The Nicky Glaiser Podcasts. There's NICKI hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's Nicky Glazer podcast. Amazing show for you today. I predict. My sister is here in person and studio. What's up Lauren, Hi, welcome back to the show. Brian Frangie is here, Noah's here, my dog is here. Lauren's chilling. She came over today to go to my pilates class.
Thing that I do.
It's I'm sorry to keep calling it platateus to anyone who is associated with the place I go to because it's called lagree, and I just agree about calling it that. It's called plank p l n K. I call it plunk. But it's what they do is lagree. It's it's like, I don't know exactly what it means. Yeah, it's l apostrophe a g R E.
I think did they come from France?
I don't know who. Will someone look up the meaning. It's like it's it's like cardio mixed with strength. It's like pilates plus cardio. I don't know. You don't need to look it up.
It came from a country in Europe called Condescension.
Okay, Yeah, okay yo, Yeah, it does. It was her first class. What did you think I talk about this class? Ale?
It was really hard and there's a lot of different movements, different instructions. I mean, it's a lot to master. It's you pull levers, you gotta get on different sides there.
And while you're completing a move and like holding a plank, they're describing the next thing you are going to do, and then as soon as you get done with it, you have to move into that thing. So yeah, it's like your time to breathe.
You're like in a marathon to get to the next move.
But what I like about it, I like it a lot because what I like about it is that they don't they're not forcing you to do it right. They're not like if you want to, if you yeah, there's no correction, which I really appreciate. There's sometimes they do just because they can tell you want it, but most of the time, no, I do love a question before
the class forever. Every class I have ever taken, where they go any pregnancy postpartum, Like anyone's gonna raise their hand in the middle of the class and be like I'm pregnant, Like no one or injuries, pregnancy, postpartum, which could all be under one umbrella.
Some people loved announcing their injuries, though. I mean, I've seen people who go, I have a wrist injury that I can like, oh, I'm so sorry, how'd that happen? Here's what you can do.
Oh. I one time was taking a new class and she was like, any injuries and it was just one on one with her, so I didn't have to like announce it, and I was like, oh, my shoulders kind of whatever. And then the Kirsten told me. She was like, if you tell them that you have an injury, they'll comment on it the whole time. They keep correcting you, and so it's like, if you don't want that, just adjust for yourself. You don't need a good tip. Yeah,
it was a good tip because she was right. Because they they're libel, then I think is libel the word they're liable? Liable? Liability Libel is when you like, say something mean bad, and liable is.
What is when you're when you're accountable and you could be sued for something that you're responsible for.
Okay, I already forgot the word I learned yesterday. Hold on inculpate, Yes Oh my god, thank god, I got it. I'm trying to learn new words, Lauren, and this one has been a struggle for me. But inculpate is.
Like because inculpate is like, it's a gross sounding words.
It's not good. It's not like swallowing it to accuse or blame. Yeah, it's not good question for Lauren.
Yes, So how are you like in these new things that you take, like this new class, I'm sure, like, do you get overwhelmed by all the instruction and trying to follow along and all that stuff? How do you handle all that?
It's it goes so quickly that you just by the time if you've messed up that move, you move on to another move. I mean I just was looking at what everyone else was doing and just trying to copy that.
Lauren is so good about trying new stuff because she's the one that's like, come do this class with me. She does a thing called class past where you get to try different classes. And like, I'm just someone if I find something I like, I do it the same thing all the time and I never stray. Yeah, and you're a little bit experimental.
Yeah, I like doing different kind of work workouts because then you're just doing the same thing. It's just I think I have like too much add that I just can't do the same thing over and over again.
But I like that for my add because I liked it to be predictable, so I know what's going to happen. I don't. Maybe maybe none of this is add and maybe I'm just describing.
Yeah, I can just do it.
No, no, no, I think you're self description a little bit more than mine does. I'm like, I like to know things the way they are. But it's like I was talking to you know, Halla and Kerson on Girls Chatter, both pilates instructors, and Halla was saying that she never does the same class twice and she puts a lot of pressure on herself to like change it up to make it different for her students, uh, you know, taking the class. And I was like, girl, no one will
ever notice I've taken these classes a million times. I don't notice. I like it when I almost like it. When if you did the same thing every day, I would I would like it more. But we all put so much pressure on ourselves for things that like no one cares about. I think it's almost like chronic for everyone in every aspect of their lives.
Yeah, no one cares about anything that anybody does, quite frankly, unless it affects them directly. And I think, uh, that's a great lesson to just like always take a step back and be like, do I really need to be doing this this?
Well?
Hmmm, like what you would you mean when you're putting yourself pressure on yourself for a project or even like a workout, like, no one cares, Like, uh, how do you apply that?
One of the greatest this is kind of tertiary to that, but one of the greatest lessons I've learned about working out is tertiary. Yes, one of the greatest lessons is if you feel like if you pushed yourself a little bit harder you would get injured, there is no shame in just stopping early, Yeah, because there's nothing worse than injuring yourself and then you can't work out for three
weeks because of it. Yes, that was a wisdom lesson I had to learn, because before I'd be like, you got to push through you pussy, and then I like forced myself to do a squat and then I'd be in excruciating pain, and then I'd be like why did I do that? Why did I call myself a pussy?
But then there's also the side of things that where you like no.
Pain, no gain, right, well that's that's toxic.
And there's like these like motivational lines. Did you what was your motivational thing written on the floor? You had me at yellow pole or oh that one's dumb. Yeah, it's like because when you put on a yellow when you put on a yellow spring, it's like lighter load. So it's like you had me at yellow So they quoted a.
Rom com from nineteen ninety four.
I forgot those term acquire mine was something about like lagree is my cardio, and that did make me the good because I was like, I don't have to do cardio today. I don't feel like this is cardio for me, even though you know I should wear like a heart rate thing and see if it even doesn't. But yeah, I mean there is a time though, where it does feel like you should, uh, you should push yourself and you get like cause there I've wanted to quit so
many times in my career. I think I read I've quoted this a million times, but I remember years ago reading that Luis C. K at least he used to run five miles a day because at one point in that he always wants to like quit, because it's never easy. Five miles is never going to be something that's like whatever, it's always no matter how in shape he gets, it's like, ugh, that last mile is like I want to quit. I've
already done four. I'm fine with four. Five is unnecessary, but he always pushes through to five, and I'm I'm kind of like, uh, being a little uh liberal with my understanding of what he said, But he said the gist of it was that because he does the five the rest of the day when he's on set and he's tired and he doesn't want to do another take or he doesn't want to get but we don't need
that extra shot or that extra angle. He's like, no, like I know that fifth I've already done that fifth mile, so I can do this again today in different ways. Or I'm on stage and I'm bombing, or I'm scared to do this joke that's new, like pushed through because and I think that's what I guess. But for me, doing these glasses gives me a false sense of I've already done that, so I don't need to do it in any other aspect of my life of pushing through. So the rest of the day, I'm not like inspired
by that push through. I'm almost like, you've worked today. And I've talked about this before, like doing cardio or doing a workout can give you a sense of accomplishment that is not really doing anything for my life like in any.
Other mentally, I think though it can get you in a different headspace.
Yeah, it makes me feel good. I have a little anecdote that maybe will sort of help with this. So we have a friend who's just going through a really hard time, just like with his family and stuff, just feeling really bad, and he he was he called Avi one evening and who's just like, you know, he's kind of like a control freak, but he's working really hard on someone to like let go of all that. So Avi said to him, He's like, well, you need to
do something outside of your comfort zone. And our friend really likes to exercise, and he's like, you got to stop going to the gym and doing the same things. He's like, think of what's the thing that you hate doing the most. So our friend goes, I hate stretching, so Avi says, okay, you got to sign up for a yoga class. Our friend is like, no, I don't want to go to yoga. So Abvi said, Okay, here's this place. They offer a two weeks past and you could bring a friend. I will go with you to
class if you if you buy the pass. So they ended up going to the class on Sunday morning and the teacher was giving mantras as they were doing the yoga poses, and of course, for someone who's impatient like our friend and who's a control freak to hold yoga poses was very hard, and he said he wanted to quit. But then she said this line that he related to because it kind of went along with what he's going through and it just helped him so much. And at the end of it, he was like, Wow, I did
something that I really can't stand. I felt heard in a way. And now he's going to try to go to yoga a little bit more and see if that helps him.
What was the line? Was it, Yeah, you complete me? It was.
Save the last Dance.
I don't know it was it was show me the money.
Funny.
It was basically like, don't look at things of the past. You can't control the past, just look forward or something like that.
Okay, so now he's like it, does he like yoga or he's just he's hollerrating it.
But he sees how it can help him outgrow this box that he's in.
I'm trying to think if someone asked me, like, what's the thing you hate the most or because here's the difference, Like I hate doing things, and then there are things I'm scared of doing because I'm going to be bad at them. But I wish I was good at and then I would do it, you know, like tennis. I
wish I was good at tennis. It seems like something fun to do, but I'm scared because the only way to get good at tennis is to practice, and the only way to practice is on a court that's next to other people playing tennis at a better level than you, and then you are hitting their ball into their game and it's just humiliating. There's no way to get good at tennis in a vacuum, Like it's I know, it's what.
About getting a tennis instructor? It sort of feels like you'd enjoy having, like tennis lessons.
I've taken them as a kid. But even the tennis lessons, you are still on a court next to people playing a game and being in you're like annoying them. But why do you care if.
What they think?
Because I just feel, really, I feel handicapped in a way that I shouldn't be, Like, I feel like I look like someone who should be able to play. Like if I literally had a handicap and I was bad at tennis, like it would be like, oh, wow, you're good for like what we expect you to do. But I feel like I have all the faculties of someone who should be able to be good at it, and I'm just not. And it makes me feel insane when I'm bad at you You're the same way we took tennis lessons.
Like is if you're not if you don't have a natural talent or something.
Wou John Macrene, that's a lot. That's what. I'm very much like John McEnroe in the fact that I will throw my tennis racket. But that's the only way in which we are similar. But I would just throw it because I'm so I whipping a ball. There's nothing more frustrating to me than that feeling. And I just I realized that when Chris and I almost bought this house that had a tennis court, I was like, oh, I can maybe go to tennis because I'm this is a private and I can be bad alone and not in
front of other people. I just want to do. I want to be bad alone. But I'm trying to think of like what my stretching thing is, or like my.
You hate roller coasters, Oh yeah, any extremes amusement.
I mean, I think that's actually a good idea, Lauren, because it is like I'm a statistics person, Like I'm I will follow the laws of math and science and like these and the physical world, you can't. You're not gonna die on these rides. It's the the odds of it are insane. And if I'm driving places and I'm flying places like it's it's even I would guess the lodds are even slimmer of dying in one of these things, which is is the fear I'm gonna die, Wow Moor,
then I'm just gonna be scared. Maybe that's the scaredness comes from the fear of dying, right, Brian, Like, I'm scared of being scared, but but I do, like I do like the feelings sometimes being haunted house. No, no, no, I stand by the fact that I am right in not liking to be scared in that way, in an unpredictable way. I'm I think I'm so right to not like scary movies and haunted houses. I don't. That is a kind of person I am not, and I don't wish to be.
I used to think that scary movies and stuff were a waste of time, and I think I figured out why people like them or why they're good, or at least why I would enjoy them, even though I've decided, like I don't like the look when I saw The Ring when I was in middle school or whenever that was, I couldn't sleep for months, and every.
Time nothing to do with your mattress, Yeah, because.
The mattress was temperpeedic, and I was like, why you're giving a kid a temper repeed it. I couldn't and whenever like the Snow would come on TV, I would freak out. And nowadays I realized, But I love zombie movies, I love apocalypse shows. I love things where it's the end of the world. I went to go see A Quiet Place Part one I enjoyed that. I was like,
why do I like this? And it was because you get to be scared for a finite amount of time and then it's over, and so it tricks your subconscious into thinking the threat is eliminated and you get this period of comfort.
Wait, why does the Ring not give you that?
I don't well when I was a kid. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know why, Like straight horror movies.
Don't do that for me, because zombies are like so far from the realm of possibility for us versus like if it's like a ghost movie, that's like, oh, that could actually be real, because ghosts maybe are real.
Is it that I don't know? I have no idea. I mean, isn't it weird?
Also that you as a child, No, you never hear a child being like I slept horrible less night my back, Like a child never complains about sleeping. Why is that?
Is it?
Because there's one reason? It's because you're not Jewish. No, there's no Jews all over. There's six year old Jews all over.
Like like that change that much from thirteen. Let's talk about like a teenager from thirteen until twenty seven. You can't change that much that like you're it, really, I think is mental. I think the pressures of mental Like I think our backs start hurting when we start to have to be on our own and like provide for ourselves and feel more of a sense of autonomy in this world and there's not someone taking care of us.
And I just read a study about how the people who are most affected by depression right now are people in their twenties. Yeah, everyone thinks it's going to be us millennials. For some I don't know what the argument they're or they think it's mostly teenagers, right, but teenagers are going through a surge of depression and suicide and all those things, obviously because of social media is probably the main cause, and impending climate change and stuff like that.
But they found that twenty year olds suffer the most because there is a support system when you're in height, when you're still a kid, you have family, you have a school looking out for you. I mean, maybe not well, but at least there's some kind of structure in your life. And when you're in your twenties, no one's fucking looking out for you anymore. And these people in their twenties are the loneliest. There's also people aren't going out anymore
and socializing. People don't have you know, these built in social structures that give them friends. So there's so many people are so lonely in their twenties and thirties, and they're brown, and they're to.
Get people off the internet and put people into real communities again, it's yeah.
These just people that aren't going out. If they're going, if.
They're where do they go. They're also people don't go to church anymore. You know, church. Church used to be a great way for people to meet people. What you do.
I was in Trader Joe's yesterday and they I was wearing my my classic you know, sweatshorts and shirt which makes me look like kind of I was just working out or something, and so the cashier was like, you just get done working out? And I was like, no, just to se how I am.
And then he's like they never stopped being that person. Yeah, this is so funny that like, of course you go to Trader Joe's and some comments on your out like, okay, go on.
Well they're the nicest.
They're the nicest.
It's the nicest grocery store around. It's your neighborhood Trader Joe's. And then you go to Ralphs and they're like, they're like they want to kill you. I mean, it's crazy. They're like mad that you're buying food at their store. But I don't blame them. Obviously, they're just not getting paid enough. But the Trader Joe's, this guy was like, you gotta go to the rock climbing gym that I go do, And I was like what, He's like, you
gotta joint. He's like, here's what happens. We do rock climbing and then around seven o'clock they bring out a DJ and then everyone just kind of hangs and climbs and talks and we all friends. And I'm like, that's like for you, that sounds amazing. I can't think of something I would want to do less than this.
It's it's like the new why would he invite you? He doesn't know I don't know, Well, did you give a vibe that he would just like? Why would he do? Like that's suspicious to me when someone doesn't know me and they're like, come on and do this thing, and
I'm like, you don't know me. Like when guys used to just like I would be chatting with a guy like when I was like dating and single, and they would just be like, I don't know, I really see a future with us, Like you're so compelling to me, like so fast, And I would be like, I call bullshit. You don't know anything about me? Is such a lie. Watch out for anyone that wants to include you too soon, because I'm just I mean, stay at home, stay away from people, don't make friends, be suspicious.
This guy was interesting. I think there's there's a world where it's cult and there's a world where I think maybe maybe he was hitting on me. I'm not sure.
Oh gotcha, Yeah, Okay, that actually okay, I see what's going on here. Yeah, Brian, I'm thinking it might be that that I didn't even consider that. That's a great then, Yeah, you don't need to I feel like gay gay men don't need as much of a for me, And like if someone said sex to you, I'm like, you don't even know me. But I don't think gay men need that kind of like, and a lot of women don't need to be there. To be honest with you, we'll
be back after this. The climbing gym turning into a club is probably one of the gayest things I've ever heard. I can't believe I didn't clock it right away, So I feel like that's an god. Gays are having so much more fun than us. Oh yeah, I mean, maybe I'm just like learning it from less culturistas, but I like I they're having a lot of fun. They're just like they're free. They they because it's such a struggle to be you're, to have been gay and to come
out and be yourself. Once you are, you get to be you. And I'm not saying like, oh, they're so like it's so easy or whatever, but there is something really cool about feeling different for at least a part of your life for however long, and then when you finally are like, I'm this thing, then you just get to be it very loudly, and anyone has a problem with it, fucking fuck you, and you just get to be you. And it's I don't know, they're just they're having a lot of fun. I just I'm I've become
obsessed with less culture. It's just I'm trying to get my sister hot.
I know I haven't listened.
I'm sorry, but I told her, like, don't be turned off by like all the cultural references that you won't understand, and like the lingo, you'll catch on soon and you'll feel so much cooler and smarter and more culture literally because you listen. So I'm just I can't stop talking about it.
Is too busy because she's famous now. Oh yeah, I saw an article about her, not.
To mention her three kids, but she she's famous now, and so she is. Yeah, she's hired a team. Who is to deal with this?
Nicky Glazer's sister?
We okay? So I woke up to a text from Jen, my assistant, I think on Saturday morning Friday morning that said who is Lauren Glazer?
Who is Nicky Glazer's sister? Is about Nicki Glazer's sister, Lauren Glazer. Nicki Glazer and sister Lauren Glazer were born just eighteen months apart.
Yes, is the headline, and then there's a picture of us on a ferry boat from Matt, her husband does out is part of an outdoor company called Big Muddy Adventures in Saint Louis And we went on like a old steamboat cruise that was really fun. It was cool, and they took a picture of us. Someone did, and that's the picture that ended up on this People magazine. Now, I woke up to this text from Jen. I gotta say I was having like a depressing morning that day.
It was like, uh, I got hit by depression this weekend, and I was like, I can't deal with this right now, Like I can't handle this right now. I don't even know, like there wasn't like a jealousy or anything like. I think some people thought that I was, like someone wrote because I posted on my Instagram story and Jacqueline Novak, who I love and has a podcast on our same
network called Poog. But Jacquelain Novak wrote was like I never forget your joke about looking like nos Faratu, like and your sister was beautiful and you were behind your mom's legs going let it happen me. And so she was like this was this trigger. She kind of like
made a reference like was this rough for you? And I'm like no, but it like my biggest fear is that I would open it up and then somehow the comments would come up first and it would be like she should be the famous one, she's prettier, we like her more like that was but I was depressed that day, Like I wasn't I wasn't thinking clearly, so I was like, I can't read the ship in case the comments somehow find me, And I was also going to be horrified, Like sometimes I feel really bad that I bring in
my family to stuff and like people like find out things about them that or like put them in like when mom had the Julia Roberts thing happen when we were in in Europe, but also like it it made her look mean in a way that she wasn't trying to be and it just like put her in a light that she didn't ask for. And I'm like that I obviously put her in, but no, I just felt like, oh God, does Lauren even want this? And what is
this going to say? Did some bot write this? Like it actually wasn't And it was such a good article. It was so sweet and it's so cute that people are like they are just trying to give people things they want. Someone wants to know people want to know who you are.
You're into like, well, it's only because of you because you're so famous.
Well it was. It was It did feel good to me that like someone so interested in me that they would want to know about my sister, because I'm also that way with celebrities where I'm like, wait, I do want to know about Zach Effron's brother. He's a brother, like you want to get into the family. It's it's fascinating to me. So but it was a really well written article. Thank you to whoever wrote it. I forget the person who did it. But it was not a bot. I thought it was gonna be a bot. They listened
to podcasts Emily who Weaver Weaver, Thank you so much. Emily. You did great research. You listen to this podcast, you listen to a podcast my dad was on, you listen to interviews you had done. I mean it was like, the only thing you got wrong was her name. My sister name is Lauren Green.
But that's okay because hey, I kind of like that though, because.
Yeah, is your name Lauren Glazer Green?
Like, did it's changed my middle name? No, las didn't.
No, what so Jane is just gone?
Jane's gone.
Like literally, there's no, it's not Lauren Jane Glazer Green. No.
I didn't keep it. I just I thought it'd be too confusing to have four names.
It's so confusing.
The Spanish.
Yeah, oh my God, that's so interesting. I didn't know you would change your middle name.
That's pretty much. I've never heard that before.
Really, my friend has done it before. I feel like it's common.
I've never heard of it. You're the first person I heard doing this.
No, I think I'm going to do it because I have not changed my last I just don't want to go through the whole rigamarole of changing my name. Yeah, but maybe if I change it to my middle name because I don't have a middle name.
Oh no, you will.
Oh this is exciting. I should do it. Mind blown. Oh then you could.
Always, like, if you wanted to keep your last name, you could just not as like a hyphenated name.
Okay, I like, can I just dig into that a little bit?
Why?
What what was going on with your parents that they were like, let's just not give a middle name, lazy, it's just pure like we don't want to think of one.
Is it not a Jewish tradition? Maybe? Yeah?
I think it just was not a common thing. I don't know.
I don't know. It's a middle name for some something, you know what we were talking about.
It's so far. I think it's fun, but something. I mean, I could I should talk. It took me four months to name my dog a first name, and it was still a little bit. Her name's Goldie. But I we were talking on Girls Chat about how women have to give up their names. I've done a bit about it, and it's just like kind of strange to me that we just you know, you can't find anyone you went
to high school with. That's yeah, yeah, yeah. I talk about in this joke that uh yeah, if you're you're the only time your name ever comes up as a woman who's married is when your son calls you because he's locked out of his bank account and he's like, mom, what's your old name and security question? Yeah, it's a bank banks security question. That's all your name becomes. And
it's kind of true. But I was reading some kind of I don't know, wedding announcement and it was like mister and missus Gordon Graham, and I was like, where's her at all? She's missus Gordon Graham now, like she has his name too, Like fuck that. I'm fine with women taking the husband's name. Like I've gotten on board with it, even though I'm a little bit like it's
a I'm not fully on board. I'm a little grossed out because it just seems like property and it seems like you just lose who you are, and it's it's kind of cool. If you don't like your last name, you get a new one. It's kind of fun to switch it up, like why not? But I do think it's strange that you if you're a woman, if you're if you're looking for a classmate who you grew up with, a woman you grew up with, good luck.
Yeah, she's a.
Missing person now because there's no there's no evidence of her anywhere. Her name chans on Facebook. You can't find her on LinkedIn like you will not. And but any guy you went to school with, oh, easiest pie. I I this happens to me all the time. I will remember someone from high school, and if it's a guy, I can find it. Girl can't find it because they've gotten married and they've changed it a million times because they've gotten remarried again and again. And that's a little
bit of a shame. But I guess some people don't want to be found, so that's good too. But I I think it is cute to change your name. It's kind of fun.
Why I did it.
Your wife kept her name?
Yeah, she's still Alie Cannick.
Yeah, and how do you feel about that? I'm sure you don't care at all.
I don't really. I guess there was part of me that was, like, I've I would have liked if she decided to change it. That would have given me like plus points of happiness, but her not changing it doesn't give me negative points. Okay, I'm just like, Okay, she has a cool last name.
I think Chris would feel the same.
It's a cool name.
It is Cannick is a cool name. It's crunchy and it's cute and it's very her. Yes, she's just like she has like a bubbly personality and she's like just a crunchy k is like always like a kidsy girl. Sound like, what did you even think you why did.
You change your name?
You just said you didn't.
I didn't.
Yeah, I think well, Green is a dope name because Rachel Green friends, That's what I think.
It's so common though, it is way more common than Glazer.
Yeah.
Well yeah, there's so many greens out there, and I kind of I only changed it because actually I don't even know why. I think I just changed it for conformity reasons, and when I was when we were going to start a family, I was like, it'd be easier if we all had the same last name.
Yeah, well, let me talk about if podcast listeners don't know, because you've had to be following me for a really long time to know the story when you named your daughter.
Oh, that's a good story, really good story. So Brian, do you know this?
No, I have no idea.
I have on Instagram.
Confused why your name's green.
Oh, I'm because I'm married to that.
Okay, so that's your married name. But you were ah, yes, I was.
Now her middle name is.
Sorry, that was really dumb of me.
No, I don't think it was dumb. I think we weren't very clear. But so your daughter, you had a son named Arlo at this time. Then you gave birth to a daughter, and I was living in New York at the time. My parents were in Saint Louis, so is Lauren. She goes into labor, I would say, around midnight or something. You probably didn't give birth until four in the morning, five in the morning, something like that.
I went into labor probably, yeah, a lot earlier than that.
Okay, I forget how long, for.
Maybe eight hours or something. So the baby gets born, and baby's born at like four o'clock in the morning.
Yeah, four o'clock in the morning. I wake up at six am, I think, and see the text.
That's all spee didn't know the sacks of the baby was going to be surprised. Oh, I didn't know. And then also didn't have a name picked up or hadn't shared any name. So that was all right up for like, yeah, so no one knew what was coming down the pike.
And so then Lauren, So Matt texts a picture of Poppy as a newborn infant and writes, Poppy Louise Green, Luisa Louisa Green, So sorry, Poppy, Poppy Luisa Green born Ape May the third, blah blah blah, the way weighs seven pounds six ounces, twenty three inches long, whatever, all the things, and like just healthy, happy, and like a beautiful picture of her, like just a classic text of information.
Welcome to the world, Poppy Louise suggss. Just to our parents, Just to our parents are my husband's parents.
And and but this the chat is just our family, me, you, mom, dad, Matt. Yeah, that's it. And my mom does She the first to write back.
She first to write back, No, Oh my gosh, congratulations, Wow, way to go. Lauren like, none of that, welcome to the family. All she writes is that is her really her name? Question mark. I'm like, oh my god, as.
If they would have made some sort of joke, isn't really her name? I think it was a double question mark. I think it was a double which, which is almost more marsh, like harsh, so harsh.
Yeah.
Wow, And it's like a welcome to the world. I just got finished, happy baby.
Your granddaughter is just the world finish giving to her.
Had just pushed my final push.
It's right up there with cool. She has a reply from a mom Wow, but she said that moment.
Follow oh my.
Gosh, congratulations. I love her name. I love her I wrote it. I was just like then, I think obviously started a sidebar with Lauren and Matt and was like, oh my god. Mom's response and she goes in Mom's defense, she was like, I really thought it was a joke.
She's like, I didn't know that's a name, she.
Didn't know what that could be a name. And now she's like, no one questions the name it's like the cutest name ever. Everywhere says with the name, but at the time it was it was just oh mom, Mom, that was like the biggest mistake of Mom's life. Because she has never lived it down.
She still she kind of doubles down on it though, like I thought it was a joke.
I didn't know it. Like now she couldn't be anything, and we're all like coppy, but we're like, no, Mom, it's not that you thought it was a joke. It's just it really is that. It's just you couldn't have said whether or not they were joking. There is a new picture of your granddaughter in the world that is just entered the world at five in the morning, and you write it's five thirty in the morning. Mom wakes up and just right, that's and then wait, the best
part this whole thing. You would think like after that she would write something else. I'm not joking with guys. I woke So the announcement was like four am. My mom writes at five point thirty when she says it is that really her name? Double question mark? And then I wake up at like eight. So it's been like my mom has left that text for about two and a half and I follow up, follow up, no follow up.
It's so dad texted. I don't even think texted something.
But yeah, they were just in shock over it, which is so dumb. But this is why parents, this is why parents are so.
Like they have to.
Well, when Forrest came along, I remember Mom was like, I'm not saying anything, and I go, yeah, you shouldn't. Like she's like, you don't, we're not say in anything, no, no, before he came. Oh, but what do you mean before he came? Like if I don't like his name, I'm not gonna say anything. And it's like, yeah, you shouldn't. It's already on the birth certificate. Like she's almost like, well, you're not gonna get my opinion this time. Well we didn't need the flood.
I have two lines of defense for your mom. One is five thirty in the morning. She's probably groggy waking up, like what is this random baby?
She was in labor though she like she knew I was at the hospital.
There's no excuse.
Number two, okay, is boomers just aren't great at texting. They don't, they're not they just don't. They're not good at the nuance of the emotion.
Oh my god. I got into a text fight with mom the other day that I really I should I need to apologize. I did apologize later. I didn't see like how upset she was about it, but she was like I told her I was going to go see a house with Chris and we always invite her to go and she's literally never been.
And so she goes, how's that house? And I go, I go, uh, not not good. Not I go, not not good.
But it was a fun time, it's what I said, And she goes, so, so what do you get? So she said something like, so what are you gonna do? And I go did I go? Well, clearly, I said not good. She goes, what are you gonna do? Something like like but are It was like some sort of good question of like what are you gonna make an offer? And I'm like, but you could tell. She was like, don't make an offer then, and I'm like, but that
was me saying not good. And I realized I got so upset, and I go, Mom, I when I said not good, I thought it implied I would not make an offer and that this was a done deal. It was like over, but you're still checking to be like, Nikki, are you doing something with this? How are you moving on this? And I realized I was talking to Chris about it. I was like, why did this make me
so mad? It's because, again, like I talked about it last week, when she gets mad at me about like taking her to dinner and she goes, we can't it's too expensive, it makes me feel like I'm making poor financial decisions, like it makes me feel like she judges me that I can't be trusted to make financial decisions. So when she goes, Nikki, are you gonna do something about this house? Are you gonna get it? That wasn't her being like are you get it? It was her
being like thinking I'm going to get something. I just said I hate it and it made me so mad and she was like, oh, I can't say anything to you without being attacked, and she is right.
I did.
I did go hard and I was like, you think that I would get a house that I said not good? Do you trust me? Look back at the text conversation, Mom, see what? And I was like, is this worth it? Is this worth it to get into this fight with my mom who's not gonna be around forever? Like what am I doing? I need to put down the phone and just let let our parents text the way they text and let it be.
Yes. Do you know that a majority of people argue over the style of people's argument as opposed to like.
The whoa, oh my god?
Tone?
I love to talk about tone.
Tone creates arguments, I think.
Yes, yep.
And you were just saying how, like why is Julie saying it like this instead of her expressing her actual concern? It comes off with criticism and you respond back to it as like why would you say that? So it's like we argue about how people say things. Yes, tone is also a part of it.
Yes, I do.
I'm sorry. I didn't want to interrupt this go. I just wanted to do a quick before the five minutes is up, a quick recap of three things that we talked about. One is shout out to Jacquelyn Novak because she is also nominated for an Emmy coming up, Yes, writing for a Variety special. And then number two is I have a question about Louis c k running five miles that seems shocking to me.
I'm serious, dude, I read, isn't he like face?
Wasn't he at the time, especially famously like out of shape and a slob, and he talked about how he was out.
Of sty during I'm guessing I read this because I remember where I was when I read it. I was in my apartment that I lived with with Anya, and so I'm guessing it was twenty thirteen or fourteen is when I read this, So Louie FX show.
She was trying to get jacked or in shape thing.
Probably trying to get in shape.
Right, miles a day. That's really surprising, Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the number three is your chance of dying in a roller coaster accident is oh, thank you, in twenty four million, which is actually not that low. I mean, imagine how many people go on a lot of.
That is like heart attacks though, Oh sure, are people just being jostled around too much? Jostling lobacked around too much? Yeah, I'm going to the Emmys this weekend with Dad. I'm bringing Dad is my date. I could have brought mom for an extra nine hundred dollars, but I just was like, I just want Dad needs a trip alone. I just kind of don't want to deal with both of them.
No offense. Mom, I love you so much and I love taking you to things, And I obviously could have paid that nine hundred dollars, but I did go momp, if you want to go, I'll pay the nine hundred. She goes, I don't need to go. I like I did use the price to like get her to be on board with me not going, even though that.
Is not she probably I'm sure she really wanted to go. But I think this will be really good time with you and d and Dad again.
Will feel special, feel special this weekend. Yeah, well, the Creative Arts Emmys. I'm presenting at them, and I'm I'm nominated.
What are you wearing?
I don't know yet. I'm gonna get fitted on Friday, so I always get fitted the day before for things, so I like don't know how I'm gonna wear my hair. I don't know anything. I'm getting a spray tan that night. Like everything kind of comes together in one day. I'm like, oh my god, I can't believe I have to, like look the best I've ever looked in a couple of days. But yeah, that's happening. And Chris is bringing his mom and I'm bringing Dad and we're going to parent trap them.
They're going to fall in love, and then we're going to be brother and sister like we've always wanted to be and it's going to make our sex life so much hotter. That's so weird. Well, what if they did fall in love, Like what if they have to each other? I mean, anything happen, Anything can happen at the Emmys, that's what everyone always says.
So nominated for Creative Arts.
That's the that's the best special. Yeah, that's my award that the only thing I'm nominated for is being given out there. And also the Tom Brady Roast. Oh yeah, and editing will also be get out there, but that's not me, that's more Guy Harding and so yeah, my the editing will be awarded, rewarded, awarded there to Guy Harding. He's gonna win. And then my special, which I'm against Dick Van Dyke. Yeah, Billy Joel, Dave Chappelle and uh Joel.
I feel like you could beat Dave Chappelle because he's won so many awards. Like they're gonna be like another one, you know.
Yeah, I think Dick Van Dyke is going to take it. If they're I'm taking it home because that's already happened.
And it's the like, well, yeah, you already. It's amazing that you defeated Billy Joel and Dick Van.
Dyke and Dick Van I defeated him.
He's yes, you finally defeated.
I told Chris. I'm like, if Dick Van Dyke is there and I win, I'm gonna sleep give it to him, Like, don't make this ninety nine year old man go to the Creative Arts Emmys and don't give it to him.
Maybe you won't be there.
I'm hoping he won't be there because I am gonna win, and I don't want him to have gotten embarrassing. It's so funny, though, that we really like prioritize time, at least for me. Like when I see old people doing things that are trivial or like meaningless, I'm always like, no, like, go do anything else, but listen to this person tell you the specials of the day, Like I don't waste old people's time, you know, because they don't have much.
I'm always like, don't, I don't. I don't don't bother them with an interview, like don't bother.
Old I get that.
For Dick Van Dyke, it doesn't matter because it's all the same. We can all die tomorrow and our lives are all They've had a bunch of life before this, so it's okay to waste old people's time.
I think that if you're not a famous person, if you're a regular old person, from what I've seen in my experience, there's nothing that you want more than to have your time wasted by somebody because of loneliness.
Oh that's a good point. O.
People in my neighborhood will oh love if you just stop them and start talking to them about whatever.
That's so true, that's so true. They don't see people.
I guess I'm talking about famous old people.
Yeah, for famous people like that alone.
But they probably still know there's Yeah, they absolutely like to stay active.
You're right.
That's me projecting some bullshit of my own. So, Dick Vandyke, you know what, I hope you go, and I hope you lose, and I hope you have a great time, because guess what, you're used to losing. You've been in this business forever. You've had so many ups and downs. What's another down for you at the age of ninety nine? Why do we have to give? Why should he win just because he's ninety nine. I mean that isn't if the work is amazing. I think he's ninety nine.
Ninety nine, he's already winning. And he has a great book called Keep Moving, which explains his secret to longevity, which is a really great book, a really optimistic book that's just so good to read, especially if you're scared of dying. Dick Van, Keep Moving is like, okay, unbelievably.
Optod I'm going to read that, hopefully before I meet him. What do you know you're gonna be sitting next to no, But I do know the other people that were gonna
be there. So let's just run down this list. B Boy Victor Montalvo, Team USA and Olympian and bronze medal winner in Breaking a Break, Dancer Garcel Bouveau, Tempted by Love, Jonathan Bennett, Finding Mister Christmas, Mike Berbiglia, Danny Bowman, Love on the Spectrum, Danny, the Cartoon Are Animation, Danny, Oh my God, the Danny who was like, oh, do you have a job, and he goes, I work at Ralfse and she goes, oh, she dumps that guy because he works at ralph And she's like, now, how will that?
This one guy works at a trading card place. She's on a first date on Love on the Spectrum, and she's very into whoever she ends up with working in animation. Yes, this is important to her.
Yeah, that's all she cares about you.
Yeah, she's so adorable and she talks like a cartoon character. She's so cute and so smart and so funny. I cannot wait to meet her. This is so exciting. I did not even put this together. But she's on a date with this guy, a first date, and he works at like, you know, Spalding or something for like trading cards I don't know, like baseball cards. And he loves his job. He's talking about how much, how rewarding it is. He's he's an autistic. He's on the spectrum as well.
He's a great job. And she goes, that's great, Now, how will that? How will you transition into animation? And like he goes, oh, that's an interesting question. He's not even thinking about animation, and she's like really considering LeVar Burton Maskim shirm Kovski from So You Think You Could Dance? Barbara Corcoran, Oh wait a second, okay, let me just tell you who else is gonna be there? And then I'm gonna get back to Barbara Corcoran because it reminded
me of a huge thing. Mark Cuban, Matt Friend, Loury Grenier. Dad's gonna meet Shark.
Yeah.
Robert Hirshevik famously married his Dancing with the co star Dancing with the Star's partner who he fell in love with, Derek Huff. Kristin Kish from Top Chef, Lucy Lou don't even think she won't be there, Jane Lynch, I love Jane Lynch, Are Automatox, Vander Pump Katie Maloney from Vander Pump. I don't know who she is, but I'm excited. Take Nataro, Kevin O'Leary, mister wonderful. Yeah, and Hadding what Hannah watting Wattingham from Tolaso. Oh, this is a good group. I'm
gonna get to meet these people. I'm gonna be.
People are presenting with them.
I think they are. These are oh yeah, these are presenters.
Yeah, these are the presenters at the Creative Arts Emmys this weekend.
Yes, this weekend on Saturday, and I think it will air.
In Hollywood or somewhere else.
I don't know. I think downtown. I don't remember honestly where it was, because you just like get in a car and they drive you and then you show up. Okay, we're gonna go to break and I'm gonna talk to you about what Barbara Corcoran's name reminded me of. And you, guys, I don't even know if I'm going to reveal this, but I have to. Okay, we'll be back up with
this final thought. Okay, guys, I fout. Okay, so I follow most of my Instagram feed is Taylor Swift stuff, just different accounts I follow that's showing different Taylor Swift stuff. And last night an alert came up that the apartment she the townhouse she rented for a month or so on Cornelia Street is available for rent, and I go, I'm going, And this is an album. If you don't know, she like pretty much wrote the Lover album about this house.
And there's this famous song called Cornelia Street that's about this apartment on Cornelia Street. It's just like it's it's as if you were It's like Abbey Road for Beatles. It's like I'm trying to think of like placing.
It's like.
Joni Mitchell, Laurel Canyon, Bungalow. I'm trying to think of the Chelsea Hotel. Uh, this is like an iconic place first New York.
Right in New York.
I've definitely the Home Alone House Thank You We're that amazing album was recorded, So I I've seen this place before obviously. Actually, Anya has a producer friend who lived whose family owns a place next door. So I was like next door to Cornelia Street. But it's like if you go there any day in Manhattan, it's like in the village. If you go there, there's people taking pictures outside.
It's like really really famous. It was we went to Cornelia Street in Zurich, No, sorry, in Vienna when the camp that's where everyone gathered when the concert was canceled to a place that was just named the same as this street in New York. So this place is up for rent. It's insanely expensive, but I definitely messaged the broker yesterday and I talked to Chris, and I was like, Chris, can we rent this place for the summer? Is it pass?
What summer?
Next summer?
Okay?
Because it becomes available in April, okay, And I'm sure I'm I'm very late on the list of people who want to rent this place, But tell me, do you think it? Will you know that I don't have great dreams of being friends with Taylor Swift. I just like my relationship as it is as a fan. But will this completely ruin any chance of being friends with her? If I happened to rent the place where one of my favorite albums was made, Like, would.
That creep you out?
If you were her? I know, would you just keep me at an arms distance to be like, you rented my apartment because it's not about like me, like smelling the sheets and being like this is the floorboards where she walked. I just it's a cool apartment and it's just a cool, funny thing to do, and it's awesome, and it's in the best place, and it's Cornelia straight. If you're Swift, do you get it?
I don't think there's anything that you could do to creep her out. If she's not already creeped out, like which she was going to be creeped out, she'd be creeped out by you.
That's a really good point. That's a really really good point. I just feel like that could be the nail in the coffin of her being like, I don't want this girl anywhere near me because that's like next level weird. Yeah, because I could see myself even being like if someone wanted to like rent out my childhood home or something because they're like, I just love Nicky Glazer so much I want I can understand a fan wanting to do that because I'd want to stay at tailors with childhood home.
But it might be the thing that makes me go, you know what, I don't I never will be able to get fully close to this person because they're too wackado.
But I but is she friends with anyone that like is an ultra fan of her? I mean, is is one of us anything?
Like she knows all the lyrics and she's like, she's a pretty big fan. I think Blake Lively is also a pretty big fan through being friends with her, I think, but they they do definitely have the same kind of a.
Fair friends with her before they became super fans.
I don't know about that. I think I think Gigi's a little bit of both. But because they became friends around the same era that I fell in love with, Taylor's like her music in nineteen eighty nine, so I think it was like, you.
Know both, Can you disclose the price the rent?
Yeah?
I mean this is disgusting and I'm really sorry to everyone who's like trying to make rent.
And before you say this, just keep in mind this is in Manhattan, in a very nice neighborhood in Manhattan, so this is going to be way more expensive.
And I want to just how the apartment. It's huge as a swimming pool in it. Oh my god, okay, a town apartment.
Yeah, it's like an unimaginably nice place in Manhattan, which is already expensive if you want to live in a shoe box.
I don't even know it is fifty grand a month, but I'm guessing it's going to go up once.
Based on demand. Yeah, fifty grand a month actually doesn't sound so crazy for an apartment in a great neighborhood in Manhattan with a swimming pool in it.
So this is really alarming to me that I would ever entertain this, And I know it seems just insane in such a waste, but I think it would be a place that I would like have people come visit and stay, like other swifties. That would really appreciate it, like I would share this. Swifties were joking like let's all pull together and have like a thousand of us all live here together, and that would be empty bucks.
Yeah, but.
I just think it would be like it's just like a fun thing and and it really is. A Lover is like my favorite album and just being in that. I don't know, I just think it would be funny. I mean, I guess talking about it right now is is funny enough that I would entertain it. But I think would you would come visit?
Right?
Hell?
Yeah?
Yeah, it's just turn it into a museum.
They really should. I mean, honestly they should.
That's around where they have the Old Tenants Museum or whatever it's called, where people the Borders Museum, if it's called, where people used to live in this cramped conditions as immigrants coming into America, and they show you. You get to go into this like apartment building and you get to see how tiny the rooms were and how everyone had to live when they were poor immigrants in like the os there.
We went to the fucking Freud Museum, and that was just walking through an old apartment with no furniture in it.
With Yeah, Taylor Swift's gonna have a museum at some point, Dolly Parton Elvis. There's tons of musicians who have museums in their childhood homes and stuff like that.
Well, I did write to the realtor last night on Instagram and say I'm interested in renting Cornelia Street because I'm just like, I this.
Is what I want to do, Because are you honestly for girls trip? I'm looking at the there's an article in the Business Insider that shows you the interior.
Great, and by then you and Kirsten will be able to get away from your babies a little bit. Even even Sara Lena, who's who's giving birth in a month, might by by like next June. Yeah, be able to get away for a week end for sure. Oh my god, bring the babies. Why not all my friends smell like weed or little babies Lyric in Florida. Yeah, So I'm I'm considering that. Wow, and love it I that that would that would really that would that would complete my life.
I think after Eras, I need to look forward to something new Taylor Swift related, because Eras is ending, and I think that might be it, even though that seems insane, what do you think, Lauren, I I think it's I think it's cool.
I mean, why not, it's if the only if, the only thing you're afraid of is that she's gonna think you're a freak.
No, I'm afraid of like spending that money that is just for a summer of my life.
Oh, it's three months you're gonna do.
I kind of want to do three months?
So what else would you spend one hundred and fifty k on? And is there anything that you can do extra to make the one hundred fifty k?
Just put it in like a CD or something. Just put an amount that will give you, like that half of the of a percentage back, and then by the time April comes around you could do it.
Can I put in a DVD, a Blu Ray? Okay?
I don't four over the course of a year, So.
You'd have to buy like a.
Right next to hers or something.
I don't know, maybe just a month, maybe not one hundred and fifty but maybe just a month. But I think just having a summer in New York where I'm like, oh, maybe I'll write a book in that place or something like, do something interesting.
Entertaining swifties the whole time. You're not gonna be happy, you know.
Girls, Swifties, you know, I'll have a speaker out the fucking window. I don't know. I will open up the museum over my stay, but respectfully, I will keep I will honor the premise. I will be a good tenant. But I think it's it's an I've floated it, and I know that's just it's just so it's embarrassing that amount of money to spend on something like that.
But people buy Bentley's, Yeah, Bentley across the six hundred.
People buymes bags, people buy Lubatons, people buy you know, people have kids again, people buys have kids, and they go, well, this brings me so much enjoyment. This would bring me as much as enjoyment as having a baby, like a really saturated amount of joy. I want to hard to leave, though, I probably.
I want to examine that though. Will the novelty wear off? How how long will it take before you're just living in an apartment?
No, it won't, I think it really won't. I'll just I'll have such a good time being there. And I think being in New York in the summer, like just taking a summer in New York. It will just be the greatest. I'll have to take off time from the road because I won't want to leave. It's I'll just do sets of the cellar.
How much money tied up in the apartment you stand?
Oh shit, I got to pay off that apartment. But I gotta do something. I'll be turning tricks on the corner of corner Industry and broom.
You're gonna be like teaching improv classes.
By the end of the I will charge for tours and I'll make that money back. Yeah, Okay, we're talking. No, there's a lot of good you can do with one hundred and fifty thousand dollars. And this is this is just a pipe dream, but it's one that I want to have. And I did recently say yes to something that I didn't want to say yes to that might pay for this, Okay, So that could be That's why you do those things.
Interesting.
Chris's birthday is tomorrow. I haven't gotten him anything. Well, I did, but I ordered a vintage shirt of I think Brian Adams.
I don't know.
I just like went through his records to see what music he likes, because I honestly don't know, because he likes soft rock a lot. And I went through his records and I saw Brian Adams and so I just typed in like vintage blank whatever air supply, whatever albums I found, and I found this cool Brian, And I'm sure that I hope, but it's not arriving to like after we leave town, so I don't have anything to give him tomorrow. I'll just like write a sincere card and is.
There anything you can get him? Like that's small, but get.
Him a little snack.
I could give him the tiniest blow drop, just a little blow dump, get him a snack. That's fun. He's trying to eat healthy now, he's like really shaping up. But we're going to celebrate tonight at the Pasta house. My dad is playing music, so we're like doing a pre like because tomorrow we have work to do. Brian will be there, but tomorrow we're working during his birthday. So we're gonna do something tonight at pasta house, maybe
playing a song on my guitar. That's the gift I can give him, is to not play on my guitar, not play a song. When dad goes, you will play song. I usually go yeah, I'll play one, and I play one, and I think I'll say no tonight for yes, yes, always say yes. I have a voice lessons, so reason I like to go really no, I mean a song with me because it would really take the pressure off me if we did a song together. Yeah, okay, can you do? But I love him?
Yeah?
Will you sing that with me tonight?
Sure?
I gotta go home, and I'm doing the abridged version. I cut the second verse and I go right into it. You'll figure it out. We can do that.
Yeah.
Well. Dedicated to Chris.
I'm always very jealous of these amazing family moment the tradition you guys have, being able to spend time with your family all together in one place every week really nice treasure these moments.
Get that Cornelia Street and I bust out.
Of Happy Birthday to Chris. And also, by the time we talk to the besties next, you will have your Emmy.
I will be sitting with the Emmy in my goddamn lap the next time you see me. I haven't worked on my speech yet, but I think I know what I'm gonna say. Like, I have a couple of lines I am going to work on it. I'm not gonna be one of those people that's like just forgetting names and stuff. I'm gonna try to think of something funny to say. I'm going to try to make it quick and poignant, and I am gonna work on it before though, because I'm gonna win, and so I need to I
need to say something great. Question.
So the award that you're being nominated for is the televised version of the Emmys or it's this creative.
I think it's televised on FXX. But the televised Emmys that happens on it's not gonna be on that part ABC. I think no, it's not gonna be on that part that is the next week And I'm also going to that. I hope, I don't. I don't even know if I'm going to that one. I'm like holding out that then maybe they asked me to present or something. But I'm just going to I'm staying in La to go to all the parties that follow up. I'm going to like five different parties. It's insane. It's gonna be fun, but
it's Dad going with no Dad. That's the next weekend. But we'll go to a couple of parties, because there are parties after this put this weekend, so we report on all that next week. I'll see you then with my emmy. Thank you for listening more and thank you for being here. Thank you, Brian said you, Noah, don't be cid and bye. The Nicky Glazer Podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Podcasts. Created and hosted by me Nicki Glazer, co hosted by
Brian Frangie. Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonny and Noah Avior edited it engineered by Lean and Loaf, video production Mark Canton, and music by Anya Marina. You can now watch full episodes of the Nicki Glazer Podcast on YouTube, follow at Nicki Glazer Pod and subscribe to our channel