The Nicki Gliser Podcast.
Glaser.
Here's Nicky. Hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's nick Glazer Podcast. I'm Nicki Glazer. I'm here in Saint Louis. Brian Frangie is in Los Angeles. Noah is in Arizona.
Yep.
Also city in Arizona. Noah.
Uh yeah.
I just want to like, I just want to know because you Noah just said she had an embarrassing story this weekend, and I don't want to, like, wait right off so that I'm sorry, Okay, we don't have to use it. I'll tell an embarrassing story first, Okay, Okay, Well, this weekend I went to the Grammy part Steven Tyler's Grammy's Party, a fundraiser for Janie's Fund, which Chris uh was singing all night. Jane's got a fund, which I thought, I'm like, did anyone not put that together? Yet? I
auctioned off, so that part of it was so. Janie's Fund is like a charity that gives money to whim to support women who are coming out of foster care. They're aging out of the system and then they're just
put out there and like the statistics are crazy. It was like seventy one percent of women that age like from foster care end up getting pregnant before they're twenty one, seventy one percent or something like that, and it was like, you know, and then high percentages of going to prison and being an abusive relationships and not yeah, not being able to get Taylor Swift tickets, just just horrible things. And no, it was it was just like devastating statistics.
And so they raised money to give them guns.
Yeah, yeah, they raise money for new face tattoos. No face tattoo removal would actually be part of the thing, but yeah, a lot of these you know, it's this is the thing is like I was on the red carpet right before the event. And I always do this where I like sign up for a charity event or like say yes to it, and then I don't know about the charity and then I get there and I like don't remember that that's what they're we're there for. But this one I actually did know a little bit about.
But on the red carpet, they're asking like, why is this so important tonight? And I'm like, can I be honest, I'm here because I got invited. I it doesn't really. I'm glad that it's for a charity, but like I just wanted to go to a cool event. I didn't. I don't, I did. I did say I love a charity, and it makes me feel better that I spent all this money and put on all this effort to go
towards something that I could like. And I auctioned off an item, so it was like, you know, I hopefully earned more money for them, but I'll get to that in a second. I actually don't think I did. But let's be honest, like it's it is really nice to Steven. No one asked Steven Tyler to do this fund, you know what I mean, Like he's done. I don't think he's doing it for tax purposes, like he's I think he's genuinely like a good person who actually cares. But
I would have been there either way. I would have and I like to give back, but it's it's it's hard for me to put that on of like oh yeah, that this is this is why I'm here tonight. It's like, no, I'm here because I want to get a picture on a red carpet and seem like I'm interesting and and I've got stuff going on.
You made page six Best Dressed Party like I did. Yeah, you made it last year.
Wow, Hey I made it last year. What do you mean?
Yeah at the Grammars when you were wearing that silver like gun metal dress with the choker, you were on the list as well.
Oh yeah that was the Grammys too. Oh I forgot. Okay, well that's nice. Well that's all is my stylist Danny and Emma Style if you want to follow them on Instagram. But yeah, I mean so anyway, we were talking about it and I'm like yeah, like, and then we.
Started getting into to the nobody's going to the Janey Foster charity events that Steven Tyler's not putting on, right, No one's going to a normal Janey Foster charity.
Event that doesn't have a red carpet and doesn't have Stephen Tyler there and doesn't have tons of fee, which I.
Guess an argument is why it's a good thing that he does it, because other none of these people would be there.
And they raised like three million dollars in that room that night with bidding and auctions and everything like. It was seriously, uh, the.
Much much person status thing to put on charity events, and it's just like something you gotta do when you're rich in order to you have your social status.
But there is a tax incentive for sure to do it. And I don't think that's why he does it, but there there has to be otherwise none, no one would do it, right, Like not no one would do it, but fewer people would do it. Yeah, So I I was. I was happy to be there, but I was talking to these reporters about like why this is so important
to you? And then I was like, actually, this is really important, because then I started going off in some tangent about you know, how I was born with a supportive family and the reason that I'm even able to be there that night is because I had I wasn't in foster care and I didn't I wasn't abused as a child, and I like kind of felt loved growing up and didn't have you know, I had a stable foundation to make me feel like I could do something. I had parents that's fancy naturally supported me.
Yeah, because most of the celebrities there probably were abused as children. That's why there's celebrities.
Well that's why I also said, Yeah, I also said, these girls need this help because they've been through trauma, and trauma makes good art, so like, and it makes like for a really strong, cool person. And so I almost started getting off on my tangent about like if you're molested, you're cool, like I did. I almost went there,
but I didn't, but I did. It was I was speaking to that and that, you know, I was checking my privilege at the door along with my umbrella because it was raining a lot and the event was really fun, but I at the end of the night, I had to give. So it was like this, we were just watching you go there and you sit and you eat dinner, and it's this really fancy, you know, three course meal, and I'm sitting at this table with all these celebrities
and it's really fancy. Everyone's dressed like they're at the Grammys. The dress was rock and roll chic. So it's like it's it was. It was fancy. It was at the Palladium. It's big, you know, space, and it was so it was gorgeous. And I think, I don't know, someone like sponsored my ticket. I did not buy a ticket to go. I think there's like these tables you had to like buy a seat, but I because I guess I was giving I was doing one of the auctions they let
me in for free or whatever. It was awesome. And but then the auction was after the Grammys. So we're watching the Grammys and I'll get into that later of like who is at my table and the dynamics there and trying to watch Taylor Swift win but not act like too much of the fangirl because I didn't want to seem lame because no one else really seemed to care that much. But it was the highlight of my night when she won, Like it was as if my
best friend was winning. I was so excited. But at the end of the so we watched the whole Grammies and then after that that's when the auction start. And my auction item is like number ten, and my auction item is Taylor Swift's earrings that she wanted Cheese games them no because they they were like this is like they went for fifty grand, which isn't that much in the scheme of things, like other stuff was going for
a lot. I think fifty grand was that's reasonable for it was some stacked rings, you know, like ring two or three rings that Jay Loo wore in a video music video and there's like a prominent picture of her like doing this and like yea posing with them, so you know she wore them, and they were the ones she wore. And then the earrings were the ones Taylor
Swift actually wore to the Chief Game. I remember looking up these exact earrings because I followed Taylor Swift styled, which is an account that tells you how to buy her things. As you know, I frequent and so I remembered these earrings and I was really excited to have that be the thing that I was auctioning off or like I was. There was a guy doing the auction
going like we got okay, I under you that. No, no, no, he there was a guy that did it and he was really good at it and sounded like what did you do. I was just like presenting the item and talking about it.
But I, oh, cool, so what did you say?
Was so nervous because it's like a room of a bunch of like celebrities and they're you know, mistresses and just different. There's like lots of people, lots of rich people in the room. For sure. There was there were people that were just like donating one hundred thousand dollars by raising their hand, just like okay, I'll just give that like really important people. And they gave me a script. This is always the way it is with these things.
They give you a script and then they go but you can punch it up, and then there's no then but there's no like, Okay, here's the punched up script I wrote, and now you print that up for me. There's just like now here's They hand you the script and they're like, now here it is, and You're like, but you told me I could punch it up, and now you're handing it to me and it's the same one as before. Like I was just kind of gonna go off the top of my head. So I got
this script and I'm like should I follow this? And then I was like, now I'll just go off the top of my head. I know, like what jokes I'm gonna make, And I just I went off the rails. Man.
I was nervous. Bill Burr was there. I get nervous ever doing anything in front of Bill Burr because I like him so much, and I just know that he like is cynical about everything, and I don't know, I just felt I know that if I were him, he's really nice and like he was he, I know that, and I put it out of my mind, and luckily
he left before I went on stage. I like, I was pulled early from my table and he was sitting at my table, and then I was pulled early to like go in the wings and wait for my item to come up. And while I was gone, he had left. And I was so glad because afterwards, I was like I said to Chris, I was like, oh, I can't believe Bill Burr saw that. He was like, no, he left right before.
I was like, yeah, not that it.
Really matters, but like it kind of does because I just was so I started out good. I made all my jokes that I wanted to make. I was like, these are the same earrings that she nervously played with while she while she watched Travis Kelce go in for a pass or whatever. I was like, she definitely like went like this, like h she was putting them in and was like do I get it? Like I was like,
she's touched these or her DNA is on it. You can the technology is advanced enough, we can you could use these to clone her someday and I was funny and then I was saying and then there's some rings that Jaylo wore in a music video that no one saw and that didn't get a laugh, but Eat just got groans because everyone suddenly loves her now because whenever there's like a backlash, you know with Io. You know, did you see that now? You know the girl that
is in the bear that won the Golden Gloves? Yeah, I mean she hosted sl She hosted with j Loo, and there was a video that came out or a podcast clip that came out where she was talking about it was called the podcast called Scam Artist, and it was she was like, you know, who's the biggest scam artist going? Is Jlo? This girl thinks she can sing. So it was like two years ago that she went off about j Loo being a scam and then it resurfaced right before she's doing the show with j Loo,
which is really embarrassing. I've been there before, or where you mouth off and then you have to like work with that person because you just don't think you'll ever get to the place in your life where you're like next to Jlo being like I'm hosting SNL, this Week with musical guests. Jaylo I talked about two years ago, and she's gonna be singing the thing I told her you she can't do. Yeah, so but anyway, so it's kind of like there was this like there's a lot
of chatter online about Canty singing whatever. And then I think that because I I just said, no one saw the video because no one did. There's no way anyone did.
It was I did.
There's you the name of it is something I'd.
Never even heard realized was still doing music now.
I was just making a joke. No one watches musical videos, music musical videos, No one watches music videos at all. You know, it was just a dumb joke, but got groans because how dare I? And and you know, how dare I? Because I'm less successful than jaylos So I can you can punch up? Everyone?
Did?
Everyone forget that you can punch up that that is that we've all agreed, that's allowed. That you're not supposed to punch down.
But like to make fun of celebrities as Ricky Gervais, he gets away with it, that's it, doesn't.
They like were mad at him at first when he did that.
Cool, Well, maybe that's the difference. Then maybe it's just like you can't care if they get mad at you, and then you got to get mad at getting mad at you.
Yeah, well, I'm so sorry you did io did?
Oh?
Okay? Yeah?
She she kind of said, like, I'm I I'm embarrassed of things I said two years She kind of like alluded to it and did in a really classy way. I would have not handled it that well. I would have been like, can I get on a different show? Like I would have just begged to be on different I don't know what I would have done if I were her those because you know Jlo is going to see it or hear about it that you were mouthing
off on a podcast about how she can't sing. I mean, I just hope I never have to cross paths with her because I don't think she can't keep. But I can't sing, So I'm allowed to call it someone else who can't sing, you know what I mean? Like, maybe I should only be to call someone else out if I could sing, But I think it's.
Somebody who's a celebrity. Should you should be allowed to make fun of anybody who's a celebrity who's in the public light. They're choosing to be in the public light. Therefore they are choosing to.
Know about that publically.
Why. I mean, that's part of the game. If you're going to be a celebrity, a celebrity, you need to know that people are going to be talking about you at the whole point.
Even though it's not in good taste. I do agree with Brian. Yeah, it's just it's yeah.
It's celebrities politicians the same time.
I don't want to be made fun of, but I know, but I do know that it's part of it. And I have been made fun of, and I just don't. I just you know, I I laugh along with it and I go, I know, if any it's nice when you hate yourself deep down, because anyone that says anything about you, you can just go, I agree, you know, like it's really But if Jalo likes herself, so I think that's the problem.
That would be a funny reaction. If you're sitting in an audience someone makes fun of you, and you and it cuts to you and you just go, I agree, that would be a funny reaction.
Oh you mean, like a an reward. Do I get made fun of? Yeah?
You could do the Taylor Swift thing of just sipping your drink, but I think it'd be funny if you turn the person next to you and go, you know, I agree, she's making love.
I think it's hatred, though.
I want to just say it's like, I think you have self awareness, Like it's not. It's not the self hatred that makes you that way. You have self aware life. A lot of people don't know them.
So when people are like, would anyone anything anyway, it's kind of nice because anything anyone could say about me, I just it doesn't. I know I felt that way before about myself. I agree with you on a deeper level. It's I'm not fighting you on it. I don't know why I'm famous either. It irritates me sometimes too or like I'm not even like you know, whatever label of fame I have, it confuses me as well, like anything
that you could be, like what's her deal? Her face is weird, whatever you could say she has, I don't know her feet or gross. I agree with you, But so I get up there to do this auction and I just it's just start. I run out of jokes. I run through all my jokes. I say you know, Travis Kelcey's saliva might be on these earrings because he whispered in her ear later that night. His spittle might have, you know, gotten onto them as he whispered, baby, want
to get hot wings? And I did another and then I then I just I think when I get nervous. It's like when jay Z said, when I get nervous, I get honest. Is that what he said? I tell when I get nervous, I tell the truth. That's what he said at the Grammys. And I was like, woff, do I relate to that? Man? Like when when all else fails, just just start. I don't even know if I got honest. I just got gross. I got I
got I got really vulgar. And I'm not like a vulgar person, but everyone but I am, I guess because I don't have a problem saying these things.
But I was like, you know, definitely to the general public, Yeah, stick up their ass. Celebrities who pretend like they're so open to all sorts of artistic expression and then as soon as someone says anything remotely offensive, they get the stick up their ass so far that they're like a fucking puppet. Yeah, I mean probably what is the most stick up their ass group of people.
Oh my god, they all they you sang a song, you wrote a song, and you acted in something. You've literally done nothing for the world. That's literally nothing something. They don't even write the song yeah, mostly yeah, or sing it.
That's why people love when Ricky Face goes off with the Golden globes and then says like, fuck you for even getting offended at this, because these people are just clutching their pearls the entire night.
It's yes, and I'll add myself to the list. I just tell jokes. I am not like an calling me an artist is a stretch and artists aren't that cool and the world would be fine without it. I mean it would be a little bit boring because art like makes you feel good and stuff and makes you process your feelings. But we don't really need it. No, it's not like we're not really changing lives in the way
we all think. We all anyway, we know that. So then I just go I just start saying, like, if you have a swift ye in your life, you need because I'm talking to men, because men are the ones that are you know. Actually, there's some women that bought some stuff and we're paying big money. This woman I think spent like five hundred thousand dollars on a car that was auctioned off. It was crazy, but I was just saying, to anyone who has a swifty wife, you will get your dick sucked so hard it will get
sucked off. I was like, I didn't say it, but I was saying to I was even Dylan Chris, like you know I was. I was just joking as other people were doing auctions, and I was like, they just need to tell people that this will get them laid. Like that should be the incentive for every man. Like if you raise up your little paddle right now, your your wife will blow you or whoever. And so I
just started saying, yeah, this will get this. If you want to get a blowjob tonight and you have a wife that likes Taylor Swift, this is the guarantee she will. And then I go, if you have a daughter that loves Taylor Swift, she'll forgive you for trying to bang her au pair. I was just like saying, I was like that by your buy your children's affection, you will be Your daughter will be cool at school, she will no one will fuck with her if she has these earrings.
And then I said, you know what, I'll blow you if you buy these earrings, if you buy them for me. I have a boyfriend, he's sitting right there. I don't care. I'll blow you tonight if you buy these and give them to me, if you want a blow job from nig And I'm just like going off and I don't really mean that, but I kind of do. And so then then I look down and I have forgotten. There
are children here right in front of me. This is a huge, huge room with probably like three hundred people, four hundred people, and there are children sitting right in the front. And I remember that I knew they were there. Steven Tyler had talked to them prior to the auction starting and was like, do you play drums? You know?
And he was talking as the foster women who were raising money.
For Oh my god, they were the poster women. All they're talking about is like how they used to, you know, prostitute and now they don't have to do that anymore. And I'm there, literally yeah, And so I see the kids and then I'm on this like rant, and then I stop it. And the guy's going off of like we got twenty five over here, we got to can we get twenty seven?
You know?
And I see the kids and then I just go like deer in headlights, like I can't talk anymore. Like I'm supposed to be chiming in with like and they're sustainably grown, their lab grown diamonds, blah blah. I'm supposed to keep giving details, and I'm I'm horrified by what I've done because I see the kids and I see like the parents kind of like coddling them, and I don't even know. I didn't say anything. I wasn't like, I mean, that's as filthy as a god. As I said,
I will blow you. I promise i'll blow you. After the show, but I felt horrible. I haven't worked covered from it. I can't get over it. And afterwards I was walking around just like so ashamed. I wanted to leave immediately, but people kept coming out to me and being like, oh my god, that was nuts. That was the highlight of the night and say stuff like that. But it was like I kept going, I forgot there
were kids here. I forget, and they were like, it's okay, they're gonna learn somehow, And I'm like, yes, I know that, but there when they're adults, they should don't worry about that.
There's celebrities children, They're gonna be fucked up no matter what happened soon.
And if they knew what blowjob meant, then that means that they've probably heard more fucked up things than what you've said.
Okay, other wise they would describe what it was. I wasn't like I will somehow in Venus probably just thought, like a blow comes out.
Oh I'm sorry, did you hear someone say blowjob on stage? Does that mean you're gonna star in succession? Like that? Faith? Like you're these kids? Are you fucking them up? Is only going to make them become stars in the future.
Okay, Okay, they've helped them, Nicky even know it. Yeah, trauma leads to people overcoming things and working harder. Yeah, and okay, so it was good that I did. I just felt like, you know, I just thought filthy. I felt like, you get her out of here, she'll she'll
not she won't be invited back. She didn't understand the tone, Like it's almost like I wore the wrong thing to the event, you know, like you just feel like you didn't get the message and like you're not one of us, like it just felt, and I hate the added thing of like she wanted to like offend all of us. And it was like, no, I didn't I promise you.
I was only trying to sell those earrings and be funny and also just like survive, Like my survival instincts are just go to filthy jokes like and I don't even really intentionally I promise you. I don't intentionally do it, and yeah, maybe it is just like a crutch because I know it'll get a laugh, but I really didn't even it didn't even get a laugh. I did, and it was not guaranteed too. I just was drowning and struggling for a life raft and I had no intention
of saying blowjub. I was only joking about blowdubs with Chris in his ear as I was like making fun of other people presenting items, and I was just suggesting, like they should just promise. And then that's because I
had said it. It was in my subconscious and when I started, when I ran out of jokes to say or anything to say, and it was just awkward that I and I honestly think it hurt the auction because I think that if a man wanted to buy them and he's sitting next to his wife, she now is like, he's just doing that so Nikki will blow him or whatever, you know. Like I think I heard it by like making that part of it, and I was like, oh no, yeah.
So then I felt so bad and everyone was like, I'm surprised they didn't go for more, and I'm like, I know, and then I go, oh my god, it was because I fucking ruined it. It was so bare.
Maybe they just wanted you, like they didn't want the kids to hear anymore, so they were just like, Okay, let's just bid a whole ton of money on this.
So oh yeah, yeah, so close auction. No, they they they were one of the lowest selling and she had just won her fourth fucking artist Album of the Year Grammy. They're like, it's like everything was in place for them to And even the woman holding the earrings was looking
at me like what the fuck? She was just there to like model them and just hold them, and then she goes she just she just won four fourth albums, she just set a record for four hour and I was like, uh, and she had four albums like I was. She was even trying to help me by giving me like talking points, and I couldn't. I was just once I saw that there were kids there, I was disgusted with myself. I wanted to get off the stage. I wanted to go hide in a hole. I couldn't. I
couldn't even handle it. And then I walked back to the table and I'm just like I didn't even see the Bilberg wasn't still there because I was hanging my head so low. And then we got I was like, I'm going to the bathroom, and then Chris came with me, and I was like, I can't believe Bilberg just saw how bad that was, and he was like he's gone. And so that's how sad I was. I like couldn't
even look at anyone. I wouldn't even look at he was sitting at my table, and I had not seen any left because I was just didn't want to make eye contact with anyone because then they have to go good job. And it's like, no, it wasn't. But everyone afterwards was coming up to me like that was the funniest thing. I love you so much and it was a lot of gay drunk men. So that that is that's my Yeah, yeah, that's the niche demo demo. I
want it anyway. Yeah, they I love it, And so I felt like so so good that so many people came up.
Probably, I think is that you want to be accepted by this group of people, and the truth is the only way to be accepted by these people is to act like you don't want to be accepted and be above them.
Uh No, I just didn't. I think I just didn't want to offend anyone or have someone think that I'm dirty, or that I think I'm cool because I'm being dirty, or that I'm being dirty because I love to just rub my sexuality in their face. Like I don't want anyone to be like actually turned on by me offering a blowjob. I want it to be funny because obviously that's not what's gonna happen. But I think I sometimes toe that line between, like people don't know what I'm about.
They just introduced me and the biggest swifty out there in Hollywood, Nikki Glazer, and it's like there's again no fucking context for what I am. No one knows who I am. In that room. It was like, you know, it was I was just the girls sitting next to Zoe Desh now, and we'll talk about that later. But and then Noah's gonna tell us Herbert embarrassing sory after the break, right after this. All right, we're back, Noah, what happened to you this weekend? That was embarrassing? Okay, So a.
Little bit similarly, I asked a bunch of celebrities that I'd blow them anyway.
No, I didn't do that. It's actually a little bit, like way different than your story.
So I went bra shopping for my wedding dress because I have, like all I have are like discounted of sports bras that are really big.
And all that. So I'm like, okay, I need like a nice little, yes, nice bra.
So where do I go? Wait?
Is your wedding dress like a maternity wedding dress? Yes? They sell those.
Yeah, there's actually a lot of nice options. I went for like a form fitting one that's like sparkle all right, and.
It's really v cut.
So I'm like, you know what, I have these puppies, let me use them while I still got them. Yes, And I was like, who has the best push up braw that I know of, and it's Victoria's Secret. So I'm like, I'll go to Victoria's Secret. I'll get like a huge push up raw. I'll make them look like gazungasies.
Are going to grow up one day to be dogs, and I'll love them if.
They stick around. So anyway, so I go in and I have no idea what my new bra size is, so I'm just kind of like looking. I'm like shuffling through these like white push up lace bras and one of the girls that works there comes up to me and she's like, do you need help with anything? I said, yes, I don't know my bras eye, so I'm trying to figure it out. And she's like, oh, well, I can
measure you. So she measures me, and then she's like, what are you go in your clothes on or in the in the dressing room with my I just had my my T shirt on and she just did it over the T shirt and she's like, why don't you go into the dressing room and I'll give you like the like the stock braws to try on, just so we can kind of see, you know, just like get you the side perfect fit.
Go ahead, I bet your right now A thirty four triple D.
Incorrect, Okay, go on, I'll reveal the bra says if people.
Stick around the g I think, so I don't know. Okay, well then it's I'm not because I'm not the top. I'm not there right, trying to trick druple D right, Like it's like triple is the most so double D no, no, no, not that, okay, okay, go on.
So anyway, so she sends me to the fitting room and she brings me like the trial bras or whatever, and I try them on and we find like a good fit, a good size, and then she's like, okay, I'm gonna bring you a bunch. I'm like, okay, I need white or beige, so just and and I really like a push up. So she brings me like two and she she's like okay, I heard Noah, Okay, Noah, I'm putting them on the door and I'm going to get you some more.
I'm like okay. And I was like, did I give her my name? Yeah? It's like I don't think I give her my name. How does she know my name is Noah?
So then I'm like, maybe she just said now. So then she she comes back with some more and she's like hey, I think she said hey now, but she goes, hey, noah, I have some.
More, and I was like, hey, now doesn't even make sense.
I know she's she's maybe like twenty one. There's no way she's like listening to Howard Stern or nose now that Gary Shandling show.
Where it's h okay. So so I'm like, that is so weird. So anyway, so I opened the door and I show her my like the size. So she gave me a thirty four d Okay. The cup was good, but it was way too tight.
Around my waist. I was like, this is like, you know, it's I think I might have to go up in size. So then she's like, okay, well we can give you your your sister's size. What And I was like, okay, how the fuck does she know that I have a sister?
I love that you're like thinking that she actually knows these things, like cosmically, she just senses it as opposed to this is a different person.
You are, this naked, pregnant lady just standing there. I'm like, I was like, I'm sorry, how did you know that I have a sister and what her bra size? Oh wow, wait, where can this be?
So so she's look, she's looking at me and she's like, your your sister's size. And I'm like, I'm like, you'ster. So I was like, I am so like and you knew my name? I don't think I gave you my name? And she's like what she got so scared.
She's like this beautiful, like young, she was like either Polynesian and like Hispanic and just like just like so delicate looking. And here she is like appalled by my questioning asking her how she knew my name and that I have a sister. She had no fucking idea what I was talking about, because apparently did you know that you know, there's like two versions of your brass eye? So my sister size is actually a thirty six C No, no.
No, no, I don't like this. We don't speak your industry jargon. No one knows, no sister side, no Nikki.
Because I was walking around, I had to go back into the fitting room and she said it to someone else and that that girl understood what she was saying.
She was pretending to under.
Size. And I know you from the podcast, so I know that you're not on camera that often. What do you know me?
And she's like, no, I had no idea.
It's an industris.
She has no idea who I was. It was just the language.
I know what she said now.
I think she said no. Yeah. I was like, my name is Noah. How did you know that? And she was like what, I didn't know that. She's fucking scared. She knows, but no, what does your sister size mean? It means like another size you could be like, that doesn't make it sense.
So basically, when you go up in your waist size, your cup size becomes one size in your.
You're not waste like ribcage size. Yeah, yeah, like ribcage size exactly. Okay, so if you go from a thirty four to a thirty six, you're gonna go from like a D to a C.
Right, So I sat it up at a thirty six C. Yes, I used to be either a thirty four A or a thirty two B. Oh my god, my sister size was the thirty two B.
Got it? So you okay? So that was I was just I felt so stupid and I was like, oh
my god, but it's kind of cute. But it's that's because she assumed that you knew her stupid Victoria's secret made up like branding jargon that makes that just tries to make what they do seem more like family friendly or something like that doesn't make any No, It's one of these things people do, like, you know, these people that just assume you are in their brain and have had all your experiences, like, oh my god, I have my icy T test this week and you go, I
don't know what that. Why would you you know me? How would you do you think I know what an icy t? I'm not in your industry. I don't work in you know whatever, public school education. I don't know what that certification class is. Stop. Like I catch my friends doing it sometimes where I'm like, do you think she? Like? Cause I'll see someone say something that I know the
other person doesn't know, and like who this weekend? There was someone that did it this weekend and oh they were talking about it was just like they were mentioning their husband. I think, like they were just saying and then we were at with witheted but it was like, I know, my mom doesn't know Avi's name or whatever, you know what I mean? Like, so it just or doesn't even know that this person's married. So like mine, I have to keep I have to keep injecting context
constantly and go, that's her husband's name. That uh uh. Kirsten doesn't Kurston does a lot, but she's not. She's she does it innocently because she just doesn't. It's not the same thing. She's not like everyone should revolve around my life, but she's just like she'll talk about where
she works. She'll be like, so, yeah, today, so I went to Hillside and I go, that's the gym she works out, like we people don't know these words, and sometimes I do it too, Like I did it on Dancing with the Stars where I said I've had a lot of rough sets in my life and everyone thought I said sex because no one unless you're a comedian, you don't really talk about comedian set like people don't know what that means. And so I've done it too, where I just think everyone is like in my brain
and knows my life. But sister size is not a thing. It's a thing that you educate someone.
About, and I just want to know because I am so out of touch with like like I don't read teen Vogue Anymore or teen Beet or all those magazines. So all the girls who are in their twenties that listen to this show. Is it a thing or am?
I think maybe it's like this gen Z thing like Riz or like no Cap, like you think it's just a slang that everyone knows. I don't think it is.
Maybe.
I mean, no, you didn't, and I wonder if Ali would know. We should check.
But yeah, but I do know what sister size is.
You did not know that? Are you serious?
No? No?
Okay, of course good.
I was like, what it? You know?
What's so annoying about bras? My one of my favorite bras? The bottom you know, it has two clasps on it and the bottom one like you know, just like the wire bent in the laundry or whatever, and so it's just straight now and now it only I can't wear it. I can't stand when a bra is just like, oh God, like cliffhanger, like what one little class like I needed to be solid across otherwise it feels like tight, and the other ones it's just like spilling out on the end.
I don't like it, And so that bra is dead to be now, I bro like bras are just so confounding and every it's so funny that there's so many memes about them and all women relate except.
The sin too hey to bras being. I mean, this is like every man growing up is their whole existence revolves around being able to reach around and unclassics such.
A simple thing that you guys freak out about, but I get it, and it.
Takes any time at all. It's like an emasculating embarrassment.
Like putting con I was on a banana. Yes, you should have to take a braw off a pumpkin, you know, like we should have that because I just feel like, regardless of if it's important or not, there's just so much anxiety that goes along with sex stuff. And like the other like like I didn't know that Dix could like go all the way up. I just thought that they would like go parallel or you know, perpendicular to a man's body. And like I didn't know they could go up more or curve.
Those are like wild. I mean I didn't know.
I just thought it would be like bone and then it was just like straight. I did, like when it you can just move it everywhere.
I don't know that you could push like there are some dicks erect they do do like an arch like the stock market going up.
Yes, that's so true.
Those are like pornographic. Those are like the big bat blacklight of a pictures.
Plane taking off. Yeah, yeah, that's I didn't know. Well, now I know. I thought dicks because you just see guys going like, oh, I'm getting their your litter dicks hit. I thought it was the dick getting hit that hurt. I didn't realize it was the balls. So like when I was first handling a dick, I was so delicate, like I was handling artifact from a you know, archaeological dig I just didn't want to touch it in any way.
And now I realize it's the balls that have the dick get hurt too, I'm sure, but not the way the balls I mean yeah, yeah, I didn't know that it was mostly a ball or like.
A crowd at a celebrity crowd at the Grammys.
Sensitive yeah, stuck up.
Yeah, there's all the dick is stuck up. The balls are sensitive.
Oh the balls yeah yeah yeah. Did you guys watch the Grammys?
No, I meant to Billy Joel was there. M M, that's my man, yep, he was there.
I was like trying trying to watch it, but because we were at a dinner and there's so much talking going on and socializing, it's like hard to watch and listen. But yeah, but I really wanted too because I I and you think you're gonna go back and watch, but you just don't. I don't care about Dua Lipa's performance after the fact, I just don't care. I want it.
I want to watch it live. I I I missed it because we were late getting there and everyone was like, oh, she killed it, and I'm like, oh, yeah, I'll just watch that later. Have I watched it?
No?
It has it come across my feet a bunch? Yes? And did I watch it? I didn't. No, I don't have the time, but I have all the time. Miley Cyrus's performance. I keep seeing clips of that. Have you guys seen that?
No?
I didn't want to. Her looks, her hair, Yeah, oh loved it. Yeah. She never pull it off, but she did. I mean you could because you just have to be rock and roll, like you just got to be so confident and that that girl can pull off anything. Also, she has zero percent body fat, so she can wear anything. She also somethings she's had an eye operation that I like. I think it looks good, but there's no question to me that something's taken place there, And I can't believe
more people aren't talking about it. But I guess it's none of our business. But to me, anytime someone gets face work, we all talk about it. But this were not. But maybe as part of her look like she had this wone book like blown back hair, and so her eyes were supposed to look like whoa, like they'd been blown back as well. Maybe that was it, but I can't imagine.
Sounds crazy.
No, no one's talking about it, Like I keep reading. This is when I whenever I suspect someone had face work, I just start to read the comments to go like, who's gonna confirm it for me? Who else is seeing what I'm seeing? No one's talking about it. Maybe she didn't. As someone who tends to look at these kind of things, I think an operation happened, which you know, no shade because I'll do the same thing. But I liked. I liked that she was like so excited that she won
a Grammy. I thought that was really cool that she wasn't scared to just be like, I just won my first Grammy, but I would I would have thought she won more had she not say said that. Like I was kind of like, that's she's only one one. I was kind of like just yeah, I'd like how.
You make it.
But I liked that she said that because it it showed that she's not yeah, that she's she isn't just too cool for school, like it actually excites her and she's before kind of come across like she's too cool for school.
She did, I just won my third Grammy And then like an announcer had to be like that was her first Grammy.
No, they wouldn't. People would just go, I guess that's correct, Yeah, you know.
Just make it that way on stage as a Grammy winner. You should have said that it's Stephen Tyler's thing.
No one would question it.
They'd go to one Grammy for comedy.
Yeah of course, yeah I could. I could uh egg out of all the like the closest I could get to getting an egot is egg in what for?
What I do?
I think? But yeah, so she but I will say this. I liked what she she gave like a speech when she got one of her things and I kind of overheard it because it's coming back from the bathroom because I had to keep going to the bathroom because I forgot to wear fucking deodorant, and I started smelling so bad, and I like, I was just sitting at the table like this, like looking looking really awkward, nervous, couldn't lift up my arms because I was just so scared someone
would smell it. I want to tell you something, Nikki.
We had a parallel because I forgot to wear a deodorant when I went bra shopping, which was like another reason.
Why I was dunk up those stock bra. I was like, please don't make me put my arms too high, sister sink. I found the best way to combat body odor is to say you have it. When you're around people, Just say I forgot deodorant. I know I might stink, and anything that they could think about you is out the window because you've already called it out.
So just say it to people, but make people aware who weren't aware, but.
At least you've called it out. The worst thing is to have someone smell it and think that you don't know. I think that's the worst thing. Like I could smell someone, but if if I know they know, then I'm like, and they're like, you know, they're nervous about it. They're not like, yeah, no.
Stink weakness, that's cool in there, Like I stink and.
I but I wasn't. Yeah, I wasn't good enough. I wasn't friends enough enough, like Zoey Deschanel and her boyfriend Jonathan Scott from Property Brothers. We were sitting right next to them at the table, and and I wasn't We were good enough friends at the end of the night. Yeah, But at the when I first started smelling myself, I was like, I can't tell them. I wanted to, but I couldn't.
Before you leave, you go up the Zoe dish and I go by the way. I know, I stank all night and night.
Really, if you see me in the picture with them, like, I'm scared to like put my arm around them because I was so stinky. So I kept going to the bathroom to wet down cloths, and my dress was so tight I had to go through I couldn't go up through the bottom because I couldn't reach the zipper behind, so I had to go through my neck and go in and wipe it. And I you know, wet a cloth, I put soap on it, wet it. Then I do
another wet cloth and I dry it off. So I kept going to the bathroom to take care of that. And I was wearing this thong skims, so it was like a skims that like sucks you in. It really looks like a risk cough, like when you first put it on and it's it's so tiny, barely goes over your angle. Then you put it on, it sucks you in, but it slowly rides up through the night and it is splitting you. It's cleaving you in two because it's
a song, so it's just slicing you up. And so then it was like severe advanced you know, almost like infectionary camel tooe happening where it was just like it hurts so bad. It hurts so bad when you have this rubber band slicing you up the front of your crotch. It was so painful. So I had to keep kept going to the bathroom to pull that out.
And but what was it.
Oh, so when I was going to the bathroom, I heard one of her speeches which was like I just want to say, this does not change anything for me. This doesn't really matter. I'm the same person that I was went out Wow God this morning and it I liked some of that of like, this isn't gonna change my life. So she had both of it going like she was very excited about it, but she was also like,
don't think that this makes any me any different. And then I also love that during when she was singing I Can buy Myself Flowers, she you could tell that she noticed the crowd was being too cool for school and probably only Taylor Swift was like up dancing singing along because that's how she does at award shows because she has fun. But you could tell Miley was like,
what the fuck, No one's singing along? And you see at one point she goes, oh, don't even act like you don't know what this song is, and she was like, she like calls them out, and she like fucked up a lyric to be able to say that to them. I really liked that her calling them out.
She's that's the equipment to Ricky Gervais saying like, oh, I'm sure you're so offended that I made fun of j Loo, Like when you do that, you're you're just showing them you just have to tell them how you're supposed to how they're supposed to respond to you.
You're right, I was like towing that line of like wanting them to like me but also telling the truth. And you have to go all in and go, oh, really, are you so sad that I said, well, who here saw this video? Tell me one thing that happened in that music video? Can one person raise their hand and tell me one thing that happened in the video that would have been a great thing to do. You're right, Okay, I'm.
Gonna start seem like to upset. You can't seem you can't see like joy.
You can't start That's how I felt. But you can't say that, Yeah, you can't get too emotional.
Fine joke jab, I'm sure you all saw the video. Sure you all have a video on repeat on your man. I'm sure it's your your iPhone wallpaper? Is this picture of j Loo with her rigs?
That's what whenever I do a joke about a burn victim or a burn survivor and my set not a joke about them, but I reference what a burn survivor looks like, and people go oh, and I go, what do you do? You think they look different? Am I Like, I'm just describing what they look like. I'm not being mean. It literally is just a description. I'm just trying to convey what I notice. And people just get so go oh and I go oh, I get so mad. I go, really,
I go, have you ever staying a burn survivor? Their faces looked aft, like I freak out because they just this whole thing of like I am offended. Why I didn't say they deserved it. I didn't say I hate them and think they should. You know, I was almost gonna say, be burned alive, but that already happened. I was, you know, it's just a fucking truth.
But was it that said like this story where someone goes that that person is this you, that there's a person in a wheelchair, and then they go, oh my god, and that's you. That's and then yes, and then you go, he knows is that you?
Yeah, he knows.
Yeah, that's funny.
Yes. Thanks. Well. One time I literally I saw a burn survivor and a car next to me, like we were at a stoplight, and I like just looked over and I shrieked in horror, not on purpose, instinctually because there was a severely disfigured person that looked like a Halloween mass that looked frightening, because a burnt face should look frightening. You should try to This is survival you should try to have if you see things that look frightening or that could cause damage to like it's that,
you know it. There's a reason I didn't like. I felt so bad, so bad, but I just can't help the way I react.
You know, it's a natural reaction. It's hard to not react that way. The person who is burned is not dangerous. I don't know if like the evolutionary standpoint, but maybe in terms of like reproducing with them or something, but it is, Yeah.
That's probably it. But they wouldn't have survived in back in the day and came in days you would never see a burn victim.
It's tough to put yourself in their position and then just be thoughtful. Every every five minutes someone is shrieking in horror.
You no, I know, you would also hope that the care that they receive a part of it is, you know, like learning to deal with people's reactions and how to not take it so personally.
Yes, that's tough.
It was. It was I felt. I felt horrible, but I also I couldn't blame myself. It's not like I wanted to have that reaction and now, and I think that it did. There was a lesson learned there where, Like I think after that moment, my brain was like, you don't get to react as soon as you want to on things when you're scared anymore, Like have a there's gotta be a little bit of a delay or something. I had to. I think that I adjusted my timing in my body because I felt so bad about that.
But yeah, they must, they deal with that all the time. I mean, but to act like you don't, act like there's not a difference between their face and ours is an insane thing. And to not acknowledge it, that's where I just go like, oh really, Oh you don't see it? Cool? All right, we gotta go to a break. We'll talk. Brian, you got to come up with an embarrassing story for us.
Did that it happened this weekend?
Yeah, you gotta have one. We'll see if you hate drums one up after this. So the Grammy party was super fun and it was worth the thousands of dollars I spent to do it for sure, because even though I don't know that I really helped this organization, when you meet Tyler, and I didn't want to bother him because he I know, the even reason I was there
was because of doctors. I tells my surgeon who did my vocal cord surgery, he did Steven Tyler's vocal cords, and I think he told Stephen about me, and then Stephen booked me on an event last year in Vegas, and Stephen wasn't able to make it to that event, but then this year I got invited to this anyway, so I'm I'm on a list, and Steven's voice is really fucked right now, and he was like I shouldn't even be talking like when he was like presenting stuff like he was like I should My doctor says I
shouldn't even be doing this, and so I Chris was like, you should go say hi, and I'm like, I don't know. I don't want to take any of that man's vocal
cord energy. So I didn't meet him. But he was really funny and cool and looks amazing and played the drums and stuff and that was cool, but so A Deschanel was at my table and her boyfriend, and we became pretty great friends with them by then the night, I will say she asked for my number at the end of the night like that because I'm never gonna ask for her number even though I wanted it, and I was like, I want to stay in touch with it. She invited me to her birthday party, like she is
so nice. We got along right away. She knew she already knew who I was, so that was nice. But she also she hosted the event and she was so funny. I was so impressed and so we it was it was just a nice way to bond over that where I'm like, this is a hell gig and you just killed it. And so we got along. And then I asked them how they met, because they're just like such a funny couple pairing. Everyone's like Zoe Desnel and the Property Brother, and it was really cool to hear how
they met. They met on carpool karaoke. They were both doing carpoo karaoke and he's just so funny and so nice and so cool. And even Chris was like I remember just being real suspicious of that relationship of like why are they together? This seems so weird, and he's like,
I could not support it anymore. He was like, I want to do a press tour about them and how cool they are and how much they belong together and how sweet they are, And it was just they were just so funny and so nice and just so personable. And you know, I don't like to bug celebrities, Like if they would have just wanted to stay and talk
to themselves, I wouldn't have even noticed or cared. I would have been like, that's yeah, of course, Like they don't, but they went out of their way to include us in the conversation and just so nice. And Tiffany Hattters was at my table, and my friend Chris Porter, Dean del Rey, Greg Fitzimmons was there, Bob a Booie was there, Sammy Hagar Frasier was sitting right behind me. Who else?
Bill Burr showed up and donated a bunch of money for just you know, at the start of the auction, before they did the items, they were just like, who's here to give one hundred thousand dollars? Who's ready to do that? And then people were just like just donating money without any incentive. They were like giving them a scarf that Stephen signed. But Bill Burr was one of the people that donated a big sum of money, which
was really cool. And I was like, man, I can't wait to get to that point where I'm just like, yeah, ten grand, like let's do it. Just raise my hand casually while I'm in the middle of a conversation. He looked so cool and I'm trying to think of anyone else. Yeah, it was it was fun. And oh and Bobby Burke from Queer Eye. I met him a while ago at my one of my friends, my friend who was my vocal coach for Dancing with the Star or sorry mass Singer.
I became really good friends with her, Amy Chapman. She invited me to this like dinner that she was making one night, and Bobby Burke from Queerye was there. And I don't really watch Queer Eye, so I wasn't that intimidated, but I've come to find out it's like he's very, very famous and so talented and so cool. And so he was there again, so I got to see him again, which is always nice, and we hit it off again and that was fun. Yeah, it's just it's fun to
it was a good night. It was Yeah, I was good.
You know.
It went It started at like three p thirty, but I probably got there at five and it went until we left it like eleven thirty.
Wow.
And then we went home and finished Killers of the Flower Moon, which I did have to chop into two nights. I'm trying to watch all the Best Picture nominees. Have you watched Killers of the Flower Moon?
Yeah? I saw it in theaters.
Oh my god, final thought, how did you get through that in one sitting? Did you go to the bathroom? Did you miss the scene?
Like?
What did you do?
Complete cookie one? Complete cookie.
On? Did you go You didn't go to the bathroom at all?
No?
No, wow, because I would have. I would have been like, can anyone pause it? Like I feel like with movies now, I just I can't go to movie theaters because I want to pause and rewind because I miss something because I was you know, like, yeah, you miss things. Now when you watch things at home and you stream them, you can really absorb the whole thing. So Killers of the Flower Moon so long? Three hours and forty seven minutes. Yeah, can I just say no, no? You did?
Really? I like when a movie well because think about it, most most isn't it days we're watching series and like a series is like ten episodes and it's like ten hours, and you get spending that much time with those characters.
I get breaks.
I appreciate the breaks, but I'm talking about like just sometimes I watch a movie that's an hour and a half and I'm like, I would have loved to have seen those characters for like five six more hours.
Totally. Yeah, you know what, I will say that it is too long, but I loved being able to chop it up like like an episodic thing. So Chris and I watched it over two nights, and it was nice because I watched the first half and then I got to think about it and go, like, what is going to happen with this? Who did kill Anna? What is you know? Is Hal responsible for all? Like all that I was starting to it was rumor. I was able
to ruminate on it. It was much like when you're watching a series, and then yeah, I was so excited to get home to finish it, to find out what happened. And then I was sad when it was over because it did feel like a TV show that ended too soon. But yeah, you got to chop that.
Movie up on HBO Max or on Max where you can turn a movie into a series.
That's a good idea.
He'll chop it up for you.
Leo was amazing. He is the best actor ever. His face was in a permanent perma scowl. The entire thing.
You had, the old, the old, the face that all people from the eighteen hundreds had all.
Yeah, he had this, like Grimace, the entire thing that definitely is not natural for his face to look like that. Yes, perfect, Brian, that's it. Yeah, the whole thing. And even when he smiles, he has it. And it was so Its just I felt bad for him because I was like, that's gonna wrinkle his skin so badly.
Yeah, but what does he care.
It doesn't matter.
He's going to look better if he gets wrinkled. He's got transition into his old man face. Now, yeah, you're going to start the transition to where he's starting to play characters who are these grizzled like he still has a few like baby face features that he needs to destroy at this point.
This movie did it. Yeah, his face contorting it in that way. He just looks like he's in pain. The entire the entire movie. But he's so man. I just saw a recent clip from Eating Gilbert Grape, What's Eating Gilbert Grape. It was the scene where he discovers his mom's dead and he's like, you know, dude, I can't
believe how good he is. I'm watching that. I'm like, this is a child, and he seems so like mentally handicapped, like without question, he's making these little movements of his face and little decisions and apparently in that scene they just let him go and do what he wanted and it wasn't really scripted, and it was I just was reminded of what an incredible talent he is, like just superhuman, almost able to embody someone else.
But I agreed day Lewis, which I'm so sad that he retired. But everything, every single thing that he did, I was just like, he elevates the movie, elevates the script. It's amazing.
DeNiro was great. Martin Swors he was so distracting at the very end of the film.
Yeah, that was weird.
I really disliked that. I get it that you want to hitchcock, have your hitchcock.
Mo.
Does he do this in every movie? Because I don't remember him in other films that I've seen. Has he inserted himself in every movie he does?
He's been in movies before, but I don't know every movie.
I love him. I loved him in Pretend It's the City or whatever he did with fran Leebowitz. I just love him. I'll watch him all day. But I did not like he needs to play a character that doesn't have an important role. So he comes into the end at him in a moment where you're like kind of learning. It's almost like the epilogue to the film is the last scene, and you're learning what becomes of all these people, and he has this monologue in which you really feel
you it wraps it all up. And I realized halfway through I haven't heard anything he said, because I am so like, oh my god, that's the director. But I wonder how he directed himself. I wonder how I'm just like, ah, he looks like this, Oh he's actually a good actor, and like, my stupid you know girl mind is just going berserk about all the different things. And then I don't even realize that there's some really good you know,
uh what's the word called uh? When they when they describe what's happening.
What's it called narration?
No, it's a word that that people will say, Yes, there's an amazing exposition happening right here. And I've lost it all because I'm so distracted by him. But I just kind of like it. I still liked it. I was a little dazzled. It was a little tricky. You just go, oh my god, that's Marty. Yeah, and I've been watching I watched Maestro last night. Have you seen Maestro?
No, But I do want to say I looked it up. There's Martin Scorsese has a cameo on almost every movie that he really Sometimes it's audio only, like in The Wolf of Wall Street he was he was just audio only. Okay, Hugo, remember Hugo, the twenty eleven hit. He was just like a photographer. He took a photo.
I think it's fun to the little Easter eggs. But that was just don't play a pivotal part like that. Because I was too distracted, I missed out on stuff. I will say that the actress in it was so beautiful and good and perfect for the role. But that is a role I would like to play. Do you know why the whole movie. You just look sad and sick. There's no other emotions going on. It's just always like and then there's sometimes perfect Nikki you got and then
sometimes she's like it was amazing but not. I'm not saying anything bad about her performance because she nailed what the character required. But if we're talking oscar worthy, there were not every role is oscar worthy, no matter how well you act it. Do you understand what I'm saying.
So there were like Wonka's probably not oscar worthy, even though Timothy it could be.
I'm talking about like there was just wasn't a lot of different emotion worthy just say because well there I don't know because I didn't. There wasn't like a I guess for a character that I deem as an oscar worthy character. You there's like Peaks and Valley.
Like a rangement.
Yes, And like when I said, when I think about it again, yes I do. I think she was incredible and like the actual interesting thing about her performance was she didn't have to say much to know exactly what she was thinking.
That's really obviously scene where and Lily Gladstone are having their first lunch and then there's flirting sort of flirting in like an eight imagine what it would be like.
What about their last lunch? Oh that was a good one too, And and I mean, and she plays sick really well. I mean it was just I really I want to get I want to get a roll like that that requires me to just look depressed the whole time. Yeah, and like and wrap myself in really gorgeous blankets.
Like Dallas Buyers Club or something.
Yeah, I don't know, I don't remember, but you know, but she she wasn't. I mean, that movie was amazing. There was just too there was a little bit too much of violence, but that's Scorsese. And like as we began the show, like someone gets their head shot off and I go, and Chris was like, this is gonna be the whole thing, and I was like, I know, but I gotta see it because I'm challenging myself to watch them all. So I'm glad I got through it.
It was really good. Maestro also really good, really well acted. And he directed it to and wrote it Bradley Cooper.
Damn.
I mean, he like, this is this is what I'm talking about an Oscar performance.
Like I do.
I think the movie was the best I think The Killers of the Flower Moon was a better movie. I think that Lily got lad Zone it might be a better actress than he is. But he gave himself a character that has a lot to do.
Mm hmmm.
He's conducting and he's playing piano, and he's crying, and he's you know, he's thriving, he's doing coke off something. He's gay, he's straight, he's you know, there's just a lot of dynamics, which I guess, you know, who what do I I don't know anything, but I thought it was really really good, but a little bit I don't know what I was supposed to get out of it. Yeah, these movies, I just go what what I get? What I learned from Killers of the Thought Moon. It taught
me some history. It taught me. What did it teach me? It taught me, Yeah, it just taught me history. It taught me how we treated it Native Americans.
Yeah, it taught me contextualize the plight of Native Americans. And it's something that is still we should still be aware of in America today. Like they still have their reservation in Oklahoma and they're large, they own a large chunk land in America. They're like a sovereign nation in America, and like, I didn't even know they existed.
Yeah, and I didn't know. That's how the FBI started. I thought that was kind of cool. And living in the twenties, it's terrifying. You do whatever you want be murdered all the time.
Oh yeah, you can do whatever you want.
No one gave a fuck.
There's that John mulaney joke where it's like they didn't have DNA, so a detective goes into a murder scene. There's a pile of blood on the ground and he's just like, blood, Oh, mop it up.
Yeah. It was scary to watch, just thinking about how scary. Yeah, and it's that's it's a true story, right, Yeah, Yeah, that's one's worth seeing. And Maestro is also worth seeing. I'm going to see Poor Things tonight with my mom. I saw Past Lives, I've seen Barbie, I've seen Open Oppenheimer.
I'm worried about Poor Things. I feel like it's gonna be up to Artsy. I'm worried I'm gonna despise Poor Things, but I have to see it still.
Yeah, yeah, I'm worried.
It's one of those movies where they're like they're trying to like force you to They're trying to they're daring you to like it, so that it's like fine art where you're like, oh, I guess you just don't understand. What did you like?
Everything all at once or whatever that movie was. I didn't see it, but I think that was that to me, that that description of like, oh weird, I dare you to like this.
In description, the description of that movie feels that way. But the movie itself is much more like pop culture and mainstream than you would think. But I didn't like it as much as everyone. Everyone went crazy for that movie and I it won, right, it won Best Picture, And I thought it was a good movie. I really enjoyed it, but I didn't think it was like a mind blowing like I thought The Matrix was more mind blowing in terms of how it like distorted your view
of the universe than everything all at once. I'm just kind of also sick of the multiverse because of Marvel, like and I just hate the concept of the multiverse, whether it's true or not.
I just don't like this multiverse. There's other dimension, there's an infinite number of dimensions, so that so every single possibility that still happening. Sort of like that, but it's like every single thing that could possibly be happening is concurrently happening and so and this is back backed by theories and physics that have been tested, and it could actually be true. But when it comes to movies like Marvel and everything all at once, this is definitely extrapolating
on the theories and taking artistic license. But I hate it because the purpose of movie is to tell a story, and when you introduce the multiverse as a concept, you are eliminating the stakes of any story by saying, well, every single outcome in this story is happening, so it doesn't really matter what happens to these characters. It doesn't really matter what happens in this story because nothing matters
because everything is happening all at once. And I guess the point of the movie is that it tries to find meaning even in that. But me personally, I'd rather there be no multiverse in art at all, because I think it completely devalues the purpose of art, which is to say that take a meaningless universe and say this matters.
And here's why.
Okay, yes, I hear that, I like the idea though that nothing matters because it's I think that's an interesting point as well. I got to see everything everything you ant man, how is it? How does Marvel talk about this stuff? We're too late in the show to get into this. But like Marvel and everything all at once? Is those are similar.
Their lengths, Yeah, because they both they're both premised on the theory of the multiverse.
I've seen Action Hero movies and I don't think that I get bogged down by the fact that there's other realms where this is not happening, or it's happening in a different way. I don't feel like.
The only movie like that that I've really thoroughly enjoyed was Into the Spider Verse because it was hilarious and someone on Yeah, there was only like five Spider Man's.
Love on the spectrum. They liked that, and they kept saying, Spider Man into the Spider Verse. Yes, I've seen in Spider Man into the Spider Verse. Did you like Spider Man into the Spider Verse? Yes, I love Spider Man into the Spider Firn. They can say the whole thing, because I guess.
You have to.
It's one of the best animated films of all time. Okay, for sure, all.
Right, good to know. Well, i'll see poor things. I'll give my report tomorrow or I mean next week. We're going to the super Bowl this weekend. Yeah, starting uh.
I don't know if you'll be able to give you because our episodes are airing next week.
Oh yes, so far.
We should talk about our expectations about the super Bowl.
Well, no, that's today's that's today's show. Real quick, what are your expectation expects? And thirty seconds or less?
Oh my god, thirty seconds or less. Well, I hope. I hope we get some good guests, and I hope that these guests get what I hope if we get Zire Franklin to be one of our guests. I have a Zire Franklin jersey and I wanted to sign it, and I'll wear it. I'll wear it on the show.
I'm exciting to listen to.
I'm rooting for the forty nine ers because I'm anti Dynasty. Oh okay, the Chiefs won last year. Although if the Chiefs win the Super Bowl this year, I do win five hundred dollars from one of a bet I made preseason.
Should definitely want that done.
But I just like the Chiefs are like the evil Empire. Now they win all the time.
Is there any part of you, Brian that's like someone was talking this weekend about how they don't want to They had a chance to go to the game, but they're Chiefs fans, and so they didn't want to go because they can't watch the game as easily when you're at the stadium as opposed to on TV, you can get up close and like you actually watch the game. Is there a part of you that's kind of like, oh, I'm not gonna be able to really watch it.
No, because the Super Bowl in particular is always you can't watch it if you have a Super Bowl party. I think watching the Super Bowl is one of the worst game experiences of all time because you're at a party, you're eating chips, you're talking to people, and no one's actually paying attention to the game. I'd rather be sitting there on the couch and watching the game in silence alone.
Why don't you do that then most times.
Because you participate in society.
Yeah, they do that too. Okay, my expectations are, will Ali bring me like a football thing to wear? Because I did not order anything in time? Does she have any kind of.
Yeah, of course she has something. Rad Is. It's going to be bears though we don't have chief stuff.
Oh god, will I be able to buy a chief thing?
You know?
In town?
We could probably get you something. You're you're at an NFL booth. I'm sure that someone can give you something.
You have ample opportunity to purchase an infinite what I'm worried about everything? Okay, take it to this a Super Bowl game experience just happening at the hotel where we can try to kick a field goal.
Yeah, that's when you asked me about that. I'm like, am I gonna have to like throw things and catch them and.
A lot of stuff. There's a lot of stuff. It's probably gonna be pretty crowded.
Okay, wow, well, well you'll hear us from the super Bowl next week. Those episodes will air. I'm very excited about it. And yeah, do you guys go on Instagram live if you can over the weekend? Oh? Yeah, for sure.
I'm going to be Instagram and all sorts.
Of ship Okaylazer Pod.
Yeah, I feel like you make it. You do a lot of stories on Instagram, and I'm kind of like, I think I should start doing more stories just to remind, because you know, I post a video every like two or three weeks, and then people forget that they're following me, and then posting the stories in between makes people like, oh I remember that main feed.
No one, I'm not even about main feeds anymore. I just want to see stories. Yeah, you can post anything a story and it'll disappear. There's like, no, it's it's pretty freeing to do to do stories. I love it, and you can just start doing it. No one's gonna be like, oh, look who's trying to do stories? Like no, you know, like you can just do it and then not do it if you want to. But yeah, it's the stories.
There's there's funny things in there. You're frequently propping up other comedians that I've never heard of, and I'm like, oh, I want to see what that person. Well that's nice, okay, Yeah, No, I really like your stories. And then sometimes you even break news for me. I'm like, well, I don't know that. Yeah, Toby Keith died.
I mean I didn't break that news, but I did see that today and that's really sad. He just performed in December and he died and it's February, like, how oh boy? All right, well, let's go to the super Bowl. We'll see you there next week. Don't be cut And I'm not doing just anymore. I'm just too exhausted trying to figure them out by a new sign up, a sign all right, brand storms, Brian Storms, Brian Storms. All right, bye, guys, be next week.