The Nick Gliser Podcast.
Here's Nikky.
Hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's Nicky Glaiser Podcast. Second part of the week. I'm in studio, joined by my monsieur monsieur. That's French for my sister. What is it?
Also French for mister.
Oh, monsieur monsieur?
What is monsieur?
But that is that's that's sister bad my sister, Yes, mister words.
I wonder if there was some French playwright in the seventeen hundreds who made that joke in a play.
Oh my god, you're so right. There definitely is. But yeah, like the the when you read the word m O N s I E you are it's monsieur and that's bullshit. Yeah, that's no one needs that. What's the weirdest one in uh Spanish? It's like really fucked up like those little like squiggly lines over.
There's like a which is kind of weird.
Oh really like a R g U E L L E s is.
So that's everything else is very What is that?
What is that?
Was just a neighborhood in Madrid.
Oh okay, I only know Pacasco Corcos Psyco Corcos, And that's a screwdriver, corkscrew, corkscrew. Yeah, we're here with Brian too, and no, I want to give a quick oh la. Brian uh is a showrunner for a new show. Was a show runner special that is coming out. Tim Dillon has a special called This is Your Country.
Yes, it's Tim Dillon. This is Your Country. I totally forgot to plug it on this.
Yeah, well, no need to because it's blowing up. The trailer is fucking going viral like crazy, because it should. It's so good. This is like a send up of a nineteen nineties early two thousand Jerry Springer type Jenny Jones Ricky Lake talk show hosted by Tim Dillon. A one, one time special where it's like people in a studio audience, kind of like the daytime talk shows used to be, you know, revealing insane things and it's all like unscripted, and the you know, the trailer gives you a good
example of what it is. But it was, I mean, so everyone's so excited about it.
Yeah, the trailer did amazing. It's one of the best performing trailers for a comedy special ever on Netflix. And so everyone's super pumped and excited and their response yea feedback is exactly what I wanted to hear, which is like, basically, why haven't they done this before? Like this is like that's what you want to hear when you come out with an idea.
Absolutely, yeah, why haven't they done it before? Again?
Right right? Why haven't they resurrect? Like we wanted this, we need it now more than ever.
Why exactly why why has it taken so long to do this in a new kind of way?
Because exactly with a you know, no offense to Jenny Jones, who is a comedian, Jerry Springer who was funny. Yeah, yeah, but like Tim Dillan's an actual comedian, and to have an actual comedian host one of these trash talk shows is something that's never been done before. I can't think that's part of it. And also it's just the perfect vehicle for Tim.
It really is Is it a real.
Really see him in one of those or a Lamborghini? Yeah? Bentley, Like, this guy only does the finest. What was your question?
Wait, my question? Is is it real guests?
Yeah?
Okay, they like scouted throughout America trying to find these people and their stories, like the most insane stories and people who are revealing things and like you get a taste of it on the trailer. There's a furrery. There's something a furry in the is a furry.
It's a real furry. That's one of our greatest fears is that you've despite all of our you know, how we set this up that people watch it and they go, it's fake, none of it's real, and it's.
Like all of it to say that people aren't that good of actors. Yeah, like this this this whole like it's fake thing about reality TV or anything, like, just remember that acting's hard kind of it's not like the hardest thing, which I love. David Spade points out in one of his jokes that acting isn't that hard, because he's like, didn't a six year old just win an
Oscar for Best Actress. He's like, if it's a skill that is like takes so much work, Like how are these kids just like winging it and then winning Best act Like it's it's obviously a special skill, but yeah, this you couldn't find this many people to be this good at acting that you've never heard of before, that have no credits anywhere else.
Yeah, and some of these people are doing like these aren't easy scenes, like someone feel something to you and you had like a regular person acting would overdo it. They would go over the top. And these reactions are like you can believe that this is how like just like putting your hand on your head and going like,
oh my god, Like these are things. Yeah, if you were an actor, you wouldn't like if someone said I slept with your wife, you know, you wouldn't go like, oh my god, you would go and if you're acting like what the likely Yeah, was like famously the most the most fake of all of the trash talk shows. And that's why Jerry Springer would start a segment and two midgets would just run out, cursing and punching each other in the face up to it.
Yeah, well that's what they called them back then. And you're just speaking from that time.
I'm just speaking from the time.
You guys fans of talk shows, did you used to watch them?
I didn't, you know. As soon as I caught on that it was like kind of fake. I did not enjoy it. But I used to really like, you know, Ricky Lake and Jenny Jones, the ones that I wanted to I pitched to HBO, I think years ago, and it was like a loose pitch. It was like a general meeting, which a general meeting is when you, as a talent go in or like a writer or whatever, you go in to a network and you just like
talk about ideas, like really like loose stuff. It's not like an actual pitch, but I did kind of loosely pitch an idea of doing like there's not an Oprah anymore, which I think Oprah. I most Oprah so much where it was like you would have those fantastical episodes where it's like this guy episodes about hoarders and it's just like all it's kind of like morbid Curiosity episodes where like a bunch of women who have been cheated on and everyone in the audience is the other woman or
something like. You know, there was moments like that, but then there was like Tom Cruises coming by to and you know, talk about his new film and the whole show is about that Samurai movie he did and you.
Know whatever it is and the last Samurai.
Yeah, the last Samurai. The yeah, that was I missed the sh like that that had kind of everything, but the sensationalist like when I found when Jerry Springer just became kind of a cartoon of itself. I kind of wasn't interested in it. Yeah, what about you guys.
I always liked Richard Bay for the sensationalism stuff.
I never heard of it like an Irish talk show.
No, maybe like regional maybe it was, I don't know.
He had all these like preposterous shows and that's what I used to watch as a kid, and I think it like really pushed me into going into radio and all that.
I think he was media for.
Not only did this was like an inspiration for your career.
Richard Bay, Sally Jesse Rafael.
Yeah, well even Howard Stern has that error, like has that kind of vibe to it. Doctor Phil definitely did.
I'm thinking, who was the guy before Doctor Phil that wore the glasses?
Phil Donahue, Yes, not a doctor, but also he also looked mister Phil.
He was one of the originators of this.
Died, I'm guessing during your production.
Well, so like literally hours we wrapped, get the announcement that Phil dona Hu died, and I took it as a sign.
That's a sign that your trailer is going to be the number one watch Combat Special trailer of all time on Netflix. That's what that means. That's uh, that's so exciting.
I remember, like the trailer came out last week and I was with Brian actually on the eve of it coming out, and Brian was like working with me on something very like we were like really working hard on this thing that we did last Thursday, and you like had to put your like fears about that almost on the back burner, I'm thinking, or they were just there while you were also working this job that had nothing
to do with that. Like I kind of felt for you in that moment of like, you have this thing that you're anxious about coming out tomorrow, but you also have this thing that you're anxious about doing tonight that you needs all your focus. Like was that hard to be pulled in those directions or were you looking? Was it kind of nice that you had a distraction because I know you were stressed out.
I was stressed out, but not because of the amount of work or anything like that, just stressed out about the how the thing would be received. But no, I think that day was insane. That day was that was an insane day.
I don't even want to talk about that day because it's a day that will it just there. We did. We did a thing last week that no one saw, and you know what good because it's it's amazing that if you don't tell people to watch something, no one sees it, like I did not. I mean, you probably got feedback from people in your life who you told that you are right, But that's the only feedback I
got to. And I didn't put it on my socials or even talk about it on this show because I didn't know how it was going to go because the stakes were so high. It was live, it was in a realm that I'm not familiar with.
It was it was filmed in front of a Russian mob from.
We didn't know. We did I know how it was gonna go, but I had a feeling that it was going to be something that we needed to work out the kings before I advertised it, like because there was supposed to be a big announcement of like Nikki Glazer's gonna be on this thing, and it was supposed to
be the day or a couple of days before. It was like you get a you know, in in our business, like the announcement's almost bigger than the thing, you know, like I just had an hour long meeting about the marketing for the Golden Globes, and I honestly said in the meeting, like this is almost more important than the globes itself. And I and they were grateful, I think to hear that because they acknowledge like it is, this is gonna play during football games all the commercials like,
and it's gonna get eyes on it. So and there's no eyes on it unless we'd kill this, you know, like and really nail the tone of this. So it's so when they came to me about this thing last week that we did and we're like, hey, we want to do an announcement beforehand. My whole team was like, let's get a big announce this is a big deal. Let's like have a whole extra day of stuff. It's gonna come out and then you'll get stuff from that. But like, let's have an extra day of the announcement.
And I said, I just have a feeling we let's just announce it when it happens, like that'll be the announcement. And I'm so glad I did that. And I'm not always right when it comes to the stuff. My team is often way more right than I am. But they trusted me on this, and I pushed back and said, I just don't. I just don't want people to expect perfection out of this, and I think they will if we really like blow it up, like Nicky's gonna be on this thing. So I did it. It aired and
like no one saw it. I didn't post about it on socials, we didn't clip it out. And I will say I am proud of it. I couldn't have done anything better. Brian couldn't have done anything better. No one actually could have done anything better. Everything was set up for this to be as good as possible, and it just the circum It was like the weather turned. It's almost like something you could not plan and no one really could have foreseen happened, and it made it not
go great. And that's a good feeling when you can blame anything but anyone, Like it's just like it's no one's.
Fout of your control.
Yeah, no one could have foreseen that the Jets would win, which is partially why that happened.
Right, Okay, So I was I did a live like a live roast on the Thursday Night Football. If you want to go watch it on Amazon Prime there's I know, so Thursday Night Football, Amazon Prime. If you want to go back and watch last week's episode, which I realized this, Brian, if you weren't watching live, you're not going back and watching an app.
No one does that.
No one's watching that. No offense to the after show. That's not what it's for. The after show is looking for you, unless there's searching so people can go back and watch it.
You see the clip the clip was there's clips circulating on the internet afterwards. Yeah, the idea, Yeah, there was one. Brian Fitzpatrick posted a clip. Oh he did, he did, and he said that you were funny.
Oh that's so nice. I didn't see that. I was kind of like ear muffs or what. Yeah. I was kind of like horse blinders for this, because anytime I saw anything with my name on it afterwards, I was like, I didn't nail it in the way I wanted to. And so I don't want to hear anyone's commentary on it, because I know anything you'll tell me critical of it, I know I don't need to hear it and anything you and I just I just wanted it to go away.
And I'm still proud of it. Though the script is hilarious, my performance is a perfection for Foret for what I was seeing.
I was in a comedy club or there was a regular audience there, then people would be like, yeah, this is better than the roast.
Tom Brady, thank you.
It was.
I really was proud of myself for that. But it was just there were screaming Jets fans after it. But the Jets fans were only there because production and me included thought having an audience there will be better. So let's keep the fans around after the game. But the fans don't care about the after show. They were focused on getting autographs from Sauce.
Sauce Gardener, Yeah, Sauce Gardener.
Yeah.
These weren't just fans. These were fans who were so drunk and crazy that they stayed for a full hour and a half after the game ended to try to get an autograph from Sauce.
Yeah, so we weren't. I didn't really think about, like, there's just sometimes in TV production and in everything I think where like everyone kind of has a blind spot for it where you're just like no one even thought like these people will be drunk, they probably won't be able to hear exactly. There's no context for what I'm doing. There's never been like that. No one knows to expect a roast after the after show. We didn't know players would be milling about behind me in these all these
people would It was eleven thirty at night. They've been there since tailgating, They've been there eight hours, and so there was like a lot of factors that we didn't that no one even thought. We just thought, oh my god, that will be a good audience. They weren't. It's okay, I love Jets fans now. I'll always have a place in my heart for them. I'm not mad at them. They they were just so happy that they beat the Patriots, which was not expected.
Right, well, not unexpected, but like the Jets never win and they never beat the Patriots.
Good Jets.
Yeah, but this year, you know, I think you can say on paper the Jets are a better team than the Patriots, so it wasn't totally unexpected.
Well, the good news is I'll be doing this four more times during the NFL season on Thursday Night Football, and just tune in every week because who knows, I might not even announce the next time I'm doing it because I want to nail it and then announce it. But this was pretty nailed. So like besties, you can go check it out. It's it's on Amazon Prime. It was last Thursday night on the twenty the eighteenth. I think, so, yeah, it was the Jets Patriots game. You can't miss it.
You can and I would love for you to, but google it.
That's what I did.
You just google it? Yea, yeah nineteenth think you know, yeah, Lauren watched it three times. My family's so sweet. They were so supportive and so like, you killed it, and I you know, there's certain people you look to in your life for like confirmation that something is not as bad as you might think it is. And I knew it wasn't bad. I just needed to hear it from the people I trust. Brian is one person I trust so much. When he when he watched it down and
said your your performance was near perfection. When I read that, or Chris read it to me from his text, I was like, yes, like, Brian's not gonna bullshit. No, even even if you know you're just not going to you might not say.
Looking at it, I was like, what could have Nikki done? What could she have done to change this a little bit, and I was like, I can't think of anything. Everything that's really nice was correct.
Thank you.
It's just like all I ever wanted. It's just like you're, you know, you're like playing baccarat and it's like you're you're just losing, and it's like, well, that's why. It's because the game's against you. Yeah, threw a bacarat reference and so you'd understand it better.
Berta is the only thing I understand. But then my sister had really nice things to say, and then Matt did too, and my parents and and you know when I don't do well in something, they just go like fun. That was fun, Like you could just get a sense. So it was really nice. But but yeah, I'm glad that we get to do it again and try to nail it. And it's like, really, you know, like doing live TV writing a whole script about a game that
happened that you can't prepare for. I mean, you can write a little bit about the cities and the players and stuff, but most of the writing happens during the game. It is fucking fun. I like, I was like, you know, we were talking about maybe we maybe we channed this into something else, maybe it's not a speed roast or whatever it is, and I was like, no, it was so fun. Like it felt like I was working in an emergency room during COVID, Like it felt like high stakes,
high pressure. It was trioge. It was a triage unit in this like in the stadium. We're sitting there like in within a room, in the whole production with the whole production team of Thursday Night Football, who are all amazing people and so friendly and so nice and so like supportive of what we want to do.
And Cat, Spoon, Pickle, I mean, these are all names of words that has taught my niece.
Uh the wait, Pickle is that guy's name?
Yeah, Pickle. N Uh, there's Spoon, There's pickle, There's Sin, there's Cat.
Who's Sin Ross? I mean Cynthia.
Uh.
You guys were on such a we were tight buddied up right away because you had to. Sin was the one that was to transcribe script into the teleprompter and making sure everything was I mean, it is a but it's crazy. We're like writing jokes that I'm gonna say in like forty five minutes.
That's right, and nowhere to test it, nowhere.
To test it. We're just like, is this funny? Like there was one joke, Oh, we were trying to come up with, like, okay, Tony Gonzalez is one of the guys on the panel and.
The one that looks like a genie.
Yes, we said he was a genie. Yes, okay, he is so hot, so awesome, so nice, he like came back and talked to us so endearing, loved him so much, and we're trying to think of like who who jerks off to him? Because I was like, he looks like someone like mom's take law baths too, And that's what ended up being the joke, is like, you're the kind of guy that my mom thinks about when she takes
one of her long baths. And then we said that he looks like a genie that can only be summoned if you rub the crotch of a talbot's pant a sensible talbot's pantsuit. And so just such a ridiculous joke. I mean, that one was so out there. But then there was there we were debating, like because then we were like, wait, what's what do we really want to like these are the conversations we're having backstage when there's like it's crunch time. I'm like, but like, who's jerking
off to Tony? We know it's like a housewife. We know it's like a a like we like the idea of it's my mom, but like can we be more specific about who that is? And then we're like, it's like and then at one point I'm like, I think like it's like undecided voters, And we all really liked that, but we were like, but how do we get there? Like we know how to get there because we already
set up my mom. Like it's it's interesting because you're like you're you're brainstorming about a joke, and you all like, like you hit that lily pad because you've taken the other lily pads there. And sometimes you will hit a joke like undecided voter and you go, okay, let's just put that in. That doesn't work unless you set up all the things that led to us saying undecided voter in the It's like.
You had to be there. It's like you had to see all the steps that we took to get to undecided voters.
Like there's nowhere to test it out, and we all laugh and We're like, that's so funny, that's so exactly it. But then it's like, no, that we we got to get them there, and I don't think we can get them there. Maybe let's save it for another let's save it for the podcast. But there's just like there were so many I would oh my god, what was it? Okay, let's go to break. Can come back with your favorite joke? Okay,
we'll be back after this. All right, we're back. We're talking about the last week's jokes that didn't make it.
What was your favorite? My favorite joke was between boeing Epstein and the football team. It's been a rough decade for Jets.
So okay, that joke didn't make it because of h We had to take out one of the things. Okay, I'm not gonna say which one, and it's not the one you're thinking, honestly, So we had to.
Think Amazon wouldn't let us make fun of the Jets.
Yeah, yeah, exactly, So there, you know, because of you know, these are two very protected brands that we and we admire and honor. They wouldn't let us say one of the things of those Jets, like between boeing Epstein, between Boeing and Epstein. It's been a rough year for the and New York. Wait what was it again?
It was a rough decade for Jets.
Okay, yes, well we had to take out one, but then the joke would so we were like, okay, let's just use let's just say between Epstein and New York it's been a rougher year for the Jets. And it was like, no, it doesn't work without both Boeing and Epstein. Or you can't just do it with Boeing. You can't just do it with Epstein. So you like lose a whole good joke. Yeah, yeah, not enough proof for the for the payoff. There was one reference to what Didty's
freak offs? Yeah, there was like that. I really like. It was like at one point, like one of the guys was running and he grabbed him and it looked like he was like pulling his thong out. Yeah, like it was like stretched out, And I made a joke that like, I haven't seen a stretch that big since I told Leonardo DiCaprio I was twenty five or something. And that ended. That was written last second, like literally
that was written three seconds before. It was like we have to send the script and someone just said it. We were like put it in, and but before that, it was like, this is how this is. This is the same style. This is the same method that did he uses.
To getch people when they're trying to escape his freak offs.
And like we all knew that that joke with what comes out from these freak offs is would come back to like haunt us. Like right now, the freak offs are kind of like a funny thing to make fun of because we're like all these thousand bottles of loom and like the IV bags afterwards, because these people are fucking so hard. But we like we don't know the details yet, and when the details come out, it will be not funny to make fun of these freak offs anymore.
Like I just know that, like once we hear from victims, like it's not going to be like it's we can make fun of it now. So there's it's interesting to know when more information is revealed that a joke will not work. And thank god for the NFL and Amazon whoever said who vetoed that joke, Thank you for doing that and saving me having to explain myself in six months when the depositions come out because that would not age well. Deddy joke following the age wel joke.
There were so many jokes. I'm looking at the pitch doc now. There are some hundreds hundreds of jokes that we use. I mean, not all are good, obviously, but there's a bunch of ones that are good that we didn't get to use and we'll never get to use because we're not going to see the Patriots and the Jets again, and we're not going to see these players again, and so it's just they're just gone.
And Aaron Rodgers like he's It was great having him in the game because he is culturally wide like widely known, even I know him and I but for Travis Kelsey didn't follow football at all, and didn't we say at one point he looks like an like a I don't even want to be mean, but he looks he looks older than he is. He looks like a wise old tree or something, which I couldn't use because it didn't it almost felt racist, even though he's white, Like I don't even know what to make of that, but it did.
It did hit me hard.
Yeah, God, that one's that one. We even put in the in the what do you.
Call him bro Rogan?
Oh? Yeah, we called him, uh Rogan was a great one, broke Yeah. And then there was one about you know what didn't make it that we could probably use again and who cares because the overlap between people who listen to this podcast and people who watch that is not too much and it's fine, is uh. The thing about the helmet, the the.
Helmet, Gudian helmet.
Okay, so one of the players is wearing a Guardian helmet, which is like a safer helmet. It has an extra padding and you look like he looks like the Epcot Center ball, Like it's like just a bigger ball around the head. And the only reason not everyone wears it is because it looks dumb. Yeah, and it also kind of looks like a condom, Like it's kind of like a put on, like you strap it around your helmet, so it looks like a it's like a cap and
it's called the Guardian cap. But we said, we said, it sounds like maybe people don't maybe players aren't wearing the Guardian cap because of the like the branding of it. Why don't you rename it Guardian cap? Sounds like something you win after you, like at Bible Camp because you read the most Bible Like it was something about that kest or something yeah, yeah, yeah, And then there were some good jokes about that Guardian cap. So well maybe if there's even one player that uses it as well.
It's just so funny to me that there's something that could make the sport way safer, but they don't wear it because they might look kind of gay.
It's ridiculous.
It's really funny to me. But does it get in the way of playing and all? Like, is there another reason they're.
Not all wearing It might be some people who say, you know that it's on the margins, but it slightly affects my speed or something like that.
Sure, but doesn't a little towel hanging off your waist also affect your speed? Like there's a lot of little things cool.
It's so cool to take off the towel throat behind you.
So much about their braids when they are dreads hanging out, I'm like, oh my god, do they get because as someone who has.
Hair and brains at first is like, yeah, that's the biggest one.
Yeah, No, they're braids when they're hanging off the out and like even like, uh, you know George Kittle with like long hair, who I said, I looked like, any like put up your hair. I'm so scared of your hair getting ripped out. But I guess guys just like don't care. Because I asked Chris, I was like, are there ever a dread that's like pulled out? And he's like, oh, yeah, it happens a lot, Like you know that would hurts so bad. Yeah, And it's like so much hair in one dread.
Also, players who have dreads their helmets fall off a lot easier. I've noticed. Oh yeah, because the dreads are so big that like the helmet can't stay on. Okay, but I gotta imagine in a way the dreads are kind of like a guardian helmet on the inside.
Oh, I think it would be a lot more padding, because yeah, that's a really good point.
They should do a study.
So if they invert the padding, wouldn't that just be more safe And then they could just do the regular shell of the helmet.
What they should do is they should take a helmet and then just put dreads on the outside. There we go, so then it's cool and safe.
It's like those ski helmets that used to have like the like they have like yeah, oh yeah, it's going off like almost like what's his name from Simpson's Noah Sideshow Bob? Thank you, thank you, Lauren. Did you know that in football only all the offense or only all the defense were on the field at the same time,
like for one team? Yeah, you knew that, like if the team was on like a team on the field, it's only all of the offense like offense and defense and aren't ever on the same Oh no, I did not. I didn any because why would we because basketball has both, soccer has hockey has both.
Other sports teams to have both, they don't know.
And it would make sense that a game has offense and defense yang against each other.
Someone told me that that's why Donna Kelce when her sons were both playing against each other, she said, who are you rooting for? And she said the offense, because they're both. They're never on the same there, So it was just someone explained some bestie explained that to me. But I didn't know that, and I felt real dumb. But I had a feeling you didn't either. We have the same gaps and knowledge.
All the good news about the Jets game is that it was a blowout, and so the viewership dipped precipitously by the end of the game, and so therefore very few people saw the post game as compared to previous weeks when it's close or there's a controversy.
When there's a blowout, okay, and what is a blowout? I mean, what were we looking out at halftime? What was the score?
Halftime score? It was probably like fourteen seven point?
Are you smirking because you're thinking about blowouts? Like like when Toby shit back?
Like I saw that smirk too, Like there's definitely someone's thinking about shit just squirting out of the back of the hyper Oh baby, blowouts.
Okay, So wait, so a blowout?
What was it was fourteen to three at halftime, and then they scored early again in the third quarter, so then it was twenty one to three. And on top of that, the Patriots offense looked terrible like they weren't doing anything.
So okay, so just the writing was on the wall. Yeah, because for me, I'm thinking, oh, well, this, I would stay watching because I'm like the Patriots they could come back and it could be an amazing game if they come back. But that's just so unlikely.
I mean, if it was Tom Brady's Patriots, then that could that could easy.
And that could yeah because he was like always in the fourth quarter would kind of turn things around, right, Yeah, But.
This was Jacoby Bursett, who is a good guy, but yeah, he's a backup. He's a great he really is, but he's like a backup quarterback. He's a journeyman. And you know they had this other quarterback, Drake May and the wings who came in in the fourth quarter and he was fine.
Wait, you know who I saw who I'm obsessed with that we saw walking in and I forget his name and I'm so sorry. Yeah Joe, it was Joe. No, no, no, not him, the guy who said he was doing a press conference and he sneezed and he said, he goes, bless.
You, thank you.
He blessed himself and thanked himself. And I ever since I've seen it, I do it every single time I sneeze, I say bless you, thank you to my mouth because of him. And then I saw him and was like, oh my God, like he's blessed you, thank you, And I almost got scared saying it. Because I thought he might know that I was talking about him. But have you ever seen that meme? Morn the guy? Oh my god,
it's so cute. He's so he doesn't even know he's saying it like it's kind of I don't know if it was memed, but it was clipped and it's like it was everywhere for a while of just like him just going bless you, thank you. So yeah, me and the boys like and he gets right back into it, but he doesn't even know. He's not trying to be funny.
He oh, it's it's Quinn Williams.
Yeah, okay, yeah, keep playing. It's so adorable, dedication of different, It's so adorable. I love him so much. Oh god. I went over to Lauren's house yesterday, had some time off, and I approached the door and I just heard screaming inside, like screaming and crying. And I walked and I, you know, rang the doorbell and I think your doorbell doesn't work. And then I knocked and then you answered, and I go,
oh my god, this is a bad time. And you were like why and I'm like, because there's screaming crying, And she goes, oh no, this is just what it is, and I just loved that moment. So what you're like, no, what, like you didn't even hear it? Why would you expect anything different over it? It was like you were so used to it. And uh yeah, Forrest was crying because and Arlow was just under a blanket not coming out. I didn't know what child was under there. It was
just there's a lot going on over there. It's but the kids are back at school right now, they are. Yeah, that's so nice.
Oh yeah, it's so nice. Just have a little breather to myself.
It's not that it's not long enough of a breather. What is it like eight to two, nine to three?
It's not. Well, the youngest one is nine, the other kids are seven thirty and then till five because they're in afterca.
Oh well that's great, that's a good break.
Hell yeah, it's really nice.
Yeah.
The three just comes up way too fast.
Yeah. God, I used to get out of school two nineteen. My parents were devastating.
Do you think we screamed a lot of kids or is is it a boy thing?
You think, oh, poppies screams more than the boys.
Really, But were we screaming a lot.
We hadn't think we were.
I don't think kids understand how loud they can be.
No, they don't. They don't, And kids are kids are cool because they put up with a lot of loudness. Like Arla was watching TV and we were having a full blown conversation as he was trying to watch his favorite TV show, and at one point he was like, you guys are talking a little too loud, and I was like, you're so right. This is so rude. You're trying to watch a show and we're just like talking over you.
Their tolerance for noise, Yeah.
It's it's wild. So yeah, I wonder if we did. We can't really talk about our childhood anymore on this podcast because we have sneaky listeners who.
Are listening to tell them like what we were there.
They're telling you, yeah, yeah, there. My mom's quote unquote friends are listening to the podcast and then telling her you don't want to listen to today's podcast. Their Lorne and Nikki really went hard on you. And so then we find out that my mom's upset about something she doesn't even know, she hasn't even heard, but someone's listening. And I just gotta say if you're listening, lady, I don't even know who you are. I don't know what friend this is, but I think your intentions are wrong.
I think you're listening to this podcast to find things to then say to my mom because you're jealous. You're jealous that her daughters are having fun and that they're successful in what they do and they're good kids, and you need to find some way to make what Julie Glazer has with her kids bad because you're jealous of it. And that's just my take because why else would you rat Why would else would you say to your friend that her daughters are talking shit about her? Like that
is so rude. Even if we were, which we weren't. We love our mom so much. We were just complaining in a natural, easy, average way. That you complain about your parents with your sibling, ye with your sibling on air on a podcast, just like you do, and public mother for all the rel rat out like that is so uncool. I know it's like new to you. Person who listened that, like you probably never had a friend whose daughters are talking about her on a podcast.
But also it was embellish, I think what was told. But yeah, dad was like you said some bad things about Mom, and I was.
Like what, And I'm like, I really was, like, why would someone do that?
He couldn't even relay it, so I know, I.
Just think you're not a good friend. You're not looking out for my mom. If you were, you would not tell her things that might upset her or like she has a great relationship with her daughters.
Curry you know, and be like, look, I'm on your side. I'm telling you these secrets.
Which there would be no sides if Mom didn't know we were saying anything because Mom doesn't listen to the podcast, so but she.
Doesn't get an informant on the other side.
No, I just think, and I've been guilty of it too. I want to upset someone when I'm jealous of their life, a weaker version of myself, when I'm jealous of their life and they seem to have a thing that they have taught, like I'm sure like Mom's life is enviable. She gets to go to the Emmys, she gets to like have a famous dog, like that could be in
some service. Enviable Mississippi, you have exactly. She gets to go on a podcast, she gets to go on a boat down the Misissippi River begrudgingly because her husband doesn't hear her when she says she doesn't want to, but she gets a twenty percent off that excursion. Yeah, yeah, yesterday. Okay. But I could just see a world in which I if I was jealous of someone and my kids weren't doing as well, or maybe I didn't like have as splashy of a family, and that was a thing that
is maybe important to me, and I envied. I would then try to listen to find some some evidence for why, Oh, I'm glad I don't have this because at least my kids are not a podcast.
So sad that people have and you know, not saying that this is your mom, but people have these people in their lives and they're considered friends.
It's crazy. Like when I hear people talking shit about my friends, I do not tell my friends about it. And it's happened to be before, but like, I don't I know that there's like, I'm sorry, I was looking out for my friend. Were you were you really gonna like be a like are you just trying to stir up drama?
You're just making them feel bad about themselves.
I'm just telling I don't want to know anything that bad that's being said about me. Literally, ever, I'm gonna put that out there to any bestie, any like anything you read about me where you're like, they got you wrong, you defend me on your own time, do not tell me about it. I don't want to know, because ignorance is fucking bliss.
Ignorance is bliss. And also, when people talk shit, I think most people don't even really care about the subject of their ire. I think they just want to release some bitterness into the world because I feel bitter. It doesn't have anything to do with the person. So you taking that trash talk and delivering it to the subject is a total waste of time because not only does it make your friend feel bad, but the person who said it probably doesn't even really mean it.
Yes, and yeah, because anyone I'm at a bad moment, even me and Lauren talking trash about my mom on the podcast was probably from a place of us feeling insecure about something and needing to like blame something that's going on wrong in our lives on our childhood and being like, that's why that's why we're like this, this thing that I don't like about myself I'm gonna blame my mom for yelling at me when I was a kid once, like it all comes from a dumb place.
I actually just found the TikTok it showed up for me again or the real that like really was helping me for so long and still does. When I remember it was about like it was just some manifestation girl talking about what if you let everyone off the hook for everything? I thought again, and I was like, I needed this reminder so much. It's so good because when you're complaining about something, you're giving it energy to keep going, and like it it fuels the thing that's irritating you,
like when you complain about it. Although I love complaining and I love talking shit, and it is a way to connect with people. It is a way to like forge friendships, and those friendships are based on bullshit, but it's still something.
I mean, me and else my best friend Rob, who will talk about anything, Like one of our favorite things to do is to talk shit, and that's a real friendship.
And same thing with me and my best friend Rob. Yeah, we always talk shit.
Sometimes you're just like, you know, you just want to like shit on someone who's succeeding because whatever you feel like you deserve X, Y Z and and just get you just need to get it out.
Whenever there's someone in comedy that's being talked about a lot and shit on a lot, like we all know the names Brian. Oh yeah, it's those people have been around for so long, no one's talking shit about them until they start becoming famous.
Yeah.
Therefore, it is one hundred percent fueled from a jealousy place. Or it could be like a frustration with the world. Why is this person being uplifted that doesn't deserve it, and it's like bad for humanity, I guess, But generally we're fucking jealous. And people that you just to admit when they're jealous, I think it's really embarrassing. I bet my mom would be so mad you said that my friend was jealous that I have a famous daughter. That's rude,
but she probably is. I would be. I totally would be if I had a daughter that wasn't doing much and then I, like, you know, or like someone who was dating the guy who's dealing weed and you know, just it is getting a new tattoo every month, and that's my daughter. I'm dealing with borrowing money from me, and then I'm looking at my friend. I don't even I'm not even talking about someone specifically, I'm just imagining.
And then I'm looking at my friend who has a daughter that's like seems to be happy and thriving, which I'm not. All the time. You don't know the whole story. It's probably why you listen to the podcast to get evidence that I'm not doing that well. But you try to find evidence for why that's not a good life. Yeah, and that's why people make I've said it before, that's why shaming people for cringe things is a thing, because you're jealous that you aren't going to be that free
with yourself. And so when someone's really free doing something that's like ew, that's cringe, you need to create evidence for why you don't do that. Yeah, And the evidence you're creating is you making fun of it. And so you go, oh, if I do that, people will make fun of it because I'm making fun of this. So you create the own evidence to keep perpetuating you being ashamed of yourself and being too scared to actually like put yourself out there and take your.
Cat's exactly right, you know what you're that's the second, like difficult concept to uh, to speak about that you've said in the last few weeks. I think you also very clearly explained why undecided voters are undecided voters. And this is the second time I'm like, yes, you put into words this feeling I had about why people.
Do something well, because I had to ask myself, I'm like, why do I make Why am I saying things are cringe? Why am I like sending anya like a video of a girl that I'm kind of jealous of. If I really examine it and go like, oh, this is such a bad look. It's not because I want to do
what that girl's doing. It might be a bad look, it might be a totally terrible take and a bad joke, and she looks stupid, But I do really envy her ability to post it and to not give a fuck that people might be sharing it and making fun of her behind her back, which and maybe maybe she doesn't care because she doesn't even think people are doing that. Maybe she's just stupid and thinks what she did is cool.
Then I envy that, sure, uh, And I think that cringe just keeps us in a place of stagnation and like not trying new things that might make us look stupid, and so kind of catch yourself when you're calling something cringe, and let's try not to call things out that much that are because it's just everyone's just trying to get by.
Yeah, and cringe is such like a high school sentiment anyway, Like if you're in YOURU, if you're twenty five and above, cringe is over.
It should be.
I feel like it just is making a comeback.
I know. The word definitely is cringe.
Cringe is cringe. Yeah, cringe is a cringe thing to say. If someone says cringe, that is cringe.
Even kid, cringe even could like people they're just trying to be loved. And we talked about it before. But seriously, don't be kid. We'll be right back after this.
So I have a connection to I sent you this picture over the weekend, a text picture of podcast favorite Rodney Thomas the second. Oh that's right, Yeah, I was.
You were at a game this weekend.
Yeah, not to bring it back to football, but this is related to the podcast. Me and Ali, my wife, went to Indiana after the Thursday night football game to go see the Colts versus the Bears because I'm a Colts fan and she's a Bears fan. They only play each other once every like four or five years.
Ahead.
Yeah, oh one the Colts. Okay, Yeah, it was a good game. But we because it's Colts versus Bears, it only happens once every five years. We got like tickets in like the second row, and it was like the most unbelievable. It was so cool to be that close. I could I couldn't believe how like these guys were so close. And then I took this. I saw Rodney Thomas.
She was for him.
I called out for him, but he didn't. He didn't respond. He didn't play that much either. But yeah, because Rodney Thomas, we interviewed on the Super Bowl Radio Row podcast. It was on the Sideline Fun. So one of my goals throughout the game was to actually have an interaction with one of the players. Yeah, and I succeeded there. Well, so there. It's because because Chicago is so close to Indianapolis, there was a lot of Bears fans in the audience. Like I would say, it was like fifty to fifty.
That's fun.
Yeah, And so when the you know, during certain times in the game, you might have like cheers or booze for your team, and when you're the home team, you expect the Colts, you know, the home team, to get those cheers and booze. But in this instance, like the Bears were getting all these cheers and the Colts players on the sideline were like turning around, like looking at
the audience like what the fuck is this? Like this is our stadium and all these Bears fans are here cheering for the Bears and booing for us.
Yeah.
So then I saw, specifically Taekwon Lewis, who's a defensive player on the Colts. I saw he was particularly upset and it seemed like he wanted to talk to somebody about it. So I saw you're in so I was like, all right, I'm gonna have it in here. So I went, I said, hey, Taye kwand Taie kwand go out there and shut these Bears fans up. Yes, yeah, And then he went, there's two fucking many of them. And then he went out in the field.
Yes, he did a connection.
He didn't needn't feel good at it. Yeah, it was so cool. And I looked you around.
So for a fact, if you asked him about that guy today he would remember.
That guy, that's right. And then I start floating into the air. I was so happy I went up in the sky.
So fun. That's like when Daven Matthews waved to me when I was in the sixteenth row in two thousand and one, and I swore he waved to me, and it feels so good to get a wave. Yeah. Everyone was leaving the place and he kind of was on the side of the stage, still waving to people, and I was just like on top of my chair and I just saw him kind of like to me, and I, oh, it was just miraculous. I mean nothing like that because you actually interacted. That's so cool.
I mean I thought, so cool.
Did you ever interact with anyone that you went to go see? I think so didn't you go backstage with like Gavin de Graus or something.
I like I met him after the show.
Yeah, like, how did that happen?
He was just like outside like signing.
Really.
Yeah. This was when he was like.
I don't want to be anything. No, this was when he was a big deal. I guess that's pretty cool. That's I think it's to be me. Yeah, and then he had like a couple great hits.
I thought Gavin Dear is like a country singer.
No, no, he's not. What was I just gonna say? Walk? Oh? I wanted to get your read on the smell I'm wearing.
Oh oh, oh, I haven't noticed it?
You haven't I doused. I didn't doubt. I just did one sprits. It's Taylor Swift's new perfume.
I smell of it.
Yeah, you want to just come smell my body here it.
Is, She's smelling you smell room.
Yeah, you like it. Mom said Taylor would never wear that.
It's subtle. Yeah, florally it's.
Not okay good.
I don't know if we described it as sandal would yes.
Oh yeah, yeah, I like it, eybe it's just your hair, Nikki.
Oh it could be. I did just put on like a hair oil. I'm doing a TikTok right now where I'm going through everything that I own that is a Taylor Swift purchase, not a tailor Swift merchandise, but like things that she owns that I've bought. And it's a lot of stuff and I just sprayed it for the video, and I will say that my but I just did get a lot of new Taylor Swift merches I was talking about on the pod a couple of weeks ago.
It just arrived and there's like eight things. And it's so funny because two weeks ago, when I was in LA with Emily, she was like, Hey, why don't we try one week no tailor Swift merchandise, like not wearing us. And I was like, well, I've got some bad news for you because I just ordered like eight new sweatshirts. She's like, Nikki, my god. Oh, and she's trying to break me of wearing the merchandise. And she got in my head about flares. She was like, no more flares.
She had a couple of notes on my award.
Is that why you just gave me some flares?
Yes, I about them because I think they're still cute. But I'm just like, you know, when one person gets in your head of us something like it's not cool anymore. Yeah, I'm just like.
I'm stylist saying none of that.
Well, I still have my black flares. But she didn't say greens. I just gave you the green ones I already did. Was like flared leggings, Okay, final thought, Yeah, flared leggings not in anymore. Apparently this is what we're just to do with your leggings. And I told her I will not be doing this. I said, Emily, I'm not in my twenties, Like it's ridiculous for a forty year old woman to dress like this. But she was like, what you need is She was like joggers. And I
was like, okay, how do you wear joggers? She was like, I don't want to see your ankle ever exposed. She was like, you should never have your ankle exposed. It's your Nikiy glazer. And I was like wait, and she zoomed in on a picture she had of me and my ankle. She was like, we never want to see this part of you. It wasn't insulting. She was being funny. She was like, this is not fashion, Like this is
you don't need. You're like, you're above this. Look right now, and she was right like they were some high water like it was like a body suit thing I was wearing. It was not good, but it was my airport attire. But she has a good point of like at the airport. She didn't say this, but at the airport you are seen like more than ever, like you're seen by like lots of people.
Lots of pictures of people are at the airport.
That's a good point. So she was like, you have to wear joggers. And then she was like, and then you get socks. This is what blew my mind. You put your socks over the jogger.
Damn did you hear me?
You tuck your jogger into the sock. And I said, I will not be doing that. That is too intentional. That is to me, trying to do like to act like I'm fucking Tate McCrae or something. I can't. I'm not Addison Ray or Madison Beer or any of these. I can't be twenty something like you might see an ankle. I'll wear a jogger, but I'm not. I can't tuck my jogger in. Have you heard of this trend?
I've seen it, but in high school students. I don't think I saw that in high school students. But just like the you know, the tube.
Socks, yes, but tucking your pants into them.
Well, what else are you gonna do with them?
Put your put the sock off and then put the pant over it.
That.
Yeah, I feel like that would look worse. Wait, what do you mean that would look worse? That is the natural, Like your sock is a tight thing. Your pant is like a less tight thing. It should go on top with the sock. Your sock is like gonna be.
Outside elongates the ankle. The sock on the inside shortens it.
But you're like tucking in your pants into the sock, like.
Saying it's a sensation that you don't it's unnatural.
It doesn't it's it's not good, but I will be trying it. I'm trying to think of other things. She told me. Oh she she said, oh, I think I said this last week. But she's making me get a new backpack. She said, no more backpacks? Is Emily my social media girl? Oh gen z yeah, gen ZM. So gen ZM told that's great, thank you. We now have a name for her that I don't have to say
social media measures. Gen ZM told me and Nikki, no more backpack And I'm like, but I backpacks are great, and she was like, well, just not your backpacks.
And she's right.
They are like dirty and brown and they look like they're just They've always been gifted to me. I've never like picked out a backpack that was like intentionally stylish, but she wants me to get a go yard bag and they're literally three thousand dollars and I am not buying a three thousand dollars tote I just can't.
It's not a backpack, it's a big tote bag.
And then I just saw a fucking thing on on on Instagram that's from like New York magazine or some kind of like culture like The Cut or something, you know, fashion magazine that said on the runway, big tote bags are out. So I was about to drop three thousand dollars on something that's gonna be out in like a couple months.
Follow I mean, it sucks being you because you are like in the spotlight. People are gonna judge you by what you wear. But it's just like, you can't follow fashion. It's impossible. It's a bunch of assholes making up bullshit in some tower in France, and we have to follow what they say, follow it. Every five minutes they come up with a new rule. It's impossible. It's like a dog being tortured in that experiment, you know, right.
Answer, Liking like fashion is like whatever you're comfortable in, Like if you like it, then it's good. Like there are some people that go off of that rule, and I like Taylor Swift merchandise, and I like, there are some things that are comfortable that I hate and I look like shit in and I I'll give that to you.
But I just, well, you would think if you just follow Taylor Swift, you'd be correct because she is a fashion though. Oh well, what about this. You're buying clothes that she wears.
Yeah, that that is. I do stand by that, and every piece of clothing I wear that she wears. I never doubt it's coolness. But otherwise I am just it's it really is. It's tough out there to be stylish, Lauren. I brought over a trunk of clothing to Lauren yesterday and she walks in today and two pieces of it she put together an outfit that I could have never put together in a million years. That's why I gave you those two things, because I'm like, I don't even
know what to do with these two things. And you put together this Abercrombie, what's the what's the button up shirt? Oversize button up? With these nice shorts designer shorts that I got that are like denim shorts and it's so cute. But you're just good at putting things together. Actually, this is so basic, it is and that, which was the simplest thing, is like so confusing to me. I could not do it.
But you always look so great.
That's really nice of you. I'm beginning to trust your judgment or untrust your judgment.
But do you put your stage wear together or do you have someone styling you when you're.
Put my stage wear together? And that's that's easy, because that's but that's easy because let me tell you why get a white boot get a white booty, get a pair of black booties, and then just get a dress. Dresses are already styled for you. There's no top, there's no bottom, there's no jacket. You're just in a fucking dress. And so to fuck up a dress you have to really do something bad. Jewelry or shoes. Shoes can be tough.
But like, if you do like a white booty, you're kind of good to go for a lot of stuff, and then like a black like pump and you're kind of in the clear. But that's that's why I like. I like dressing for stage because it's first of all, it's far away so the audience can't really see it, and you can go a little bit crazier because it's on stage, and because it's a dress. Is the When a woman's wearing a dress, it doesn't always mean she's
trying to dress up. It might mean she's lazy as fuck because it is a full outfit in one thing that you don't have to think about too much. Do you a greenoa? That's true, But people, when you wear dresses, they're always like, oooh someone's dress. I hate, I hate, I hate it to it. It discourages women from wearing dresses, and women who are jealous of women wearing dresses. Stop
saying some, oh you look fancy. You're either boring and you have nothing interesting to say, or you're jealous of a girl's wearing dress and you are a shamed of your legs or something. So just don't be ashamed of your legs and wear dress too. You can wear dress too, bitch. Stop making people feel like they're overdressed or going oh, someone's ooh fancy. It is shaming. It's not nice, and no one feels good after hearing that.
Ever, if you've got nothing to say, just say it's pretty cold outside, and.
It's so true. It is. That'll serve you for the next few months. It's pretty cold outside, yeah in the most Yeah, it's getting cold. The weather's been weird. That will last you forever.
Oh yeah, you can always say the weather, I mean, especially these days.
Yeah, that's just tried and true. This weekend, I'm going to Vegas. I'll be there with David Spade. Mom and dad are coming out for one night. Halla's going to be there, I think with her parents for one night. And also Tim, Chris's brother is opening those shows over the weekend. It's going to be a lot of family hang which will be good.
What you said, you're saying, Dave David Spade, Oh David Spade okay, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, So he'll be there, Dave Matthews band, Oh I wish, yeah, but i'll But I was going at the Sphere.
Maybe you could catch a show.
I would go see see No, no, Matthews wouldn't be paying at the Spirit.
There's a rumor going around that Vegas rumor that maybe Lady Gaga is going to do this Sphere.
Oh I would die, she would kill it. Yeah, I would go see that show. But I, yeah, I wouldn't. The Sphere show that I saw during the day. I did recommend Halla go see that with her parents because she's like, look at this dumb thing my mom and dad want to go see and I go. Actually, she was like, I'd much rather like, don't get to Sphere unless you're going to go see a concert. And I was like, have you ever heard my podcast? Do not
go to the Sphere for a concert? Go for the that that exact show the I forget who made it? The director are yeah, yeah, that it was so good. Go see that in Vegas. It's during the day, it won't take up your whole life.
And plenty of time to get back to the tables.
It's awesome. And then I'm going to I think we'll be in La next week, so that'll be fun to do.
The show together.
That's right. Noah, you're going to be there. What are you doing there?
I'm just there visiting family.
Oh nice, is your babe coming.
Baby's coming, other babies come on?
Oh my god?
Will we get to meet her?
Yeah, as long as you have time, because your schedule is the one that's really busy.
It's a little it's a little pack but it's not true.
Yea babies first Arowon?
Oh yeah, yeah, no one. I went to Arawon one time. Have you ever been airwe Line? You know about though?
Fun game to play at Arowon. How much does this cost?
Yeah? I go around a loose bag of kale.
Yeah.
No, there are some things if you really want the full Arowon experience. Well, first of all, Arowon is great for people watching, but you have to go to specific ones, like there's one in Culver City now and it's normal people. But if you go to the one in like West Hollywood, that Arawon is like, if you want to see some cringe influencers, we're all trying too hard with their hats or whatever they do, go to Arowon.
Well, if they're all there to get the Haley Bieber smoothie that's like forty six bucks or something. No, thank you, I'm not smoothie gal, are you?
I like smoothies?
But I think I just saw one article that was like they're just sugar bombs, and I have never been able to do it again.
So much is the problem?
Oh yeah, Well depends what you put in it. If you make like a green smoothie with I have a smoothie every morning I get. I see that it is sugar bombs if you put too much fruit in it.
Yeah, like John Baduze hates to get all the time.
Oh yeah, that's just sugar. Too much sugar milkshake.
Yeah. Yes.
It is hard though to you know, mix vegetables into your smoothie because it makes it tastes like shit. But I know that my smoothie is not too sugary because it tastes terrible.
Oh yeah, yeah, that's if it's Yeah, if you have to gulp it down and kind of hold your nose to do it.
Yeah, that's a good I've gotten used to it now over the years. But it doesn't taste good. And when people see me making it, like my dad or somebody, He's like, that doesn't look like the right color, And I'm like, yeah, because it tastes like shit. Down.
Yeah, you recommended something to Chris spiral leen or whatever.
Yeah, it's very good for you. It's good protein, it's earthy, but it makes your smoothie really green, like a deep rich screen, like you've dug into the moss of the field.
Is it? So it tastes like that's the way beats taste. They taste like the ground.
Yeah smells. Yeah.
I'm going out to dinner tonight. You're going there too, Yeah, Yeah, we're gonna go to dinner. I invited my mom out to dinner last night, and she turned me down because she wanted to watch Real Housewives alone. And I was like, oh, I could come over and watch hacks with your new TV and she was like, I really just want to watch Real Housewives and I knew. I knew this would happen. So she hangs up and then, which was fine because like, I get wanting to watch the show that you want
to watch, and you just want to be alone. My dad was going out to play tennis or something. She's like had this whole night planned of like being alone, and like yeah, and she's like, I'm sorry, Nick, I will do it another And I was like it's not a big deal, Like I was just an offer whatever. And I hang up the phone and I was at Lauren and Matt's and I was like, I bet you anything. She's gonna call back because Dad's gonna be like, why won't you watch TV with Nick? And she calls me back,
I missed it. I called her back twice. She didn't pick up. She missed me, Michael, but lord I got I got a text from her when I got back to my house. What do you think?
The tech said, Uh, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to sound like I didn't want to hang out. Come on over.
What do you think? The first three words were, hey, Nick, no like blank blank blank? I blank blank? I feel bad? Yes, I feel bad. I can watch some hacks with you. I don't have to watch Real Housewives. I can't even remember some episodes. I go. Let me guess Dad made you feel bad because you had a boundary. You're allowed to want to watch what you want to watch and be alone. I'm not mad, and you don't need to
be feel bad because I'm not upset. I'm not really interested in making you feel bad about things you want to do or things you don't want to do. Good job, And then she goes, no, he didn't, he didn't make me feel bad. I mean it, come on out. I go, I'm already home. But thank you. Sorry, I said, don't be I don't care. I said I don't care. I mean that, I mean it's not that I don't care, but I'm not hurt. Okay, you're so sweet. How are the kids? I said they were feverish, so a little bratty,
but ultimately great, no offense. And she goes, oh, and I go, look what I saw outside Lauren's house. So I wanted to share this with besties because I said it to Noah and Brian. I like went on a TI rade yesterday about how like I can't I get really anxious about moving, and I realized why. It's because I don't like watching movers have to like sweat and
like finaga with their bodies. Yeah, and I saw two men ruining their bodies trying to get this stove up these steps, and it is It was the most painstak coming I've ever.
Watched stove upsteps so.
Much, and I just wrote them triggered and I said things, this guy's struggling with the stove and she goes, I kind of don't like that. I like watching housewives. I said, then watch something else, or just enjoy what you like. I guess my problem is that I end up watching different ones and I can't stand some of them, and then I'm mad that I just wasted my time watching it. Going to watch Frontline that I like, oh my god, it's about Trump. It's good and Kamala, and I said,
I hate watching him. I can't. I this is true. I didn't realize that I don't watch Donald Trump talk ever. Like I'm not kidding you. The second he starts talking, I whip away from it. I don't watch anything on TV. I asked people to change the channel. I know that
about myself just in day to day. I didn't know that I'd literally not heard him talk for more than maybe two sentences for over six years, now eight years, because definitely it started in twenty sixties, so it's eight years until I watched the debate the other night and I heard him talk for like, you know, because I was I was like, I gotta watch the debate. I just have to, Nikki. I know you don't want to, but you would do it. And I was laughing so
hard because he's such an idiot. And I was laughing. I was like, Chris, I can't believe what he just said. And I was quoting him and he's like, yeah, where have you been? This way he talks. I'm like, I realize I have not heard anything he said. I've only read quotes because I don't. Well, I avoid it. So if you really want to, you can truly sit out anyone you want. If I'm able to sit out the most loud person and not hear anything they've said. Because
the other night, sorry to keep the show going. The other night, Bill Dixon, my friend, was talking about how his Twitter is just filled with like people dying and like people getting shot or you know, people you know, touching the third rail and being electrocuted, someone's head being cut off. Like it's just like so, and I go,
you don't need to watch it. He was like, no, it just shows up and I just and I go, no, you don't we you could, I go, Bill, you don't need to be watching beheadings or like people dying.
Why is that coming up on his feet?
Because that's what comes up on people's feeds a lot, and because he's watched it and it gets.
He's engaging with it, so it's coming up even more.
He might but he's he's blaming he can go, go go he's he he made it sound like he's like being forced to watch these things, and I'm like, no, you actually it is true that what is being served to you on your as you scroll is based on like they're trying to target you, and they're trying to put things in front of your face. You don't need to watch them. I scroll past things all the time, very quickly because I don't want to see what I think is about to happen. Yeah, and so stop making.
You don't have to open you don't.
I've never open Twitter. I I have thousands and thousands of follow I've hundreds of thousands of followers, maybe close to a half of mil I don't even know. But I don't go on there anymore because it's a fucking cesspool. Like, don't make don't say to me that you're stressed out, because all the things you're reading, you get to curate it.
You don't have to pay it. And as soon listen, I was getting tons of baby stuff sent to me because I was sending it to Noah and Kirsten, and it got to the point where I was like, it's almost shaming me for not having a baby, and I don't want any of this shit anymore, Like it's not helping me. I don't need to know how to swaddle a baby. I don't need to have to know how to make a baby. Stop crying, and so I went to the top of the little dot dot dot and
I said, stop send sending me this content. I don't like the content I'm getting and you.
Can now it just.
Now. Yeah, now it sends me cats. Uh no, it's you can really tell it not to. So don't act like you're a victim to what's being put up in front of you. Do not watch violence. Do not keep like feeding this into your brain. It's really bad for your brain. If Trump makes you mad, don't watch him. Yeah, like that, Like, I know you got to pay attention at some point, but read about it, like, don't walk like just just Bill being like, man, I've got I see so much violence all the time. I'm like, because
you're watching it just and he's like, no, what's showing up? Nothing, just starts playing right away violently. You truly have to wait and watch it, So scroll past.
That's my advice.
Thanks for listening, don't be care come see my show, Theekyglazer dot Com slash tour for tour and moreen thank you for being here and making my wardrobe look way better than it had ever lived. One's honestly upsetting. We'll see you next week.
Bye.
The Kiglazer Podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Podcasts. Created and hosted by me Nicki Glazer, co hosted by Brian Frangie. Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonny and Noah Avior. Edited it engineered by Lean and Loaf, video production Mark Canton and music by Anya Marina. You can now watch full episodes of the Nicky Glazer podcast on YouTube, follow at Nicki Glazer Pod and subscribe to our channel