#84 Little Horse & The Shower Tooth Tiger

sounds husky. Is to say I'm I'm I'm pony, I'm a pony because it's a little horse. I mean I technically it's probably not. Is a pony a horse? Do you know you're a horse girl? I think yeah, it's like in the equine family. Yeah, but I'm wondering if a like a well okay, yeah, I mean like we could look it up, but like, honestly, I don't even like, yeah, yeah, it's fine. Um, is a sea horse or horse? No

one knows? Is an eggplant an egg? Last night that was one of the things that Andrew uh wrapped about. I want to say on um, we went on we went live last night on our Instagram Nicky glazer pot Instagram. I want to shout out to everyone who saw that should show. Um I did not know, so I was like busy trying to book tickets back from Canada and figure out how to get back to St. Louis. And it's it's gonna take me like fourteen fifteen hours to get back to St. Louis. Um from Edmonton worth it.

I'm going there. I'm doing twenty minutes of comedy. I'm I'm flying. So that's tomorrow night on Friday. I'm flying in Thursday day to do twenty minutes of comedy on Friday night and then get back on a plane Saturday and fly back. It's wild, Like you know sometimes I do most of the time, I do like an hour and twenty um, and even that seems ridiculous to do to work that much or little, but um anyway, I'm I'm, I'm like last night. Yesterday was the longest day of

my life. I never stopped and I didn't even have a phone with me the whole day, So I don't even know how what my day would I probably would have had some sort of mental breakdown. And had my phone been working in text have been coming through consistently, and um, it's really nice to be off the grid for a day. But um, actually it's stressful. That's a whole other thing. But um, so I finally got through and on one one still on hold. No, Um, I was on my computer. This is like ten o'clock at night.

We tried to watch Mr Corman, Me and Andrew. It was finally my day was over. I got a new phone the last minute, right before the AT and T store closed. Get home and I'm like, oh my god, my day is finally over. I feel good. I got a lot of emails when I got home. I got a really exciting call that I can't wait to talk about. Um from They said, we thank you for calling. You're still an old note. Uh. I'm sitting there. I'm eating. We got some Thai food. I got a double papia salad.

I'm really enjoying it. Um. We put on Mr Corman, which was suggested to us by several besties. You gotta watch Mr Corman. No you don't. I mean, if you have any anxiety this show. This show is like almost like Requiem for a Dream or what I imagine Recuam for a Dream is like in terms of I know you've seen it, No, I've never seen. It's always the movie on Reddit that everyone talks about, like what's the movie that you wish you wouldn't have seen, but you're

glad you did. Kind of thing like hard to Watch, which which, by the way, I was watching thirty Rock the other day and Tracy Morgan gets a job offer for a movie he's trying to egot, which is getting Emmy Grammy Oscar Tony and he's going for the oh and his he got and he's trying to get an Oscar buzzy type movie where he plays like a disabled person or like a you know, like a war movie, and they're like, Tracy, you've got to do this movie.

It's called hard to Watch. It just describes so much of the uh stuff out there, which Fboy Island you would think is ht uh W, but it's not. It's that for me is et dubs, but HT dubs. There's so many shows that I don't understand why people watch them when we are living in a world of extreme anxiety. I mean, and this is what the show is about. Mr Corman is Joseph Gordon Levitt J g L's UM new show that he directed, wrote, produced UM. Maybe one of those things he should have given to someone else,

because I was overwhelmed by this uh production. Everyone's telling me to watch it. I got a bestie emphatically telling me that I would love it. And this was probably a d M I got from a Bessie who we had had some history. Like sometimes I look and I'm go oh, me and this Bessie have communicated a lot. I don't remember everyone, Like if you come out to me and say I'm Spangled Bush thirty two, I'm not

gonna remember our exact I can't do that. There's maybe a couple of names that I would remember that I just talked to consistently. That are our friends and friends fans UM. But generally, like I have to remind myself, oh, do I have a history with this person? So this person was someone I like trusted their opinion. You gotta watch Mr Corman. I was like, got it, noted it? When it comes up, I will remember to watch that.

Andrew last night was like, you want to watch Mr Corman because we tried to watch UM The Greatest Showman, and I was like, he puts it on. He goes, you wanna watch the gariest showman. I was like, m hm, He's like it's really good. No, he didn't say that. He goes, let's watch it. I was like, all right, fine, I'm just like eating my provisyle looking at Air Canada flights. It starts, which I do love that song. That's like,

this is the greatest show because I danced to it. Uh. At the finale of Dancing with the Stars, Bobby boonenes like finale dance. He invited me back to like dancing it, and it was so much fun because I got to dance with like no pressure of being eliminated. So it's just like fun. And if you watch his finale dance on YouTube, try to find me I I dare Where's Waldo is easier to play? Then find Nikki Glazer in a on a show she was a cast member on Dancing with the Source forgot about me, by the way,

completely forgot about me. Um as soon as he voted me off. You guys know my history with it still tied up, like still have a lot of resentments. Was on that show, loved it, obsessed with it, got voted off. Oh everyone so sad Nikki's leaving tears tears tears, first voted off, I didn't even like as I know him on a lot on Tangents. I'll get back to everything, I promise you. So my A D D meds are

kicking in. Garrett Power. Garrett P. From f Wight Island is was one of the first voted off on the show, among a couple others, and he read a poem to Nikia on the first episode. Uh, and it was like this, like really heartfelt poem, and I remember thinking this would be good if you're you know, fourth voted off, fifth, like and on and on. First voted off, No one cares,

No one remembers you. Sorry, Garrett P. It's just true. Actually, on our show they do remember you because we keep you around for at the Nice Guy Grotto or Limbro. But he didn't know that at the time. He's pulling out a poem, and I remember thinking, Garrett, now you can't you just gotta say goodbye and realize your first voted off, no one's gonna remember to you. Because when I was first voted off, I did cry. On Dancing with Stars, I cried when I was voted off last

comic standing in the second time. I did it because they've asked me about UM calling my parents to tell them I didn't make it, and it made me cry because my parents were so sweet about it and UM, and I was embarrassed that I cried, but it was real. And then I cried on Dancing with the Stars because it was so embarrassing, you know, And that's why I cried. But I didn't. I remember when I started crying. I

was like, NICKI don't do this. No one came, No one's emotional about you leaving, no one's invested in you get your first voted off, Like just get out of get out of the way, like no one cares, and I will, I swear to you. As soon as I left, you were there, Noah, weren't you? No one care, not like that. It was like I walked out of that room and they forgot that I was on the show. It was like, pack up your knives and go. Were you in the trailer? Was I was blacked out in anger?

We were in the trailer with me? It wasn't. I hope you blacked that out too. I it was not a pretty scene. I was like throwing my leotard around and just like half naked screaming in front of my dog. Off your your eyelashes as that I'll never forget, as you were talking about it so funny. Yeah, I ripped off those eyelashes because never seen anyone just peel eyelashes off like that. I know I'm so rough anyway, and especially when I'm just like heartbroken and have to go

home and I'm not even packed. Um, but I just knew that being first voted off it like didn't matter, and so I was embarrassed that I was. So the most embarrassing thing about getting voted off first was that people had to act like they cared. I My most uncomfortable thing I think is burdening anyone with caring about

my feelings. I have a really hard time crying in front of people because I feel like people feel like they have to stop everything and comfort me, and that it's I talked about it with my therapist, Like I have a real hard time I have to pay people to listen to me cry because I just feel like, even though I have a podcast where all I do is like talk, and people just have to listen for whatever reason, me crying, like I feel like people have to like hug me and touch me and they don't

want to. And my therapist was like, do you not want to when people cry? And I'm like, maybe, and it's not because I don't want to. Sometimes when people start crying, I go, Okay, I gotta cancel the rest of my plans today. Like there's a part of me that goes this is priority. Everything else has to go away. And I get kind of stressed out about that that I have to be. I have to stay with this person and take care of them. Probably steps from my childhood,

even though no one in my childhood cried. Maybe that's why. But I just I hate when people pity me, and it's not deserved, especially when you're verst voted off. So that's just like a whole other issue. Let's get back to Mr Corman. I don't even know how I got from that to that, but I will say that Mr corman Um was disappointing and really stressful, and it's a show about a guy who has anxiety and is dealing

with panic disorder. I am so tired of shows where women are presented as batship normal women, women who you know, by all accounts, their characters are being presented as like, this is a woman this guy would date, and then the woman turns out to be just so insane and so irrational, naggy, just a bitch. And if you watch the pilot episode of Mr. Corman, you know who I'm talking about. He like goes to this bar. He's He's Joseph Gordon Lovett. He's a teacher, fifth grade teacher, lives

in Los Angeles, broke teacher, lives with a roommate, approaching forties. Single. I don't really know what this show is about. Still. I saw an episode and a half, maybe two episodes, Yeah, I saw too, and um, it's just about his kind of descent into anxiety. The whole second episode has this bell chiming every I would say minute. So as soon as you forget that there's this weird clanging bell, it comes again. And I was honestly, I was like, Andrew,

turned this off. It's it's causing me so much anxiety, and he goes, well, I think that's what this is about. It's like trying to give you the anxiety that this guy feels. And I was like, okay, I guess in that way, it's a cool piece of art because it's causing you to feel anxious and understand what a panic disorder is like, and like chronic anxiety is, Like does anyone need to know what that is? By the way,

is anyone confused about what anxiety is? You know? At one point in the show, he opens up his phone and it says global climate crisis worse than we thought, you know, Like there's some headline which I thought was a lovely moment because that is the headline that always sends me into a panic. It like just expedites whatever panic I'm feeling is when I read a climate change

news and there's no good climate change news. By the way, there's never once been an article with here's a thing about the climate that's it's going well, wait, what's that noise? Is that nature sounds? Am I going crazy? Wait? There are nature sounds coming from something? Oh it's my alarm

on my Oh my god. I had to download an alarm clock on my computer because I didn't have a phone yesterday, so I picked nature sounds to wake me up instead of like, like, I think what we wake up to if you're waking up to a really annoying alarm clock sound and I know you're like, well, I won't wake up any other way. Try something else, even try the absence of noise. Like I have a white noise machine and sometimes if I get a call, it shuts off and will wake me up, just that the

silence will wake me up. Anyway. It was nature sounds coming out of nowhere, but it was calming. It was almost like, and that's so funny. I was just talking about the climate crisis, and then all of a sudden there was like tree frogs and like a rainforest sound, and it was like bulldozing, you know the I always say the rainforest cafe. There was one time I saw

it in a mall. It was one of the funniest pictures and I've never taken It was like a rainforest cafe was completely gutted and like under construction, and like there was just like rubble in this place. And I was like, that is the most authentic Rainforce cafe I've ever seen. Like, let's let's make all the Rainforce cafes updated to have no trees and just loggers running through, uh, just decimating species that we haven't even you know, studied yet or no exist. Let's destroy them before we know

they exist, So let me wrap this up. Mr Corman is not my type of show. It is the female character that is brought in. What was the show I was watching the other day that I was just like, I am so tired of female characters being written by men. And I know that's a thing that gets said a

lot of like the male gaze. Uh, there was a there's a really great video if you watch the male gaze versus the female gaze, exploring movies and how a director, writer, producer through the lens of like, the women presented through the male gaze are always either sexual jacks or like the worst people ever because there they hate their wives or whatever, and so they have to take it out in their scripts and they're the way they shoot things.

But there's a really interesting video that explores Birds of Prey versus Um Suicide Squad, which is uh, you know, studying what's her name, uh, Margot Robbie's character, Um, the one with the pigtails. We all know, Harley quinns Harley Quinn. Um,

it's it's this girl does a whole like. Uh. So Suicide Squad was done by a man, of course, and then Birds Prey was directed by a woman, and it shows the difference of like the shots the wardrobe, how she's sexualized in one and Birds of Prey is I guess I haven't seen either of them, but undeniably better than um then Suicide Squad, although some would say Birds of Prey wouldn't even exist. I Suicide Squad wasn't decent enough.

But it's a really interesting I always gonna roll my eyes at those things of like the male gaze, like it's just almost like God, men are gonna hate us because all we do is talk about how they suck. But it's really interesting to see how. I mean, you can't you can't deny that men perceive women differently than than women do, and it's just interesting to see it

through cinema. But I gotta say, Joseph Gordon love and I know he is an artist and someone who I would probably never say this to his face and deny that I ever said it, but the way that he wrote these characters, this female character, and pretty much actually he's across the board every single character in this show.

Please watch it. Please, everyone watched the pilot episode of this or the first episode, and tell me what you think, because everyone on this show behaves like a character and curb your enthusiasm, and by that I mean curb your enthusiasm. Sometimes can be HD dubs, just because every character no one would say that, you know, Like Larry David will be crossing the street and someone go, are you gonna

pick up that trash man? And he's like, well, I didn't throw it on that trash so they're like pick it up, and You're like, no one talks like No one confronts people as much as ever Larry Dave gets confronted, you know, But you know that's for comedic effect. This show is supposed to be like realism. Tell me one line in that show that anyone would ever say in real life. And I know it's a show, but no one talks like that. And the female character that he hooks up with is one of the worst people I

have ever seen. And guess what I think it's on you. I know, Joseph Gordon Love is supposed to be the victim in that scenario. This girl is so mean to him. Well, why are you attracted her? Why did you go home with her? Why would you sign up for this abusive person?

When really I think it's this is a way for men to watch TV and further bolster their hatred of women because this girl is presented as like a cool, attractive girl that you would take home from a bar, and then she turns out to be a total asshole. No one would ever talk this way. He can't get an erection. She's a forty year old woman, going, what does this happen all the time? To you? Is it me? It's like who no forty year old woman would ever yell at a guy that loses direction on a first

date and make it about them. I just don't see that happening anymore. Maybe yours at home screaming phone saying yes, it would happen. But so this is all leads to the fact that me and Andrew went live last night. We're gonna get to it in a second. I want to talk more about Mr Corman. I promise you we won't talk about the Bachelorette because it's over. Uh and

I'm about to get on the flight to Canada. Hey, I was just talking about Mr Corman, And by talking, I mean I was like furiously going off on how I don't know, it's shot really beautifully. I really like the way he directs. It's kind of like shot like five days of summer cool angles, Like he's cinematically like has a really good eye. Um. Even though uh, the writing though, especially for that female character and pretty much every character we realized sucks on the show. This is

a guy. We don't know why we're rooting for this guy. He's an asshole. He's not that. There's nothing. No. One just looked it up while we were waiting for you to come in, and she's she read that it's a comedy drama. Do you think it's funny? Did you laugh? Ever? And because we throw that around loosely, I guess it's quirky. Ne'er once did I laugh? I do feel like it's setting it up, like I think it's slow playing it of like I don't need four episodes before I get

a goddamn laugh. That is bullshit. That is show. That's two. That's no. You find a laugh within four minutes or I'm out, And that is even too long. You do not call yourself a comedy just because you once did a project with Zoey Deschanel. You know what, I'm sorry. I also like realized when I was watching it that there was too much. And I never really think about editing because I don't really like see things that way. But when you're watching this show, a lot of it

is the other characters in the scene. Like it's not like a point of view shot, so I was noticing. I'm just like, there was not like a lot of over the shoulder, so it's just like almost just like one continued shot, you know what. I almost felt like it felt like you were on drugs, and I think that's why it was. It was it felt like an anxiety attack the way. But I think that was cool.

Wait was shot, but what were you so like I was noticing like the faces, Like so if I was talking and you have to be active listening, I was like focusing on the other person's face and it was just too much for me. Where I wasn't getting interesting. Does that make sense, you know? But because it's really hard to describe what you're trying to describe. But I I think I kind of whatever a good actor even

when they're not talking. It's like paying attention in a way or like I don't know, under something about to put engine. It just it just didn't feel real. It felt like we were watching a play that's I told you that. While we're watching it, I was like, this feels too actory. The thing is, Joseph Gordon Lovett is obviously a good actor. But I just I love don Juan. We were talking about that. He it was the guy

with a porn addiction with Charla Johansson. He was great in that that was written by him directed, So I love his work. I did um the roast of Rob Blow. I think he uh he m C that he was the Oh no, no, no, I feel I forget. I told I just told him. I remember on one roast he was the host, you know, like the what's the m C? And I said, Joseph Gordon Lovett, um, you're so adorable. I bet you eat pussy, but only with the crust cut off. That was Joe Kristen by h

Connor mcspadden. Um. Although actually I think I wrote it. I'm just kidding. No, I didn't write egg, but I just like that show really infuriated me because of that female character when he didn't get hard. I mean pretty much everyone in the show is terrible, like not not a bad actor, but like just a terrible yes, but not in this way. It was so egregiously bad. No, do you know any woman who would behave that way in her late thirties? There's only one good line that

I because I wasn't really paying attention. So if J g L you're listening, I have no right to trash her show like this. I was like half eating, Like I was in my phone looking up flights on my computer. I was distracted so like, and there was a I was already anxious. There's this gong bell going off. But the thing is that, uh, there was one great line in it. He hooks up with this girl. He meets her at a bar. He's trying to like figure out what do what do people in their late thirties do?

Like his life kind of sucks. His roommates always just want the same play video games. He's like, the only alternative is going to a bar, Like isn't there something in between? So he ends up at a bar by himself. He meets this girl. She's like smoking a cigarette, like why aren't you drinking? And like why don't you smoke? Like just like kind of giving him ship. She's like a bit, and then they go home together and they're hooking up on the couch and he can't. He can't.

He loses his direction and she immediately gets upset with him, which I don't think that happened to me. No, no, no, has anyone gotten upset with you? No? No, no no, I'm saying that's what she said. Yeah, this is that's what she said. This has never happened to me. Uh does this send to you a lot? That's what she said to him. There's been women that I haven't been able to get hard or like, can they confront you with it?

They don't confront, but they'll they'll they will blame themselves, sure, but they won't confront, but they won't blame themselves in front of you. They'll just quiet. You assume they're blaming themselves because they're a little bit quieter. And like what she say, I'm trying to remember the exactly And this isn't a girlfriend. This is a hook up, a one time hook up, one time hook up. If I would never happen, well, I've been hammered drunk, right, okay, but

let me just say the one great line. So she's like, Noah, you'll like this. She's like this, like kind of she's like approaching for she's probably my age and that's why I loved this line. And she's a total count, and I guess this line kind of like really cemented that she's supposed to be a count and he's actually a count too. Because they're both single and their forties, why aren't they married? And she's just like, you know, they're

they're about to part ways. She's like, you have a fucking limptic and your breath smells, and he's like, my breath smells because I smoked one of your cigarettes. I would have never gone home with you, like I was

having to like I was gagging kissing you. They were being so many to each other, and then you think that there's gonna be this like detent of like they kind of agree that they're both shitty and then they'll make out, you know, like there's this moment and the and the only problem with having subtitles on our close caption, which I have all the time, because you can never hear anything. I'm like losing my um hearing, probably because I am so freaking loud, even I'm annoyed with my

own voice. Today it's kind of hoarse because we were singing last night, which I'll get to. But she goes this joke with joke was roomed. Sometimes close captions ruin the joke because so many jokes are because you don't see them coming. That's what a joke is is a surprise of like, oh I didn't expect that. That surprises me, ha, and then you laugh because laughing is a response to surprise because surprise is fear because it's off the usual. So this is like evolutionary and if I'm wrong, please

someone correct me. That knows better, but I think, uh, you know, scientists or anthropologists have kind of determined that laughing is a response to surprise. Surprise is fear. If you're scared of something like a saber tooth tiger back when your cavemen, baring your teeth would scare the predator away better than not, so like going like this, uh, laughter is a way for you to be is a h an involuntary response to surprise, so that you bare your teeth and maybe survive because and you scare the

animal that you have canines. Does that make sense unless you're you? And I mean, you gotta show that your molders to someone and the people really get scared. They go, is this guy taking care of himself he's probably got a shower toothbrush tiger. So this girl says, So they're at this moment and he just looks at her and he goes, do you know at what? At what point?

And you think they're gonna he's gonna say something sweet because they've been yelling, and then they kind of have this moment of like calm and they're both looking at each other and it's a close up on her face and she just it's not even on her face yet. As he's saying, it goes to her face and it's just a shot of her where the lighting is bad. She kind of you can see her skins a little bit.

You can see how old she is, which is a great shot, and she's beautiful and it's not I'm not saying that it's bad how old she is, but it just fits with this line and I would give the show an Emmy just for the scene. Do you remember this? Yeah? What is? He say? So he looks at her and he says, do you know at what point in your life you knew like when you were a little goes, think back to when you were he goes, when you were young, when you were a young girl, and he goes,

not like a child, but like a younger woman. Do you remember at what point in your life you knew that you were going to die alone? And it was just so. It's but I saw it coming because the caption was up. But if I wouldn't have, I think I might have loved this show because it would have really that that line was so And the girl's face. While he says that the girl's face, it's the right kind of bags under her eyes. She kind of has a smoker's pallor like the girl. I know this girl.

I noticed girl that keeps partying throughout her thirties or even and it could be a guy chip on her shoulder. She's mad because one guy broke her heart and gave her her bees, and now she takes it out on the rest of everyone, but maybe not her bees, but you know what I mean, Like, but yeah, a guy has treated her shitty. She was very beautiful in college.

He probably over partying in college. He probably gotta. Now she has an addiction to alcohol and she can't stop partying, and her friends have fallen off and herself in a bar. She lives alone. She doesn't have roommates. She's just listen, I am that. Yeah, and you might be that girl, but you probably if you're listening to this podcast, you are not a bit like that. But does that line really?

I loved it because I felt it so hard because there have been times where I'm like, I've had that realization that like I am of an age where most women my age are like married with with my level of success. My I'm not not bragging, but like I'm a good looking lady. I stay in like I am social, I meet a lot of people most there's something going on with me that I don't have a partner if I if I do want one, and I do want one, so there's something If someone said that to me, I

would feel so seen. And I think that's why I loved it. I want to get to really a very long time. Yeah, until you met wee baby tomorrow baby, I love her, give her, give her a hug around that tiny little waist, her waist so fucking tiny that like I don't it's a new hot that has emerged. It's a new like I don't think girls had bodies like this in the when I was growing up, Like it is a type of body, the tiny waist, the perfect, but sorry to sexualize you. Brughtn up, but like tell

your body like to stop being so hot. But she's just got like a tiny waist. It almost looks it's the kind of body that, like, I think a lot of girls have like lipos A lot of skinny women out there have liposuction. I didn't know that. Um, everyone listening that when you see I always thought lipi section was for like already kind of bigger women, to just make them a little less bigger. No judgment there, but

that's what I thought it was. I didn't know skinny women like I could get LiPo section and look like way like I could kind of turn a to an Instagram thought if I sucked out, I could suck out my waist put it in my ass. Brenna looks like someone who has had that stuff done. But that's like her natural body. And I don't know where it comes. Like it's a new type of hot that has emerged, and I don't know where it came from. When he puts athletic clothes on, it's dulus. Why are you every

morning other minute? Um No, we love you so much and we miss you, Branna, We miss you, and I say that like with sarcasm, but I actually do miss you and love you and I'm so excited for all the good news in your life. If you're listening, um, really quick, we gotta get to the news. But right before, I just want to give a shout out to everyone

who was on our Instagram live last night. We had no we had two hundred people, which for we have like fourteen points I think two thousand followers on our Instagram, which is insane and it really speaks volumes for how popular our show is because I know podcasts and how many followers they have when they don't have a private account.

We have a private out, so people have to request access and like want it right, and that means we have pressed except fourteen thousand times, which is kind of crazy too between the three of us, but I'm not doing it mostly I think it's Noah, and um, so you've pressed your phone times, and Andrew, it's you, Okay, it's really a lot as and there, Yeah, well you should you wrote the jokes and so so last night. Noah, it was so so last night. I just want to

say that we uh, we did an Instagram live. I didn't know that Andrew had gone live on Nikki glazer Pod. I thought he went live on his. So I'm on my computer just like in the background, kind of being a bit, like not a bit, but like like not on you know, like but and then I realized how important the best these are to me, because as soon as I saw that it was Nicki lazer Pod, I did a double take, and I go, is that Nicky lazer Pod? I go, Andrew, why didn't you tell me?

I would have been so much nicer, like I love our fans so much I was. I wouldn't have been fake. I was just like, it's not my When Andrew goes live on his it's not my. I am a a bowl in the background. I'm a part of the set. I'm not like a focal point that's my name's on that. And I want to and and if they're watching, I never want to make a bestie feel like they're not seeing because I appreciate you guys listening so much, and you know, as someone with low self esteems, some days

I'm like, why are they listening? I gotta be honest, Like there's some days that I just go, like they like me, they really like me, Like Sally Field accepting an oscar. So I appreciate you. Um, but we went crazy last night. It was so fun, I really, Andrew. I just want to thank you so much for um being down to to go. First of all, I never am someone who's like, let's go live. Andrew does it, and I'm always like, I guess I'll go, but I'm dying to go live all like, I will go live

any time, even if it's on his account. I love being in the background. I always never want to start it because I feel like it's so like, look at me, you know. But I'll let Andrew do that because he's not He's a man. He doesn't have a problem with like asking for attention. I'm like, I have it in like inside my bones that I don't deserve it even though I demand you guys listen to me an hour and a half every day. UM. So none of this

is really checking out Nikki. Uh. But anyway, Andrew, I just want to thank you for uh like that was so fun last night. And um one of the best sis requested the guitar and I was sitting there quietly like dying for someone to request that I play guitar because I like need to perform, but I don't want to make anyone watch me. I want someone to ask to watch me, because I'm never going to ask someone

to watch me. It's too embarrassing. And you were talking about it, uh, probably five or six times where you're like, I want to do a concert on zoom for like five or six or anyone that's like into Taylor Swift and maybe I'll see it. Yeah, like people whatever, And so I kind of was thinking about that in a way where I was like, this could be this is a fun moment where she can show her talents where where the stakes are lower, and I'm right by you.

I'm having one. We had these microphones that are like amplified that are unbelievable. I don't know. They got these karaoke mics that got sent to me by Cosmo magazine. I did this video for them that's gonna come up pretty soon where they sent me a bunch of stuff that's one is an an expensive version and one's the expensive version. And I was supposed to do a blind like appraisal of each of these, like where I didn't know which was which, but I forgot to give you

the box to organize for me. So to make it blind. They were like, is someone there so they can take all the things in the box, so you don't know which is which. So I went through the box. I already knew kind of some of the stuff, but one was these karaoke mics. And they're so cool. You guys gotta get one. Um they're called like Bonnaroo or bonham Mic or something, but um, they're amazing. And the amplification

of them, it's like, there's such a fun device. We'll we'll see them a lot on our Instagram live because we'll be using it again. But we were, we were singing on them. And then Andrew went live and he started rapping about egg plants. Whether it's an egg or plant? Great question. And then I guess baby eggplants look like eggs. That's why they got their name that way, That's what someone said in our comments. And then someone asked to

play guitar. I instantly picked up the guitar. You you know, I got a like an amp in the sucking room. I picked up. I had my own mike, he had his little karaoke mike, and we I got to sing all these Tailor Swift songs. I pulled up the lyrics so he could sing with me. Some of them were terrible, some of them were better than others. I didn't read any comments because I was so scared someone who's going to be like, what do I want? Thank you so much. It was so freaking fun. And that's why I'm a

pony today. A pony, yeah, a little horse. Oh I call it a pony. Oh I thought a pony. I was just bringing you in on a joke. I already made a joke that I had with the with the fans that you weren't in yet. I like, I like, I thought, like you're a pony because you're like happy like a pony. I see a pony like prancing, like I'm a pony in that way. And I'm also a little horse because I was screaming, I'm of the deep bed. I mean you sounded great. Oh, thank you, Andrew. Let's

get to the news. That news apparently, oh man, it's Thursday, but you know what that means. You're probably listening on Friday morning. However, I'm hope we have all the swell. Do you have a great weekend out there? Be safe, mask up, no condom. Okay, lot's have fun. All right, first story, it's a big news story. It's a doozy. This one is actually a doozy. Um Andrew Como doesn't think he crossed the line. As he resigns, he says he's Italian. I heard this. I mean, I mean it

is wild the Italian. I saw a license plate frame the other day on my run and it said I'm Italian on it. It's just and I go, we know it was a vest. But you know, some people just lean into being Italian so much, like I love family and food, I'm Italian. It's like, oh yeah, real original. Have you been to Italy? And I'm not trying to brag, but if you go to Italy, they're all like metrosexual men who were like ty like the idea that Italian

the Italian, and then there's like Italy Italian. Yeah, yeah, they would hate Italy Italians even though they wear jewelry and slicked back their hair and their metrids actually on their own way, yes, yes, but it's just so. And they like kiss and they hold hands down the street and stuff, and like did you see those two Olympians that like we're nearly making out because they were on the same team Truck and Field team, and they were all like it's they start kissing each other and like

hugging each other. They're two really hot guys that are just so excited they won gold and one's being interviewed and the other comes up and it's just like jumping up. I don't know if they're Italian, but they were some kind of European where like it's okay for men to show affection and kiss each other. It was so hot. It's on a subreddit called suddenly Gay that I follow, where like things start out like not gay and then suddenly it gets really gay and it's a really great

like you suddenly become gay from what you're watching. Oh, that could be too, but no, it's usually like what's happening becomes kind of gay. I mean this idea that you know whatever, you know, times have changed. Back in my day, I could, you know, finger a girl's asshole and that's just be an Italian and sixty Yeah, I know. I use that argument though with some stuff of like oh I used to say that word because back then that word wasn't taboo and I didn't know it was wrong.

You know, the en we're just became bad to say, but he kept groping them today, so you can't you need to change with it. Yes, he could say back in nineteen seventy, I might have girls like blood. It's it's check and me. Yeah, I'm grabbing tents over it. And me is the name of the lawsuit filed by the tree women. Who have you had to deal with

greeting him in a private hallway? Um yeah, it's it's I'm sure that Italian Americans are rolling their eyes at this and their uh, you know, Cannoli's do you roll a Cannoli? But there was a time during COVID do you remember for like two months where he was God, you know, it's just so funny when these politicians like these girls, plenty of women that I knew, were like, I want to fuck Andrew Coma. Yeah, there was a saying I forget what it was. There's something about like

como sexual. L Oh. Yeah, see that's the thing we used to be able to say and now we can't anymore. Um no, that that is really interesting. He was like that. You know, he was heralded as this hero and he was going he got an Emmy, he got an admance, he put out a book before he put out a yeah during COVID saying how wonderfully he handled it, which he didn't. I'm sorry, this is a narcissist. These are all the signs of a narcissist who when these people

come out and get me too. I mean literally every single man who has been me too, um has I would say maybe not Matt Lower. That was one that I really was shocked by because he just he never like came off to me like a like an asshole before that. I'm sure people that if I knew anyone who worked with them, they would have been like, oh, he's an asshole and then and they wouldn't have even shared a me too story, just like he's not fun

to work with. Share me one example of someone who is disgusting with women and feels entitled to women who work beneath him or are on the same level a lot of times or above him, just feels entitled to women, and show me that man who is also nice to men.

I think that there's one case in particular that I remember this all opened wide for me was a personal friend of mine who worked on a show with one of these dudes that have been me too, said that, um, he was triggered by all the stories coming out about this man doing gross things to women because he was a man who worked for this guy on a show and in the stories that of this man making women

uncomfortable and degrading them. And he said, we're so similar in nature to how he felt just um, not sexually being obviously preyed upon, but just humiliated, an office bullied, um, powerless, all of those feelings. Men that generally do the gross things to women are doing gross things to everyone. And if you want to know who's doing gross things to men or to women, look, look who's just being an asshole?

Look who who? Look who you work with? Who is just a despicable asshole who thinks he's above everyone else? And that's someone who probably does discussing things to men or women based on their sexual preference. Yeah, I mean there was I forget who wrote the tweet. But do

you think that an adult, an adult can be groomed? Right, there's no age on unlike driven, But at what point do you think an adult has agency over their own like decisions where it's like, well you could have made it, you could have got it, you could have not done that. You know what I mean when you don't work for them, Uh, your your money, your financial stability, and your job doesn't depend on them. They're not in a position of power over you, dictated by how much they make or the

corporate ladder. And I mean, yeah, you got to have some kind of That's why I like got managed. Just Gord Lovett, for his character, seemed to be the victim of this woman's aggression when it's really like, well, why did you go home with this girl who was nothing

but mean? Do you before that? And I'm not saying he deserved that because he like asked for it, but yeah, I mean when I've been doing press about F boy and everyone's like, how did you know the difference between that boy and I'm like, if I'm attracted to them, they're probably an F boy. And that's because I need to work on myself to be attracted to something that's not like I have some agency in the fact that I've been manipulated and heartbroken by men. So both could

be true. I guess I guess you could say I do. I should have had a little bit more agency. Also, they had power over me, so I couldn't do it. You know what I mean, Like these women shouldn't have been wearing the highest Italian fashions. I mean, if you're gonna wear a Valentino, you're gonna get your for that. But no, I mean I never uh like in a position of power with someone like Cuomo who just like thinks he's above everything. You think they're better than everyone, doesn't.

He always looks sweaty. He just looks like he's always sweaty, and he probably has a wife beater on underneath. And if that man tried to like hug me or molest me, I would be frozen in fear and allow it because he has this like intimidated like give him what he wants vibe and that, And honestly he looks sweaty and deranged like he could hurt you. That's the thing people always go, why didn't like with the Louis thing of did he block the door he was masturbating in the

in front of the women. He didn't block the door. When a guy is jerking off in front of you out of nowhere, even if it's not out of nowhere, even when he goes I'm about to say about my dick, Is that cool? And it's just even that statement is out of nowhere. As a woman, you just don't know what you show your teeth and then he goes, never mind putting my dick away. Let's get to the next story too much. Uh okay, this one and I don't know if the doozy uh, it's I think the story.

Second story always has to be a doozy no matter what. Okay. Many parents are saying no to sleepovers because of anxieties like sexual abuse, but child development experts say sleepovers can be important developmental step for children, helping them navigate independence, practicetibility, and gain exposure different family cultures like Italians. I would be reluctant to allow um my daughter or son who was of an age. Well, you remember sleep, I mean sleep, But when I was a kid, it was so cool

to sleep like age. Did you guys start sleepovers? Well, my parents literally sent us to sleepover camp for two months. They sent my little brother to sleep away camp when he was six for two months, six years old. That the most wild thing you've ever heard. And it wasn't even our camp that we were at. It was a camp like a couple of miles down the road. But he was six. I mean it is that makes that breaks my heart for a year. I mean I was like, I think I was eight or nine when I got

sent to but anyways, Sleepover wanted to go. That's different. I would just be worried about any men that live at the house, any fathers, brothers. If I had a daughter or a son um and if I think at about the age of like thirteen, I would be like we and I'm not a parent, and I have no idea what I would actually do, So just please listen to this with a grain of salt. Is someone who's not a parent, and so I don't understand what it's actually like. But I would think that I would be

a little bit cautious under the age of thirteen. If I had a child that was I would I would need to prepare them that if anything ever happened. I would probably give the same dog my mom gave. Would just never be alone with a man in a room if if if he looks like someone that could hold you down and like you couldn't get away, don't be alone because and if and if you are like I don't know, hold your phone so it does that emergency thing.

I don't I would be just like cautious of the adult men at sleepover as more so than the bullying that might happen from the children. But don't you, like I remember sleepovers? I I don't. I mean, I know, obviously this happens, but I just don't remember to parents ever really being it be like me and Jeff are gonna go play Sega for six hours and then sleep and you know, yeah, I just don't remember hanging out with the parents that at all. And I'm not saying

that that. I just wonder, like how close do you have to be with the other parents to feel comfortable sending your kid that, Like could it just be another kid on the team and you don't really even never met the father? Or like how how well should the parents don't know? I would want to just like know what kind of house they're going to. I would want to. I would just want to meet the parents because I feel like I could not that you can always get a vibe of who's gonna molest your child or not.

Certainly that's not the case. These people are great at grooming and convincing everyone in a child's life that they're in good hands. Um, But no, I would I would be uh, I would just make sure my child knows that uh they or I would do my best because you can never know for sure, to make sure that my child is comfortable telling me anything weird that happens.

And it's okay to make a huge scene if you feel uncomfortable at all, and that you will never be I will never or be mad at you for um, like being scared of something that isn't actually there or something, you know what I mean. And yeah, and I also think that like there is in the article it talks about how like you should give your kid the ability to have freedom to then make choices even if they are uncomfortable, not like molestation, but like something you know,

just going somewhere else. If you shelter them too much, essentially you're they're not going to become good adults. So there is a line there. Do you remember any like sleepovers for yourself, like that we're weird or or not weird, like sexually weird, but like that we're funny or anything. Would you have a lot of sleep over? You know? Yeah, I mean that's all my friends and I did was sleep over at each other's houses. And it was like

the most fun thing. I would never deny my children that experience because it was just it created such one of my first ever sleepovers, I called I had to leave because I was crying in the middle of night because because I always working to Freddy Krueger. You know, have they sent me to a boot camp and crying about Freddy Krueger. Yeah, I was like I was like eight or something. I was like crying and my mom had to come get me at like two in the morning.

I couldn't sleep through the night. She had a drunk drive over there. Yeah, well she yeah, she she picked me up on her bike, a bicycle and dragged me home on pegs. But yeah, one time I got I was a sleepover. Did you face conferences for that at school? Did people make fun of you? Do you remember anyone making fun of you for that? I don't think the kid went to my school. I think he was on my team. And no, I never faced concert not that I know of. I'm sure they probably talk you. Parents

probably changed schools for you. They're like, we don't want you to have to do with the fallout from this. We're going to switch school, send you away to a Remember one time we were billow fighting me and my friends, and I fell back. I hit my head on the corner of the fire h like a fire pit or like whatever what is it called fireplace? Fireplace, and I cracked my head open, gushing blood and I'm just running around with blood coming down, going you did it? Now?

You didn't. Now, that's a hilarious thing that we saying. I don't even know what it means. It sounds like something your mom was sometimes something you got from a mom. Oh well you did it now, Like you know how like kids to kind of pick up things that they're at saying, like there's that one little girl that goes, well, if the monster shows up, I'm gonna I'm gonna be like,

what are you doing to here? Rassle? But there's a little girl that's like my rogue asshole and it's like, oh you know that girl, here's her dad dog like that. Um No, I I went the bed. Uh And I just pretended like I blacked it out because it was so traumatic. I went the bed in. Um. I was

a bedwinter until fourth grade. But third grade I went to bed at Molly Colier's and Ellie Bog and Molly were there and m Monday morning at school there was show and tell, and Molly didn't have anything to show, so she raised her hand and told the whole I'm not joking, you raised her hand. And this was at a point in my life where I would go to the nurse every day because I was just so scared of I was like a dork and no one liked me, and so I'd go to the nurse every day and

just be sick so I could go home. And I thought about running away from school multiple times. Like I just like hated be I hate. I was just like had no friends and like with such a dork and like, yeah, I just hated it. And Molly was like my first friend. And then Ellie became her friend. And Ellie was like, uh, supreme bully and uh. And I went the bed and either Molly or Ellie shared with the class that Nikki Glazer Nikki what the bed at um? I think it

was Ellie. She was like Nicky with the bed at Molly's house. On went on Friday night, and I'm not joking, you would We had a substitute teacher that day. I went over to his desk and said, I have to go. I was like after Show and Tell. I think she got yelled at for sharing it everyone. Like I think I blacked out because I don't remember the response because

it must have been terrible. And I walked over to the desk and I remember saying, um, you know, I waited long enough that it didn't seem connected, but I was like, I don't feel good. Can I go to the nurse? And I remember the substitut teacher was like a like a boy, he was probably in his twenties, and he just goes he I remember him knowing that he knew I was lying, but that he was like, yeah, get out of here, kid, and like it was just

like I know what you're running from right now. And I remember being so embarrassed that he knew and like almost literally had almost written it already for me and was like I was just waiting for you to come up here and get out of here. And I went to the nurse and just like you know, cried and then my mom got a call from the counselor. In fourth grade, Um, I had suffered with like the embarrassment of that all through third grade into fourth grade and

Molly and I had no friends. I almost going to cry because it was like the worst time. That's when I met Kristen was fourth grade, thank god, because I had no friends. But I remember Mrs Pole was our counselor at our school. She would always come in with like a puppet dragon to talk about about the dangers of smoking or whatever. I don't know, like that's probably too young for that on your hand, what I just feel like that might be a thing from what keep going.

I mean, I don't even know what. I just wonder what you were doing just that and who wrote that for you? So so then so she walked in. I don't even know what you said, division, I'm not getting your train of thought at all. So she walked in. I remember my fourth grade class. This is months and months, I mean it's the whole school year after that incident. She walks into my class, and I all I want

is to be invisible. I don't ever want anyone to single me out, you know, being in trouble or being singled as like the worst um thing I could imagine are being on the show singled out and so um, she walked in my class like disrupted Mrs Heatherington's lesson. You know, she popped in you know, when the door opens, everyone the class turns is like Someone's at the door, and Miss Heatherington's like, yes, Mrs Bowl and she was like, hey, can I see Nicky Glazer? And I remember just being

like what the fund could this be? I've never been like singled at. She was like, can I see Nicky Glazer? Only Miss bull only grabbed kids that were like come from divorced families and those kids get to like come and go to this special class. She called called me to her office and she was like, is anything going on in your life that you want to talk about? And I was just like no, and she was like are you sure. I was just like no, and I was just freaked out. I felt like I was I

don't know what I did. And she was like, maybe something that happened at Molly's house and I was just like what. This was a year later, like the next school year, and I was just like no, and she was like, maybe you wet the bet And I was just like, how does this woman know? This woman? I mean, at the time, I think she was cold. I thought she was cold calling parents, trying to drudge up business, being like does your kid have any developmental issues that

they that I can maybe talk to them about. But what I now think is that I was just so fucked up and I was obviously something was happening with me that Mrs Heatherington had told Mrs Pole like like, call Nikki's mom and figure out what's going on. And my mom ratted me out and said, Nikki, what the bet at Molly Colliers and is being bullied for it?

And so my mom. I remember never trusting my mom again because she had told Mrs Poel my secret that she wouldn't have known, and it was humiliating and became the issue. It was just awful. So you have to go into class though like you were, you would think you would think about what I remember wedding I was. It was the first time I thought I have to kill me. I don't want to cry. It was like the like to be in fourth grade and think you

want to kill yourself. Um. I did not expect to cry, just out because I just realized, like that was like, that's so sad for like an eight year old, Like I think that they're gonna have Like I just remember being like, I'm gonna have to kill myself one day because if if anyone ever, like if anyone else, if this keeps following me, or like I just actually I just knew that I would have to like that that

it was. I'm so glad more people didn't find out, because I would, like I was that you to, But I just remember, for some reason, I remember the moment I realized I was gonna have to kill myself when I was in fourth grade. I was like I was staring at a blinking VCR for some reason, it was probably like the spot at least staring at a blinking I just remember a blinking twelve o'clock, you know, when

it's like reaset. It was like late at night at my cousin's house, and I was like, I can't believe I have to kill myself, Like I don't I want

to like keep living, but I can't if this. And it was like, um, I think I was like scared it was gonna get out a little bit more or something like there was something that was happening like on Monday, I'm gonna find out if everyone knows or no one knows, And it was like and and then it just became so beautifully ironic that like now I make my living off of saying like the most embarrassing things, like I remember thinking like if anyone finds out, I'll die, I will.

I didn't really know how I was going to do it, but I just remember being like, I don't want to die, but I like have to. And that just made me cry because I just realized how fucking set like if if I have read an eight year old who wanted to kill themselves, Like how awful like for a child to feel that way? Like I don't think until this moment, I realized that that thought had crossed my mind at such a young age, and it just makes me very sad for like my young self. So I'm sorry crying.

Let's get to why do I care? Oh, we're gonna go to break break quick. That's gonna do it? A chair gears Andrew's weekly sports moment. All right, pants you ready? It's peep bad? I didn't pants on? Why that a sleepover? Probably Italian dad there. I probably had a little like, uh, you know, ninety downing. Okay, we have to go, come on, okay.

Becky Hammon, who will be entering the A season as an assistant coach in the NBA, is considered to be one of the top coaching candidates, and she doesn't want an NBA team to check a box and hiring her as a head coach, so she might be up or she is up for a head coaching role, first woman head coach ever in the NBA. Yeah, And she just made a big statement about like, I don't want to be hired because I'm a woman I wanted. I don't want it to be that be the headline for the

rest of my life. I just want to be a person that gets a job because I'm qualified for it, which is so annoying that she even has to make a statement like that. But I mean, I think it's important to make a statement like that. But I I really care about this because I relate to this as like someone who constantly gets a question of being a female in comedy, being a male dominated profession. What's it like to be a woman? There's your next Comedians of lady.

You know, I don't get any more because I'm famous enough that I have a name for myself, But so often you your whole identity as being a woman in stand up and I just never thought of myself as a woman, and I just didn't think I was different than the guys I compared myself to men um so I kind of get that of being like, wait, why

do I so? I'm I'm like held to a less a small like the bar isn't as high for me, and like if I'm even as good as men, people are like, whoa, she's really good, Like I want to be as good as Chappelle, not like whatever. But the thing is, there's not really like any women. Chapelle's all the best of all, the one all the men who are the kings of stand up and the ones that we go are like the legends. Uh. Joan Rivers is the only female stand up that like even gets close

to that. I mean, you could say Ellen, but she's more of a talk show host now and and no one's really like they don't put her up there with Carlin prior Chappelle, Rock Seinfeld. I mean, the list goes on and on. For male stand ups, there's not we will give credit to female stand ups for sure, and there's some that you know, have big names, but not like that. Yeah, I mean I think like she isn't

a sport too. I think there's certain sports, like if a head coach was in the NFL was a woman, it would be uh, even more surprising because most women, you know, don't actually play football, women play basketball, Women understand basketball could demand men man game. The men game be a little different because you know, they dunk more and ship like that. But she has a great understanding of it. And there's plenty of male coaches in the NBA that never played in the NBA that probably did.

You haven't play as much as her. Okay, let me just this is the end of discussion. It's it's just reiterating your point. I used to watch female gymnastics, and I used to think Bella Caroli, What a funk is this old fat Russian man screaming at this little girl about how she didn't land it right? You couldn't walk a straight line if your life depended on it, you old booze bag? How dare you tell a woman how to flip and and and admonish her for not He

couldn't Did he ever flip? Though? That's only as a kid, Like he wasn't a gymnast. That would be my argument is that at one point he was a gym My point is is like at one point she you know, these people never even played football. But I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying. Did this woman play basketball? Yes? Yes, I don't know her like history, but I'm almost a thousand percent she played a ton of basketball. Coaching does not require you to be a man,

but for some reason we we think it does. Yeah. Yeah, when you think coach, I mean unless it's of a female league, you you would never hear coach and think, well, and how are these big men listening to a little girl like that's like good? I would never be able to listen to her. I mean, it's just misogyny and runs so fucking deep, and I know it's not most men um and I don't like and they can't help it. They can't help it. It's just the way she gets the job. And even a woman can be lasting. Let's

get the fan trax fan Trax Mega. Yes, alright, fan Trax, Let's do it. This is uh the listener mail messages voice mail from from our besties? Uh what what? Who are we starting with? Noah? Let's go with Emily. All right, Emily voice memo, Hi, no Jerkie. I'm Emily from Sacramento. I'm a longtime listener and fan of you guys. Um, So, I just finished listening to the podcast called A Kangaroo

Stampede of Emotions. I've been traveling for the last full of weeks, so I wasn't able to listen to the podcast very much, and I'm so glad I tuned back and for this one, I laughed a lot and then I cried and it was really beautiful. Like you, NICKI, I struggle with perfection and feeling like I'm not good enough, so I just appreciate you in the message you shared on the pod. I can't wait to see you guys in San Francisco in December. I promise you could never

disappoint me. Also a quick story I wanted to share. My boyfriend was picking something on his back yesterday and asked me to take a look at it. It was a war and the first thing I said when I saw it was, you know who would love to pick up that nicky glazer? Alright, all the swells guys. Love you guys so much. I I love you so much.

Thank you concise beautiful message. You know you can tell she wrote out the first part and was like reading it, I appreciate the effort that goes into like being like I don't want to just like I don't want to ramble, I might perfection And yeah, it's so sweet that little cuty. I wonder what she wrote it on, like her notes and her phone or like if she wrote it by hand.

That is so nice. Um, thank you for thank you for relating to that perfectionism and um that episode in which I had a lot of emotions and um and and and today you've heard them too. They're they're coming out a little uh like fits. I like I I told you yesterday, I feel like a clenched fist, Like I feel so much anxiety recently, not anxiety, but just like I just am so print up and I think it's just getting Sometimes it just sneaks out and I

can't help it. It's like, uh like P when well, when you're sleeping in third grade or when you're like a yeah, when you're like a you know, an older woman and you like laugh and you pee and you start wearing like diapers. I think maybe it's not a woman thing, but I just know that most of people I talked to our women that like start leaking P when they laugh. I don't know. That's how I feel about crying now, it's just like God, why it's like it's out of nowhere, like it's the sun is shining,

and like you're like, is it raining? And then it's bird ship. Yeah. So thank you. That was a that was a lovely note and it really made me feel great when you said there's no way you could be disappointed me. That like really puts the pressure off. Thank you, Jack, Hey, besties, Jack from Kansas City here. I just listened to the episode that came out today, it's like the fourth of August or something where we got into the little spiraling Reddit post situation UM, and just felt compelled to leave

this voice memo. I just wanted to say that I feel like for every person that has like those thoughts or makes those posts, there's even more people who just find it relatable. Myself included. Sometimes I find myself questioning myself that didn't sound right. Why I relate to this podcast and much being at twenty three year old white straight man. I don't really know why all of that makes a difference, but either way, I find it very

relatable and enjoyable. UM, and I loved what you said a couple I don't know if it was weeks or episodes ago about how this is what you want to do forever, so buckle up for the long haul. I just love that. I'm excited for that. And then I also figured, while I'm here, I would give you probably

my worst mispronunciation of all time. Uh. In college, I got invited to a scholarship banquet and I was reading out the agenda to a group of friends and the first thing on the agenda was at whatever time, um, I said that they were starting with horrors divorce, which was which was just orders. Why is that whores do divorce? You know, because they're just horrors and they can't stop fucking, I can't keep a relationship. Um. So funny. Every time I think of Mors, I just think of those eggs

with the dogs. Yeah, those are white trash. I feel like they could be a white trash order. But they're also in like like really nice functions. Or maybe I'm white trash, and I think that makes function classies. You know, when it's classy. They put a little that red pepper I think, or paprika that might be described things and you get you're like, oh, yes, but that's funnier to say. It's like red, red colored dust or whatever you said. Um,

thank you so much. That is uh. First of all, you should have written it down first before, I mean a little little ram. I'm just kidding. No, I loved it. I don't require anyone. Please do not think that you have to. I like, I like both versions. Whatever works

for you. Jack Um. Thank you so much for relating to the show and for also saying that, UM, yeah, I know, I I guess I don't know, you know, like you read one bad comment and you forget all the good things and um and yeah, and I assume that people I like when my U, the people that I enjoyed enjoy watching our show me their flaws and show me there the worst side of their character, because I think that so much of me growing up and looking at people like that, I would idolize Jennifer Aniston's

and Jennifer love Hewitts and like, you know, just like anyone, all the Jennifers, Jennifer Coolidge, Jennifer um Gray, um, everyone. You know, celebrities didn't have flaws until the past couple of years, Like it just became kind of in to show your flaws and like that's like a really an admirable thing when I grew up, like they all seemed perfect.

There was never anything wrong with any of these people, and so I just I'm just doing I'm showing those sides of myself because I it makes me feel free. And it also I know that, um, someone out there that might put me on a pedestal, it's nice to knock me off it. So you just know that, Like the stars are just like yeah, just like but yeah, I uh, that's why tabloids were so big back in the day. It's like Jennifer Aniston eats a donut, you know. It's like that's why that ship was so big back then,

the worst beach bodies. I fucking loved looking at people's cell like Celebrity Cellulite. Yeah, I would buy a magazine called Celebrity Cellulite back and like I would have bought that, like just to see their flaws. I was so hungry for these people to show me that they were like me, or that I could be them, or you know, it's just so nice when you hear people have flaws, they say, oh, we don't show our flaws or our personal life because you can't then separate that from the when you're watching

a show or whatever. It's like I can know Jennifer Aniston has cellulite and still think she's great in the morning show, like, or I can know that she you know, fucking takes ships on Wednesdays on top of you know, dresser whatever. It is something that it wouldn't like I

couldn't not separate it. We want them to be perfect even though they're playing roles, like we know they're being fake, like they're doing They're not themselves in the role they're playing, so why do we need to think that they're It's it is interesting, but there are sometimes though that you see a celebrity that you have put on a pestle and they are they do have like a human moment, like when Taylor Swift does something that like quote unquote disappoints me where I'm like, oh, I wish she was

cooler about that. It's like I get mad because it's like I want her to be perfect. I want more. I expect more perfectionism from her than I would expect for myself. And it's just even though I love her, because she writes songs about not being perfect and having complex feelings, So I get caught on both sides of it. Still to this day, do we have any Do we have one more to take us into our final though? This one's from Nicole. Yeah, good name, Hey Niki, Andrew

and Noah. For one second, this is the hottest voice I think we ever got. It's not hot, it's like it's it's a smr dude, it's soothing and shit. Wait, let's start it again. Everyone, Just like, get cozy with a cup of tea, mask on, don't hit your head on the back of the fireplace and scream oh now didn't now, um, but yeah, just get cozy next to fireplace, and let's take in Nicole's uh, soothing, soft spoken voice. Hey, Niki, Andrew and Noah. I know that you asked for more

hay babe moment, so here is mine. Um. A couple of years ago, when I was at the hairdresser one time, I had to answer a phone call for some reason, and after I hung up, my hairdresser goes, you know, you would have a great phone sex voice, and I never went to him again. Thank oh my god, Well she'st I am so sorry to I am so we did not though we had no idea. And by the way, I want to I want to say, if you replay the tape, I did not say sexy. I said that

to me. There was nothing sexy about voice. Yeah, yeah, you could make so much money if you did, UM phone sex now SMR you you really could, I mean, girl, look into it. I would. I mean they do it. Yea. It definitely has been done. And some people think SMR sexual and it's not. I guess for some people do is.

But yeah, no, that's a really inappropriate comment for um, you know, your favorite podcast co host or a hairdresser to make about your voice when you're just trying to answer your phone or be a good fan and leave a voice memo. You know, that was so funny, Nicole. I hope you laughed at that. And I love that there's only two people in the world listening to this, Noah and Nicole, who knew how I how ironic it was that we said that about her voice. But Nicole,

I mean that voice is so good. It's so good. How do you walk around with a voice like that? I mean, like I would be putting myself to sleep all the time, like it's beautiful. It's I mean, I really got tingles in the back of my head in a way that I needed that after I cried before, Like I, that just felt so soothing, like a hug from my mom. Um. That not the mom that I have,

because that feels weird. That would feel out of out of character for her to give me a comforting hug because she doesn't love me, but because it's just not in her nature. But um, that felt really good. That felt so Nicky. And hey, hey Nicki, wait, I wanted to even dry to Wait, Hey, hey new drinky, I can't even do it. It's like it's I don't have the capabilities to be that soothing. We have to go,

I have to go catch up. Wait, let's do it again, Hey, Nicki, Andrew and Noah, I know that you asked for more bathe moment. Oh my god, Nicole, Okay, I am horny now you know. I take it. I take it back. I I actually I'm on board. I think, Um, I want to go to your hair styles because he has uh, he's he's got a good year. Yeah, nick let's end it with a SMR. Ready I'll go first, and then you ended. I don't go. You guys, thank you so much for listening to this weekend you have all the swells.

Oh good, Hi guys, thank you for listening. That was me crumbling up a note from one of our besties that I was going to read but I forgot to, so shout out to Will Jones. Um, he said, give me a shout out on the pod. I read your note and thank you so much for sending it to me and writing it on the back of a random piece of paper. And um, I love you and thank you so much. We'll see you on Monday. Have a great weekend. Don't be Cat and shar