In this episode we discuss how to deal with never feeling like you’re “enough,” show you how to overcome the insidious trap of "people pleasing,” look at the most effective treatments for OCD, panic attacks, anxiety and stress, discover the dangers of “toxic perfectionism” and how it might be holding you back, tell you why “should” is a dangerous word, and much more with our guest Taylor Newendorp.
Taylor Newendorp is the founder and president of Chicago Counseling Center and specializes in the treatment of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Perfectionism, and Anxiety Disorders. He was worked as a practicing therapist for many years and completed the International OCD Foundation's Behavioral Therapy Training Institute Taylor is the author of The Perfectionism Workbook: Proven Strategies to Break Free from Perfectionism and Achieve Your Goals.What is the myth of perfection and how does it impact your life?You are more likely to grow, thrive, and succeed once you acknowledge and accept your weaknessesThe Five Tendencies of Toxic PerfectionismWhat is the root cause behind the “people pleasing” tendency? Perfectionism can often be genetically pre-disposed if your family has a history of OCD or anxietyPeople pleasing is rooted in the idea that for you to be loved you have to achieve and be successfulHow much of what you’re doing is is because you WANT to or because you feel like you HAVE TO in order to have other people like you?What activities are you doing that you do solely for the approval of others? Would you do them for their own sake?Growth Mindset vs Fixed Mindset and how that impacts perfectionist tendencies Do you feel a feeling of discontent? No matter what you do, no matter what you achieve, do you feel like it’s never enough? Do you keep pushing yourself harder and harder causing stress and anxiety for yourself?How do you deal with self criticism and negative self talk?What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and how does it work?Exposure and response prevention is a highly effective solution to OCD, panic attacks, anxiety disorders, etc Learn and familiarize yourself with the cognitive distortions that are out there and see how they are playing out in your head Understand the connection between thoughts and feelings and how that might be influencing how you’re behavingOne question you can use to challenge your negative thoughts - if you had to stand up in a court of law and prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that this thought is 100% true would it hold up? When you feel something uncomfortable - avoidance and distraction are the two most common strategies for avoiding discomfortThe more you avoid something the more you increase your anxiety around that fear. The fear grows larger and larger in your brain. The more you face and spend time with your fears, your anxiety dissipates. Dig into and understand the triggers that make you uncomfortable and continually face them to build tolerance and resistance to them Exposure and response therapy creates new neural pathways that reduce anxiety over timeWhat is the relationship between perfectionism and OCD?A lot of people with OCD engage in compulsive behaviors to get a sense that things feel “just right"You should make your goals specific, measurable, and meaningful Mindfulness at its core is about observing yourself, observing others, without attaching judgement to it
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How You Can Overcome Procrastination and People Pleasing with Dr. Taylor Newendorp | The Science of Success podcast - Listen or read transcript on Metacast
