[Monday Motivator] Gut check your "should do" list

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Well, hey friend welcome to another episode of the Heather Sager Show. It's me Heather Sager and I'm honored to be your speaking coach here today in this episode. I've spent the last 15 years studying and building my communication skills to inspire and teach business owners and their teams from stages around the world. I've had the honor of speaking on more than a thousand stages on topics of leadership, premium brand positioning, sales, and of course communication. And now my focus is helping fellow online entrepreneurs become magnetic speakers, so they can make a bigger impact in the world while growing their income. This show right here was designed to give you a dedicated space each and every week to grow your skills, and keep your big goals front and center. And if you liked today's episode, be sure to grab a screenshot and share it on Instagram and tag me at the Heather Sager so I can give you a shout out and celebrate the work you're doing. All right, let's dive in, friend, it's gonna be a good one.

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Well, hey, friend, welcome back to another Monday Motivator. Our goal for these short style episodes is to give you a quick kick in the pants, something to think about this week so you could enter the week with more intention, just a little bit more brave, a little bit more authentic and a lot more effective in showing up in your online business. 

This week, we're going to explore a word that I hear so many business owners use when I'm on coaching calls, whether that's one on one or in group programs. I see a lot of this online and you're probably guilty of it too. And that's where we talk about what we should do, we should do. I should really finish my webinar, oh, I should really integrate a low ticket offer on my business, oh, I really should find that higher end ticket, I know I should increase my prices, I really should in work by five o'clock, I should not check my email at 11pm, I should spend less time on social media, I should be more intentional in social media, I shouldn't show up on reels, I should, I should, I should, I should, I should. Holy crap, I am so done with the I shoulds because in all of those things, we feel we need to do something without actually taking ownership of whether or not we want to or it serves a strategy. 

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Friend, you own your online business. You run a business. You need to run your strategy. So if you find yourself using the word should, recognize there shoulds that come from an internal force and shoulds that come from an external force. Follow me for a moment, when we say things like, oh, I shouldn't have the second glass of wine, or oh, I really should not eat this cheeseburger, or I should exercise more, I should drink more water, I should get out of the house a little bit more. We save these shoulds based around the idea of our own historical data. We know when we eat like crap, we feel like crap. We know that when we don't move our bodies, we don't feel so great. We know that when we, again, eat like crap and don't move our bodies, weight tends to carry on. We know that because we felt it before. Historical data tells us so we know those things. And when we say we should do those things, it's because of some kind of internal knowing. 

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Now the follow up question is even though we know those things and it doesn't mean that we actually care about those things. So using the word should puts this external pressure that causes guilt, and it doesn't invoke action. So if you find yourself saying shoulds related to your health, or your habits, or anything personal like that, catch yourself that are you creating this comparison that doesn't need to exist. Just make the choice of either you do want something or you don't. Get the shoulds out there. There's no room for shoulds in your own personal health and personal life. It just doesn't serve you. 

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But the thing that I really want to talk about today is the shoulds in the business space because they're far more toxic because unlike the health of the habits of those personal things I just mentioned, for business owners, especially newer business owners in this pretty new online space, there's not a lot of historical data. Yet there are a ton of experts and gurus who will tell you the secret to success and what you should be doing. So void of us not knowing exactly what we need to do to get the results we want, we start absorbing those shoulds from other people. You should be on Instagram reels, you should be on Tiktok, you should be on Clubhouse. Holy crap, you should be on LinkedIn. There's nobody here but everyone's here. All the shoulds are out there. We start adopting all these strategies because we feel like we should because people are telling us that. And we don't know any better, because it's all new. I see that really lightheartedly. 

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Let me just tell you this. It doesn't matter how long you've been in business, you are the business owner. You are driving the car. You need to take ownership for the strategies and actions that you apply so the should does not serve you. The should does not empower you to say, I am doing X, Y and Z strategy and I'm sticking to it. The shoulds, what help are they doing? So stop saying shoulds and instead give yourself permission to pause and ask. Does this strategy actually serve me? And in order to answer that question you have to be really, really clear what is the direction that you are headed? What's your goal here? What's your goal for the next 12 months? The next three years? How the next 90 days? What is your goal? And then you can ask yourself when you say oh, I should do more of this, I should do more of that. You can go, but girl, should you?

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Body check yourself and say, huh, is that something that I actually want to do that aligns with the plan, with what I want? Or was that someone else's strategy that got shoulded on me? Yeah, I just shoulded. That's going to be a word now. Is that something else a strategy that I've adopted thinking that I have to keep up with some pace that just doesn't serve me. There's no room for the shoulds in business if you want to build a sustainable business that works for you. Because your picture of success doesn't need to be what some other person online has touted as their picture of success. You get to define what your life and business looks like and then you get to choose, consciously choose the things that you will do in order to make that happen. It's not a should of thing. It's a can thing and a do kind of thing. That's what I want you thinking about this week that when that sneaky word of should comes in, question it. But should I? I don't know the answer to that, only you can answer it but I want you to do it consciously by design. 

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Alright, friend, I hope this kick in the pants helps you think about the words you use in your business, the words you use with yourself, they're powerful. The right words can help you stay in the right mindset to build the business that you desire. I hope today's episode was helpful. And hey, give me a shout on Instagram. If you enjoyed this provocative conversation where I shoulded over you, tag me @theheathersager. I would love to hear from you and of course, share with your friends. And I'll see you on the next episode, which is a good one. I'm sharing with you all about your role as a leader in the online space and how can you can broaden your influence in that role. I'll see you real soon.