252: Behind Closed Doors: Unraveling the PR Spin of Celebrity Affairs

So now social media , the press TikTok , is abusing . Everyone likes a good scandal , me included . Let's chat about messy , messy celebrity affairs and the PR spin that people use to deny them . Welcome to the Indestructible PR Podcast , where we use current events and test media and PR strategies to help prevent or manage a crisis and build an indestructible reputation .

In this episode , let's explore the delicate dance of public perception and the challenges that many celebrities face when their personal lives are thrust into the spotlight over a messy , messy affair . So let's discuss how navigating these celebrity affairs require a fine balance of honesty , authenticity and a little bit of discretion so it doesn't ruin their career .

Disclaimer I think it's fair to say that anyone can use these lessons , though it is not advised to need them . The alternative title for this podcast episode how to Survive a Celebrity Affair lessons from Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater . Now I could have recorded an entire podcast around these two . But I know a lot of people listening right now .

When they hear the name Ethan Slater they go what , who is this person ? Go ahead , if you're at your desk right now , just jump it into the goog and see the results . And then look at that and go hmm , Celebrity affairs are nothing new In Hollywood . They go way , way back . They cause a lot of damage .

Back in the day before we had serious tabloid press , everywhere in social media and everybody holding a phone , it was a lot easier for publicist and managers to hide these covert relationships .

But nowadays it is very , very difficult for anyone to get away with anything , whether you're a celebrity or not , tracking technology and phones and everyone knowing everyone's business and GPS and ring cameras and all of it . Anyone could be exposed at any moment and it can cause a lot of damage to a reputation .

So , whether it's a one night stand or a long term relationship , cheating on your spouse or your partner , although never , ever advised , usually has serious consequences to a personal and professional life . So how does one handle an aftermath of a public infidelity scandal without losing fans , your friends or your career ?

Here's the point where I will add another disclaimer . I am by no means recommending , suggesting forgiving the act of cheating on a partner or a spouse . I'm looking at this not as a playbook for how to get out of it . No , I'm looking at it more from curiosity , tracking how people respond . After all , this is what I do .

I'm always looking for responses because public relations is always tied in to human relations , and how humans react when they are on the spot will forever fascinate me , for a very meta reason . Now , how do celebrities navigate the PR when it comes to these types of affairs or cheating scandals ?

Before we get into the actual couples themselves , let's just talk about why do celebrities have affairs ? What's the reason behind it ? Now , obviously there's a lot of factors involved . We don't know what they are . I don't know what they are . I'm not personally involved in these types of matters , but I certainly follow them .

But it's easy to assume that in just relationships in general , you have two personalities , you have compatibility , you have communication . Is it good , is it bad ? We have measures of satisfaction I'll just leave it at that and then we just have people who are bored out of their minds .

So having an affair is not just exclusive to celebrities , but celebrities have something a little bit different because they have a higher level of power and fame and likely money and some combination thereof . There's also the piece of the reputation . If your current partner matching the current partner and the partner going after , are they a high mate value add .

In other words , are they dating up , are they dating down ? See Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater and by no means I'm not dunking on either one of them . I'm especially not dunking on Ethan . We will get back to him . But when you read about this latest scandal you go huh , huh , it makes sense , yet sometimes it doesn't All right .

So now , when we get into the celebrity world , the celebrity mind , I'm gonna make a broad generalization here . In many cases we're talking about men who are leaving wives to go off and have these affairs . And why would they do it ? Okay , this is what my quick research says in just my brain common sense One .

They like the thrill of the chase , the risk takers . They perhaps prefer to find a partner or someone where they don't need accountability , they don't need to answer to someone . Maybe they're feeling underappreciated . Maybe they're feeling neglected .

Maybe they're ignored in their current relationship , they're bored in it , they feel like a prop , they don't feel special anymore . They don't feel attractive , they don't feel desired , until someone comes along to make them feel that way . Now , of course , these are not reasons to justify our excuse having an affair .

I know 99.9% of the people listening to this podcast episode right now they're not celebrities . Oh , there may be celebrities out there . Do not have affairs . Do not follow these playbook , because I'm just gonna give you a little highlight right now bottom line , up front . No one has really done it .

Well , no one really has written the playbook on this , so that's why I wanted to look into it . Okay , now there is risk to having affairs for celebrities in the past . Like you think back all the movies LA Confidential , gosh I love that movie . That was when Russell Crowe was oh God , he was so cute back then . But you think about blackmail .

You think about legal troubles . You just think about the reputation hit that people take again mostly guys , but not that women don't do it . Because if we're looking at Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater , so these two reportedly have had an affair while they're filming the movie adaptation of Wicked . Now , I didn't even know that they were doing this .

I had certainly heard about the affair , but I didn't know that they were filming this movie , wicked . I remember reading that book with my book club years and years ago and I struggled so mightily to get through that book .

And then I remember when Wicked was doing their national tour before they hit Broadway and I thought how did they turn that absolutely boring book into a Broadway musical ? And look at it now it's killing it and now it's a movie . Now it's a movie and it's not . It ain't boring , that is for sure . Now , ariana Grande she has a history of being with men .

I'm not gonna go deep into it , but the rap on her . She's dated a lot of people . I mean , she's a pop singer , she's a pop star . Part of the whole appeal in the publicity behind it is who you're dating . So she has been dating for a while .

So her first relationship or record that I saw with Graham Phillips , that was in 2008 , when she was only 15 years old . So they were both in the Broadway musical 13 . Ah , the through line starts there and it will come all the way to the end . Okay , then she was dating someone else , a YouTube star , who she met on Twitter .

Then there was another guy named Nathan Sykes . She collaborated on a song with them . Okay , we're continuing the through line . And then she started dating a rapper , big Sean , who was in a relationship . You can call me out on this one . I don't think they were engaged yet . They were dating . And then they became engaged the late Glee star , naya Rivera .

So in her book Sorry , not Sorry she recounted how she found Ariana Grande in his home while they were still dating . So she didn't name Ariana Grande in her book . She said Shmariana Shmande in her book . Well Done , she spoke with a lawyer . Then she dated a backup dancer . Then there was Mac Miller . So he is we're gonna call him a rapper .

That's who I associate her dating . They broke up . He died of a drug overdose . Then she went to Pete Davidson . Pete Davidson was dating Kazi David , larry David's daughter . Mac Miller was dating someone as well , and then now she was just broke their relationship with Dalton Gomez . It was a real estate agent . So the through line there .

So we're not gonna blame everything on Ethan Slater . We're gonna set the table how it should be set . That Ariana Grande has let's just call it a pattern here when it comes to how she falls into this relationship . She falls into them with collaborators , singers , rappers , artists . She has a real estate agent thrown in there .

Maybe she was just trying to go normal , but she gets entangled in these . She goes after the unattainable and people do that People . There is risk and there is excitement in the chase when you can go after someone who's wholly unattainable . Now , ethan Slater so far has not made any public statement about this affair .

Now , ethan Slater , he was in SpongeBob SquarePants Playing the role of SpongeBob SquarePants and it fits he's also playing the role of a munchkin , I believe , who falls in love with Glinda , who is Ariana Grande . Okay , and apparently the two of them were not really hiding their affection for each other during the rehearsals .

Now , because of the writer's strike and the SAG strike , after the movie is on hold , now that comes into play in the public relations response because the studio doesn't have to determine . Oh , what do we do ? Do we get rid of Ethan Slater ? Do we just chuck the whole thing ? Now ? I don't think that's gonna happen .

It puts the public response on pause because there isn't a risk while the movie is on hold . There's some risk , but not a lot of it . So he hasn't said anything . But according to sources , which these are the leaks he told his wife , lily J . Well , we met in high school . They've been together since high school .

They had a son last November , but according to sources , he wanted to divorce a few days before . The media reported this relationship with Grande . Could be true , likely , not true . Other sources are claiming that Slater and Grande were both separated from their spouses . Now , that is a narrative .

We hear a lot in these divorces that , oh , behind the scenes , we were already separated , not buying this one . So for those of you keeping score , ethan and Ariana Grande are no comment whatsoever .

Now , who has commented via a friend or a publicist is Ethan Slater's wife , lily J , who was quote blindsided by this revelation about her husband , which was brilliant . I did a quick TikTok about that because it landed in page six as an exclusive .

So that means Lily J knows someone , or knows someone who knows someone that understands PR , and they just drop it to page six , which is New York Post's gossip comb . So there we go . So that was nice . So she has already framed it . Ethan and I did not talk about this . I was blindsided .

All right , moving along Now , certainly , depending on where you fall , age-wise , generation-wise , some of these affairs , these scandals , you're going to remember , some you may not Now again , if we're looking for through lines of what people do or if there is a playbook and one that should not be followed , there is always a denial .

There's some form of a denial , because every scandal that I have ever followed involving some alleged affair or fall out from an affair , there is always a narrative being pushed to see if they can get away with it , similar to oh , my wife and I discussed this before it went public .

There's always a narrative of oh , there were other problems , or touching on , things weren't great at home . Kind of the Ben Affleck sitting down with Howard Stern when he was discussing . He was on a marathon interview with Howard Stern during the pandemic and he was doing promotion for an upcoming movie and he was discussing his marriage to Jennifer Garner .

Now he isn't quote , there's an asterisk on him . That relationship did not break up over an affair per se . It was really the incompatibility of their lifestyles . Ben struggled with addiction and Blind Gossip would say that he's had multiple , multiple , multiple affairs .

So I think any reasonable person could look at that relationship and know what Jennifer Garner was dealing with . But because Ben Affleck deals with addiction , reasonable people can assume why that was happening .

But he made a comment during that very long interview where he had stated that Jennifer Garner he just said he couldn't live in it anymore , he was almost casting her in this kind of boring life and that he was so miserable in his marriage that he had to leave his marriage .

Now , even when I was listening to that and I was watching it , I knew he didn't mean that . He was mostly talking about his struggles and how much he was suffering . But it came out in a way where it looked like he was blaming Jennifer Garner and he got a lot of pushback for that . And I don't think he was .

But that shows why the blaming narrative just doesn't work . People can see right through it and in many cases they just do it , I think , because they're gonna roll the dice , see if it works . They know it's not gonna work , but if you put that type of narrative out there , maybe you can just kind of squeeze through All right .

So let's start jumping into some of the celebrities . If you remember the first one , john Mulaney I recently did a podcast about John Mulaney because he came out with a new Netflix comedy special titled Baby J and I had stated on my TikTok post and now on Instagram as well that I believe that Baby J was his official public statement for his divorce .

Because what happened is John Mulaney made a lot of money as a comedian , in part talking about his relationship and then his marriage to Anna Marie Tendler . She is a photographer and artist , she was a lampshade designer .

She's kind of one of these cool hip chicks and they had real kind of cool hip relationship because he always talked about her , you know , in his bit , and they had a dog , petunia . But then things went real sideways for John Mulaney when it was revealed that he and Olivia Munn were together and the timeline was very , very messy .

Now the reason why we know that he cheated on his wife , anna Marie Tendler , with Olivia Munn is because Olivia gave birth to their son in November of 2021 . So the timeline was not working out for him at all , so he received a lot of blowback . Now what do these people do when they are caught ? We have sources dropping like crazy .

This is why I don't think we have official statements anymore , because we're just going to use we're going to do blind gossip . We're going to drop to blind gossip . We are going to have friends of friends , unnamed sources that are going to put narratives in there .

Now some sources are saying about Mulaney that he had asked for a divorce from Tendler three months before he started dating Munn . Now we don't know this . Nobody knows this . He reportedly met Munn at church in Los Angeles , and she did support her hand by liking a tweet of his .

She breadcrumbed him that's the term when he entered rehab for alcohol and drug abuse in December of 2020 . So they definitely knew each other . Now , when this was revealed , this was also after the intervention that Mulaney had that he accounted in the Baby J special , which I think you should watch .

It's not as funny as all those other specials out there , but it's good . It's definitely good . But again , I think it's just one big official public relations statement from John Mulaney to give context to why he did what he did . He blamed a lot of it on addiction , which I think is smart . Now Tendler , though , did share some of her feelings on Instagram .

Like she was noted as saying it was a harsh and punishing year . She was trying to cope with the unfathomable loss of her relationship . She was thrown , she was blindsided . I mean she made that very , very clear . She was not giving him an inch . Mulaney and Tendler finalized their divorce in January of 2022 . So that was five months after Mulaney initially filed .

Now the details of the settlement are not known . I mean , we know that she has the house in Connecticut , but John Mulaney , he did Baby J and now you can see Malcolm , baby Malcolm and Olivia and John as the happy family , and Ann Marie , I know , is dating someone new . But a lot of people haven't forgotten that .

Based on the replies on that TikTok , a lot of people are still mad at John Mulaney . All right , another one going even further back in time , woo , do you remember Thanksgiving weekend 2000 ? Oh gosh , 2009, . I believe I'm going to have to fact check this one .

I'm sorry , I think it is 2009 , when the most popular golfer in the world was fleeing his home and his wife came after him with a golf club and shattered windows . Oh , my goodness , I remember it Clear as day because it was Thanksgiving weekend . I was on the Jersey Shore . I was supposed to work on the Friday after Thanksgiving down in DC .

I couldn't get down to DC and I was calling my co-worker Alicia , like you need to cover for me While I was gripped by the Tiger Woods story . I mean , talk about a story that really got me interested in spin . It was that story . So Tiger Woods was trying to control this narrative , but every the press descended on his house in Florida .

The helicopters were over his house oh my gosh , it was Wow . That was quite the spectacle . Now , when Tiger Woods was found out now he had an affair with do you remember the name ? Go ahead , say it out loud Rachel Yucatel , who's boyfriend the first time we had heard of her was 9-11 . Her boyfriend died in 9-11 .

That was the first time that we saw her , though we didn't know it was her . So he was married to his wife , elan , on Notre-Game Beautiful , beautiful woman . They had two kids , so cute . The younger one is a golfer now , so he did not cop to it . However , he did issue a general apology for his infidelity and misconduct .

He had a press conference , and that happened in February 2010 . So it was a couple months later , and in it he said quote I want to say to each of you , simply and directly I'm deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behavior I engaged in . I know people want to find out how I could be so selfish and so foolish .

People want to know how I could have done these things to my wife , elan , and to my children , and while I have always tried to be a private person , there are some things I wanted to say . And then he goes on to admit that he had been unfaithful to his wife with multiple women and that he Betrayed his core values and his family .

He said he was unfaithful , he had affairs and then he cheated . He also said what he did was not acceptable and that he was the only person to blame . And then he said something that many do when they're called out on this and they have to have a press conference .

He asked for forgiveness and understanding from his fans , his sponsors , his friends and his family . He said quote I asked you to find room in your heart to one day believe in me again . Now I think what most people believed is that he would cheat again . It's tiger woods now . They divorced in 2010 . They were married for six years .

They did release a joint statement when they were divorced and they said that they're sad that their marriage is over and they wish each other the best for the future , but they're going to raise their kids together . Now . What Sets apart tiger woods from other celebrities and stars is okay . He had a press conference .

Back then , in 2009 , people had press conferences . We had local television , we had national , we had cable television . People expected Press conferences . This is the time when everyone converged in one place to hear the story . Now , we did have In 2010 . We did have twitter , you know . Certainly we had facebook , but we weren't as driven by social media news .

This was a cable news event . The big reason why he had to come out and apologize and admit he didn't want to , the reason why tiger woods had to admit is because all the women he had affairs with came out . They completely outed him . He had no choice . But it's a matter of what was at stake for him .

It's not just celebrity for tiger woods and how people feel about him . You know , reasonable people can assume Okay , tiger woods , he's on the road . This is a professional athlete . Have affairs ? Yeah , okay , maybe , but it's with his sponsors . It's when it comes to money . He sponsors do not want to sponsor Men who cheat and are bad to their wives .

So we had to clean the slate on that to protect the sponsorship . Now let's move on to someone who didn't have a sponsorship to protect , but he did have to protect his reputation and that was brad pit now .

He never officially confirmed that he left jennifer aniston from friends for angeline and jolly , but he did admit that he fell in love with jolly on the set of the film they were shooting together , mr and mrs Smith , and they were filming during his marriage to jennifer aniston .

In a 2008 interview with rolling stone , pitt said in the interview again , not an official statement , but just kind of slid it into an interview Quote what people don't understand is that we filmed brackets , mr Mrs Smith , for a year we were still filming after jenn and I split up even then . It doesn't mean that there was some kind of dastardly affair .

There wasn't . I'm very proud of the way that it was handled . It was respectful . If someone I don't know me were to read between the lines of that statement he is Framing again , creating this narrative that he was with angelina during the marriage , while they were married and even after they split up .

In other words , it wasn't some event that just shook everything and everything fell apart . No , everything went along just fine . And when he said there wasn't some kind of affair , he said a dastardly affair . That's probably his way to not lie In his mind .

Brad Pitt did a dance in his mind with his conscience and said , okay , I'm not going to call this affair , I'm going to call this that I just I fell in love with angeline and jolly . I mean , it happened to be married , but you know what ? Maybe it wasn't a great marriage , but I love her , so it's not dastardly , this is love .

I mean , brad pitt said he was very proud of the way that it was handled . It was respectful . Again , it wasn't . It wasn't . Even jennifer anison had to come out and said that and said that brad pitt was missing a sensitivity chip . He wasn't missing a sensitivity chip . What he had in there was a chip that told him how to get around it .

He knew he was being insensitive because that was the lesser of the evils Insensitive he's like . I'll take it . I will take it , but I'm not going to admit to destroying Rachel green from friends , who everybody loved . Now , what did he do in 2011 ? Well , something similar that ben afleck did .

He seemed to imply that his marriage to anison was boring and unfulfilling , sparked a bit of backlash from anison's fans . So he told parade magazine quote I spent the 90s trying to hide out , trying to duck the full celebrity cacophony . I started to get sick of myself sitting on a couch holding a joint , hiding out . It started feeling pathetic .

It became very clear to me that I was intent on trying to find a movie about an interesting life , but I wasn't living an interesting life myself . I think that my marriage Bracket to anison had something to do with it . Trying to pretend the marriage was something that it wasn't ouch , it's full blame . He's blaming jennifer aniston . He's blaming drugs .

He's blaming boredom . He's blaming celebrity , but he's also blaming aniston . Pitt later clarified his statement and he said that he meant no disrespect to aniston , who he called quote an incredibly giving , loving and hilarious woman .

And quote he also added quote it greeds me that this was interpreted this way Jen is an incredibly giving , loving and hilarious woman who remains my friend . It is an important relationship I value greatly . End , quote . Now who is he blaming ? He's blaming the public .

He's blaming the public that we would actually think that he was disrespecting jennifer aniston , which he was , because he was using her as a blame mechanism to get out of the affair that he was having with angeline and jolly . Now Panistin . I'm just gonna leave it .

Aniston Pitt announced their separation in january of 2005 after four and a half years of marriage , so there's probably some illegal dancing in there . They did release a joint statement saying , quote we would like to announce that after seven years together , we've decided to formally separate .

For those who followed these sorts of things , again blaming people like us , we would like to explain that our separation is not the result of any of the speculation reported by the tabloid media and quote so , in other words , he's dodging it . He dodged , dodged , dodge , because he's not naming what the speculation was , but of course everybody knows what it was .

He had an affair with angeline and jolly . Angeline and jolly was a little ariana grande like because she did the same thing to billy bob thorton . His girlfriend , laura derm , was quoted as saying she well loose quote .

I don't have it in front of me , but she said I went off to film a movie and when I got back my boyfriend was engaged Into angeline and jolly . So now , pitton , jolly . Their relationship went public in 2005 when they were photographed with jolly's adopted son , and then they adopted more kids and then they got married .

They're separated and now they're going through a horrible , horrible , horrible divorce . Jennifer annison is in the bird seat right now saying huh , told you so . Now those two have acted kind of buddy buddy . So she's publicly forgiving him . So you got to give her , got to give her credit for that . But brad pitt , he's still coming out .

He's in all these different movies . He's . He's doing okay , though he is on the down low on a lot of things . You don't see him out there a lot doing a lot of off the cuff things .

Everything is scripted that he is doing because he cannot go off script , because his reputation is still tenuous While they're still going through this divorce , because there's a lot that neither one of them probably want leaked out there , which is a shame . I mean brad pitt now Jonah Hill , like two people destroyed one of my favorite movies , money ball .

Okay , now for this next affair , which is going to be the last affair . I'm going into the political realm and focusing on a governor of New York . Which governor of New York ? I don't know . It's like a head scratcher , right , but let's settle on Governor Elliot Spitzer Now . He was sworn into office in 2007 , and he came in hot to that position .

He wanted everyone to know . It was like a take no prisoners approach . I saw a quote from him . He was telling this to a New York state assembly member quote listen , I'm an F and steamroller and I'll roll over you and anybody else . Okay , you getting a sense of this guy Now ? I remember reading the New York tabloids back then .

So I was fascinated by Spitzer . And I was just as fascinated when it was revealed that he had been conducting these clandestine tris over several years with women who worked for a service . What type of service ? Like a call service ? Like a prostitution service ? So he was outed . And do you remember what the girl's name is ?

This is a very interesting fact Ashley Alexandra Dupree , which , if memory serves I did not Google this , but I'm going back in time I don't think that's her real name . Do you think it's a great name ? But the New York city tabloids went wild I think I read the New York Post every single day when this happened and Dupree got her own column .

So she leveraged the heck out of this . So why not go , girl ? So Spitzer had to resign shortly after these revelations . And do you remember him at the press conference with his wife Silda standing behind ? Like the good wife , silda inspired the television show Juliana Margulies , cbs the good wife .

Now , when Spitzer had to resign , he needed to come out with a press statement . Again , like Tiger Woods , he was bound by something His reputation mattered . He couldn't just walk away from this because one his ego needed to come back in some capacity . So he needed to put everything on the record .

He needed to publicly atone , which is what he did , which , again , compared to other celebrities , they'll try and wriggle out of it Now . When he resigned , he apologized to his family , he apologized to the public . He talked about having private feelings . Does this sound familiar ? Does it sound like Tiger Woods ?

I guarantee you , when his team was putting together a statement for Tiger Woods , yeah , they were researching this speech , without a doubt , this resignation speech . So he expressed remorse for betraying the trust of his constituents and his colleagues and said he hoped to , just like Tiger Woods , earn their forgiveness .

And he was succeeded by Lieutenant Governor David Patterson in 2008 . Elliott Spitzer he was on CNN for a while . He ran again for office . He's now pretty much a private citizen , but that was a scandal again that forced someone to come into the public , into the spotlight , and publicly atone for it and admit what happened .

Now here's the fun fact , side note Ashley Dupree , who was the woman who Elliott Spitzer had a trist with and , if you remember he always had to wear the socks . Client number nine she is the stepmother of Alex Earl . Is that name familiar ? She is this huge TikTok influencer . She has over 5.6 million followers .

She just gave huge scholarship to the University of Miami . I mean , this girl's huge . How did she get so big ? How does she know how to become famous ? I don't know .

I'm thinking that her mom , her stepmother , her mom actually is quite cute , but her mom was the collateral damage in her father's affair with Ashley Dupree , and now she's Alex Earl's stepmother full circle . So now let's come back to TikTok and Ethan Slater .

Ethan Slater because we are now dealing with celebrity infidelity in 2023 , it's a lot different than it was in the Tiger Woods , elliott Spitzer , anthony Wiener days . Even Arnold Schwarzenegger . He sat on the affair with his housekeeper that resulted in the birth of his son , joseph , who's the same age as the son Patrick .

It took Arnold Schwarzenegger years to really come out and start talking about it and he admitted to it . He didn't deny it , but he talked about a certain shame in 2023 . So we're becoming , even though we're still post-cancel culture , we are also becoming a more forgiving culture .

I mean now , into 2023 , we may still see celebrities denying affairs , but we also hear of celebrities admitting to them . I was tagged by a number of people when country singer Jimmy Allen publicly apologized to his estranged wife who was pregnant and he quote apologized for humiliating her with my affair End quote .

He apologized to his children for being a quote poor example of a man and a father end quote . And he was working on becoming a better person . He also threw a little shade about how he was raised . So it was a way that he brought in his father and that he just was a product of his father's behavior , which I thought was interesting .

It was a level of transparency and honesty that kind of helped his message here . Now , one thing he did not address was the sexual assault allegations that were made by his former manager , who did sue him for alleged assault and sexual abuse .

So he claimed that he did have a consensual sexual relationship with the former manager but denied any claims of assault or abuse . But that was the last one that I could remember where they really came out and admitted it and got through it . So there's something there isn't there about admitting to an affair , but it's also understandable why someone wouldn't .

Ethan Slater , whose job , whose role in the film might be sitting in the balance right now . Producers are probably looking at if we have to get rid of him if more is revealed which likely , not , it's likely . Ariana was just a one thing there that he had been faithful to his wife . That's what most people would think . But what would be the consequence ?

So I think he's going to sit on it for a while . He's probably talking with lawyers and trying to figure out what to do . But now , what do you do when you are caught in these types of affairs ? You know when you are a celebrity .

So let's look at it from the celebrity point of view , and if there are people out here that could I don't know see this as advice for themselves , well , go forth and do that . If it helps repair relationships , particularly to the people that you hurt , all right one . What you could do is a Jimmy Allen just acknowledge a situation .

A celebrity is not ignoring the situation . If they do , it could lead to further speculation and damage , particularly if the allegations are true , like if you lie , you're going to be called out not only as a cheater but you're also a liar , which is , I guess , inherent . But you don't wanna add that on top of it . So it's good to own up to these actions .

You wanna do it promptly , you wanna do it sincerely , like Ethan Slater right now . If I were his advisor I would tell him just to admit it Now he probably hasn't said anything because he's probably still in a relationship with Ariana Grande . So , like you know what the damage is already out there . Might as well enjoy this , but he has a window right now .

He absolutely has a window of forgiveness . The film is not being recorded , production is on hold . He could admit like , oh my gosh , he had a lapse in judgment Because of Ariana Grande's past . People know this is what she does , this is what she does . She breaks up relationships . He could go back , he totally would get a pass , but he hasn't done it yet .

So that would be own it . And if you know my Indestructible PR framework , own it , explain it , promise it definitely falls under step one , which is own it . This one falls under it as well , which is apologizing publicly and privately . You acknowledge a situation . A sincere , heartfelt apology is an order .

You don't do the Brad Pitt and say what's everyone looking at ? No , no , it's all good , everything's fine . No , my wife is just a snore . So the apology should be directed towards those directly affected . Like the wife , you have to admit the wife's name . You have to address what you did wrong .

You want to talk about the shame that's also been put on your partner as well . Avoid at all costs justifications , brad Pitt . Focus on expressing your remorse and commitment to learning from the situation . Okay , so that's step one , step two and step three all in one step . There you want to take responsibility , take full responsibility for these actions .

Do not blame others , do not pass the buck , do not minimize the issue . Brad Pitt , also , you can admit this is in the promise stage that you're gonna seek professional help . You're gonna work with a counselor , with a therapist , because it's a personal crisis . That's an out . It's not a full out , but you can admit it was a personal crisis .

People have affairs . It's happened . It's not new in Hollywood . Certainly it shows a commitment to their growth and to the understanding and the reasons behind the actions . Like again , like Brad Pitt , people can see Angelina Jolie breaking up that marriage . He could have gone this way , he didn't , but God it paid off for him , right .

It's probably not a really good example . Also , lay low for a while . We'll also call this a Brad Pitt . After you address the issue , you step out of the limelight . You can keep working because people still want to see you in movies , but you're not gonna be a publicity whore . You're not gonna be out there all the time .

You're not gonna be on social media like boop boop boop , you know , doing Instagram posts and lives . No , you're just gonna keep it strictly professional . You're gonna engage in these restorative actions . You're gonna do things that are going to restore your image Community service , donations , public works .

You wanna show your atonement and , if you can make it public , don't pander , don't make it obvious , but show that you really mean it . You know you are trying to reconcile something that you did and you want to seek forgiveness . Then you can have celebrities , can have this gradual return into public life .

They'll start with like smaller , more low profile engagements like Casey Affleck Oppenheimer no publicity whatsoever . That Casey Affleck is in this movie . Now , he didn't just have an affair , though . He was accused of having an affair , he was accused of sexual assault .

But Christopher Nolan gave Casey Affleck a pass to let him come back into acting , and did it with a huge blockbuster movie , and can I tell you it's pretty smart . It was pretty smart . How do you bring back someone who's been accused of sexual assault ? You do this , you do this . I'm not forgiving Casey Affleck , but the guy won an Oscar .

For goodness sake , for Manchester , by the sea . He needed to come back . I mean , hollywood felt like we gotta get this guy back . How are we gonna get him back ? I don't know . You slide him into a blockbuster and Barbie's gonna win the war of the two and geez , brilliant , all right . And then you also .

They're going to maintain consistency , so they wanna be consistent in their actions . So , if you are a Casey Affleck , if you are a Ben Affleck , if you are a Brad Pitt , if you are a Tiger Woods , whatever it is , you wanna be consistent in what you're doing . Are you giving back ? Are you serving ? Are you doing something that's for the greater good ?

You don't wanna do a one and done . You wanna be someone who looks like you've absolutely made that change . And then the last factor which I'm now putting out there publicly .

That , I think , is one of the most critical factors in the rehabilitation of a reputation during a crisis , particularly after a crisis , and that is time People forgive , people forget People . For lack of a , I don't wanna sound crude about it , but people eventually don't live long . When time happens , when these stories happen , new kids are born . They grow up .

Tiger Woods to a lot of Gen Z . Right now he's just a golfer . He's not a golfer who had a golf club thrown at him in his window , he's just a golfer Now . Granted , tiger Woods last relationship ended rather messy , but Arnold Schwarzenegger again the affair , the reveal with the housekeeper . That was years ago .

Now he's coming out with a new show on Netflix and he's still been Arnold Schwarzenegger . I mean , he was a governor . He just got out of the limelight . People certainly knew he was there , he was certainly doing things , he was with his family , but he was just trying to be a family man . And then now he's coming back into the industry .

All right , in every episode I leave you with one easy to remember takeaway to help you build that indestructible reputation . And here it is . Remember regular people who are listening to this podcast . When it comes to the messy , messy , messy , messy , unforgiving world , painful world of affairs , don't use the playbook of a celebrity .

Don't Google Brad Pitt , don't Google Tiger Woods and figure out what am I going to do . Many of you don't have money to fall back on . Many of you don't have reputation to fall back on . The pain isn't with your fans . The pain is with your family and your partner or your spouse . That's all for this week on the podcast . Thanks so much for listening .

Bye for now .