Postpartum + Baby Update

It's time to invest your best . All right , all right . Welcome to the Invest Your Best podcast .

I cannot believe it . So I have so much to catch you up on . So stick around . It's so interesting when there's that saying how the days are long but the years are short , and that's exactly how I would define the postpartum period .

Because you know , 10 months ago I would say from month one to month five was very rough this time around And I didn't think I was going to get out of whatever I was in . You know , i really experienced postpartum depression this time around And I'll tell you why . I think that is compared to my other two postpartum experiences .

But , man , when you're in it , it feels like there isn't any light at the end of the tunnel . So I just want to say , if you are early in your postpartum journey , if this is your first child and you don't really have anything to compare it to , i just want to let you know you are not alone . It passes .

There's the light at the end of the tunnel , it gets better . And get help , ask friends . You know , i think the biggest thing for me is I isolate myself when I'm going through something really hard , and hindsight is always 2020 .

And I just I turned down so many people's phone calls or friends that were like , hey , i'll come watch the baby for you know , a couple hours while you shower , i'll bring you a coffee , just all the things , and I really shut out people And I really didn't talk a lot about what I was feeling or like the thoughts in my head that were really scary .

So I just want to say I know it's it's , it's hard when you're in it , but as someone that's kind of on the outside , please , there's nothing to be shameful about to get help and ask for help . There's people that will rally around you . So I just want to throw that out there .

But I want to talk about postpartum depression , because here's the thing you go to your doctor's appointment right after the six week mark and a nurse asks you like a series of questions , very casually , very fast before the doctor comes in , and it's like do you feel safe at home . Have you been crying ? Do you feel really sad ?

You know , it's just very , very fast , very casual , and at my six week appointment I was definitely starting to feel the height and just sadness and no hope . And there's definitely that period where they call it baby blues . Whereas it's pretty typical to feel these feelings up until the six week mark , after that it typically subsides .

Anything after that is usually a diagnostic criteria of postpartum depression . So I was very well aware that something was just not going the way that I was used to , you know , and I just felt very embarrassed and almost like shameful to be like , yeah , i am crying a lot , you know , and I didn't even bring it up to my doctor And it was shame .

It was shame and embarrassment and it's interesting because you know I preach on here like get help , like you know , get counseling . There's nothing to be shameful about And I really felt it in that moment . But after I went home I went on telehealth . I love telehealth because it makes me feel comfortable in my home .

There's just something about being in your home and being able to talk to your doctor without having to go to , like , the doctor's office and maybe knowing someone or knowing that this nurse was a friend of your , you know , just like all the things . And I went and I got help after that doctor's appointment from a telehealth resource .

So I just want to say there's other resources out there . Your doctor is not like the end , all be all . There's other resources out there And thankfully I recognize that . But I do want to say like you're not alone . If you feel embarrassed or just shameful when you know something's off , you know mentally . So I just want to reiterate that you are not alone .

But there's two things I really think contributed to my postpartum depression that I want to kind of just talk about , especially if you are pregnant and you're about to go into your postpartum journey . Because for me , you know , this was my third postpartum experience And I had a plan in place of how I was going to do postpartum .

You know I was going to be on a schedule . I was going to focus on foods that were nutrient dense . I was going to go for like . I had this plan in my mind and then all of a sudden , you know , shit got real And it was like that plan didn't exist . So I just want to say the biggest thing that was really different .

There were two things that were really different this time around with my postpartum was one my whole exclusive pumping thing . I had never experienced that before And I was pumping every two hours And it was mentally draining .

It was draining in the sense where , like you know , i would finally lay down for nighttime and I would have to wake up and pump because I would have to feed them on demand . If you want to know more about , like , why this happened , i talked about it in my initial postpartum journey update episode .

It's probably like five episodes ago , but definitely listen to that . But yeah , i was pumping every two hours and that is such just mentally draining . So I think that definitely contributed to it . But it was also the sleep .

Now here's the thing I definitely lost sleep with , like my first two kids , but I , they were nursing , they would latch on to me , so I would , you know , lay in bed at night if they woke up and I would just put them on my boob and they would fall asleep .

You know , if they woke up in the middle of the night , i could put them back on my boob and they would fall asleep And I think I definitely got a lot more sleep the first two postpartum errors this time around , because he wouldn't take my boob . You know , we had to make bottles , i had a pump And and I had to make bottles , i had to make bottles .

I would nap during the day , but I really think there's something about your circadian rhythm and staying on it .

So , hindsight , if I could go back , what I would make more of a point to do this time around when it comes to lack of sleep is really making it a point to go to bed at like 7 or 8 pm when the baby went to bed , because the baby would do like he would go down from 6 or 7 pm until like 10 or 11 .

You know , that was like a solid stretch and I would stay up because you know how . you also want to have your time to yourself , but I would really reinforce going to bed when the sun goes down with the baby And also asking your partner to step in .

I think I definitely had this mindset with all my postpartum experiences where my husband has to get up at 5 am . Therefore , i would do the night shift . You know , it was just . That was like the give and take of it And I think I just I just needed to ask him more to get sleep at night and whether it was like we did shifts or something .

But I think really prioritizing your sleep at nighttime is a must because your body stays on that circadian rhythm . I really think me not getting sleep around really played into my depression , because when your basic needs are compromised , everything else in your body , your brain , cannot function properly , and I think that's what was really contributing to it .

We did have the night nurse occasionally . She was amazing , but you know that's that was really expensive and we couldn't have that resource all the time . There were definitely friends of mine that said , hey , i can come over at night and help a couple hours and like no , no , no , i wish I took , i accepted that help .

So I just want to say , even if you don't have , obviously , the money for a night nurse , like we , we didn't have the money to have a night nurse 24 seven . There's other resources out there , but I think it really comes down to setting up some type of sleep schedule with your partner so that you're getting sleep at night .

And also another thing I realized you know the saying sleep with the baby . When I did that during the day , i felt even more groggy . So again , i mean , i'm not a doctor , but I think there's definitely something about the circadian rhythm where you know you rise when the sun rises and you go down when the sun sets .

That's just your natural rhythm and I think really highlighting that sleep at night is like key . So that's what I think contributed a lot to the depression . I just think , with the sleep , that basic need really just threw through me out of whack And I will say month five was like the light at the end of the tunnel .

So if you are really early in your postpartum journey , hang in there . I'm telling you , month five is when everything changed . Okay , so I get a lot of questions about , like , my body , weight loss and all the things I want to talk about that .

So I nursed and I pumped while I tried to nurse , but I was exclusively , exclusively pumping , producing milk , up until month five . Now , between months one and months five , i still move my body 30 minutes a day , whether it was walking .

I really , really tried to focus on nutrient dense foods , even more so while I was nursing , because my whole perspective is when you are nurturing your body and you're giving your body what it needs . Then you could produce more milk . You know that was my mindset . So I really tried to eat less of sugar carbs , not not like good carbs , but the white .

You know , processed food is what I tried to stay away from or eat less of . And then I would always do electrolytes . I will say I was doing liquid IV a lot while I was nursing . It really helped me produce the milk electrolytes . But I will say liquid IV has a lot of sugar in it and there's alternatives , which is elementy element , but it's elementy .

That's like a cleaner brand . Go check them out . I really enjoy those and I was like downing packets , probably like two or three times a day . It really , for me it really made a difference . I don't know if it was like the placebo effect , but it makes sense . You're feeding your body electrolytes and you produce more milk .

But it had a lot of sugar in it . So elementy is a really great option , but anyways . So what I was saying is month one through five , while I was nursing , you know I was still . You know I wasn't really eating everything in anything . I was moving my body , i was eating Pretty clean .

I wasn't perfect , but I would definitely say I was doing like the 7030 rule , i would say my portions were bigger because I was hungrier , but nothing more extreme than what I'm doing now , and my body just held on too fat .

And I was listening to something where they talk about you know , when you nurse , when your body is producing milk , it actually slows down your metabolism and you become insulin sensitive . I'm sorry , not insulin sensitive , insulin resistant .

So a lot of women have heard you know , oh , when you nurse , you're , you're burning all these calories and I just can't keep the weight off while I'm nursing . And yes , you are burning calories , and that may be true for some women where it really helps them to shed pounds , but for me it was the exact opposite .

My body just kept on this fat and I think it slowed down my metabolism and I was more insulin resistant . And the reason why I say that is because after I started reducing pumping month five , like , i immediately saw a big change in my body .

It was like a big jump , the most progress I've made throughout my entire postpartum journey and Again , like the scale wasn't really moving up until that point . So I'm not advocating to go stop nursing , that's not what I'm saying . I'm just trying to give you the reality of it But also give you hope .

If you're nursing and you're like I , can't like , my body is just not Responding to what I'm doing . What I want to say is there's light at the end of the tunnel . When the time is right , you know , and you do stop nursing , your body will adapt .

But I think it's also having the mindset that while you're nursing and pumping like this is such a small time in your life , especially if you're nursing like I I really wish I could a nurse this time around . It's such a special time if you do choose to nurse your child And no judgments . If you don't like my kid had formula It's it's all good .

But there is , like you know , that enjoyment when , when you nurse and I just want to give that perspective That it's such a short time and it's just another sacrifice that we mothers and women make After pregnancy and that we will continue making for our kids .

And so when you do stop , your body Most likely will respond , if it's anything like mine , But I just want to say that that was like something that I think , the more I talk about even on like

social media a lot , of women . They're like oh my gosh , i thought I was the only one , but I am the one where , like , i kept the , the fat on , so my body . So , after month five , my body started

responding to what I was doing and , like I said , i didn't do anything more extreme than what I was doing the first five months of postpartum . I just think it was the , my metabolism sped up a little more , so there's hope .

One other thing I really want to talk about that I feel like I'm doing a little differently this time around that has helped is I think I was guilty of the first two postpartum times in my life Where I was putting my happiness on hold , and I've talked about this before .

But I really have shifted my mentality Where , like the past four months of this postpartum , like I'm still in my postpartum phase , you know , i still have 20 pounds to lose , i'm still Not the version of myself that I want to be , you know , but I'm still like living life .

And I think that's completely different Mentality that I had the first two times around , because I was putting my happiness on hold .

I was always telling myself okay , when I reach this weight , then I can wear these clothes , or then we'll go on this vacation or then , you know , i'll feel sexy and then I'll feel comfortable with , like , having sex with my husband . You know , just like all this narrative in my mind , that was like just wait till you're at this point .

Just wait till you're at this point , and I think this time around I know my situation is not temporary or permanent . Like your situation is temporary .

Postpartum is temporary And I think , if you adapt the mindset that we are constantly evolving , we're constantly , you know , getting better , putting in the work , we can change our brains , can change all the things , that it makes it easier to not get stuck on the here and now .

And I've chosen I still have to catch myself , but I've really chosen not to tear myself up in the mirror . Do

I have stretch marks and weird nipples and Weird things going on , like my belly button this postpartum ? Yes , of course , like I see the stretch marks , like There was damage there . There was damage that was done .

But I'm also like It's okay , let's , let's just see where I am in a year and then we'll assess the situation and go from there like I know Nothing , like it's all fixable and and it's all fine .

So I really have adapted this mindset where I want to live the life Like we just want on our tenure anniversary trip and usually I probably would have not planned a trip like that because You know , when you go on trips you think of like clothes , what are you going to wear , how are you going to feel , and I think I'm just living in the moment .

It's okay , and I think that's been like such a milestone for me because I really was guilty of putting my happiness on hold . So I just want to say , if you feel stuck , if you feel like you're not making progress , if you feel like You're still in that mindset of I want to feel like my old self .

That's such a like a distorted thought that's going to keep you from pushing forward and evolving . I think another big thing is having that mindset of You're never gonna be the person you were before you had a baby , before you had kids , you know , and it's about wanting to create a new version of you .

That's so exciting , like who wants to go back to their old self . Your old self has not experienced The stuff and experiences you have today , so it's really about focusing on .

I want to become this new Version of myself and I think that's the exciting part that we're like we're works in progress And we get to put in the work and and do all the things every single day .

And when I say put in the work , i mean , like you know , personal growth as well , like putting in the work of healing and working on our mindset And what we're telling ourselves and how we view , you know , our situation in the world and just all the things . And this way we keep evolving .

So another thing about postpartum that I want to talk about that I feel like I'm doing a little differently this time around is maybe it's third child things too .

I'm just listening to what I want to do as a mother , and it's so hard to do that and tune other people out , and I think , especially as , like , first time moms , it's a lot harder because everyone has opinion , including your own mother . But I feel like this is my third baby .

I feel a lot more confident in who I am as a person , but not only as a person as a mother , where I am just listening to my intuition and doing what I know and feel is best for my child . And that was not starting solids right at four months , like I did not see the cues from my son .

There's other people on the internet that are doing solids and their baby is like eating corn at four months Maybe not corn , but I feel like I'm always on Instagram and they're eating like corn and beans . And people that have kids my age . I'm like , well , what is happening ? My kid hasn't even had solids , but I just knew it wasn't the right time .

So my kid right now is just now getting introduced to solids and he's thriving . But I'm glad I listened to myself and saved just the time of not trying to introduce something that I didn't feel was right . And I think that's also like with formula like you introduce formula or give your kid formula or don't give your kid formula or nurse them .

Don't nurse them . Sleep with them . You do what you feel is best . You're the mother , and that's another thing . Like with my son he is a third child and I think I'm not beating myself up with schedules with him And of course I'm listening to the cues of he takes naps around the same time , but we're focusing on the cues .

When I see he's tired , he goes down . It's not like , okay , at 9 am he needs to go down and then he has to sleep and someone has to stay at the house while I go do this . That's just not a realistic thing for us .

So we're doing cues with him and we're just kind of like listening to him and some days his naps are at 9 am , other there sometimes are at 10 am . We're just kind of going with the flow .

But I also think that's when you have three kids , because a child needs to be picked up at this time and the baby's sleeping and I have to wake him up and put him in the car . But you know what , he adapts and he goes back to sleep .

So I'm not beating myself up with very strict schedules And you know schedules work great for people like strict schedules and times and I know a lot of moms need that for their mentality , their sanity and their kids need that . And we're just a little more loose in that just because I think he is a third and we kind of just have to go with the flow .

Speaking of schedules , someone just asked me the question about like how do you not get into , like the stay at home mom rut , or even , you know , the postpartum , if you're home , postpartum wise , and one thing that I did with my first two kids .

That I didn't really do this time around , and I'm not trying to contradict myself , but it's not a schedule , but it's more of like a structure and routine that I really suggest and it's not something where you have to like be a stickler to it .

But one thing that really helped me is when I set intention for my day , and I didn't do it this time around , and I think that was also what contributed to the postpartum depression , because my day didn't really have meaning . I mean , of course , i was taking care of my baby , but I was lost as far as like , what am I supposed to be doing ?

So I really suggest , like creating some type of like structure , and I think definitely , as you know , the baby is between like right now , my son is sitting and crawling backwards and he wants to watch Ms Rachel and he wants to interact and he wants to be sung too .

So having something where it's like to break up the day , where it's like , you know , from eight to nine we play this game or we talk , and then from nine to nine thirty , we go and run an errand , you know , just like , have some type of like layout of your day , really helps to break it up and then , from ten to eleven , you go for a walk And I will

say , like going out and walking makes all the difference for me . There is something about being in the sun , getting that vitamin D , getting that sunlight on my face again ,

going back to that circadian rhythm , like waking yourself up and knowing it's time to start the day . My son loves it . All three of my kids have loved walks And I just really encourage you , like , don't underestimate a walk for your mental health . Like those walks can really boost your mood , your energy .

Just it has like a little , just a flip of it can really help just change your perspective . You know you're cooped up in the house all day and then you go outside for a walk and you just feel . You just feel better . So don't ever underestimate a walk for your mental health .

Go outside , walk , feel the sun on your face , feel the dope of me get released and just feel like 10% better than you did before you went outside for that walk . And the best thing about walks is , you know , having your child in the stroller .

Like they love it , and so I really think me walking throughout my entire postpartum And now you know my walking has turned into running , which is exciting . It's all like an evolution . Does that make sense ? Okay , so that's pretty much my update on postpartum . I will say we just went away for our 10 year anniversary . That's like another thing .

It's funny how or at least for me , i know not everyone is like me , but it's a lot easier to leave your kids the third time around , especially with , like , your parent .

My mom watched our kids and I just knew they were in good hands , everything would be okay And we would come back feeling really , you know , just rejuvenated as parents , like we needed this trip . So I think like again , it's what you tell yourself And I remember like with my first son , i never wanted to leave him .

Like I always thought something was going to happen to him . No one would be able to watch him the way they watched me . He would miss me so much . You know that was the narrative and the story I was telling myself . So this time around , i'm like the kids are going to be great , they're going to have fun .

We'll talk to them , you know they'll be okay And , of course , they were okay . So I'm so happy that we did take that trip . I will say we ate a lot of bread , a lot of sugar , i drink wine and I feel like crap . So what , i am going to continue doing my postpartum journey , which , you know , i'm around 10 months now .

I still have about 20 pounds to lose , but I feel like I really need to build back my muscles and really be intentional with weightlifting . I personally really love weightlifting and I just want to put it or bring it back into my schedule at least three times a week .

So , again , i think this is with anything , as you set goals or you set plans and then , after a certain amount of time , you reevaluate and you set new goals and you create new plans . And that's what I'm doing right now , because I feel like I'm at the next level of my journey , especially with my body .

So I am going to continue to eliminate gluten , sugar and like the white processed foods . I just truly see a difference when I include those in my life . Like my stomach is so bloated , i just feel moody , like just not , i don't have any clarity , you know .

Just , i feel the difference And I think that's the biggest thing is when you know how good you feel when you don't include those things . I think that's like with my journey with eliminating alcohol , like I never had something to compare not drinking to , like I was always drinking since I was 21 . So being hungover on the weekends was normal .

You know that I had nothing to compare it to . And now that I eliminated alcohol for so long , i know how good I feel without it and how productive my weekends can be and how great my sleep is .

I have something to compare it to And I think that's with , like the gluten , the sugar and the white processed foods too , like I've eliminated it consistently enough , where I know , now that I've included it back into my life , how just mentally foggy I feel , how unmotivated , how physically bloated I feel , how I feel sluggish , like I have something to compare it

to , which makes it even easier for me to say , hey , i really don't wanna include that in my life right now .

So again , i don't think I'm going to be 100% Like perfect on this , but I think , just going back to that 70 30 rule , where you know I am going to focus less on it and more on that nutrient dense whole foods So that's really what I'm focusing on is weights Really the nutrient dense foods , without those Things that I have told you about gluten , sugar ,

white carbs or white processed food . And then I'm also doing the couch to 10k . So if you want to run , if you , if you just want to start running , there's these great apps .

This is not sponsored , but couch to 5k and couch to 10k and what it is is they give you a daily plan , and some of those days are rest days , of course , but it's interval training . So my day one for the 10k plan was I would run for one minute and then walk for 1.5 . One minute 30 seconds , and I did that six times and then that was my workout .

That was , and then I would cool down and cool off . So Those are really great Ways to start running if that's something what you want to do . But that's what I'm focusing on and it's great to have a plan .

Speaking of plans , if you just want to start your journey , you have no idea where to start , but you just want to feel mentally and physically better , you want to start build habits and you want to prioritize your mental and physical health . I do offer online coaching with my . Coaching is not about extreme changes .

It's all about building habits and focusing on your mindset so that you can create a sustainable lifestyle that works for you . I do have challenges every so often . Right now , we are in deep with the selfish mom challenge and again , when I say selfish , i want to put a positive spin on what it means To be a selfish mom .

A selfish mom is someone who puts her personal , physical , mental Needs before her kids , and the reason she does that is she wants to be and become her best self so that she can give her best self To her kids , her loved ones , her work , whatever . So it's a win .

Win for everyone when you are a selfish mom and unfortunately , some people in society think that is selfish and that's why we're just gonna play into it and Make it a positive thing . So if you really want to start prioritizing your mental and physical health , let me hold your hand and doing it .

I give you all the resources so that you can start prioritizing you by making small and slow and steady Steps . But here's the thing I can only lead you to the water You have to drink and sometimes people aren't ready to make that change or they're still in their head , fighting about it , fighting themselves on it . So really reach out to me .

Let's see if this is a good program That works for you if you truly just want to start making those small and steady changes . Thank you so much for listening to another episode of the invest your best podcast . If you have any ideas of what you want to hear on future episodes

, if you want to hear something , if you want to have a certain guest on the show , if you want to learn about a specific topic , shoot me a DM . I always want to hear what you want to hear and Hopefully we can make it into an episode so I will catch you next time . Thanks for listening . I