The Nicky Glizer Podcast.
Glaser, here's Nikki.
Hello, here, I am welcome to the show. It's the Nicky Glazer Podcast. Coming in Hot, not strong, Hot, a little too loud. I was listening to a podcast today and I really didn't appreciate when the levels were like all over the place, and like I had to turn my volume down so much.
I'm like, stop screaming.
They made a law that says, well, I don't know if it's like federal or statewide, but they made a law that says, you can't have commercials be suddenly louder than whatever was broadcasting. Oh, because it really is jarring and home it is.
And guess what that turns people off of your products.
That's right.
We actually have a mixer, Chris. He mixes our podcast. Thanks Chris, So that's all the levels are even.
Thank you, Chris. That's so nice, because yeah, I was just like whoa and kind to keep turning it down.
Then.
I think I was just sometimes you're just like too tired to have sounds yes in your ears.
I think that's what's going on.
Oh my god, I don't even want to think about it. I just heard today my friend his daughter is like so young, Like I'm not even gonna I just don't want to specify, but like under six and gets migraines and I've never heard of anything sadder and she screams cries like she has. He's like the doctor was like because the kids can't describe pain, and so the doctor's like, what's what? Like what how does she sound? He's like like she's on fire. It's like, oh no, I've never
heard of anything worse in my life. And I've I don't know, for some reason, because I've experienced migraines, I can relate to that pain. I can't really relate to other pains. And maybe that makes me a bad person that I can't empathize if I haven't experienced it. But I can't. I can't obviously. Oh at that one, he hits me so hard because I know I have a quick update from last episode. Do you say that your dad used to play with you? He was like a good playful dad that Actually.
I'm reading a book about relationships after a baby, so he talks about because I need help if he talks about how you know dads are with kids or whatever, and the more a playful a dad is with their child. The more empathetic the child becomes as they grow up. So you are dad, Yeah, it's the dad that affects how empathetic we are as a.
Dad struggles with empathy as well. What if you gotten?
What if maybe you also connect the fact that you don't have empathy or didn't at first to your dad.
Well, if he was playful, if he played with you and spend time with you, then you are.
Like my dad to get.
If you had no empathy but he was playful.
He's a psychopath. All you do is torture age with you. Yeah, that's interesting. That's good to know because I'm I. I feel like sometimes I have too much of it. And then sometimes I don't feel like I have enough, Like sometimes like when Anya played her music video and everyone was crying and I was just like, doesn't it's not it's not hit me. I felt like there's a coldness to my soul. And then and then there are other times where I'm a vegan and I don't understand why
other people aren't. And then I'm like, what's wrong with everyone else?
For animals?
Yeah, but why? And I've talked about this before. Because humans can articulate except this little fight. This little girl can't articulate her pain. So that's what made me go, like, no, but I don't. I've heard about babies being sick and kids being sick. Obviously, I've seen the Saint Jude commercials, and like, unless I hear about the kid being in pain, I doesn't. But this like really bothered me, and I couldn't stop thinking about it, and I just felt so bad.
The Saint jud needs to be like this child has cancer and doesn't even know, or it just needs.
To show the kid in I mean, I don't want to see that, but like I need It's it's more than just a kid that's like has no hair in a bed, like meeting Bruno Mars.
I need like more to get you know what I mean.
Like usually when you see kids, they're like like, I'm like, oh, that kid's surrounded by love.
Like that sucks what that.
Kid's going through.
There's no question about it's so fucking sad.
But right why but yes, and no, I'm being we're obviously being joking right now, but I'm just saying like it just for some reason, this just wouldn't. I just couldn't imagine like a child having a thing that just usually women are supposed to get when their doctors are ignoring the fact that they put a IUD in their body and they're complaining now about their headache. And usually doctors like are ignore women in their thirties, not when they're underten.
And I think that's a thing that happens. But I'm just I.
Heard that's true from about people with autism, Like they don't know that they're suffering. They just think that they're like collicky or whatever, and then all of a sudden they learn they have autism and they're highly sensitive and there's all these problems, and it's just for years and years, you're just like suffering without anybody helping you.
That's why I can't stand when dogs have itches that they can't get to literally seen people and their dog is like scratching and going crazy and the person just like keeps talking about whatever, like oh, you know, we got to get whatever, like I have to go to yoga late. They will be like talking to me about whatever's going on their life, and I'm like, your dog is itching itself, Like how do you not get its itches?
Like I can't be around an itchy dog.
I go fucking nuts because I have to itch all their itches, yeah, for them, but their dog's itch.
If a dog's itchy twenty four to seven for ten years, you can't just constantly be itching it. Eventually you have to be like, well, you have sensitive skin, you can't go in grass. You're gonna be itching no matter what you do.
I'd get rid of it. I literally put the dog down. I mean I wouldn't. That's what like, that's Pete's argument of like, you'd rather have a dog dead than a suffering dog. But I mean sometimes I would rather be dead than itch my entire life. And I'm not saying do that, but I mean they would be miserable. I can't even look at horses or cows when we drive by them on the road because I see the flies buzzing around. I'm like, there is a fly in its eye and it can't do anything with its hoof to
get it out, Like I can't handle it. If you see that goat that's like but burning off bugs that ticks that are on its chin by holding it's it's yeah, it's it's holding its chin. This goat. There's a video that, like I see all the time pop up on Reddit and reels and stuff of a goat that's burning off. There's a flame and it's putting its chin over the flame to burn the bugs off, but not burning itself, and it's so cool and so fucking sad.
Damn. Yeah, but you can do that as a human too. If you have a tick on you, you can light a lighter and it'll that's how you get it off. You don't pull a tick off because then it's little fangs will stick into your skin and stay there forever, and you'll get lime disease. If you want a tick to come off of you, you gotta put a fire. Wait is that is that a tick? Or is that leeches hot?
And you know, but vazanline, if you put vasleine over it'll suffocate and he'll have to come up for air because.
They breathe through their skin. You like, give a tick a massage with some vacine.
If you give a tick like shell jump off.
I mean, ticks are so disgusting and that's another reason not to go out in nature. I was a lot of mental pain this weekend, like just the worst I've been in since maybe January. But I like was in mental anguish and I was really wanting to feel the pain physically, to like get it out of my system. And I'm saying, and I've never I've only done that one time in my life where I or maybe a couple times where I've like done something to myself to
get the pain out. Maybe people can relate at home, but I can't do that now because.
You know, you just can't hurt yourself.
That's crazy, and so instead you just like suffer with it inside. But then Ari this weekend, Ari Findling had these like they're called tens pads that like are electro pads. That's what I use for labor.
Oh my god, I checked those up to I almost broke.
He was like he started, he only goes to a thirty nine and I was at it seventy nine, going, can we get it higher? I just like it felt so good because it doesn't leave a mark. It like makes you have pain that like, I honestly I don't want to like recommend it to people who need an alternative to whatever they're pulling out their hair and they're cutting themselves or whatever, but like it didn't leave a mark.
It let me get some pain, like exiting my body of like this, Like it just distracted me from what was going on in my head. And I don't think I need to get one of those, even though I want it so bad, because I would be I want it so bad. Uh lee Hey when people say so bad. That's one of my biggest pumpets about myself is not putting in Lee at the end of bad.
Yeah. Well, the electrodes also like give you endorphin boosts, and you're like they at least somewhat study it too. You put the electrodes on your ear lobes and you go alternating ear lobe one after the other. It actually simulates what an antidepressant would do for a short time.
Oh, it's almost like the E E M D R where it's like you're.
Getting you're doing like I stuff, and so it's making your brain do different parts of your brain.
Yeah. I have no idea what that is, but that sounds right. All this stuff sounds simultaneously like absolute horseshit and also right.
Yeah, it sounds like that could work. I've got a guy at my own show.
I'm desperate.
Oh my god, I'm so desperate.
So many people wrote to me last week about different things to jumpstart.
My people are jumping in ice inability every morning just to stop freaking out about their own and.
They say it never gets easier, like it's always feels And by the way, no, that's what I do. That's why I do pilates it like is it so sucks and it never gets easier, And I mean it gets a little like you can get through the class and you don't have to give up on stuff, but it's still at multiple points during a class, I want to die. And it just makes me have endorphins because I've put
myself through pain. But a guy on Friday night, Sorry I forgot your name already, but you were so sweet, and he's written to me before about my depression and about what's worked for him, and he's done this thing called neurofeedback, and my friend actually bought a machine that was ten thousand dollars. And then I also saw on the Netflix Quarterback Show that Kirk Cousin a lot of athletes neurofeedback to like memorize plays and like just make
them their brains more agile, to focus their attention. I guess on certain things and on not on other things. And this guy said I should try neurofeedback. I don't have any time in my schedule to meet with a new doctor and like develop a plan of action.
That's the problem, Like, I don't my.
Schedule this week is so fucking and like until the Golden Globes, I don't.
I don't even know.
I don't know what what to do. I don't have any time to Like if I get on. People are like, you need to get on new meds. I'm like, I don't have time. I don't have time.
To wait two weeks to see if new meds work.
And then if they don't work, what if they like make me gain a bunch of weight and get acne or like have some or go.
You could be really agitated all the time, and then that's not gonna be good for the globes.
I can't.
I can't like mess.
I just have to be low grade depressed and just get through it and then come up with a plan afterwards, which is what most people live their lives. And by the way, how how I've lived my life most of my life, Like, hey, you just.
Got to kind of be low key depressed twenty four to seven for the rest of your life. Yeah, if you could be low key depressed. I mean, good for you who succeed just low key, I mean that's amazing.
Yes, But I'm talking about like, there are people that just don't have depression, and I know they've got other stuff going on in their lives.
I don't understand what could be.
Their dads didn't play with them at all.
Well, if they're okay, if they're not having depression, but they have Let's say they have chronic pain, that to me would cause depression. Like, I don't know how someone has chronic pain and then not depression from it. Or let's say they have a shitty Okay, maybe they don't have depression, but Nikki, their life is bad because they their parents don't love them and yours do. Like I'm comparing my life to people like, I'm like, I have depression.
Why don't you anything that they also deal with? I'm like, but that would give me depression. So I don't know. I don't know how like things that trigger a depression don't people don't have that response. But then last week I was voting thank you very much, and I was
in line, and I was online. If you're on the East Coast, I was waiting online and which is not a word I'd ever heard used until I was in my twenties for describing waiting online, Like when you're in line at a grocery store, you're waiting online.
Never waiting online.
Line at the supermarket, which is what Noah calls a grocery store. Also East Coast. I'm guessing do you call it a supermarket?
I call it the grocery store. Yes.
Kirsten did a poll the other day on Girls Chat and was like, what do you guys call a place where you go to get food? And everyone was like, grocery store, the store, grocery store, the store. Everyone said it, and then we were waiting. Why was she asking me this? She was like, I heard someone say something else. And then it was revealed that Noah and Kirson had been chatting on the side and Noah had said and then I have to go to the supermarket.
And it's the cutest thing I've ever heard.
Supermarket's like a toy it for a kid to learn how to shop at the grocery.
What it says on a toy.
Yeah, I think it's like an immigrant thing. To be honest, I don't even think it's a East Coast thing. I think it's what it says on.
Like buildings. Yeah, like it's a it will say Supermarke.
There was a there's a there's a few places that are called supermarkets. I think like shop right is a supermarket. It says supermarket in the logo, right, Whereas like I've King Colin, which is a Long Island chain, says grocery store on the building right.
Yeah, And I can't say the store when I'm in LA because it means the community.
The comedy club.
Yeah, kid, we get it. You do comedy, you're past the store. One time I was like, told Chris I was going to the store, and he thought the store and I was like, no, the comedies, and he was like he almost kid me.
But I deserved it kind of because I'm like, I'm.
Just such a regular.
That's what I call it.
When I say, you know, I'm gonna go do comedy at the store, it means at.
The group means open mic in the frozen food section. So I was online voting in Missouri.
And on Missouri, on Missouri.
And uh I was.
And then this this there was someone within I guess fifty feet of the building spouting off some bullshit about Amendment three, meaning that can I.
Just like quickly just say what bullshit this is?
Because Amendment three is about an abortion being you know, being able to get an abortion in Missouri and voting yes on it means that you're looking for that. Yeah, it's an amendment. They are saying, there's all these signs that say Amendment three will cause child trafficking, you support child trafficking if you vote three, and we've been like everyone that's voting yes with three is like, how would being all legalizing abortion in the same Missouri cause child trafficking?
And do you want to know what these fucking freaks have done to make that argument? So they are so and it's almost like it's almost evil genius in which they figure this out. So they think a fetus is a person. Right, So when you cross state lines to get an abortion in Missouri, if you go to Missouri now because we can legalize it, and you come from another state to get an abortion, you are smuggling a child across state lines.
Aka child trafficking.
Now, do you think people reading a sign that says support child trafficking by voting yes are gonna think that is what child trafficking means they're just gonna think, oh, somewhere in this we the liberals want to traffic children.
I mean, even if you don't have an abortion and you're just a pregnant woman, if you travel across state lines, you are smuggling a baby.
Yeah, but they're not going to get into that detail. But that's the So this woman was in line.
There's so many women out there smuggling babies and they're uteruses.
I mean, there's a normal looking woman. She was not a crazy person. She wasn't, you know, wearing a bunch of American flag bullshit. Like she just looked normal and she was a normal person. I'm she just is trying to protect what she believes.
Are well accent, right.
She I blacked out because I couldn't keep my mouth shut. So she was, you know, fifty feet from the building, which is I guess where they can harass people in line to vote to vote the way they want. And she's handing out these flyers that she made like rack.
Yes, So she was wow. Cool she was doing that.
And I heard her say to the guys in front of me, and if you vote, if you vote no an Amendment three, that means you are against child trafficking, and you're against sex changes in schools. They're going to give your child sex changes in schools. And I go, there's hundreds of people in mind, I'm not joking you
hundreds And I go, no, they're not. No, they're like it's dead, stilely, like no one's talking, and just this woman quietly telling these men because she's like she has to be quiet because she's gonna get in trouble of you know, like it's not.
What she's doing is bullshit. So I go, no, it's not.
I go, no, it's not, and she goes and she's ignoring me because I'm sure she's dealt with like maybe one other person that's done this to her because no one was saying anything.
The problem with them, That's the problem with America, that's the problem with the world. Is everyone is so fucking loud on the internet and in real life everyone's a little baby.
Well I did, and for you.
Then I am flooded with like adrenaline that I'm shaking and like I feel shick, like I'm gonna throw up because I've just like had a public confrontation. And I go, no, they're not. I go they're not going to give you think, I go, you think that they are going to have a surgery in public schools? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? And I kind of said in that tone like I was just like this right away and read it.
Read it, read read what.
The amendment says, and I go, I will, I will, And I grabbed it and I couldn't read it because I was shaking so much because I was so worked up, and.
So and ba, You're like, I can't read.
Because I went to public school. They couldn't even teach me to read. You think they're gonna be gonna be surgery to affirm whatever gender?
I think, I am bullshit, They're not gonna do anything. And so I was like I will.
And then I'm just like shaking, and I'm like I have to leave because I've just there's a line behind me, there's a line in front of me, and I have to wait. There's an hour wait, So I have to wait in front of all these people who are voting not the way I am.
I it's very clear no one's on my side and.
Which is yes.
And so I am like shaking. I'm alone.
I'm like I look I look like I'm not dressed cute, Like I don't look like someone you'd be like, I want to vote like that woman, you know, like I'm dressed like a scrub and Missouri don't want no scrubs, and so they So I'm sitting and then there's thank god, there's a woman behind me who just goes, they're not gonna give surgeries in schools. She like kind of just set it in my ear. And she was like, she goes, they don't even let your kid have aspirin or tile and all for a headache.
You think they're gonna get surgery.
And I go exactly, and I was like, oh my god.
She was let me see that paper. I need to read that paper.
And then she grabbed the paper and she is with her husband, who's almost you can tell like maybe a little bit embarrassed that she's talking to the crazy girl, you know, But she didn't know who I am. She was just a woman on my side of things who was being supportive just to me privately, and like didn't want to make a scene because she could chell.
She's like a just a person.
That just wants to logic head.
Yeah, She's not like someone who was scared to speak up. She just was a smart person but wasn't going to cause a scene, but she wanted to let me know, like, hey, I'm on your side. And thank god, if there was one person in between us, if it would have been her husband and then her like, she wouldn't have gotten to me. But she was next to me, and then
we talked for the whole hour. She's a therapist, of course, she's a really intelligent woman, and we were talking about all different types of therapy, but she recommended this type of therapy that is so not to me. But she was like talking about that she does this type of because I was like, what time the therapy do you do? And I was talking about the kind I do and like, and she did not know who I was at all, and she recommended or she she she does this kind
of thera but she didn't recommend it. But we were just talking about different and it's called ACT ACT. So that's what I'm going to look into next because it seemed like it takes a lot of emotionally focused and then also c BT cognitive behavioral therapy and.
Not to be oh my god, is this true. That is such a good question. To ask yourself.
I always go, yeah, it is I am ugly, I am untalented, I am like And then people go, well, what proof do you have? And I go, uh, okay, like check out this, look at that. This is a talent, Like I have all the proof. I will like line up why I'm ugly. I can like Noah's been on girls. I do like diagrams, like I am theme of always Sonny.
When you persue, say, if you can convince people of your pathology, and that's the biggest problem, Well.
I can convince myself. It's not. There's just that doesn't help me. That like list of Okay, if it were true, well then what would be true if it wasn't true, what would be true? Like that doesn't help me because it's so true. But what does help me. What she was talking about is divorcing yourself from your thoughts, which is very meditation. Like your thoughts even if they are true,
like you can ignore them or whatever. I don't know if that's exactly it, but I looked into it a little bit and was listening to some youtubes about it, and it's very I didn't understand it. It's which makes me very intrigued. I like when there's like a type of therapy that's so complex in just describing what it is before you even get into it that I'm like, Okay, I'm kind of interested, so I'm going to try it in different modalities. Okay, we're gonna take a break. Can
come back after this. Brian, Did you vote yet?
Yeah? I'm surprised you have to wait for an hour to vote because in California you're just drop it off at a ballot box and it's over. Like you just fill it out at home and then you drop it off in a box whenever you want. For like two and a half weeks before election, I.
Did get that sent to my parents house because that's where my I'm registered, is my parents' house. But I just never they didn't give it to me or something, so I just went.
But it was it was.
I went on Thursday. Wait what day is it? I don't know anymore, but I went Thursday.
Was Halloween?
Oh yeah, I went on Halloween. Did yet dressed?
Alloween?
I was trussed like a liberal snowflake.
According to everyone in line, probably, but there was a guy in front of me, like I was. I was voting in a very rich part of Saint Louis like suburbs. Everyone drives a white Lexus or range Rover. Everyone just is wearing boat shoes in the fall. And this guy
was wearing a shirt. I put it on Girls Check because I filmed it because it was just I was just like, oh god, the boat shoes with American flags on them, Like, this is not a person that's like in backwoods, like anyone that was like wearing American flags?
What are you doing? It's unless it's fourth of July.
What are you doing? We get it. But he had a shirt on that said the shrimp pimp like a rich father.
I don't know.
He was not awesome. He was definitely voting no on Amendment three because that guy hasn't paid for an abortion before behind his wife's back.
He sounds like a shrimp across straight state lines.
Then yeah, I'm like, you're wearing a shirt this is pimp on it, and you're like, and you're rolling your eyes at me saying no, they're not.
They're not going to perform surgery on child.
Who's believing that? You don't know what you're talking about. Later you're all your fucking mind. What I was wearing of my shrimp.
I wasn't dressed like I was dressed like a little bit scrubby, but I wasn't dressed like I wasn't wearing a shirt that said something foul on it like that. But anyway, Yeah, I waited the line for like an an hour, and then I almost bored a hole in my ballot with how hard I've wrote in that.
I like wanted there to be no mistake.
And then I think, I really think, so there's gonna be a dangling chat on that one before sure, and then you look up all the amendments and and you try to figure out like what like and then judges, I'm like, I don't wait, I wasn't prepared for this. But it's you're supposed to vote what's it called, like down the box or like down the ballot? Uh?
Down?
They canes, yeah, like down the line or something down the line. And so I was like googling, like, if you're a Democrat in Missouri, tell me what to do, and there was like there's something going on with Google, because that should be the first thing that comes up, is like I literally wrote how to vote Democrat in Missouri, like and there's in the past there's been like here's how to do it. Yeah, and it was not fucking
clear at all. I had to dig so much in a way that I'm like, my mom would never be able to figure this.
Out because now Google, it just gives you an aid AI and.
That's are infiltrated by AI and it's been coming useless service. That's why people have to use Reddit to find information. Now it's useless. It's actually good for society because people might start talking to each other, which is nice, and you might be relying on your local like Democratic Club instead of Googling it, which can be influenced by advertising money and Russian Alla garks.
Right, Okay, do you know that we only see like point zero zero zers year one percent of websites when we do a search?
Yeah? My god. Now I love Google because when you search for any type of Apple Apple rankings dot com, it is number one every single time, the best news.
So when you're when you're voting at your local I'll.
Put my Democratic uh endorsements on Apple rankings dot com.
That would be helpful. Yes, state by state to state which judges to keep in.
Your districts because I really didn't know.
Judges are tough.
It's tough, and then you skip some stuff and then you go, wait, is my thing going to be invalid? Like a scan tront Like it's like scan try, it's like taking the essayts's. The room is like dead quiet. It feels like you're being timed. It's it's a very intense process. And then you feel so good after you've
done it, like it feels so good to vote. I'm sure it feels good on both sides, like you're just like because you know, you just feel like, oh, I did something, and because it takes so fucking long and it really messes with your day, which someone Mike Lawrence made a great point last week when we were on
the NFL thing. I asked him to repeat it because I had read it on I was almost going to quote him to himself because we were talking about voting, and he said that, you know when Trump went to McDonald's or whatever, and he's asking all these employees, like, are you gonna vote for me? And they're like yes. Mike's like no, they're not. How are they gonna get off work for two hours on a Tuesday or on any day even on their day off, they probably have
to like take it like there's no chores. I just don't know how people are getting and then talking about voting tomorrow. We're recording this on a Monday, on the actual day. I don't know how along those lines are going to be.
It's it's going to be brilliant. Glad I got it in before because I can't wait.
Why are people waiting until Tuesday anyway? Like if you're going to vote, I.
Was going to wait. Why because I was just like, that's the day you vote, Like, I've never even heard of this early vote. Early voting is like a new thing.
I think they did it in the last election for COVID. That's when it really blew up. Yeah, but it was It already existed in like thirty three states prior to COVID. Right, it's like the easiest thing in the world to get like two or three weeks to look at your ballot, fill it out, and bring it to the library or wherever the I thought.
It was like for elderly people, Well, yeah, I was like absentee sick people, Like.
Absent is different than early voting. Absentee is is Yeah.
No, this was called absentee when I when I went to go vote. There were signs in and you don't have to why you're going to be absent on Tuesday.
That's the thing.
It's called absentee, but you don't. You used to like if you did absentee.
Get in there. They're slowly getting away from absentee and having actually an early voting period in Missouri must not beau advanced as us in the liberal coastal elite states.
So anyway, it felt really good to vote. It feels good to do, like.
Going to the DMV. It's like how you're going to feel once you get your real ID.
Oh man, I can't wait to me and I can wait to do.
That's all I can do is you're going to wait until the day.
I went to aristour last night in Indianapolis, and I just want to give a shout out to one of our most like tried and true besties, Renee, and I think her friend, maybe her boyfriend, I don't know what, but they found me miraculously because she did not know where I was sitting. She did not.
I feel like we've talked on Instagram. I Renee.
When we met, I asked, you had we met? But I met, like, did you have we like talked on DM and you said no because I rewatched the video that you posted of us meeting, and so I was meaning, like, are you the Renee that's in my dms? Because sometimes I don't remember besties will DM me and I will have like years long conversations with besties in my DA like actual like acquaintance chips, and she is one of those.
But I didn't realize you were.
Renee from instagrams, even though it's like crazy that you wouldn't be because you were so obviously like plugged in. I'm like, there's no way this girl has not DMed me before.
She is. So you gonna meet somebody. If you're gonna meet Nikki and you've been talking to her on Instagram, you need to carry a picture of your profile picture on Instagram with you, and.
It needs to be very tiny and blurry. And that's only because I've never actually gone to the real thing to look, because why would you, which is it's like a little bit more clear, but your account's usually private, and but yeah, you need to identify yourself by the name, your full name you go by on Instagram, and then I will know. And even then it's kind of blurry because like, I don't know, I don't like like it's your your Yeah, you need to print up how your
Instagram name looks plus the little circle. Anyway, Renee was so sweet. She has listened to I'm guess every single show. And she made friendship bracelets for me and my mom and girls chat and one that said don't be one that said just kidding for my mom, one that said pop like she made I think poppy one. Maybe that was someone else, but she had these bracelets made and the off chance that she runs into me and she I hear just heard. My mom had gone to go
get drinks in between Gracie Abrams and Taylor. There was like some downtime and my mom went off to get some water and I was just alone and I was kind of struggling because I had had a confrontation again.
I realized that, like I'm not, I should not have public confrontations because it makes me crazy and it makes me really embarrassed, and it makes me like feel like I need to flee, Like I would have left have that woman not been in line with me at voting, because I felt so embarrassed that I kind of like
and I'm sure people with anger issues have this. Noah, I think in the past, when you've had anger, when you would have an explosion, you've had this immense embarrassment after words and mine, I still stand by what I did, but it bothers me that I didn't have all the facts to refute this yes on seven or yes on three? Like I was just like, I just know they're not giving kids surgery and I'm trying to like remember a Kimmel clip by saw you know what I.
Mean, Like, did you say that she's dumb and crazy?
No? I definitely I did not attack her character at all. Oh, you know what I did said? I said, I'm sick of the lies. And she said I'm sick of the lies. On both sides agree. Oh great, I'm sure.
And politician could win any election if they just go I'm sick of the lies over and over again. Because everyone agrees on that. I'm sick of the lies. Everyone's crazy, that's all true for everybody.
Yeah, that was that was that. We did agree on that, and I liked that she defused. She must have gone to like a like diffuse liberal anger workshop because she goes that's happening on both sides, and I'm like, oh, all right, well, at least you're admitting a little fault here. I can't argue that. So anyway, had the same reaction at Eras because I really am. I'll get back to Renee, because I don't you even think I forgot about you, Renee and your adorable either boyfriend or best friend.
So or No, it wasn't giving brother, it was giving.
It was giving like best friend energy and my mom and I couldn't place it because my mom said boyfriend. I go, I don't know if I was her boyfriend. He was just dressed too well to.
Be okay, okay to a girl.
But if it was, I if he was your boyfriend and is a straight man, look and get it, girl, like well dressed man. And there's that's not me being like wow, what a guy that's like secretly gay or something like he's just giving that energy to me. But I I've been attracted to many men and been in relationships with many men that have been giving gay before, So that is not an indictment and that is not a judgment at all. But that's just my guest, Renee. You can let me know in the DMS. But anyway,
he was, Oh, he was so fucking cute. I would I would. Okay, So I met the concert before I meet Renee for Gracie Abrams. I'm losing my mind because she's so fucking amazing and I'm singing and I'm like, and I'm tier.
I'm my mom.
And I were walking to Eras from the hotel. So just a real quick recap of my weekend. Uh Friday night, I'm in Oklahoma City. I have a meet and greet. I think all last week I was doing something too, just NonStop right Friday, Oklahoma City, Saturday, Tulsa. Both great shows. Both like Oklahoma City, a little rowdy, but like that's fine. Got a little like some hecklers, some like drunkenness, but like great show overall. Tulsa made up for any kind of weirdness I felt in Oklahoma City.
Amazing shows. Thank you so much to everyone who came.
Tulsa was like the one city that I didn't sell out and it didn't matter. It was fucking great. I don't need to sell out. I don't give a shit. I like, I mean, it was probably like a it wasn't that big. It's Tulsa, you know, so it's probably like fifteen hundred, maybe maybe seventeen, but I probably sold seventy five percent of the room.
I'm happy with that.
I don't really don't even care about like that, but I will just say there was a vibe of like, oh, it's not as good as your other like not selling as well, so maybe it won't be as good. It didn't matter. Tulsa came the fuck out and they brought so much energy. It felt like I it was like standing room only it was so crazy.
Based on watching Oklahoma City thunder games, I have to say it feels like people in Oklahoma are good crowds.
I'm obsessed with Oklahoma City and Tulsa.
They are the nicest people.
The Tulsa is called the Big Friendly, which me and Sean O'Connor determined sounds like a nickname you'd give your the guy in high school who has a developmental disorder to.
Use lots of fucks.
It's like, not the greatest nickname, but everyone what it is though, because it was everyone was so nice there. The town is so cool. I made the joke of like, you know, your town is so cool. I can't wait for people to hear about it like the it looked when you drive around Oklahoma City, it feels like it's COVID, Like it's like March twenty twenty, like that's the streets have no names like amazing, but it's like it's a
bustling city. There's there's it should be hustling and bustling, but there's a lack of bustle.
But there is hustle.
You can tell. Anyway. I just love I love the city. I loved to look at it.
I loved the layout and then Tulsa didn't get.
A chance to discover as much, but I there was some old buildings and cool stuff downtown that I really liked.
Anyway, Indy is also a great city.
Flew there.
Indianapolis, Yeah, love it. Cole Lucas Oil Stadium. That's where Taylor was playing.
I thought of you, Brian, Yeah, hey, that's a great thing. You don't like India Indiana, Indianapolis. I love Indiana. I lived in Indiana. I love Bloomington, Indiana, or call it where I went to college. Indianapolis is not even top thirty cities.
I thought that. I thought it was a really cool downtown, like the roundabout area with the it is cool statue in the middle, and then like cool buildings and like there was a lot of live music going on. And Indy did a really cool thing called Swift City where they like renamed city streets swift songs. Like they I
gotta say they tried more than any other city. And like when you flew into Indianapolis there was a giant, giant like sign with her in it, like in the atrium area, like like the size of a you know, a five story building giant with you. They like really tried.
Indianapolis is great at putting on an event. That's why they always host like the Combine. They're very good at the Final Four when when there isn't an event there, it is naptown because everything except for this one little section where it's just too much. It's just a bunch of drunk like bikers and stuff that are near like the Pacers field House, and it's just like that was.
Where I was.
I was staying at a really cute hotel that was very excited to have me as a guest, and they thought it would be you. And this morning, what did the girls say to me? Oh my god, it was
the cutest thing. I was going to walk the dog for like literally three minutes, and she was like, have the best day at the front desk, and I was like, I am where I will be back if you think of going down into society for the day dressed like this at seven in the morning to let my dog shit and have diarrhea all over the sidewalk because she's stressed out by all the travel too. You're mistaken.
But then on the way out, what did she say? She was like.
She had some nickname for me. They were the nicest hotel at Indy. Hotel Indy, shout out to them. Great hotel.
There was great people in India. I don't want to have.
Oh my god, the valets were nice. Everyone was so nice. Yeah, Lucas Oil, you need to work on your sir, on your what on your stadium? Okay, we need to work on getting people.
Oh my god, best Indianapolis. Well, I mean it was wrong.
The acoustics were amazing. The events space itself was amazing. I'm talking about like getting in. We had floor seats and we had to walk around. I would say I went in the wrong gate and your ticket goes and there it almost seems like you have a bad ticket. And they're like, actually the floor entrance is around the other side. We had to walk like another I would
guess three quarters of a mile. Then we get in and we have to do this zigzag thing where there's no line, like you know, you have a zigzag thing usually when there's a big line and they're trying to like it, but there's We walked to zigzag I'm not kidding you, Noah, for like a half a mile zigzag when there we could have walked a block and it's just right there. So we did four that their fitness Oh oh, it's it seemed like I feel like cattle. But I love the people of Indianapolis who are going
to that show the night. Because my mom and I were the only ones bitching about it, we were like, what is this? Every turn? We I mean these Eventually a girl goes, do you want a key chain? Like she'd wanted to give us another swifty in line was like so tired of hearing my mom and I go.
Why is this even happening?
No one's there, Like my mom and I are just like complainers. And so anyway, so my mom and I are walking to So I flew from Tulsa, had a flight at seven in the morning. Got woken up at four in the morning by tornado warning on my phone, which I thought was my alarm, so I just thought I picked a bad alarm sound.
I was like, Jesus Christ, this one is jarring.
So I get up and I'm like, I gotta walk the dog before we get catch our uber. At five thirty, it's I don't realize it's four, right, and I'm I send my alarm for five. So it's four. I'm up and I'm like playing with the dog a little bit, billying, like we got to go outside, you know, And then and then we try to go outside, and then I go to my get my phone, and it's like, take shelter now. So then I tex Sean and Ari, who have obviously gotten this alarm too, and I go, should we shelter?
And they were like, I guess, And.
Ari was actually still a sleepy slept through all of it, and Sean was like, I guess, and I go, I don't think we have to, We'll be fine, and so we just like I hung out of my room for a half hour. Yeah, in the hotel room.
Hotels are some of the safest places to be during a natural disaster. They're built for, Like when reporters go to like a place where a hurricane is out here, they stay at the hotels because they're built to withstand those types of the buildings.
Felt it felt safe, and it felt like I'm ready to die in Tulsa, Like I don't even want to catch these flights today. I don't care, Like I don't even know what to do. Like I want my dog to live, so I'll like shield her with my body, but I don't. I just was so tired that I was just like I can't serve. I don't want to survive this. I don't care. You've ever been so tired
you like don't take safety precautions. I think that's how people die a lot is because they're too tired to buckle those seatbelts or just simple safety things, because it's just like lack of sleep.
It's kind of also, it's just like a certain point you're like, again, I got to buckle my seatbelt, when is this kind of stop?
Yeah?
And it's never.
Stop.
Yeah, when you go flying out the windshield. It's what a dumb way to die. Please buckle your seatbelts, wear helmets. Oh my god, and take while here. These are the most embarrassing ways to die. Flying out of your car because you're not wearing seatbelt because everyone would go she wasn't wearing a set and you're like what that? You know? Another way is like if you aren't wearing a helmet
on a bike. I think that's another embarrassing way to die, but at least you looked cool when you're flying off into the you know, pavement. And then another way is leaving in a tampon and getting toxic shock. I think that would probably be the most embarrassing one.
That's pretty embarrassing, right, Well, what about a vending machine falling on you because you tried to reach in? That happens a few times a year, what really? Or what about falling off a cliff at a national park because you're trying to take a.
Self God, that's the world like selfie? Oh my god, I heard last week I'm so sorry l Ipe to the woman who was a photographer taking pictures of people getting off a plane and she was just focused on what she was looking at and filming and she backed into a propeller.
Hello rip, awful way to go. Not embarrassing.
I'm just like so sad because we've all done it, Like haven't we all looked at our phone and kind of not been paying attention and you're filming something and you like almost get caught in the video. You're like, I'm watching this, I'm not living this in and you just step somewhere you shouldn't you almost get hit by carl Like honestly, okay, so real quick, we no, I take off in the morning, like I go out to
walk the dog. She it's it's there's just been almost a tornado, right, it's passed by, but it's like pouring rain. Pouring rain has been a constant in my life for like three days now. We take off, we we get out of town, We get out of seven in the morning. Then I have a layover in Charlotte for three hours, three and a half hours.
And I can't set the dog.
I love it.
I love the rocking chairs, but I can't have the dog not pee for that long. I mean she's been from seven am until we land at three thirty and like, which is really gonna be two thirty a time.
I can't have that.
They do, but she wants nothing to do with it because she panics and freezes because it smells like big dogs that have been so she's just like she gets in there search like shaking. So then I'm like, okay, I'll take her outside at the Charlotte Airport because I have enough time to go back to security. Well, then I don't have a board. They won't give me another boarding pass. So it's a whole thing that I have to go back through ticketing, and it's like takes so long.
It's been like the longest day. I finally land in Indianapolis at two thirty.
We gotta be at the concert. We have to leave for the concert at six.
I walk around town a little bit and but I'm like I'm feeling okay. I like put enough coffee in my system, and I'm like I'm good. And then we're walking to the show and I'm like, I don't know how I'm gonna be able to do this, Like I like a tailor's show is like you're on your feet from eight until eleven without question. And then also adding on Gracie, who is a new addition for me to like see the opener now is adding an extra hour and a half to the show.
And my mom and I are seeing these.
People with sign like so many people with signs that are offering insane amounts of money for tickets. One sign says three thousand dollars for two tickets, and I have two tickets, and my mom and I are both like, we could just do that, And I'm like, I don't really need that money. I don't want to do it for the money, but I.
Kind of like, I just he's trying to buy.
Yeah, they just and they all look so sad.
It's like they look homeless, you know, like they're trying to look as sad as possible.
That's also a tactic that sometimes people who are selling tickets will use scalpers because they're legally not allowed to say I want to buy tickets, So they'll say, is anyone selling tickets? And then you go up to them, knowing that you're there to buy a ticket. No, not saying that's what's happening there, but it'd be confusing to me.
Fuir stand.
But Okay, we got to go to break. I'll finish this when we get my.
So my mom and I are walking in and were like should we do it? And I go, Mom, I did not take two flights and leave at five thirty in the morning and waste an entire day of my life that you know, when I bought these tickets, I didn't know I was going to be hosting the Golden Globes. I didn't know that I was going to be adding shows. I didn't know I was going to be doing a photo shoot on Wednesday. I didn't know I was going to be a Joan Rivers special taping on Thursday. I
didn't know. I like, uh, my schedules filled the fuck up, and so these shows are like actual work for me and taking a day off where I don't have a day off. So it was my one day off, and I was like, I didn't give up a day off to fly to Indy so I could eat sushi with you and watch you watch CNN and.
Go, God damn it.
He's such a fucking bastard.
He's disgusting. What is wrong with these people? That's all my mom says.
I'm like, how many times can you say what is wrong with these fucking idiots? Like is that going to fix anything? Saying that over and over and I know that I'm a little bit my mom and I got over that, but she can't stop saying that's why I'm selling you. And I told my mom, I said, I go, mom, I said on the podcast, if Trump wins, I think it's gonna kill you, and you need to start figuring out a plan to survive it if.
It happens, because you need to.
It's too much. So anyway, we're both looking at each other like should we do this? Thank God we didn't, because like, I am not allowed to sell the tickets I got. I got like a special deal, not a deal, but like when you get the ticket things that I got, you agree to never sell them, which I would never in my wildest dreams think of selling. It's a Taylor Swift song. I would never think of selling a Taylor
Swift ticket. But it was just in the moment that I was like, I'm so tired, I can't be there for her and this dad and this daughter who are ever three thousand dollars like they would have the best time ever, And so I told my mom it would. If I were to have done it, I would not have done it for money. I would have given it to someone who just had a sign that didn't have money and just been like, this is the greatest thing.
I don't don't.
You don't need to know who I am. We don't need to TikTok about it. I just want to give this to you and like just disappear. And I didn't do that, but that's what I would have done it. So we get tour seats and that they're on the floor seats. You you have your seat, right, But there are these sneaky bitches that have worse floor seats that sneak up and shove you in.
More no, yes, our show, Yes we went.
Yes, that's right, thank you in Minneapolis. And I do not tolerate it. And let me just say it happened last week in New Orleans. And these two little thirteen year old girls shout out to my best friends thirteen and fourteen, I forget your names, but I'm obsessed with you. And and almost Kaki and Curran, who I went to the show with, were almost annoyed with me because I was talking to these girls so much and like not
talking to that. I could tell that there was They weren't like mad, but they were like what is going on? Like I was becoming best friends with these little girls. I was learning so much about like what it is to be thirteen fourteen. They were so sweet.
They just remind well they were.
They were just like talking about how well. One of them was like, I really like, I go, what songs are you excited to see? And she said Champagne Problems because I can play it on piano, or my Teers Ricochet because I can play it on piano. When I go, honey, if you can play my teers, ricochet and piano, you can play Champagne Problem. You can play you can literally play every song. I go, is there a capo for a piano? Because you can play every song if you
know those chords? And she go or I said to her, and she goes, I go, do you play guitar? And she was like I tried, but it really hurts to do a B minor And I go, you please. I was like, promise me.
I was almost like Billy Madison like shaking.
Him like you got it.
I was like, you got to start playing guitar now, yes, but she wants to do guitar too. She was like, my dad wants me too, and it's hard but it hurts my fingers and I really would want to and I go, I go, you can play any Taylor Swift song you want. And by the way, Taylor Swift, I've never seen her do a B minor. I know she can, but literally i've never seen her do one. I was thinking about it, Taylor, Taylor's one of the best guitar
is going and without question, but she's simple. She uses a KPO and she gets it done, and she could do it. She could fucking bar up and down the fucking front, but she doesn't. I go, girls, you can play any song you want if you just learn. You know, you're on your own kid, and all the chords in that. I was like, you learn that song, you can play that song and you'll be able to play it in a couple months after practicing, and then you can play every Taylor Swift song and you can love.
And then I was dominant, Oh.
I don't need dominant G. Dominant is that cord? Oh yeah, just a G.
G G is a G.
Okay, And so I was just trying to get through these girls.
And then I was also like teaching them about what the songs were about, because I could tell that like they didn't know the details about the songs. And I was like, isn't this so cool that she wrote this song about being brokenhearted while on Aras tour and now she's performing this song about Aris tour on Aras tour and they were like yeah, it was just like so cute. And then I was realizing, like they haven't even gone through the things that are going to make them understand
these songs in like such a deeper way. It was so cute. They were so adorable anyway that with them there were there was some riff raff going, like they were getting pushed out into the aisle, but they their mom and them like recognized me so that I could tell that they didn't want to be like, hey, will you guys scoot over more? But they didn't realize that we didn't know that they were in the aisle. And as soon as I saw it, I was like, why are you guys in the aisle? And they were like, oh, well,
because you guys I think are supposed to be. And I go, why are we over too much? And I was like, oh, there's there's secret people sneaking in there. Oh I fucking they they these. I was so proud of myself because this family of cute girls, these and the two moms watched me go over to the guys on our left and go can I can I ask you what your ticket number is? What seat you are?
Okay, so you need to be on these seats and they were like they were so cute.
They were like yes. And then last night the same thing happened. My mom was like being shoved over towards me, and I go, why is this happening? I was like, we're five and six, so there should only be four people to your left because we're number five and six. And I counted and I go there's five and I go, what's going on here? And this girl goes, oh, well, oh no, there was four of them, but they were
really spread out. And this was during Gracie's set, and she goes, well, I just figured, like, since until this whole row fills in, because no one was on our right side, she was like, we could just spread out, and I go okay, touche, And so my body like lit up in fire because I confronted her and she was like, I just figured until it's you know, they're here, we could spread out, and I'm like okay, and so then I like was like she was right, that's a
good idea. But then people started getting there and then this group of people showed up where this woman was and this wasn't even her fucking soul, and the lied.
The girl she lied, and she don't trust anybody now the bad My mom.
Goes, she is horrible. Bo Nikki, I don't know if I can get through this, and I go it might be me, honestly, because I was reeking last night, so then I was I clocked this woman and then she Then the people to the left of me that filled in where that woman was. That woman stayed, but they she kind of like made friends with the people that
were there, maybe, but they were five people. And then and then it was awkward because that woman went away to go buy merch or something, right, and then four people filled in that were really nice, and one of them was like, I love you.
I'm such a fan. I just want to don't want to bother you.
Love you so much, You're so like, this was so nice, had amazing snake earrings, such a cutie. Loved this girl.
I think her name was Katie. Shout out Katie.
And then the girl, the annoying woman, came back and squeezed in and was kind of squeezing my mom and I out. And then the people to my right had filled in and we were getting boxed in, and I was like, oh, no, I have to like confront the girl that likes me about her friend and this is going to like make her hate me now. And I was like, but I gotta do it. I gotta do it. So I just like sucked it up and I go I tapped Katie and I go, hey, I'm not trying
to be a bitch, but she's gotta go. She's gotta because this girl was clearly didn't belong there, and you could tell that they were kind of like.
Thinks like shit and tweak.
She so then she moved ahead of us to some empty seats that were in ahead of us, and my mom and I are so distracted by this woman because and now this woman knows I've pushed her out, and she starts filming me because I think she clocks that I'm somewhat her friends recognize me or something, so she almose she filmed you, and I go, I'll film her back, so I've got footage of you. Two bitch, don't even try to get me, and I I know you didn't
belong in that section. I know you didn't, so don't try to wrap me out like I was being some kind of like you know, uh, Karen of the twelfth Row.
I was just taking advantage because they know that people won't confront them, which is what we were talking about the beginning.
It's true because everyone is in a really good mood at these TAILORSWI concerts. And I didn't do it in a rude way. I just said to this Katie, were all, I go, I go, Your friend's gotta go.
I go.
I'm sorry, I'm not trying to go.
Because I would have gone up to a guy in one of the shirts that works there and said, hey, will you check the girl in the blue shirts ticket?
Because I know she doesn't belong here, And I wanted to do it for a couple of people.
But you know what, I didn't do it for the guy who I said, Phil, saw do it later and fill in a row because he knew every word to every song, and I go, he's a true swiftye and he deserves to be here. This woman was just like filming obnoxiously, not really singing the words, and was just annoying. And she just reminded me of everyone who takes advantage of the system and is always trying to get a
deal on everything and scam the system. She reminds me of my mom's friend who always used to make us lie about our age to sneak into a water park so we could go in under like the kids under twelve, you know. So I was like thirteen having to pretend I was like ten, and it was just it made me feel so bad, and I'm like, why can't you just do the right thing, go to the.
Water park if you can't afford it.
I know it sucks, but like, just don't make me do something illegal what I don't want to. So anyway, I was feeling lit up, but I fucking confronted her and I felt so good about it. And then the woman next to me on the right, she was whipping her hair around and she was she had amazing hair.
I would have been whipping it too, and it was whipping me in the face.
Do you think I gave a shit? No? Because she belonged there and that was her seat, and good for you, older woman for having such lush, thick hair.
Was I annoyed?
Yes? Would I have maybe said something or like been kind of a bitch and been like m because I was in such a bad mood and I was tired. I was starting to go that way and then I let the concert like sink or the mushrooms sink into my bones, and then I was filled.
No, I micro does, but it didn't really make me feel anything.
I will say that final thought being at a Tailor Swift show, like you just have to recalibrate and kind of reset because I was so hot after I had that confrontation, because I felt awkward and I felt like I was being like the rude person, but I wasn't. I really didn't do it in a rude way, but I just felt like my mom was too scared to say something. So I had to be the one that stepped up. And I was like and oh and shout
out to the girls. And so I got recognized by like everyone around my section because one person does, and then the other people are like, oh, who is that?
And then and it looks like I like like this.
I promise to God, I do not go to a Taylor Swift so thinking I will be recognized. If I did, I would have tried to look way cuter. I swear to God, I was like embarrassed when I met Renee. She was like, I just want to say, you talk about your looks sometimes and you're so beautiful. She said.
That made me so happy, Renee, when you said that, Like, I know that's like a dumb thing to get so excited about, but like I felt like I looked like trash last night because I did I was tired, and I like barely did my makeup and I was trying with my hair and then I just had to put it up in a clip because it was just so my hair is so thin and like frizzy, and like
like it's giving postmenopausal woman. Lately, my hair is just like kind of giving up on me and becoming like what older women's hair becomes eventually, no no shade, Like that's just what it is. When you get older, your hair gets dryer and thinner, and that's like what my hair is doing. And I was so sad about it. But Renee like made me feel so good when she said that.
She was like, You're so beautiful.
But I so I was getting like a lot of people being like can I get a picture? Can I get a picture? It was really very nice in it. It Honestly, I don't usually depend on being recognized to lift my spirits. But it really helped last night because I was really depressed and I had just watched Gray Abrams, who's one of the most beautiful people in the world and most talented people in the world, and I actually that lifted my spirits.
She's just so sweet and so good. But I was kind of coming out of it.
But I was like in this like kind of malaise right before Taylor began, because I was like, I have a marathon to run right now, and I am not and I am I'm not gonna appreciate it the way that I know some people would in the twelfth row. But man, everyone being so excited to meet me and then us like all talking about Taylor and about how exciting it was really like got me back on board to be like, oh my god, I'm at a fucking
Taylor's show. I'm at the last one that's ever happening in the United States of America because she's going to Canada next. This is like so fun and I the best time, and and then I will say that every There was a guy next to us that had an ear piece in like he was kind of down the row and he had like, oh, you know like like musicians wear yeah with a little twinyar mond little yeah yeah.
And they had like the little like you know how phone home phones used to have the curly cute, like yeah, yeah, the curly cord. It had the curly cord coming out going down to some pack that security And no, dude, he was just wearing a regular shirt and looked like a regular guy. And so the girls behind me shout
out to the Chicago girls. All of them have first graders, and they all met through their first grade children, and they're all moms that ditched their first graders who desperately wanted to go see Taylor and be like, no, whe're
going because we're adults. And they were so cute. I forget all your names, but you were so fun One of you was like so funny because we were talking about talking shit about like celebrities or like having opinions about stuff, and I go, that's the one thing about being a celebrity that kind of sucks is that you can't shit on celebrities anymore, Like you can't have a strong opinions about things sucking because and she goes, oh, yeah, that's why I'm not a celebrity, is because I'm choosing.
I'm choosing like I want to just keep my right to like talk shit. And that's why otherwise i'd be famous. She was really funny. I think you would be. You're really funny. Anyway, they were like, what's the deal with the guy with the earpiece? And and I was like, I don't know. And we were kind of like what could he be speculating security? Like we also did like the security is he like out here like monitoring things for Taylor or whatever?
And then I was like, I don't know. I would love to know.
And then the girls in front of me were like, wait, Nikki, who do you think that guy is? Like what the thing is here? And I was like, oh my god, no one here, I go. I don't know, Like should I ask him? They were like you're the only one who could. And I was like, you guys are right. And it gave me so much confidence as the girl who's already confronted two people within five days.
I was like I can do this.
And so I go, sir, I go, what's going on? We're dying to know what's going on with the earpiece?
Yeah? Three people, and he goes, I'm with the.
Local news affiliate and I have a live hit at eleven and I was like ah, and then I got the answer and then I brought it back to all the girls and they were so happy and it made me feel so good that I was like the because everybody made him feel Yeah, and he was like, are you unique? Glazer?
And so that was another and it was another nice thing.
It was so sweet. Also, Rory Scovell was at the show and I think he just wrote me as a joke, being like am I going to see you tonight?
And I go, yep, I'm headed in right now.
He's like, no way. And then I didn't get to see him see him, but he was there and that was cool, and uh, it was It was just a great show. We thought post Malone was going to come out for Fortnite and he didn't.
This is so funny.
Last show of the US in the US, and then went to Montreal, Toronto, Montreal, and then yeah, after that, no more and then it's done and then December eighth is the last show I'm going to in Vancouver. It's the last show of the tour.
Yeah, how are you feeling about that?
This was my twenty first show and Vancouver will be my twenty second. It would have been my twenty fourth had Vienna shows happened. It's I am it's time. It's you know what, it's it's time for it to be over. For me. I think that I'm like starting to have a little bit of like I'm gonna I'm having withdraw, like a little bit of a malaise because I'm sad
that it's gonna go away. Like I have a joke in my act right now about like killing myself and how the if you look at the crime scene, you would guess that I killed myself because of some reason. I'm not gonna give it away, but it's funny and everyone's I go, everyone's gonna think I did it because of that.
But it's not.
I didn't kill myself. That I kill myself because the arastor ended.
And it's a joke, but it's kind of not because I realized aristor when you really boil it down. For me, it has been It's an intense dopamine hit and I am addicted to dopamine. It's whatever because I have ADHD shout out to Paris Hilton in her song Adhd. Anyone who has ADHD should give it a listen. It's so fucking good, It's so oh.
I love it so much.
But I crave dopamine, whether it's through pot, whether it's through masturbation, whether it's through what caffeine I get. I love dopamine.
And that's the lines.
I mean, that doesn't I don't know. That doesn't give me dopamine. It's like it it gives me. Yeah, it gives me like a sense of purpose at first, and then I instantly regret it because I just I don't. Every single time, I start shaking, and then I cower like I don't. I can't go on for more than three seconds of a confrontation at all, Like I'm horrible
at it. I shouldn't be doing it. But I realized that Taylor Swift is like three and a half hours of intense dopamine because I was talking about it before, and this is all true. That I get to escape myself and I get to like have a party and dress up and and be and dance and all these things, and those are all absolutely true. But it also is like the build up of anticipation, the excitement. It feels like a crush, you know, it feels like the way I used to feel when I would get crushes on people.
And like, oh my god, I'm gonna see this for tonight.
I get to get dressed up like it's all it's all dopamine, it's chemicals surging in my fucking brain, and then it's a huge dump.
And that's why people.
I mean, I've talked to so many Swifties who have gone to one or two shows and they are catatonic afterwards. I have not been because I always have a next one coming, and I think I'm starting to feel like a little bit like what am I going to replace this with? And the answer is Gracie Abrams shows like.
That is I'm in it. I'm sold.
She's like she's it, she's it for me, and she's just like I could put my energy into that if I want to next as long as she tours and keeps touring. But it's yeah, I'm feeling I'm feeling like it's it's time for Taylor to have a break, and it's time for me to have a break because I have done. There'll be twenty two shows in I think a year and a half, or maybe over a year and a half, maybe a year and eight months, and it's felt like a huge part of my life.
You're in eight months is how much of my life?
I'm forty seventy.
Thank you for that, Math, and I just I've always trusted you with math, Brian, and I love that I can always just count on.
You to just do it so quickly and I don't even have to think about it, right because I just know you are okay.
So I just checked. It's a big part of my life. I think it would be around uh four percent of my life, right, And so I if you were on the road with her, I'm along with going on your own tour. Yes, I have. I have literally traveled so much to go see her. It's not just like, oh, she happens to be down the street or she's in my town. I have made concerted efforts. So it's it's
been exhausting. It's not been easy. For Actually, recently, I've now seen Taylor Swift three sundays in a row and I have and those are cities that I wasn't already in really at all. I had to travel teach to them. So it's been it's like I'm I'm ready to stop, because as long as it's going on, I will keep making the effort. So I'm a little you know, It's like when anything ends that you put a lot of
effort into that you enjoy. There's a sadness, but there's also like I need a break, and so I'm excited to see.
What happens next. But it's I don't regret any of it.
I'm so excited that I got to witness one of the best, you know, performances that has ever been seen. Like people who you know, professionally review this kind of stuff and have gone to shows their whole lives. Ringo Star is saying like he hasn't witnessed anything like this since Beatlemania, So it's really cool that I was able to see so many of these groundbreaking, like seminal performances.
And I think she has done like by the end of it, like one hundred and eighty or seventy or something like that, and so I will see have seen a huge chunk of it.
And it's just been so much fun.
And I don't know what will come next for me to replace it with, but I think I'll just go to more shows, more football games, just more things where I can be around crowds and have and stick up for proper seating techniques and enforce the laws of ticket your calling.
You should be a security guard usher.
I love it. I love just being like, hey, what is sorry, like what's your ticket say? And then being like that's right, that's what I thought, So that's back there. And people have done it to me when I've like gotten the wrong seat and planes where they're like, what's
see it are you? They're really friendly about it, and you're like, oh, I'm you know, thirteen D and they're like, well this is fourteen D and you go and you like, oh, it just takes the window in yourself so much and you're so confident, and I already have my sleep mask on and my pillow out, my dog is stucked under the seat, and I'd like get it.
Oh, you gotta double down. You gotta be like, well, I'm gonna stay here because this is what I wanted.
Okay. What do you think about when you get on a plane and someone's sitting on your seat and they are go, can you just take the aisle?
And you go no, well not if you are like switching your position, like going from aisle to the window or something.
Like that, Yeah, like I don't want an aisle, I want a window.
They can't switch you there. But if they're switching you for me.
These people seemed very annoyed. And thank you to the flight attendant who looked at me like they go, can you just and he looked at me like no, because you bought the seat you want it, And I go, I beg you and like when I did it, by the scene, I wanted a first class seat, but I bought a seat that was available, and they seemed very bothered by me. And then they were even more bothered when I was like, can I go to the bathroom
and had to like climb over them. They're like, see, we told you should take the aisle, but I don't want the issle because I can't lean on the goddamn window.
That's it for the show today. We'll be back tomorrow. Tomorrow.
Will know something, I mean, we won't know anything because we'll be recording it on a Tuesday, but when you listen to it, something will be known.
Yeah, nothing will be known by the time we record this tomorrow, which is knowable.
Things will be known, I think, will know things that give us more uncertainty.
Well, here's one thing that I think we're going to know pretty soon. Well, I will know pretty early because I hear that they're really good at counting votes. Some states are better than others, California being maybe the slowest in the nation accounting votes. But we will probably know who's going to control the Senate by the middle of the week, by Tuesday or Wednesday.
Okay, yeah, hold your breath, Everyone say a prayer. My mom was like praying to God that Trump would win, And I go, Mom, if prayer is what makes whoever win, I think they're going to win because I think they're doing I think their side is a lot more people pray and do a God. And let me remind you of the Ricky Gervais joke that I heard the other day. That was the arrogance it takes to pray to a god who didn't stop the Holocaust so he can help you find your keys. And I just want to remind
people of that, because that, really, that just says it all. Yeah, it says it all. And then when he also told Colbert, he was like, you don't believe in every god that exists, you believe in one God? Right? He said, yes, Well, there's about three thousd gods, so you don't believe in two nine and ninety nine gods as an atheist, I just believe don't believe in one more god than you don't.
And I really like that too.
Shout out to Ricky Gervais. I can't get enough of his clips. He is amazing and I agree with almost everything he says.
I love I love a.
Mean vegan, or like, I love not a mean vegan, but I love a guy that is like known for being like really brash and saying like cunning, yeah, cunning, and cutting things. And then he also like loves animals, and maybe I like that because that's myself.
I have so much empathy bleeding with it.
But don't cut me in line, and don't talk about kids getting surgery in schools, because I will have about a sentence to say to you, and then my body will start collapsing on itself and I will crumple into a puddle and prove nothing to anyone in line except that liberals are crazy.
Thank you for listening, don't be We'll see you next week or tomorrow.
BYEE. The Nicki Glazer Podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart podcasts created and hosted by me Nicki Glazer, co hosted by Brian Frangie, Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonny and Noah Avior. Edited it engineered by Lean and Loaf, video production Mark Canton, and music by Anya Marina.
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