These podcast episodes barely scratch the surface of conversations around different aspects of our sexual and relationship wellbeing, and this is definitely the case for this conversation on neurodiversity and how it shows up in sex lives, intimacy, relationships and dating. Neurodiversity is an umbrella term that includes many conditions, and describes the variety of ways that people’s brains process information, which differs to what’s described as being neurotypical. By definition it’s a huge...
Nov 01, 2024•1 hr 9 min•Season 5Ep. 12
Whilst we have come a long way in breaking down the silence around infertility, conversations around male infertility and male fertility issues are still broadly undiscussed. Common perception and assumptions around infertility are that it's a 'woman's issue', but it's estimated that 7% of all men are impacted by infertility; and an estimated one in seven couples in the UK experience infertility which highlights the huge gap in how often people are navigating these emotional and physical challen...
Oct 19, 2024•1 hr 28 min•Season 5Ep. 12
The impact of cancer can touch every part of our lives, but many people with cancer report that the impact that is rarely discussed is that on sex, pleasure, intimacy, relationships and dating. The experiences, treatments and changes that we go through are so layered in terms of the physical, emotional and psychological and it's impossible to separate the different parts out as we are in constant relationship between our bodies and how we think and feel about them, and this is something that can...
Oct 11, 2024•1 hr 18 min•Season 5Ep. 10
Miscommunication in relationships is inevitable. We misunderstand each other, misinterpret and make assumptions about what our partners are thinking and we all bring our own thoughts, feelings and experiences to our relationships - but what happens if it feels like we aren't even speaking the same language? In this episode Anne Hodder-Shipp discusses her theory of the 18 Modern Love Languages which is a revamp of the love language concept. They talk us through how we think about, understand and ...
Oct 04, 2024•1 hr 6 min•Season 5Ep. 9
Seeing things differently in relationships is inevitable - we can never expect to be 100% perfectly aligned with another person; but what about the stuff that we don't or can't see because it's in our blind spots? In this conversation I delve into the question 'What Am I Missing?' when it comes to sex, relationships and intimacy with Emma Reed Turrell, the author of the new book with this same title. Emma talks about how we have a societal blindspot when it comes to our perception of romance and...
Sep 27, 2024•1 hr 14 min•Season 5Ep. 8
There is a real lack of conversation around many medical conditions, and especially those which are not immediately visible, and MRKH falls into this category. Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser (MRKH) syndrome is a congenital condition which is characterised by the vagina and uterus being underdeveloped or absent, alongside other symptoms. As there are no physically outwards signs until someone reaches puberty and doesn't start their period, this leaves many discovering that they have the condition...
Sep 20, 2024•1 hr 39 min•Season 5Ep. 8
When it comes to sex and intimacy, one guarantee is that everyone has questions - it's impossible for any single person to know everything there is to know about sex and relationships. The lack of normalising conversation around the topic of sex leaves so many people feeling like they don't know how to ask or where to go to get their questions answered, but the truth is that there is no one-size-fits-all answer and no magic formula - but there are ingredients to great sex. So to get some of thes...
Sep 13, 2024•1 hr 14 min•Season 5Ep. 6
Relationships come in many different shapes, sizes and configurations and every relationship model comes with its own set of benefits, challenges and complexities. When it comes to opening up relationships it can be hard to know where to start, how to talk about it and how to manage the emotions and logistics that accompany a new relationship structure. In this episode I interview Niki D , who is a relationship therapist with over 30 years experience who specialises in working with non-monogamou...
Sep 06, 2024•1 hr 18 min•Season 5Ep. 5
If sex is a skill to be learnt then can sexual fulfilment ever be really achieved, or is it something that changes with us throughout our lives? Sex-misinformation is rife, and many of us are set up by our sexual expectations which means that we and our partners will inevitably fail or struggle in some way to achieve these perfect and unrealistic versions of sex. Casey Tanner is a therapist who talks about how these ideas of failing come from a version of sex which is all about productivity and ...
Aug 30, 2024•1 hr 3 min•Season 5Ep. 4
“Why does sex make babies, and babies spell erotic disaster in couples?” ~ Esther Perel, The Secret To Desire In A Long Term Relationship, Ted Talk. Dr Karen Gurney describes becoming parents as a 'relationship culture shock' and argues that it's unrealistic for us to expect our sex lives and intimacy to be unaffected by the competing priorities and mental load of parenthood. In this conversation we deep dive into how parents can approach their sex lives changing not as a parenthood vs sex battl...
Aug 23, 2024•1 hr 5 min•Season 5Ep. 3
Whilst it can be considered that loss is the impossible-to-avoid flipside of love, becoming a widow at age 30 defies all predictions of what building a life with someone looks like. But, this was what happened to my guest Lotte Bowser, whose partner Ben died age 36 in the midst of their plans for making a future together. This conversation digs deep into Lotte's experience of the rollercoaster of Ben's illness, treatment and death, and how dramatically differently their lives changed direction a...
Aug 16, 2024•59 min•Season 5Ep. 2
Many of the ways in which we meet, date and maintain love, sex and intimacy have changed across generations; but what happens when these adaptations come up to clash with our historical and ingrained beliefs and expectations of relationships? Has how we love changed, or has the context around love moved on which has shaped our expectations and experiences of intimacy in new ways? In this episode, author of How To Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind Todd Baratz talks about how we are ‘pursuing ...
Aug 09, 2024•59 min•Season 5Ep. 1
The sexual wellness industry is booming with new products, platforms and apps joining the market all the time. When this is in combination with the huge role that social media and the internet plays in our lives, we can see that influencers have the potential to play a big role in starting conversations, raising awareness and breaking down taboos. Someone who has harnessed this is Shakira Scott, known as Scotty who Trademarked the term Sexfluencer™ to combine her sex education work with brand pa...
Oct 27, 2023•58 min•Season 4Ep. 12
In this episode Jack Guinness describes how The Queer Bible is the book that the younger him needed and wished for. Growing up in Britain under Section 28 meant that generations of LGBTQI+ people grew up without seeing themselves or people like them in books, publications or media. This left so many feeling isolated in their feelings and experiences which Jack describes as a big part of his own life. He talks about how in telling the stories of many queer icons, written by and contributed to by ...
Oct 20, 2023•58 min•Season 4Ep. 11
According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists nearly 3/4 women will experience pain during intercourse at some point during their lives, and yet despite this many struggle to get answers to why they are experiencing this type of pain. There are multiple reasons that someone may be experiencing pain in their genitals and pelvic area. It can occur at different points during their menstrual cycle, can be a more constant pain, or it can be more acute at certain times for exam...
Oct 13, 2023•1 hr 14 min•Season 4Ep. 10
Many of us lack confidence in our bodies, and have anxieties or worries about how our body might look, especially when comparing ourselves to others. These anxieties can extend to our genitals with many struggling to accept their body which can interfere with desire, arousal and sexual functioning as well as self-esteem and sexual self confidence. Lydia Reeves is a female body casting artist who went through this herself as she struggled with how her vulva looked. This lead to her booking hersel...
Oct 06, 2023•58 min•Season 4Ep. 9
The transition to parenthood for a couple is one that consists of huge highs and plenty of challenges, as we navigate the shift of going from couple to family, and all that comes with that. Parenting can bring intense joy and love coupled with demands on our emotions, time, availability and energy as we nurture our children through different stages of their development, whilst trying to balance our own and our partners needs alongside it all. The Gottman's studied new parents in a longitudinal s...
Sep 29, 2023•1 hr 3 min•Season 4Ep. 8
With the changes the world has seen as a result of the internet, and latterly the smartphone with the debut of the iPhone in 2007; there has never been more availability of information and content online at the click of a button. This has completely changed the way in which so many people access pornography and has reduced barriers to who can access it and when. With this ever-growing online sex culture, porn literacy can offer a way of helping people to think critically, and build awareness and...
Sep 22, 2023•51 min•Season 4Ep. 7
Adapting your life after an accident or illness is something that many individuals and couples have to go through, but many report sex and intimacy being the part of their lives that they feel least resourced to know how to manage with the big changes that have taken place for them. Knowing where to start, how to talk about it or even how to understand how sex might be affected post injury can feel like a very challenging conversation to have with a medical professional, let alone a partner. Ed ...
Sep 15, 2023•1 hr 1 min•Season 4Ep. 6
Attachment theory is a commonly discussed psychological and relational theory that is rooted in how we develop attachments in early childhood, and continue them throughout our lives, adulthood and couple relationships. There are thousands of books written on the topic of how we can understand relationships, be better in relationships and choose the right partner - but Dr Stan Tatkin would argue that as humans we are all difficult and therefore difficult partners; which is why relationships are s...
Sep 08, 2023•1 hr 17 min•Season 4Ep. 5
Sex, pleasure and orgasm are influenced by numerous parts of our lives - biological, social and psychological - but what happens in our brain when we fantasise, experience desire or orgasm? And how do experiences like stress and anxiety interrupt our sex lives on a brain and body level? Neuroscientist, author and researcher Dr Nan Wise unpacks what she has seen in her research using fMRI brain scans, and goes onto explain how the different parts of our lives can work with and against each other ...
Sep 01, 2023•1 hr 12 min•Season 4Ep. 4
Research shows at least 1 in 3 women find some aspect of their birth traumatic. Someone's birthing experience can be influenced by an almost unlimited number of factors both contextual and personal, which can make all the difference to how someone feels about their childbirth experience. Birth trauma can be considered to be a unique trauma experience for various reasons as Dr Rebecca Moore will explore in this episode, and in 2014 birth trauma was recognised in the NICE guidelines. Many of those...
Aug 25, 2023•1 hr 8 min•Season 4Ep. 3
Most of us interact with some form of media on a daily basis, with it creating both positive and negative influence on various aspects of our health and wellbeing. The messages and information that we digest from mass media are now often translated across social media and our smartphones, meaning that it can be hard to constantly think about what we are reading and why, rather than just taking it in. These messages and narratives can show up in our sex lives as myths that we believe to be facts,...
Aug 18, 2023•56 min•Season 4Ep. 2
Why is sexual communication one of the key ingredients of our sex lives, but yet is one of the hardest things for us to do? Very few of us feel well set up or equipped to talk about sex comfortably, and so in this episode Vanessa and Xander Marin New York Times Best Selling authors of Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life and hosts of Pillow Talks podcast, unpack the specifics and mechanics of how to talk about sex, covering the five conversational steps from their...
Aug 11, 2023•1 hr 2 min•Season 4Ep. 1
The practice of manifesting has gained a lot of attention over the last few years, and so for this final episode of series three I wanted to understand how manifesting can show up in our dating lives, relationships and sex lives. Defined as the practice of thinking aspirational thoughts with the purpose of making them real, I see a lot of cross over with my work as a therapist. Both practices are about helping people to remove barriers and self-doubt, build confidence and helping people to get t...
Jul 22, 2022•52 min•Season 3Ep. 12
Despite being a condition which impacts one in five hundred women Vaginismus is a rarely discussed and often misunderstood sexual dysfunction. It’s characterised by the involuntary contraction of the muscles around the vagina which can make penetration painful, difficult and often impossible. There are unlimited reasons for why someone might be struggling with this condition, and equally many ways that it may show up for them in terms of challenges with sex, relationships, dating, body confidenc...
Jul 15, 2022•1 hr 10 min•Season 3Ep. 11
Love is a huge part of our humanity, and for many of us it plays a big part in how we engage with the world whether it's the love we have for a romantic or sexual partner, familial or friendship love, or the love that we have for ourselves. Our social context has changed so much across the centuries which has impacted how we love and how we think about love. So with all these changes to the world and how we live, has the role of love in our lives changed? Have we adapted love to fit our new envi...
Jul 08, 2022•1 hr•Season 3Ep. 10
Anxiety can show up in every area of our lives, and sometimes with what feels like no logical explanation or reason. One of the hardest things can also be not knowing how to communicate or explain to a partner about how we are feeling, particularly if from the outside it looks like nothing has changed. Performance anxiety can show up for us in situations both old and new, and anxiety in other areas of our life can leak into our intimate lives. This has the potential to disrupt the relationship s...
Jul 01, 2022•54 min•Season 3Ep. 9
Sexual experiences involve the participation of both our bodies and our minds; and so the relationship that we have with our bodies and how we think and feel about them can hugely influence our experience of sex. Body confidence is something that comes up a huge amount in the therapy room for both men and women. Whilst it may not be explicitly obvious that it’s why we are struggling with sex and intimacy; challenges with body confidence and negative thoughts about our bodies can distract and dis...
Jun 24, 2022•1 hr 3 min•Season 3Ep. 8
Break ups are one of the inevitable risks of starting a relationship, and something that most of us will go through in one shape or another during our lifetimes. Break ups are also regularly the theme of stories on our screens, stages, books and in our music and in many ways we are obsessed with love stories and their endings. There are also so many questions around break ups that we don't have the answers to. Is there a 'good' way to break up? Can we ever be friends with an ex? Can it ever be a...
Jun 17, 2022•54 min•Season 3Ep. 7
