The Topical - podcast cover

The Topical

The Onionwww.theonion.com
The Topical is the daily podcast from The Onion and Onion Public Radio, and the only podcast brave enough to ask: What if the news had sound effects? Join host Leslie Price each day as he barely scratches the surface of all the day’s top news stories. Journalism isn’t dead. It's using its dying breath to beg you to listen to The Topical. New episodes published every weekday by 5 a.m. Eastern time.
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Episodes

TikTok Apologizes After Inadvertently Giving Platform To Thousands Of Theater Kids

The popular social media app is in hot water after some dangerously sincere videos. Hear how the company is backtracking today after having their platform flooded with millions of videos featuring insufferable high school drama club students. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Aug 12, 20208 minSeason 1Ep. 131

Trump, Biden Campaigns Unveil Bold New Mouth Sounds

We have the latest on the coughs, hisses, hard swallows, lip smacks, and phlegmy throat clearings at the forefront of each campaign. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Aug 11, 20207 minSeason 1Ep. 130

NASA Announces Plans To Launch Chimpanzee Into Sun

The scientific community is calling the monumental mission a crucial step forward toward better understanding how species react to being deposited into the sun’s 27 million-degree plasma core. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Aug 07, 20208 minSeason 1Ep. 128

Town Council Votes To Rename Statue Of Robert E. Lee

Hear why residents of Bedford, VA believe now is the right time to change the name of the 14-foot-tall Confederate statue. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Aug 03, 20208 minSeason 1Ep. 124

Nation’s CEOs Sign Pledge To Continue Fucking Over Americans

OPR has the latest on the One Percent’s shining commitment to oppress the powerless, even in the face of economic uncertainty during the pandemic. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jul 27, 20207 minSeason 1Ep. 119

Study Finds Couples Who Live With Moldering Corpse Of Mother Having Less Sex

More couples are being forced to move in with other family members to cut costs, but how is it affecting their sex life? Hear how residing along the putrefying remains of Mother can result in a noticeable down turn in your desire to get it on with your partner. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jul 24, 20207 minSeason 1Ep. 118

Frustrated Mayors Demand Constituents Stop Paying Such Close Attention To Everything They Do

In the wake of an unprecedented health crisis and mass protests against police brutality, all eyes are on local government officials to keep our communities safe. Hear just how sick and tired mayors across the country are getting of having every little decision they make be held under a goddamn magnifying glass. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jul 23, 20209 minSeason 1Ep. 117

CDC Horrified After Discovering Existence Of Thousands Of Public Pools

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says they’ve discovered evidence of these disease vectors in nearly every city in the nation. Hear just how horrified they were to learn of the existence of these germ-infested public wells of moisture. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jul 21, 20207 minSeason 1Ep. 115

Spain Holds First Annual ‘Running Of The Virus’ Festival

It may not be the Running Of The Bulls tradition everyone knows and loves, but festival organizers in Pamplona, Spain are confident this year’s modifications will still be enjoyable to thrill-seekers around the globe. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jul 20, 20208 minSeason 1Ep. 114

Prison Guards Gun Down Inmate Trying To Escape Jail Through Transportive Power Of Reading

Authorities say the prisoner was attempting to escape the confines of the 432-acre complex by getting lost in the fantastical world of Robin Hobb’s “The Farseer Trilogy.” Hear what steps are being taken by prison officials to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jul 13, 20208 minSeason 1Ep. 109

New Crest Sweepstakes Offers Chance To Win 10 Million Teeth

Plus, a new presidential poll shows each candidate’s name, followed by a number, then a percentage sign. But what do they mean? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jul 10, 20207 minSeason 1Ep. 108

City Terrorized But Unimpressed By Serial Killer Who Just Shoots Victims

Authorities in Carson City are calling it one of the most underwhelming serial killers the city has ever seen, and are hoping to put an end to this chilling, yet uncreative rampage before the murderer strikes again. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jul 08, 20206 minSeason 1Ep. 106

Lime Unveils Pilot Program For Inexplicable New E-Cubes

Could these huge electric cubes that citygoes can drag, push, or roll with them to their destination be the future of transportation? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jul 07, 20206 minSeason 1Ep. 105
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