The Nicky Glizer Podcast.
Glaser.
Here's Nikki. Hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's Nicki Glazer Podcast. How you guys feeling out there today? I hope you're doing well. Thanks for listening to the show. I'm here in Saint Louis alone. Brian Frangie is here with us from La Noah is in Arizona. What's up, guys? How are you?
Yo? I'm to say yo again. I don't know what do you think?
I notice that you're bringing it back and like against your will. It's one of those where you're like, why am I saying this so much? More like you're cognitive cut Wait what you're doing it on purpose?
I am cognizant. I am not. I think it's just coming out of my mouth. I do not know why. I think it's from like the nineties, and I don't think it's coming back. Yo.
Now I say, I say yo when I answer the phone every time? Oh you do yeah pretty much every time? Yo. If it's a friend, always yo.
I have a different Hello for all musbody, my.
Friend yoom and then I say yo yo yo. Well you have to pretty much you have a different thing for every person that calls you.
Different people call me and I give them a hello that's requisite to their personality.
Okay, I.
Get nervous, really nervous Hello for you, Hello Hello, I think yeah, maybe that's for you.
That's your hello to everyone.
No, for some people, I go, I go, sup, dude.
Wait, guys, I'll go sup dude, really yeah? Is this real?
This is real? This is real.
Wait, I've never heard you even do that voice.
I mean, that's just because it's for certain people, for guys, for certain guys. For other guys, I'll go hey, For like Rob Stern, my really good friend Rob Stern, I'll go I'll go like hi, or like hey, or like what you know, something like really sure, like like it's one of those East Coast I'm I'm acting like I don't like you on purpose, but that means I'm really I really like you. Uh huh. That's that classic bit.
I have a problem with exiting off the phone, Like I just I you know, I classically have the Glazer exit, which is the thing my boyfriend coined ten years ago, eleven years ago when we started dating, where I if I'm ready to go, I just say it and then I get up and go I don't need to like talked about this before. I don't need to talk. I don't need to announce it and then say I'm leaving and like we're gonna go pretty soon. I just I just know what I want and then I do it.
And it's Enneagram three. It's just I don't waste time. I don't that is wasting time to me to be like, I'm gonna building this buffer so people are more comfortable with me leaving. Leaving like that doesn't save anyone time in life. It's I guess it's courteous, but why, like, why is it so discourteous? Is that the anti curteous? Why is it so discognizant to say that you're gonna
lead like leaving. I think people have a hard time with goodbyes because you know, the Irish exit is something to do because you're People say it's because they're they're tired and they just don't want to go say goodbye to everyone. But really, my old therapist, my abusive therapist, doctor abusive, she used to tell me that people are scared of goodbyes, so she would make people go to
three sessions to say goodbye to her. If you were like I'm done seeing you should be like, okay, we have to go do three sistans to say goodbye because everyone's scared of goodbyes and you have to lean into them and actually like you know, tease them out, which really she was maybe wanting to make more money, but I think that she had somewhat of a point, is that we're scared. I don't like that I even was
thinking about. I think with goodbyes, you start to say, even if it's just going saying goodbye for the night, like i'll see tomorrow, there's some kind of summary and there's some kind of like emotion that has to come out of it, of like it meant so much to me that you came, Oh, it's so good to see, Like there's too much emotion in it, and I want to slee from that. I think that's probably why I
don't like goodbyes. It's too like there's too many feelings involved and entirely could be the last time you see someone.
And also it just takes forever to say goodbye to someone. As an enneagram nine, yes, who feels the need to make sure that everyone's at peace with me leaving the room, which nobody gives a flying fuck.
It just takes for accresent of the fact that no one cares, but it doesn't change the fact. So you say goodbye to everyone when you leave a party.
Well, actually, after meeting you and learning the Glazier exit, which is like the best thing ever, because you've always taught.
Me that nobody cares.
No one's gonna remember that you left, especially at the end of the night where everyone's like have socialized, if they're drunk or whatever, like they're not thinking about you, so just go.
So that has helped me a lot. But do you if you're someone that would like to be said goodbye to at a party you're throwing, and then like if you found out someone left and they didn't say goodbye, if that would offend you, then I can see how
you might want say goodbye to people. But if if you put yourself in the shoes of someone who's hosting party and has to say not only hello to every person that arrives because they're the host, but then you have to say goodbye to like, do your host a solid and say, don't say goodbye, send a text the next day that they can thumbs up. Less less energy. You only have so much energy, and I do think there is something to goodbyes and we should lean into
them a bit more. And you know, you shouldn't ghost people. You should give them if you've dated them for a long enough time, you do owe them some kind of explanation. But even I was thinking about my birthday party coming up, like I'm having girls trip in Saint Louis. I'm pretty much just doing, you know, with all all the girls that can make it from girls Chat converging in Saint Louis. Over my birthday weekend, we're gonna do karaoke, and I told Anya this weekend, I was like, I need to
announce it on the girls Chat. I don't want any speeches about how much you love me, and like I don't want any toasts to me. I don't want any emotion about what I mean to you. I can't handle it. I already know, I really do. Like I know that my friends love me, I know that my family loves me. I don't. I don't. I really am uncomfortable, and it's just I should probably allow it because it's nice for people to express themselves and it's something that they want
to do. It's not always about me. And what I want. It's something that people are like, no, I want to give you this compliment or whatever the birthday. I just want them to write a card.
I'll read it, oh at card pointe or like.
My niece will read it when she's cleaning up my stuff. When I die someday, you know, like someone will read how much you loved me, and possibly it will be me. But I don't want to. I don't really like toast and I don't think I'm alone and not enjoying sincere moments of like, and everyone in my group of girlfriends is pregnant, and so I just don't There's going to be too many tears that I won't even be able to like accept because I'm like, oh, it's just their hormones.
This isn't even about me, It's about like a baby inside them. And so then I won't even be able to take it personally, and and then I will have to meet it. If I don't cry, then I'll feel like I don't do it, that I don't care enough or something. So I'm just like, I want to just treat it like a normal's girl's weekend, and it's we're not talking about my birthday at all, And it's not because I'm scared I'm turning forty. I don't mind. Like we can celebrate the number. We can celebrate. We can
have signs and candles and cake and everything. But just know, like Nikki, like you means I just in besties. I love when you write cards too, because that's that's where I get all that. And I like the meet and greet girls that cry and guys that say how much I mean to them and stuff like that.
They're one chance because it's quick and it has to.
Be quick because there's a line, not because I want it to be quick. But for some reason that doesn't I They're strangers to me, you know, just because I I've never usually seen them before. So I don't think I'm required as much except to just like listen and accept it. And I just sypricate. Really, I don't know why I can't handle it. I just have been like dreading birthday speeches. But they don't have to happen, right, Noah, Like everyone can not do one.
Of course, not as long as we can sing happy birthday to you, and by we I'll be there in spirit, because I won't be able to be there.
Oh, yeah, that's right, because you're in third trimest. Okay, so yeah, you won't be there, so you won't it's so, and you wouldn't. You wouldn't do it anyway because you're not a very like ting ding ding Everyone listened to me kind of person, right, Not that the other girls I would do it in the making it about them or something. But yes they can sing happy birthday, even though that's excruciating as well, and we can all agree with that.
What about out your funeral? What do you want people to say nice things about you?
Yeah? I'm not there, yes, oh absolutely, that's where that's when, that's when she wants it. Yeah, I'll be there watching from.
Some If you're a ghost and you're watching, you would be happy that people are saying nice things about you.
And if I don't like it, I can just duck out and go hang out with.
Go hang out Van, Brittany Murphy Man.
Go and Britney Murphy. Yeah. I just feel like, yes, funeral is where I want to be appreciated and all those things. But I it's so funny because I don't I don't know why I want other people to hear how great I am. But I don't want I don't want to hear it.
Hmmm. That why is that you're unwilling to accept anything positive because that's how you feel about yourself exactly because I.
Don't really believe it, and it feel it feels like I'm just like you're pouring water onto a rock when you give me compliments. Yes, but other people are grass and if and they can absorb the things that about me much easier and and believe that they're true than I can. And so it just feels like, yeah, crying on a rock.
There was an early date I had with Alley. We went to the gene Autry Museum, which is a West museum of the West and in Los Angeles, and they had an exhibit there that was like a little rock garden, and one of the things that they let you do was take a little bit of water and brush the rock, which I thought was so stupid. It was just like the.
Rock. Oh, it's so bad.
I couldn't stop laughing. It was like the It was like the only time in my entire life I laughed.
But that happens that museums all the time. Where like I went to the aquarium with my niece and nephew last week, and there's just so much stupid stuff that you're just like they just needed to have something for someone to do. Here there is a This isn't stupid because it's actually kind of cool, but it is annoying you put your hand. It's like those Japanese foot spots where the fish eat your cuticles. Oh yeah, yeah, and that's a that's a station at the Saint Louis Aquarium. No,
it's not. No one needs that. First of all, they starve the fish. In order for them to do it. The fish are not fed properly, so they're starving. Why do you think they attack your fucking like they start gnawing on any extremity that goes in is because they're so hungry with same with Japanese wip, like the dead skin and the salt and whatever is like the dirt on your fingers, on your hands. They like love eating
it because they're hungry. But guess what that is not only inhumane to deprive them of actual food to feed them human skin, but human skin is not their food, Like, that's not what they eat in the wild. It's like we're just having these kids put in their hands and these and it's.
So gross the way it makes it worse.
Oh, it's so disgusting.
Kids hands are covered in sticky fruit fruit roll up.
Oh yeah, they love. Oh those fish are so lucky to get that. But they're not because they actually should be eating actual fish food and not human So it was a weird part to have in this exhibit. It just felt like it felt like it was a Pita should have been up in there. There is Pita hates Japanese foot. There is.
To being a good curator of a museum, and sometimes are really stupid and bad, and sometimes they're good, Like there are parts of the Holocaust Museum that I liked, or the Holocaust Exhibit that I liked. The parts of the stupid we went, yes, that's right, we went together. We did a deep dive and.
You and at the Holocaust Museum, you can't be skipping apart, even though you go, this is lame and this is for babies and it's for people. It's just, you know, there were some cool things.
Let me just have sensory activities for kids at the Holocaust Museum.
Yeah, you can stick your hand in a gas chamber.
And you can build a Oh god, it was brutal. I do recommend going to that one. I don't think it's open anymore though, right.
Yeah, that's why we went. That's why we went. It was like the last weekend, big billboards, big billboards going across the four oh five all summer long, just said Auschwitz ending May twenty ninth or whatever, and that's when I knew I gotta go. It was it was really moving, yeah, except for the guard.
It happened in November. Yeah, the guards.
Yeah, I remember the guards were like move it along, people when we were in the train, turned into they turned into Auschwitz guards. That's a great episode of the Nicki Glazer podcast. You should listen to it. Go into the archives.
Yeah, go back and listen to through the Auschwitz Museum. Know that the aquarium also had a lot of touching things, which kids love to touch things, and if I was a kid, I would love to touch jellyfish and sting rays. But I'm so sorry these animals. It's they're trapped in this like a huge aquarium. It's a big box. It's so it's so depressing. Zoos and aquariums are fucking depressing, dude. I can't even believe people are.
There's only one. So in Arizona there's one. It's called Out of Africa, And I just want to say it's more of an animal sanctuary because the it's a privately run sanctuary and all all the animals there are saved by the owners. So basically they have this like huge playground of animals that they get to save and play with, and then the ticket sales help keep that place running.
Yeah. I don't think these otters were saved. I don't think they're being rehabilitated. I think they were bread in captivity or stolen from the wild, which is how a lot of zoos populate their things, is they're stolen from the wild. Dude, Like, uh, I just watched David Tell Special and he goes I went to Sea World or dos I call it aquatic Houschwitz speaking up.
Yeah, and then the aquarium for these fish is the ocean. I mean the ocean. You're just constantly being attacked.
And each can you imagine though these fucking jellyfish are You can't touch them below. You're supposed to like touch them with the two finger touch on top, just graze them gently, which how many kids abide by that? Half maybe? And then the others are just palming these things, and there's like a person who's been working there for eight hours watching over it. So they're not catching everyone who's man handling these Yeah, but they're they're so tired of
being there. And the jellyfish flip over. All of them are flipped over, and I go, I wonder why, because they don't want to fucking be touched anymore, because you can't touch them one that'll flipped over. So I go, interesting that all of these jellyfish are flipping over, all of them because they have been being touched. They're touched for sixteen hours a day, however long how twelve hours a day? These things are just being poked at by kids.
It's like the kids on the seat of Nickelodeon.
Oh I didn't watch that yet.
It was only got touched when the cameras went off. That is so disturbing. I cried last night, and I rarely cried. I I taken a lot of brutal things, and I rarely get like emotional and so angry watching something. But Quiet on Set on Max is so good and is all about Dan Schneider, this producer of Nickelodeon, shows that was like, you know, the Chuck Lory of Nickelodeon, pretty much like just hit maker for TV shows in the two thousands, and he's a fucking creep, always having
women massage. I'm on set, constantly making two women who worked for him, Uh, take one man's salary split a salary, split a salary, because there were women just always making them do sexual things, just making disgusting jokes, just this.
It was.
It's just that's horrifying. And you watch a couple of episodes of that ship going down and then him being kind of inappropriate with on the shows, just like doing you know, cumshots pretty much for jokes where a girl will get you escorted with goo in her face, zooming on their feet, zooming on them, sucking things. There's always jokes about sausages hitting get your face zoe one on one, all that making. There's a guy called Pickle Boy that
I remember from all that. I wasn't watching all that at the time, but Pickle Boy was this guy that would always show up with a huge thing of pickles and he was like ever present on all that throughout the two thousands. Turns out he was a massive pedophile, massive wow and uh, his victim. He eventually got caught because his victim was Drake Bell from Drake and Josh.
Was Drake.
Could have been him too, I mean he was on Degrassi. He was probably a kid during then. But Drake Bell from Drake and Jsh which was a humongously popular show prior to that. Stop making jokes. We're talking about child molestation. He hasn't watched it. You can't, like, I literally can't make jokes about it because I'm so incensed about it. This guy just tricked Drake Mill had an amazing father who would be on set watching closely, making sure that
nothing was happening that was inappropriate. And then he started seeing this guy just paying way too much to pick a boy. The guy who played pick a boy named Brian Pack, not to be confused with Josh Pack, who has played Josh on Draken or in Josh or Draken. Yeah, Brian Pack pickle boy would just touch him too much, help him with wardrobe, where he's like, he doesn't need your helpinging that on, and the dad alerted other parents started talking about it, like have you noticed this? All
the parents were just like no, it's fine. Then he went to I think he went to the heads. Did you watch it? No one? He went like, I saw the first episode.
Oh god.
The third is where it gets so fucking grizzly with this with Drake Bell talking about it for the first time. It's so sad. This fifteen year old kid gets preyed upon by this guy and there's nothing he can do about it. He doesn't have a license, he can't leave the house. That's happening in This guy by this time is like his best friend, a forty year old man who's inserted himself in his life, who's made him turn against his father. I mean, these pedophiles are so fucking.
There's also Amanda Bines.
Yeah it Dan, It's like, oh yeah, that was gross, and we don't really get details of what happens because she's not talking and he certainly isn't, but he is just disgusting. Dude, I can't even anyone. He literally said.
They have footage of him saying, you know, the cast all comes out and he's talking to the studio audience before taping and he's like, after the show, you can meet the cast, you can touch them anyway you want, You could ask them questions, you can ask them any inappropriate question you want, really get personal, make them feel awkward, like and he loved doing this thing on all that where he would make the kids do this like is
called like a live dare or something. I forget what it's called, but all the kids that are cast members come back and talk about it and they're like this that the live the live dares were the worst part of the show because he would make kids do fear Factor stuff and they couldn't say no. They're not adults and any any saying no on set would just make it so that you wouldn't get put on sketches. And he also he also did an interview where he says,
I love that these kids. Sometimes these kids try to rasp me and they get a little attitude and I go, I'm right the show. If you want to do that, I'll write you doing something really bad next week. He said that kids on it's so insane that this is
allowed to happen. But because it's allowed to happen, because he made hits and Nickelodeon didn't give a fuck, and no one from Nickelodeon ever reached out to Drake Bell after he went took this guy to court and had him arrested and he would later This guy who got arrested and is a child sex offender registered went on to work on other sets with children on the Disney Channel. Oh my god, Hollywood is discussed keep your kids the
fuck out of there. I'm serious, Like it's either they're getting fucked by the people making the shows or they're not getting roles. Like some of these kids were like, oh, you know, I was the favorite until an Amanda came along, and then she got all the attention, and then it quickly zooms into like Amanda becoming probably of slightly a
victim of some inappropriate behavior. We're not sure of Dan Seinder's, but it was really like, oh, I stopped getting I stopped getting like good parts because he wanted to molest someone else, yeah, or like whatever. It was like that's the vibe. Like, if you're a child actor who's working and getting a lot of work, it's because some man wants to fuck you. It's disgusting. Keep your kids out of it. Let them decide to get into it when they're adults and they can ruin their lives on their own,
because it is a life ruiner. It's not a good business Brian, would you let your kids be in Hollywood if they wanted to? How would you handle it? Because I kind of think I might kids, even though I just said that, because I think I'd be vigilant. I wouldn't let shit go down.
I think it's different nowadays than it was back in the nineties.
At think or two eleven.
I mean this wasn't even then. I mean I think things have changed, and hopefully that change sustains. If my kid came up to me and said I want to be an actor, then yeah, I would allow them to. I would. I would help them pursue it, for sure, but they'd have to say I want I don't want to be one of those parents who is like, you've got to be a star, You've got to go out there if you're not in Sestantme Street by six and you've nothing to do.
But the thing is, kids don't. If you like to act, it doesn't mean you'll like Hollywood. You know what I'm saying. Like it's a different thing. But I don't know. Let's talk about it more when we get back from break all right, we're back. I do think that if I had a talented child, that that loved performing. I would let them do that, but that would mean I would have to be watching them on set. You just have to be on set all the time.
You have experienced, like on actual sets, so you know how it kind of works, and I feel like you would probably be vigilant of this stuff.
But the truth is, like so many of these parents that were like, hey, my kids, let's just not even talk about sexual abuse. My kid is working too long of hours. My kid shouldn't be in this leotard because you can see his penis through it, and he's forced to be in this penis costume all the time with penis. These things on his shoulder that are supposed to be noses, but they look like penises because every these fucking sick fucks.
Remember when it was happening with Disney, Remember one like Disney, there would be hidden like penises on the Little Mermaid Castle and in the clouds on the Lion King it said sex. They love to like these sick fucks. If you're talented at making children's entertainment. Dan Snyder, who prides himself on like, I know how kids think. Why do you know how kids think? That's gross? Stop and stop
saying that people shouldn't. People should maybe study child psychology and have some sort of like be like, I'm an adult who has learned what children like, but don't admit that you know somehow because that's weird. I don't know. I just don't like. I don't like it at all.
And I think, yeah, the if you're a parent that notices those things, even me, I would feel like if my daughter was on a sketch show on Nickelodeon, and because I said, hey, she's working too long of hours, then she doesn't get in the next the show the next day or the next the next episode, she gets cut from a lot of stuff because she needs to work less and all the other kids are working way harder like I would, and she would probably be mad
at me. I know I would be mad at my mom, like just shut up, mom, let me work, like I don't know that I'd be strong enough to put my foot down like that. If all the other parents who are so desperate for their kids to be famous put up with so many abuses happening. And this isn't all the parents. A lot of the parents on the the show were good. That's the problem. Is like it's just a tricky business, and it's all about power. And if you have power in the business and you're making these
businesses money, they don't care what you do. It's just that's the way it is. The Me Too movement is the reason Dan Snyder ever got fired is because suddenly these women who had watched him getting demanding massages from these wardrobe from the women in the wardrobe department who were outfitting three shows with tons of kids, so busy. They would get texts from him being like, come downstairs and massage me. And she's like, if she doesn't do it,
she'll get fired. It won't be about that, but that will be the result of it. So she has to go with massage guy. They were putting up with it for years. There was not a day or she was like usually it was daily, but there was not a week that went by that too. He wasn't being massaged by some woman whose job it was not to massage him. And they for years until twenty seventeen eighteen when Me Too happened, and then they all got the balls to go, actually,
this isn't cool, and what a cool movement. I know everyone like jokes about it, but that really was like such a churning point. People just suddenly had the guts to stand up and like call stuff out. And it's still stuff is still happening all the time. I mean, the Diddy thing is insane. Diddy's on a jet right now to an island where he can't be arrested, Like he had a plan to get out of the country as soon as they caught him for trafficking charges. I think.
And someone made the point that by the time your home is raided by the Feds, they have a lot of evidence on you. That's not just like we're just gonna see what's in there. That's like, we know what's in there.
Yeah.
Did he has been around for decades? Do you think he just started doing this stuff in the past couple of years. No, it's crazy.
It's not just Hollywood. It's all businesses, all operation, it's all power politicians, Epstein Island, it's all it's all a part of any power structure. It feels like, how though.
If you're one power structure, yeah, yeah, or one at the top. But it's just such a weird thing. If you're into little kids, it's so powerful. How do you bring that up with someone and see if they are too, like how do you even I don't even want to I'm just floating that as like how do these people find each other? Because it is like, is the most insane thing. And by the way, if you want to fuck kids, I'm not mad at you because you didn't choose to want to fuck kids, but you got to
get help for it so that you don't. You know, like, I'm mad at you if you fuck kids and you touch them and you abuse kids. But if you want to, you can't help that, and that is a sickness in your brain that you need to treat and make sure that you don't touch kids. So it's not it's not a bad thing to be attracted to kids, because that is a something a disorder in your brain that you didn't choose, but you gotta do something about it.
And it isn't connecting with stuff. I think you're like in the right line when you're seeing it's like a power thing. I think it's more about that than like kid attraction.
It's just like a oh yeah, just doing the weirdest thing and like the most fucked up thing, and like.
We yn't I have the past because he also did it to the grown women in the writer's room.
I mean, you know, like all the stories that they tell, so I think that might not be a pedophile, but they're the guy. They's definitely sick. I don't. I do know that people that watch child born a lot of them based on this podcast I listened to from Sam Harris, and I've said this a million times, A big percentage of people who watch child pornography and trade it and consume it are not pedophiles. They're not attracted to children.
It's just where porn ends. If you follow porn to its conclusion of brutality and extremity, it ends with kids. So those are people on like that have a porn addiction that just went too far, if that makes sense. So it's not always about being attracted to kids. Sometimes it's just because you're so fucking sick. That's like you need the next sick thing. And that's It's fun Hollywood. Yeah, what's going on in fun Hollywood? Is there fun on
your weekend? Oh? Yeah, that was a fun, fun Hollywood weekend. I went to the Mark Twain Prize on Sunday night after our shows. We did shows this weekend and Gary, Indiana on Friday Saturday. We're in Cincinnati. Those are so fun Brian was there. We'll talk about those. But yes, Sunday night, I went to the Mark Twain Prize in DC, which my brain was your second one produces. Yes, was my second in a row, and it was so star studded.
It was so funny. It'll air on in May. I don't want to say the date because it kind of coincides with another date that's coming up that's a bigger deal for me. So watch it eventually, but don't watch it premiere night because I think something else premiere Night is happening that.
Is just the same day. Yeah, oh, get out of here, I said.
Oh, Chris Convey producing two things, the two things you produce in a year, both airing the same night. So anyway, watch the other thing that's coming out that date. But I'm not going to say the date yet because I can't announce anything. But anyway, it was Jerry Seinfeld, it was Chris Rock, it was Dave Chappelle, it was Chelsea Handler, it was Jimmy Fallon, it was a little Dicky, It was Robin Thick, it was Nelly, Nick Cannon, and I don't know who else. It was just so many and
obviously Kevin Hart. They were honoring Kevin Hart, and it was so star studded and it was incredible. And Keith Robinson the Rock was not there, but you didn't miss him. Yeah, I gotta be honest, what, guys, what's your favorite Kevin Hart movie?
I don't even I couldn't even tell you. I don't I've ever seen one.
Okay, well, let's talk about this, because that is a question that got asked me on the Red carpet and I realized I have never seen a Kevin Hart movie.
Yeah, I just know. I just like and people.
And I go, well, so I should say a movie I've not seen and lie on the Red carpet because it's just to be nice and just say whatever movie I can think of. I didn't want to do that, like I they I didn't. I planned for the Red Carpet. Here's my things I'm gonna say about Kevin Hart, Here's what I admire about him. I did not think that they would ask me for a specific movie. What's your
favorite Kevin Hart movie? And I literally froze and was like, uh, and I'm literally trying to think of a favorite one, you know, like, Okay, let me think of the ones I've seen and then let me pick the favorite. But it looks like I'm just like should I lie? And there's a part of me that was like should I lie? And then I was like, I don't even know if I could, because I can't even come up with the name of a movie because I don't really watch movies
that much. I don't know if you've noticed. I watched the Oscar Best Pictures this year, but that was the most movies I've ever seen in my life in a time period since eighth grade. I just I would definitely have seen a Kevin Hart movie if he was around in nineteen ninety eight to two thousand and two. But I don't watch movies anymore. And they andally, I just
go ah. And there's literally three microphones in my face, four video cameras pointing at me, and I'm like, oh my god, this is gonna be so embarrassing, Like this is going to end up on Reddit. This girl is on the red carpet pretending to be a huge Kevin Hart fan, which I wasn't, by the way, And I am a huge Kevin Hart fan in my own way, but I wasn't pretending to be. I was like, I just go, I'm here because my boyfriend produces this. Okay, I'm not trying to be anything. I'm not. I've never
seen a Kevin Hart movie. I think I'm realizing I've never seen a Kevin Hart movie. And yeah, they all laughed, and I go, I don't like. It was almost like a gotcha moment, and and I felt so I started having a panic attack because I was like, this is going to be so embarrassing. I look like a dumb white girl who like doesn't like I don't know. I just felt like it was like a I don't know.
I was just in my head about it. And so I don't know, if you've ever been on a red carpet, no, but if you, but if you, it's already so much pressure. I already was feeling not that cute, Like my hair extensions were too blunt, and so it was like my hair was like natural, and then there were like these chunky, blunt extensions that were just poorly cut, and I looked it looked like I remember John Travolta in that movie where he has like ten yrols coming out of his head.
He's like a action star. It almost looked like dreadlocks.
Yes, actually what I looked like a scientology movie. Really yeah, that movie was like scientology propaganda.
Oh my god. But the and they go. Well, before that happened, I was interviewed by a comedian who I know, Reese Waters, and he goes, what's your favorite Kevin Hart bit? And I blanked again, and I don't know. I've seen Kevin Hart stand up a lot, but I don't remember bits. I just watched Dave's David Tell special and I couldn't tell you. I can tell you maybe one joke, and I would butcher the Auschwitz one. I kind of butchered it. I'm not And I don't know what Kevin Hart bit?
And so I go, Reese, I go, I don't. And then I felt like he thought I'd never seen Kevin Hart's stand up or something, or that I was. I don't know, it just felt I go Reese. As a comedian, you know, we see, first of all, we don't like watching stand up comedy. I don't like watching comedy, and I certainly don't like watching Kevin Hart, who is like, uh, seems so he's too good, you know, like he's too natural and good of a storyteller, and like it just
comes too naturally to him, and it bothers me. So I don't I really don't like to watch people who I think are are talented in ways that I'm not drawn to that. And so I already was stressed out about answering that and saying and not being able to come up with the Kevin Hartbitt that I loved, and then I go a couple more interviews later and I'm coming down from that. So that's in the back of my head, like, oh my god, you're such an idiot.
That's gonna come out. You're gonna look like such a fraud. All the say sweating.
This is hyperventilating extensive questioning on a red carpet that I've seen. Usually they ask like silly questions.
Like I was furious, Noah, I there was. I had no publicists there because I just didn't and so you were just you are on the red carpet by yourself. Usually, if you've watched red carpet footage, there's someone like ushering someone through and they go, sorry, she can't talk. There's someone else telling the person for them, And I'm usually down to talk to everyone, but I was I hadn't eaten enough that day, so I was feeling low blood sugar. I had rushed to get ready. I was coming from
hair and makeup that I was feeling. The hair part, I was just my extensions were good. The rest was amazing, but I was just feeling blotchy with my spray tand was Zara, and it like didn't fit properly. I just felt like not put together in the way I wanted, and so I was feeling stressed out. I did the pictures and that was stressful enough because I just was like, didn't know what poses to do. I was just not in a good headspace at this thing. I was tired
and I was underfed. And then the question started, and I'm not kidding you. I did fifteen interviews. Fifteen there was a microphone after microphone after microphone, and you talk to each person for three three minutes at least, and then so I am the first interview I did. I couldn't come up with a bit of his and I
feel like an idiot. I feel like a fraud. I feel like just my mind goes to You're gonna get canceled because this seems like you are like lying about liking someone that you're here to support and this is a night to honor him, and you are just you got caught trying to compare it to like a moment
where someone gets caught being fake. But I just felt busted, like you're not a real Kevin Hart fan because I don't know it's he was, He's I like him, Okay, you know I think he's I think he deserves this award? Do I have to be a fan of every fucking thing?
And so?
And everyone's talking like he's Obama, you know, like he changed the world, and every interview is like why does he deserve this? Why has he been such an influence to you? And I'm like, he hasn't been. No, I mean he he has in terms of his work ethic, And so I was able to summon why I really love Kevin Hart. And you can listen to those interviews because I figured out a line of logic that worked
for me after failing so much. But then I get to the one where they go with your favorite Kevin Hart movie and I blanked, and there's all these cameras look at me, and I rarely can't don't say anything and I then jump to right to defensiveness because I see that they're all like, you don't even know Kevin Hart movie? Oh my god, what are you doing here? And I'm like, I'm not gonna lie. I've never seen I don't think i've ever seen one. And then I'm like,
but I don't really watch movies. I forget why I said. I was like, I don't need to defend this. I'm allowed to be here and to have not seen a Kevin Hart movie. I didn't say all this, but I was right, like, isn't a crime to not have seen a Kevin Hart movie?
I don't think so.
Someone Chris was telling me all the Kevin Hart movies, and I go, I don't. I don't really care about seeing any of those. I don't feel like I'm sad that I've never seen Raiders of the Lost Arc. I'm sad that I've never seen Wedding Crashers. I should see The Godfather. I should see The Godfather Part too. I know there's certain movies that I should see. Get hard. I don't think I need That's like I need to see it, or do you?
Okay, let's play a game. It's called It's it's called is this a Kevin Hart movie? Or is this a random word generator title? Okay, here's the first one, still Pavement.
Well, that's random.
Okay, that is random. Yes, okay, here's another one, The ghost Writer.
Random.
That's correct, that is random. All right, here's another one.
Uh, night School, Night School is Kevin Hart. Okay, now I know, but this is not going to be delete me is random. The reason I know these now is because I went through a whole night of celebrating Kevin Hart, so I am very familiar with his filmography at this point.
Are you what about the Man from Toronto?
Random?
Read? That is a Kevin Hart movie? What from twenty twenty two? That's right, it is a Kevin Hart movie.
I should have just said any fucking thing and they would have believed it. I'd be like, it's this obscure thing he did try to make. It's an indie project he did in twenty seventeen. No, I can't do that.
You know, time me?
Time was that one? No, that's that sounds like it was. I'm having a response again to this. I'm getting like hives and I feel like my throat closing because I seriously couldn't handle how I answered, and then I you know, like when you trip or follow something and then you get angry instead of like because you're so embarrassed. So I was so embarrassed. Yeah that I was like so fucking mad that these people tried to that asked me that question. And it's a normal question. I mean, he's
done a lot of movies. They weren't trying to get.
Me, But the question should have been, you know, if if Kevin sees this interview, what do you want to tell him? Or like, what's your favorite thing about Kevin?
Would have been nice to keep it broad because I actually had really interesting things to say about Kevin. I was the only one that was talking about his plant based burger chain that I fucking love because he's making fast food for plant based people, which is a really fucking political hearthouse. There are four locations now in the southern California area.
More wow. Uh.
He also, I just I had a lot of stories to tell about him. He was really nice to me when I did his celeb game face show, and he was really nice to my mom, and I had a story about that and everything, Like I had moments to talk about, but I kept getting these specific questions and okay, so then I am I've never felt well, i haven't felt this level of panic, and I'm going to faint because I'm so upset and I want to cry and I want to faint because I chugged a coke before.
I never I only drink diet coke. I've literally never had a coke since I was five year fifth grade. And I chugged a coke right before I went on the red carpt because I was already feeling so out of it and like low blood sugar faint. And then that happened and I was about to pass out on the red carpet, I'm not kidding you. And then I so I get done with the There's a whole row of people with video cameras and microphones, all the press. There was so much press here. It was like the
fucking Oscars. It was insane. I've never done this much press for anything, and I had no publicist to be like, hey, she only can do a couple like oh, just oh, just every single person just next down the line, and they're not even gonna use it, you know, like I'm
the least famous person there. And so after we get done with all the After I get done with all the interviews with the camera people with cameras, there's a line of people that with just you know, handheld recorders that are just reporters for publications, and that was just there was like a cleave in the line of people right there was like a little space between them and I because before then it had been like one microphone and then you just you turn to maybe go away
or go you know, skip someone, and there's another microphone in your face. You can't. You have no moment to go, Hey, can I not do this? So I'm just like stuck. I felt like I was stuck in a uh in a river like rapids, and I'm just hitting different rocks.
And then now I'm feeling like I'm gonna pass out, puke and faint all at once because I'm so embarrassed and I'm just thinking my careers over because I just got outed as lying about liking Kevin Hart when I really don't, when I really actually do, and I felt like they're gonna make fun of me, and I don't know.
I was just really going to some dark places all while trying to look beautiful and suck in and be really eloquent and funny, and then with no help, no one next to me, no one getting me out of this, no assistance, no one running the red carpets even look to And it's a really well run event, but this was a fucking blind spot. And next year, if I do this, I will not I will have someone with me, even if they're pretending to be my publicist, which is
all you really need to do. You just need to have someone, Yes, thank you, Noah, please please be there for that. So there's a little space and I go, I said to the next reporter who's holding a recorder. I just go, hey, I can't do anymore. I'm so sorry. I just do not feel well. And they go, oh, okay. So when the camera's not on, you don't want to partake, Oh for the newspapers, you don't care for print journalism.
You think, oh, who gives a fuck, And it's like Jesus, oh, so now you're making They didn't all say that, but there was this overall grown and I understand they're at the end of the line and they probably do get passed over by people who are just like, if it's not on camera, I don't care because it's you know, print journalism is going away, and I feel like they already feel, you know, disenfranchised. So it looked like I was just saying, if my face isn't involved, I don't
want to be and part of it. So they kind of go like, oh, come on, I go, no, it's not that. It's because I don't feel good and I have anxiety right now and I'm like literally starting to almost start to cry. And I go and they go, well, you could just answer a couple and we'll all record at the same time, and I was like, okay, good. So then they did that, and I answered some questions about to cry, like on the verge of tears, like it is literally you know when your cry is right here?
I would have been better at answering that that could have been a number of that number like seven pounds could have been the name of a show he did or a movie he did, So you know when your cry is right here?
Yeah? Like, and you are a gobbler, Like what is that?
I hate not having control over my body. That's why I don't like orgasms. That's why I don't like going on roller coasters. I like, that's why I don't like watching scary movies. I don't like. I don't like being like any jump scare. I want control and I was losing control. And also Curran Chris's brother is watching me.
He's behind the report, so I see him watching me, and I see him see the moment where I go like searching for a Kevin Hart movie in my head but actually one that I've seen and I can't come up, and I see him kind of look like oh no, and he looks scared for me. So I'm just like, it's all of this pressure, and yeah, he's just like wow,
she looks like she's struggling. And then so I get done with the interviews with the publications and I just and then I walk away, and I'm about ready to burst into tears, like I am I'm like, I can't great now, I can't even enjoy this fucking show because I'm gonna be in my head the whole time being like what did I say? Why did I say that? Why am I such a failure? Why did I Why am I even here? Like I should have never done the Red carpet, like this is embarrassing, Like I'm not
a huge Kevin Hart fan. Why am I pretending to be one, and I was like freaking out. And I'm only sharing this because I think people can relate, and I just want people to know that, like it is all a act a lot of times for people to seem entertaining and like confident, because even though you probably know that from this podcast that I'm not all of those things. But that's ended up what I said to the prin journalists people, I go, you want to know why I love Kevin Hart because he is pure. I
admire his confidence. And that sounds like a dig because it sounds like you're just saying someone's not talented, they're just confident or something. I'm like, no, he's already has talent. But no one believes in Kevin Hart more than Kevin Hart. And he's a testament to if you love yourself enough, what you can do, if you don't question yourself, if you really love yourself, and you are never going to abandon yourself and you're always gonna be there for yourself
no matter how much you fuck up. Kevin Hart has his own back, you know. And I said, have your own back. He's going back. So they're like nodding along like yes, girl, yes, and I'm like, finally sticking the landing from my fucking talking point, and I go, I am not a confident person. I'm not feeling I was like, I as someone who really struggles with my confident and I know that looking at me, it seems like I am.
But you if you talk to my girlfriends, you would all they would all say that I'm probably the least confident of all of them. And I know that shocking. But most comedians are not confident. And the ones that are most successful are the ones that figure out a way to fucking like themselves. Those are the ones that their talent matches their amount, that they believe in themselves. And I really struggle with that, and that's what I
admire in him. And they go, thank you, okay, and then they put the you know on to the next person. And then I stepped off and I was about to go cry. And then I saw her in and he was like what happened because he was a little bit worried, but he was like, oh, it'll be fine, and I go, I need to go talk to them. So I went back to the print journalists and I said, and they weren't recording me. I go, hey, guys, I just want
to let you know. I totally was not trying to pass you over because I don't admire what you do or like for any other reason than the fact that I was on the verge of a panic attack because of some questions that got asked before that I fucked up, So I had nothing to do with you, guys. I just want to let you know I love you, thank you,
and good night. Then I've walked off, and I felt good about that, but then I was like still panicking about my answer to like not knowing his movies, and then I was talking to I went to go talk to So I haven't seen Chris in like two or three weeks, right, and I'm seeing him for the first time, and he is about to produce this live show. So he's taking a minute from his night before it begins to go say hi to me and Karin, and I'm like, I fucking I was like, babe, I know you're busy.
I was like, I just have to say, I'm just I can you just like make me feel calm about what just happened? And I told him what happened. He goes, oh, they won't use it, and I go, wait, why wouldn't they use that? It's so funny that I didn't know any Kevin Hart movies and I'm out of Kevin Hart Awards ceremony. And he was like, because they only want to make Kevin Hart look good, and I was like, oh, and then he walked away and I just all of
a sudden relaxed in my whole body. And Kern was like, Kerin had been talking me off the ledge for an hour prior to that, right before we got to see Chris. And Kerr goes, why couldn't I do what Chris just gave to you? And I was like, dude, you did so well, you said everything you possibly could. But I forgot that aspect of it that Hollywood is a star maker machine, right. Everything is going towards making celebrities look perfect, and they aren't really the ones that ever try to
embarrass celebrities. Like some of that happens, but it's usually when they've already picked a victim, where we're like, this person's to be made fun of, and we're always going to find things to make fun of them. Even TMZ is uplifting celebrities, they're only making fun of the ones. We've all decided we should trash them now. So no one's like trying to generate new celebrities to trash or make fun of art right or me. You know, like, no one's trying to have a get you a moment
with me. And I'm coming from this place of like I'm on Reddit so much, and so I see all these gaffes of certain celebrities and I'm picturing myself becoming one of them, and I was like, oh, that's right. Like everyone press, it's like the Royal well, you know, like the Royal family and the British Press are like in bed together. Even though they seem at odds because the press comes after them, they really work together to build up the royal family and they both need each
other and without each other, neither could exist. That's what celebrities and press are. Press is never trying to like make a celebrity look bad unless we all agree. Everyone's just trying to make everyone look good. So when he said that, I was like, oh my god, it's so logical, like yeah, they would never use that. No One's like it might resurface in like ten years of like look at this embarrassing moment on a red carpet, but it's not gonna be now, and so I was able to
relax and actually have fun. But it was the worst moment of my career. I think honestly, the way it felt in my body, it was worse than fainting on stage. Yes, because this the scale of this was larger. Yes, fainting on stage was probably the uh No, dancing with stars being eliminated first was the worst. Yeah, And being said that I was awkward and that I'm not a good dancer, and being laughed at by like goodman, rest in peace, you bastard. Actually, we'll talk more about this when we
get back, because we have to take a break. Nain, Okay, we're back.
Why did you faint on stage?
In two thousand and seven, when I was performing at Hennessy's in Dana Point, it was like a restaurant and I was on stage and I hadn't eaten enough that day, and I smoked a little weed and I ran before the show. That was also what was going on. I had not eaten enough, I had run on a treadmill before, Like, I just set myself up to be anxious. And then the second I was doing well on stage too, and I just started blacking out and I had never blacked
out before. And I go, I think I'm gonna faint because I wasn't I couldn't remember my jokes, like my brain was failing me. And then it started getting tunnel vision and I didn't know what was happening, but I just go, I think I'm gonna faint. And then I looked at the woman in the front row and I go, is that awkward? And she said yes, and I said it is. And that's the last thing I said. I know, well, it was before awkward was like a catchphrase.
I have to say.
This was two thousand and seven. Awkward wasn't like. I just was like, is that I don't know what My brain wasn't working. I don't know if anyone here has ever fainted. But you aren't cognitively with it. No, you're not cognizant. And she goes yeah, and I and I go, it is, like I questioned, it, like it is. And then when I fainted, I kept the microphone next to my mouth and I was mumbling things all the way down. It was really embarrassing. It was the most embarrassing moment
in my life. And I came to I can't ever heard this, dude. I fainted in front of a room of probably three hundred people. Wow, and it went dead silent. The MC came up and rescued me. I don't know exactly how it went down because I fainted, but I nearly fell off the stage because it was just a stage that was built up in the middle of this room, like there was no back to it, there's no wall. So I almost fell off the back of this platua. But these guys came up and caught me, and I
just kind of crumpled. And then I kept talking, and I'm like, and I had a dream while I was fainted that I fainted on stage, and I was like, and then I was also in the ocean, like rolling around in waves. And then I woke up from a dream. Yeah, I woke up from a dream that I had fainted on stage. And I've told this story before, but you know when you wake up from a dream that's really bad, like a nightmare, and you go, oh my god, thank god, Oh my god, I'm so glad that didn't happen. That's
how I woke up. I go, oh, oh my god, that would have been the worst embarrassing thing ever, the god that was a dream, Oh my god, it wasn't. And I all of a sudden look around and I'm like, this is real. And because I was so embarrassed, the anger came through like it did on the Red Carpet when I snapped at them and go, I'm not supposed to know Keevin art movie or whatever I said. The anger came through and I stood up in the adrenaline
and I go and I ran. I ran out of the room right and then I'm and I went right to the bathroom, final thought. So I fainted, I stood up, I ran. The room is dead quiet, like I woke up because of the quiet. Right, I ran to the bathroom. I'm in the bathroom, alone in the women's room, and no one's coming in to like help me or check in on me. But I'm in the stall and I'm really thinking my career is over. My career is not even begone. This is two thousand and seven. I'm going
to New Faces very soon. This was planning to go to Montreal, New Faces, Big Opportunity. Rest in peace, Rest and peace as well, Len Goodman, and New Faces.
Yes are everything that embarrassed you is now going to hell. Watch how Hennessy's fell into the ocean.
I think it's still around. I would love to go back to the scene of this crime. But it was so Someone's written to me. They heard me telling this on another podcast, and I was like, oh my god, I know Hennessey's and Dana point. So I am in that stall and I'm just like, oh my God, like this is gonna get out. It just felt it felt the same way I felt in that Kevin Hart moment, actually, because I'm like, you, dumb bitch, you didn't eat enough today. This is what I feeling when I fainted. You didn't
eat enough. You're kind of anorexic right now, and you're not admitted to yours. It's the thing you're hiding from people. You're not telling people you're not eating, but you're trying to lose weight so you can have some sort of control when you're in Montreal, because you know you're not funny enough to go, so you have to be thin because then that'll be some kind of achievement. I don't know what was going on in my head, but I felt like I had I had been doing sneaky things
and I was busted, like I fainted. I had been anarexic at that point for you know, five years, and I had never fainted. And as an anirexic, you're constantly getting up and like losing kind of getting stars and like almost passing out. But then you catch yourself and you're like, Okay, still got it. And I had. It just felt like a moment of such weakness and what an idiot. You're an adult woman who's fainting on stage.
And I felt like, I don't know, you know, in that moment where you're not thinking rationally, You're like, my life is over. This is gonna get out. People are gonna find out. I don't I can't even play out how it ever could have gone that way, because who gives a fuck? Right, you know, even if I was famous and fainted, like who everyone just has computishit for someone.
Who faces empathy, like the person in the front row was totally wrong, and it was sent you into this headspace. You it's not awkward to faint on stage. It's frightening, and it's you're concerned about the awkward. It depends how you fall. I guess if you like hit your head.
Yeah, it was probably awkward that I was asking, well, she was just felt like put on the spot. She didn't thought it was a part of your act. A lot of people did. They were like, was that a bit? And I'm like, why would that ever? I guess if I was like cofmanesque but like that, I would never do that. And not that anyone knew my style then I was literally unknown. But I was in that stall just thinking like, my life is over. This is going to get back up to LA. They're going to kick
me out of the festival. I'm a liability. I think that's where a lot of it comes from. A lot of shame comes from, like your liability. And even on that red carpet, I'm like, oh, you dumb bitch. Like you could have on the way over in the car, instead of talking to Current about whatever fun thing you wanted to talk about, you could have said, Hey, what's just some things I could talk about with the Kevin Hart thing? Can we go over some Kevin Hart movies?
Like I could have been, you know, practicing and getting ready, But instead I was like, Hey, what's been going on in your life? And blah blah blah and just wanting to have fun and it's like it I started beating up on myself for not doing enough hard work and for like not eating enough. And why did I go on the treadmill for an extra ten minutes that probably depleted me in a way that I couldn't come up with Kevin Hart movie to lie about? Why would I
even lie? Why haven't I seen a Kevin Hart movie? I'm a bad person. Kevin Hart is a national treasure. What's wrong with me? Why do I Why am I in entertainment if I've never seen a Kevin Hart movie? Why do I expect to be in movies if I haven't like all these things?
Oh? Boy?
So I'm in that stall in two thousand and seven though, and I'm like it's over for me. And then I was like so embarrassed that I got angry and I just ran out of the bathroom and to a room of people that is waiting for me to emerge from the bathroom, trying to collect themselves figure out what's going on, what's going on with the show. No one's in the bathroom because there's no women on the show that are running the show to come checking on me. They're all men.
So they're like, there's no one coming in, right, so I'm probably in there for a minute. I burst out of the doors, burst out onto this room of three hundred people. It's literally the bathroom's right next to the stage, so they're all facing me, and I go, is anyone gonna fucking help me?
Then?
And I look at them all just like rabbit right, and then I beline it right right into the kitchen, right off to the right. I see the kitchen doors and I bang through the double doors, and I was like, give me a piece of bread, like I just needed some kind of you know, obviously my blood sugar had failed, so I was like, I need some food, and they give me food, and I'm then I'm embarrassed that I yelled because that was so not cool and it's no
one's fault except my own. And then I'm in the kitchen hiding, trying not to ever have to go back out there, and I'm crying, and I'm asking for my friend Taylor Williamson, who was there. I was like, I need Taylor, where's Taylor? And then he comes in. He's so shooken up. I was so embarrassing to see how scared he was felt. I felt so bad and then I, oh, I eventually had to walk out into the room to like leave, and like everyone started applauding, and that was made me.
That's why you don't want birthday speeches because it brings up that trauma.
It's just too much attention and it's too sincere and it's like sweet and they were all happy I was alive, but so yeah, it kind of was the same vibe. No, it's a good connection.
What was your exit strategy after that? Which is a Kevin Hart movie? It is right, that's yes. So I.
I just ate dinner because I had planned on I was broke at the time, right this two thousand and seven. So when you would get these gigs, you would get to eat one meal at the place and you can get whatever you wanted. So I got this badass salad that was filled with stuff and I was so excited to eat it. But when I got there, they were like, can you go at first? And I was like, I really need to eat. I knew that I was suffering
because I hadn't eaten all day. It was my one meal a day because I was really you know, dieting, and and they go, don't you can just eat your food will be ready as soon as you get off stage, and I go, yeah, okay, fine, big mistake. So I ate my food and then everyone was like, she can't drive back on her own. I'm like, I swear to
God I can. I am fine, And so it was a big fight with everyone to let me drive back on my own, and they eventually did, and then nothing happened to I just went to Montreal and bombed my face off. And that brings us to my conclusion on Kevin Hart, which is I bombed at Montreal. Bombed for me. It wasn't bombing, but like at Montreal, you want to stand out, and I just didn't. I was beat blow mediocre right, and I was too thin, and it was like I didn't even look good. I looked sick. I
had bags under my eyes. I was I had a crush on this guy and I kind of got too drunk and threw myself at him and got rejected and felt really embarrassed by that. I was also on the same dance floor where I threw myself at that guy while we were slow dancing. Later on, we were fast dancing and I slipped and fell and like sprained my wrists. So I had like a I had to have my
wrist bandage. So I was like drunk and dry and hungry and not funny this entire special or this entire time, and I was just I just felt like such a fraud, like what are you doing here? And I was drinking too much. It was my life was just in shambles, right, and my bones were so brittle. That's probably why it broke,
because I wasn't feeding myself. But then I went to go see this comic that was the talk of the fest and he was having like he was doing his first like big theater shows, and he was the show to go see. There's always like for every year, it just for laughs, there's like one guy who's like, this guy's taking over the world. He's the next big thing. Kevin Hart. I'd never heard of him, went to go see him in two thousand and seven, which was confirmed
later on by people at the party I go. I saw Kevin Hart for the first in two thousand and seven. They were like, that's the year he broke. That was the year that like, that was that summer and I goes Montreal, they were like, that was the festival, that was the moment, and I went to go see him, and I had to leave because I was so depressed at how good he was and how young he was, because he's not that much older than me. He's like, I think he's like forty five. He's like six years
older than me. That's crazy five years older than me, and he was just crushing it away. I could never even is he it's get the fuck out. He's forty four. Yeah, he's been around for so long. He's so fucking good and and and so that was my whole story, was like, I Kevin Hart, I the reason I can't watch him is because he's too good and I spun it right. But that is actually if we're getting at the root
of why I haven't seen Kevin Hart movies. Yes, they don't always appeal to me because they're like, you know, uh, they're just like broad comedies that I'm not even watching specific comedies. I don't really and comedians don't really always like comedy. But he also is just too naturally talented and it bugs me. Yeah, And that was kind of the vibe of the night, was everyone was just like, you're just so naturally talented, and you believe in yourself
too much. And we all don't. We don't. We don't know why.
Commercials he's also great in commercials.
Yeah, I mean DraftKings is the kind of the only thing that I see him in. What commercial would i've seen him in? I don't watch commercials sports right now. I just see it on like the Reddit one where it's a still image of him and he looks good at that.
And he's hilarious in like subway and State, State Farm, sometimes various he just pops up in various places.
What what was the best part about it for me? Which I haven't seen someone else do at the Mark Twain Prize is like heckle the people who are insulting him in a way that was so fucking on point. So someone would make a joke about Kevin Hart and he'd go like, come on, Chelsea, come on like he would he would like come at her, back at her in a way that was really fun and like the banter at it was so fun. And there is a moment that happens at the Mark Twain Prize. Keith Robinson
did something impromptu. Keith Robinson, who has had two strokes and had to walk out on stage with his cane and talk slower, and it's very hard to understand. Now even though you know he's he's his mind is still sharp as fuck, but he's just talking slower, and he's it's a little slurred, and he has a cane and he's just slow. But there's a moment with him that is one of the funniest things I will ever witness
in my life. And you must watch it at some point when the Mark Twain Prize comes out on Netflix. It was not planned and it was so hilarious. And then also there was another moment that Kevin Hart had later in the evening that just solidified how extraordinary he was because it was another unplanned moment that was just top notch. But there was it was it was savage. He was so good, and like God, Chappelle, Chappelle goes.
Chappella goes out and does this amazing monologue that has a point, it's poignant, it's funny, it has a beginning, middle, and end. It callbacks to things, and the guy doesn't even have notes in the prompter for it.
Wow, he's probably riffing, He's.
What the fuck, dude.
Yeah, it's just.
I was very curious to hear what they each had in the prompter, and some had the whole script and some had just bullet points. This is based on, you know, my connections with the production team. I had to suck some dick to get these answers, you guys. But I was like, did Chris Rock have notes? He's like, get
down on your knees. I'll tell you after Uh yeah, for ten years I've been doing this all to get the answers to Chris Rock has anything in the prompter when he gives a speech about Kevin mart But Chapelle had nothing, and that really, uh you know what that means, Brian. I mean, I think a lot of people do think comedians just riff, but that is extraordinary, extraordinary.
He probably thought about it for a little while, but then I bet you he went up there and that's what he does. That's what he does on stage.
That's what we were debating. Do you think he was backstage? Do you think he had a moment of like piecing it together in his head and kind of going over it. And I think, without question he did this. Isn't he could do it off the dome without any problem. But I definitely don't think he's someone who doesn't prepare. He prepares in his own way. He just doesn't need to rely on notes. There was no moment everyone else which I would need this so much, So there's no judgment.
Every brilliant the brilliance that was on that night, Like I'm not speaking ill of their talent, but they would say something sincere and turn to Kevin Hart and then they'd have to go back to the prompter to like finish what they were, like to get back on track and have to like look down the barrel. Chappelle was just all about Kevin. The whole thing was to Kevin. He wasn't worried about anyone else, even though he's giving a performance that was to the whole room. We all
felt included. It just felt so sincere and down the barrel. And then Chappelle goes off and he's you know, he goes to sit next to Seinfeld and Rock and there's like a song playing because it's during commercial break or
whatever it's you do it. They're doing a change up and the camera's on him and it's like, you know, we're all just like kind of waiting for the next thing to happen, and he's just like dancing and like not even dancing for like to be entertaining, but just like having a good time and not so self aware, and I just I just fucking love him so much. And I know this is gonna sound I'm not even gonna say what I was gonna say, because I want I'm gonna say to you off air and then you
can I can. I'll say it on our next episode of The Diamond Players Club that has being on a paywall, because I don't want to get canceled for what I'm gonna say. But there's something he reminds me of someone so much, and I don't want it to be uh, to come off the wrong way when I say it, so I'll say it too off air, but ken our next interesting episode.
Chase Freedom Commercials. Those are the ones season that I couldn't think of.
Okay, yeah, well he's I'm glad that you said that you had also never seen a Kevin Hort.
Movie of you Jumanji. I would have just said Jumanji instinctually, because I know that he was in Jumanji.
See I forgot that he was in that because did you see Top Five?
That was Chris Rocky movie movie?
See Top Five?
Yeah?
Okay, no, I have seen Kevin Hart movies because you can't miss them.
But I still Chris rock movie, but Kevin Hart's in it.
Yeah, that was a good movie. I actually really really like see that again. All right, Well, we we talked about something that I thought I was never going to talk about again. I literally thought it was the end of my career, and now I'm here I am talking about on my podcast. Thank you guys for listening. We will talk about our weekend of shows tomorrow on the show, because we have. We were in Cincinnati, we were in Gary, Indiana. That was so much fun.
Best what was that I did? Ride along? You did a ride along that this is not recover right along too?
All right, we shall talk about that tomorrow. Thank you for listening, Adobe Ka Bye.