Live from Nashville, Tennessee, this is The Ramsey Show where we help people with their money, their relationships, their life, building wealth, getting out of debt, all of them. I'm John Deloney Joyne from a good friend Jade Worshaw and we are live. Take in your calls at AAA8255225. AAA8255225. Call in from all over planet Earth and we will do the best we can to get to your calls and answer your questions on just about anything. Let's go out to Chicago, Illinois and talk to Jake.
What's up Jake? How are we doing brother? Hey guys can you hear me? Yeah I got you man. What's up? Awesome. Thank you so much God bless you both. Thank you. Just calling for a relationship question. I've got a girlfriend and now I've been dating. I'm just over a month and she comes from out of the country actually but she's been in the US for a couple of years now and she's trying to get rid of her debt.
She's on the baby steps doing every dollar but she tells me like she's being overwhelmed because she's trying to also her family overseas is asking for money. They grew up kind of poverty so they're struggling and I'm just trying to get relationship advice from you guys. I know how to handle that on the sideline and be supportive and give advice. Where is she from? I just want to say that South America. Okay that's fine. Just a few. That's a very very very very very common thing.
Millions and millions and millions and millions of millions of dollars are sent back home when one or two or five or six family members make it to the US. So being this new relationship for a month I would sit with her and keep my mouth shut. I know that's right. And I would say man I know that's really hard. I know it's tough. I know you're in a pickle.
I want you to sit and hear her and unless she specifically says do you have advice for me on how I can get out of this situation which I doubt that question will actually come. I want you just to be present with her because she's probably pretty sharp and she's probably pretty smart and she probably needs you to be near her and needs your emotional support more than she needs your facts. Does that make sense? Yep. I got you. Yeah. Jade, do you have anything there?
I mean I guess this kind of is what it is man. Y'all been together a month. It's different to your married five years or something like that. Yeah I agree. I think the cultural difference changes the rules slightly because that is true. Depending on what your background is from or even if you have family that are still there.
There's a lot of cultural differences where yeah it is kind of like a family household and it's like listen, everybody contributes and she's probably still bringing some of that mindset here even though she now lives in the States. And to John's point I 100% agree I wouldn't touch it with a 10-foot pole and I would let her do her thing for now and as the relationship progresses.
Maybe there's a time where you guys talk about it when you're like engaged in that sort of thing but right now let her do her thing. And Jake this is a question that took me about 20 years of being married before I realized it would have been smart for me to ask and that is do you want me to give you a solution here or do you want me just to listen and be with you.
So if you ever feel like you're getting trapped or you feel like she's asking you veiled advice questions whatever just say hey do you want me just to sit with you. Or do you actually want me to tell you what I think you should do next and give her an option on what you should how you should proceed does that sound good. Yeah I like that. Okay alright brother well thanks for the call man best of luck to you. Let's go out to George in Tampa what's up George. Hey guys how's it going.
We are rocking on to the break it down brother what's up. So hey I just have some death stuff going on we just bought a house and what they have other than back to Texas basically and house we bought for 740 currently out 690 on it. We have 150 Ks 2 loans and 25 K on cars well got some more stuff going on so just trying to figure out what's the house worth and the soul then.
We think I mean we've been talking to you realtor of lately at least or hopefully at least get 740 up to anywhere up to set she wants to put on for 799 but in this market that's what we're kind of afraid of. So you think you'd only break even. Of course case yes. You break even minus fees so you'd actually lose money right. Exactly yeah so I mean plus the money we've helped most of the money we've put into his interest so we don't only play 5% down originally. Why are you moving so quickly.
Well we want to get around family we have a 1 year old so we want to get around family and then we're trying to figure out what to do next. We actually live in San Jose I believe kind of bored with it already we didn't know that when we first got here kids kind of changed things and kind of just wanting to life start buying stuff and. But you got a house for 3.4 million dollars. Well I was making a quarter million in my life and making 60.
And then it seemed like that crazy thing at the time which now think about it it was crazy and then my job they did a comp plan change and then the market kind of shifted in my field which is you know I'm probably make like still good money like 160 180 but I'm just we can talk about maybe resetting going back to renting for a bit stacking the counts again paying off the student loans and kind of getting back on track. Can you tell me more about the other debt.
Well we have 2 loans went to private education how much. 151 thousand left. Okay anything else. Just a car payment which I'm still something that's 25 grand left on it. 25. Okay and there's nothing else no credit cards. Nothing. Yeah I had money in the count we have about you know 37K and the accounts right now and then I got a retirement account too nothing crazy I got like 50 grand in the retirement and then I thought weird I know I need to sell it like one basic count that's 15K.
Yeah okay so here's the thing the good news is you've got some liquid cash sitting around here you're going to liquidate the coin base I would if I were in your shoes to make this right side up.
The good news is you can turn around and pay off your card a day today and then you can take the other 12000 put it with the 15000 and take that 27 and put it towards the student loans and now you're back in a city you got 125 thousand dollars of debt and that's a lot more manageable knowing what you guys' income potential is. Yeah. Right so I don't I don't think that the solution to your situation is necessarily selling the house unless you can no longer afford it.
That's the yeah we can but it's coming to a point where it's like is it becoming more worth it in a way because we really want to move and it's not a factor that's kind of playing in too much I don't know. So you don't love the house that is a big factor if you don't love the house I don't want you to move out of loss if you don't like the house I'd like to wait till you got right side up and just be patient. What percentage of your income is the house after of your take home pay.
Take home pay I mean that's a great question I don't know that answer to be honest I don't know what I should. Let's figure it out. Let's think about it. So what do you guys take home right now? Take home I paid by weekly and right now I'm getting paid around five grand by weekly and then she is that's ten probably point. Yeah she's pulling in like you know 2k on her checks right now. Okay so that's 12. We're going to come on commissions very slightly but usually around 12. She's okay.
Pulled 2k a week or 2k month. 2k a week. She sent my month place to 2 payrolls a month. Okay so 14,000 that's all you need to look at figure out what 25% of that is and then you're going to see okay can we actually afford this if you can't that's a good indicator it shouldn't be any more than $3,500 a month.
So that's what you're looking at I would not sell the house simply to pay off this debt if you hate the house and you're right side up be my guest but I don't think it's the solution that you need to get your behavior on point. There you go and I will say once I'm I took a check to closing to get out. And it changed my life so make the right call we'll be right back.
I've been doing this show for over 30 years and some of the saddest calls I have taken are from situations that are completely preventable. Yeah and what's so hard is I feel like one of those especially the ones that I'm like oh it's terrible air people that call in and their spouse has passed away suddenly and they don't have life insurance. When you have to think through how am I going to pay my bills. I'm going to be the middle next week.
Yeah and the middle of all that grief like it's just it is it's terrible. So life insurance is the one thing especially as a mom with three little kids that I'm like so big on for people to get because it's inexpensive. Xander is the place that Winston and I actually get all of our life insurance and it doesn't cost much because Xander shops among a gazillion different companies. It doesn't cost much just have to admit that someday you're not going to be here.
You got to say it out loud and you got to say I'm going to say I love you to my family by taking care of them and taking the time to put this stuff in place. The cost of stinkin pizza to get a free quote call 800 356 42 82 that's 800 356 42 82 are go to Xander dot com. Welcome back to the Ramsey show I'm John Deloney joined by Jade Warsaw triple 8 825 525 taking your calls live. Listen we're doing something that we've never done before.
Every year especially for the last few years Jade me Rachel Cruz we come together and we write something for every month in the Ramsey goal planner it's this it's the way planner should be done which is still by hand with pen and paper for all you digital people out there. It's a it hold in your hand planner we sell out every year and for the first time we've looked at the prices and it's like everything's expensive right now everything.
So what we did was we dropped this price for the first time ever we're pre selling it just 35 97 it's the new 2025 Ramsey goal planner we're pre selling it so you can get it this is the cheapest it'll ever be out there you guys are going to buy it for yourselves or for your spouses so go ahead and get it right now it sells out every year.
Don't let every day unimportant tasks constantly distract you and don't pick up your phone every one and a half seconds to find out where you're supposed to be and where you're supposed to be doing right that stuff down right it down again it's packed with expert
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Hey real well guys and great show appreciate you taking my call a question for you so I have a pretty gifted athlete in the family and she has the opportunity to play volleyball at the division one level and the question really is she's had offers to play at Ivy League schools pretty much throughout the east coast but do we take the route and go to division one that's not Ivy.
Fortunately I'm in a position where I could afford to send her to an Ivy League college but do we go and send her somewhere and go for free or is there a lot of value or is there value in her pursuing that Ivy education. Would she play would she just walk on to the Ivy League team or is she did you have an opportunity?
Yeah great question no they know she would be you know a big big member on the team but it really comes down to I'm in business I'm a business guy so is there a value in her playing at one of the Ivy's and spending you know as a family probably a half a million dollars for that four year education or would you get that number. Would you get half a million dollars. I know tell me about it.
No no no I mean like my world is universities and that that seems like a hundred grand a hundred grand a year at least yeah that's what that's what admissions has told me that like you know a Cornell or a Brown or a darkness or a Harvard. It's up to a hundred grand a year. A hundred grand a year. Is that tuition, room board, everything all in travel. Yeah that's all in yep you bet you yep. Okay. I can tell you let me give you my perspective I played D1 volleyball on scholarship.
I also had the and I had that a couple of different universities but one of them was also offering me an academic scholarship of presidential and the advice that I was given is choose education first because if for some reason you know I go on and I don't want to play overseas or
I go on and I decide that I don't want to keep playing volleyball I'll keep my scholarship right like I don't have to go on the the team scholarship I can go on the academic side and so part of this might play out in your situation as well where it's go go the route
that serves what the future is so if education and you can afford it if that's what you're going towards then that's great I don't know what her plans are for volleyball if she's wanting to go on to be an Olympic athlete is she wanting to go on to play overseas if that's the case then D1 might be the the route but if she's got these other I mean John you can speak to the educational side better than I can.
Mike that it's been several years man the last study I read said essentially this if and again this is before everything blew up there's been all the drama on all these college campuses before all that stuff if your kids could get into a Ivy League school and it
was not going to put your family out of business that there was an ROI to them attending and the ROI weirdly was less about the particular education and more about the people that they would be going to school with because those people would leave and start businesses and
hire your daughter or your daughter would hire start a business and hire these folks and it's the cremdella crem right the other side of that is I went to a tiny little in a I a school and then did all my grads work at a gigantic D1 school and my family's doing all right.
And I can't imagine someone with a straight face can look with at you and say pay me $400,000 over the next four years that just seems out of whack to me it must have gotten just insane the last 36 or 48 months but I have a hard time telling you go spend half a million dollars when you have it free right in front of you at the same time if I could do it without hurting my family and my kid wants to go to an Ivy school I probably send him. What can let's get bigger numbers what's your net worth.
I don't know enough plenty yeah enough I rather not get into the hotel but yeah like yeah. Tell me tell me what the pause is on your end. There's really not you know I just think that it's not a huge pause on my end but I do work in the field of business and I didn't go to Ivy and like yourself I think I'm doing okay and I do know people that did go to Ivy and they're probably not doing as well as people who like you and I so tell me about your kid.
You know I think she wants to probably go into medicine that would probably be something that she wants to do so that's why I'm more I'm encouraging that direction for her to go to the Ivy but the offers that she has from non Ivy are very reputable schools as
well but I know how challenging it is to actually get into an Ivy and to have the ability to use athletics like I've always told her to use athletics as a vehicle to do something bigger and better in your life and this is a prime example of an opportunity that's really hard to pass up but it's quite a bit of money and for her it's what I would do it for her and I would do it for all of my kids but I just wanted to get your perspective because you talk about money and deal with scenarios often.
So I'll tell you the doctor that saved my life the doctor that I call regularly and the doctor that I eat with on a regular basis went to a research the giant research university and is extraordinary medicine is now a professor at a top tier medical school after practicing medicine for all these years I think the only patient that continues to nag him to death is me.
It sounds like you have an extraordinary daughter who knows hard work who's also brilliant who's also learned hard work and work ethic from her dad and learned character from her parents and to be honest with you those type of students are going to you you can send her to a local community college and she's going to hit everything every pitch that comes down the way out of the park.
So I think it's you're you're one of the rare families that I would actually say that let's talk about fit and let's talk about where your daughter wants to be like what group of young people she going to thrive being around. I think you made a great statement earlier in the conversation about the research as to who is at these schools and sort of like next steps and what happens after graduation and the network because you can't play volleyball forever and you can't play athletics forever.
So I think that's sort of the thing that's in the back of my wife and I is mind is like the value and sort of what will happen and who she can interact with and meet in relationships that can be formed. I still have a little bit of reservation. You get it. I'm telling you right now I was a dean of students at a law school and a public law school. Some of those brilliant, competent, amazing kids of character. They were amazing. So you can't just lump that into these different places.
I'd actually gosh I'm thinking out loud here and I've got no data to back up what I'm saying but I would almost be more tempted if there was going to be we're going to go into some sort of AI field, some sort of research field, some side of quantitative. Let's go down rabbit hole. I'd be more likely to sit in a kid's an IV there than in medicine. I want my kids around gritty, hard working. Let's all study.
Let's all figure this thing out and serve our communities and you can find those kids anywhere, anywhere. I don't think you're in a wrong spot. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Haggard folks, the back to school madness is upon us. It's hit us right now. We got travel and work and all these forms to fill out now and sports to travel to and on and on.
My family's schedule is so packed and we haven't even begun talking about things like exercise and date nights and counseling and church and home projects and those are the things that make our life even worth living. Here's what I've learned. When it comes to taking care of me, I have to put on my oxygen mask first and that means that I have to do the things that keep me well in whole and I know that you have to do those same things too.
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And therapy can help you learn positive coping skills, how to set and practice boundaries, how to become the best version of yourself and most importantly, how to find peace in all of this chaos. In this upcoming season, make sure you put on your oxygen mask first. Never skip therapy day. Call my friends at BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash deloney today for 10% off your first month. It's BetterHelpHELP.com slash deloney. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show, Triple 8, 825-225.
It's going to be Las Vegas and talk to Luke. Hey Luke, what's up brother? Hey, what's going on? How are you guys doing today? We're doing alright, good man. How can we help? So, I'm about to come into a large lump sum of money. I'm not sure in the exact number, but 7 to 800,000. Wow. An accident settlement. What kind of accident? And it was one TV accident with me and a semi-truck. Oh, interstate. Are you okay? I have two, three serious injuries.
I've had a couple surgeries already and I'm going to need a lot more in the future. So I want to get your advice on how I can properly manage this money. So I don't have to worry about medical bills in the future and set up my family for success. What's the nature of your injuries? Because I know some surgeries that can cost 800,000 dollars without blinking. So, I'll need at least one spinal surgery where I'll have to use to my vertebrae and then I'll need at least two full knee replacement.
Oh, gosh. Geez, man. Are you, when will you be able to work? Will you be able to work? What's the prognosis on that? Well, the accident was actually about three years ago. Okay. I've been working for the past year and a half. Me and my wife bring home about 60,000 a year. And we have about, I'm not sure the exact number, but I know we have about 20,000 dollars in debt, most of it tied up with two vehicles and then just some credit cards.
Okay. Okay. So, the 60,000 a year is that what you've been making or is that like a decrease in income since the accident? It's actually an increase since my accident. I went to a small trade school and got certified in welding. Uh-huh. I got a job that's not too hard on my injuries and my wife is, uh, she, the salesman or saleswoman for her family business is selling pools. Okay. Well, I mean, seven to eight hundred thousand dollars is a lot of money.
Obviously, you can do the basic things clear out your debt, right? You got 20,000 dollars in debt. You pay that off. And make sure you set aside six months of expenses, right? Put that in a high yield savings account. What's the, what's the situation with your home? Uh, we're currently renting.
Um, we, I spend about a third of my income on just renting and, uh, basically all of what I make just goes to bills and then what, what she makes is, uh, like food, gas and all of the other necessities and we're saving as much as we can with whatever's left. Okay. So then that would be the next thing in the equation is to figure out, okay, what's our, what's our dream for a home? Do we want to, um, purchase a house anytime soon? If we, if so, what's the price range?
Do we want to put a really nice down payment down and invest the rest? Do we want to buy something modest and cash? That's the type of conversation I'd be having. If I were you, if we're talking about eight hundred thousand dollars, I probably wouldn't want to spend more than, I don't know, five hundred. Hold on a sec. I'm going to ask Jay to question on your behalf. Is that cool? Yeah. Go ahead. So Jay, I would, man, I'm overly conservative. I want to make sure I clear these surgeries first.
I would think, right? Well, what's your insurance like? Uh, I get, I get insurance through my, uh, to my job, um, they pay for a very, actually significant portion of it. Um, the only thing that I really need to worry about when it comes to medical is the high deductible. Yeah. Out of pocket max. Okay. Pretty great, man. Yeah. Okay. I mean, that's the assumption. Uh, what's your out of pocket max? Is it the same as your deductible? Uh, yeah. Uh, thirty five hundred. Okay. Yeah. Honest, amazing.
And I'd like to get to the point. That's why I said I would not, uh, if you're thinking about getting a house, choose a modest amount so you can still have a big chunk of this to invest. And if I were you, I'd go to Ramsey Solutions dot com slash mart vester and get with the smart vester, that's going to help you invest this. Um, and then I think that you're set up, like this is not the type of money that I'm set for life. I never have to do anything.
But if you're smart with it, it really, really, really gives you an amazing jump off. And I think at that point, you just keep doing what you've been doing. You, you know, you make 60,000 a year. You, you keep getting raises. You invest 15% every single month. You know, you, you set aside for your out of pocket max every single year and you'd just keep going. This is great. In that way, I hate that you got an accident.
Yeah. Yeah. The thing I would plan for Luke is I'm assuming you work hourly as a welder. Uh, yeah. So those, when you have spinal surgery and when you have two knee replacements, you're going to be out of work for a season, right? For from both knee surgeries, my doctor said roughly six months. Okay. Probably. So you may want to hold that. There it goes. You may want to hold that amount of money that you would have potentially earned. And would you put that in high yield savings account?
Yeah. I'd maybe do a separate since this is kind of a, this is a outlier. I'd keep your, your normal three to six months of expenses, six months of expenses. And then kind of like what we would treat if you knew you're getting laid off or something and I'd start stacking up knowing that this six months of no work is coming and put a separate thing there and say, okay, this is for that surgery because you're going to have the ability to do that.
And that's, that's one of the things that going into this and saying whatever, however we choose to live, let's do it without a payment. That's going to make your life a lot less stressful knowing that you have no debt. You know, anybody, nobody can take your house. Nobody can, that's going to give you a lot of peace. All right. Awesome. Thank you guys. Hey, we wish you a great recovery brother. We wish you a health and healing. Oh, man, let's go out to Columbus and talk to Brianna.
Hey, Brianna, what's up? Hey, how's it going? We're doing all right. How can we help? Oh, just trying to get past my, graduate my degree of dumbness. So I went to that school too. Oh, yes. So I have, I have a question for you based on what do I do with my negative equity? Do I, he asked my negative equity before, after I take it to Carmack and see how much they'll give it. You're not taking it to Carmack's. That's number one. Tell us more about the car.
Tell us what you owe and tell us what it's worth. It is a GNC train, I owe 16,000 managers worth 68. Oh, man. Did you roll negative equity into it? No, I didn't know it. I have 13% interest rate. Wow. And I've had it for a year. Wow. Okay. Your ship said that they were placed fluids in the transmission and such when they then told me just like a month ago, that's not the case because I've been dealing with this often on for over two months. So is the car falling apart on you?
The transfer case went out on it. We got that fluids. The torque converter is starting and which is making the transmission act out. Okay. What a mess. Okay. My husband and I are thinking of just leaving it set. My husband is actually completing a job to give us money for a group D for him. We've spent so much money in the past two years. This is our third vehicle in two years that we've had to drain money into. Okay. Another two were paid off. What other debt do you have?
Let's put this in perspective. What other debt do you have? So that drain a 2012 badge, 1500, that's around the same. And then fine. Wait, when you say around the same, you mean that you owe 16,000 and it's only worth eight? No. It's the truck is worth the payments for the wellness for 16,000. Not sure what it's worth. Okay. Here's the thing that you need to, here's what we need to talk about when it comes to these cars really quickly before we go.
The key here is that we want to be in less debt. So if that means you taking out a small loan from the credit union in order to clear this difference so you can get rid of the vehicle and you're buying the cheapest cash car known to man. That's the only way that you're going to get out of this and you've learned a very hard but very valuable lesson to never have a car payment again. You don't want these cars to be any more than 50% of your annual salary.
That's the rule going forward and this is the Ramsey show. Hey you guys, emergencies happen in life. Your dishwasher breaks and floods the kitchen. Your AC goes out in the middle of the summer. Situations like those are why we teach people to have an emergency fund. And when it comes to medical emergencies, there is a medical emergency kit from the wellness company.
It's great for when you need medicines right away and can't wait for the pharmacy to open and who has time to wait in line at urgent care. Medical emergency kits from the wellness company aren't band-aids in Tylenol. Your medical emergency kit has antibiotics and medicines for over 30 common illnesses like strep throat, pneumonia, UTIs and more. These are doctor-prepared prescriptions like Z-PAC, a Moxasillin and Avarmectin. So they're like having an urgent care in your home.
Just answer a few questions at urgentcarekit.com slash Ramsey and your medical emergency kit is shipped right to your door and use the promo code Ramsey at checkout to save 15%. I have one and you should too. That's urgentcarekit.com slash Ramsey. Use the promo code Ramsey. Welcome back, this is the Ramsey Show, AAA8255225. The Ramsey Show question of the day is brought to you by Why Refi? If you're in default with private student loans, contact Why Refi.
And obviously we don't encourage letting your loans get to default and we also don't encourage everybody to go consolidate everything. There's a very specific challenge and it's these private student loans and we teach responsibility but these amounts have some of you struggling and this is a way forward. Why Refi was created for people in your very situation? So go to WhyRefi.com slash Ramsey. That's why R-E-F-Y dot com slash Ramsey and this may not be available in all states.
Today's question comes from Evie and Massachusetts. She says, I do not feel comfortable sharing finances with my boyfriend though he's been eager to do so, he's supposed to contribute to our monthly bills but it is always a few months behind. His truck and boat payments are set up to auto withdraw from my accounts. At any given time he owes me around $15,000. This has been going on for five years.
He works for himself but that work is only really busy for four to six months of the year during which he makes really good money. He wants to get married but I cannot allow myself to be legally tied to him unless he turns everything around. I had a recent cancer diagnosis and feel like I need to make a will to protect my assets for my children and I'm scared to let him know my wishes. Honestly he's a good man who loves me and my children more than anything. I love him and trust him.
I'm just at the end of my rope with his inability to manage money responsibly. I think in addition to why Reify this question is also brought to you by some sort of hemorrhoid ointment because I have those based off this call. There's a delusion going on here. I think the first thing Evie needs to do is go to a mirror and look in it. He does have an inability to manage money and you do too. You've got his truck and his boat payments coming out of auto withdrawing from your accounts.
You're sharing money with somebody you're not married to and you've got kids from I'm assuming a previous marriage and y'all are all tangled up in this mess with no legal protection and it's an absolute wreck. By the way if you quote unquote love him and trust him your body wouldn't be screaming as you did not have this level of vulnerability and openness with him. There's something else here.
I think you want to love him and you want to trust him and he's not proving trustworthy and you're finding yourself in a situation that you don't want to be in. Jay these things like it's just like by degrees right and you wake up and you are completely underwater and you can't swim, you can't breathe and you're chained to the bottom of the pool and you don't even know how to happen and it's just easy to blame somebody else. But wow wow wow wow.
I mean I feel like just looking at I mean obviously we could point out the obvious things like you said you're not married and you're sharing finances. Everything is coming out like there's some things that are very obvious but then there's like listen. It's currently works six months out of the year. He only makes works six months out of the year but I'm like the track record doesn't.
The financial track record is terrible if you're saying it's been like this for five years that for me and I'm not the expert here but I'm like that feels that's tat amount to just using you that feels that's the way it feels. I'm only getting that from this you know one letter here but that let's say this what the behavior is a language.
Yeah. He told you for five years I don't care what you think I don't care what you feel I don't care about your kids I care about working really hard for a couple of months out of the year after year I care about my truck and I care about my boat and let's get married. Right. You said it best he cares about himself and at the end of the day Evie's got to care about Evie. Well what would cause her and so many of us to get comfortable with the situation that's clearly so dysfunctional.
Again it happens by degrees I think it can be that we we so badly want and sometimes we feel like we need a situation a job a marriage a relationship to work because we can't see ourselves on the other side of that that we just we just wash over all the negativity other times it happens like I said happens just one inch at a time he comes home and he bought a truck and he he auto drafted out of your account. Can we do this on your account?
We're just going to put it all I'm just going to put all in the account that big checks coming next month and it'll be fine and that check doesn't come next month and then he's like he gets a boat and it's fun for the kids and suddenly you wake up and it's been
five years and you realize I'm building a life with somebody that I'm across that doesn't work that doesn't tell me the truth yeah I don't know how to untangle this and the easiest way to untangle things is just to start pointing fingers at other people and really the first place you got to go is the mirror when you find yourself all wound up you got to go to the mirror first.
So what then what would we say our action steps for her because she wrote a letter she's like I'm at the end of my rope I don't she thinks it's just a money thing we know it's far beyond that so what what's the action steps. I think action step number one is to sit down and say from this point forward I'm not auto-drafting stuff out of my account I have to protect me and my children.
Yeah so your stuff goes to your account might so we separate the funds that's new number one number two if you're not going to contribute financially you're not living this home and that's a bigger question which is you want you're keep asking me to get married you want to build this life and you are not showing me on a day to day basis that that's the world you want to create and I can't like she's trying to do it.
She's trying to she's thinking logically about like I got to protect my family she's just doing it in a sideways way which I need to make a will to protect my assets. No you need to stop letting somebody else just take money out of your account. It's almost like she's thinking through a marriage lens of hey we're sharing our money we're making a will if I'm sick he's taking care of my kid but they don't have that institution in place to protect them. Yeah right.
And she doesn't she's not doesn't have a person that she trusts or is a person of integrity that's doing this with her right. So I would begin to say what can I control out of this situation I can control my bank account I can control what money comes out of my account. I can control whether I'm going to continue to play a house for five years with somebody that I don't trust and that doesn't work even year round.
I mean those are the hard hard conversations and by just looking at this I think we all know what that means. Yeah. Big red flag is I'm scared to let him know my wishes. That's it. If you are with somebody for five years and you can't sit across the table and be honest and vulnerable and open that person is not for you. That's a that's a tough situation that you find yourself in. So EVI calls somebody you can walk through this with you because it's a tangled mess.
This is like a whip lash on a on an open faced fish and real man this is hard to just untangle by yourself and so get somebody with you and walk alongside you and the end of the day you're worth more than this mess that you all have created together and we wish you peace in your relationships. Scott the San Antonio and talk to Jesus. What's up, Jesus? I'm up against the clock so get right to your question. All right. I got you right now. Thank you. You guys were taking my call.
You got what's up? So my car just broke down. I still owe six thousand on the car loan and it has 13 thousand dollars in student loans. I've done my first baby steps. I stayed a thousand dollars of an emergency fund. I stayed my credit card off and I currently have a job that makes eighty seven thousand dollars a year. Apart from the need for a car, I just don't know how to save and as silly as it sounds, I just started listening to the Ramsey show. So my mind is changing how to use money.
I guess my biggest question is what's my action stuff and nice action stuff. I mean, so you've got the six thousand dollar car but it's broken down right now. Correct. How much is it going to cost to fix it? But maybe three K. Okay. That's that's a lot for a six thousand dollar car. Have you been putting that kind of money into it a lot lately? No, not at all. Not at all. Okay. Then we're getting it fixed. That's for, I mean, you got to be able to get around.
So how quickly could you, if you temporarily like pause the baby steps right quick, how quickly could you get that money together to get this car fixed? Of course, six. I have it already. Oh. I have it already, but I was going to get frustrated. So I already asked, I already going to prove by my bank with the twenty five thousand dollar loan. No, no, no, no. Yeah. I mean, the car was broken down and it cost three thousand to get it fixed. Fix it. The goal is to get a debt, bro.
Not get more debt. Get to zero. Yeah. John makes a good point. If you don't hear anything else from this call, you can't solve a problem while simultaneously creating it. Debt is your problem. If you keep borrowing money, you're going to continue to be in debt. So you've got to draw a line in the sand. You say, I'm not borrowing money anymore from this point forward. Spend three thousand dollars, get your car fixed and then it's on to baby step two.
You list the debts out from smallest to largest. So the car comes first. You put as much money as you can to that debt till you paid off, then you attack the student loan. That's it. All you can do is add side hustles to this to make it happen faster. That's it for hour one here on the Ramsey show. We'll be right back. Hope to see you soon. Before we get to the next caller, I got some good news for you.
Even when this portion of today's show runs out of time, there's still plenty more for you to tune into. It's head on over to the Ramsey Network app to finish today's show for free right there on the home screen. And if you don't have the app, just search Ramsey Network in the App Store Google Play or simply click the link in the show notes for an easy download. You never know what call is coming up next. So be sure and check out the Ramsey Network app.
Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey show. I'm John Deloney joined by Jade Warshall. We're here to help you with your money, your relationships, your mental and emotional health, your work, whatever you got going on in your life. We've got an opinion that's going to be worth about what you pay for it, which is nothing but give us a buzz. It triplates 825-225. We are live. Let's go out to Laredo, Texas and talk to Joshua. Hey Joshua, what's up, man?
Hi, Dr. Deloney and Jade Warshall and fanboying so crazy right now, I can't believe I'm talking to you guys. Fanboy too, it's great to hear from you. What's up? Well, I'm just having a lot of trouble with how to emotionally deal with my mother and my wife's relationship and my mother's relationship with my sons. What's going on? Yeah, what happened, man? I just feel like my mom could do a lot more for her own grandkids and to be able to fix a relationship with my wife.
What happened between her and your wife? So whenever my wife and I started our high school sweethearts, pretty much and my mom didn't like me going out with her. And then when I was a little when to go ask for her hand, she said that she didn't want me to marry her because she thought her family was going to take advantage of me. I asked her why and I honestly don't remember what she said.
And then now that we have kids, my wife feels like she could do a lot more of a grandma and I feel the same way too. Have your conversation with your mom? Have you brought it up to her? I've brought it up to her before and she says that because at first my wife would see favoritism between my oldest and my youngest and my wife. Hey, Josh. I don't want you to offload this on your wife. I want you to take responsibility for this and this phone call with me.
Okay. What are you experiencing with your mom? Is she treating you and your kids and your wife differently? I feel like she just stops me. I don't think you know what I'm doing. Let's don't traffic and feels right this second. Feels important but not right now. Is she treating everybody differently? I'm not out of her character. She's just like that. I don't know what that means. Why? She always helps out everybody else before herself and her own family. That's what I feel.
And have you sat down and said, hey, mom, I would love for you to be more involved in our family and here's a couple of ways that you could do that. No, not like that. Not necessarily. Okay. I think at some point you have you as her son don't pawn this off on your wife but you as her son sit down with mom and say, mom, I have this picture of you as grandma of our little ones and you've been our writer, die and I would love for you to show up in these ways.
And then I'm going to list these pick them up. Kids up from school show up after school. You can be with us, go to holidays, do Sunday lunches after church or whatever the things are instead of this amorphous. Well I think that this and I feel this, you see what I'm saying? Let's make this pretty specific and give your mom a chance to show up in the ways that you guys would like to see her show up or the hard part of this relationship is she might not. That's very true.
I think that if you have expectations, it's unfair to at least not communicate them and then they're just a bad guy and they don't necessarily know why. But at least if you said, here's what I thought it was going to look like or here's what, you know, and some of it may be fair, some of it may be unfair, but at least you're talking about it.
Then at least she has a chance to say, okay, now she can do with this whatever she will and if she decides, yeah, your expectation is different than what I thought I was going to do, then at least you can kind of put the situation to bed as opposed to having this continuously like unmet expectation that you never talk about. That feels... It's just kind of cruel because your mom doesn't know what standard to live up to.
And here's the other deal, Josh. Does your wife know that your mom didn't want you all to get married? Yes, she knows and my wife doesn't feel comfortable with her anymore because of a lot of stuff that has happened in the past and that's another major issue. Like, well, like that one time that I told you, we're going to get engaged.
My mom said that she thought her family is going to take advantage of me and then she would talk about her parents really bad because she would be hanging out at the house pretty late and we weren't doing anything bad. It's just that she thought that it was better parents were bad parents and stuff like that. What made her think that? Is there something specific? Is it a financial thing? Is there more to that? No, not that I can think of. I don't know.
We're just teenagers and we're just hanging out. Hold on. I'm 26 years old. How long we going to hang on to that? Mom said some dumb, rude things about your girlfriend's parents when you were dating. However, many years ago, now you'll have kids like the situation's changed. Is she still hanging on to that or is it you guys hanging on to that? I think it's us. Every time your wife comes in, does she look at her and go, oh my gosh, I can't believe you married her.
Her parents and family are disgusting. They're taking advantage of you. Does she still talk like that? No, she just keeps quiet. Okay. Maybe she's ashamed of what she said about you guys when you were dating and now your wife's turned out to be a pretty amazing woman and a good mother to your kids and a good co-creator of the world, you all are creating together and she doesn't know how to re-enter that conversation. Who knows?
My guess is your mom saw her little boy dating, falling head over heels for some girl and she didn't know how to say, you're my baby boy and she didn't want to date anybody and she just ran her mouth. Is there is that a possibility? Yes, that is a possibility. Okay. Have your wife's parents taken advantage of you?
No. Okay. So I think that the time now is to stop wishing your mom would live up to a standard that you guys are kind of a morpheus and I think it's time to let things that were said when our teenagers go and let's sit down with mom and say, we miss you and we want you in our life in this way. And I know that you didn't want me to marry her. I did. We've got a family and we want you to be a part of it. You get to choose.
Because I really don't, I mean, Jade, tell me if I'm crazy, I don't know another option, Josh, then just to sit here and have this weird, these weird feelings and your wife's going to have to forgive. Mm-hmm. Am I crazy? No, no, no, no. I think. And I also would like, I would never like, I also was growing up.
I would never defend my wife in certain things that would happen with my family the way they would treat her non-realizing what I've been doing wrong and I'm trying to change that and putting boundaries. So I think maybe that could be a thing that's how they would react in certain way. And you're also allowed to say nobody is allowed to talk about my wife that way.
And if you all choose to talk about my wife that way, then you all are choosing for me to leave because I'm going to walk out the door and my family's coming with me. I hope you will choose not to do that. And apologize. Take your wife's by both hands and look her in the eye or hold her face and look at her eye and say, I did not stick up for you when I was a kid and I'm sorry. And I let things go and I shouldn't have and I'm really sorry.
But a lot of what you're talking about sounds like yellow trafficking in the past and you've got two kids or 26 years old, you're a grown man, you're creating a life together and if you want your family with it, you've got to give them a chance to step up. Does that sound right, Jade? 100%. All right, let's live moving forward, man, and give your family a chance to step up or to step out. This is the Ramsey Show.
Hey, it's Rachel Cruz and I'm pumped to tell you that the new 2025 Ramsey goal planner is here with all new encouragement and guidance from Dr. John Deloney, Jade Warshaw and me. You'll get what you need to stay focused and organized to go after the life you want, financially, relationally and spiritually. Plus this year's planner is so beautiful with a new cover of Visionboard and all the features you love. It sells out every year. So head to ramseysolutions.com slash store.
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It's got to Pittsburgh and talk to Tyler. Hey, Tyler, what's up, brother? Hey, Tyler. Hey, I'm doing good. How are you? That's you, man. I'm John. Good to see you. I can't see. Good to talk to you. I'm going to start to whole thing over. Hey, Tyler. Hey, how you doing, John? Great. Great. What's up? Hey, nothing much. So looking to purchase a McLaren 600LT spider, the car is too old. Wow. That's just a couple hundred grand. Good for you. Thank you. Thank you.
But it's probably going to be the biggest purchase of my life next to the house that I live in. Can I take something, Holarius? I'm currently negotiating with James Childs over like a 98 for runner. Like literally, he just took his head into talk about it. So go ahead with your McLaren purchase, Tyler. So really, I mean, I'm just looking for some professional advice here on the purchase because obviously it's a pretty happy price tag. I think I'm in a good financial position to afford the car.
What's a cost? I wanted to turn this to the next verse. The cost is 223,000. Wow. Wow. I just don't even know how to act. Okay, cool. I'm going to act really nonchalant. Cool. Okay, cool. What's your net worth? It's around 1.4 million right now. Nice. Okay. Looking good. Let's find out. Are you paying cash for the car? I can. But I know that there's also benefits with a leasing structure.
My own a small tech company, so I also am earning about 5.3% right now on my high yield interest saving the car. Okay. So, you know, if I should leave some money in there or if I should pay cash for the car? I mean, if you're calling us, the only way I would get this car is if you paid cash for it because you can afford it and it's done and done. I'm assuming that you don't have any other debt laying around that would change my mind here.
I've got $15,000 on another auto loan, but that's locked in at 3.5 right now. And since my savings account is earning more than that, did you say you have a $15,000 loan laying around? I do. Why? You could be totally free. I could be totally free. And I know that that's what you're big on. The big reason why I'm not is because it's locked in at 3.5. I'm not going to be locked in at 0. I'd be locked in at 0. Have you factored in depreciation?
You're losing money because you're taking a 5% count against your 3 point whatever it is, but your car is going down in value. Right. And so, your calculation, you think you're winning and you're not. And you're saying based on depreciation only. I'm saying number one, you're not because there's a psychology to this. And I know that nobody wants to factor that in. But part two is, yeah, the car is worth less money every day. You drive it.
And you keep saying you're locked in and I keep going, yeah, that's the problem. You're locked in. No matter what happens to your finances, no matter what this car bottoms out at, you're still paying that same amount of money across the board. I'm just telling you what I do in my house. I would pay it off right this second. You're a millionaire. You have a $50,000 car to what are you doing? Well, let's keep talking because I want to know more. I want to know what's your income every year?
So I'm on salary with my company for about 110 a year and then I pull a bonus that's between about 90 and 120 a year. Okay. And I will we do. Okay. So that puts you at about 200,000 a year. You're going to spend a lot of time. You're not looking good. I'm just letting you know right now Tyler, it's not looking good for you. Let's keep rolling out the number. Tell us about your home. So this Lakesfront condo, I visit in Cleveland with some family.
It's fully owned and it's about $300,000 is the appraised value. That's what it's worth and it's fully owned. What other properties do you have any other properties that have mortgages? Nope. It's fully owned. That's the only property. Okay. So it's really just this $15,000 car and then between the property and your other investments, you're at 1.4 million net worth, but your income is 200,000. Yeah, you could say 200. Yep. And I'm maxing out the 401k, maxing out the IRA, $100,000 savings.
I think you're doing really, really, really, really, really, really well. But here's just a couple of rule of thumbs. I have a feeling that you're going to go and do what you want to do. But let me just give you some just food for thought here. Typically we would say if you are a net, you know, if you're a baby steps millionaire, your net worth is a million dollars or more, you have the ability to buy a brand new vehicle. Outright.
Like, at that point you've done well enough that if you spend the right amount, you should be able to put that money in a pile and burn it to the ground and your heart rate shouldn't change, right? But then there's another parameter to that where we say, okay, but it shouldn't be any more than half of your annual salary. And if you do this McLaren, you are at more than your annual salary.
So if you said, hey, I want to buy a $100,000 car outright or I want to buy, you know, even if you said it was like 105 or 120, I'd probably be like, yeah, let's do it. But I really do think because of your annual salary, I think that this is too much car for you. I think if we took that $223 and I, you know, did a wily coyote and I put some dynamite on it and blew it up in the middle of the desert, I think that you would start sweating. Yeah, I know what you mean. What's your right?
Absolutely. So I don't think it's. I mean, it's my opinion. And it is mine, but I don't think you're quite, I wouldn't do it if I were in your shoes. Yeah, can I ask you, like if somebody called and they made 60 grand a year and they had a paid for a condo and they said they wanted to buy a $60,000 car. I would say, please don't do that because you're putting yourself, you're putting yourself at a pretty significant financial risk. What is it about this $200,000 car?
What is it about this car that's got you got you got you by the guts? And I think that's going to be the game changing question. Hopefully is that they only made 345 of these cars. They're an extremely limited production. So it's rare and it's pretty much being considered a collector's item at this point. And I think it will maintain its value if not appreciate over time because obviously cars in this caliper are depreciating rocks in most of the time. Is it a P1? No denying that.
No, that'd be a million dollar car man, I wish. Okay, which one do you have? Because I'm just doing a cursory look here and it said outside of the P1, McLaren's are losing 30% of their, they depreciate pretty quick. You know what I want to argue with you, you know what I drive an old truck. So I'm clearly biased. I'm clearly biased here. Like I just don't put money to appreciating assets. If you think it will go up, I just can't imagine spending a whole year salary on cars.
Well there's a part of this scale though. Let's be honest. There's a, let's go back to that, you know, half of your yearly salary. There is a part of that equation that if your net worth were a certain amount, I probably I throw that, I jade would throw that out the window. So you can hold me to that. I don't, at 1.4 and knowing that if you were pulling out of this investment tape to make that happen and make you go down to 1.2, I just don't feel comfortable with that.
If you had called me and said, hey, my net worth is even 3 million, I might be like, oh, okay. Yeah. Or what's your cash position, though? Yeah. How much cash do you have in the bank? In the bank right now, I've got about 350,000. And that's aside from the 1.4 million. That's a part of the 1.4. It's a part of the 1.4. The 1.4 is obviously the combo that I own and then the EBITDA. Yeah. I think I'm the sole owner.
If I walk up in your shoes and I loved cars the way you did, I feel like it's too soon. I'm still sticking to that 50% rule. If my net worth were higher, I'd probably reconsider. So do with that what you will. I want to try to convince you to get a nice new Highlander. Stop. He's not getting a Highlander, John. Get a Highlander. I'm not even getting a Highlander, John. Hey guys, Rachel Cruz here. Some people think budgeting means they can't have any fun with money.
And I know this because that was me. But the truth is, budgeting doesn't limit your freedom. It actually gives you freedom. A budget is simply telling your money where to go. And the best way to do this is with every dollar, my favorite budgeting app. It'll help you create a plan for your money that fits your lifestyle. The weather is a spontaneous date night or an epic Disney cruise budget for some fun. Download every dollar for free today. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show.
And right here in Nashville on the debt free stage right inside Ramsey Solutions headquarters. Jay and Yvette are here from Raleigh, North Carolina. How much of you guys paid off? We have paid $91,168.80 in student loan debt. A student loan debt? Yes. Not that we're counting each penny. I was. Wow. How long did that take? It took us about nine months. Nine months. Okay. All right, tell me that story. So about a decade ago, my brother gave me this year Ramsey Buck.
Yeah. I'm a little bit hardheaded sometimes. It took me a few years and I opened it back up, got my budget sorted out a little bit better. Once we got married in December 17, 2022, my wife and I sat down. We had a planning and financial and planning meeting in which we laid out the plan for our next so many years, five years or so financially, what we wanted to do and what kind of life we want to have for now. We're going to serve God.
And so we looked at, we laid out what it was, three years worth of debt repayment. There we was going to take a, and we didn't want to put life on hold just so that we can pay off debt for years and years and years and get off and stay on that treadmill. So basically we sat down, had the meeting, had a planning session and I laid out, this will take us maybe a year, year and a half if we make sacrifices. Uh huh. So what were you making? Because you did this in nine months.
Yes. So when we first started out, we were making about $125,000 between the two of us. Okay. I am a registered nurse and my husband is a technical engineer with Cisco. Okay. So then once we finished the plan and we realized we need to increase our income if we want to do this in less than three years, which is what we calculated. It would take us to do if we stayed with the current income. So then as a registered nurse, I had some options on what I could do.
So we, we talked it over and we're like, okay, let's do trauma nursing. So we looked into it. He's the numbers guys. He lays out the budget and he looks into them. We research, we look to see what areas and what each region of the country we're paying. So we decided to move to Missouri, sent Louis, Missouri for about a year. Wow. So we increased our income drastically, I would say. And that's the reason it took us nine months. So what do you increase it to?
Between the two of us in it being about a little over 200,000 miles or two to the two of us. Wow. That's amazing. So you dropped it from nine months, from three years to nine months. Correct. And that took though, and man, what y'all did, we talked about this off-air a lot, just like, man, somebody calls and they say, hey, I want to live in Manhattan. I want to be a book editor. I want to pay off 100 grand of student loans. And we always said, man, one of those variables has to give.
And y'all said, we are going to make a one year sacrifice living in a town with a community of people we don't know, a place we don't know. But we researched it. Here's where we can get the most ahead, the most bang for a buck, right? The lowest cost of living plus the highest return. And I'm assuming Jay, you can work from anywhere. Work from home. That's amazing. And y'all just moved somewhere and did y'all still live there? Have y'all now moved? We are. Aren't our way home actually. Come on.
I love that. Just told on, we're going home. So great. The book you're holding is the Total Money Makeover. Tell me what was the light bulb moment? What made you go? You know what? Yes, this guy knows what he's talking about. I'd say over years of listening to the program on the radio, it takes a while for it to sing it. It's not a distinct moment. And that's the same as any kind of journey you're on. It takes some time for things to sing in. Same for you, you bet?
I would say just looking at it and just like three years is a long time. And we had just gotten married. And of course, I won't have a baby. So I'm like, three years is a long time. We both agreed that we would wait to get out of debt before we started family planning. So I'm like three years or cut it down to a year if we move and just do what needs to be done for a year. Again, make that sacrifice for a temporary sacrifice to get a long term goal going.
It's not sustainable if you're planning on doing it for years and years. Because El Mote is designed so that you can do it in a short period of time. Wow. So tell us what it's like. You know, paint us a picture of what it felt like before. You got a whole of, you know, total money makeover and Ramsey principles. And then paint us a picture of what your life feels like. As I'm trying to leave, leave a family. You have a lot of pressure on your shoulders.
And so you don't want to be not able to provide for your family. And ultimately, having a system that both tells you, yeah, there's a lot of scary things out there, but you have a way to deal with it. A system that works that's biblically based that you can actually apply and you know you're, even if it fails, you're still trying your best. That's what mattered to me. But what's important as well is that it did not fail. We're here. That's right.
Hey, Yvette, can you speak to those who are out there, they are in love with somebody who loves himself a spreadsheet. And they don't. And they have dream. I know. I could see it. And they have dreams what they want their life to be. And if it wasn't for that spreadsheet, loving friend of theirs or marriage partner theirs, they would just go on about their life. There can be some shame there. There can be some, oh, I brought this dead into this mirror. There can be that heaviness, right?
And it sounds like you, you, yep, here it is. It's on a table. And there's a lightness about you that was like, yep, I did. And we're going to go make this right and we're going to get on about our lives. What would you say to that person who doesn't want it on the table, doesn't want to talk about it? Is carrying that? Well, this is my dead. I brought this into the marriage or this, whatever relationship I mean. What would you say to that person?
For me, first of all, I didn't really feel the burden that I brought the debt into the marriage because it was very clear that, okay, this is ours now. Before we got married through marriage, we were going to put out things together and become one. So I didn't really have any burden on that regard. I love that. I was just, as far as bringing things into the table when he brought it over, we had probably a two hour long business meeting that for me. And I was just, I didn't have a break.
And I get a little bit of a break after five minutes, like, do it and frag it for me. That was one of the greatest two hours of Jay's life. Yes. And for me. But after that meeting, and once I saw the numbers and it made sense, I was like, okay, let's do what we need to do. And the most important things out of all of this is the fact that we came under one unified plan. I saw the plan. I agreed with the plan.
I knew what it would take to put that plan into action, but I also saw the work that he put it into it and that together we could do it. So it was just selling me on that together. We can do it together. We can do it. So we agreed. We unified ourselves and we did it. It took six months after we were married before we actually did the travel nursing. So it was not forcing it owner to, to up and leave. I can't put that on my wife. That's not, that's not wouldn't be fair. So it took six months.
So once we laid it out and then we saw the numbers. Six months later, it wasn't like, hey, we're married, we're jumping and doing it. Good for you guys. So who is your biggest champions through this time? I would say our families, they've been through the journey with us. Just kind of like hearing like, sorry guys, we can't do this, we're getting out of that. I'm sorry, we can't do this weekend, we're trying to get out of that.
So for, they were very patient with us, just understanding as well, just like, hey, I'm sorry, this got a little too much. And of course, the budget, we stuck with the budget. And even with us, if there's something that needs to be, that we need to buy or want to buy rather, it's just like, where's the money coming from? On the spender, so she keeps me alive a little bit. Oh, you're the spender. Which is weird, right? Yeah, the nerd is the spender. Interesting. But we have a question.
Yes, we have a question. All right. Is it in the budget? There you go. There you go. Well, Jay, in your vet, paid off 91,000, say the number again, I'll let you say it. 91,168 dollars and any cents. In nine months, you packed up, you moved across the country, you all made a whole bunch of sacrifices and you knocked this out because you've got bigger dreams ahead. We're so proud of you. Thank you. Come down to it. Count it down. Let's hear your debt free screen.
We're down free. Wow. So Jay, you know when they count one two three, it's going to hit different than when they count three to one. Yeah, dude. We talk about this all the time. It's almost always, how fast should you get out? What kinds of sacrifices are you willing to make? Yeah. We take new jobs, we'll just get super, super uncomfortable. So, and I loved how they said it, so we can get on with the rest of our life. I love it, I love it, I love it.
If you're listening out there in Radio Land or Podcast Land, this could be you too. This could be you too. We are rooting for you and we're here with you. We'll be right back on the range to show. Listen, tickets for the live like no one else crews are selling fast. This is the ultimate debt free vacation and I can't wait to celebrate with all the folks who've worked their butts off and changed their family trees.
We will be sailing through the blue waters of the Caribbean with the Ramsay personalities and other special guests. A bunch of cabin options are already sold out, so hurry and reserve yours with a $600 deposit today at RamsaySolutions.com slash events. Welcome back to the Ramsay Show. I'm John Deloney joined by Jade Warshall, AAA8255225. That's AAA8255225. All right, we are heading into the fall and it's time. It's time.
Those of you out there who went B-A-N-A-N-S with your money this summer going to every summer camp and sending your kids to every whatever traveling. We'll just pay for it later or we'll later is here. This fall, let's get your money in the right place. I want you to join Rachel Cruz and the every dollar team for free live training, free live training on Wednesday, August 28th at one Eastern time, 12 central to help you get clarity with your money.
You can register for free at www.everydollar.com slash webinar. I have heard, if you say www, it means you're 100 years old. Go to everydollar.com slash webinar. Over 100,000 people have registered for this free live training in the past and now it's your turn. The number one way to eliminate debt is to budget. The number one way to build wealth is to budget and the number one way to get on the same page with your spouse about money is to budget.
The number one way to eliminate stress in your financial life you got is to budget. It's time. You know it's time. Go shame. Let's just sit down and get this stuff squared away. Everydollar.com slash webinar, August 28th, free with Rachel Cruz. Let's go out to the 505 Albuquerque, New Mexico and talk to Ez Morel. Ez Morel, what's up? Hey guys, you know I just had a question. I'm right now engaged with my fiance for five years and five years telling her let's go. I know.
We're kind of not in the rush. We'd like to get all our debt and every dollar begaid out of the way before we kind of tie the knot. Why? Why? Trust me, you're going to break plenty of baggage into this marriage. He was married before and got out of the divorce some debt and I guess he just kind of wanted to start fresh in this new venture. Oh, so you're saying he wants to clean up his debt before marrying you? Is that it? I believe so. Yes. How do you feel about that?
Are you fine to jump into it together? You know I've been supportive 100% of the way and I'm ready to get our life started but I do understand where he's coming from. What's the debt? How much is it? I think he's about 25, 30,000 in the hole right now and I have a little bit of debt myself. How much? I have about 40,000. 35 is my car and 10 and I guess personal loans and credit cards. Did you know that you can go further, faster together?
You know I've been listening to Ramsey and everybody on the Ramsey network for about a couple of months now and I'm really kind of just trying to get everything in control and I really want to get debt free and I want to jump into this. I'm ready. Yeah. Can you tell him that? Getting him on track with me. Yeah. I think that's the conversation you need to have because it's one thing to not be in a rush but five years is like a snail's pay list. Like a snail past you. That's pretty slow.
Yeah. It's crazy how the time has passed. Listen, and this is not just for you. This is for anybody listening. Debt is not a reason to postpone your life together. If you're with the person that you know you want to marry, debt is not a reason to postpone that. Work together. Pay it off together. Get married. Like that. It's not.
People call in and they say, well, as soon as I get myself together, then I'll, you know, as soon as I pay off my debt, then I'm like, I don't think that's the same person for like 45 years. I'm still getting myself together. I got a long way to go. So you're like, you're going to figure it out. The bigger conversation is that you're on the same page about money. Do you see what I'm saying? It's not about, hey, I have 50,000. Let me clean it up. She has $70,000. Let her clean it up.
Because you could both clean up your debt but if the behavior hasn't changed, that same person is going to go back into 50 or $70,000 of debt. So the most important thing is, if you want to get yourself together before getting married, then decide what your views are on money and debt going forward. So that's the only thing that you need to get on lock, you know, financially beforehand. So I'd be asking him, I'd be saying, listen, we both have debt. We both had lives before we met each other.
We both made mistakes. Okay. How do you feel going forward? Because I've been listening to this Ramsey thing and maybe don't even say that first. Just say, let him say what his views are and then you go, okay, got it. And then you say, well, if they're opposing, say, well, I've been listening to this, you know, Ramsey network and I really don't want to mess with debt anymore. I really want it out of my life.
I know that we have plans to clean up our debt but I don't even want to go into debt anymore after that. And those are the things you need to be talking about. And I really want to build wealth and I really want to be one of those people that invests, you know, 15% of their money into their 401k. Like those are the things that you need to be talking about. Not paying off your debt before you say I do. So we've been all really good about putting into our 401k, getting things set up.
We're doing really well in that aspect. It's just kind of, I guess, taking control of the little bits of debt that we have outside of that. And once it leaves the account and it goes directly into the 401k, it doesn't bother us. It's having to pay it is, I think, what kind of scares him. And he says sometimes he doesn't like to look at his bank account and see how much money he has and he's kind of nervous about that. So I thought about maybe combining our bank account.
No, no, no, no, no. No, as the great Beyonce said, not until he puts a ring on. No, no, no. Also said, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's right. Dude, as Meryl that no, do not combine your bank accounts. Yeah, don't do that. What you're trying to do is fix his problem by taking control of it yourself. If his problem is he's an ostrich and he's bearing his head in the sand, he needs to be a big boy and come up and go, no, I've got to look at this with both eyes wide open, see what it is.
If you say, oh, you're afraid to look at it. I'll just put it in my account and I'll just do it for you. That is something that you definitely don't want to start. Here's what I want to walk through with you. Before you get off the line, we're going to give you a financial peace university.
I think you and him need to go through it together and let us teach you all the parameters around this because even you talking as Meryl, I can tell that you're wanting to do the right thing, but you're doing a lot of the right things in the wrong order and it's going to cause you to go slower. So it's going to walk through the baby steps. Yeah, I find it every dollar app too and I haven't really gotten all the use out of it that I know I can.
But I kind of need him to be on the same page with me as a while. That's true, but you do, but right now you guys are doing your money separately. He won't marry you right now. So you got to care you. You can't keep waiting around from him. Yeah, you really can't because you might also find right now, right now, in the financial side of things, I've heard nothing but yellow and red flags.
Okay. So you guys get to deal with those, but I want, as Meryl, to come away from here and know, okay, I know what I'm doing. I'm walking these seven baby steps. The first one is I'm getting a thousand dollars saved. And if I have more money saved beyond that, then I'm going to throw it at baby step two, which is I'm paying off all of my consumer debt, everything except my mortgage. And I'm not investing, by the way, until I do that because I need that money to pay off this $40,000 of debt.
And then you're going to save up as Meryl to three to six months of expenses, your expenses, what it costs to live your life and do your budget. And then as Meryl, after you've done that, then you would begin investing 15% of your income every single month. That is your gross amount, the amount before taxes is what I want you putting away. And so I want you focused on those first four baby steps on your own until this guy decides that he wants to put a ring on it, you know.
And as Meryl, I think you can be okay sitting down and saying, I want to do the rest of my life with you. I'm ready. And Jada, I always, I always feel like an excuse to me. Yeah. And I always feel like, well, whenever this happens and then whenever this happens, it's only $25,000 a day, he should have been had that paid off. I know it. As Meryl, probably sell your car. We could dig in that on another call, but probably sell your car. Most of yours is, is that, is that vehicle?
I'm just saying him. Oh, heck yeah. It's the problem. Yeah. It's $25,000. Bro. For all of you listening to the show on YouTuber podcast, it's about to end, but more calls are coming up in the Ramsey Network Mobile app. The Ramsey Network app is the only place to finish full episodes of the radio, the Ramsey show. If you're listening to this on the radio, stay right where you are.
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All you got to do to finish the episode is search Ramsey Network in the app store, Google Play Store, or just click the link in the show notes to download the app for free. Yep, you heard me right, for free. Then right there on the home screen, you can watch the rest of today's show, by the Bing, by the bro. All right, I'm getting out of here. Enjoy. Thank you.