest of your life. Unless that line makes you feel ridiculously
happy. And you could never imagine doing anything else. And for some people, that's true. But for most, I would say it's not. Because as humans, we are complex beings we have we are multi passionate, we have lots of interests, and we have lots of things we want to do. And there's things which you would love to do, which you probably don't even know about yet, which you haven't even experienced,
you don't even know exists. It's like when I left big law, I didn't know that I would end up doing some of the things that I'm doing now, I never thought I'd be a coach didn't know that that was an option. Never thought I'd be teaching at a university, which I've just started doing. I haven't spoken about that. Maybe I'll speak about that on a later episode. Never thought I'd be creating to the extent that I am with writing the book, the posts, this podcast, all of these things I never felt were
possible for me. And so I didn't even know were in my world in my sphere. But I only found out they were by allowing myself to grow and I myself to maintain that open mind and to experience and to try different things. And in doing so I found things that I loved. And they also found things that weren't really serving me and I could let them go. But I tried them. And I knew what was out there. So that's what I want to leave you with this week, it's okay to change
your mind. So whenever you're thinking of changing your mind from doing something, don't let anyone else talk you out of it. There's a reason why that shift is coming to you. So explore that. Take it as far as you need to take it and see what's really eating at you. And if it's a case of just not really fitting steaks, I'm a bit bored. That's
one thing. But if in your very soul, and you're very good, you know, it isn't serving, you know, it's not a path you want to go down, then don't be afraid to change to try something new to figure out a new path. This is all about finding clarity, finding what it is that lights you up. And when you do that, that's what's going to help you move from that life of lethargy towards living life lit! Thanks for tuning in. But before you go, the weight of limiting
beliefs is heavy. It literally weighs you down and keeps you stuck in that life of lethargy. I know. It's why I stayed in big law for so long. And it's why so many of my clients don't believe they can do the things that they want to do. Or causes those limiting beliefs. It's a lack of confidence, lack of confidence in the belief that you can do the things that you want to do. And I've got something for that.
It's my confidence journal. It's six journal prompts that I created that I've used to help me get from where I am to where I want to be, to help to give me the belief to do Do the things that seem outside of my control outside of what I can do. If this sounds like you, you need to get your hands on the journal. Best thing about it. It's free. All you have to do is head to iamryanspence.com, hit the button for confidence journal, and get your copy
today. It's going to help you start to reframe your thoughts and get you thinking about what you can do instead of focusing on what you can't do, and shed that load of limiting beliefs that you don't need to be carrying. See you again next week. And until that time, stop living a life of lethargy and start living life lit!