The Nikki Gliser Pugain, Niki Gleser pos Hello here, I An and welcome to the show. It's Niklaser Podcast. Sorry for that graveliness in my voice. Don't know what's going on. It's a great new week of the show. This is a very exciting episode. Brian Frangie is here. What's up, Brian?
What's up? I don't know nothing. I mean, there's so many things going on. There's so many things going on in the country right now. But other than that, so many I mean, it's pretty wild. This is a historic time and I don't think we've ever lived through something quite as tumultuous. I saw them.
It was about like how this is going to be the hardest part of the ap like GOV exam in twenty fifty two or whatever, Like this is going to be the one that's we'll really get you.
No, I think about that like that there's going to be students ten years from now who are going to have to like learn about nine to eleven.
Oh, like they're not teaching it yet, you don't think.
I mean no, I don't think so. They're still trying to cover it up. But I think ten years from now, when things get more free. I think, I think it is my favorite day. That would be my favorite.
Week of school is the day we learn about nine to eleven. Let's get speaking of nine to eleven, let's get into this conversation. He is one of the funniest people I know. He and we had a podcast together with Brian Frangie. It was my second podcast of my life, and this is I think my fifth. But he is so funny. He has a special on YouTube and I didn't look up the name Dan.
I'm so sorry, Dance Fatty Dance.
Dance Fatty Dance. How could you forget that? It's Dan Saint Jermaine. Everyone Hello. We had a podcast, all three of us back in the back in the.
Day, all so called Dance Patty Dance. It was Dance Patty Dance with Nikki Glazer.
Yeah, it was nick It was Nicky's three hundred pound period. She was quite.
Yeah, we were. We We all worked on Not Safe, which is the show that I hosted on Comedy Central, and and we had the not Safe podcast, which was the companion podcast to the show. Uh, that's when shows were a bigger deal than podcasts.
Yeah, soon you're gonna have to be like.
You get a show with the podcast that's so crazy, you're.
On this network called Comedy Central. To that point, do you know that.
Comedy Central has three, like three shows? I think, Brian, you were the.
One that They've got four shows, Daily.
Show, South Park, Aquafina, and one other.
Yeah, and it's a cartoon called.
Yeah.
Well not really not yet, but that's still one of their shows technically because it's not canceled. Yeah. No, Comedy Central is going extinct. And they've I mean probably out of all the channels on cable, they're the ones who sacrificed the most collateral that they had out of any channel because they were they owned comedy and somehow they just gave it up. They just decided, we're not going to do anything anymore and let Netflix and Amazon something.
They didn't try, Like where did it fail? You think?
I think they stopped trying. They stopped developing shows, they stopped investing in comedy, they stopped doing stand up specials, they stopped it is.
This just okay, This is what whenever a business starts to go bad, right, and things happen. I always just look to like the people working there weren't being paid enough to like be passionate about it to make it work. Like, isn't that really the underlying issue with everything? When something's like you go to a restaurant, you're like, it sucks. It's like they're not paying people enough, so it should suck. Is that the issue?
That's part of the issue. But I also point to leadership. I think we know from Not Safe that viacom never look toward the Internet for any reason. If you were called not Safe, wouldn't go on Hulu for like three months until after it aired there was and they're very limited in what you could put on YouTube. They had no respect for the Internet. And I think that ultimately is the thing that because they were also the latest of the game to get a streamer, to get close to a streamer, and I.
Relate though, I relate to like resisting everything that the new people are doing and hoping that it's a fad that like passes, or that somehow you'll like survive it. You'll be the one who doesn't do it, and so that makes you stand out. But then you just ultimately give in and start a TikTok exactly.
Yeah, that's exactly what I did. Yeah, I mean, you just got.
To give in eventually, and then it.
Gets banned and you're like, why do not even try?
I mean, Dan, are you on TikTok?
I am, but I might get a My social media is at like sets your ceiling. It's like like twenty one k Instagram, fifty TikTok and it get that up, get up.
To twenty to negative thirty today. He won't lose fifty followers to lose thirty. No, it's yeah, you hit a ceiling and then like are you trying though? Do you like did you hire people?
Like? I mean, I can't afford anyone to hire, but I do three videos a week and I whoa wow, Like I cut up all my stuff. I just realized that this was recording our entire pot so in scripts, so oh god, all of our podcasts was on my iPhone right now.
I love when it does that, and then you look back and see what you're really how you're speaking and why is it that when you do speak into your phone and leave a text like they throw in commas everywhere, they're just so comma heavy.
Oh I don't know, I mean it's all demented. I did see a preview for horror movie Saturday. That was like, what if it was an egle evil alexis Alexa And I'm like, how did it take too long to figure that out? You know?
Isn't that just like two thousand and one? That's that's how?
Or the one where Scarlet Johansson's the voice, Well, that was great. I think she kind of turns. I think she gets like shell.
I don't really remember.
There's got to be a turn. It's a movie.
I just remember Jaquin Phoenix wanting to fuck that robot.
Do you want me to spoil the Yeah?
Please?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, one's that movie.
The ending of it, he realizes, because you know, she's aim at the end of it, he realizes that he's in love with her, but so are like twenty two thousand other people. Yeah, reveal is that like she's been doing this with a bunch of people at the same time.
It's like dating Tristan Thompson realizing there's so many girls who feel the same way about this person. That's like being a sister wife. Though, like I think you'd make peace with it, you'd you'd convince yourself. I have a different like relationship. I don't know. I'm kind of like I think I could get on board with every like I share Taylor Swift with everyone, and I feel like.
You always have said that though, that you think you could be in I don't know if it's polyamory.
Or it's competitive and I will win. I always thought I wasn't competitive, but man, am I one of the most competitive people alive.
You cannot do as well as you've done comedy with a little bit.
I always just thought it was such a bad thing to be, but now I'm tapping into it. Like I never whenever I worked out, I always hired trainers because I was like, I don't want to feel like insecure next to other I don't want to go to classes. I always was like, I'll never do a class because I just don't want to feel pressure to do better than the other girls next to me. Equals Nikki, you're competitive, Like why would that even be a problem. But then when I get in there, I do so much better
because of that. Yeah, so I'm just kind of leaning into it. I gotta like start, I got I gotta find ways to be more competitive, even though it seems to have a negative kind of ration.
Tapping into what drives you as a three as an enneagram three.
Yeah, that's right.
He's surrounded by people watching you succeed. U is the key to your drive?
Yeah, I wish I could be like Anya. Like the one night I asked Anya, like, why do you if you're not a three? Because I was just so confused how an artist could not be an anagram three, which Dan that means, like the reason you feel valued is if you are important and people are like, wow, you're good at this thing. Like that's how that's what drives your whole life. Is generally whatever your parents instilled in you is important.
Yeah, you will weird.
Yeah, And so I'm like, oh, all artists must be threes because why would you do this otherwise? Because I'm just like thinking from my own perspective of like, yeah, there's probably like ten percent of me that's like I have something to say and I want to put it out there and like make people feel less alone. Yeah, that's a part of it, but it's I think it's mainly like, is is my life worth anything?
Like?
And why am I here? Because alternative is I have to have kids or some shit, and I don't want to do that, so I'd rather it is really hard.
I think with sports, sometimes you can have somebody who's just naturally super gifted, and yeah it doesn't and isn't competitive, Like the guy who was on the Dolphins, like Ricky Henderson, I think his name is he get.
Like mmmm, he kept getting kicked out of the league because they smelled weed oh, because he.
Just wasn't like he didn't care about staying in.
But he was an amazing athlete. Like it was one of those things where it's like, I do.
Think that that can happen with Ricky Williams.
Stand up because like almost like how many Savadds have you known in stand up?
It's not a thing. I mean Chappelle, yeah, yeah, one or two and Carlin, but even Carlin worked so fucking hard, and Spille works hard to I don't really know what his method is, but I'm dying to know. At some point. You're right, like I was thinking about, stand Up's the only thing that there aren't that many people that are just like born gifted. I think that talent, as we all know, is like half just like a gift, and then the other half is usually hard work or more than half.
That's why stand up is like the most beautiful art form it's because no matter how gifted you are, there's no good child who does stand up. Yeah, you can't be a funny child stand up.
That's why I like it too. Yeah, you can't start early, so everyone kind of starts as an adult, which any other art you just I had to pursue in life. If you started as an adult, you are way behind. Wow, you're fucked because you didn't have a parent that directed you earlier. Where you're gonna get those ten thousand hours so much faster. Yeah, we all kind of started the same,
even like with stand up. I started at eighteen, and people were like, oh my god, so jealous you started so young, and I was like, yes, I'm so glad I got those extra four years or whatever it was that it took other people. It's so crucial because you was that, what, well.
You're nervous when you got on stage.
Or no, No, I mean I was. I overcame my stage fright when I was in seventh grade because I knew that I wanted to be on TV and that was the only thing that I cared about, or like being famous, and so I had really bad stage fright. But I just was like, you, like, there's not a choice,
like you just have to overcome it. So I just signed up for a play and and prior to that, though, I would have to like give presentations during recess for my teacher alone because I would just shake in front of the class so visibly that it would like it was it was, it was Yeah, it was like I felt like a handicap that I had to like get over to do what I wanted to do, and I just had to do it. But by the time I was doing stand up, I mean, yeah, I still get nervous.
Do you guys still get nervous? I mean, it just is manifest in different ways.
I guess, you know, I think it's you know what
I was thinking. I was I was hanging out. I went to a movie with Ari Shaffir on Saturday, and he was talking about like he's I think he's moving to another city and like that would scare me, like he's moving to another country and that would scare me to like start doing stand up and like fucking England or something like that here, right, yeah, yeah, and uh yeah, so that would be like like like truly fish out of water, that would be that would be kind of nerve wracking.
Why no, No, it shouldn't be because you're amazing and you're gonna show up on a scene where everyone is gonna anyone new when a scene, people go this guy sucks and then you don't suck, and so that's like a setup for like being especially at our level, like the top dog on a new scene. I think that would be not intimidating. But I just get nervous when I'm not prepared. But I am not prepared ninety percent of the time, and I think that if I'm prepared,
like for the roast, I was not nervous. I was calm. I was only nervous because of the Kevin Hart joke that he had done that was like my joke. That was the only thing that I was like ugh. But I was like so calm because I had just done that set a million times and there was no way that I was gonna fuck it up because it was
I was. I felt so prepared. But if I'm like going into something where I'm like, yeah, I think I'll remember to say that line and I'll like I just even this weekend, like I've been trying to do some like old like roast jokes that didn't make it like in my set and I saw a picture of myself on stage with my phone like reading the roast jokes, and I was like, that's not a good look unless you're at the show. It looks like I'm just like
looking at my notes at this theater show. So I was like, okay, I got to memorize the roast joke. I have to memorize a new roast set. And just having that in my back pocket even though I didn't even remember to do it, I was like, I prepared and I memorized something beforehand. I went into shows this weekend so much more confident. But it's like, I'm so rarely memorized and prepared. I really, I said, I don't do that for myself enough. Do you do you guys? Relate to that?
I mean I could, I just you know, I have no like if my problem is I write a lot of stand up, but like if it doesn't work once, I usually throw it out.
Where do when do you write stand up? What are you doing?
I usually do Monday, Mondays or Tuesdays. I'll write two pages single space times new Roman?
And is it all funny? Are you like writing? I'm not even of course, it's not all funny, But are you writing like stuff that is intentionally like not funny? Are you kind of trying to adapt it to a stand up voice?
It's different the week I'll try to like write down premises, like if I get an idea and.
Then yeah, money, and then you go on write.
I mean, any anyone who's listening to when I say comedy, you should write it out immediately because sometimes then you get back to it and you're like, well, I don't know how to say this.
Yeah, well okay, that's.
I'm also but that's the way I do it. And I'm wayless prolific as a stand up than you. So it's like, I don't know whatever way you're doing it.
I just go on stage all the time, right, every single lot.
I mean, I mean I don't much as you, but I go on a lot and I've only done you know too well. Part of it too is nobody's paid me to do it.
But yeah, you're doing spots for fifteen minutes, you know, like you're doing small I'm doing hours every weekend. It's like it just it affords you more opportunity to fill up the space with something to play around. Yeah, but I I saw I was watching this on there's like this new documentary on Netflix about receivers, like football receivers.
All that the beginning of the first one.
It's good. I liked it a lot.
You guys do a good job.
Yeah.
So it's Quarterbacks one too.
I got to watch all of it because I'm just trying to get into football.
That one's hilarious because it's just you love this one part of it, Nikki, because it's just Patrick Mahomes being miserable to be with his family. Like you could tell all he wants to do is play football. Like he's at like this fucking like you know, like Knoxbury Farm Halloween thing with his wife, and you just see like just the morose sorrow in his eye for having to like run with his kids around on this crow. Because all that guy wants to be doing is playing football
and getting drawn. I mean, like every conversation that guy has is just like football, yeah, football, drinking.
Well, he was opposite on the receivers one because the guy had a baby and now he plays better. I forgot his name, Debo, He's amazing. Yeah, But there was there's one guy I forget his name, Damn it, but he he plays for the Lions. He's a receiver. Maybe him, yeah, Saint Brown. He his dad was like mister Universe like two times in a row, and so he instilled in.
He was like, you know, got him started early. Like there's footage of him as a young kid being like, we're gonna make it to the NFL, you know, like this was the goal. And but they continue to kind of like live like that. Like there was a din they went to a family dinner the night before a game and his dad was like, so, what are your goals for tomorrow?
Sun?
And he was like, well, to touchdowns. So he goes, that should be able to happen if the opportunity that's that's gonna be an easy goal. And I was like, that's very interesting to ask your goals for tomorrow, Like just ask someone of their goals for like the day. And I was like, I'm gonna do that, Like I'm gonna tomorrow, I'm gonna goal it out. So this morning I like wrote goals down because I don't like big picture goals, but like for the day, I mean, it's
basically to do list. Have you heard of them? People do them all the time. I've never maybe have done them.
Daily goals that will lead you to a larger goal ultimately, Yeah, yes, I do week.
Every week, I have a list of Yeah, I try to do it, although but it doesn't like work. Now it gets crossed off that list like that, I do what I want to do still.
And I wind up spending more time writing the list than doing the things on the list. Oh yeah, every day I'm like, I gotta do my to do list, and then I check that off my to do list. Just to write a to do list.
Get through when you're truly paralyzed, like you know you need to do something and you were just like I can't, I don't want to. I just do you just not do it? Or like, how do you push past that? Because I don't think I have unless there's like a deadline and people are going to be severely disappointed in me. I will wheasel out of just about anything.
Well, it depends what it is. But one method that psychologists say works is the five minute rule where you say I'll just work on this for five minutes and that's all, and then usually that tricks you into being like, oh, now that I've worked on it for five minutes. I can work on it for ten minutes, but usually for me, I work on for five minutes. And I say, like, I didn't it was useless. Yeah, even the five minutes I did was useless. And then I stopped.
Yeah, I I've got some of my goals done today. And man, the best thing happened. I was supposed to do a podcast appearance at like four o'clock and it canceled, and that happens, But man, that was four pm. What kind of yeah new podcast and whatever country is?
Yeah, fo Nikki shit tight.
I I just am so excited that this hour opened up in my day. It's more room for my goals.
Man, So what did you do? What did you fill it with?
Well, I haven't I don't know yet. Well, the thing is, Chris was supposed to be out because I was gonna do the podcast from my kitchen because it's like a nice background. It kind of fits in with the rest of the aesthetic of their podcast. And I was like, Chris be out for four between four and five fifteen, And I got to be honest, I haven't told him it's canceled yet because I'm like, what am I gonna
do with that? Like I can just do anything, and not that i'd need him, he would go anywhere anytime. But I am excited about this free space in my life that's opening up, even though the rest of my day is free. By the way, I'm not like there's nothing I have to do after this podcast, but now, like just that long thing, that block was kind of like hanging over me.
And now, remember Nikki, when you like it was like there was like a pan on Chris's phone that you had and you like want and he didn't know that you had it. Yeah, you were like checking out where he went. But it was like every day it was Little Caesar's.
Work and Little Caesar's and maybe home depot sometimes. Yeah, because I it was just when Fine my friends was coming out and someone told me about it that we were all at this like long table at dinner after a show. Yeah, and I go, Chris, except what I just sent you and he just blindly is in conversation with someone just accepts it, and I'm like tracking him And then I like tracked him for so long and I would like plan being gross around when he was
like gone. It was it was really worked out. But now we don't track each other anymore. I just feel like I know that he's just not into that, even though I do want to know all the time, Like how long I have even though I'm not doing anything bad.
You have the pizza tracker now, and that's all you really need.
Yeah, that's he doesn't. Yeah, it's yeah, because the Little Caesars called back. I get it. I get it.
Not even Dan, what was that?
It was a little confused because because I'm such a fact, I'm like.
The Pizza Hut. Pizza Hut does pizza trackers. I can see how that could be confusing.
All Right, we're gonna go to break and we're gonna come back with more dancing Germaine, which he has a YouTube comedy special out that is so fucking funny. I did watch it, Dan, I watched like three fourths of it, which is like a lot for me. And I think I quick because I got distracted, not because I watched yours too.
Your I was yeah. I mean, like I thought as far as special as it was like you and Dan, and I thought Collins was really good too, But that was it was.
Man. Well, I am nominated for an Emmy. We'll talk about that when you get that.
Yeah, I forgot about that.
When Dan stops talking. Okay, we're back. Thanks Dan. That was really nice of you to say that about my special.
Yeah.
I like your special lot too. It's called run, Fatty Run? Is that it?
Where do you film this special?
Brooklyn Comedy Club Old Man Hustle? But I think that they're closing down.
I was confusing to sign it to the background. I was like, it's his special called old Man Hustle because it's like a prominent sign.
That was so like, uh, you know, I went on Mayor and My Man. The first thing Mary goes was it like unfinished? I'm like, no, it wasn't unfinished.
Alright, all right, active wherever you are?
Dan?
Moving around a lot?
I know I move around a lot.
Yeah, it's your thing.
Yeah, I move around. I'm saying, but fat.
Where were you guys this weekend when the when the news dropped about Biden.
I was on a lovely little excursion to City Island with my wife and cute.
What's that? What does that?
What do you?
What's City Island?
It's I guess it's off this It's it's in New York. It's like off the city. But it's like next time, in New York if you're looking for like a day trip in the summer, they have like all a little likes.
Yeah, and what do you do? What do you do when you walk on you just walk with the dog on the island.
Well, we went to a dog park first, and we went to a park and we walked for that and then we you know.
It's City Island different than Governor's Island or is it rebrand?
I think is different because Governor's Island there's no cars on it.
You have to take a ferry to get there.
Yeah, okay, drive City Island.
When you're just hanging out with your wife all day, both of you like who's doing most of the talking?
Like my wife?
What really?
I talk a lot, but like and everyone you had before this, I was the talker, but my wife talks way more than me.
Okay, And are you listening? Do you like that?
Not all the time? Yeah, but I like the you know what, I never have to fucking worry about. You know, this is what I love my wife is even if I get annoyed if she's like sometimes, you know, I have a relationship you need to break. Like I've never had to play the game when I've dated other girls of like, oh god, is she pissed? What did that mean?
Why?
Why? You know? My wife like all immediately one time I was like, are you annoyed? She was, yeah, you know what, I am a little fucking pissed.
Okay, Yeah, it's the best.
You know exactly. And so I'd rather have that because yeah, I'm a little more passive aggressive, and my wife has to like figure me out.
There's nothing worse than than someone who you know, isn't like mad about something, who won't admit it and is just like trying to is just being passive aggressive about it. It's like it's such a prison, and it is nice when someone is just so transparent and like can say it right away. Chris and I have like worked really hard to say immediately when something is like bothering us.
We've gotten pretty good at it, like to the point that I think before I used to always worry is something I said, like if his mood would change a little bit, And now I'm like, he'll just I think I trust him just to tell me now. And so I don't like panic as much. But I don't know what he'd say for if i'd talk them he'd probably say that I talk way more than he does. But they're like, Brian, what about you? And Ali? Who's doing most of the talking?
Definitely me? I mean I frequently will just be like pacing back and forth in the living room while she sits on the couch and listens to my like seminar and she called them seminars.
Now will she be able to be on her phone during this? Like I want to know the vibe of like, I'm same with you, Dan, are you able to be on your phone like half listening? Like because my partner does not care if I'm like multitasking listening to him, and I'm so grateful for that.
It just depends on the situation. Yea Friday night, I made us put our our phones down, I mean Saturday night because we watched a movie I love. And I was like, we have to put our phone?
What movie?
No Country for Old Man?
Oh?
Yeah, I was like, this one is not a phone movie, you know. But for the most part, I'm five with it.
I only know that movie from the Wikipedia. It is too scary for me to watch, so I've read the plot a lot in Wikipedia, and I don't it's not Wikipedia plots they need some help people get in there.
Yeah, help out.
They are really I think they're they're they're not. I can't follow it enough.
And Wikipedia is really good for describing historical events, which is similar to a plot. Is wick Wikipedia is good that it's not good at regular plots. And it's also, by the way, awful. If anyone looks up Wikipedia for medical advice or to explain a disease, it's that might be the worst place to I'd rather you go to Cura whatever, however, you say that, Oh yeah, then go to Wikipedia.
Cora where every answer is an ad Yeah, yeah.
That makes no sense, no sense, you know on Cura where you you google a question and there.
You can't even get right sticky okay, So yeah you okay, So you ask.
And then you go down and then there's more questions that you're like, I'm interested in these questions, and then you click on the questions like answer, and then you click on the question and it goes. You need to sign up if you want to read the answer to these questions.
It'll be a question and then there will be no answer. There'll be more questions with commentary but no answer. I'm like, just the point of this website is to have a question and then like crowdsource answers, it's a mess.
Ready are you?
What about you? Is Ali allowed to be on her phone when you're I have it.
I have been annoyed by her going on her phone during a conversation before and pointed it out, and then she generally, I mean it just it just depends on the situation. Like sometimes I'll just like come in guns blazing while she's like working, and I'll be like and then they said this, and she's like, I don't even know what you're talking about. I'm trying to write a work email. And now those instances, I can see how
I'm wrong. But then sometimes we're like just like went to dinner and we're having like a conversation and she doesn't go on her phone, but she she'll get she'll be interested in something else and then point it out.
Like I'll be like talking to her about like, yeah, I'm having this problem with I can't get an appointment with the doctor, and she'll go a full moon and I'll be like I'm talking to you about the doctor and she's like, oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, and they'll be like yeah, and then the doctor goes like that and and then she's like, oh my god, a bug, And I'm like, Ali, can we just can you respond to what I'm saying? So sometimes that happens.
I feel really bad for people who have no one but their partner to talk to you, because a partner can't handle all of that. And I know both of you are pretty good about having friendships, yes, but there are some dudes out there and women with no one but their partner to bitch about their life too.
Yeah, got it.
You gotta try, like you gotta like you know, one of the things that I've been doing this is so sad, Nikki, But like, Okay, next time I see you, Nikki, and like, if we go to coffee or dinner right and just hang out, yeah, I will. Then I have a twenty twenty four list, I will write that hangout down just prove that I have some social life. Yeah, okay, I did a family reading this because I have like the
things that I need to do for the year. But then I'll be like, okay, but I also did this socially to know that I hung out and I'm not.
Just was this always a thing for you that you were tracking your social hangouts.
Last company. I'm very I'm OCD, and it's like the one thing about my OCD is that I make I make lists a lot. I used to get like, this is the stupid, Like when I was like smoking shitloads of weed during COVID, I would be like, Oh, I'm gonna write down all the movies I've ever seen, like high as fun, just writing down every movie I could think of that I saw. And I'm like, who is this for? What?
Yeah, list feel good to make for some reason. They're satisfying, but I'm wondering about this, like tracking your hangouts. So this was something that you were like, I'm having a deficit in my life of like social hangs because do not live by people that you.
I think that it's very it's very simple, it's very easy, and this is for all of us. And Brian, I don't know how much stand up you're doing right now, but like if when you're doing a lot of stand up and you your whole fucking thing is to be around people every night when you have a night off, your thing is thank god, I can just be home with my wife. So I try to, and I still
usually when I don't have shows. I don't want to go out, but like, you know, it's like, all right, tomorrow night, I'm gonna try to, you know, get dinner with fucking Di Stefano before my show. You know. Yeah, I try to do stuff like that, but like, yeah, it's it's tough, man, because I'm an isolator. You know, I'm very I'm like a I'm like a introvert in extrovert clothing, you know.
So yeah, but you know that it makes you feel better when you hang out with people, So you're forcing yourself to do it, and you got to make your little list.
You gotta picture it's the right person. Sometimes they'll hang out with a friend and I'm like, oh, I think I.
Yeah, it just likes when you fall into a habit of like, oh, I just like to hang out with my dog and Chris and that's all I want to do is just watch TV on the couch and not
do anything. Like last night, Chris went to a concert mates of State, and I was gonna go, but I'd just gotten back in town and I'm like, I think I just want to stay in And then the whole time I'm home, I'm just like regretting that I didn't go out and support live music, and that I was then, you know, I didn't really get anything.
Done more besides Taylor Swift though, Like, do you want to go to like, yeah, fucking Terminal five and wait till band you way, No, I.
Want to go late and just see a couple songs and just get a sense of the performance and maybe learn something about what I should do on stage or how I should be with my fans, Like try to glean something from the performance aspect of it, especially since I'm trying to do music.
Huh, so you do that? Who are the musicians that you're like, Oh, okay, I can.
I mean Taylor Swift's the one that obviously I've seen sixty hours of in the last fifteen months, so it's like I've studied her more than anyone. It's probably rubbing off on me, I hope a little bit. But I think you can learn something from anyone. Like even my dad. I go see him every Wednesday night at the Pasta House in Saint Louis on Woodlawn Road in kirkwad. Yeah,
my dad plays. He does like every Wednesday, plays in this like kind of atrium place and then a lot of times my mom and me and Chris and his family and maybe my mom's two friends are the only audience. But we just watched my dad play for like five people, and I'm like, this is all and we can talk during it because we don't respect him, you know, and and his art, so we just like talk and my dad plays over it. But my dad gets also also play, and we have moments and we clap after every song.
So it's like it's so fun. But I learned stuff from him too, of just.
Yeah, wholesome, cherished.
It's my favorite thing. I almost don't even say on the podcast because I don't want too many people going to it and I don't want it to turn into something where I have to like be something I'm not because I just want to go and like eat salad and uh fried portobellos and just listen to my dad. But it's so wholesome, it's like it will be the thing.
Chris and I had a moment where like this, these are the nights because our families are all there, The kids are there, like all our nieces and nephews are all playing and running around, and we're like, these are the nights. We'll think back on and be like, man, we really had it all, like it's it's weird to be like living in that and yeah it's my favorite thing. But yeah, I want to go see more. I want to you know what, I want to watch more stand up.
That's why I put That's why I watched your special, Dan. I was like looking for people who I admire and who are such great writers to like inspire me, and so I'm trying to watch more stand up. I was with a Spade this weekend at the Venetian, which was he was so fucking funny I can't even believe it. And it by the end of the week I was mind. Yeah, so I open the show because I don't want to follow that and I just want to enjoy his set
without thinking about mine. So it's just perfect. I bring him up and then I just sit back and laugh. But man, it it does rub off on me. Like I am kind of a sponge when it comes to things I admire, and I start kind of I don't steal their I don't plan on doing it, but it like I start kind of talking a little Spade like and like kind of make it like it happens. Actually, if I surround my if have to saturate myself in it.
So I've been trying to watch more stand up and I want to go see more stand up and force myself. But I'm not going to. But I see more stand up, I might watch it at home, a clip here and there, I give specials like six minutes, and then I ditch out.
But yeah, I.
Think that's fine though. I mean, I Spade, because Spade and you are so different, are different enough that like whatever whatever you take from him, yes, it would be enough of a spin. Like I get nerves, Like if I watch if I spent all day only watching like Kyle Kanane and Mike Lawrence, yeah, I would be nervous close to what you do. It was too close, I would probably or patent or something like that. Pat and
I are a lot different. But like if I'm watching, like that's why I like love watching people like Earthquake. Do you know what I mean?
Because you will pick up something.
Well, no, Earthquake actually stole Mysen, so I'm pretty pissed about that.
Yeah, I remember that you were you were first Earth.
Well do you guys feel like I'm guessing everyone feels this way. You gotta steal essences and and and not intentionally by the way, but like, I was watching Chad Daniels' special last night, which is really funny. It's on Netflix. Forget the name of it, but I think it's his first Netflix special. So fun est, empty Nest. Thank you, Chad Daniels. Check that out.
Check that guy.
He is such a great guy. And also I was telling Chris he's like the comedian that ever he's a comedians comedian like comedians know. He's like one of the best, certainly out of the Midwest, and like has stayed in the Midwest on purpose. And but anyway, he's so funny. And I was watching his thing and I was like, oh my god, I remember a time where every comedian that I knew was trying to sound like Chad Daniels, and even me probably.
Midwest you guys, Like there was like there's a he maybe I guess Shane is probably the most influential now because everyone's doing the same.
Thing with Oh my god, they're all doing the classmen in the hands. You're right, oh yeah, yes.
I'm like, oh man even noticed that.
Oh yeah, they do it. People do it a lot. But like, but Chad Daniels has inspired there's a Midwest great comedy writer, and I would like put that, put you in there. I would put like Greg Warren in there. I would put Tommy Johnigan in there. But it's a very like, hey, let's I'm comfortable on stage, but let's lean with fucking good let's lead with good jokes first, Yeah, and make this ship layered. And I feel like, yeah, he's he's he's like there's that's like the Midwest and
and ideally Midwest. My favorite audience is too because there's nothing to fucking do there, so you have to see Sam comedy.
Oh that's a good point. Yeah, I've never even thought about it that way. But yeah, I was talking to someone about the Kansas City comedy scene, this Mike bryden Stein right.
Out, Yeah, yeah, Mike.
Why am I saying his name weirdly? I don't. I didn't have much confidence in that, but I love Mike, and he was he's writing a book about the Kansas City comedy scene, and he's like, this is the craziest club I've ever heard about in all of my like research of comedy. The Stanford and Sons, which is the club I started at run by Craig Glazer. It's legendary
and it was. It made me feel pretty good. He's like, you started in the most insane time with the most insane club owners in the most toxic environment, and I'm like, I really did. I didn't realize it wasn't like that everywhere.
When I did that Sanfordson weekend. If you guys don't know, Sanford Soon was run by two brothers, one a heroin addict, one a cokehead, and the coke head picked me up, dropped an N bomb of meeting immediately, I said the.
Same thing on this Oh that was my first time ever hearing the N word in that from a white person. Like, honestly, I've never like where I was like, oh, you think this is okay to say? And I remember I felt horrible because I didn't say, like, hey, don't say that. But I was like twenty four and just eager for the gig. But I remember that was Craig Lazer was the first one to Yeah.
The ghost of Martin Luther King could come down to that guy and bag so you need to look still say the N word. I remember his whole thing. He's like his ration for me. He's like I'm allowed to say that. I'm allowed to say the N word, man, because I'm dating this black stripper.
Yeah.
He was always dating a black stripper. Yeah yeah, and would drive you around his little car. Loved spending time with comedians. You had to put in so much time with him.
And then as the club named after the show, yeah, I think, which is like a black show.
But but it was a play on the show because his dad's name was stan Stanford and so is it's not Stanford and says it's Stanford and Sons.
Yeah.
If you if you ever want to see a social media reaction of someone in comedy dying and no one giving his shit, oh it was that that guy died and it was like just a roast of him for like eight straight on Twitter.
Yeah I don't too.
He owes me Twitter fifty bucks.
So yeah, he owed a lot of people money. He was really nice to me and like when I was in the Kansas City scene, he took me out and got me on radio for the first time and got me all you know these spots. Never paid me for anything that I did, but you know, and build me as He would like put up posters to promote weekends I was MCing as like I'm the next Ellen Degenerous, which is so misleading, except that I will come out as gay someday.
But yeah, nothing about thing.
About us exceptly a blonde hair and we're white. Yeah it was and so but yeah, he helped me out a lot, but he was not a But get this, so he forever was talking about selling a script. You probably heard about it when you were there, right, Like, he wrote a book called The King of Sting about his coming up as a He would like propose as a cop doing stings and then rob people is essentially what he would do for years and years in his twenties.
And he wrote a whole book about it. And then he sold the script and Clint Eastwood was gonna make it, and it was always this like Brad Pitt's attached and we went and it was always falling through, and it was kind of like, what is this? Even this was before we could really have proof of anything happening. But he dies and then like two months later, the script is optioned and it is being made, and it's made by someone who's really I forget who's making it, but
someone who's done some shit. It's gonna be like a real movie that this guy his whole life lied about almost like lied and just like tried to get it made so much he wrote it actually, and apparently the script kind of because I go, I said to Mike, I go, are they gonna say this is a real story?
Because people were kind of calling the book bullshit, and it's just kind of gonna be presented as like it's gonna start out with Craig Glazer on the radio saying like it's a true story and people being like yeah, right, and he's like it all happened, and so it's gonna and the title card is like this, this is a true story, probably like it's but he's getting it made.
Wow. I had a friend of mine who's dead now, but he was. He would he was a Heroin addict and he would go into Camden and like shake heroin deal He would steal his brother's cop car, be his brother's a and he would shake down god heroin dealers to get heroin.
Which is did he die of heroin?
You know, I mean he's a pretty badass dude, but still I'm like, somebody's gonna kill you, dude.
Did he die of Heroin?
No? He he had real problems at the end of his life, but he had he had a leukemia at the end.
Oh my god, you really saw that going a different way.
Yes, So he wrote this book King of.
Yes, he wrote the Craig Lazer.
Okay, Craig Lazer, King of Sting and now he died and then someone else the book is really good.
Like he gave it to me and I was like, God, I have to read this fucking thing before I go back. Wow. And it is an actually compelling book. And I do believe it's a true story because I don't think he's this good at lying and being creative to come up with this this tale, because he wasn't like a creative force. He was just kind of like a marketing man machine.
And I mean it's a good idea for a movie.
Yeah, when you meet him and he's like, I pretended to be a cop to get money.
You like, yeah, it checks out, totally does. But I mean, Heroin's interesting because I don't I think I would probably do anything to get Heroin too. If I tried it. I'm almost you know what I mean, Like you see people pass it on the sidewalk and you're like, how could they do that, and you're like, because that's how good that thing is, That's how good that thing feels.
Right, Yeah, apparently, I mean, I mean I did you know, like last year when I was like relapsing after my mom died, I did oxy and it was the first I've done oxy a couple of times.
What do you mean by doing oxy? Just taking the pills or.
In a couple of pills. But because as somebody I guess had died of cancer, some left and it was a comic you gave me. But I was like I had it and I'm watching Deadwood and I'm like, Okay, I'm fine with this being the rest of my life. Wow, like just sitting here and like enjoying this feeling no ambition. It's but with no ambition, no ambition, you're just you're
just fine. The drugs that people are doing now, like when I was came back from rehab in December, the stuff that the kids are on now, it's all like end of life fetanyl shit, Like it's all the stuff like people who have cancer who have like two days left to live are using like and uh, and we can't hang like like nobody like if you tell those kids like, oh, you do heroin. They're like you pussy wow.
You know, It's like, yeah, I was really surprised to see so many, or at least maybe one or two to intervention episodes where the person was doing fentanyl And I'm like, wait, I thought ventanyl was the thing you accidentally do and then you die off. Like I didn't know you could actually do it and figure out a way to do it and keep living.
But we're doing it now. I mean, it's a hundred times more powerful than heroin, So it's what the fuck?
Man? Ugh, life is so hard. I will say though that I like, I love smoking weed, like it just like when I'm going through when I'm feeling anxious and there's really nothing that can maybe stop. I can almost relate to someone who like risks it all, like I will risk not at all, but I will risk showing up for something my best self, or I will risk having a sore throat because I just want the relief that I feel as soon as I get it right,
and then it eventually feels not good. And I'm kind of trying to like figure out what that relief is and I think I have it totally perfectly, Like I think I can describe it for people now like of what I feel, and it is the exact feeling I felt when I heard Joe Biden dropped out. I was relieved. I was a little bit like everything's fine, and like also excited, and then within five minutes I was worried again. And there's a whole new batch of anxieties to consider,
and that I think is weed. Like I really because I felt like, oh my god, everything's gonna be okay. This is like a really good sign. And then instantly I was like, oh, there's just now just opened another door of anxieties that I that I wasn't even worried about before, and now I don't. I don't have anywhere to turn to. I guess I'll masturbate. Will that help it?
I'm jealous that you're still able to masturbate, But I feel like if anyone asks you, like, oh it's bad to do, we just be like, look, Mike Tyson has done every drug in the world, and the one he's good on is WI.
That's really interesting. Is that true?
I mean, yeah, he was like he was fucking I don't know if he's done everybody.
He was a crack nobody. Is he good on it though?
Like, or is he just he's not killing everybody? You know, Like he's not beating everyone. That's because I knew somebody's I know, somebody's really close to Tyson. I was like, and he's like sober. I'm like, and he's like his guru, and I'm like, but isn't that not sober? He goes, hey, man, he's not trying to kill everybody.
Oh good point, I mean, the lesser of some evils. We'll be right back after this to talk about what you're puffing on there, Dan. Damn well, I see you're vaping. What does that give you when you've like I don't understand. I definitely smoke cigarettes before. But do you get a relief from isn't just nicotine when you inhale it. It's relieving an anxiety of wanting nicotine that you created.
Yes, yes, yeah, you got it.
But that feels good because you're like, you give yourself anxiety that you then get to soothe, and then you get off on the soothing feeling.
So I get that nicotine also rides you with some positive like it gives you, it energizes you. It.
Yeah, I think they've said nicotine's good for you.
Kind of it's not good for you at all at all, but it does. Like when people first start smoking cigarettes, there's a reason why they get addicted to it. It's because it does actually provide you with some benefits, some clarity of mind. It's it's sort of like caffeine in a way, at least from what the what I've read.
Yeah, but I understand like creating a problem so that you feel the relief when it goes away. I think that's honestly, what stand up is is like or working, like saying yes to a gig, and then I'm like, I all I know is that I'm going to feel so good when this is over. Like so so I was so accomplished, and so I think it's kind of the same thing. Maybe I should start vaping. When did you start vaping?
Dan? When I was on Michelle Show? Did I started doing Joel? So it was twenty eighteen and I was on and off cigarettes. I was off cigarettes for about since not safe, so not safe through Superior Donuts and then Michelle Show has started vaping again, and.
Then was it just because other people were vaping? It was kind of like that was something you could do in the office. What what what made you do it?
I just was very stressed. It was a position that I was. It was like a senior writer position. So I was stressed, and I was like, I don't want to go back to cigarettes, right, lesser of I don't want to get drunk, so let's do let's do this. But I also got like by the end of my time there too, I was like, then I started doing xanax too, So I was like, I just have like a very addictive fucking personality.
Yeah, as do I do? You do you find that jerking off is part of that addiction? Like it didn't get.
Care or I'm on so many inidepressants.
I mean, oh yeah.
Often like a week I think, whoa, yeah, Like it's been a while and you knew me in my single days where I was like always going on dates and trying to like oh yeah, and now it's like now that guy I don't even know who that fucking guy is, you know, because he's a long gone because uh yeah, no, I I am not. Like, Plus my wife is kind of like recovering right now, so it's like I don't know. I just I don't have like really the you know, greatly urge to jerk it right now?
Yeah, no, I get that, But I think that's that can be something that I rely on sometimes in a similar way of like to.
Distract myself once every couple of days.
Right, Yeah, I think it's fine. I think it's the times when I've read about when people are like hurting themselves because they're doing it so much, and there's like skin is raw, Yes, that's probably yeah, and that get Yeah.
There's guys who I mean, there are guys who you know can't leave their house because they're jerking off.
Yeah, no, I don't. I mean watching porn. It's like it's built to suck you in like a casino like it. I don't even I can't believe pop. A lot of people are operating in these porn worlds and I am too, and I have no one to talk about like the things I see and what they're said to me and these ads and like how it's like it's just so fucked up. It's such a weird world that no one talks about.
Huh.
The reason it will get last because everyone's doing it. They just don't want to say it, you know, they don't want yeah, porn, like.
The titles of them and what's happening. It's just it feels so specific, but it's like it's such a universal experience that we're all like kind of just only experiencing on our own. And that's why I'm always confused when they're like, are you tired of jerking off alone? And it's like, no, I'm not. This is the only way this could ever Who would ever want to jerk off with someone? I don't feel that way where I'm like, I never am like this. I wish someone would do
this with me. It's like I'm glad to be doing it on my own. I don't understand that angle. And I also don't understand the angle of like you can come in thirty seconds, Like I'm like, do people have places to be?
Like?
I want it to take longer Like that, these marketing angles for porn ads do not resonate with me at all.
It's always like the inside of a penis or a vagina too. Every time you like turn it on, it's like it's like, help your penis grow, and then they'll.
Wah, yeah, they give you a cross section of a section yes.
And you're like, oh my god, I don't need a fucking lesson, dude. I'm just trying to, you know, jerk off. These two chicks in a hot top. Come on.
Yeah, well that's that sounds nice.
There's this thing on This is not porn related ad related.
I don't have like a bunch of weirdo like porn cues. I'm very basic.
Good for you. I don't relate what we're gonna say.
There's a thing on Instagram where I'm getting these ads for it's a crazy trend getting ads for a phone game where it's like zombies are attacking you and you're shooting the zombies and then like they keep coming and coming and coming, and you're shooting the zombies and then you click on the game because it looks like a
really good game. Yeah, you click on the game, and then you go to it and all the reviews are like, not, this is not the actual game the advertising, right, so we've all this is this is like talking about like things people do that like you don't have to really
talk about. But it's like you go to the app store and you're like, I'd play that game, and then all the reviews are like it's just a pay for play type of game where you're building like a a city and you have to defend your city and it's and and then that became so prevalent people clicking on that ad and realizing that it's not the game that they started coming up with new ads that are like, are did you see that ad where you have the zombie game? Well, guess what, we actually built the game.
Oh so that's preying on people that have already been duped by this.
Yeah, but then you click on that ad and it's also not the game. It's also just a pay to play city builder game. Like, what the fuck is going on here? And now they even have influencers who will pop up up in the ad and go like, listen, I saw all those ads where there was that zombie game, and I really wanted to play it, and now I found it. If you see a game and you start playing it and it's not what they advertise in the first five seconds, stop playing it, and then you click
on that game also not the game. So I don't understand what's going on if it's just the controversy how.
They're making money because you're not paying money yet to even see that it's not the.
Game, right, because there's still a bunch of dumb assess who want to play the pay to play city Builder game for some reason, which is so stupid whoever is making these games, I just make the Zombie game. The Zombie game is good. It will be like New Angry Birds.
Yeah.
I don't understand what's going on, like why everyone wants the Zombie game and they just refuse to make.
It because there's a world of selling stuff around the fact that the game is not being made. So I think it's it's better that they don't make it.
It's wild. I mean the way they keep then they keep making new ads every day where it's a different round. It's like it's like they're basically building the game in ads, because it's like now there's a new version of the Zombie game. And then multiple different companies have made multiple different versions of the Zombie game as advertisements, and you click on it and it's not the fucking came you play.
Are you how much time are you playing games on your phone? Because I'd see guys on planes and guys be playing lots of games on phones and they look fun and they're I'm like, wow, the graphics on that are incredible. Should I be doing this? Are there ones that are really fun?
No?
No, I play zero games on my phone because every game on your phone nowadays is pay to play, So basically you start playing it, it's kind of fun, and then it's like, well, if you want to get a bunch of corn, you're gonna have to pay three ninety nine. And by the way, if you don't pay three ninety nine for the corn, a bunch of people who've paid fifty dollars are gonna kill you.
Right, Okay, I like playing games. I like I'm now I'm doing the mini Crossword for New York Times. Well, I like that because you can compete with people. Do you know New York Times games?
Second?
Yeah, there's a leader board only on the mini crossword where you can do it. Does your time do you? Yeah?
Well, you know during f Boy Island, we were really deep into the crossword you oh my god.
Yeah. We were trying to beat each other on Mondays Tuesdays and sometimes I.
Have to say it was it was pretty evenly matched, It really was.
That was a good time.
Yeah.
Final thought, Dan, what are you doing on your phone most of the time? Like, what are you just doom? Scrolling Reddit, Instagram, Yeah, killing me? What are you looking at on Instagram? Just as person's post and then you read the comments and then like what are you doing on there?
A lot of dog stuff, A lot of dog stuff. I mean, like, I'm not going to pretend that my Instagram Discovery doesn't have a few influencers, butts it definitely does. There's some wrestling stuff, asserted politics stuff from both sides. Somehow they both end up on me.
It's fair weird balanced, but it's like the way it should be. Like that's weird.
I like this new trend that Instagram was saying they're not going to put any politics, They're not going to promote any political things anymore, and then they kind of stopped doing that. But no, like if you I made like a cartoon that was making fun of Congress and like it. It was like suppressed because it was when they were when they were doing this this new thing where they're not they're not allowing political content to be distributed amongst the algorithm, which I think is a good idea.
Okay, yeah, I think so too. I recently took the no more suggested posts for thirty days. It doesn't even let you do it permanently. It lets you take a month off from them giving you other ship. And I think I'm reaching the end of the month. But it was a good month off of just only seeing what I need, what like, what I.
Who I friends like the designed to be there's there's too many you follow too many people.
I got a package in the meal from j LO the other day, WHOA Okay, I like had a bunch of like actually killing you. I got a bunch of I had a bunch of packages that were like kind of stef and I was like, I don't it stresses me out? And how to get package? It used to be so much fun, but now it's like I have to post about this person and I have to start using these products so I can talk about them, and it's like it just piles up, and it's just I don't have anywhere to put it because I live in
an apartment. So anyway, finally, I'm like going through these boxes and I'm like, JMO beauty, when did I did someone send me this as a prank or something? Because I definitely didn't order it, and not that I wouldn't want it, but I opened It's very heavy and it's just a whole assortment of her skincare line. And there is a card that says, I saw your video. It's easy to go along with the crowd. Thanks for not
doing that. It's I'm paraphrasing the tic. There was a TikTok of me talking about her while I was on the Zach Saying podcast, and I was talking about how I'd really changed my opinion about her because I saw her documentary and I just made me soften on her and realize, like she's actually pretty cool and talented and just you know, is just a girl that wants to
put her art out there and be seen. And we're all just mental because that's it was taken out of context and she's and yes she's a movie star, but like generally we're all just like jealous if we're shitting on her. And I think that that's probably what was going on in my perspective at least, And so I said that we clipped it for my TikTok because people were already kind of clipping it, and so we clipped it and then it kind of took off.
And.
Then she saw it and she sent me the stuff and then so at the very end of the message, though, she said, and here's here's like my skincare lone. She goes for something about like so you can take care of your feet, and I'm like, is there foot cream in this? Like I was very confused. I'm like, oh, maybe she's heard like me talk about my bunions and she's kind of like putting in a dig in there. And then this is like days ago that this happened.
And I literally cried when I got it because it was just so sweet, and I feel bad for anything I've ever said judgmental about her, because she went out of her way to like, at least she did. She didn't type it up herself, but she definitely like maybe she did type it up and send an email so they typed it up, but she definitely it was her voice. I can just tell when someone is like it's them. And then the ps about my using this the stuff she sent for my feet, I was like, what is
this about? And this girl got like she'd I realized last night in bed, I seized up because I suddenly realized what she was saying. I used to do a joke about that she must have heard or maybe it was part of it. I don't even remember how she came across this, but I used to do a joke about how she's so pretty that like you shouldn't trust buying your skincare from her because she'd probably she probably wants you to look ugly because she she needs you to stay ugly so she can stay pretty. That was
like my whole premise. And I'm like, she's gonna mean girls you and she's gonna put foot cream in that stuff. She wouldn't put that on her face, like she's tricking you. She doesn't use that. And so she did my joke back to me and kind of like did a little dig and I fucking respect it and I love it, and she's like, yeah, use this on your feet, Like but she also gave me this nice gift. So it was just like she's just cool.
And that joke ever make it on you?
I don't know where she could have seen it. I'm sure I've said it on some couch. I'm sure I don't know where. I maybe even said it in that interview. It may have even been in that clip that weeklip.
Here you.
Were talking about your feet.
I'm not safe, but no, no, this is definitely about because I was like, Jalo has a line of skincare, and I'm like, don't use it because there's no way she's gonna tell us her secrets. Like she's got good secrets and she doesn't want you to know them, So don't buy her skincare line because it's probably foot cream. Like she's Mean Girls girls in US, and I stole the foot cream line from Mean Girls Like I didn't.
I wasn't trying to rip off that joke. I'm just like that's what they do in Mean Girls and and she did it back to me and it totally went over my head. This is what happens when you're a comedian. You think other people aren't funny, or like you just don't expect them to be funny, so you just don't. You're just like, why would she say okay? And and then last time in bed and I'm like oh, and I'm like she got me good, and it just felt it.
It made me a little nauseous because I'm like, oh no, she heard me like make fun of her and do that joke. I just had to like remember people see stuff. And I just this weekend and I've just had like uh not because of that, but I I did an interview last week that actually she was like kind of called out some of my stuff and she's like, it just seems like, you know, cruel and tasteless for no reason. That's what an interviewer said to me. And I was like, what was this about roasts?
You know?
And I get that they are cruel a tasteless.
No, it's to be king, but that's the time when you're allowed to do it, and you're doing it in joke form, and it's what you expect bad.
And then I was like examined my set and I'm like, oh, I think I am sometimes just mean for the sake of being mean. And I just like, but it's kind of impossible to write comedy and be nice.
That's a fucking roast. That's the whole point of roasts.
Well, she got me. She made me second guess everything, and I was like, oh man, I don't want to put out like cynicism and like like, uh, just this nasty.
Kind of so stupid. It's like going to the Olympics and being like you're running a little fast. This is a little fas. This is much faster than I would see in the show.
I know, that's what I defended it as, like that was the job I was hired for. I don't know what to tell you, Like, that's kind of what I had to do, and it's maybe weird that I can do it with such ease or that I enjoy doing it. But yeah, I was this week and looking at my act and I was like, well, that's me.
I'm so mad at that person. I'm so mad.
Okay, she she meant well by it, and she is a fan, but she it did make me question myself a little bit. But I just don't, you know, I don't know where to write from if I'm not like pointing out things that I'm kind of like pissed about and then I kind of passive aggressively make fun of them while also trying to point out the hypocrisy. Then I get kind of dirty, as dirty as they do.
Kind of That's why you're always punching up, you know. That's why it's bad to punch down, because if you're just being mean to some underling, then that's that's just there's no point to that. But if you punch up, then you're allowed to because you're the one that's suffering.
And so like in your last special, you're annoyed or you're mad at you know, your own mortality and your own like ability to have children and stuff like that, and those are things that you can be as mean as you want about because it's because you're you're punching up in that situation. If you were going out there and you were like, if you were doing a roast, okay, you're doing Remember when you did a roast, you roasted Tom Brady. You're roasting NFL players and other comedians who
are on the same level as you. If you went out on the roast and you were like, the guy that works the post office is a fat piece of shit. Why he's ugly and smells like shit, that would be mean. But in this instance, you're everyone up there agreed to be roasted and they're on the same level or above you.
Okay, well, now I'm starting to think about my stand up and like, sometimes I think I throw people under the bus, or like I kind of do I feel like if I I think in my head I justify because I'm like, oh, I make fun of myself a lot, so I can just then I can make fun of other people that aren't here, and maybe subjects, like even the JLO thing, like I'm glad I didn't include all that bit in my special because I was kind of thought, oh, she's gonna see this and it is not very nice
and it's coming from a place of jealousy, like.
Changing your mind, but you're also like changing your mind while working out that bit, and you're like, I don't even know. I like, I think why am I saying?
I was like, I think that's why I'm saying is because I like her so much that I'm like jealous. It's just interesting to find your motivations. Like I was talking to this interviewer about how I used to, Oh, this is what I wish I would have said to work because we were talking about you know, when I would go on stage and I would I would try
to like hurt a guy. If a guy had hurt me, I would like write a bit about him in a way that would like pray on some kind of insecurity that he had, and I wouldn't use his name, but like if he ever heard it, he would know it is about him because I wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt me, right like because classic that's but that sometimes I think, oh, I'm just trying to get revenge. I just yes, but I'm just trying. I think. Sometimes I'm like, no, I want I just want to
be mean because he was mean to me. But the truth in that is that I he didn't I felt he didn't understand how devastated I was by what he did to me, even though it wasn't his fault. He just changed his mind and didn't like me anymore. And I really can't be mad at that. So instead, I'm going to try to get him to feel the sadness I felt, and then maybe he'll feel bad about what he did. Like, I think that's the cutest route.
Idea misguided. Yeah, the secret I was just.
Like wanting my feelings validated. Like if he were to be like, I know this is so hard and I know this sucks, but instead he was just like, this is just how I feel, and this is how it's going to be.
Yeah.
That was like, Oh, you don't get what you're doing to me, but you will. I will make you feel just as sad, and I'll do it in a different way. That's like poking fun at something how you look or family. Yeah, I did, I really hurt this person for a while, yeah, and made them uncomfortable and made them loathe me, and and they should have because I was just like, it was so misguided and it was all just like grow.
I think everyone does it. When you're rejected. You just have to come up with a story why they are evil and why, because the story just can't be that they didn't like you, they are attracted to you.
I was like that, I think in my twenties. But then like I started, I was like, then I started seeing the girl's points. I'm like, all right, yeah, you know, like I get it all right.
I don't think I was getting any feedback, not that I would have asked for it, but I think guys would just start to slow fade, and so I wouldn't know why that's the world, and it would just seem like and I'm glad I didn't. I don't want to know why. I can only guess the many reasons they had to not want to be my boyfriend. But I think back then I was just so hurt that I was like, if this guy's not gay or like, that's
my one thing. I could say, he's maybe gay, that's why he doesn't like me, And then I don't take it personally, or or he's so scared. He's so scared to be loved like that was another thing engaged a week later.
That'll make him more attractive to women. Yeah, and they're like, I'm gonna approve you, I'm.
Gonna fix him.
Yeah. Well well really, anyone who would ever try to like love someone who doesn't want to be loved is really thinks they're unlovable themselves, as we know. So Dan, where can we find her special?
I'm on Yeah, you can just check out Dance Fatty Dance. It's free on YouTube. I am on Instagram to follow there, and you can get like all my dates on my website.
Dan Saint Germain is one of the best comics out there. He's so funny. Go see him live. You'll see him in like an intimate, uh not completely finished comedy club.
Yeah, well do in six months, guys.
Whenever you see me, there'll be plenty of room, so don't worry.
But definitely get tickets to go see him if he's coming near you, Like it's it's a it's different than comedy. Go to comedy clubs and see these girl He's been around forever. He's doing it at the level of the people you go see in theaters. It's just things haven't worked out for him yet. But they you deserve that level. You deserve the No.
I have a great I mean I have a great resume, you know you. I told everybody all the ship that I've done. They'd be like, oh, wow, that's amazing. You must be rich.
And I'm like, nope, going to see this guy and how Dan is a bargain basement community. But it's just we don't know why. It's just an anomaly that you aren't bigger. But the thing is, you will be and you are so fucking funny. And I always tell you that I wish I had your brain, and sometimes I use your brain to help me with things.
Because Germain is comedians though that's the no dancing. Germaine is three count the three viral clips away from being a theater act. Just kind of get those three.
Absolutely had two this year. Come on, I gotta get the next.
Well's no, it needs to be over a million, needs to be over two million.
I mean both are like over a million, you know.
But okay, okay, well maybe.
You know what I mean.
I'm like, I wasn't getting nicky viral until that moment. But it's and it's hard to sustain it. No, I mean, it's been a slow build the whole fucking time. It's it seems like I've had so many successes and yeah, I've had a pretty good career for a while. But there's a lot of factors that contribute to that. My age, my gender, the amount of other people doing it of my age and gender place things that there's I've been very lucky and you just haven't been. Dan, You've actually
been so lucky. We're so we're so lucky. And go watch Dance Special. He's fucking incredible. Get on the ground floor now you'll u because he is. He's one of the best. Dan Saint Germains Dance Fatty Dance on YouTube were free. Brian Franzie, thanks for being here. We will see you later this week for another episode of this podcast, Don't be good Bye.