The nick A Gliser Podcast Glaser Tears Nikki.
Hello here I am. It's Nicky Glaizer Podcast. Welcome to it. It's the first podcast of the week for us.
My mom is here.
Hello everyone, Backed by popular demand, What happen?
Don't like it? I'm sure?
Yeah, I gotta say. I wouldn't want to hear someone if I was like a fan of someone's, I wouldn't want to hear their mom on the podcast unless they were the same around their mom as they are not around them, Right, that's like you think they're going to be kind of like.
Just there.
I just don't like when people change. And I definitely am different around you. I can be like a worse version of myself because I could be mean, because I revert back to being a brady teenager. But I don't think I'm different in the terms of like what I share.
No, I think you're very loving lately.
Lately, Okay, letting it go, you guys, I'm reading the book letting Go and letting go. Yeah, well, you know you're not gonna be around forever.
And yeah, or like being a brat exactly. It's there's just no.
Point loaded off, let it go, loaded off, loaded off, No, loaded on the kinds.
The kindness like loaded onto you. Yeah, okay, I love it. I can tell you the same, can me give me I'm giving it loaded I'm going to give it.
Brian Fraani's here related to anybody here?
Loaded on, Brian, Brian, We're going to see your your family.
Though.
I invited Brian to come open for me in Florida next week Fort Pierce and Dayton and next weekend, so if you're around. But Brian was like, these are the most advantageous dates you could ask me to do. Because my mother lives in Fort Pierce. Oh my god, I never even heard of that.
Saint Lucie, uh, which is like five minutes from there, but it's very close to.
Her house, which is where Andrew's parents lives. Weird, I only get podcasts.
Because of Andrews.
She wanted to go live near Andrew's parents, and.
Who wouldn't honestly, But no, she she already she don't even know where any of those.
An hour or so or an hour and a half north of Miami. It's on the Atlantic coast of Florida, in the middle of but it's become a retirement hot spot. There's quite a lot of boomers that live there in certain communities. It's where mar A Lago is, it's around where there is.
Oh that's right, Andrew's dad got married at mar Alone.
Oh god, I forgot that.
Yeah, it is not such weird trivia.
I know it's so, but it's important.
It's important to know.
My mom is super excited.
She is so proud of me, and she has she already has a fourteen friends coming.
Yeah, whoa you know, I can comp you a great deal of tickets. I don't have a ton of family and friends in Fort Pierce, and I get several comps. So well, you didn't even know your mom doesn't need to. If they can afford tickets, okay, buy them. But if they're like if anyone's pension pennies at.
All retired on fixing com yeah, do not.
I don't want them to pay to see me. I can't have everyone listening. But it's just if you know there's sort listen. If you're really hard up and you have no money and like you'd love to see me, if you write me on Instagram, you know, if I see it and I have comps, I'll give you one.
But you better be a nice person that's not lying about being down and out and like you better and as long as you better need gracious and grateful and and you're I'm not gonna be like here you go, you poor person, like I get it, like you can't go. I'm not gonna make you feel bad about asking, and I'm not gonna question. I'm not gonna make you prove it by giving me bank statements or something. But listen, if I can, and if you don't get through all my dms, it's because I you know again, I either
didn't see it or sometimes they don't get through. It's very strange who gets through for me and who doesn't. So I apologize if you don't get through. But if I do see it, and you're just like, I really want to see you, and I don't have the money.
I got you. You're so generous.
I wish I could give away all free tickets. I know, you know, Mommy's got to make money. Mom's got to make mom has venmos too, for pill there's a lot of Veno requests.
I bet you this is.
The new thing on Venmo. They will just write you because people can just guess what your venmo name is by guessing like variations of your name with underscores or whatever it is, you know, and they will just write like pizza and tickets, and they'll make you think that
maybe you money do owe them for this thing. And then some people just and I think they just do this to celebrities, and it's gotta work sometimes because sometimes it's like I just need groceries, like that'll be the venmo, and it's like asking for twenty bucks, and if I'm in a kind spirit, I might just go all right, I think I've one time fulfilled it. Please don't send me tons of them, because you're going to go, oh, this guy wrote asked for three hundred dollars, listen to
this airbnb and candles. If I was not a discerning person, I might just go, yeah, I guess I owe that person for an Airbnb and candles. Or if I had my assistant, maybe fulfilling my venmos instead of me personally. This is like when they tell people to send a wedding invitation to billionaires, because they usually have assistance going through all the invitations, they'll turn it down, but they'll send you a gift.
Wait, did you get that invitation? What for a wedding.
I don't get my mail.
Really, no, we sent a picture of it. Someone sent one from Saint Louis to you.
Oh really did you?
Maybe maybe it's women my phone was dead or that's.
What I'll say. Yeah, I think it's when your phone is Yeah, my.
Phone did dive. I was without a phone for like fifteen hours, maybe thirty hours, wow, fifteen to thirty hours, and so much stuff got lost or Nikki and an he knew was I was waiting to hear back on. I was like it must have been sent during that time. I'm not gonna be upset with that person. Yeah, and anything it was. It's nice, yeah, so nice when you
can't be on your phone. Except I will say I was going through a stressful moment, like I lost my phone screen died, and I was going through an emotionally stressful kind of couple hours when it happened, okay, and I started binging food because I couldn't be at my phone was the thing that was going to distract me
out of this. I had to reach for a drug like I ate so much in that period where I was trying to call my nervous system because I was going through like I just needed to cry, probably, but I usually would have just scrolled on my phone or just like not even scrolled. Let's talk about like reached out to my girl's chat, reached out to my friends via text, like reached out to something to soothe me.
But I had no communication with outside world, so it was just skinny pop, which you know that name is ironic when you eat four bags, four party sized bags.
I like the idea.
I've said this before, but just the idea of a girl just shoveling skinny pop in her face and being like, why is that working? What geniuses? Marketing genius is putting.
The Bethany skinny girl, cocked girl cocktails.
Amazing marketing. Yeah, it's this will make you skinny.
Remember smart things.
When I was growing up, there was a cookies called smart There was a lot of things back then that were trying to trick you into thinking if they were healthy, but they're not.
Yeah.
Yeah, green packaging equals good for the planet.
Good for your heart. Oh my god, anything with.
Thin single candy bar that I can think of, we have a green package, except for maybe not a chocolate bar. There's skittles, there's sour Skittles.
Actually, yeah, but that's not even that like earthy kind of forest green, forest of green, kelly green. That that Andy's mint health Maybe yeah, okay.
Ben mint, but it's not really I can't.
But Andie's mints also feel like are like when you eat my dark chocolate. I'm like, I could, I could.
I love them. I really.
With the binge eating disorder, they could bringe. I could binge baby carrots. It's crazy if you get but that's not binging, because yeah, it is if you get sick from baby carrots. Speaking of baby carrots, I used to binge baby carrots when I was like more anioxic days of my life and it turns your skin or us, which I like because that's my go to.
I got a spray.
Tand for the Emmys, it's Creative Arts ummies that I presented. See I told it's so orange. He went bananas. He did it, by the way, did you hear me say?
Oh?
He went orange? He went Aprica went oranges. He yes, I called the place because I used go to this place in La for the versus spot, which is what I recommend every girl. If you want to try a spray tan. It ups your hotnss by so much. Just do the booths. Just walk in, get sprayed down, do the highest level. You're not going to look too orange. The highest level will not make you look like Ross from Friends in that one episode. It will not be
crazy looking. If you want like soup goat, I have to sometimes go to these booths twice in a row.
To get the shade I want.
So I went to this guy or I called up and I go, do you guys do airbrush? Which is when they do it manually right, because I'm like, this is the Emmys. I gotta not do versus what's different? And this place doesn't even get me tan enough the versus spots. You stand there and a machine does it. Would you wanted a machine? Han hand done is going to be just a better job. And you can tell them what you want, like, oh, my legs do not
absorb color. My face absorbs it so much, so I want one pass on my face, and I want like fourteen passes on my legs. My like my lower leg shin area for some reason does not collect tan. So you could just be specific and you get to have your labia in someone's face as they get right between your legs and tell you to relax. So that's also a plus thing.
And it's a guy.
I don't like a machine just to look at me nude. I want to see, yes, a man. So I called and I go hey, And whenever I'm there, it's always like a gay man working very gay man, well that feels better, or a woman. And so I just called up and was like, do you guys do airbrush? And I assume they'd have a woman airbrush or like a very very gay man just maybe even that. I'm sorry, like it was any of it was like this. The guy answered, and he goes, what do you need this
for it? I go, I usually come to you guys, and I get the versus bud. He's like, no, no, no, you let's do airbrush for you. And I was like, let's like, is this you and the company like I got a girl who will do that? Or is this lets you? But I can't really ask that, and by the time I'm off the phone, I'm like, I think
I hung up and I'm with Chris. He's getting fitted for his tucks and I'm with my friend Stacy, who's fitting him, and I'm like, you, guys, I think I just agreed to have a man spray tand me and I get nude, nude nude, like I have a nude thong on, but that's just but everything else this person gets to just get up in and so I got there.
And that was right.
He was just a guy. He was totally asexual to me, and probably I was to him right, but it was a man and that was a little weird. And he kept telling me to relax. I was but naked, and my fingers would be a little too like Barbie like and they need to be.
It's and when I take photos too, when I'm doing photo sessions.
I always like my hand will be like clamped or like your your fingers are supposed to be loose, and it's so hard to remember to do that. It's so hard modeling.
But he comes to your hands if you got no underneath nothing, okay?
Good?
No?
He whted me clean like he's a fishing And then he came in and was rolling out the areas and like just getting right up next to my nipple like doesn't but wasn't looking at me sexually. Was leaving the door open a lot of times to leave, and I'm like, there's people walking by, like, Oh my Luckily, I'm a person who doesn't care about baked. I really I don't. I don't see myself sexually when I'm when I'm not
in the mood to be seen sexually. I don't think anyone else can sexualize me, and I honestly don't care if someone does. Really it's when I I really don't care. The only thing I care about is if it makes
other people uncomfortable. Like I like Brian would be in my room all the time during f Boy Island and we'd be writing stuff, and then I would be I would be still talking about a scene while I'm like changing behind a curtain, and sometimes I'd look in the miror and I'd be like, oh my god, Brian could just like see me naked. And then I'd be like, I don't care if he does, because I look at him like a brother, and not that I want to see my brother naked, but I don't want him to.
I don't ever want people to people. Sometimes I think think that I like when people have to like fit, you have to deal with my sexuality, and like I'm just gonna rub it in your face like that. But I don't like.
That Brian for f yi, she's telling you.
Why Yeah, if you ever see me nack naked, it's not because I'm like I can't wait for Brian to catch a glimpse. Like it's never intentional, it's and I see my You still just don't care. I know it's not that I don't care. I care about other people's experience, but I personally, you don't care if anybody sees you. If someone tells me they jerked off to me or they were turned on by me, it does not matter.
It doesn't impact me. I wish I had that feeling about wait, wait, he don't want to when people don't want to fuck me, That's what I'm.
Okay, what do you feel when people say I did that?
I just kind of go like, I mean, people don't say that, but when someone makes a gross comment. I was just telling Chris this the other day because he was watching a meet and greet and there was this disgusting guy at the meet and greet that just got too close and put his hand on my waist too hard and like kind of pulled me too tight. And of course that man's phone wasn't working. I swear to God, nine out of ten times that a phone doesn't work. It's a phone that belongs to a stinky sweat, Like
not even stinky. You can stink and be near me. I won't care. Just like a really lecherous person is touching me, no, like they just he want was to like show that he owns me, and and they're it's not even like if they were just to say, like I'm a track to do your beautiful girl, like I want you to know that I think you're hot. That's okay to me. It's when they think when they're trying to fuck me.
That's when it's gross.
When they think like it's like I think you're beautiful and I never stayned a chance, and you just need to know that, Like that's so nice. I don't care if it's a straight man that says that to me, I will always be like thank you. You know. It's when they try to this guy holding me is trying to let me know with body language, like it's just our little secret that this guy's into me. If he just says it out right, Matt can hear a Matt's taking pictures, Chris is there, he can hear it. Then
people are accountable. Whereas if they're just doing a little grab or something where it's like if you want it, you can get it, like that kind of thing. That's disgust me. And then they do the thing where they just grat but that that also doesn't it's gross, and it happens still we go to and then I like, get the hell out of my face drops. I want everyone in line to see that I hate that guy. I don't say anyth to him because it's not working.
There's an interesting human compulsion to point out when someone when they when you think someone's hot, like you ever just like watching a television show when someone's hot, and then you have to say it like.
This, why is that? Why do you happen?
But it happens all the time, happens to me, or it's just like I feel like I have to say.
Does Ali care? Or do you say it about girls and guys? Does Ali care if you say it about a girl?
Like what I feel like? Sometimes she can tell when I think someone's hot on TV and we're watching it, and then she'll point it out.
Yes, because the pillow on your lap raises.
Yeah, it just starts going up.
Oh my god, NICKI or last night your dad said something about Vanna White on Wheel of Fortune. I was like, are you serious, He's going, boy, she still looks good.
I'm like, oh, that's a rude thing to say, because that is like something you could achieve.
Well, I'm just like, well, yeah, she's very wealthy and all she does is work.
On letters and the rest of the day she can do pilates. I'm like, you've got to go to the bins. You gotta go, you gotta jump. What do you do about you as hell? No, you are, I agree, And her job is to look hot. Your job is not job.
She makes a lot of money.
Look you inspired my joke that I have where when guys say someone's hot, that's just clearly hot. Like I remember Tim Convey, Chris's brother, one time years ago. This is long before he was married, and I'm sure he does not feel this way about this woman anymore now
that he's married. But I remember him being like, man, I'm a j lo guy, and I was like interesting, And I remember it's the first time I kind of like made fun of him to his face, like just I was just really not having it, And I remember he was laughing so hard about it because I was like it's not interesting, Tim, That's like I got it from you though, Like cool Jay cool, Yeah, oh yeah, Katie Couric, you're really into her.
She gotta make a yeah.
But you're right, Brian. People need to say when people are tall, when people are extremely good looking, because I realized that when I was partners with Club Subchenko on Dancing the Stars. He's so hot, you have to say something, and also to him or just yeah, people just say it to him. They just go god, damn it, Like it's just want to.
Know the psychology behind that? Why do you feel like you have to?
Like?
Its just sometimes you see someone who's really hot, like if you have a waiter or something who's super hot, like and you're just getting served, Like there's this you have to like resist the temptation to point out the fact that they're hot.
Why I think we're we're resisting that urge with bad things too, but we know bad things. No one wants to hear that to their face, so I think oftentimes we let the good things out more like no one's gonna go Jesus, you're ugly, you know. I think it's being pretty is a nice thing to say to people, So I think we We probably verbalize it more, but we think both extremes.
Maybe I think people think I have really good taste, Like I'm saying he's hot and that's my taste.
Like don't I have good taste?
Right? Like some it has something they're attractive to, they can set it. Well, this gets us onto Actually it kind of sets us up perfectly for what I want to talk about, which is the Joekoy monologue at the book blow Oh yeah, and it's about taste. It's we're gonna get to it. But taste is a big factor. And what I think went wrong with that monologue. Okay, and I think that you can pride yourself on good taste.
Some people do have good taste. And when I point out if someone's good looking, I do want them to be like, oh, well, she's not just saying like I do have. I have an ego about my level of taste, which is not correct. It's just my dumb ego saying that. Which I am reading this book letting Go, and I just got to a chapter about pride, and pride apparently is one of the easiest things to let go of.
But you should not have pride in anything, is what this guy argues, pride is the number one way to think you're better than someone, to think you deserve more, and it's the number one way to be let down and to have an ego about things. If you just are, if you just are like I'm grateful that my family as well to do, instead of like I'm proud of my lineage, it's doesn't It doesn't mean you did anything right. This guy pretty much is the same Sam harrisy like,
you didn't do anything being born into this family. Your brain was not your choice. You got lucky. You don't get to be proud of your brain. You can be grateful for your intelligence, you don't get to be proud of it like you did something, because that's actually a really selfish thing to be. But then we all seek people like all I want to you know, you hear celebrities all the time. I just want to make my
parents proud, like all I want. If you guys suddenly weren't proud of me and we're just like, I'm just grateful she's talented. I don't know how i'd stomach that, but we'll unpack it later. Right after this, All right, let's talk about the golden globes.
Joekoi did you watch it?
Mom?
Yeah?
And Brian you watched it? Noah, you watched it. This we're giving a late take because it's now Wednesday, right, He's already been seen and about not giving a shit. Good for him, Yeah, I guess I'll start with that. I liked his response to it of saying like, yeah, I'm not gonna lie.
It really hurts.
I will say that, Mike, I have endless questions for the behind the scenes of how.
This all went down and who is writing for him or what well.
I have some answers in that way that I'm not going to exactly share, but what I will share is that I desperately want to know. Did he go to the after party? What was it like backstage after the monologue? Throughout the show after he threw the writers under the
bus whiz there? Did the writers come up to him like they probably did, because writers are professional and they have to, Like as soon as you came on stage, they flank you and go, Okay, here's the next bit what we're gonna do, and they go over everything after he's just on them under the bus. I think that would be an amazing thing to hear about. And I also want to know if he was able to sleep that night and if he got any sleep, how much was it when he woke up in the morning and
woke up and opened his eyes. Was did he cry? Was there anyone there to support him emotionally?
Like?
What was his self care in being bludgeoned by at every angle for literally everything he said? Yeah, there was no There was no even point of like, I mean, there was a little bit of like, well he just got this gig and this is a stuffy room. Some people came to his defense, but I think by and large it was a onslaught of negativity that I don't know that I would have been able to handle Brian anything to say about those points.
That's sucking it. I mean, I you don't get credit. It sucks that you don't get credit for the effort or the amount of time that you had to put in any effort to do something. No, people just look at the final product and they judge it regardless of whether it took you one day to do or it took you one year to do. It's like what I write a script. If I submit a script to somebody, sometimes it takes me two weeks to write a script. Sometimes I'm working on a script for six to eight months.
The person reading the script doesn't know or care about how They're just reading a script and they're going to judge it next to another script that maybe someone worked ten years on. And so it's the same with a monologue. It's like it doesn't matter how long it took. It just is what it is and it's being presented. And I feel bad as a comedian for Joe Coy because I think the audience was not fair to him, just
as fellow performers. The audience was filled, yes, with fellow performers who were watching this guy try his best and didn't give him fucking anything. Just give this guy a break. They seemed so uptight, better than.
They wanted to be. They wanted to judge him and look down.
On it because they all think they're better than him. Michael Chase said it's so great, perfectly, he said, no one in Hollywood respects comedians. They haven't been up for Oscars, there's no Oscar for Best Comedy. That like, Hollywood doesn't respect comedians. They looked at him as listens. And by the way, here's the other problem. Is not only that are these smug people who are all so self important and have been told for you know, and it's now
awards season. They're all nominated. They think they're the most important people on the planet. They're a gift to society that they have done some role that they didn't right, that they just were good at because they haven't.
They look.
Like I'm sorry, but Kieran Kiernan Colkin amazing as Roman as my favorite character, one of my favorite characters on my favorite TV show of all time, Succession. He is Roman. There's no acting. He gets up and gives a look and it is Roman. It's there's obviously talent and what he does like he brings other things to that character, but it's not I've been saying this for ever. Acting is not that big of a deal. I don't think any of that. I don't even think being a comic
is that big of a deal. It's all, we're not saving the world, but these these events make it seem as though we are. So it's all just we all know this.
It's just pomp.
And really you get an insight into how someone is treated on the red carpet too, because you see, like I was watching an interview with Timothy Shalomey who was coming out, and the interviewer was just sucking his dick for five minutes, just saying, like, you have the best fashion.
What are you wearing right now?
Did you get Kylie's? Yeah?
And then Kylie came out and said, excuse me, but you can. Can you just imagine twenty four to seven, your entire life, you're just getting your dick sucked left and right by every single person that comes from the valet to your friends, to your family.
Just you could not be a normal person. These people should not be normal. They should be smug assholes like they are. There is no other way in which they would turn out. We would all be this way. I think there's varying degrees. I mean, I don't know that if I would have been just Actors are already so self important because they're not usually that creative of people. They are within what they work, you know, for what
they do, their creative, but they're not writing stuff. They're just kind of dull, Like I just want an interview with this actor who everyone is just fucking jizzing over. Not going to say who it was, but he's so not interesting the interviewer was carrying the whole interview. It was like, could you say one funny thing, one thing that makes you have any riz? Right? I heard and it was like, no, he's just hot and he's good in this role. We like his character.
What I say though, you know how you know how uh boring think about the hottest person in your school or the hottest person.
You know, how boring are they?
And now you take that hot person and you make them a movie star. That's constantly like those people are those hot people that you thought were boring from your high school.
They're the same hot.
Yes, it's it's it's so the only person I mean, Jennifer Lawrence I think stole the show. I would love her to host next year. Did you see when the camera shots on her. So they were announcing, you know, they're like up for best Actress for a comedy movie or whatever, and they're you know, Jennifer Lawrence for No Hard Feelings, and the camera goes to her and she just mouths, she mouths it. We don't see her saying. She goes, If I don't win, I'm leaving, and it's
just this perfect delivery. I mean, she's hilarious already, She's had so many moments got on camera where she's just candidly, so funny, And this was obviously a planned moment with her personally, not within the show, but that was the greatest comedy moment of the show. I didn't see the whole show, but I want to say that you're right about no one in the room respected him. It was so it was dog shit what they did to him.
They gave him nothing. As soon as as soon as they all looked at Taylor Swift and she wasn't laughing along, no one was going to laugh. As soon as they see one person offended, everyone's offended. It's like when you make a joke at a comedy club and you make a joke about black people and everyone looks at the table of black people. Are they laughing? And you know, and then the comedian says, everyone's looking at the table
of black people. It's like that happened. But it's like I would say, the lit miss for that room was probably Taylor Swift. Everyone was kind of yea, what is she gonna laugh at? And that dictates what we can laugh at. But what Joekoy did not do, which I think Mike Lawrence had this point in a tweet I
posted or in an Instagram post I posted yesterday. Mike Lawrence is a writer, and he actually wrote one of the best jokes I ever did for the roast, which I he last minute came into my trailer and was like, no one will do this joke. And it was the one with Ann Colter about where I said the the the only man who will be happy is the Mexican who digs your something about I forget what it.
Was, but I didn't.
I didn't like the joke because it did Why did it have to be a Mexican digging her grave? I just thought that was inherently racist. But it's one of the jokes that's quoted back to me the most. And Mike Lawrence wrote that joke, and it's a great joke, but he said uh yesterday on Instagram and I'm paraphrasing, but it was something of like the he gave no DJOKOI gave no context for the situation. He didn't He didn't let us know who he was. He didn't let us know what.
He was doing. Yeah, who knew who it was?
Just all no one did. But here's here's what I will say. I had a similar thing happened to me this weekend. I was presenting at the Creative Arts. I means, and when you get booked on the gig, you get a sense of confidence in yourself, almost like what we're talking about, where you think, because these people have booked me, clearly I'm well known, you know, like you almost get a sense that like everyone must know. And I obviously
don't think that way. I think my listeners know. I don't think I'm hot shit, But there's little moments where you just you just don't be worth I didn't even think. It wasn't like I was thinking I was or wasn't. I just went with what I assumed, which is like I got the gig, therefore people will know who Nicki Glazer is.
This is an industry function.
And I went out and I didn't contextualize my position in the show what I would have done differently in hindsight, which Brian and I talked about this joke prior, and we just didn't nail it. So I kind of had my own little bomb moment this week.
I wouldn't say it was a.
Bomb, but it was like no one would be like, wow, she killed it, but I'm so grateful it happened on a smaller screen because I learned my lesson. I will never ever do what I did this week and again, which is not giving myself enough time to work on it. And I also learned that no matter what how big you think you are or how much you think everyone knows, you always contextualize. So jokes need context What award am I presenting? Don't don't think the audience is gonna remember?
And next up for Outstanding Comedy Special, here's podcaster Nicki Glazer. First of all, don't introduce me as a podcaster. No one knows. That doesn't say comedians, anyone. You need to contextualize.
She's gonna be anybody because I'm talking for.
Just in this beautiful dress. Yes it doesn't mean funny.
Podcast, so you know, just like yeah it.
Well, let me tell you how that happened, because they asked me. My manager wrote me and said, do you want them to how do you want to be? Not introduced? It was like, uh, maybe he said introduced, but how I took it was like what my Chiron would say. And I was like, oh, put Nicky Glazer podcast, Let's get it. On the Chiron. Yeah, I mean sure, but I would not have chosen to be introduced to this whole crowd as the host of the Nicki Glazer podcast.
That means literally nothing to them in terms of context. It should have been comedian Nikki Glazer.
That's it.
So I walk out. That's pretty fun.
There's a huge long ramp to walk down. In my heels, I can't walk. So from the time they say the category and my name, there's another seven seconds, which is eternity and TV of clapping for me to get to the microphone, and I just started without any context. I didn't say the name of the award.
Again.
I didn't say I'm I didn't say something like it feels good to present this word because I'm a comedian, like something to be like, Hi, I know you don't know who I am, and if you do, great, but let's assume you don't. So that stuff I learned, but I really was able to recover from at first. It's stung to not do as great as you want to do, but I'm kind of used to doing these ORG shows and the audiences are just never good and I don't care.
It's it's I mean, I'm I'm.
Used to things working on TV at home, but I don't even know that this would work at home is my problem. But in the room, it just didn't. I didn't kill it, and it felt awful. When I walked up stage, I was like, I just want to leave. I don't want to go to the after party. Like I had all those thoughts that I'm thinking about for DJOKOI, but it wasn't live on TV with everyone tweeting this is gonna be on FXX this Saturday at like eleven o'clock at night, Like no one's gonna see it, and
if they do, please tweet that I bombed. I don't care because I learned my lesson. Like I stayed in this zone of like why did I do that?
Why did oh?
I could have worked harder. I had the script before I decided to start working out.
Why did it?
Like I could have gone all these regrets, but instead I was just like, there was no world in which I was gonna do any of that. I didn't do it. It didn't happen. Next time, I'll kill it, and the next time I would have fucked up too had I not had this happen. I'm glad that I learned a lesson. This is you just got to learn lessons and that's okay, And I should have learned this one. I wish I would have thought more, but like you can't. You can't
help you yourself if you don't think of something. Oh God, you know when you go I totally didn't even think of that. Like sometimes Dad gets mad at you because you can't remember something.
Julie, we went.
There last week and I go, why are you mad at her for? Do you think she chose to forget that? I don't even know how you do that. I don't even know how that's possible. She doesn't mean to forget it. Will you ease up? But it's like, it's weird to be mad at yourself about something that you couldn't have changed. And literally you can't change anything because there's no free will. But I think that Jokoy should have contextualize it. I'm not gonna let him off the hook, though.
Is my get a cardinal sin? Also?
I mean, as bad as your bombing, you can't start telling the audience you're bombing.
Don't ever do that.
Don't be like I'm bombing everybody, And then obviously don't throw your writers under the bus.
And he does that too.
You know, all the late night talk shows like Seth Myers will say well, I didn't write that joke, or he'll throw that out.
I don't think they'll say I didn't write that joke. They'll go, well, that one's a clunker and it's inferred that mes.
No, he'll say so and so wrote that.
Here's the difference. The context of a late night show is that there are writers, and those writers are constantly churning out stuff. There is not a Most people think Joe Coy wrote this himself and that is the way it's supposed to be presented, and you're not supposed to break that fourth wall. You can, but and I understand what made him do it. I get it. I don't know that I would have done differently in his position. I wouldn't have because Joe Cooy is Jokoy, and if
I were Joekoi would have done the same thing. But my point is I saw that as not as extreme but a Kramer type moment of your bombing. You don't know what to do. There is a surge of anger when you are bombing, and also when you're bombing and you're like fuck you guys like he had to fuck you in him because they were they wore pieces of ship, not giving because when he the first joke that bombed, they could have been nicer. It wasn't like he was doing really bad. Yeah, you know, my t's falling out
all my thanks mom. You could just say, I'm just mom. I just want you to see my troop and I as long as your check out the YouTube, guys, go to the YouTube. But I I could see myself when I'm bombing, Like, there's this I can't describe it. You've had it before, you know, when you just get like a rage, like just in every rate. No, it's like it's almost it's like the Dane Cook joke where you trip on something and you get.
Mad and still left that thing out.
But it's like you're just in laying desperate.
So he had a range to the audience and you are absolutely to blame, anything else to blame. And Dad is really good at this and I have I've almost I get it from down no no, no dead.
He said, what are you guys going to talk about? He said, probably you.
I know.
I love When you said that, I was like, whoa, she's not holding back. Just don't listen.
Yeah, just don't listen. Yeah, just kidding, but no, I mean in our family, we're quick to go like, well I would have done that, but you didn't do this.
But you didn't do this.
But like it's always worth it's not my fault. Why could I have done better if something else would have been growing, which is true a lot of times. I mean, he could blame his writers.
He didn't have to leave his big shoes laying there.
Yes, in my pathway, yes, but it's it isn't their fault, the writers. I don't care how bad these writers were. If they were bad, I don't think they were. But if they were, I think what I think happened is that he chose bad jokes.
Well, I listened to it today. I didn't think it was that bad. The Booby's joke.
That was bad, the one of the worst jokes. It was really bad life. So it bombed. But I know where that joke came from. I don't think it was I think a woman could have even written that joke. I don't think that was It was a sexist joke.
It was dumb, but it wasn't Like I'm not mad about it, like why would they say Oppenheimer's based on this novel and Barbie's just based on a doll with boobies. I'm mad that it's bad. You know, it's not about you know, it's when Jerry Seinfeldt says, I'm not mad about that he's pretending he's Jewish. I'm not offended as a Jewish person. I'm offended as a comedian. I'm offended as a comedian that that joke got through because it's
bad and boobies is the worst word. And I get I think boobies was originally written in the joke to be funny, to be like boobies, like it's it's it is being used, not because that was just the word that they wanted for breast. It's being used comedically. It was supposed to infantilize that portion of the joke, like this is about oppenheimer four hundred and seventy one page book, and this is about a doll with boobies. But he didn't deliver it right right to be like as silly
as it was supposed to be. Do you agree, Brian that boobies was even though it's the worst word I've ever heard use it a joke. It was used as a community word.
They chose that, well, yeah, I think they chose it because they thought that would be the funniest word to say there. But in terms of just like picking the wrong jokes or it all doesn't matter. I think if you just went up there, recognized internally that he was bombing, and then just delivered his jokes with a smile on his face and walked off the stage, probably no one
will be talking about this except for the Taylor Swift moment. No, it would just be the Taylor Swift because everyone talks about whenever you reference Taylor Swift, even if she's not there,
there's going to be articles about it. But besides that joke, if he just this happens in LA constantly when you're for me anyway, For if you're not a famous comedian where everybody knows who you are, if you're just doing shows in LA where there's industry in the audience, it happens constantly where you just go up there and do your material to silence and I early on and moving
to LA. When that happens, you can't do what you used to do in New York and yell at the audience and be like, what the folk's happening you guys.
In New York? That works in New York.
If you yell at the audience and try to get in on, they'll start laughing. They'll be like, oh, okay, this guy coroll with us. In LA it's the exact opposite. The more you yell at them, the quieter they get. They get so quiet, it's like quieter than before they were even in the room. That's how quiet they get.
Wow, it's like John Criss, Yes, direct.
So you just stand up there and you deliver your act like you're on camera on television and they don't exist, and you get off stage, and then what happens is the craziest thing. You get off stage and someone will come up to you and go, that was fucking awesome. You were really funny, And I was like, you didn't laugh one time the entire show.
Yeah, Well, here's the deal. You are what you tell people you are. Hollywood's such bullshit. If you act as if they fall for it, it's as soon as he's man, these jokes are going. As soon as he acknowledged that he was not doing well, it was over because people then knew. Then they knew. I'm even nervous about saying that I didn't do well with the spread of art Semans because I don't think you wouldn't. I don't think you would fucking notice if I didn't say that. But
now you're gonna watch it with this lens. This is what I talk about with with when you watch YouTube videos and the comment pops up telling you how to feel about it, it does change how you perceive things. Yeah, so if he wouldn't have commented on it, we wouldn't know. But I would know. Oh my god, I would know because I'm a comedian. But I don't think most people would have this reaction. I do want to talk about the Taylor Swift joke.
I didn't even hear that one.
I'll tell you about it.
Okay, Yeah, we'll talk about that when we get back.
Oh yeah, that's great. All right, we're back.
Okay, can you queue up the Taylor Swift joke?
So mom, jokoys, he's already done the monologue, and then, oh, I just want to say one thing while she's kueing this up. One of my favorite parts of the Golden Globes was at the very end. I just like these human moments where people's like the real thing shows through. Joko is saying good night and he's like, good night everyone, get home safe whatever, and then and then the camera just stays on him too long and he just just drop his face drops, you know, like you're getting off a zoom.
Call before are you press you think you're off?
Yes, And you can just see him walk off stage like with a face. There was a moment of that, and I really felt for him because we've I had the same thing happened to me the other night when I was not my first joke didn't do well, my second joke didn't do well, and Brian my spirit left
my body. It was hovering above me. It was in the room and it was like I was just reading the prompter at that point because I'm like, you are bombing in front of John Mulaney, who you're about to present an award to, like he is your favorite comedian, he's also like a peer, like this is Olivia Munn sitting there. It's a room of like every crew person I've ever worked on any show with in my life.
But after the show, I will say everyone was.
Like, you were horried. I think if you just backed that.
Up because.
Well, John said I was funny, and I go to then like we got off stage, she was like, you were great. I go, that was horrible. I was like, that was not what I was like. But you he didn't say anything. It was fine, You're not really not gonn nose And there the jokes are funny. The audience just didn't like them. And then I think I lost, like even I just had like you have that moment of like, oh no, I'm bombing.
It's so bad on TV. People are going to watch that. It's going to be sweetened. No one would notice if you didn't mention it, no one would even remember it. But here's the secret in the room. Just remember this. You were, by definition, in a room full of narcissists who do not give a ship about anyone else and what anyone's doing except themselves. So it's like doubly true as a regular audience to them that they do not give a ship.
It was.
I will say that the creative arts, I means it's mostly like behind the scenes people. It's editors, it's sound technicians, it's producers, it's directors, it's and it was unscripted. So I was asking because I was thinking maybe of referencing some big names in the room during my thing, so I go I wrote to the woman who was my writer. I said, uh, who are some big names that are going to be there? And she was like, well, cast
off selling Sunset, vander Pomp, everyone from vander Pomp. And she goes and don't tell anyone.
This but Jeff Brost.
But he's leaving before you even go up, so I don't think you're gonna get a chance to see him. I was like, what are we Jeff thru Jeff Ropes did open the show. He's of a smaller man than I thought he would be. He was looked like he was on top of a wedding cake. He was tiny man. Christy and I were both like what we were front row and we were like, he is little, little and he's the size of it. These those teky churches must be very tiny. He must have a tinier version because
he doesn't look it would be towering. Regular one would be towering.
Over this man. You know that the creative team made those small yes for him. Well there's one.
There's one part of my favorite movie, pop Star where we watched this the other night. Remember they're going through his list of people working for him, and he has a perspective man, and they're like, what's that? And that's like that's a man that's stands that shorter guy that stands next to him in photos so that he looks a perspective shifter or something like that. Okay, so the Taylor Swift moment, Joe cooy, I can't. I haven't watched
this yet. I haven't heard it or seene and I've just seen pictures.
I can't.
I can't this clip that he can't help. But I think it's the funniest moment.
Oh, it's the best part. Brian.
I actually did hear it, and I laughed so hard.
Okay, let's listen to everyone.
As you know, we came on after a football doubleheader. The big difference between the Golden Globes and the NFL. On the Golden Globes, we have fewer camera shots of Taylor Swift. I swear, it's just.
Where to go. Take me no laugh and takes this Okay.
I had to close my eyes. I had to close my eyes.
Why why do you close your eyes? I don't like her reaction now, why did.
She even react to that?
That's not that terrible, agreed, But the time that he's a calm like I've done that before, because you're reading a prompter and you don't know it's next, and so you think it's a different word, and so you're like camaraderie and you're like calm rah. And so that's what happened. That's what made the joke bomb. If he would deliver joke's not good to begin with. That is no shade. I've written one thousand horrible jokes in my life, even when I'm trying my best. It's no shade. I really
don't mean anything by that. It's not a good joke. But I will say it is a good joke for Taylor Swift because there it is victimless. It is not mean to her. It is not saying anything mean about her, even slightly. So the idea that she could be offended by this offends me.
Oh, I see as a Swiftie, So you don't want to look at here.
She didn't really react.
She just god I believe, and I choose to believe that Taylor Swift just didn't know it was about her or heard her name, didn't understand, maybe just assumed it was offensive when it wasn't. But there is no way she was actually offended by that, and if she was, we have a problem.
I don't think she even reacted. She just took a drink of her drink.
Here's what Chris thinks, and I think it's a good idea. Chris thinks that she had planned. She's Taylor Swift and she's at the Golden Globes. There's a camera in her face. She knows there's going to be a joke made about her.
She probably thought it would be a better joke, a little more scathing of a joke, and she had planned to have this perfect sip response, because that is a great response to a shitty joke about you, to a joke that's making fun of all the men you've dated, making fun of the fact that you're what could what else could.
You make fun of?
I don't even know. They usually just come after her first. She writes songs about her ex's, so that's a perfect sip of like mm hm. So I think Chris thinks she just planned to do that, no matter what, that was going to be her move when a joke was made about her. Yeah, but I think that she was I definitely don't think she was offended. And if she is acting offended, someone needs to tell someone in her campan needs to have a conversation.
I don't think she's gonna be you don't think so. No, I think she was just taking just like Chris said, she was going to do that regardless.
Because if you're Taylor Swift, though, and you accidentally made it look like you're offended, do you double down and go, hey, I want to say I wasn't offended. I just planned a sip and the sip was at the wrong place. Or do you double down and just act like you're offended so that you don't look like you did. Yeah, Like he's getting he's getting so much heat for this, this this jab So why would if I were Taylor Swift, which I'm not. And also she's way busy and probably
just give a fuck. I am just looking for her to say, Joe Koid's all good, Like I didn't even understand that it was a miscommunication.
She's one hundred percent aware.
Oh this is huge, this is really Yes, she knows she I think I think she knows. I hope to god she's not offended by that joke, because as much as I love her and as much as I never want anything mean to be said about her. You you, there's no one who's exempt from having a joke written about them. You aren't Mohammed who people can't draw or whatever, like this isn't like you aren't, do you know what
I'm saying? Like, that's the only thing that I can think of, like we don't make jokes because we're all scared or yeah, is fodder.
I think that My theory is that she didn't even hear the joke, and because her name's not mentioned until the last word, she probably wasn't even listening to Joe, just like the rest of the audience wasn't.
Why would she be.
She's sitting there chatting with Selena Gomez or whoever was next to her, and then she just hurs Taylor Swift and she takes a sip. I bet you she was expecting a joke to come after that.
Yeah, honestly, because.
Taylor Swift.
She's like, oh, I have said jokes. I have butchered jokes because I'm reading them from a prompter and I forget what they are and I forget the inflection, and you're just kind of reading the next word.
A million times.
Yeah, but that joke he it was not already good and it was completely butchered. The audience didn't. You're supposed to talk and joke like that joke is like, well, this is a little bit different than the NFL because the NFL has less or the NFL has more camera shots or the only difference between us in the NFL is that the Golden Globes have less camera shots of Taylor Swift. That's how you deliver that joke. It's like, but he was like, but the less camera shots of Tailor Swift, he blew.
It didn't have a rhythm joke anyway.
I've done it a million times, especially on live TV, when you when you're already like having to you know, blot off your flop sweat from the monologue you just did. Like this is mid show. He's doing this joke, so he is like probably filled with anxiety at this moment and not even thinking about what he's saying. And yeah, but it's.
It's is a very successful comedian, so it's punching up. I I have bombed much worse than him, and I'm not successful and have no fans at all, So I feel like making fun of Joe Coy. They're saying camera is in my wheelhouse because he'll recover. He's fine, it's gonna take a month.
Yes, he'll say that all the time. He'll use that reference.
I don't think he will because no one's talking about this. You're the only one.
I want to go.
Let's listen one more time. Yeah, everyone listened for car.
As you know, we came on after a football double header. The big difference between the Golden Globes and the NFL. On the Golden Globes, we have fewer camera shots of Taylor's swip.
Can you keep playing?
I want to tell what the audience's reaction was before Taylor reacted.
We have fewer camera shots of Taylor swift. I swear the laugh.
I mean even the AI itself actually did laugh at the joke normal and then they saw Taylor and then they're like, oh, we gotta shut up now.
Ye And she probably didn't even know she was thinking about my salad.
There's no like tomatoes.
They were just coming right, they were just coming right back from commercial. They probably didn't even know it was live again, like it's.
In an award show.
Especially the creative Arts Emmys or like you know how the uh, what's the other one where everyone gets drunk at what's that one.
Called Golden the Golden Globes, that's the one.
It's not like everyone's sitting there as a perfect audience member waiting for the comedian to do their monologue. It's like kind of like undersold and confusing, and the whole thing takes four fucking hours and most of the time you're just hoping to talk to the person at your table. The person on stage is like not even of consequence.
No, no, one's listening. No, No, it's really it becomes very tedious.
It wears off very quickly.
But yeah, everyone's just trying to get a selfie where they're they're trying to take selfies with the person next to them, but they're trying to get tailor shifts in the background of it. That's what I think is main the main goal.
Talk about care in that room camera.
Co final thought, big announcement, Noah is pregnant. Yes, Can's out of the man. I hope you. I hope everyone's stayed for the final thought. Noah has been pregnant. We've been hiding it. How pregnant are.
We been hiding it. Yeah, I'm doing a great job of hiding it.
I at this point, I'm twenty four weeks out of forty. What does that because they don't Okay, it's like five months, four and a half months. I'm in my fifth I'm in my fifth era.
So you're in your fifth.
Era, yes, the fifth month era? What is it?
Ok?
So your do when end of April? That's the mother that is right away?
So soon?
Yeah? What is what is your feeling?
Like?
Do you Oh, this is the thing I wanted to ask you about because you mentioned it on girls Chat. When you tell men you're pregnant, they get like horny. They they just buckle at the knees. I love it. I don't know what it is.
They love it.
Like where have you experienced this? Like who finds out and like has had this kind of response?
I want to know.
Ever, so women are also very supportive and like everyone's like super excited and happy to hear about it. And I guess like most of my social interactions of the day are at.
My jiu jitsu school.
And when you tell men that you're pregnant, I don't know what takes over them, but something happens. They just get like weak in the knees and they're so excited and happy and start asking you all these questions and I'm just like, whoa wait. Is there a horniness to it?
Though?
I think that's what I think. I think it's like it's innocent. I don't know what it is about it, but it's like, Wow, they're taking such an interest in me, and it's and I don't feel is it because they know that you've had sex and they're thinking about sex kind of and they're thinking of like a man coming in you, and they're just like kind of fired up.
I get. I think that's subconscious.
I always want to run away when I start feeling that my dude is like sexually attracted to me. I think I really relate to you in that way. But I didn't feel any of that. It was just kind of like, Wow, they're so like impressed with me. And then and then when I tell them that I'm forty, then it's like, oh that love you know who loves that?
Women? Yeah? Women, they want to hear all we do.
Yes, our whole girls chat is just sharing old women who are probably well now that you're old. Like, but women like we just love it. Everyone loves a woman over here. You know who doesn't love it though it gives us to doesn't love it? Doc medical industry because I wish I had a brain to write comedy, because there's so much comedy in what I've gone through the process. Like, first of all, just because I'm forty, I'm high risk. There's like all this like language, like a negative language around.
It, anxiety inducing, cheriatric.
Okay, so I took I think they changed.
No, I had so.
At a certain point, you draw blood to take a genetics test, and in the form that I filled out, I had to check off the boxes that said, uh, first trimester geriatric pregnancy. Yeah, And I told the nurse, I was like, geriatric. Really, yeah, that's that's what they call it changing. I think over like thirty seven or
something that they are changing. Yeah, oh bitch. And then if you want to take maternity leave and they're changing and you go through that whole process, it's not called well you just got out.
No, we can't hear you. I can't hear You're gone.
Nope, I can hear you. I can't hear Noah, though, man, this is her time to shine. This was Noahs big moment. This is the pregnancy announcement.
This is what we do.
I'm sorry, going to start for the medical community.
She was about to talk about the medical community. It's they shut her down.
Yeah, who's stepping in?
Yeah, someone should get research this. There's something going on here. Yeah, she was about So what I can infer is that. I mean, I guess we'll just have to hear about it on the next episode. But I'm very excited for my pres so exciting. I just want to know, though you were we really can't hear you.
I want to know more Arizona baby coming.
I don't know we're I don't know why not working, but yeah, yeah, I will just say, because Noah can't speak from my perspective, if I was five months pregnant, this is when I would start going like I have to push this thing out, Like I.
Can't even believe I even talk about that, but it has to happen.
I know that it's worth, not worth.
I don't think about that, you do.
I know That's what I've learned from pregnant women. I'm just like, yeah, wait, have you started thinking about like your vagina hole opening that much? And they're just like no, like Lauren never even gives it much thought, but I would be. I would just be scared of the pain all that stuff.
I would know as much strong.
I would also look around to me, like, every single person that's ever been born has had a woman on the other side of this that has done this. So for every person, there's a person that's been pregnant. Yeah, but that's painful in its own way too, because you don't get to say you pushed it out, and women don't respect you as much or something. I think that's just what I've gleaned is that when people say I had to see section women natural birth, go like, oh, not as good as me.
Recovery is tough.
Oh yeah, you're you've just been like cut open and then now you have a newborn also and you're just back out in the streets right away.
Just it's not a good way to go.
You were cursed with painful childbirth because you betrayed Adams.
In the garden of Eden, what really wonder The women saw an apple.
This is an apple thing. Actually, I realized the woman saw an apple. The snake said you gotta take the fruit from the tree. And the woman went and Adam said, I'm not going to take it. I'm a smart, respectable man. And then Eden or Eve was like, well, I'm a dumb woman, I guess, and then she grabbed the apple. And then God said, I curse you with painful childbirth.
That's what it says in the Bible.
Oh my god, I'm going to get I guess it's all true. Then, Oh my god, because it's true.
I can't, speaking of Jesus, I can't get an an uber in this town without being prostolytized.
Oh yeah, it's happening.
Every single person. That What is it with Uber drivers and being a Christian and wanting to listen to Christian radio? Which I can understand maybe being a Christian, maybe I cannot understand thinking that music is what you should be listening to. Yeah, Joy ninety seven or whatever it is.
I mean, do we have to listen to that? I hired you as an uber?
Do I have?
I say yes, because.
You can request to turn off for music or to change it. But man, I'm sorry.
Man. The other day I couldn't hold back. This guy picked us up in an Uber. I was driving us home, me and Chris, and he was talking about.
How oh.
I was talking about the name of my tour and how I wanted to call it the Depression Eras and he's like, well, we're about to hit another depression, so that'll be perfect. And I go, oh really, and he was like, yeah, you got Like if I could, if I were you, I'd put all your money in this kind of bitcoin and whatever. It is. Like he was telling us about not your theoryum, but other things, and he's like, it's gonna crash. Did you listen to this podcast yet? Did you listen to this?
And we couldn't.
Both Chris and I could not glean what side of things he was on because he said, the banks want the big, the big, mean orange man out. We need to get the big the banks want.
The orange man out.
And I go and that's.
I did not know that.
I didn't know that. So I was like, Okay, well, this guy is kind of a cuckoo, but like, at least he's on maybe the right side of things. I can't really tell. But then he said something to the effect of what did he say that gave it away? And he goes, oh, that's you know. He just eventually said, that's why we gotta get we gotta get Trump in and I go, yeah, I go, I just want to be able to get an abortion though, oh no, sh Chris just look at me like are you really doing this?
And I go, yeah, what did he?
He said, Listen, you don't need to get an abortion because there's the there's the the pill that you could the morning after pill, and no Christians should have any problem with the morning after pill. And I go, well, how are we're driving through a bad neighborhood. I go, how are women in this neighborhood supposed to afford the morning after pill on the chance they might get pregnant by the guy that they maybe raped by last night when they don't have fifty dollars to spare? Where is that?
And he's like, well, we need to subsidize it. We need to have the morning after pill at schools. And I go, do you think that's gonna happen at any point?
Do you think?
I go?
And then that's when that's when I lost the thread. I couldn't really This guy was actually kind of smarter than me. He was Cucko's smart. He was like, you know, he's just he was. He was a smart guy. But like you know, there's lots of smart guys that want to vote for Trump for some reason. But he was
talking to me in a way I couldn't understand. But then that's when Chris, because he reads up on the stuff, and he schooled this guy on I can't even remember, but I was like so horny for it because he really went to bat for women with this guy and why that doesn't work, Why the morning after pill isn't going to be the right option, Why teaching abstinence and
schools and everything. And I can speak to these things, but he really he when we got out of the Uber, I was like, this guy thinks that and he Oh. He also called himself a best selling author, and he pointed out a book that was about driving Uber and obviously Prostolytiz.
Every Uber driver as a secret billionaire. That's that's what I've learned. Every Uber driver owns ten businesses. He's like, yeah, I just do this to meet people. That's every Uber driver says that.
That is it's it's it's in Saint Louis. Though it's really bad. I can't I don't, I can't avoid it. It's almost Chris is like, you should just get a driver because this is too much like we we get talked to about Jesus every time. But when we got out, the Uber driver was like, I didn't hate the guy. He was really a nice person. And I could just tell he thought I wasn't gonna tip him. Well, but you, yeah, twenty five percent whatever, the most was thirty twenty five.
I just I did it, and I you got to check what he rated you. I don't know that I can can you, well, you can check you. I don't like to look at that. It's not good and I don't know why it's not good. I am always i'd always tipped. Well, I've never once not tipped. Well, I think maybe once I didn't give a tip, but I didn't because I was I felt my life was threatened.
But that was I've never once tipped. Uh, so I should and if I The other day I spilled coffee in a guy's car, like just on the plastic part, and I told him about it. I said, I'm so sorry. I can go get some napkins. He was like, don't worry about it. So I always let someone know if I've stained something. If I eat food, I brush it off. When I get out, I leave the car as immaculate as I left. Not because of my score, but because I respect the person. So I don't want to look
at my score. It has nothing to do with how I know I behave in ubers.
So she doesn't want to look at her score.
I don't want to look at that thing. The last time I looked it wasn't good.
Oh. People go what and.
I go, I take thousands of ubers? You take five and you've been you know, like.
You've been good? All five?
Yes, all right, we gotta wrap. We'll be back tomorrow for a more show with my mom right after this, and don't be cut and come see me in Florida comes to Brian and Florida next weekend. The I think eighteenth and nineteenth, nineteenth and Troy nineteenth and twentieth, nineteenth and twentieth. Okay, thank you, Dobika and Dijit Dijits. Listen to the tomorrow jows.
It'll be just us in five minutes and we report it