The Nicky Glaser Podcast.
Glaser, here's Nikki.
Hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's Nicky Glazer Podcast. Happy to be here alone in my apartment in Saint Louis. I'm not happy to be alone, but oh maybe I am. Who knows Brian Frangie is here in Los Angeles? Yes, no, it's in Arizona. What's up, guys?
Yeah?
I have had dirty hair since I think the last time I watched my hair was Saturday, and it's now Wednesday. Is it Wednesday or Tuesday? It's Wednesday's typical?
Is that what you're supposed to be doing?
You know, it's atypical for me. That's a really long time for me. I really needed to get one in this morning, and then my apartment did not have hot water, so I took it as a sign. You know, you take things as a sign when there's no other choice, and you go, this is meant to not take a shower today.
To get some dreads. Yeah exactly, Well.
I have to brush through it because it is starting to dread. Give dry shambo, naughty? I did. I got some. I didn't spray it today. I sprayed it like two days ago, and that really SOPs some stuff off, but it's just a tangled mess. I'm obsessed with these new brushes.
I found.
Someone gave it to me in a bag of something like a gift bag, but it's I bought others. It looks like a little egg and it has plastic bristles. And I've always looked for a brush that doesn't rip your hair. I'm obsessed with not ripping my hair. I cannot believe when I watch my friends brush through their hair after it's wet from the shower. They just start at the root and go straight down and push through.
And I'm like, I get it goes through, girls, but you got to start at the ends, at the very ends. Get those good. Then you slowly work up because you are ripping out your hair. And I've seen my friend Catherine does it so violently, and I'm like, treat your hair like fine papyrus that you would find in an ancient tomb. Yeah, Like that's how gentlely you have to be on your hair.
Fine?
What? Yes, it as a As you age, it absolutely thins and it does and it breaks, you know, especially if you treat your hair with heat and paraffins and uh and color it like you have to. I think that's why my hair. I mean, I definitely take Neutral. And I want to tell everyone that neutrafil is legit. They don't are not paid. It's just the thing that I I if I miss one supplement of Neutral, I feel it in my head. It's like, might be psychosomitic.
But it's fucking works. And it's just I just take the four pills a day, don't You don't need to do all the other things.
I mean, I like the serum.
Oh you use the serum. I I don't do that because it's gonna make it so I have to wash my hair.
Oh, I just have to it. It's probably good.
The friends husband invented it, and that's and so we get they we get fit friends and family.
I support, But I feel like I can always ask for a free one.
You literally, I just write to her and I say, can I get some Neutral? And she sends me an entire like, uh shed which is worth? Like I have so much neutrafl. I give it to my I give it to my mom, I give it to Chris, I give it to Tim.
Everyone. I'm not gonna know as saying like sometimes I'll I'll opt not to do prime on Amazon, so I can support Jeff Bezos exactly like I'll pay for the ship in her pocket.
It's not the same.
Like it's also why I buy a new iPhone every three months. It's like, I know that Tim doing the right thing by part yes.
To help billionaires get to that one point one one point two.
You know how to part of something. Let me alone.
You're being a good friend because our friend's husband does own it, and that means that she owns it, and you're being a good friend. But like, it's like when people when my friends pay for tickets to my show and no offense. Everyone listening is my friend. But I can't give away that many tickets. But like I don't have that many friends my life, and when they buy tickets,
it annoys me because I'm like, I get comps. You get like it's part of the deal that I can give this stuff away, and that money you're spending is kind of not really going I'm gonna get that anyway. It's kind of the deal, right. This is not a good way to sell tickets, but I do need people to buy tickets. But it's just when your when your family is like I already bought one. I'm just like,
that's so nice. But if they're billionaires, yeah, buy all the tickets, buy literally all the tickets if you're But if someone is a friend and I know that they don't have all the money in the world, I'm like, no, no, no, don't do that. And that's why I say busties, don't spend your money on a meet and greet. If you just say you can't have four, one, I'll give you one. You know it.
Beautiful brush is so nice. It looks like a brush for a horse.
I was gonna say it looks like a pet brush. Yeah, yeah, that might be it. It's just so soft, bristled, and like I couldn't find any brushes that really do this kind of thing for me where it doesn't rip my hair. But I can kind of just get through it.
Because people listening to the audio you're missing keep brushing her hair with a pet brush.
I think they hear it.
It looks like a brush a doll.
Yes, And this one's like glittery and small, but it's small. It fits in your bag. It looks like a little egg. I don't know what they're called, but like, if you just go to the video and see what I'm looking like type an egg brush or like small circular brush. They come in all different colors. I got so many of them because I wanted to hand them out to my friends, but I lose them a lot, so I just cut them all. But but yeah, it's it's my new favorite product as a woman, and I think I
probably won't go back. I used to get little because I want a little brush to keep in my purse. That doesn't because all the little brushes have so many tongs or they're combs. I would I would rather shave my head off than use a comb. Try to get through my hair with a fucking comb. It would be hell when people are trying to fix my hair on set and they use a comb.
What the hell.
I'm just like, get out of here with that, Like I it won't pull through my hair.
Whoa.
So you know how when you go on Instagram and you go to the search and it just like brings up random videos for some reason. I don't know why I'm being targeted this, but it's these videos. This is going to freak you out of It's like backs of heads getting haircuts, but it's like like snipping like really short towards the skull cap okay, and it's just like cutting hair, Like I don't understand it. I don't know why people do this. It's not selling anything. It's just
cutting hair in this like very violent way. And I'm like, why am I getting targeted this?
But I don't understand what it's targeting you for. On Amazon?
No, No, on Instagram.
On Instagram, oh oh, discover for some reason. I was picturing Amazon for some reason. Oh yeah, they they think you want to see that.
Stuff social media is I think you're sick. I mean, it's just terrible.
It's go searching for warp videos. They don't even know that I want that, and that is what I want.
The things that I going to show this to you.
To give it to her, they won't give it to me. I have to search it out. There's got to be more good, Like if you're just joining the show as a new listener, I like seeing videos. I'm not a pimple popper girl. I don't want to see things explode with gushy like puss coming out. Disgusting. There's something wrong with you if you like that, even though most people do.
I like, definitely not me.
Hardened things being like cut into like a wart being like severed, and then blood coming out in little the dots.
I got a little doctor. You're gonna love mama to see the hoof doctor.
Oh I like that guy, Yeah, because it's dry, there's nothing wet going on like that doctor.
It's a guy who owns a ranch who takes care of horses hoofs, and so the video is just him like, I got a hoof here, and clearly it's got a problem.
And then he hold it in the crook of their hand really like like in the crook of their arm, and the horse kind of has to just be.
Like mow and then it yes.
And then he just like digs into it and gets out all this dirt and stuff and like cleans out their hoof to change it.
It's very satisfying.
Yeah, a coconut or something it's comes off.
Or have you ever scraped plaque off your teeth?
Oh?
No, I've never been. What do you buy a device?
So I just remember going to the doctor once and she was like, you have a lot of plaque behind your lower teeth, like you got to get in there with a brush. And I was like, oh my god. And I always have loved the feeling. And sorry trigger warning if you hate dentist stuff, tailor's not here. But I always liked I like when they scrape on your teeth and pick that stuff off. I can feel it. I like what's going on there. I can never see it though, But then she told me you're because your
plaque builds up. Your gums will recess because it'll keep building and that was what makes recess gums. And then you have like spots for disease to get into your gums and stuff. So she was like, you got to really keep an eye on that, and so I was like, oh, I will, And so like once a month, I just get in there. I'll take like some metal Tweezers and I just go scrape it off, and I just like scrape.
There's it's like you can get that hook thing.
I know. I just never have I just use my I use Tweezers that.
I getting for your birthday.
Gross. Oh that would be amazing to get a dental kit. Okay, write it down, it's mine, that's my present. Oh my god? Thanks?
Do you brush your tongue? Did I talk about this yet? I recently learned that people are supposed to brush their you are supposed to do and I never do, and maybe even the roof of your mouth a little bit, but mostly you brush your tongue and then you can buy this thing called the tongue scraper.
Yeah, like a little you looks at me every day.
Yeah, I mean, so I just learned and I just started scraping my tongue and I feel like, gag. It makes me gag a little bit. My god.
Sometimes you flush your teeth and you get like something comes out and it smells and tastes so fucking bad, and you're like, how is that in my body? Yeah, it's like, you know, you have a joke about it, but I've also like thought about whatever I poop. I'm just like, I can't believe I was carrying that around walking around that it was just in me.
Yeah, no, it's where it's it's.
Remarkable from the outside world.
It's insane that you know, people survived in ancient times because of all this shit that we have to scrape our tongues. Do you think people in ancient times were doing that?
And it's just also it didn't have food that we have.
Oh, you think it's all about the processed food. I think, oh, that's why we have to scrape our tongues. Well, they also died when they were like forty eight.
That's true.
They by the time they were scraping their tongues, they were dead.
Yeah. And but also it's just absurd how much shit we have to do to maintain our fucking bodies. And I know I'm not I'm a man, blah blah blah, but I'm still I'm still a human that I.
Have to do all this stuff.
Yeah, you guys have to get more frequent haircuts. I've always felt bad for you in that way. Yeah, that's that's where waving sympathy ends. No, and the shaving, yes, but we should shave our legs. That's a bigger surface.
But really, this indignity of falling apart. As you get older and all these things start getting worse, you get like more rashes, you know, it's like you get.
I haven't been getting rashes yet. And you know what. The other day, someone I was I found myself lying when I didn't need to someone who I just like didn't really want to talk to, or like, you know, someone was just making polite conversation who I didn't really want to get into it with was complaining about getting older. They're probably my I think they're around my age, forty ish early forties, and they were complaining about how much
their body hurts. Yeah, and like how they're just like, oh, it's just being old. And they just go like it just like, ugh, it sucks and everything hurts or something, and I go, yeah, and I totally don't mean that. Like I my body does not hurt at all. I'm one of the lucky ones. I guess, like, I just don't feel I don't feel age on my body yet in any way. I still, I swear to you, I feel the same maybe not the same energy levels, but in terms of aches and pains on my skeletal system,
same as in my twenties. Hasn't changed yet. And I know that's coming for me, but it hasn't happened yet. But I just gave this person that because I'm like, that's just the story we like to tell ourselves about getting old. That's like, that's what you gotta say. You just gotta be like, I'm getting old, you just like say that. And I was even telling a story yesterday about when I was on Dancing with the stars, and I was like, and I felt so ridiculous. I'm in this,
you know, leotard. I'm thirty five. And at the time, I'm like, you were thirty five and you felt old? Like, well bitch, but I go, I didn't even feel old then, you know what, I just that became part of the story because people just say thirty five is old, and you start to hear people on social media talking about, oh, when I'm in my thirties. Catherine Blamford, one of my
favorite comedians, just did this tonight. She last night, she was talking about being in her thirties versus being in her twenties and she's thirty two and was like, well, I'm thirty two, so I don't do full body shots or whatever, like when I'm digging a picture or something like that. And I'm just like, why is this a
part of And she's hilarious. That was amazing, But uh, and I do this too, But it's like we just adopt this language that like we get old, like we just fall into it, and I don't even believe it. And I gave this guy, yeah, getting older, and then he didn't mean that right, Like he said something he was talking about something else, and so then I started. Then everyone was like, oh, you mean your body is like hurting him? Like yeah, and then I'm like wait, no, wait,
are you lying to agree with you? Like it was just like this, But I go, why did I just give that to him? Because it's just so much easier to say the thing that everyone bitches about, which is like, oh, you get up and you have to make a noise and it perpetuates it. In the morning, I have to stretch because everything's tight. It's like it just doesn't It's I have to embrace this time right now in my life where I don't feel that way.
I know you'll never feel that way. Maybe you know there's there's like people.
The people don't feel pain.
There are like old men in Uha who are carrying water buckets over their head and they're like their backs are all twisted and they're like ninety eight years old, they have no teeth and they're like, I feel no pain. Or there's that story of that guy who played hockey into his nineties and he just kept playing hockey ice skating getting hit and he's like, I don't feel any pain at all, and it's because it's partially it's just
all mental. It's in your head. It totally is like you just have to be like you have to treat yourself like a boomer treats emotions. When it comes to pain, just push him down. If you feel an ache in your elbow, don't focus on it. Just be like that. That's just how it is, and eventually it'll just become part of your norm and it won't bother you.
No, you say, listen, I hear you. I hear you, elbow. You're hurting right now because mentally, I'm going through something tough and you're trying to get my attention about it because I'm not listening to it in my brain. Like if I get a cold, this is what my cold sore talk. If I feel a cold stor coming on, I've done it once before. I made a cold sor disappear. I've talked about it before. Yeah, I just say thank you so much, cold sort you can go. I hear
the message. I'm doing too much. I'm stressed out, I'm not addressing my emotions. I got it. I will definitely work on this. You don't need to show up and it fucking went away. And like if you if you just like think of your aches and pains as like not like what is this going to be a tumor? Is this cancer? If you go to that, like, don't go there. If you can force yourself to just be like, Okay, what is my body trying to tell me right now?
Oh?
I overdid it yesterday at the gym. Oh, I'm back pain is ninety percent of the time. I would probably go up to ninety five percent of the time. Something you're struggling with in your brain. And I know you don't want to hear that because you're your l seven is impacted and your your pinch nerve and your bulging disc and all the things you hear about from the doctor and you can see it on the x ray. Those things are normal abnormalities in a back. They should
not hurt as much as they do. Your back chooses to make them feel a lot of pain because you're rerouting your mental anguish into that nerve. That is a little bit painful, but it shouldn't be the pain that The reason you can't walk is because you need to focus on your anger with your dad. It's not about your pinch nerve unfortunately, And if you want to hear more about it read Healing Back Pain by doctor John Sarno.
I'm even taking it a step further and saying, like, if you have actual physical problems of just the body degrading over a time, even those you can just learn to not bother it. Can it cannot bother you. I've seen people do it. I've seen my dad do it where it's right. He had a broken toe for like two full years and he just was not addressing this toe because he wanted to keep playing volleyball. And he was like, yeah, it's broken, it maybe hurts sometimes, I'm fine,
and he just kept playing. And then eventually he addressed it.
And he was beating his wife during this whole time, so he did get in other places.
He beat her.
You have to find another outlet. But you can't withstand the pain. No, there's a pin.
He would beat her with an egg shape brush that.
Would be actually soothing. This thing is very light. No, the there's a meditation I do in the waking up app called it's like for pain management. You just type in the word pain and you can find it. But I would do it when I got migraines. And he says in that you're just supposed to focus on your pain, and you if you meditate enough and have enough mindfulness, you can separate your thoughts meaning like you know, even your thoughts about pain from yourself, and you won't feel
the pain. And that's why there are monks that can like self emoliate and just sit there like they're on literal fire and they're not threshing around. They're just smiling. You've seen it. He says that there is no like He's like, there's really no bound for if you become mindful enough, what pain you can't endure as a human.
There's really it's it's it's it's boundless. And he's like, I'm not there where I could probably do something like that, like you know, but it is interesting that through our own minds we can figure out a way to circumnavigate pain, which is is good news for people. But that pain meditation helps so much if anyone's in chronic pain, I really recommend the Waking Up app. You can get it for free. Search pain and just do the meditation for pain.
It's it made me so I could fall asleep at night when I had migraines and nothing else helped, So you know, obviously Tyland Hall as soon as they came on would help, but once it was on, Tilan all would not help. And you know what I'm talking about if you get migraines and so that meditation was really good.
What was that, Brian, Well, that's a side note about people who set themselves on fire and protest. There's a guy who did it recently, and haven't we learned by now that that doesn't do anything.
Like it's like throwing soup at the mona Lisa.
Yeah, it's like somebody set themselves on fire. I think the protest Gaza or something recently, and it's like that will not You'll just die and I won't move the needle at all. I personally think any protests like doesn't actually do anything. But like even well, are.
You marching with the writers this summer.
Well that's not a protest, that's a strike. That's withholding what labor. Okay, But like I did occupy Wall Street back in twenty eleven, remember.
That, God, whatever happened with.
That exactly, or with the Women's March or.
Just wanted to camp, that's exactly that when Manhattan just was sick of living in tiny part and you wanted and have your little coleman you know, stovetop.
Well wound up being like a homeless encampment eventually after But that march, all it did was it just wasted our energy, like we could have been using that energy to organize in a more effective way like ins marching.
You're just to sit like the John Lennon yoko ono fuck yeah, oh yeah, lay in.
I guess sometimes it raises awareness, but like, yeah, so now we're all aware of the ninety nine percent or whatever, but nothing changed. Yeah, we all have been better off working at grocery stores putting our paycheck towards anything changed.
All right, Well we'll get into this more, probably not when we get back from this. Stay with us. Yeah, how do you enact change? You know there was a person the other day on this sidewalk that had a uh how do you enact change? Well, the other day I was walking down the street and I saw a man with a clipboard. Everyone's very active in Saint Louis right now. It's spring is sprung, so there's like people
singing on the sidewalk. Like yesterday there was like three girls that were just pressed play on a boombox and We're just like, show it is wing my Way. Show looks good to me. I'm like, you can just do that. What if I just took a fucking little bow speaker out on the street and just sang Taylor Swift next to a bow speaker. Yeah, I could do that and put out a little jar.
But these were little girls.
No, they were like in their twenties.
Oh yeah, so you could do it.
You don't know. If you're a little girl, you don't know. Show it is wing my Way. I guess I could do it. But it was just like wow, Everyone's just like this is That's what you do now? Instead of uber eats is you just put a fucking tin can and you start singing along to a karaokee track of your favorite song. But uh, but I loved it. But there was a guy with a clipboard that said, uh, legalize abortion. Was like, do you want to legalize abortion?
I was walking with two guys and so they were like, no, I don't care, you know, And then I was like, yeah I do, And I go, what is this? You know, because here's the thing I would have usually just walked by, but I'm reading. I just finished reading this book that I recommend everyone read. And it's so funny. When I put it on my Instagram story, so many people wrote to me. I'm probably like three people probably separately said to me, I loved this so much, they should it
should be required reading in high schools. And I was like, that's I don't usually get that feedback a lot on books that I mention, but this one. It's called No My Name. It's by Chanelle Miller, and Chanelle Miller was the rape victim in the brock Turner case, and she is fucking incredible. She's one of the best writers I've ever read. She just so happens to be like she was always going to be a writer. She was always going to be a name you knew because she is
so incredible at writing. But she just so happens to also have been the girl that brock Turner at a frat party. She was blackout drunk and she was found being fingered by him next to a dumpster on the Stanford campus, and luckily to bicyclists saw it happening and he gave chase. They tackled him and he got caught. Otherwise she would have woken up and probably had been actually raped by this guy and not known anything because he would have left her there because he was a
piece of shit. So, but the intimidation she faces from the public when she's just a Jane Doe, the like her whole experience going through this, it's just such a great read about just being a survivor, like going just going through any kind of really hard time in your life when life throws you a curveball. It's like it's just a book about not just like about rape and you know, toxic masculinity on all those things, but it's
just so much more. It's like I just feel like I it opened up a part of me that I did that needed to be opened in terms of like empathy, and although obviously I already had empathy for rape victims, it's just the next level. Like literally everyone needs to read this. It will change the way you think about things. It's not just a book that I'm like it's important. It's important. It's just like it will make you a better person, and it's it is a great read, even
though it's and it's not. It's not as tough of a read as it sounds like based on what I'm saying, It's actually one that you're It's kind of a page turner.
I gotta say, if you're a parent and you name your kid Brock, You're just you're asking for it. I know it is.
Brock Turner. Yeah, overdrive. He no, he that's a name, that's his name. He was a swimmer. It doesn't really matter what he was. All I have to say is that, like he miss, when you're a rape, when you are accused of rape, everyone goes, oh my gosh, this kid's bright future. What what could he have been? This one night he made a mistake. Think of all the things he could have been. And yet for.
Her, I think everyone says that. Not everyone.
Obviously I'm high perbolizing, but like the media, there was a lot of that, not just from his defense team like it was. He was even talked about, like in in the Washington Post as like a swimmer, like a future Olympic swimmer, something like that, Like a year was.
A tragedy of him, but the tragedy that befell him when he tried to rape somebody.
Yes it really was. A girl does not She does not go after him at all in this book. Honestly, she has so much empathy for him. More than I would ever have. And I'm pretty enriched in empathy, and and so this is not just like look at how look at all these people and how they came after me, and look what they said about him, and look at what they said about me. It really like she gives fucking evidence for it, like she like shares articles things
that were written. This is a thing that happens with like rapists that maybe or just it's a date rape thing where it's like they're not a serial rapist. They did it was one night in his life, he was, he made a drunken mistake. Yet her one night, no one, no one ever mentioned about her future and how this threw her off track. It was all about what was she before this? Did she drink a lot?
Well?
How many boyfriends does she have? Why did she get so drunk? Was she looking to cheat on her boyfriend? Was she just calling this rape so that she could cover it up because she had a boyfriend and she didn't want him to know that She got fingered laying in a pile of dead leaves and pine cones and trash next with dumpster like every girl has ever dreamed of. We all love getting fingered by a dumpster, So why did she do this? And it's like it's just this,
it just makes it fires you up. But anyway, part of the book was that she this judge gave him like no, no, no time, like she got fucked over by swimming.
Yeah, and he's not going to be a night a swimmer, a swimmers if he's as ever.
Given a fuck about swimmers until this kid, like who even get Michael Phelps is only swimmer anyway, and Mark Spitz, if you're enough those Katie Lideci, name another swimmer, Summer Sanders, you don't give a fuck about swimming. Who gives a ship? If this guy would have been a good swimmer, you wouldn't have known his name because he's not as good as Michael Phelps and he never will be. You know, it would have been so fun to follow his career. What fucking when have you gone to a swim meet
in your life? Shut up? And this is obviously like twenty men.
And then if he did have the career and then he went to the Olympics, they always do those uh those little those clips before they entered like where their life has been in their tragedies, and they would probably be overcome raping someone and going.
Making just one bad decision changed the course of his life. It's like, yeah, that's what crime is called. I just don't even know why what do we reframing it for. It's like this tragedy and but anyway, in the in the thing she gets people, she writes the statement or like, she writes a statement to read to the judge during his sentencing. The statement gets picked up by BuzzFeed, goes completely viral. Hillary Clinton quotes it after she loses the election.
She's like, I called I read this her statement again to remind myself, like that I'm you know that I'm not alone because this girl, like this girl's stay and she was a Jane Doe at the time. This is before she came out with her name, and you know, it just goes extremely viral on BuzzFeed. And then the judge gives like a very lenient sentencing and he says
all these really inappropriate things during it. He's having so much compassion for Brock and his poor family, and he just barely lets her get out her statement of the.
Olympic girls who were assaulted by Oh.
Yeah, she talks about them. Oh my god, she found so much strength from them because while she was a Jane Doe and waiting to see if it was either she was waiting for her trial or she was waiting to see if he was gonna appeal it. She watched that trial and talks a lot about all those women and how much strength they gave her because they were just standing and looking at him dead in the eye. And she's talked about that judge and how that judge was the opposite of her judge. Her judge was like
rushing her through her statement. That judge let one hundred and thirty nine women read their statements to him over the course of many days, one hundred and thirty nine. Can you believe that that is he gave that he or she gave those girls space to to have every victim heard. It was such an incredible thing to do. And she said, you know, that's a really good judge. So anyway, the people were so upset about this ruling,
she had nothing to do with it. They took it upon themselves to get this persky guy thrown the fuck out. But what they needed first was signatures. And I don't know, I've always thought about signatures as like, do they really fucking mean anything. It's just like my dumb signature. And really, am I gonna end up on some list And now I'm gonna get some messages from Amy Klobashaw every day
for the rest of my life. And even though I keep saying stop, stop, stop, and then they have to tell you you, oh, you unsubscribe, I'm like when I say stop, I don't need reassurance said it's unsubscribed. Just end it. Don't tell me you unsubscribe me no more.
Amy Klobs' just assured we have stopped send you have we have received your stop message.
We're so sad. We'll see you go.
I know, give me a FU or what about the survey? Please tell us why you've decided to stop receiving our emails. And then they give you five options.
And you have to read all that shit to just find other I hate this product and I never used it and I don't know how I got signed up for it in the first place.
I ever signed up for it in the first place. It's almost always the answer.
Yes, that is always so. Anyway, when this abortion guy yeah said hey do you want to sign I go, yeah, I'm signing because I learned she just taught me how these one hundred and ninety eight thousand signatures got this judge to be overthrown, and how it really did matter, and how all these people were out with clipboards in the sun and they were just doing something they believed in. So I went up to the guy and I go, so, is this this isn't some like trick thing where it's
like I think I'm signing a thing about legalizing abortion. Yeah, it's actually the opposite. And he goes, no, no, no, read the fine print, and I go, I know how these motherfuckers do what they do, like, so I read the fine pray it actually was, so I signed it, and I go, oh, wait a second, Is this a list Trump is going to look at when he decides
to have public hangings? Is this the list? And he and he laughed, and he goes, oh, well, there's uh, you know, seventy two thousand signatures so far, so he'd have to do a lot. And I go, oh, he'd do that many. Yeah, he'd he'd be like that that second judge and go through every single one of them. I'm like, is this the list? But he's going to refer to Okay, you know what I don't even want to live in that world anywhere. Hang me in public for signing for saying that I want abortion legalized, I
don't care. But yeah, it does get you on a list. But I think I just want to remind people that those people out there with clipboards, they're not all uh you know, it's not it's not nefarious all the time. Sometimes it is really always most important.
Well sometimes they're volunteers, but sometimes they get paid, So I like.
Because yeah, just hiring people to do it, and right, yeah, and.
Then and then you just look into the non profit and you see if you agree with what they're pushing.
I've been a guy. I've been a signature getter guy before. Oh yeah, yeah, to try to shut down the oil field and Culver City, which has happened, I collected signatures and it's uh, you go, well, it was easy for me because I'm in Culver City. I'm a resident of Culver City, and I'm.
Going to.
Yeah, I'm wearing the Culver Hooters cap. It's as actually a Shaky's They ever been to a Shaky's No, yes, no, because you just go, hey, uh, trying to get the oil field shut down, you kind of like relate to them on the fact, like do you know there's an oil field right there? And they go what and they're like they're like wheeling their baby through the park, like
right next to an oil field. It's like, yeah, there's an oil field over there with active oil wells that are releasing methane gas every day and it's seeping into your water. Do you want to sign this to stop that?
And then yeah, for you, yeah, I just I don't think I've ever done anything like that. But were you getting paid to do it?
Fifty thousand dollars an hour? Yeah, pretty good. I was actually the oil company was paying me. And then I would take the list and we would hang the well.
This is the thing with those abortion you know, those clinics that are like, are you pregnant? You hear about the radio? Call us? Are you pregnant and scared? Call us, We'll give you counseling you. If I was a pregnant teen, I'd be like, oh my god, I don't great. I don't have to tell my parents I want to get an abortion. This bitch will like help me figure out a way to do that, you know, like I don't want to have this kid I'm scared. You know, they're
praying on my like are you scared? Why would you be scared about a baby if you wanted it. So they're literally reaching out to girls who want to terminate pregnancies kind of is what their their messaging is. And then you go there and it's a fucking Christian organization that then talks you into having the baby and scares you and makes you feel guilty for even considering wanting
to keep it. They like make you listen to its heartbeat, they make you name it, they make you start picking out colors for its nursery, like they they don't go, don't those places are fucking bad. Yeah, they make your name it brock, But I think John Oliver did a whole piece on those places. But they're everywhere, They're everywhere,
and they owe it. But you see the signs for it, and it's so deceitful because if I were just if I were a girl whose parents didn't and didn't have a family that would support my decision to terminated pregnancy, I would have one hundred percent called one of those numbers. Because it looks like they are reaching out a helping hand to help you figure out how to keep the life that you want, and they're.
Not like the time in Times Square people barking people to go to a comedy show.
Oh, and promising that George Carlin will be there even though he died eight years ago.
Yes, and then you go there and they're just like, uh, and it's just like a bunch of people who probably should have been aboarded.
Yeah, it's uh. That would happen all the time. And sometimes they would say my like someone would message me and said they were supposed to be at the show and I'm like, I don't know why they're using my name. But or they'd say a live comedy taping. I'm like, there's not a live comedy be taping tonight. And that really does real people in they want to be on TV. Yeah, yeah,
I've but there's scams all over now. There's a scam I heard about where they'll call you from your bank and it will be the number of your banks customer service number. So if you google it while you're on the phone being like is this a scam? The number will come up, as you know, that's Bank of America's number. So just if your bank calls you hang up and call them back and check on whatever they were just checking on that. I think that's just a good rule,
no matter who. Just if there's a fraud alert, be like, yeah, I'm gonna call you back and check this, like you you start it because it's just too shady.
Man.
Yeah, your phone anyway, for like an eight hundred number.
I can't even imagine doing that. I can't imagine it. I don't think the one time I did it, they're asking me to do the Tonight Show. The one time I had the impulse to go it's a private number, maybe I should answer it. It was it was the Tonight Show calling to be like we had to fall out, and I was in two thousand and nine. I wasn't answering two thousand yea January two thousand and nine. I was not answering my phone back then, even because I
was getting solicteners. But now I would. I would never do it. Yeah, I mean it's it really is weird when someone calls you, it's it totally means something really terrible. Now I actually do pick up when my friends call me because at one hundred percent means something's really wrong. Right.
Well, I used to think that, and now I would tell that to people, and now I get more phone calls from people who are just like just calling the chat and now I'm like no longer feeling that anxiety when I get a phone call.
I love a voice memo. I just say, voice memo me, if you really want to communicate this in a shorter way than typing it, because then my phone's going to type it up for me because the new update, they just transcribe it, so I don't.
Well, it's not really to say something short, it's to have a long conversation about what I used to do. Yeah, I just I do.
I talked on the phone last night for a while to my friend and that was really like, we probably went an hour and twenty seven minutes. I was like, man, the stupid podcast. That's all I like. I think about my wife in term of podcasting time. No, it feels so good to talk on the phone. It's something we probably should do more of and night not isolate ourselves. But we're also fucking lonely. Yeah, people are like so lonely out there. I was talking about it the other day.
I was doing this shoot and me and my makeup artists we're talking about how lonely people are. And this guy was in the room kind of just like filming b roll footage and we weren't even talking to him because he was just filming and not supposed to be a part of the conversation. And he was like, I was, I have a family and during COVID I was lonely.
Wow.
We were just like whoh man. He's like, I have a full family that I was living with And in the middle of the night I couldn't wake up my wife to talk and I just had no one to call, and I'm like, fuck, dude. Yeah, we'll need community. People need places to go, people need friends, people need girls chats. You have boys chat.
I have boys chat. Yeah. I mean no, I always say it, like it. People are seeking out community now more than ever. You can go on like Reddit, I guess, and then get feel worse.
But no, there's some good areas in reddit.
There's some good areas in reddit. If you're having a real problem. If you're having like a real problem, going on Reddit has been helpful for me.
If you're having are you serious, like you've shared about a problem on Reddit?
Yeah, like an emotional problem, like for example, like now I'm on like the TMJ reddit and I'm posting like my experiences with and like the people on there like are like supportive and want to help, and yes, give advice, and it's it's really nice to talk to some people who have gone through the same thing that you're going through.
If you have a planner's word, go to the warts subreddit. Yeah, and half of us will just ask you to stick a rusty nail in it and shave it off with just cuticle clippers that you haven't cleaned. But some people there will offer you actual advice. But there are sickos in there that just want you to be We want you to like document your pain. It's like half people that are like, oh, rip that thing out, just pull
it out. People always go rusty plyers, rusty pliers. And then other people are like, you can use apple cider vinegar every night, shave it down to bride it. Then you can use the Swift treatment. Like there's actual treatments, but then there's sickos, but yeah, there's there's even I
follow the subreddit Depression. There are constantly people on there that are like, I'm killing myself tomorrow, and then I constantly see them get talked out of it because all these people come to the rescue and are like, call me right now. You think no one cares about you, I care about you. I'll literally talk to you right now. And it's just so beautiful.
Yeah, there's something. It's like one it's like these little beautiful corner of the Internet that's like the opposite.
People are really nice.
I know. That's why, fuck man, the Internet is such a fucked up place because there's so much hate and there's so many people just ripping people down. But then there's this like little three percent of the Internet where there are these like little nice communities where actually people help each other. But most of it is just pure like vitriol, racism, and hatred.
I know.
But is that so it's like, what's natural? Is it that there's more people who are compassionate and empathetic, but we just can't find them because the algorithm pushes the other stuff up, so they could pollute.
Our minds with all this negative shit.
I think that there's we're all both and the side of us that is like mean and cruel and vindictive is winning out because we're so isolated and because we're all addicted to our phones, and we don't have communities, so we all have it in us to be both.
I think, well the number one thing I think and that.
Society is driving us towards the bad.
You have the ability to be anonymous also, and when you can be anonymous, you can be a huge piece of shit.
It's been talked about ad nauseum about like when you can be like the difference between being anonymous and not like it's David Spade used to tell me that the only way celebrities would ever get taken down back in the nineties was literally when he would do that weekend update segment called Showbiz Showdown. That was the only time celebrities heard actual joking, mean sometimes mean feedback about what
they were doing. You know, when he said, like I went and saw the bodyguard this weekend and I want my money back, like that kind of thing. He got in so much trouble with. There's still celebrities to this day that don't talk to David's Maade because of his nineties segment because there was no can you imagine nowhere else?
Sometimes maybe it was Joan Rivers on like a red carpet show that was maybe in the early two thousands that started to get mean about celebrities, and then it was US Weekly and it would be that backpage that would make fun of their outfits, and comedians would make fun. But there was not constant comments from anyone talking about
anything they want all the time. And now with YouTube comments, they they they're on a scroll, so like if you don't even want to make comments, you have to read them, and they keep serving up new ones, and I'm like, I don't want anyone's fuck, I hate it. I don't want any I want to go search comments if I want to stop giving me unsolicited comments from people that I don't need that are just uh, that's true, manipulating
how I perceived this thing. I used to like it, and now I don't because this fucking asshole who I don't even know who he is. And then I met I talked to someone recently who got so much criticism of about someone. I wish I've remembered what it was. It could have been something I was watching. And then someone goes, how many people have said this to your face?
And it's like, this was like a megastar. I forget who I think it was something I watched it on and they go, so, how many people have said this to your face? And they're really struggling with how much backlash there was about this performance or whatever they did, and they go, no one, literally no one. Can you imagine that celebrity in the nineties would have had none
of the negative feedback that they got. Yeah, none, maybe a review and your times if you were lucky, the fan mail, but you would have to write, like it was still hard to get a letter written you be happy in the nineties.
Someone just trying to write You're a fucking loser and write that in a letter.
And they would those people would kill you. It would be the easiest way to find the people that were gonna kill you, you know, amongst all of the comments that you get, because somewhere in there someone would kill you and it's hard to find which But that was that's.
Such a funny if people have if people have to write their letters, I just don't find women funny. And then they go.
To the the whole time.
I mean, then if they went through that much trouble.
The effort, cameltoe t o W, you're like, you couldn't even okay, thanks, Yeah, it's it's it's just we should not have all these opinions, and not only me as like a celebrity or whatever. Shouldn't have these opinions. You and me as a consumer should not have everyone's opinions about everything we fucking consume. Except I'm just ken is the best thing ever?
Just don't have to comment on positive.
My new thing is like I do not. I am trying my damn this. I'll tell you after the break. Wait, oh, Brian has to go. Okay, Brian, where you're gonna miss what I'm gonna tell you? But it doesn't matter. You'll hear it later. Brian has to go, where are you going a meeting or something?
Yeah?
Oh cool? All right, I can't tell us what happens with that oil rig? All right, thanks Brian. Later, all right, we're back. Okay. This new thing I'm doing is I am trying to be zero negativity online anymore.
Okay, I'm trying to be zero negativity in general.
Okay, let's share. Let's share what we've been doing, Like, what's something, What's something that you found yourself going like I would have done it? And then I just stopped myself. Have you done it?
Well?
So for me, it's more about like negative self talk and just like reframing how I would say something about myself or that I want or.
Like I look forward to or something.
Like that, instead of I have to go do this again, like instead.
Of I need, there's no need, there's I would enjoy having that or something like that, or I'm going to work.
I would enjoy food, shelter and water and air.
But yeah, so mine is more like it's actually what you were talking about earlier about like those monks who don't feel pain. I'm trying to do gentle birthing, which is like a form of natural birth, just gonna try. I don't know how it works, but I'm putting any expectations.
I asked my mom yesterday she had us both naturally.
Oh okay, great, I'll text her and ask her.
You really should. I don't know how she did it. Well, it's incredible.
From what I'm reading this, it's like it's like labor and childbirth and all that, like the whole thing about it being painful and like a terrible experience and you're just kind of like wrung out at the end. That's all that was awful, Like the thirteen hundreds shuttled in by priests to punish women, where before that women were celebrated, it involved community. It was you know like you just kind of squat down, pull the baby out, and that's it.
Like it's not your body is doesn't it could be painless?
Just crazy. Well, I think you're so right, Like we just go along with whatever society is kind of telling us what that experience is. Oh you're turning forty okay, well back pain starts. It's just like these this mean culture of like what what we are, how we should experience life. We just fall in line with in so many ways.
Well that's what I'm saying, Like good us taking that in and then speaking it out loud is perpetuating it. We can Yeah, like I really believe that we can change that.
I do too. I had to, I like flew in my music producer this week to write a song because I just want to work on writing an album. Maybe we wrote a song before together so easily, so I didn't. But I didn't write a song prior to this. Like last time I brought in a song and then he helped me shape it. But this time I just didn't get around to writing the song. But the night I gave myself. On Monday night, I was like, I have to write the song was starting yesterday morning, Tuesday, and
Monday night. I was just like couldn't bring myself to do it. So I just started being like, I can't believe we wrote like the greatest song. Like I kept doing that thing of like can't believe I'm writing the greatest song I will ever write this week, Like I can't believe. This song just flow out of me so naturally and helped me deal with like what I was actually experiencing life. Like I just started talking about what the song would bring me like, and and it's yesterday.
He got here and we kind of worked on something. He had like brought an idea, and so we were like writing to track. I guess is what it's called. Like he came in with a track and then we were writing to that, and I started with the like concept. I was really struggling with it because like, I am going through feelings that I'm not ready to like share publicly yet. I guess is my point, Like I would,
I would kind of compare it. It's not the same thing, but I think Taylor Swift get Ready for Swift Corner, She released Midnights in October of twenty twenty two, and then she and Joe broke up in the spring of twenty twenty three. But when she released Midnights, there's like lots of love songs on there. And I've talked about this before, but Midnights has always even when it came out, it was a breakup album. To me, I was like, this is about ultimately, this is about a relationship that
is not doing well. But she couldn't say that explicitly. It's all like when you when you now look at it through the lens of oh my god, the relationship is falling apart during this you see it so clearly. But she wasn't free to do that because you was still in the relationship. So here's the things I want to talk about. I can't because I'm it's I'm still struggling with them, like the career decisions that I'm wanting to write about.
But by the time it comes out, because it takes a little bit of time to produce an album and to master the tracks and all of that. Just think about you in the future and how you'll feel probably a lot better.
I have to write metaphorically, and you have to go. Oh, like, even if they the people that I don't want to hear this hear this, they won't think it's about them.
Yeah, well, I mean, doesn't that kind of relate to right comedy and performing stuff on stage?
Yeah? With commed it totally does comedy, though it's not as emotional, and it can be and comedy. I feel safe. I can say whatever I want because at live shows, none of the people that I'm talking about are ever there, and no one's recording because you can't record stuff there. So it's not going to live anywhere until I decide it's ready to live somewhere, and by the time I take my next special, this issue will be resolved that
I'm working on stage. So my live shows really are a place where I feel the most free to express myself and I don't struggle with this thing. And it's kind of weird because when you're struggling, I got If I could ask Taylor Swift anything today, I would ask her, how weird is it when you have written like a very vulnerable song that is so emotional and you have to present it to like your guy friends and it's like filled with girl feelings, you know, and like you like,
is that how does that feel? And I guess I could ask any female musician that, like, or any musician really just like what does it feel like to write a let's say, a breakup song if you're going through like really woe is me? Like really sappy feelings? And then you're like this, like cool guy.
I mean if they're if they're music, I mean, Anya would be a great person to ask, but they probably enjoy letting that out and just kidding.
Yeah, you're right. He can ask her. She literally is a phone call away. But would she pick up, Yes,
she would. Yeah, you're right, it's it's probably they probably like it, and and and the thing is, I've just that was something that was really scary for me to do in starting to write music, was like, Okay, I'm gonna share this with like actual musicians who've been doing this for twenty years, Like are they gonna be like, yeah, that's a good idea, Like the way sometimes when people tell me to here's a joke idea, and I'm like, oh, boy, Like, but these guys I'm paying them to like actually treat
this like a real thing, Like if someone brought me a joke. Some of the joke ideas I've been brought that are so bad. I couldn't You couldn't pay me to lie to them and say it's good. So I'm like, are these guys going are they being?
Now You're making it negative because you're saying, oh, they only want to work with shit because I'm paying them.
This is only Well.
I've sent several times to them, and he's like, no, I said, oh.
They could turn you down and say, actually I can't, like, I only take your Donna.
Well, you know my friend Dan Monahan, who's from the band The Dog and Everything. He and he writes with the Plain White Tea's he's my guy and we have become such good friends that I flew him in this week and yesterday I was like, who's not as soon as Tim are? Like Tim Convey, my boyfriend's brother is like kind of the task master of the group and like really wants to move things along and like, you know,
he's just a musician producer vibe. Yeah, he's a musician as well, but he also has a baby and a family and a house far away. So I flew Dan in from Chicago to come write with me, and he's staying at the hotel next to my apartment. So him and I like didn't have a talk about what this week was. Even I was just like, hey, I want to write another song. Come down. This was a few weeks ago. So he's here and we meet up yesterday and I said him a few songs of like things
I wanted to it to sound like. And we said down yesterday and go, I just want to tell you I did not write a song because last time I wrote a song and I had something for us to work on, and I was like, I got nothing. I got a couple ideas in my phone, a couple of lines, and he's like, it's fine, dude, it's fine. Starts so that, yeah, I didn't and I don't know this. So I was
just like felt guilty. But then I was like, oh wait, even if I do nothing, I'm gonna pay this person and I'll feel okay about it because they I won't have wasted his time. My fear is that I'm wasting his time. He could be off writing and producing with someone else that would actually you know, they produce something, and and I might night this week, like I thought i'd be in the mood to write a.
Song this week you could also not You could also see it as like this is this guy's profession and he probably gets a lot of joy and you know he does self worth or you know, like just like like he's amazing, purposeful helping people get from Oh I came here with nothing to a fully produced.
And that is so true about him. He does love it. And he told me, I go, this is like a passion project for me. I really don't have a deadline. I'm not like super like we gotta get this done, so it's it's it might be like a gradual process. And I was like, so if you ever just so you know, that's kind of how I'm approaching it. And I'll always pay you for your time. Like if we don't write anything, don't think of that that's like a failure unless you want to and then you don't have
to show up, like it's totally up to you. And he was like, this is a passion project for me too, like I and he was like, I just like hanging out. So yesterday as soon as Tim left to go like take care of his family, he was like, Okay, so you guys are gonna work on this. We're gonna get the bridge we're gonna do this final thought, tim Confy's like, you're gonna get this, You're gonna work on the bridge, You're gonna finish up that thought. I think maybe we
should take the lyrics in the destruction. He like gives us all these prompts and then he leaves, and then Dan I was like, can I play you a couple of songs that I liked listening to. I'm like, now I'm like trying to get him into Taylor Swift. And then I was like, wait, can wait? Can you tease me how to play this on the guitar. So now we are like Nicky Glazer has gotten the thing off
track as I do like. He's like he said something yesterday about like, yeah, if I really wanna work on a song, I'll work with this person who like will keep me on track. And I'm like, and if you want to eat skinny pop all day and hang out on my balcony and talk about life, you'll work with Nicki Glazer because I will. I love not doing work. I love finding other things to like waste our time. So we watched Seinfeld, we jammed out to Taylor Swift, we sang karaoke, We we just did, and by the
end of the day, I was like. Tim wrote back and was like, so, how's it going. I'm like, we literally haven't done anything for the song since you left. And he was like, okay, but I think we have a hit on our hands, and I'm like, you're right, we do. We have not taken even a single step in that direction. But we just had a good bonding day and we are closer than ever and that's what this day was about. So it ended up being such
a great day. He left at like ten o'clock and was like, I think this was one of the best days of my life. And I was like, dude, this is the life, Like beautiful spring day in Saint Louis, walking around getting Starbucks, getting takeout, talking about life, sharing like as friends. It was just so fun and like just playing and singing music. So today we got to buckle down and write and I am looking forward to it because I think I have an actual promise for
the for the song. But oh so, what I've been doing though on Instagram, like I've been wanting Usually if I see something on Instagram, I want to make fun of. It's the way someone's dressed, the way someone looks something they've done to their face that I want to go, what does she do to her a face? Or like when an Innette, I just shoot it off to Anya and we make fun of it in our DMS like it is. That's just what I do. That's what I've
always done. If I want to make fun of someone, if I want to go, I just I love making fun of people behind their backs on Instagram. It's one of my favorite things to do with my personal friends, my close friends who I trust, who will not like that would never get out. I always double check that I'm not sending the post of the person to the person.
Oh you know, yes.
But then yesterday I was about to send one off and I was like, why, why, right? Could would you say this to their face?
Nikki?
No, never would And if this actually excellently you did send it to them instead of her, well, how would that affect your life so fucking negatively? And also do you want people doing this about you? One percent?
No?
So I just didn't send it. And you know what, I don't even remember what it was. It was not important. I didn't you need to send off that negative, judgmental bullshit that I usually send off, and will it ruin my relationships with certain people? Sure, because like drinking, when you stop drinking, yep, you fall away from the people used to drink with. And people go, I don't want to lose those friends. You won't want them because you'll
realize all that was keeping you together was drinking. So if I have, if Anya and I have so much more of a friendship than talking shit about celebrities, so that that I know can slip away without me losing anything that we have. And also I was talking shit about to Dan, my producer. I was telling some story. No, no, no, this was the other night. I was talking to a friend about a comedian who just had had a like a scam last week, and oh, I was asking Brian,
I go, do you hear about blah blah blah? And he goes no, And I was like, oh so, and I go, actually, if you haven't heard about it, let's pretend it didn't happen. Like, actually, I don't even think the thing was true because the person is like suing for defamation, So like, I'm gonna support this person and not spread it more. Even though it sounded so juicy the way, I was like, oh my God, did you hear about it? And he was like, wait what I go. I'm sad, I'm even put that out there. I am not,
I'm not. I don't want to talk shit anymore. I really my friend Rick Lastman, I talked to him recently and I hung out with him for an extended amount of time, and he's just like, doesn't talk shit about people.
Gossip It's really sick and you know.
Something annoying at first, but it's He's right.
It's kind of like what you said about sobriety because when I was consciously trying to stop gossiping in like at like a work environment, because I realized at the end of gossip session this like gossip circle, everyone feels frustrated, everyone feels demoralized, and nothing is changing.
So when you feel alive, I know, but I feel connected with people, it's fake intimacy.
It's fake intimacy.
But you'll see that when you start to pull away from that, you really will lose people, Like they'll get annoyed with you, because misery loves company.
Oh, I've been around people who won't talk shit Glassman. I mean I tried to talk shit around him about someone I think and he just didn't pick it up, and I knew, I know he's able to pick this.
Did it irritate you?
No, it really was like it it made me. I think there was a little bit of shame that I felt at first because I felt like he was then judging me for being that way. So I maybe internalize some shame there that he wasn't even meaning to bestow onto me. But then at one point we got to talking, I think hours later after we were hanging out, and he's just said something about like, I don't really gossip, and I was like, well, you know, I don't like to talk bad about people that I wouldn't say to
their face. And I said that like that, and he goes, but you're not saying it to their face. Even if you say, but I would say this to their face, well then call them up first and say it to their face, and then say it to your friend if you really would, Like the truth is when I say i'd and i'd say this to her face, I don't mean that ninety nine percent of the time. And he was right. And so it's like I do find really excitement, a lot of excitement and secrets. But here's the thing.
Is like, I share all of my secrets. So if we just became more honest with ourselves, we wouldn't have to be talking shit because talking shit comes from a place of like can you believe she did this? And it comes from like wanting to shame other people. But if everyone was just what was that?
Or self hatred?
Yeah?
I mean pretty much every time that I'm judging anyone for anything, it's always about my own insecurity. I don't care. If something it doesn't have anything to do with me, and it looks bad, I'm like, I don't care. But if something looks bad, then I'm like, oh, I might do that to my face? I'm like, what did she do it? Like cat, It's just there's I love. I
love what I catch myself about to be negative. I might I like, I stop downvoting things on Reddit or up voting negative comments if someone like used to talk shit about someone that I didn't like. I would never write a negative comment about a comedian I didn't like. But if someone said a comment that I was like, yeah, this person fucking gets that they're a charlatan, I would like upvote it. I don't even do that anymore. I
won't even support negative comments anymore. I'm really this is like me in the past month, I've weeded it out of my system. Talking about it feels good because it'll make me do it even even more.
So.
You're not sending posts to your friend to be like, oh my god, look at that. You're not down voting or up things in up voting, negative comments, anything else.
I saw a guy at the airport writing a comment on an Instagram post. Have you ever witnessed someone writing a comments. It's such a weird thing to see because you don't even attach a person to these things. And so to see him writing a comment. I saw him look at a picture. Then I saw him go to the bubble and then start writing a comment on Instagram, a big paragraph, and men, did I want to see what he was writing because I was just I was dying to go find the comment and go I just
watched him write this. This is like, she's a disgusting guy sitting at start like causing more hate. I wouldn't have done that, but I would have been like, I saw you write this, I caught you gate thirty seven cy Like. It would have just been so funny to be like I just saw you do this and be this. And actually I wouldn't have been anonymouscause I would have written it from mine. But it just seeing someone write
a comment is so vulnerable. You're just like, ew, why are you wasting your time typing a sentence to strangers? No one cares what you think. Keep this inside unless it's positive, unless it's like slag girl, you look amazing. Oh my god, I can't wait to see this. Whatever, just don't do it. Just challenge yourself today to not text or write or vote anything negative. See what happens. Because you won't, you won't have this longing for it.
I always do this with like things i'm buying. If I'm like, if I'm going on a shopping online and I'm feeling a little bit manic, I'll add a bunch of stuff to my cart and I go, you can check this cart out tomorrow if you're still thinking about these things. And I never am. Ever, the next day I can't even remember one. Maybe once or twice I've been like, no, I do really want that bag or
that suitcase or whatever. And sometimes I'll go through my Poshmark likes and I'm like, oh, she offered me, you know ten percent off. Let me you know what I actually do want this I forgot like, but just add things to cart before you press go. My voice teacher has a thing written on his wall in his room, and I wish I could remember the exact phrasing. But it's like engaged brain before opening mouth. And that's for singing, Like think about what you're about to sing before you
just sing it. Think about what you're about to speak before you speak it. When I did not have a voice for those three weeks when I was having vocal cord surgery, the biggest lesson I learned was that in order for me to communicate, I had to think the thought. Then I had to go to my phone and type in right, and then I had to hold it up. There were I would say half of the time I would just start typing and go, this isn't worth like
whatever it is. But I would not have even had that moment because it would have just flown out of my mouth. There would be no thought. So so much of what we say, including this most of this podcast, is just there's no plan for it. It just flies out of your mouth. And like, I just want to take more of a beat in life and go like, is this really what I want to say?
Good for you?
Is this really what I want to do? And it's like you feel very in control when you're able to catch those moments before they happen, and you're like, am I fucking gandhi because I didn't just send this picture of this girl and I'm where I'm questioning if she's pregnant or not or whatever it is. I'm ready to talk shit or speculate on that's not on my fucking business. Yeah,
it feels really good. It feels really good to just only be sending pictures of Emily Blunt at the Oscars and saying, this is the most gorgeous human being I've ever seen in my life, and I don't understand it. I am Her look at the Oscars is my favorite look I think of all time of Anyone's the glow, the hair, the dress that has the elevated Did you see these straps They're like elevated. This new thing is like the strap comes off the shoulder like a plastic
bag that's been like picked up. You know, Yes, it's so cool. I love it. God, I loved her look so much. We didn't even talk about Oscar Margot Robbie. I loved her look for the Oscars because it was like a dark purple brown blackish dress, which is her first time not wearing Barbiecore in like a year and a half, like she's always dressed in Barbiecore something Barbie. I loved Ariana Grande's. I loved Florence Pugh. She also had the elevated strap look, and I think that was
all my like real favorites. But that fucking Emily Blunt look. I can't stop thinking about it. I want that dewey skin. I'm gonna figure out, Like that's the plastic surgeon. I want whoever she has, Like that's the name I have to get, and I don't know how to get it, but I shan't have any work done until I find that person.
Pretty sure. A part of it was the makeup that she was wearing.
Absolutely, oh my god, make up springe a difference when these people fucking know what they're doing, because I think I know what I'm doing, and when I do a makeup it's disgusting, Like actually, I'm trying my best. It's really good when I do my bakeup, but it's Fantastic'm trying to say positive. It's fantastic. When makeup with actual artists professional, it's like someone you know, it's like me drawing a picture of a like mountain range versus Bob
Ross doing it or whatever. You know what I mean, Like I think I can oh these are mountains, and you can go, oh, yeah they are. But like I'm not makeup. We don't think of it like that is like such an art that has such a learning curve. But yeah, so we covered a lot today. Brian's on here, but we have shows this weekend. Oh god do we have shows Grand Rapids and Columbus, And then next week
we have Cincinnati and Gary, Indiana. And then I just announced a bunch of tour dates over the summer that just went on presale and you can get them now on pre sale using code good. They go on actual sale on Friday, but they're on presale right now. You use code good and just go find it out my website. I'm going to Boulder, I'm going to Cleveland, I'm going to God, what are the other cities? They're all like Charlotte.
And you also have Vegas with David Spide When is that you have one in May? May seventeen, Oh my God, May seventeenth with David's Made in Vegas.
The please go to that. That'll be oh my god. At the Venetian. There's such amazing shows. If you want to plan like a girls tripper, boys trip to Vegas, or just a trip alone, it's worth it to go see that show. But h yes, Boulder, Salt Lake City, Cleveland, Indianapolis, and Charlotte all on sale. These are June and July dates this summer. Have your first summer plans started now by getting tickets and you can get special ticket prices
right now on the pre sale. But tomorrow on Friday, they do go on sale for everyone and you'll get regular prices. But right now you can use code good and get on presale prices for these summer day days Thursday. Technically right, That's what I'm saying. So today you have today today until tomorrow that they go on sale at ten am and they go switch to the regular price. But right now, get it now, get it now, use code good. Okay, thank you guys, I will see you
at those shows see this weekend, busties. Thank you for listening to the show this week. Thank you, Noah, thank you Brian, Dolbeka and Bye