The nick A Gliser Podcast. O Gliser posa.
Hello, it's me.
It's Nicky Glazer Podcast. Welcome to the show. Brian Frangie is not here today. Noah is obviously on maternity leave with her baby Toby. But I have a special guest with me today who's one of my best friends, one of the funniest people alive. She has a new special out on Netflix that I can't stop talking about. It's called Big Guy and it is it's my good friend, the hilarious Rachel Feinstein.
How's it going, girl, good?
I miss you. We had so much fun in La God again.
I know this is just a chance to hang with you, as it always is. I know you've been doing so much press for the special as I have. Like we are just our specials just came out kind of back to back and in the best way too, because I just feel like so proud of us on both platforms, like killing it. I said you do this, I said you to this to you the other day and it felt a brag because but you were included.
It was like we are, we're.
Dominating right now in the streaming service stand up specials and we're both like women and it feels I'm not I don't usually play that card or go like it feels good to be like I don't usually think of myself even as a female comic, but there's something about it that I really like being with you in this kind of group.
I feel the same way.
It really helped I think for me that so the Rose comes out your set was, I mean, it talked about everybody went insane for it. It was the fucking most perfect road set standing out that got all this buzz that. I do feel like it opened up the door a little more, like like because that for people to not that for people to pay more attention to my special.
Well women, Yeah, thank you for that's so nice.
And I would never have even thought that you would say that or that would be a thing that you would feel. But I think, I mean it opened up the door for me in terms of, like now people trust me more to do things. So I can only imagine it has that ripple effect for like, oh, like like it's not just I'm just tired of Even though everyone makes fun of guys who say I don't usually like female comics, I don't like and we all joke about that type of guy they're all over still, They're everywhere.
It's still now.
Every comment on my on my Instagram is like it's still like and it's a mixture, but on every video there's always at least one person being like, usually hate pemo comics, but you're good, and I feel like we have to be so we have to, you know, work so hard and like work on every line and you know, but it's very satisfying when I feel like, oh, you know, it is helpful. The more of us, the better that I get, more attention to what we're to our stand up.
It's all varied.
It's not just this one long joke about our long winded, gushing periods.
And I mean, ultimately it is because that's what drives and fuels everything is that is the period. Do you know an interesting thing I always like to say about periods that people don't know is like PMS is like, you know, obviously we get insane around that time. We use it as an excuse for like why we maybe go overboard or say things we don't mean. But my old therapist used to say that PMS is just like
your your defenses come down. But the feelings are true, But there's just no wall holding them up anymore, so like you shouldn't let anyone if you don't want.
I mean, sometimes you.
Do get truly psychotic and say things you don't mean. But there is a crumb of truth to pretty much everything. But I will say that I think sometimes people will negate how we feel or it is undermined by the fact that we're on our periods, so it doesn't we're not really we don't really mean it, like they're all they almost not that, like women included gaslight ourselves into thinking what we actually feel is not what we're feeling because we're on our periods. We we're cool, cool, you
know what I mean. And sometimes I'm like, no, this is actually how I feel. I just am like more, I can't not cry as much right now, so it's coming.
It's like it's like kissing someone when you're drunk. You still wanted to kiss them. Yeah, yeah, you still wanted to bug them, So listen up, it's still a compliment.
Okay, okay, yeah, It's It's interesting about the drunk thing because I will say that there's times when I've been drunk that I say the opposite of what I mean, Like literally, like the first time I ever got drunk. I remember everyone the next day was like you were just gushing all over this girl all night of like how much you want to be friends with her and how much you love her. And I was like, I,
that's the opposite of how I feel. And I and I watched my mom get drunk sometimes and she does the same thing where she'll I know how she feels about people, and she'll say the exact opposite, and it's almost like they know because they've never gotten from this from her before, so they almost can like tell if they if they're sober, they can tell, like, this is out of character, this is out of line, and like, I bet she's just saying the opposite, which is it's so real.
Actually, maybe you're right, because I do think things get more gnarled and mangled when you're drunk.
So when you're drunk, it's more like it's raw when you're imperial. When you're drunk, is just this mangled nor ransom suit. It's so bad or.
Yeah, it's like a mess. It's like fucking cocktail of every bad, weird, deranged, unprocessed feeling.
God, it's so bad that just gets her off.
Well, I like.
Your Uber series where you kind of talk to an uber driver about like just the deep recesses of your mind and your heart and they are just so indifferent to it. And it's such a funny series that you do on your Instagram. But that is kind of there's a drunkness in that character. I think that also like
that you're not drunk when you're doing it. But I'm saying, like, for me, that's that's a girl on her period, but also also just a girl with like bad boundaries, which is so or not bad boundaries actually just what joke is you want to connect? Yeah, no, but you But that character I also love because she wants to connect and she wants to be heard, which is something I
think you and I both desperately long for. And that's why we like like your special I related to so much because one of my favorite jokes, one of my favorite things you do is when you reference I usually don't like it in comedians when they reference a joke, like they talk about jokes off stage, but your it's all I crave from you is your like interpretation of what you were, what you thought your joke would do for the world or for your life, and then how
it failed, like any kind of example of that when you say, she does this bit about you know, the special is called big Guy, and it's about this nickname that her husband, Pete has given her and it's just offensive to her obvious for obvious reasons. And she comes home at night and he goes, is that big Guy? And she's like, yes, COO's the big Guy? Who else is it gonna be? And so it's so funny. You gotta watch the whole thing. I didn't butcher it, but I'd only gave you a little snippet of it.
And then I don't care and then uh.
Then afterwards she has presented the joke and sa, she goes, I did that joke.
And then I went up to Pete and I'm like, did you hear them?
Like?
And he is like, yeah, fucking killed, Like the lines amazing. So he's interpreting it as like, oh my god, this is such a cool thing that I do this, when the whole point of the joke to do it for you to exert your frustration with being called big guy. The audience then confirms yes, you're wrong, and then you get to perform it in front of Pete and he gets to see how ridiculous he is and how he's not being like compassionate enough, and it's just an example, like you can put that.
Out there, and then he doesn't even get it.
It's so fun, which is my whole which is our whole relationship.
Yeah, he watches me do that. And now that the specials called Big Guy's like, come, you got admit it was awesome.
I'm like, no, you're welcomes fucking called big.
Guy because they think it's so ludicrous. And that's why it always gets a laugh, because it's so insane that you think any wife, any woman, wants to be called big guy by her fucking husband. And he's like, they like it, it's solid.
It's funny, but it's not what any wife would ever want to hear. So Pete, you should take that as you're missing the fucking mark as a husband in that regard.
But they don't take it that away. He takes it as it's funny. You're welcome, Like you're welcome.
I gifted you with that. Yes, loved it. I mean Solin. The problem is.
The same cocktail of things that would make a man oblivious enough to think this wife wants to be called big Guy is the same cocktail of issues that remains with the guy that's just happy that a big group of people are giving his two words a nice laugh, like he's not going to delve any deeper. Yeah, And that is really the crust of our relationship is that I want to always take another lap around something with him so hopefully.
Help him get to the bottom of it.
But he's just like, hey, that was a fun vine Like it doesn't work.
He's just like, oh, we rode that roller coaster twice. And I'm like, no, I'm.
Still emotionally like I'm shaking with with what is the word, I'm abandoned emotionally He's just like, yeah, we rode we rode the big roller fuck in the park twice.
Oh my god, take you want to take another lap around? Like that's so it's you know, what is it about us because we're so similar in that way we are we got emotionally abandoned as kids.
You know that about yourself?
Right at the completely like like that I was what you got. Oh my god, Rachel, you gotta fucking watch it. Everyone needs to watch it. Last night, so Chris and I like had been having a hard time of deciding what to watch at night.
So many shows are just writers congratulating themselves, writing it's really I just want people to talk how people talk. And then I'm just like so distracted by like what they thought was a clever quip. Yeah, the same way like girls, Girl. They always make the quirky girl in a movie like quirky in a way. No, girls are actually quirky and some sort of digestible, like where she wears colorful scarves and and drops.
And she always trips on that one part of the floor and she's she's she wears you know, she has a T shirt and that's kind of ripped on the side, or like she has mismatch socks and it's like that's that's her whole personality, and it's actually cute, Like the socks actually match in a way, Like it's a cute mismatch.
Yes, And she's still like shiny and digestible, and I'm like no, it really is, Like what causes real friction in a relationship is that. Yeah, Like I just get into a hotel room and I spray everything like ade I know, and then he's furious and disgusted.
Yeah, I'm like you open my purse. I'm like, no, God, No, it's just like.
Liquoods, like just mixed with chords and it's fucking foul.
Yes, And I feel like they don't show real shit. They show what they wrote. What is it?
Well, that's something I really like. If I were to ever do a show, I would. I'm kind of dabbling on one right now, and I've been lucky enough to work with a writer who I'm working with who like when you know, I didn't want to be offensive when I said this about a version of the script, but I was like, I people don't talk like this, and this would never happen. She would, But I know that we need this scene to like move the action, you know, like like everyone in scripts needs to get offended at
everything right away so that there's some action. Like you know, if someone's taking a picture, then the person needs to be like, why you're taking a picture at me? It's like that doesn't like maybe a version of that would happen, but it has everything has to escalate very quickly, which kind of works in like a Larry David world where you set up like everyone's going to be offended by Larry. Larry's going to be offended by everyone. That's kind of
the it, but what it's supposed to be. I just but I was able to tell my friend like I just want things to be real, like if it really wouldn't happen, I just don't want to say it and I don't want to do it so like we can.
If I'm gonna be in this thing, I only want to say talk the way people talk, and I only want to get offended at real things that people would get offended by, and not because I hate when a character goes from being like a normal person to then they need like some kind of drama in an episode. And suddenly there's this one show called count Callin from Accounts that Chris and I were obsessed with, and I think there's eight episodes, and I think it's on Apple
or maybe Paramount, but it's called Colin from Accounts. It is so funny, it is so charming. I'm obsessed. Everyone watch it. But in the final to last episode, they abandon you because they give this girl, who you really like, all these terrible friends, like not one of her friends is a redeemable character, not one of them, and you go, I really judge people by their friends.
Maybe that's not the right thing to do, but I do.
And I'm like, I hate this girl based on her letting these people in her life that are so rude to her new boyfriend.
And I just felt.
Abandoned as a viewer of this, which I know that they who knows what it compelled them to do that, But and it was a good episode all in all, and it's an amazing show. And it's like, I've done things within my act that like, believe me, I've been here before as an artist. So don't think that I'm judging this and being like, what the fuck is wrong
with you? It's just a thing that sometimes I notice in shows that makes me cautious of getting into scripted shows, therefore being the reason I suggested, like, can we just watch I want documentary? So the other night we watched the Weirir the World documentary about how in one night, like they brought all these amazing artists together to sing we Are the World in a January evening of nineteen eighty five.
And it is an.
Incredible documentary on Netflix. It's been on for a while. I really recommend it. But then the other night I'm like, I'm craving more of that. And I was like, Okay, I've heard about this Jlo documentary now. I watched one a while ago on Netflix, and this is not the one I'm talking about Amazon Prime. Rachel, You've got to
fucking watch it. If you think you know how to feel about Jlo, you don't, because a lot of clips have been taken from this to me make her seem like out of touch and such a diva and such a bitch. But I walked away, and I am someone who has had been very critical of Jalo in the past.
I like her. I like her a lot because.
She if I forgot what was getting, she shows like a really vulnerable side of herself that isn't like whoa her without makeup, because she's beautiful without makeup, but and she and she knows it too. She's not denying that, but there's the side of her that's like trying really
hard to make it. So it's a documentary that just covers her spending her own money nearly like it's like thirty million dollars to like make this Purple Rain type music video movie of her album that's about getting back together with Ben Affleck, and it's a little bit like
she's in over her head a little bit. She's she's trying to figure out how to represent like how she has been in pain her whole life and was abandoned as a child and her feelings were not nurtured, and how that led her to like look beingcoming a love addict and then she goes to a love addicts a meeting and they dance in the meeting like it's it's crazy, But the Docus memory is all about her getting this made.
And I really recommended to people because what ja the JLO got into this like recovery, it seems, or is it at least attempted to unpeel the onion that is her emotional neglect as a child, which I think so many people went through, including Jlo, including you, including me and us even being on.
Stage is like a way to fill that, right.
I feel like us being on stage and stand up for me. It's like my final arguments.
To the world.
So like okay, so you know, it's like it's like you know when you when you have final statements in like a trial, Like that's why they always prepare compare
comics and lawyers or whatever. It's like it's like I get to go up there and here's how I here's what happened, here's how I see it, Here's how I felt about it, and then just be like, you know, I'm finally fully listened to so in my in my uh life, like you know, I had like loving parents, but you know whatever, very stunted emotionally, and so like if I say something to my mom, she always get wounded, like well, Rachel, look like, for example, my mom and
Pete were sitting in the bedroom. This is my childhood, nutshell, okay, and I was this person in my family and then they're talking about the drapes in the room, right, and then Pete goes.
Where are the drapes supposed to fall? Again?
And I was like, oh, I think that like they're supposed to kiss the floor. I was like, I read that somewhere they're supposed to touch the floor, right, And then and Pete goes, nah.
I think they're supposed to go like four to six inches above the floor. Like first of all, why would you be privy to that information?
And you're like, yeah, you're a fireman from like deep Brooklyn, who would paint like a fucking like a painting of the founding fathers on our wall if you had a choice.
Right, and you just fucking asked me. Yeah.
And then so my mom's standing there and she always has to underline men's reality.
All men's reality is correct.
And she's like, this is oh my god, this is the dichotomy of your mom or the paradox of your mom.
Yeah, because she said you're liberal.
Like, if you talk about racial suffering, she'll do like a horror crawl towards you. But if it's like a man's versus a woman's version of a story, girl, if you talk about any rational suffering, she's like mounting you.
Oh my god, dude, that's what she connects over. It's just like running you.
Like if I if I was like, Mom, I just had a seizure, she would be like, did I tell you that when they really did some real work on the statistics of COVID nineteen that African American women were really the ones that are I'm like, I'm seizureing a seizureing, I'm having a seizure.
Oh going to swallow my toe.
My god, your mom is your dad?
Yes, I mean exactly. And then so my mom goes to Pete Pete my mom both.
Look around at me like.
Like I've literally just said to them, you disgusting cunts.
That's how they looked, because.
You said, you said it's not I think it's kissing the ground.
I think they're supposed to touch the floor. And I was like, but not, just like graise it and they were.
Like, God, I want you to google this.
My mom turned around like she was about to confront her attacker like she.
Was a woman years later was having a meeting with her attacker, you know, like.
She was like and then Pete was like, I don't think so. By the way they asked me this, I go, no, no, I think it is because remember Jessica's sister, Jessica Christi's sister is like she does she does design stuff.
She told us, says and I saw it, like, no, no, I have to give.
Sources, by the way, five sources to be believed.
About something I was asked about. My mom goes, finally, is there a reason that you're being so aggressive.
About this chul Oh my god.
She was like, it just feels a.
Little hostile, and they both just hung them the way they wanted to. My mom got a little teary eyed, so she wassatic when I was just like, no, no.
That's what it says.
Oh my god.
That was I always had to have nine sources.
I had to bring a police was an old game show in the fifties, like this is your life for a.
Gentle fucking opinion. I was treated like a kind of a wild Sloven wool.
No wonder.
You want a fucking microphone where no one can interrupt you or disagree with you, and if they do, they can get kicked out of the fucking room. Like, no wonder, that's what you crave because you're constantly no one believes you. We gotta dig more into this because there was another jloa thing that I saw that I wanted you to comment on. I'm gonna send you the video actually on Instry. Do you have your phone around you? Okay, there's a video of Jlo on the carpet of can that I'm
gonna send you. We'll talk about it right when we get.
Back after this. Okay, we're back.
So I just sat Rachel this video of Jlo on the red carpet being asked what are you wearing? And she's like hauling this really heavy gown upstairs in her delicate heels, surrounded by people, and she just looks at the girl and says, sure a pally and then like looks back and it's not nice.
She's not smiling when she says it.
It's like, if it happened to you, you'd probably be like, likes, that girl's mad at me. But it's just But the only reason you would feel that way is because it's a woman not smiling when she's talking, and it's not you know, like I do wonder if And then the person that in the Instagram video goes on to dissect and says, if a man were to say this, we'd be like he just knows who he is, and you know this double standard.
But what did you think about that? When I when you saw that.
I didn't even realize I saw.
I alo saw the first part when she asked what she was wearing, and she.
She think it was rude.
No, I was.
I say, everyone's like, she's so rude. I guess people are blowing up about it because they're just looking at her through a lens. If she's a bitch and like doesn't have time for regular people or whatever. And I've heard some stories to confirm that, but I actually I've.
Heard some stories to confirm that.
But at the same time, and I sometimes think that sometimes women are being treated like a woman in charge or whatever, and then sometimes no, this was not nice, you know, and they're and they're using that cloak to protect there. But that would not be an example of that. No, she was just using her ground. She just like answered her quickly.
Yeah, I forgot to be like, forgot to be like.
I'm sorry, I'm not your.
Mother, you know, Like she was just answering.
Well, that is so true, because I feel that too.
Like I think that's why sometimes I like, you know, sometimes I don't know. Lately, I've been really just anxious about people asking me to meet people or have to talk to people that I don't know or that I'm not excited to talk to you, because I feel like I will have to kind of be like extra for them, and like I have to that little thing that I feel the need to put on otherwise people are now going to say something that I'm not that kind or
whatever is too scary to me. So then I just don't want to meet anyone because I don't want to abandon myself by having to be that like, yeah, oh my god, that's great, Like it's not hard for me to do that at meet and greets when I'm actually meeting people that are exciting me. But it's like there are some I gotta say, like sometimes women, but a lot of men who just like talk and expect you to care and then if you don't, they can easily
turn on you. And not that I really care what this person goes on to think, but there was a guy to meet and greet that was like, you know what, we watched the Tom Brady Brost and when you came on the screen, I knew you were coming to Tahoe. When you came on the screen, I thought, I paused it and I said to my wife, if she kills this, we're going.
And so.
Then you did, and I said we are going, and I was like, oh my god. I had no clue how high the stakes were in that moment.
I'm kind of I'm glad I didn't know that your.
Ticket purchase was going to be dependent on that entire performance, because I would have maybe freaked out a little bit. I would have gotten in my head and I know it was all but he really presented it like you you were on you know, you were on thin ice for a second, but you came through for me.
My wife decided whether we'd have a.
Dating yeah that I was like, I would have sold those tickets anyway, sir, it did not matter. I'm so glad you paid for the meet and greet to tell me this. But he also told me, like, I get that same, don't.
Yeah, I got a guy.
I'll be like, listen, the first two minutes, I wasn't sure to tell you what by minute before I was like, all right, I'll allow this kid to continue making a limbit like I've literally had that exact sentence said to
me in every city. And then there's the first part of me, the main part of me, the very sick gnarl child that I still am, as like oh good, okay, then yes, yes, but there's a lot of like I didn't knowing that, Or they'll be like if you touch one subject that they weren't sure about, like you started in on that sex stuff and I thought she's just gonna be a rodcheet fucking godless, disgusting pig horn.
But then you circle back, you touch you by some family in the other she's allowed over for damp Yep, yeah, none of this.
I have to leave.
Yeah, you're so right about that they'll scold you for being dirty and then they go. But you, you know you'd you didn't stay in that. I thought you were just gonna do sex whole time. Another guy said to me,
I thought you were gonna I was really nervous. Like the guy who ran the show said he was really my friend Lizzie Kumman open for me, and she's standing there and he said this, he was really nervous that my whole act was just gonna be my my special and she and she she was like I had to hold her back because she was gonna be like really nervous?
Were you on the side of the stage, like Missmatchel, Like just all these.
Guys like being like you were, I set you up to fail, but you actually you surprised me. Like they're just patting themselves on the back for thinking that they have higher standards than everyone else, when really, sir, you don't like you. You don't really realize your taste level is not impressive to me, and I don't care.
The steaks couldn't be lower stakes could not for someone like whether I did a few too many jokes from my own special and you were stage signed throbbing with fear. Yeah, it's fascinating to me.
It's fascinating to me.
But then I feel like, like, I, you know, but I do get that a lot. I get those comments, or I get like couples that come up to me, and then they kind of like test me out together that people people either there like searching for a threesome or the guys like you know, or just the guy wants a picture.
And the and the wife is going to mad at you.
Yes, and you have to make her feel really comfortable because you feel so bad that she's in marriage where a guy would ever treat her this way. So you have to be like extra like like buddy buddy with the guy so she's not threatened, but also like bring her in so she like maybe walks away liking you.
And then at the end they think I wanted threesomes and I'm like, no, I gotta go back to my own hotel, ranch style home.
And I got a fucking card from a pair at the Paramount Theater in I forget where in New York. Fuck, I forget the city. But this couple gave me their business card which had their name on I wish I had.
It on me.
It's in my wallet because I'll keep it forever. It's more important to me than my license. But it was it's like their couple name, like I don't think it was their last name. And then on the back it was a picture of them like fucking in lage or like her ass in laingerie, like mounting him and his legs open on like a cup chair in a hotel room.
And it was their business card to swing. And I was so flattered.
Because they actually didn't like sweet tug me first. They just like took a nice picture and then handed me the card if I'd be into it. But there are couples that, you know, they the way the husband like grabs your waist and the way the wife will be like you're his you're his hall pass, and I'm like as we're smiling, you know, like and so I have to process all of this sexual energy coming at me really quickly, and and it's it.
But yeah, that happens to me all the same.
And there's a lot of like where it's like I'm the fan, she's just along for the ride, and I'm like, oh, this poor woman you drug here. I'm sorry, that's amazing.
First it was on the fence, or that one person's clinically depressed because they got they had to come.
To your show.
It's yeah, she's pretty angry about this, but I'd also like to be inside you. So and then they just like and then they just place it on our plate so that we can crunch the numbers of this word problem that they've handed us. That's why, that's why it is like taxing and good to sometimes conserve your energy a little bit. So like, yeah, before the shows, I used to be like every single comic that's ever wanted to do guest spot does guest spots.
I just paid everybody.
Yeah, my friend is always like, stop handing everybody money.
So like anybody did five minutes on my show, I was like, okay, gas money, and like I just kept giving everybody like and this is when I'm like, I'm not making much money, Like I'm barely covering my own, you know, flights and paying out my manager agent everybody, and I just keep trying to give money, give everybody the right expression, give their energy, and I'm like, I don't know what jokes I'm going to do, like I just need to be still for four minutes and look
at like my child, she had to look at my own notes without like scrolling through Amazon prop.
Me like I need to just be calmed.
Yeah, So I started to do that where I'm just like I bring an opener and then like I just closed the door, because you know what, even when the door door's opened, someone's still going to think I'm a cunt, so it doesn't matter. So like there's always a moment after a show where I talk to somebody and I think it went well, and then after at the end of the exchange. This has been said to me multiple times, like I think that I'm doing everything I can to
just be present. And the thing is, I hug people a lot because I am really surprised they're.
There, and I'm like grateful that they're there.
So I'm like I now like I've hugged you, you know, like I've we've talked for kind of a long time. I probably showed you pictures of my daughter or my phone because I heard you're a parent too, and then now and now it's kind of a rap.
And I've had people say to me like, so that's it, Like so that's.
All is this show?
Yes, I like, I don't know what to do besides like, yeah, you know, the next step would be like you fingering me or something. I don't know what happened, could possibly be left and then I By the way, they don't probably care that much that they said that. Yeah, but I take on every feeling in a room, and I
have terrible codependence. So I have an issue with like if two people are making it having an exchange across the room for me, and one person's misunderstanding it, yes, I'm like, oh fuck, wait he doesn't think she thinks that. And I think that I'm responsible for every feeling in a room.
Yeah, you know, because I'm.
Responsible because I you know, like I was treated like some sort of like gangernous wolf when I was trying to explain where I thought the drapes lie.
Right, So you're just trying to manage how everyone feels about you all the time and even trying your business, and it's not in your control if people like you. Yeah, I feel the same way, Like I I catch myself doing that less and less, Like I'm turning forty on Saturday, and I just feel like in my forties I just want to be more secure. Like I know that it's like a journey to get there and you actually have
to like do the work to get there. But I kind of just want to cut to the fucking chase and be someone who doesn't care what people think and is a little bit more just bad ass. But the second I get into that and like have that kind of confidence and walk that walk and kind of like have boundaries with people, I do start to question. I do start to get feedback that I'm a bitch, you know,
and that is uncomfortable to me. Like I do get I do get that feedback because you know, sometimes it bleeds over into people in my life and they're like, you're treating me like you treat like I work for you, And I'm like, but can I just treat everyone the same way? Like I'm not treating people who work for me that way because they work for me. I just am not as scared of them because they're not as emotionally entwined with me, And maybe that's why I talk
to them that way. But I'm going to talk to you. I want to talk to I want to be able to talk to everyone the same way. But I mean I and ill.
There's no answers and no one's ever going to be all happy, and you know we're trying. I mean, for fuck's sake, we're doing our goddamn best everyone.
So that's the other thing.
Someday, Someday We'll die is the most amazing name for a special in the world.
Thank you.
I did not pick it.
It was like a thing I said, and it's, you know, the last thing I say in the special, but it was David Jammy, one of my executive producers on it. Was we were like trying to come up with a name for it because I was named Specials after I don't know what you do, but like.
It's kind of like, yeah, I'll know it when I see it.
And I was kind of just sitting on this one, and then he texted that and we were all like, yeah, that's a great name because it's just cut to the chase. It's it's a blunt And that's the other thing is I think that sometimes I can be really blunt with people, and that's kind of what I'm known for. I was in therapy yesterday crying about how like I had two best friends meet each other this weekend, like from different
parts of life. And they both like we're just gushing to me about the other and saying all the things I'm most jealous about the other four And so it reconfirmed that that thing is something really awesome that I wish I had, Like I get really jealous of people's qualities, like that they're naturally organized, Are they naturally graceful? Are they naturally like have white T shirts that stay white?
Like this T shirt's already been staying, don't get excited.
Do it?
And I rarely wear.
It, and I'll take it off right after this because it's it won't last the whole day and I have to be like out the rest of the day and it will just be you know, soiled by by the late afternoon.
But I have these jealousies.
I was talking to her about, like how these are real things about people. I'm not just these aren't illusions where I'm like looking on Instagram and she disappears that way on the surface, like these are actually I'm jealous
of people that actually exude these qualities. And they both were echoing to me about like, oh my god, I can't believe how tiny and cute and organized she is, and the other one's saying, I can't believe what a wild, amazing genius mastermind like, So two things that I'm like always want people to say about me mastermind, genius, quick, smart, cute, little, graceful, organized, And they're both coming at me from my other friend that I'm jealous of that quality of and it just
made it kind of got in my It didn't get in my head, but it was just something that was kind of irritating me. I was getting in like an envious place this weekend of really just like hating why can't I be like that? I wonder they're just gonna realize that they like each other more than they even like me, Like what do I bring to this? And I was talking to my therapist about how when people say, when my friends say, like, but.
Nikki, this is what we love about you.
Yeah, we like her because she's tiny and little and so cute, and we like her because she's a genius and smart and says really funny things. But they literally, I'm a comedian, and they say it's you're funny too, because the way you like slam things hard and the way you like PLoP down on things, and the way that you'll just be like, You'll just say exactly what you're thinking, and no one else would ever say that.
So the thing I'm saying is not even funny.
It's just the fact that I say things that are wild that's funny. Or the way that I'm like, I find that the things my friends really love about me are just like insane, like really ross house, like they're funny because they're what they they're not desirable and so.
Well, you know what it's It's also possible that, like, my therapist will say all the things that my husband gets enraged about because he does not like how messy and slovenly I am.
He's like, it's part of your dar. M, it's part of your dar, he says.
Maybe they actually do, yes, so maybe they do like that because they you know, but who knows.
It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. Well, she also said it matters, right. I liked this flip, which also could be for Pete too. Is like they are secretly they they probably don't suffer with envy like I do, or they might or might not be in touch with it subconsciously in the way that I am in touch with mind consciously, but deep down they could be because they are so regimented and organized, or they are so worried
about what people think. They could be extra envious of the fact that I can just bluntly talk, or that I can just drop my underwear on the floor and not think about it for a couple of days, like they could. There's They might not ever claim to be envious of that, but there could be a part of them that feels I wish I could be that free. And that's what my therapist said. She was like, maybe consider that.
And I'm like, I don't think any no one.
I think you might. You might be interesting at subconscious level.
I mean Pete, I don't know if he has no idea what he feels like when he I mean his I like, he'll just talk to me about like whether a neighbor bought a lawnmower, like.
This is that, Like that's something that compels him.
So whenever he starts to realize that, like maybe somebody touched him or something happened, he's just like, guess who got you know, guess who got the same lawnmowler? Yeah, like that it's like an impression of a conversation. Who could give a flying fuck, but you know what I do. Think we're pretty fucking free because I can't find a car in a parking lot and car dum, I don't know. I just rode in my friend's car all all weekends, I mean all week in Austin.
This week, I was riding around her car. I kept getting in any.
Fun, I do the same thing, bright, Oh dude, I do this. I don't remember cars at all because I'm.
Free, bitch. I don't know if you're the.
Pontiac LeMans or a fucking red couarrette from the eighties.
You could ride up in anything.
And every time she's like, you really just don't know, not the same shape I'm And when people talk about cars, I get like I just start to sort of quake before I'm just like a just like a real pain. It feels like the onset of a heart attack. When two men are discussing a car or a car purchase.
The lovely god, dude, I'm thinking, I'm we're free.
Yeah, you get the same top as me. It's gonna be gangrenous in seven minutes. I know I'm pretty free, and I'm good for a.
Laugh and I get ship done because I'm not picking up things and folding things and storing them in little boxes and bags and and.
And meal planning.
I'm not doing whole bunch of ship like all this stuff I'm envious of of people picking up stuff and vacuuming and swiffering and getting and the edge of the like like just using that mister Clean wipe on their walls like that all stuff makes your walls look nice.
But like I'm get a moving money that much.
But I'm like, I'm getting shit done, Like I'm emailing, I'm exercising, I'm learning a song and guitar.
Like a smear of foundation on my wall that's been there for like six months, like a heavy chunk, like.
I look like I'm swatching, like I'm testing colors out with all the orange I have on my walls.
I love that he.
Takes his dirty clothes. This is this is evidence, and he's gonna make a suit out of my skin.
One day.
He takes his dirty clothes and folds them and puts them back in his suitcase on the dirty side, and then as soon as he gets home, unpacks the entire suitcase. And you know what I'm doing. While I'm not doing that, I'm writing a Netflix special, so yes, whatever, you know what I mean, we're good for a fucking at the end of the day. If you could bring some fun to the table, I might have been a detention every day
and on score on the books. I was always a wild emergency emergency moro on like I got like eight sixty and my PSATs.
They didn't even have me take my SATs.
They're like, she's just too dumb, It's why waste the paper. But you know what I did have when I went to detention as a fun detention dance.
And everybody wanted to do that dance, so I kicked it off with a detention dance. People were into it, so.
Well, this is where I go like, I'm not even that fun, Like I'm like, I fun, I can.
Be, but I'm so I can be.
The thing is where I get in the way of having being fun is where I'm not free because I I don't feel free, because I feel so mad at myself for not being those ways that I'm constantly like punishing myself and and justin always disappointed myself for not being like more like this other girl that like, oh my god, she has all this and she has a kid on top of it, and she does a special and her house looks clean, and like, I do feel like some.
People are just wired that way. Some people aren't.
I can't expect that, but they're also.
Wired to not be as funny. I mean, I don't know some people. I've heard this story too. You know you are the stories you tell about yourself, and that that's true to a degree. That's true to a degree, and yes, you could change that reality slowly.
But I also kind of feel like we do what we.
Care the most about, and if we cared enough, maybe we would slowly become the most organized people in the world. Or maybe we don't care that much and you can outsource and delegate and it's nice.
Look.
I used to live with my roommate and she was so organized that like fascinatingly, like she would go home and clean the walls, like up, it's eight pm.
Time to clean the walls.
And she loved she loved to go through my purses and just be like, why would anybody even keep this?
Your purpose is not a trash bin? Like she would explain my issues.
She's like, you don't close, but if all your issues would be sold by the word.
If you don't close either it's an add.
They say, you take this other trip with like you think you're going to go back to it.
She's like, no, it's just oh my god.
Open.
That is such I have been doing that recently where I'm like, just take the just finish it. Close the cabinet, like screw on the top of that mascara or that foundation. Just do it, because there I do catch myself. It's funny when you catch yourself not doing it all the way and you go, why not why am I not.
Doing We can cheat?
It's like we can cheat is it'll cheat this but it doesn't work. Then you just have oneoundation by not doing.
That, like saving time, like let we'll dig into this more after the break. But that is so true. You think you're like getting away with something. But I do it all the time, and it's so simple to just shut a cabinet. But I just feel like I don't know why closing anything? All right, more with Rachel Einstein after this.
And we're back. Rachel, you did I want to talk to you about Kelly Clarkson? How was that?
Okay?
Kelly Clarkson was very lovely, very cool. She screamed a pet for cammy big Guy. She's like, nobody wants.
To call big guy.
I love her.
A lot of my favorite parts did not end up in the episode, Like because you know they could, they have to like chop it to a tiny piece.
She was like, Pete, nobody wants to be called big guy.
And then she said that one of her friends, I think her boyfriend called him her duke. And she's like, I now, duke is not a nickname or what for. She was fucking fun and she's.
Yelled him in a very satisfying way, like she was a girl's girl. She's like, yeah, no, it's not cute, it's not good.
Yes, and they stick yeah yeah.
And then Pete loved it. He got the band to play his big Guy's song. She he told her ahead of time. He's like, you know, there's a song. And then she's like, so, oh, here there's a big guy song. He's like, you know, it's really more of a jingle.
Kelly, I didn't know Pete sat down.
I thought I just saw him in the picture. I didn't know he was like the audience.
But she went to him once.
That's so funny.
He was not the slightest bit nervous he was just like, you know, oh, it's so ridiculous. She's like, He's like, you know, it's really more of a jingle, Kelly. And then he goes, you know, it goes She's my big guy. She's I'm like and they started singing, and the whole he's singing
To Kelly Clarkson