#474 Age Gaps, Caviar Bumps & Julie Cuts A Rug!

The Nicky Glaiser Podcast.

Glaser, here's Nikki.

Hello, here, I am welcome to the show. It's Nicky Glazer Podcast. Same group as yesterday's show. We got Brian Frangie Hello, we got Sean O'Connor.

Wearing clothes, we got.

Noah in Arizona, and we got my mother, Julie Glazer.

Thank you, Nikki.

Yeah, thanks for being speaking of clothes.

So we didn't really talk too much about like the details of the parties yesterday. But I want to know how Julie felt getting glam She was all glammed up.

I know, I got her hair and makeup done by Ayah who got that necklace from Richard Simmons.

Yeah, she did a great job, she really did. I actually I'm not used to getting glammed, so I was kind of looking in the mirror going, I don't know.

Yeah, she freaked out at first because we didn't have We don't have mirrors right in front of us, which were used to having when you're getting your lamb dune, so you can kind of slowly see your face turn into the face you don't recognize because it's so much hotter than your normal face. And she also did your makeup in a different way because you've just been winging it for fifty fifty makeup. Yeah, you don't at all still at this age, even though you wear it all

She didn't give me dark enough eyebrows.

Oh that's right, but they went too far down the side, drew them down the sides, and you didn't like that.

Yeah, I mean it was a lot for my face. And then my hair was like glued to my head, yes, which I don't normally.

But that's why I kept telling you, like, that's why I gave you Leah because she is. It's really nice to have a make hair and makeup person that or anyone that doesn't take it personally. When you tell them she was you don't like kind can we do? And she's like, oh yeah, and she show it to you straight up, like we can't do that, We can't fix that. You don't have any hair.

No, No, she didn't know.

She's very nice, but I think you looked so awesome and I made my outfit. She yeah, my mom made her outfit. So the night of the DNC, during like the big night of the DNC, we were watching on the couch and I got a text from my mom right after Michelle Obama's speech that was like, I'm making that outfit.

What do you think?

She loved it so much that she was like, I'm gonna make it, and we didn't. You weren't even planning to go to the Emmys at that point. You were just making it for your life.

No, I just wanted to make it, and then you gave me this opportunity to like wear it, and I'm like, I'm making.

It and I don't know this is how did you make it? So?

Anyway, what it is?

Bestie's pull up? Michelle Obama.

It's made by this company, these designers months M O N S. And they're just really cool designers. I looked it up and I'm like, wow, I love their statement. It's to kind of taking a man's suit and taking it apart and just kind of feminizing it.

Deconstructing, deconstructing it a men's like men's.

Blazer suit suit, an actual suit.

And what and then there's the belt.

I made the bell. Yeah, it was like a vest suit. That was like, oh, it was really cool. It was actually that a jacket. I took the sleeves off and then made a bell.

You kept saying that Dad would be commenting on She's worked probably sixty hours on that.

Ye, well, I was taking time away from him. It's like, well, you're like thirty hours into that, and I'm like, that's not true.

You play guitar like hour, have a project. Yeah, no, he didn't like Dad's time.

No, you're not. You're messing up, thankress. Yeah, my meals aren't on the table at the right time. Democracy. Oh it was fun. I had fun making it.

Yeah, it looked great.

It was so so suiting.

Point.

I feel like if Michelle Obama saw it, like you just become her new design.

I was hoping she was going to be here.

You also, Dad reminded me last week that you saw j Lo's dressed to the Oscars in nineteen ninety nine or two thousand and you recreated that because my parents used to get invited to the can film That's still well for I think in two thousand and two thousand and one.

Three years in a row.

Okay, I remember one year. I was in ninety nine, two.

Thousand purpose cause of the invite.

Well, my husband, Nikki's father worked in the cable business and it was a gift.

Dear friend of him.

Bravo used to take.

They go a ways to take. We don't talk about that, so we say her story. But my dad and Harvey Weinstein used to be all chums. No, I think when I think of can early two thousands, I think of rape Harvey Weinstein story.

Well, I think of that too. I think that's probably they.

You did not want to be a missus my god?

No, were you going to see major star or the most famous young actress.

That seems to me.

No one's helped to get ahead if you don't want either anyway.

The other guy, the Italian guy who also from that era.

Oh used the guy the director, Yeah, oh god, you know this the director that's been a yeah yeah, Paulanski. Yeah, okay, issues with him too.

Yeah, but his issues. Yes, his wife died.

A good one.

Wait.

Someone was just talking about how oh I was on Bill Maher's podcast again and he was talking about how Charlie Chaplin was like famous for me marrying children like famously went after like twelve year olds, and I go, Bill, I haven't heard. Like I'm pretty well aware of cultural moments like that where it's like broken open, like this isn't who we thought it was. How did I miss that one? That one's still buried?

Yes? Oh my god, Like I assume.

You know about it because you are.

Yeah, Like, I'm like, that is like one of my only obsessions is like old comment Yes, kind of mine.

I'm fascinated, but I'm like, what the fuck these weirdos? So yeah, Charlie Chaplin, I haven't gotten into it. I just was anecdotal from Bill over the Weekend, but I couldn't believe it.

Did you know that?

No, no one talks about it.

Did you know that?

Man?

Well, I think I heard it. Didn't even marry someone very yet?

Well yeah, his last his last wife, I think Una Chaplain or Una O'Neill was g O'Neill's.

Daughter and thirty seven, right, he met her when she was like eleven. Yeah.

Disgusting, Yeah, disgusting.

Yeah, they gloss over that, dude.

I just that's so crazy.

I met your father when I was four.

I was gonna say that, but I didn't want to open up old.

Yeah, but dad very innocent.

Yeah, because my dad was best friends with her older brother.

Wow.

Oh yeah, oh yeah that part he was thirty. But how old are much older is dad that he's four and a half years Oh yeah, so he wash? Yeah.

Yeah, I'm older than Alley by like five years.

Do you ever notice the age got there?

Like?

No, because she she's a by far youngest sibling and a three sibling where she had two much older siblings, so she's all in everything.

Yeah, yeah, exactly, she is, Like, that'll do it.

She's best friends with your older brother. Yeah, and her and her older sister and they would just hang and talk about smash mouth or whatever the fuck.

Yes, popular to the.

Older generation, that's a really good point. How would say yeah for you and Aaron, she's a year older.

I've never dated somebody who was younger than me. Interesting, Actually that's not true. I did date this girl who was a year younger than me, and when she broke up with me, she told me the reason why she was breaking up with me is I was too young for her.

That's a good point, like and do you think you're attracted like women who were, but like you're older? Is your age?

Yeah, I know, but we're constantly just mocking her for being a year older like my son and I.

Yeah, you know, like we're ageist in our house.

I do like I do like that Chris is older than me, Like it does feel like okay, like there's something to it, like just knowing you have more life than someone else.

Same age until it's birthday.

But I do feel cool because I'm always like I'm a sophomore dating a senior. I like put it back to that, and then suddenly I'm the coolest girl. Like he was a cool guy senior too, Like my god, I was a dorky sophomore and I got the cool guy senior.

I mean he's still like a cool guy senior. He is like this is so cool.

Yeah, yeah, he's in the F one he knows a lot about Yeah, he is a cool guy. But so, yeah, your look was awesome. Did you have fun at the parties?

It's so much fun.

What were some highlights?

Uh?

I guess I was.

Well.

First of all, I got to eat caviar.

They do it. And you're right when you say yeah, you lick on your hand. Yeah, they put it on.

Yeah.

It's become very popular in La of doing caviar bumps because I think everyone God car out growing cocaine, so now.

The decadent thing that I guess that makes sense. It was delicious, it was really good caviar. I love caviar. But the other thing was that no napkins. It's like I just licked my hand and my face both bumps.

Yeah, it's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Your hand and they put fish eggs on it. Yeah, because of cocaine.

Yeah, yeah, I mean it's supposed to be like this.

I know. That's why we listen. The child sex room was it was empty. It was empty, Yeah, it was.

It was tucked away, good vibe in there though it was empty. It was just the karaoke room was empty. When I discovered it, my mom and I went on like So we were at the sand Fin Sunday Bungalows, which is actually Carlile Forster who has been on the show before Whose Girls Chat good friend. She works there, and she was like, I got your table tonight and she's like, it's gonna be so fun and you're sitting next to Conan and you're sitting next to all the

In timate, like like a courtyard courtyard.

Yes, pale in Yeah. And we sat at the table for a minute. Any highlights, yeah, John, oh yeah, Oh that was nice, Like was a Oliver Oliver Okay, sorry I had mind slipt there.

No, it was so cute. We're just standing there talking and I saw him look over here and I'm like, he's coming over here, he's coming he's dragging his wife or I mean, he went through bushes to get over to Nikki and he said, I just.

Wanted to I just turned around because Chris taps me is like hey, like, and I thought he's just gonna show me something, introduce me to someone. I just turned it. John Oliver right next to me. He's like, I just want to say, you know, great job, and it's great to see you like so nighe Oh my god, congratulations. I loved your speech. And his wife, I was like, I was obsessed with his I was hearing at his wife during the show, being like she's the prettiest girl ever.

You and and the Iraq war veteran that's right.

Yeah met her when she was a medic. Which side, Ye tell.

Me what they met because it's an interesting story.

It's like filming something for the Daily for the Daily Show, and then they were getting in trouble so she hid them like I love my general or something.

I don't know. I don't know how the army works.

Is that brogan on type movie?

Yeah, great story.

That was a great speech though. That was funny and touching.

And he talked about his dog. Yeah, who just recently passed.

And brought it out to all dogs and he said.

Yeah, I want to shout out to all dogs. You are good girls, you are good boys. Good night, we love you. It was just a.

Fan has big time, but super fan. Now.

Yeah, that was so nice of him because he did. He had way more important people to talk to at that party, and we have only met. I think I'm trying to think of maybe once since he did a thing with Nicky and Sarah live on MTV where we were. He was the show, his show had just come out. I think they were actually just writing it, and we drove to his studio. We did this bit where we were before me too, but we were like, you know, trying to touch as many celebrities as possible, like and

Notice that.

This was my random I was uncomfortable with it the whole time. But we never were sexually touching people. But I would I would not, We would not do this bit. Now anyway, we're doing a bit we were trying to We're running around town trying to get and and John.

You had a little mustache and a bowler hat.

Yeah, yeah, and so you know we're on a budget for that War Drone Department, and they had also done Band of Brothers, so is that the right worm. So anyway, we had him like act like he was hailing a taxi outside of his office, and then we ran up to like, you know, like it was like us pretending to go on this quest to get as many famous people. But he did that, and I remember thinking, like, it's so cool that he just did this dumb moment with

He couldn't wait. I could see h.

Zip yat I'm like a I had like a hawk guy at those parties for famous people, and I saw him and he's like he's walking this way.

He was so exciting.

That was so nice.

He's been a fan for a long time because I remember one point during Not Safe, like it was brought up that John Oliver was a fan of the show.

Oh my god. See, I like black these blackout these moments. Yeah, it's too much for me, and I feel like they actually don't support my story that I tell myself that I'm a fraud, and so I think I eliminate them from my memory in a way to preserve the story I'm telling myself about myself. Sure, I guess it's the because I always forget when people have said nice things, almost always. Yeah, it does not stick in my head.

He remembered, yes, what I didn't remember.

Of course I remembered it as soon as he said it, but like I had blocked it out because it's too much to have met.

Yeah, it's kind of just crazy to be a fan for your whole life and then somebody know who you are are.

Yeah, wow, that is crazy.

Well, I just have to say, like, I have a treatise I guess to give about forgetting things. Okay, if you forget someone's name or you can't remember a face, no matter who it is, it's not your fault. No one chooses to forget things. I mean, there are things you can do to maybe remind yourself of something if it's like important. But like, I have to let myself off the hook for not knowing things.

Do you remember everyone's names?

That is not true?

And I feel like I was.

I had my screen on dim for every single party I went to because I was googling fameous, very famous people's name to double check that I had their name right in the first place. And I forgot people that I last Nay, No, this is over the course of the weekend. Yes, probably last night. There were a couple moments. Yeah, there's There was one moment where there was a woman who hugged me and talked to me in a way that I knew we had an intimacy of having worked

And you're not meant to know this many people. You know so many people every fault.

Though, Like I can't be like, oh, I'm so dumb for forgetting like I would remember it if I could, like I did, of course, because I think we get people get offended when you don't remember them. But it's like I didn't choose the forging. I'm sorry, it doesn't mean anything.

Well, it's also like one of these things where like to me, like if I've like met like like Tom Hanks or something like, yeah, to.

Me, that is a pivotal moment in my life.

Yes, And to Tom Hanks, I was just like a guy who was like when you go out there like hit this mark, of course he's not gonna remember me. Yes, But then like I'm not going to get offended by that, but some people do get offended by that.

I saw a girl the other night, and I don't think I said this on the podcast the other day, but it happened previous to the podcast I was talking about, Like, there was a green room situation recently that was uncomfortable, and there was a person who said to Dane Cook as he walked in, hey, I have seen you since two thousand and seven. You don't remember me, do you?

Oh?

God, like dang Cooked two thousand and seven remembers any he met. He probably has the Guinness World Records of having met the most people in a year for that year of his life.

Of course, yeah that was like peak dang Cup.

Was born. Yet you don't remember me, do you? Has that? Have you ever becies? I know you wouldn't say that, but let's never say that sentence ever because has that ever worked out for someone? Because either the person's forced to lie to you, which you don't want, or they just feel bad and you're like you back to the shame thing, You're like shaming.

That's that when statement you were that asshole that I tried to forget.

Yeah.

I think the general just always say nice to see you again.

Yeah, Hollywood.

I just think be honest and say nice to meet you. And if they say we've already met, then that's fine too, and you go, oh, I'm so sorry. Just let's all be honest and let's all let people off the hook for not remembering us, no matter who you are. Everyone. If you can't, if you can't forgive other people for forgetting you, then you deserve everyone to expect you to remember everyone, and that's not fair. You want people to

I ondred percent agree with what you're saying in an ideal world, But for someone like me, it's like if I I have to say it's good to see you again because the risk of them being an asshole and then holding it against it. Yeah, it's just too great.

Nice to see you. It's just the way to get away in Hollywood.

Nice to see you.

It sounds like it you could have met before, but it also could sound like it's the first time you met.

It covers both m using it. Okay, I'm abuming back after this.

All right, guys, it's nice to see you. We're back.

So you went the three parties?

Okay, first night was supposed to go to three, went to one because just got out late. And then it was a nice hang and day brunch.

What was the first one?

The first one?

Hollywood Reporter on Hollywood Reporter, they had the nice pool. It was the rented house.

Chris Hardway hung out with this all night long because he also didn't we all both didn't really have anyone with us, so we hung out with hard Work for like.

Two hours, which midnight was across the lot from not Safe.

It was, And I used to do that show constantly. Chris Hardwick is a big part of my Like, uh, I think emergence as a Quippi comedic force.

Sure so quick.

So he's so quick, and he's such a generous laugher and so like there's just people along your career that like have laughed hard at you on TV or told the audience at home that you got a standing ovation like these it's Kevin Hart saying that gave me a huge boost that night, even though what he was just saying what happened, It helped in a way that people don't understand.

You were blessed by the King.

Yes, him just saying that it was a huge deal for my career and it was a pivotal moment, Like my set was a pivotal moment, but him saying that was even I would say more crucial to that moment. And then Chris Hardwick always just like laughing at my jokes so well on at midnight or making a big deal of them or like you know that kind of stuff. We were, Sean and I were just talking about like good laughers do so much for your career. Yeah, like in the right place. So yeah, Chris Hardwik we hung

Like a y A n y.

Yeah, I love that comic.

She wants to do stand up to her dad, George Lopez. They have a show called Lopez Versus Lopez. Yes, kind of, she's a big fan. And then really really nice. I saw Lily sing and I strapped your name. Yeah, she loves you so much. He looked amazing.

Yeah, I mean come on.

Yeah, she's a style icon.

She Yeah, she has like her own Yeah, like definitely, like she has a look that like she is kind of nailed.

Yeah, she's one of the prettiest people. Like she's so so pretty. Anyway, nice talk to her and then yeah, and then we had a brunch on Saturday.

So this is officially sanctioned brunch.

Yeah.

The BAFTAs the British Arts and Film Television Academy.

Wow.

Yeah, so what they're like drafting off of the Emmys or is this the same weekend they're doing.

The I don't really know what. It was just another place to do.

So where is the brunch?

Red carpet interviews? And the brunch was at the Maybourne in Beverly Hills Hotel.

Yeah, okay, yeah, it was like.

In this garden area during the day. I saw the actor and actress from uh Colin from Accounts, which is a really good Do you like that?

I started watching it.

Yeah, they're married, so cute. Love it. Love to see a couple be their kind of couple of dynamic in the show.

Sidebar, the show that won for Best Show or whatever at the Old Horses or Slow Has anyone watched that because I haven't.

Heard of it.

I love Slow Horse.

Okay, so this is something I should watch.

It won it won Best Writing for a Drama. It is a straight up comedy. It is has so many more jokes than the Bear. Really yeah no, it's written by a Veep guy like yeah, Will.

Smith Smith Okay, and then Will Smith had a great joke he.

Said, the greatest We're all thinking it.

Yes, it's so yeah.

I love that he was that we all were a little bit nervous as Will Smith was approaching the stage. Yeah, and then he got up there and.

It was I'm not going to slap anybody ever watched it.

Picture like James Bond, it's the m I six and this is like the rejects of the m I six and they all have like just desk jobs, and Gary Oldman is just it's like the c I A of England, okay, and like they're all just terrible spies.

Okay.

And then that's what Slow Horses is about.

Thought it was a.

Country it was like cowboy thing, no horses. I would watch the show you're describing. I would watch the show you're describing, and I did not have any interest in slow.

Not a good name, I thought. I said the same thing. It's like, it does not grip me.

Slow Horses.

Yeah, there it's Slow Horses. It's set and slow. That's where their office is.

I still don't know.

Okay, that confuses and upsets me, but I'm going to watch it off.

They're no longer like in the field, but.

I'm definitely gonna love this.

It's so funny.

I had to watch horses on horses.

It was like Yellowstone rip something Gary Olmen's disgusting and that he doesn't wear makeup. He has like long, greasy hair, and he just like farts and burbs.

Okay, I really, I honestly think that I was not going to watch it because I honestly don't like watching animals on shows because they can't consent to it and just it's like babies too, where I'm just like that baby just wants it's mom and it's like looking around for its mom, and like you can't explain to a baby like, no, you're making your mom money right now that she's going to steal from you. That's how I met your mother scene. Yeah, that is, And that's how

I watched the first two episodes and I felt so bad watching Get This.

My mom hired the woman from Chimp Crazy. I did to my sister's birthday, which she was seven. Placed it.

Yes, chimp in our house for Lauren's birthday.

Because this was before we understood animal No one new in the nineties. This is nineteen nineties.

Yea.

At that time we were still had like no on TV with like chimps with peanut butter in their mouth, like I ac feel.

Like they're yes, yes, maybe this was, but everybody held this chip, he got that rolled off. Anyone's was a baby, it was okay. The mother was somewhere, yeah, crying, and the mother was something I remember, yeah, grow up now I feel bad they get wild.

Oh yeah, because they the second episode focuses remember the lady who got it.

I've read everything there is that documentary can tell me anything.

That they have, like interviews with all of her friends, the chimp owner, because it was like her friends.

Dude, it's gnarly.

I have I think I've seen pictures from I remember all that.

But they show like the chimp when he was like a baby and it was like so fun and like going to parties for people, and then.

Oh my god, I could have been that chimp.

It could have been.

And then when her.

Oh it wasn't. I know it wasn't because when the.

Owner's husband died.

The chimp became so depressed he started overeating and he gained like all these pictures of him just like looking like my seven hundred pounds wife, and then he.

Jesus, no one to be surprised, but yeah, that chimp was Lauren. I go, Lauren, how did you? She's like, I'm watching himp crazy. This woman came to my seventh grade birthday. I'm like, how did you remember that? She was like, I just remember. She remembered that day so well, and the woman she remembered the woman.

I got to watch it because I remember you booked her.

For them.

I love that party. I was like, this is the coolest party.

That birthday party came. Yeah, I mean there was a chimp.

The scariest part was one of the neighbor girls. We thought she might have measles, and she was.

Like, you were scared to give the monkey measles?

Yes, oh, I always afraid that maybe Rose was going to give the baby. So I'm like, you can't hold the chip.

I remember there was a lot of anxiety around something that day. They're like, you cannot the fact that there was a champ, champ that might rip off against its will being placed into children's lap.

Listen, what did I know?

Did Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, so appropriated.

Oh my god.

Just a reminder to everyone animals do not want to be pet that they don't. Don't go to petting zoos, don't go to birthday, don't don't involve your kids in anything where there's a pet being paraded around like it it doesn't want to be there. It's not its jop. Pets are not I mean even pets like it's like they're kind of our slaves and people will have a problem with that.

I came with people who who dress their pets up. It drives me crazy.

You know, if it looks uncomfortable, I hate it. But if it like is a because sometimes I put you know, Marian in a little coat and she is cold because she's used to being and she's like not that I mean like costumes. Yeah no, it's a little annoying. I'm like whatever. But if it's like really hurts the animal and trying to get it off and it's like stay, I don't. I don't care, But that's interesting.

I follow one dog on Instagram named pop by the Foodie, and he wears these little Darling bow.

Ties and is he a French bulldog or no, he's just like.

A little Yorky and he has like a little bow tie.

And then they just go to like upscale restaurants and they every restaurant feeds him.

Okay, looks like he's having fun.

Oh he's having a ball. I love pop Eye.

Like the alternative like if someone is like I will only adopt a dog if I can dress it up. The alternatives that it stays in the shelter.

Yeah, I guess those are the two Bria lesser of two down. But there was like some famous hippo that's going around like there's a baby hippo and everyone's laughing.

Day Yeah, everyone's laughing.

I didn't look into it because immediately all I saw I was like, this little hippo looks constantly stressed. And I go wonder why, because it is if an animal looks stressed, possibly like everyone's laughing about how it always it looks like a human's emotion of stress. I guess yeah, and maybe it's not it's emotion, but I was like, it's probably because it's under stress because it's an internet star right now.

Martha Kelly tweeted, like a picture three pictures of Moo dang I think is his name? Just screaming and just like, well, he's not screaming, he's biting.

He doesn't want this.

Like when your dog is smiling, it's thirsty. Your dog isn't happy. Its mouth is open because it needs water, and it's like that, Like any kind of video where there's a little dog. We've talked about this before. It bears mentioning again, like on Instagram, do not like things that are accounts that seem to be like a bunch

To make I don't encourage anyone to do anything on the internet. I don't like anything stopped like general strike on liking don't be nuts.

Yeah, oh wow, that's an interesting thing.

It's about time we took our lives back.

Yeah, I mean, come on, yeah, don't encourage anything.

I do want to clarify on the dog. If the dog is smiling, it's not necessarily thirsty.

It might just be hot.

Yes, So I don't feel bad if your dog doesn't drink some water that you give it.

If it's my dog never does yeah, yeah, It'll turn down water all day long. I'm trying to give it. And then it gets to the venue where all my friends are and it's like looking around and they can don a ble of water and it starts drinking like it's never drink before, Like I've been starving it all day and it's I'm sure moms deal with that with their kids of like their kids eating a lot.

Suddenly, don't you give her water?

Yeah, every single time, and to the point that now I go you guys, she's gonna drink a ton and I promise you look at me. I just tried to feed herself. I show them because it's so embarrassing every time.

Didn't you say that when dogs yawn that they're anxiety.

It's like helping them have like less anxiety.

I do that.

Yeahah sympathetic. Yeah, Like if you smile, it's like supposed to make you happier. If you yawn, it like tells your body like that's maybe time to calm down. But the best way to calm down I found when I'm like really like feeling this is is take deep breath, hold it for four seconds, and then let it out slowly.

Oh yeah, that's pretty good.

And that's one that won't make your like sometimes you hold it. Sometimes you say nine seconds, and I'm like that starts to make you feel like I'm going to pass out. Four seconds is just long enough?

Yeah, it becomes very long. Nine Like can I just die from that?

Talk about so you're at this brunch?

Yeah?

So is the food?

Like?

Was it like a buffet?

No?

It was.

We were actually really disappointed because we thought it was going to be like a brunch, like we're gonna make plates and there's gonna be yeah, you know, and a thing a tray that you lift up like that with exit it.

Yeah, Chris likes his food.

It was just finger foods and it was like British crumpet things. It was all standing in like a courtyard and like a grassy area. So we saw some communities. We didn't stay there long. I met a guy who's we met Taylor Swift, and so we talked about him meeting Taylor Swift and that was fun. And then another guy came up to us and he wanted to meet Chris because he saw me and he recognized me from the roast and he said, I wanted to see the guy that you're with because wow is special.

Wow.

He was like, I wanted I wanted to meet her obviously, but I really want to meet I saw you put your hand on her back and I was like, oh, that's her boyfriend. Like what's that guy? Like this guy that invented the technology that James Cameron bought to he ended up buying for for her avatar.

Yeah, like that's crazy.

Wow.

And so he was there. He was like used to be on the board of Baptist or something, but he was just us. He was a really nice guy. Taught me the origin of why we call American football football?

Do you know?

No, wait, what why do we call football?

Why do we call it football?

I don't know.

It's really interesting, actually, I mean not really. But it rugby. There's a rugby. Football is a kind of rugby, I guess, or maybe this is what they call rugby over there. And obviously football is like rugby. You can't toss forward, you can or like, no, you can't go gerals, you can only go laterals, something like that. But they invented football, our football, and they were like, but we can go forward,

And then meanwhile, in Europe they're already have football. Yes, yeah, to just confuse matters more. Yes, that also has to do with why first downs and touchdowns are called those things.

Because I have to tell you, I have to give an update I know what my dilemma I had. The reason I didn't understand. Okay, so let me just take you back. I didn't understand we are going to try we have four chances to get a first down. Okay, there's a first first down, second down, third down, fourth down. Those are the chances, and then you're trying to get a first down. I didn't understand why the thing you're trying to get is called is the first step? Like

I mean that it's two.

It's it's too confusing. I I I'm glad you got there. But it was there all along, like I understood all along, I wasn't. I knew, I knew, I didn't need to know that.

I knew literally what it was, but conceptually there was some sort of mistikead how do you get there?

Yeah?

No, no, no again, not how do you get there? It was just why is the thing you're trying to get named the same thing as the chance? But I didn't realize we're talking about the next first chance. That's what you're trying to get. I didn't understand, if any If that helps anyone. But then here's a crazy thing I did not know. And I am so embarrassed to admit that I did not know this until was it with you? Sean. That was on Thursday that it happened. Yet, Brian, you witnessed this.

Oh, but I wasn't paying attention. I remember this conversation happening.

This was brutal. This was so brutal because I like, I like, I get it reminded me so much. And this is again goes back to I can't help what I don't know. I can't help, but I don't forget. It's not my fault that I didn't know this, but I was really felt so much shame because I'm like,

When you were seeing that, at the time, it did seem like, oh, that doesn't make any sense. But now that you say it, like yeah, in in soccer, offense defense on the field the same time.

In basketball, field, hockey, football.

Basketball their dual threat. Yeah, yeah, so that makes sense that that's why.

And someone goes, so you think that Tom Brady's out there like when they're on defense. I'm like, yeah, he's like in the back unless there's like an interception then they throwed him and then he and they're like, no, that doesn't make any sense. And it made me kind of sad that like the like a team like offense and defense, they're on the same team and they never get to play again.

And then there's also special teams.

And now I knew about that, Yeah, but they never get to all play together. No, no, never sad to me, I was a little bit bumped.

And then one when one goes to the sideline and they could have a conversation, the other side goes on the field and they can't.

Well, Patrick Mahomes said, he Irison mud Curry he's never even talked to in his life, Like remember the whole Irison Mudkert thing. And I think Patrick was like, I've talked to him maybe once, Like yeah, I think that was the statement. Yeah, so yeah, that was a big

Like it Dunning Kruger. Is that what it's called the Dunning Kruger effect. Yes, you know just enough to know to figure out that you know nothing.

Oh my god, that's how it.

Or really, the Dunning Kruger effect is when you don't realize yet really if you want to get technical, but.

But I do have a book coming today. Oh that a bestie recommended me after the whole thing about the downs last time that I was so confused. And it's called I'm so excited because I'm going to read it so fast, I hope. Let me just look at my orders. It's arriving today. It is called Talk Sports like a Pro, ninety nine Secrets and Becoming a Sports Goddess. And it's kind of heared towards women, right.

That sounds like my uh ninety nine had to talk to anyone, ninety nine big secrets for the little success. Let me see the cover of the book.

It's kind of cool. It's like the Venus demilo. Who's the author statue it's Jane M. McCormick. Yeah, forward by ESPN sportscaster Chris.

She's really expanding. I think that's the same person, the same person, yeah, who taught me to think about compliments. Remember what this might be. Let's find out.

I'm so excited. Thank you the best of you sent me that. I ordered it immediately, and uh, it's like not that well known of a book, so it kind of took a while.

It and I want to be a sports goddess. Large. I want to.

We'll be right back after this, all right, is it the same person?

Different person is? Okay, yeah, I think that's a different person.

Well, just I remember one time in French class I had a really really mean French teacher Kirkwood High School.

Show.

If you went to Kirkwoo High School in the early two thousands, there was a teacher I'm sure you're still around, one of the most scary people have ever I will ever know. She was like had the energy Nazi guard energy. Wow,

Answer wrong, hold up a picture of a dying bird. She honest.

Shout out, Kate Cordy, you got busted for making fake flashcards because you would have to show her the flash cards that you made to practice vocab. And Kate did just a couple on the top and then fake ones for the rest, and she went through and saw they were blank, and it was like wow, like awful things to walk Kate get talked down to. And Kate was like me, like a good girl and just maybe did the wrong thing once and like got.

So busted that she was a jew.

It was honestly, she got it was it was, and we all looked away because it wasn't us yet. You know, eventually she would come for us, and then who would come who would help us?

Well how much older, like she was.

Probably in her mid thirties. Maybe why I.

Care that much about teenagers learning fresh I.

Think she must have been miserable.

Maybe she doesn't care if she's just like a miserable.

Bit wanted to win over her love so much. But one day and I was trying to do well in French three. It was sophomore year, I think, and I had gotten through French one with a different teacher, and or maybe I forget it. Anyway, I went in for tutoring for French three in during our contact period, which was a free period where most people socialized, but I was like trying to get better at French. So I

Stuff that's like kind of like basic, so like you kind of skipped ahead.

I was learning like how to say typewriter and like let's go on a foot race, and so I didn't realize like things were feminine and masculine. I just maybe missed that day of school, like it's one day where you get told, hey, there's nouns in unlike English, each noun has a look in front of it or a lay or to indicate how many or what gender.

The and the spelling is different depending on if you're doing spelling.

Yes, So she discovered I didn't know law in law, and I remember she was so disgusted with me and just like why are how I thought I was gonna get kicked out her class because it was like, honestly, it's it's something I should have known at that level. And she was just horrified and disgusted by me. And I'll never forget. One of the greatest things that ever happened to me was one time on a test she wrote, PAML, do you.

Know what means not bad?

Not bad?

And it was the greatest achievement of my life that she I remember thinking that was like an A plus play like it's that's why I remember it, because it was so amazing that she like gave me not bad. That's how awful she was. And then she was she left or I graduated to the next level somehow, and I got Madame Calfus, who my sister has worked with because my sister's a Spanish teacher after when I schooled.

Wow.

I was in Senora Green's class and she was my sister's student.

Wow.

So cute, and she was so excited. She was like, and I know Madame calf Like this girl, I guess took two languages. And she was like I had Madame Calviuss and I go.

She was not.

We both like were like Adam Calfus, like we were both still gay for Like that's how amazing the teacher was. So it's not just a French teacher thing like some it was. It was remarkable that I had but both the worst and best teachers in the same subject. Final thought any did you guys have any really bad or good teachers.

It's amazing how some teachers really stick out as like memorable, and you wonder, like, well they have so many students, Like meeting Tom Hanks, It's like do they actually remember.

I never think they remember me.

And I got confirmation that one of my favorite teachers, David Dubin is his name. He was my English teacher. He remembered me because my for whatever reason, my cousin went was in the same house as him, like two weeks ago. Some thing was happening. I don't know exactly what was happening, but there was some reason and he asked about me and he was like, I love Brian, he was a great student blah blah blah.

And yeah.

It was like that's so validating.

I mean, because he was one of my favorites. It was him. Yeah, he was probably my favorite teacher.

Yeah yeah, yeah, my favorite teacher English and drama Miss Filosa.

I was obsessed with Miss Fellosa. I was in love with Miss Fellosa.

We went to her wedding and I cried like there it is like the only girl oh ever love, oh.

My god, And it makes so much sense, like you're good at English and theater, so I bet she was actually like she.

Was so bad. She was like telling me music. I would like like, and I'm like, I.

Had a teacher give me music too, and it was a little bit like, don't do don't be giving me CDs, but he didn't mean anything by it. But looking back, I'm like, if I wouldn't want my daughters at I'm not even gonna say name. There was nothing about it. No is in high school?

Yeah no, And when she gave me the CD, I'm like, please do anything you want to.

God can always fall for their female teacher.

Oh yeah, that's why, Lauren. Yeah, when you had to get here, I was like, you know, every boy liked and she would just be like, that is disgusting. I don't even want to hear it. Like we're like, it doesn't even know. There's not even something we could joke about because it was so disgusting.

It's so real, so real.

She's way too pretty.

Yeah, you have become like, yeah, an inside joke for every boy.

I just wanted to shout out one of the funniest lines of last night that I wrote in my phone because I wanted to bring it up last night at the HBO party, which is one that we didn't get to today, but uh, just briefly it was that was the one we got to where John Oliver was there, but my mom and I ended up like investigating. We found this karaoke room I fill my mom dance sing

I think your mom was talking about how it was like I think his wife was there, but he was like he was making you feel like the only woman.

Yeah.

And then Ton goes, if I can think of anyone in an open relationship, it would be JB. Smooth, understand, because it's so true a party that would be cool with like a.

Swing liken't care.

Yeah, that's so funny.

So we got to go. Thank you so much for being here, Sean again, it's been a pleasure, Mom. Thank you. Safe travels back. Any final thoughts about the weekend?

Oh, God, it's there's so much that I just can't even explain it. So fun.

What's the most fun?

Well, the whole thing, the fact that I got to come out here, was that you're being vague people. What you gift did me this weekend? This I don't know.

I'm sending a venmollin boys. Damn it, we didn't talk about that. I'll pay it. I just want you to know the number two.

Yeah, so I want to know those numbers. How much was that?

Yeah?

It was so much fun.

You're so fun and you're always so down, and it's so nice to have a mom who's like so with it and is someone that you can bring to these things and shows up looking as cute as you did, and like it blends in perfectly to your whole Hollywood scene. So it's so fun. So we'll do many more because yeah, I'm nominated for an Emmy next year. It's crazy. Yeah, already two Emmys. I know, I don't like to talk about the other one, but I'm glad you bought it. I don't want to brag too much, but yeah, to