How to Get Present and Push Through Discomfort with Athea Davis

We're celebrating Thanksgiving and I have so much to be thankful for, but first and foremost, I just wanted to pause and say thank you for showing up each week listening to this show. You mean the absolute world to me. So whenever you're listening to this, maybe even if it's not in November, I just want to take a moment to make sure that you know, I see you, I hear you. Thank you for all the feedback you give online.

Thank you for showing up for me, but more importantly for showing up for yourself, it means the world to me. Now let's dive in to today's episode. We have a special Thanksgiving week treat. And that's where I'm happy to have another guest speaker to talk to us about something that I think is just so important. We're going to dive in talking about how did you get more present and push through the discomfort so you can show up like a magnet for your audience, both online and in person.

So I'm welcoming my friend and special guest Athea Davis. Now let me tell you about Athea because right away you're going to be like, Whoa . This chick is awesome. She uses fun words like sparkles and awesome sauce and I have to tell you she works with kids. But those words work on me too. She is so clear on who she is as a person and who she is as a brand. She just exudes this magnetism about her. But let me give you the actual rap sheet on Athea.

She's a mindfulness educator at K I P P Texas public schools, and she's the author of Today's Gonna Be Awesome Sauce, daily meditations for youth, parents and families. She's the creator of the powerfully positive weekly classroom and home resource: The Affirmation Art Card Deck also called Today's Going to be Awesome Sauce.

Now Athea owns Soul Sense Yoga, a mindfully i nfused education and leadership company where she leads live mindfulness trainings and digital courses for leaders, educators and parents. She's the host of the Rising Education Podcast, mindful living with Athea Davis and she lives with her super hero love family in Houston, Texas. That's right.

W ell folks, w e're going big to Texas this week and she's completely dedicated to spreading the awesome sauce sparkle here, there and everywhere and y es, she's going to bring it today to you. Now, this episode I think is so important, especially as we into the holidays where things are just going to become more and more busy in your personal lives. You're also most likely trying to wrap up the year strong.

You're already thinking about strategic planning for 2020 you're mapping out your launches, you're mapping out your marketing, you're mapping out all of the things, and so with all of this it's just your days become very full. And when our mind is racing all the time, it becomes really difficult for us to slow down and be present. And that is one of the most important things we have to keep in mind that when it comes to communication, presence is paramount.

That means when you're connecting and talking with another person, they actually have to feel like you're there with them, talking with them, your mind isn't in another place. It's not wandering about what you're going to put on the table for Christmas Eve when your family comes over. It's not thinking about the email and all the other things sitting in your project management tool that you have to get to tomorrow.

They only care about what's in front of them, which is you and they want to feel that from you too. So presence. Now, Athea as a mindfulness educator, she's going to talk to us about the connection between our bodies and our minds. We're going to talk a little bit about yoga. We're going to talk about mindfulness practices. By the way, we're going to break down what the hell is mindfulness and how does this stuff all work?

Because I'm asking those questions because we think we know or we think we're supposed to know, but we're all going to Google asking what the heck this stuff means. So we're not going super crazy woo woo on you today. If that's a fear for you, don't worry about it.

We're going to keep it tangible and practical, but I am going to push your thinking just a bit because I want you to think about if you are truly in pursuit of becoming more magnetic for your audience in your potential customers, you have to get control over your mind and start showing up in a present way. So without further chit chat, let's dive in. I like you to meet my friend Athea Davis .

So. Are you ready to become magnetic? I thought so. I'm Heather Sager and I'd like to welcome you to Finding Your It Factor. All right, well welcome back to

I mentor youth in the juvenile justice system and I'm a writer. So I write about all the things, mindfulness mindset and yoga, meditation, all that good stuff, all the things that, you know, seem kind of scary, but they really make our life to so much more joyous and add a sparkle even in the challenging times.

That's what I thought of it at the time. And something really challenging came my way and my life. Uh , many , uh , several years ago I was in a, in a marriage and my prior spouse was an alcoholic and there were some really big challenges in terms of emotionally and mentally, psychologically, like all that stuff. We shared a child together and we ended that marriage.

And as soon as that marriage ended and things started going really south with my former spouse, just really dark, he really just drove deeper into his alcoholism and uh , and a couple of years after we divorced, he took his own life. And that challenge, just going from number one, breaking up my family. I'm super loyal love my family, love my former spouse. It's just that I made this decision like I'm gonna , you know , stop this intergenerational pattern.

Like right here, right now, this isn't working. I love you, let see if we can do this a different way. And it just, it wasn't working in that way. We tried this, you know, went through the divorce. Things just went south again, like I said, and I didn't know what to do with all these heavy things I was feeling emotionally and mentally. So a friend of mine suggested again to try a yoga class. Sounds like, ah , man, I keep hearing this. I guess the universe is telling me I need to go do something.

So I did go take a yoga class and it was just like I felt , um , really the first class I took, all the stress I was feeling in my body. Not all of it melted away in that point in time, but it was something I began to identify that I was learning this language, moving my body and feeling these emotions in my body in ways that I never had before.

And so I just kept going back and I kept processing all these really challenging things and discovered like, Oh , I actually really do , um, you know, enjoy this practice. And you know, one thing after another, I ended up studying, I am an experienced registered yoga teacher, studied with Christina Sal and uh , and I absolutely love what I do and I never really initially thought that I would be working with kids in public schools, but really mindfulness and yoga is a new thing in schools.

I don't know, you know, if your listeners are aware. You might find it here and there are some educators that practice it because they have taken it on personally. But I had the opportunity to work for a nonprofit that was doing a research study at a large district here in Houston, the Houston Independent School District.

And we were studying the effects of yoga and mindfulness on students' academic , uh, you know, end behavioral , um, success at the schools that we , uh, where this study was being done. And I did that and it was really amazing. I built great relationships with educators and leaders and it was just like my calling.

I really felt, I'm also a registered children's yoga teacher, and so it's just, I felt really at home and I did a lot of healing work even through that, and I'm still on this journey and now sister, my goal is to really have these kinds of programs full time and in the classrooms, in every school, in the state of Texas and beyond. I'm in Houston, Texas, so that's why I say in every school in the state of Texas and beyond, I know that was a lot, so I'm going to just kind of pause there.

I mean, it's a lot to, every one of us has our own stories and our own experiences and sometimes when you hear other people's experiences, if they're quote unquote, more traumatic, it's just we all like compare ourselves, I think a bit to our experiences, but I think what you talked about is this idea that we all have stuff that we're dealing with.

We have this emotional baggage or things that we're either going through or we're still processing from and it doesn't matter to what degree of trauma or what degree of severity they are. They're important to us. And finding a way to work through them is a really, really powerful thing. And the other thing I was thinking about as you were talking that was really interesting. As you're describing yourself as a runner who doesn't want to do the whole stretching thing. Yeah .

Oh my God, that's totally me right now. I, I , uh, I have dabbled in the yoga , uh, and I think some of the listeners will identify with this. Uh , when I was in college, I took a yoga class as a , one of my core electives. Yeah. Or electives, whatever it's called. And the teacher in the class at the time, I mean, I think I was 19, but I took this class, she was probably in her seventies, had a , I remember trying it. And every time I was like, this is terrible.

And I tried it over and over, get it . I hated it. But I think a lot of it has to do is you just have to find the right instructor but also the right style and yeah , I , I just think that like, just because you have one opinion of something and like you should try it again. Like if you tried something before, you should try it again.

And I just, I was doing all the things I knew to do, to take care of myself mentally and emotionally and I needed something else to process all of these things that I was, you know , going through with, you know, going through a divorce and still, you know, loving my family, loving my former spouse.

But just knowing that, you know, if anybody's ever been with an alcoholic, there's been, you know, there's a lot of denial and like how do I do this in a loving way and yet trying to process all my own stress about it, that ultimately that led me in there and I was really much more open to it and , and it really saved, it saved my life.

It really transformed my life because it really put me in a place to really see how I was codependent and my former relationship, how I was not voting my own victory. I was not confident in the ways that I used to be and where I was just holding myself back. And it wasn't that I just had an epiphany by going to one class.

It was a process of just showing up, moving my body, releasing the stress and being committed to a path of what, and I'm a Yogi, so a path of self inquiry, just really getting curious about why things occurred that they did. How was I showing up mentally and emotionally? What stressors? Just asking all these questions and then really seeing myself in a new light and saying, wow, you know, I am kind of this awesome sauce person and I have these things that I can offer the world.

And I was not in a place where I was seeing that. And it really opened that for me. And because it opened that door for me and my own heart, my own soul, and my own spirit, I feel , um, you know, such a duty to help others. And particularly I love working with kids and educators and educational leaders to, to, you know, kind of guide them, you know, to open that door for them, what I call spreading the sparkle or tuning into and spreading the awesome sauce.

And I feel like I know what it means. I mean, I even talk about it. But like

So a lot of times being a Yogi as well, so mindful yoga educator is that oftentimes I talk about things that we notice on the inside, which is because we can't go inside and like touch the things on the inside. So you know, a lot of things that we do to practice mindfulness, to start learning that as we have focal points.

It could be a light, a candle, an object, and we work with the breath to go inside to feel sensations in the body to discover maybe what emotions that we're feeling, but basically that , you know, I just want to get real basic with that. Focus attention on one thing at one time so we can develop and cultivate our awareness and learn to be present with what's happening inside the body.

Or if I'm in a conversation with somebody, I can be present to what they're saying, what's going on with me emotionally, them emotionally, et cetera.

We're saying things to ourselves all day long. I remember that point in time. I was like, what are they talking about? And then I realized , Oh my goodness, when , when that light went off and I realized I ha I was saying all these like negative things to myself, I, it just really changed everything where they're not can become aware. And that's part of the practice. When you're doing the breath work or the movement work, you do become aware of that internal voice.

Sometimes I like to call it when I'm talking to my kids. I'm like, well, it's a gremlin inside and we need to , you know, we have the choice to change that little gremlin to our little sparkle unicorn. So that's my other little thing that I love. So unicorn, whatever you want to vision yourself as. But again, so you have to be really comfortable in your own skin, your own body. And the way you do that is through what I call that self inquiry.

You get comfortable with, Hey, you know why I know that voice and that voice is not really nice to me and I can choose not to listen to that voice. And there's some ways that you , uh , some practices that you can do to notice that voice and to invite a new voice in that's going to help you stand in your power.

The thing was , we all have this power, but people give their power away all the time because they're focusing on that little Gremlin inside or the Gremlins on the outside that are trying to pull you down. But you've got to learn to tap into that power. On the inside. I have a few practices. You want to hear them?

So who does that? Right? So you have yoga practices that do that and mindfulness practices that do that. So you know, yoga is so popular now that you can basically find they go to class. Um , if you don't want one on a, on a computer, you can go around the corner. I know here in each town in Houston, you can go within like two minutes and there's a yoga studio and have a class like every hour. But if you don't have that in your town, you can certainly get online and try something.

But I will say there is something important about practicing with a group of people and just give it a chance. Give yourself that opportunity to get in your body, out of your mind. Cause a lot of times we get stuck, especially for those the listeners out there that are entrepreneurs and they want to be speaking, you know, with great connection and confidence and really having people that in their communities , uh , mathematize to them because who doesn't We all love to be around.

Those that are confident, enjoy , joyous and comfortable in their own skin is you've got to get in your body to be able to do that uncomfortable. Um, you know, and , and knowing, you know what you're saying, how you're feeling and that's okay. Like even when you're feeling challenges but you're confident in communicating, you know that you are. So moving your body and sacred eyes and your breath at the same time. You can do that through yoga. You can do that through mindful walking.

Those are key because that's what you're going to experience. That gremlin inside coming up and saying, Oh, I don't know. You know about this, and talking negative things meaning you to yourself. Or you're going to find practices where you're going to say things to yourself where you're like, I'm too tired. I don't know if I can do this. But when you practice that in a safe space on a mat and a community, then you can get past that.

It's like you get to kind of, a lot of teachers will say, you know, like push your edge, and I often talk to my students about this. Yes, you might get in that space. You might feel whatever you're feeling, it might feel like, I don't know about that.

You know, this feels odd, or Oh, this hurts real bad, but it's, it's, again, you're practicing on the mat as if you're going to practice in front of a group of people that you might suddenly feel uncomfortable if you're talking to a group of people. But you know, you practice that on a mat. Like, Oh, that was uncomfortable, but I got through it. What did I do? I've focused on something, my breath and maybe a focal point. I acknowledged it and I was able to move on. So move and breathing.

And then the third one is making sure you're affirming positive things to yourself. This one is so powerful. I literally talk to myself all day long. I really do. And I say things , um, you know, positive things. Not all day. I mean, I tried to do it all day, but I'm just talking on the time noticing when I tend to shift into that gremlin space. Like, Oh no, this is when so bad, so wrong. Oh my gosh, I'm just such a failure for doing this, for that.

And then I have to, I have, I've cultivated the awareness. Uh , I mean not, I'm not like, Oh my gosh, I have it all figured out, but I've cultivated it enough awareness right now to where I can notice it so much more quickly than I was able to before I ever knew these practices. And then I can shift it and say, wait a minute, no, I'm strong and I'm confident and I'm going to win this thing. I'm going to do this thing. I'm confident and I can do it.

And just putting your body to , I want to say just backtracking to movement, putting our body in powerful positions is super key. Now, Amy Cuddy has sent tons of research on this and you may know of her, but she's a social psychologist who's researched body , um , body language and oftentimes you find in yoga classes thereare some warrior positions and one of the reasons they're called warrior poses is because they invoked something called Viva Rasa. And Viva Rasa is like this vitality in life.

They invoke that confidence in you and it's really, it sounds crazy. I know, I tell my students this all the time.

Even those that I'm training the educators and educational leaders, I'm like, I know it sounds crazy that if you just take your arms up and you get in something like victory stance or you do a warrior pose and all of a sudden you're going to feel like you can take on the world, but you practice that enough times before you go on stage or before you have to have an important conversation. You're going to feel a shift in your mind and your heart space that's real powerful.

So those are the few things that I definitely use all the time. I teach all the time and that has been really, really helpful and powerful , uh , to those that I'm teaching and even in my own life.

That's a big core part of what I teach with my students is around getting more comfortable with it. But there is this, it's going to be a weird example, but just the example that so many of us are uncomfortable with our own limbs, like our arms or legs, especially if we have to stand in front an audience. So I can see a huge connection between yoga specifically and getting more comfortable in uncomfortable poses to increase your level of comfort in stressful situations .

So I love that parallel there. I think there's a lot symmetry.

And that's cool if you're hanging around the coffee shop and you just want to have some mojo together or whatever it is you're drinking. But when you're getting ready to present to people, you want to go in there with that confidence and maybe you're not feeling it in your mind space. So what I call jedi Ninja mind tricks . So everything I'm named here right now are all Jedi Ninja mind tricks for all my Star Wars lovers out there. Okay?

So that being said, sometimes you just have to press your feet into your shoes and your shoes into the floor and you just say that to yourself and your feet are hips with the part because it's going to open up your front body and you take your shoulders, you roll them back, you open up your chest and you just press your feet down. That helps you come into your body so you're out of the mind.

So immediately if anything's negative going on in your mind saying, Oh my gosh, I'm going to fail, or what if I forget this?

Then then you just come into your body and you combine that you synchronize it with a breath, then you're in a really powerful space because then you're really starting to shift some things around from the inside out and you're putting yourself in a position of confidence and power instead of, because our body's communicating with our brain all day long, vice versa , brain to body.

And if we're, you know, like I said, technology is great, but if we're a hunched over, you know, type in something or on our phone or just kind of hanging out with that , uh , sort of Starbucks stance or whatever coffee shop you'd like to go to, having your , uh , you know , tea or coffee, then what is happening over time, you're closing out the front part of your body and what's the heart shocker in that front, in the front part of the body and the chest, you're closing out the energy energy

right there. And you're not saying this on a conscious level, but subconsciously what's going on is that you're scared. You're feel you're , you are in fear and you're not confident and people are gonna read that and in you're so right. People are going to form opinions about you before they ever shake your hand based on how your body language is.

And so one of the great practice , uh , reasons why I think your audience would really benefit from some yoga and mindfulness practices because it helps you get embodied to understand, you know, how to stand confidently, what to do. Like you said, you know with your limbs when you're like, you feel kind of uncomfortable. Like where do I put my hands? But once you practice like how to be in your body strongly, you can do that in front of five people, 500 people or 500,000 people.

Yes. And once you get it , once you get more confident with those things, then you can start getting all fancy and figuring out like

?

Often times I have this affirmation and art cards at called Today is Going to be Awesome Sauce and there's a card in there and on the picture there's a, there's an art piece and there are a bunch of different hats, you know, like a baseball cap and a beautiful, you know, sort of like 1920s looking hat, all kinds of hats and on the backs . The affirmation is try something new on today.

And when you're just starting out and you're trying to find your voice, I think you've just go with what you know and you get comfortable and you just start trying things, you know, like how do you, how do you talk to people? What w how am I showing up online? What do I like? And just you just be yourself and you're going to grow into who you are meant to come, you stay , you show up in yourself 100% that day. I hope that makes sense. So in a sense, it's like you're just having fun.

You know, you're like figuring out like, well, I like sparkles. For me, I like awesome sauces . These are the kinds of things that I have fun with and, and can I, how can I say that in a way that connects with other people and, and stay true to myself during that process. And I think the more than that, you just stay you instead of trying to do someone else, your it factor is just going to come out naturally and organically over time.

It might not happen in that one hour, that one day when you're on this self inquiry path and there's a lot of, you know, like mud, you got to get out of the way. Layers, you got to get off. Maybe you got some baggage pulling you down, but once you get that baggage off, once you get that layer off of that stuff, there's cobwebs out of your soul, your soul is going to shine through because you're doing those practices right.

And that it factor that use going to happen naturally and organically and you just show up being new.

If you're an educator or an educational leader or you just want to know more and you want to come hang with me. Definitely I would love to , uh, to , you know, to connect and I have my own podcast is Mindful Living with Athea Davis and I have a lot of fun doing it and you can tune in there too.

Just like anybody that's following them out there too . It's just stepping into your own power and being you and sharing your gifts, whether that's with one person or 500,000, whatever it is. When you share your gifts, that is the you, the true you. The essence that sparkle , that awesome sauce I talk about with my kids and the educators I work with, that will shine bright.

When you start just really connecting with those that you're serving truly from your heart and soul, then that it factor is just going to come right out and shine bright.

One, will you please go to the gram and send Athea a message to let her know how much you loved it and if you're feeling extra saucy head on over to iTunes and leave a review, it means so much to me and it'll help this show get in the ears of more listeners. So with that we will see you next week. Same time, same place.

guys, thanks so much for listening to Finding Your It Factor and Hey, if you have a talk coming up, you have to check out my free resource. It's called Nail Your Next Talk. 10 must ask questions before taking the stage so you can show up as an authority and turn that talk into future business. These are the questions that I use myself to prepare for my life talks and they're going to help you ask the right questions of the person who booked you for the event.

So the meeting planner or the client, and it's going to help you serve your audience to the best way possible. It's going to help you anticipate potential tech or AC snags. Turn the Q and A time into a strategic place for content and make this speaking opportunity, a lead generator for your business. So go get it now. What are you waiting for? It's over at heathersager .com forward slash 10 questions [inaudible] .