Everyone.
It's Kali here for this week's Mojo Monday. So I'm going to talk about that a word today, and I think most of you are going to know what the A word is. So I'm going to talk about the word anxiety, and I think a lot of you will agree with me, or maybe you haven't thought about this, but it is a word that is overused at the moment. I think social media has had a huge impact on that.
We tend to our young people and I'm not isolated to young people that many of us are very aware of medical kind of terminology and using it in our everyday language just because it's just so accessible.
At the moment.
I wanted to talk about this because I know a lot of students are heading into exams season right now the schools and the universities, and there are a lot of kids at school, maybe year eight, year nine. I know my son, he's included in this, and they are doing exams for the very first time, so of course that is going to bring up feelings.
In the lead up to exams.
So I just wanted to have a bit of a chat about that, but of course not isolated to those situations.
Now, I know Naming how we feel is helpful.
Of course, research shows us that labeling an emotion can turn down the intensity.
It's a bit like.
Turning down the sound of a blaring speaker. But what if we get the language wrong. What if the naming of the emotion is actually making things worse because we're getting the label wrong.
You know, we feel this.
Wide range of emotions, and when we say we'll name that emotion, we have to kind of go into our bank of vocabulary and match the label with the emotion.
And there is a big chance that we're going to get that wrong.
And what o'ur noticing in our language right now is we automatically go to this word anxiety to describe what used to be called maybe nervousness or worry or concern. There are heaps of other words that we can use for how we're feeling in that moment. But what we're doing is we're slapping this label of anxiety on every flutter, every moment that we feel our nervous system kicking, you know, our racing heart, our shaking hands, or even our worried thoughts,
and every dip in confidence that we have. It's like, oh, here's my anxiety or oh, I'm anxious.
And here's what that can do.
It can inflate something that is very human, that is very natural and manageable, into something clinical.
And what we're.
Doing is we're pathologizing natural human responses where it's it's like it's permanent. It's something that feels permanent, and it feels heavy, and it feels much bigger than us. But most of the time it isn't and not all the time. I am very aware that everyone listening is in a different situation, but I'm also aware that the word anxiety is being overused and that can have major ongoing repercussions. We're using the word anxiety as this umbrella term, and
I don't think that's helpful. So being nervous, let's use the word nervous, which is temporary, and I'm going to talk about.
What it is.
But if we keep focusing on these sort of these feelings of being nervous, it can lead to anxiety. And that can depend on how we approach it, our mindset, our attitude towards the nervousness.
If we automatically call.
Our state of being nervous anxiety and judge it as negative and a threat something to get rid of.
It can actually.
Start to exacerbate and then it can get worse. So this is where we can control our attitude towards it. So if you have been listening to previous episodes, I've mentioned this before. When I do presentations, which I love to do. I love presenting. It's an opportunity for me to make a difference in people's lives. But I can't really nervous and I'm talking really nervous in the lead up to it. But I don't call it anxiety. I don't say I'm anxious about doing the presentation.
I certainly get hyped up, and I have worried thoughts and.
I you know, all the stuff that goes on in your head and your body and the racing heart and all that stuff. But I'm so glad that I that actually happened thanks to me, which might sound a bit weird to you, but I welcome it. And that's because that nervous energy helps me. I'm grateful that it turns up, because what it is is it's.
Telling me you care. You want this to go well.
You want to give people value, So you need to put in the work, you need to show up.
So think about that. On the other side of.
That very uncomfortable, very unpleasant state of nervousness, there is this desire that I do well, and there's no way I would do as well without it. If I didn't care, I wouldn't feel nervous, so I wouldn't bother putting in the work that I do. So what I do is I listen to it. I don't run from it, and I use it as fuel. I prep better, focus more, and I really stay grounded. And it doesn't mean that I'm not super uncomfortable. Well, this is happening, but I'm
just in embracing the whole thing. But it's not anxiety. I'm not anxious. I'm nervous. That's my body gearing up for something that really matters to me. And the same goes for students heading into exams. And I know some schools, as I mentioned, they've got exams in a few weeks and there are kids heading into exams for the first time.
Let's stop casually throwing around the word anxiety. Anxiety is it can be a mental health condition because it's excessive and it can really stop people functioning in their life. It can be so debilitating an anxiety. It often can't be pinpointed to a trigger or an event. But what most of us are feeling is natural. It's a natural, healthy nervousness. Let's not medicalize something that's actually helpful. And so kids going into exams are going to feel nervous.
It's natural, and that's because they care. They care about doing well, They want to do well. Okay, So changing that attitude towards it can actually mean they can use it for fuel and really work out what they need to do. You know, maybe we can change our language and our attitude. And I guess if you can tell me what you're so called anxious about, like an exam or a presentation, or maybe it's a social event, then
that's you being nervous. It's about an upcoming event, and chances are it'll all dissipate once you start, and certainly once it's done. You know, how could you not feel nervous before an exam or how you How could I not feel nervous before a presentation or even a social event where you hardly know anyone. I know, if I'm going to a social event and I'm thinking, oh gosh,
you know, I only know one or two p people. Yes, I'm nervous about that because there's something on the other side of that that I care.
I care about connection. I do care about what other people think of me, whether they're going to like me.
This is all natural. So here's my invitation to you for this week. Instead of jumping automatically to a label, just feel what you feel. Take some time to connect with that feeling. The challenge with this is trying not to judge it in any way, allow yourself to just be, and then you can ask what is on the other side of this feeling?
What is my desire?
Is a desire to add value, a desire to do well, a desire for connection, And what is this feeling trying to tell me?
You know, in my case, it's telling me prepare practice.
Maybe it's telling the students to put the work in and study.
You know.
It might be telling you to take some time out and do something that's enjoyable for you, or maybe it's telling you to have an early night. There's just so many messages that these feelings can tell us. And then it's what do I need to do right now? Because the truth is the only reason we get nervous before something big is that we care. We give a damn and that's not a weakness, that's commitment, that's heart. So let's stop using the word anxiety as an umbrella term
and let's start getting curious. Feel how you feel, stay human, and focus on what you care about, and then show.
Up for that.
So thank you so much for listening. I'm just so full of gratitude for everybody that chunes in every Monday or whatever day you choose to tune into the Mojo Monday episodes. I just really really appreciate it. Have a great week, and I'll catch you next week.
So yeah,