Month after month, year after year, you do the stand up, sit down dance. And each time you do it, the thought of sitting back down and continuing your journey towards a place you don't want to go, makes you feel unhappy, unfulfilled, and infused, stressed and anxious. But as you can't see an alternative, as you don't have clarity, or where you'd like to go instead, you see no option but to keep going.
You're listening to, The Triple C Project.
Welcome to The Triple C Project, the podcast that helps you gain clarity, boost confidence, and build courage, so you can live life lit! I'm your host, Ryan Spence, the biglaw dropout, life coach, author, speaker, lover of hoodies, hip hop, and big, hairy, audacious goals. If you're tired of living the life you think you should want, and ready to start living the life you do want. This podcast will help you get from where you are to where you really wannabe. So
now we're friends. I invite you to grab a drink, take a seat, and allow me to guide you towards living, a life that's lit! Hey, hey, welcome to episode 54 of The Triple C Project. Before I dive into this week's episode, if you're hanging out with me here, you're really gonna want to join my email list. I gotta be honest, I've been neglecting it a little bit. But I'm back with all the good stuff. What do
you get? Well, not only do you get this podcast directly into your inbox each week, but you're also going to hear stories, some stories are told on the podcast, but I'll go a bit deeper, I will share two strategies. And you'll be one of the first to hear about any new stuff that I offer that I've got going on. And I always have ideas. So trust me, there's going to be a few things happening over the course of
this year. So you're gonna want to get on there to be first head to iamryanspence.com and download the confidence journal, stick in your email, and that will get you on the list. The link is also in the show notes. I look forward to seeing you there on the list. Okay, let's get to it. So, do you like riding on trains, I've been getting a few trades lately. I do love being in my car. But long journeys. So where I live is about two and a
half hours down to London. I like to get on the train, get on, get a seat, get a drink, sit back, do a bit of work, watch a movie, you know, just as they say, let the train take the strain. And I've been doing that a lot lately. Because I if you follow me on social media, you might know this, but ya boys a teacher? Well, a lecturer to be honest, I recently started lecturing at a university here in London in the UK, it was an opportunity that I never anticipated. It's nothing I ever
thought of doing. But I got asked and I said yes. And I'm doing it. And I got to be honest with you, I actually really enjoy teaching. building out the module is a lot of work because it's a brand new module. But actually being able to combine my experience in private practice as a lawyer and my experience as a coach. And to kind of help these law students kind of start to think about making the right decision for their own lives and their own
careers. And helping them develop the skills that are going to allow them to progress in life, whether that's in the way that they communicate, the way that they write, they speak the things that the way that they think, for me is a real honour. And I love it. And this never would have come about if I hadn't put myself out there. So on these trips to London, I do a lot of pondering as well, because sitting on a train, it's a good time to just take a bit of time to let your mind run
free. So I love my weekly trip to London for that. And as I do that, and I've been doing this a few weeks now, it always brings me back to a particular part of my book where I talk about being on the train. And I'm going to share that passage of the book with you. Because I think it will be helpful for you to start to think about things on these lines if you're not doing that already. So I'm gonna read this particular bit here from chapter one, page 26. If you have the paperback.
Think of the train as your career. You likely gone on your career train because everyone told you the same old story. Go to school. Get good grades, go to college or university, start a job, a top law firm or large corporation, and work your way up the ladder. That's life. That's success. And you did that. You had different ideas and bigger dreams. But you were told they weren't realistic, so many times that you believed it.
So you did the right thing, obey the rules, or gone on the train, without seriously questioning whether it was the right train for you. You follow the crowd. And as you saw everyone else rushing for the same train, you figured you must be heading in the right direction. Maybe for you, this was becoming a partner in the law or accountancy firm, a director at a bank or heading up a department at a major
corporation. But as the years have passed, you've slowly come to realise that you don't want to go where this particular train is heading. So you stand up, look around the carriage searching for other people who think the same as you trying to catch someone's eyes to validate your fears. But you notice everyone else is sitting comfortably. You sit back down thinking you must be well, so you should suck it up, stay on the train. Month after month, year after year, you do the
stand up Sit down dance. And each time you do it, the thought of sitting back down and continuing your journey towards a place you don't want to go makes you feel unhappy, unfulfilled, and infused, stressed and anxious. But as you can't see an alternative, as you don't have clarity or where you'd like to go instead, you see no option but to keep going.
No matter how miserable it makes you to sit at your desk day after day, working on matters of no interest, checking from pointless meeting to pointless meeting, knowing the plans you made weeks ago, are about to be destroyed by the urgent deal that's landed on your desk, even though you know from experience that the realistic deadline won't be met. And no one will care. Does this sound familiar? I wanted to share that because as I say, when I sit on the train, this always comes into my
mind. And I love that metaphor of a train. Yes, I know. It's my book, and I wrote it but you can own and love what you've created. I mean, if you don't who will? So it always comes back to my mind. And it's funny, because this week when I was on the trip, I realised that it's three years since I walked out of my office in big law for the last time. And if you told me that, I'd have done all the things I'd be where I am now, I probably wouldn't have believed
you. Because at that time of walking out, I was starting to believe that I could do something different. But I still had no idea what that looked like. And I still didn't have the level of belief and confidence that I have now. But so much has happened in the last few years, that would not have happened if I hadn't developed that clarity, confidence and courage. Teaching at a
university is one. I mean, that, as I said was never on my radar, it's nothing that I ever thought that I would want to do is certainly not something that I thought I would get asked to do. And yet here I am, I could put the title of lecture on my profile on LinkedIn. And he did that. I never could have foreseen that. Not in a million years. But that came about because I put myself out there. I knew what I wanted to do what I wanted to achieve. And I
believed that I could do it. And I had the conviction to start putting myself out there sharing content, telling stories about my experience, about how I saw things, and about how I had helped people get out of the situations that I had been in. And it still all of that sharing that the person found me and asked me if I want to do this. And I thought I was gonna get on the call and go through this whole rigorous interview process. And I I still wasn't sure I wanted to do it. I was
just curious. But they were excited to have me and that was like, Whoa, that blew my mind. You know, because, again, until that point, I still felt like this. I don't know, this kind of little person sort of banging on the door trying to kind of shout
about this institution. The way that this this this industry of big law works and all the things that were wrong with it, but trying to kind of help people see there was another way and yet here I was being offered the opportunity to do Help people before they got to that stage, to share the benefit of my experience and my wisdom. So that was humbling and exciting. And it made me kind of think about other things that have been achieved in the time since
I left. I wrote the book, obviously, that I just read you a passage of about my experience, something that's been on my, on my to do list, not ever to do lists, but my wish list for, I don't know, God knows how many years, but actually committed to just sitting down and doing it. And even though there are definitely parts where I'm like, if I say that, is that really going to annoy people are people going to really have issues with that.
But I believed enough in what I was saying that I was like, fuck it, I'm just gonna put it out there. And as I always say, to my clients, to myself is you can't be wrong if you're speaking your truth. And I know that everything that I say in the book is true, it is my truth. And I also know that the book is helping people reframe their own thoughts, choose their own path, believe that they can do more of explore what it is that they want to do instead of what it is they're already
doing. And that book would not have come out and would not have helped those people. If I hadn't built that belief to walk away, and don't look back. I've managed to teach yoga to some amazing people in the corporate world, and influence their lives that way, whether it's just giving them something a couple of times a week to help their well being to get them moving to help them deal with the stresses of life. I've been able to share my passion, my wisdom, and help them through
those situations. Again, I never thought I would be teaching people yoga. When I was sat there, into the early hours, reviewing paperwork, reviewing documents, I mean, just thinking God Is this my life for the next 20/30 years, I never in a million years would have thought that I'd be stood at the front of a yoga studio with a number of people there with their mats in front of them hanging on my every word and moving through a sequence that I was directing them through. never would have
thought that. But again, it could only happen by me, putting myself out there by me doing the work to get clear on what I wanted, and try things experimenting, see what works. And this is really what this episode is about. It's really just to show to you that a lot can happen. Once you take that first step. I never knew that the things that I've just talked about would necessarily happen. But by deciding that I was never going back, I had to think about how I was going to move forward.
And then I had to actually started to move forward. And in moving forward, I figured out what I liked what I didn't like what works for me what didn't work for me the direction that I wanted to go in who I wanted to help. And things became a whole lot clearer just by moving some days, I moved full speed ahead, and I got shitload done. And I felt really accomplished. Some days, I move very slowly, and maybe did one tiny thing. But that tiny thing was still momentum, it was still helping
me to move forward. So I want you to listen to this episode. And even if you've listened to the other 53, and you listen and you get really fired up, and then you kind of go back to your day, you get sucked back into that life of lethargy and doing the same things that you've always done. Really, really want you to listen to this episode, and listen to it again, as many
times as you need to. And take that moment, take the inspiration to decide you're going to take a step forward, a step away from the situation you're in, that you don't want to be in a step towards the life it is you want to live the life you're trying to create for yourself a life that's lit. Don't worry about what's going to happen and how it's going to
work out. As I hope that I have shown you by speaking it into existence by putting yourself out there by letting people know that you're out there doing these things. You have these interests, you have these passions, you want to make this change. opportunities will arise. People will find you and you don't know what it is that you're going to do because it may not have ever crossed your mind. It may not be something
that even exists yet. But it will appear and you'll be like that's it that's the thing I needs doing that really lights up my soul. It's kind of like what happened to me with coaching. I never planned to be a coach, even once I left big law, and I started teaching yoga, and people could see that I was just better in myself, I was more relaxed, I was more at
peace with myself. And I was getting asked to have a conversation with, Oh, my friend is having a tough time at work, maybe you can have a chat with them, or this person is not really enjoying their job and because kind of like thinking about a new direction, would you have a chat to them and share your experience, even in all of that when I was doing those things, just because people asked me to, and I was happy to
do it. And the people I was speaking to were saying how valuable and how helpful it was to them. I still was like, I just want to teach yoga. That's what I want to do. I put up a little bit of resistance. But in the end, the the noise became so loud that I just felt okay, let me let me explore this. Let me experiment let me just try this out. And it wasn't until trying, I realised I love this. I love
this shit. I love coaching people I love sitting down, taking people through whatever it is they go through, see those light bulb moments come on, as they sit realised that I never thought about it that way before seeing these breakthroughs happen. Hearing their stories, I mean, a few weeks, months years down the line of just how much their life has changed. Because they started to see themselves differently, they started to see
what was possible for them. And they stopped being locked in this mental cell of limitation, self limitation. That's what lit up my soul. And that's why I do what I do now. So this is just to, again, give you a little bit of inspiration, give you that fire to start you moving forward. Because I love as I say, just pondering, as I do these weekly trips down to London to teach these wonderful students, of how far I've come.
What I doing now that I never would have thought I was doing I never could have foreseen when I was in the lethargy, the misery as I was, at times a big law. And I want this episode to help you see that. If you are struggling to, if you're in a situation, you don't want to be it. And if you're looking at 10,20, 30 years down the line and thinking God, I really can't be here doing this, I want this episode to help you start to think about the fact that that doesn't have to be your life. If
you don't want it to. You just need to decide that it's not going to be your life. That's not what you're going to be. And start to create a picture of what you think you might want it to be that what you will, because as I say you try things in, you will have an idea. And that might not be the thing for you. But it may lead you to
something else. But at least if you start to think about create this picture, you will then start to try things to take you to where it is that you want to get to you think you might want to get to. But I implore you, I really urge you to just try to just take a step and try. Whatever fears you have. Whatever you think the people
might say, just try. Don't be stuck here next year, three years from now, five years from now, having done nothing, because that's the worst possible place that you could be. Okay, I'm going to end it there. Thank you for joining me for this week's episode of The Triple C Project. As always, I love to hear what you take away from the episode. So please hit me up, send me an email. hey@iamryanspence.com, or find me on LinkedIn and Instagram and send me a DM tell me what you
loved about this episode. Tell me an insight, your takeaway? Tell me how you're going to start changing your life. What's the action you're going to take? I made this podcast for you. I really want to just share what I went through where I've been what I'm doing in the hope that it inspires you to think about your own life so that you don't feel you have to do what you've always done or be who you've always been. Because that's not the case. Life is Beautiful Life, as I said like last week
can be your work of art. You can create it. And yeah, you can create it and carve it and paint it any way that you want. So go ahead, enjoy your weekends your week whenever it is that you're listening to this and as always stop living a life of lethargy and start living life lit. Thanks for tuning in. But before you go, the weight of limiting beliefs is heavy. It literally weighs you down and keeps you stuck in that life of lethargy. I know. It's why I stayed in big
law for so long. And it's why so many of my clients don't believe they can do the things that they want to do. Or causes those limiting beliefs. It's a lack of confidence, lack of confidence in the belief that you can do the things that you want to do. And I've got something for that.
It's my confidence journal. It's six journal prompts that I created, that I've used to help me get from where I am to where I want to be, to help to give me the belief to do the things that seem outside of my control outside of what I can do. If this sounds like you, you need to get your hands on the journal. Best thing about it, it's free. All you have to do is head to iamryanspence.com. Hit the button for confidence journal, and get your copy
today. It's going to help you start to reframe your thoughts and get you thinking about what you can do instead of focusing on what you can't do, and shed that load of limiting beliefs that you don't need to be carried. See you again next week. And until that time, stop living a life of lethargy and start living life lit!