The Nicky Gliser Podcast. Glaser, here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. It's the Nicky Glazer Podcast. I'm Nicky Glazer. I'm in Saint Louis. Welcome to a very special episode of the Nickey Glazer Podcast. It's an all sunglasses episode. Everyone's wearing sunglasses.
Yeah, cool as shit.
Yeah, it started slow. This wasn't a planned The podcast is delayed today because uh Noah and Brian both went out to their car to get the sunglasses to fit the theme that we came up with, medication.
It's almost like Halloween.
Yeah, yeah, it does feel like there's a different vibe. And with sunglasses on, I feel so protected. I feel so cool. I feel cool, like almost to the level of smoking a cigarette cool because of how how much it elevates your coolness instantly just visually. So I feel cool. And I also feel like protected and people like don't want to bother me, so I feel like a little bit intro like I can exist. It feels good, but it's weird to do when you're broadcasting. It's like, you're right.
Well's Jenny McCarthy does it because she just doesn't want people to look at her aging eyes and it's that is a good trick because that's the first thing that goes it's so smart.
Yeah, you look like but she looks cool. You look like John look like John Mulaney on uh on the seth Meyers during that interview where he wears sunglasses, and you're like, oh, oh.
Oh yeah, well yeah yeah, possibly hiding is Yeah, you look like you might be hiding a problem that you're dealing with because the eyes tell all, you know. Really, I was doing a bit. I'm doing a bit about that. Like older women. I used to think that things that are stylish for older women. I used to think are just like those older women are just stylish, but it's
really they're just doing things to conceal their age. Like I thought turtlenecks were just meant that you like read a lot of books like you were, just like Diane Keaton just looks smart because she wears turtle necks. But she's smart because she's covering up her neck, which is the part that people don't want to see anymore.
Nothing hides her a more than a coffin.
And I love that we're taking it back though, like mom jeans who are definitely started to hide the mom belly aloneeah.
And now they're bad.
Youth is like appropriating, which I love.
On the plane yesterday I saw like she was like, I don't know, seventeen years old wearing or let's say eighteen years old wearing mom jeans, Like really, what.
Is a mom jean anymore? Because I just was doing some dunhim shopping. I bought like so many jeans that are coming my way, and I just went crazy. Anya and I were just talking before the podcast about how we are shopping to make ourselves happier. It's your kick up today.
I was like, today's a day I need to buy a ton of shit that I'll regret, but it's gonna fill the deep void inside me in a big way, reminding me.
Of the Amy Schumer sketch called like new Body. And she goes to shop and Jesse Klein is working at this really high on boutique and she's like, let's buy some clothes for your new body. And she's like, I think my new body is going to be a size too. She's like, oh my god, that sounds amazing. I can't wait to see your new body, and so any like puts on a pair of jeans and it's just on her, like she can only fit like up to her ankle, like into these jeans, and she's Jesse Klein is like
they're amazing. It's so funny. But that's how I'm fine shopping. I've been like working out more so I'm like, oh my god, I've got to buy some clothes for my new body.
It's like vacation self. I'm always like, I'm going to read these four books on this week long vacation, and I don't crack one of them.
I brought two with me this weekend on the road. Two books ambitious. I never even grew one, and if I do, it's on my phone. But two shell books.
You bring one anything, well, I'll probably gonna finish this one. Then I want to be stuck without a book, so you bring the second one? Is that was?
I don't It was just like a wanted variety. It's like when I know I want to decide, and you know what I took a picture of because I wanted to promote Gary Goleman's book called, uh what's it called? It's so good? And obviously it's not because it's not catching enough for me, misfit, But I like I like the title of it because the eye is kind of a skew, like it's it doesn't fit in with the rest of the letters, and I thought that was very clever. Anyway,
it's really good. But I'm reading that and I wanted to promote it. And then I also had the the fucking four Plans or whatever. I'm I'm, you know, crawling through that because I really wanted to absorb in my soul. I'm like trying to read it very slowly. If I miss a sentence, I like, if I'm daydreaming, I gotta go back, like I'm trying to like Gary's I could drive daydream through even though you actually can't, because it
is so like he's such a good writer. I have to like constantly look up words, which I kind of love because I'm like, I should know this work. He's an intelligent person and the way he just paints a picture, with the way he talks and writes, he's just so good.
And it's also cool, Like I was writing to him saying, it's so fun, like I get to spend this like very intimate weekend with my friend and like get to know my friend on a level that like I would never or you know, it might take many dinners, because it's like books are more like honest. Yeah sometimes then because yeah, then with your actual friends. So it's really nice to have his like just my just listening to
my friend's life story is like awesome. But then I paired it with the four Agreements, and I feel like Gary is kind of about that life and so it's like injecting that in a nonfiction. I mean both are non fiction, but it's just they. But anyway, I posted a picture of Gary's book, and then I was like, oh, these pair well together. And I was like, like almost like a whine was something. I'm like, oh, they actually do.
So I not only did I bring two books ambitiously, I read both of them extensively, and I went back and forth like it was like a whole I think I came up with a new thing that works for me. Yeah, is to bring variety.
Sure, and then we go.
Back and so you've read on the book up and you read the books. I read both the books and made hard dents and both of them.
That's impressive.
Bitch, you are killing it. I feel you are your dream self. You that is like a future body.
That's so true. I almost bought a shirt today that said weird on it like a tank top. It just as weird, but it was like kind of cool font. Yeah, And I felt like it's kind of keh because saying like I am weird, you know, but I kind of like it because we'd is my biggest fear. Like I don't like being weird. Obviously, I'm always like why am I not like other people? Like that's my baseline shame. But like I feel like wearing a shirt that says it would be like owning it kind of.
Weird co opted by people who are not fun, like people say like, oh, keep Portland weird, and all it means is that you wear like sandals with soft.
Can I change? Can I take anything weird? Because you're right weird? Is it just quirky or autistic? But I like autistic is kind of what I mean by that. I think autistic people are weird. And don't quote me on.
That dot com and it just says all of your most famous quotes and even me if you start for me, there's like some stupid quote, but that could be a great one.
To have on Oh really, Oh my god, I've never checked to that is that like, it's Wiki feet for dumb shit.
You said, no, it's not dumb shit.
It's like a rating site that people basically like.
An AI aggregator has found quotes that you may probably in articles, and it says like, what, let's see if what happens when you search Nikki.
I'm very scared of this. I actually am very comfortable, but I'm allowing it to happen because it's good radio.
The Blazer comedy writer was interesting, weren't you like joking about pylons. You're like, give me a break. If pylons were in my future, I would be a swerving garbage.
Wait what are you talking about? I don't follow this at all.
Everyone Brian was like, write a joke in the style, Oh yeah, yes, no, it was talking about cones.
Rones, Yeah, traffic cones. The Tradashians are like traffic cones. They're orange, they're in the way and I can't get to work on job. And it was like a it's almost there.
It was so close.
You go, oh, okay, I take a job, and then the last one you just go, no, you lost it.
So these are Nicki Glazer quotes from Brainy quote, which these are things that you have said at some point, most likely in an article, but some of them later with likes, and they might be also from your stand up.
So it's hard to say, okay, I probably won't be able to say so some of them are.
It's like some of them are very innocuous, like I like putting myself in uncomfortable situations, Nikki Glazer. So you've probably said that, okay, or I like guys with a sense of humor who smile a lot and are kind Niki Glazer, you're ever saying that?
That's great?
Yeah, that is that's submitted for my gravestone. Actually, I don't know how they got that, because that's what those are the words I want to be left on this earth. Having said, is that I like who smile and have kind eyes. What is it against? What a worthless thing?
I like guys with a sense of humor who are smile a lot and are kind, Well.
Are smile a lot? I bet I say that? I bet I was like, I like guys with a sense of humor who are smile a lot. You know, like I probably said it like that and they miss it's misquoted, and now I sound like an idiot. But I stand by that. I think guys need to smile more, and I think that's a good a that's a little good piece of wisdom for the in cell community to find a woman. Just smile Warren. Guys.
Oh, they put there's actually a whole image with this one, like it's a meme. There's actually this is a Nikky Glazer quote. There's actually a thing called wiki feet that's the Wikipedia of celebrity girls feet. So how profound. Now, Also, I feel like you just said that five seconds ago.
I did, and I don't talk about wiki feet that much. I don't think I updated now, but I like that, please update it because all I was doing and that is giving information that is already I didn't. That literally says nothing. It's probably for what we were talking about this show. But there's no I have no editorialization of it. There's no opinion about stating that exists.
Google dot com is a search engine. If you're typing Google may jokes.
That is what they put is me just explaining the existence of.
Okay, yes, that's what's on here. Well you have like, here's another one.
Are you picking purposely?
No?
No, that one had a whole image associated with the only one that's been highlighted with like a memel like image.
You have to think that a bot made that, because who would think that's profound enough for like a faded image of me like that, like a mimeograph of me? No, okay, go on, what's the next one.
The more you work in this business as a comedian, the closer you get to just being yourself on stage on camera, the more well received you are.
So oh my god, I not to interrupt it all, but I'm interrupting. I found a file on my phone called Nikkeism, so this is the next best thing.
Yeah, can we give these to that? Because these are funnier? I like, can I just say, Brian, those are bots?
Right?
These are things you have said and the bots have clicked.
I get it, but like, why is there no correction?
One more?
One more?
And then we didn't one of your top quotes. I think this says more about you than any quote I've ever read.
This is why we won't be replaced by bots. Okay.
Well, Rob Thomas loves, okay, nothing more than for couples to go on dates, and he loves chocolates boxes. This is not of twenty chocolates ni.
Okay, I did say that. Okay, you want to know why said that? Because we had a segment on some show I did. I think it was Nick and Sarah Alive where Valentine's Day. Rob Thomas's birthday is February fourteenth. So we were like, that's why it got that name. And we were like, because some things that that's why we celebrate Rob Thomas's birthday and by giving chocolates because he loves chocolates. Like we that's from a bit. I didn't write that bit. I probably said those words on TV,
but again take it out of context. But yeah, I think we tried to get a movement of saying happy Rob Thomas's birthday. And so if like you don't have a partner, don't look at it like Valentine's Day, just be like happy Rob Thomas's birthday. Yes, yes, so that's where it comes from. Okay, what's the real Nikkisms?
Okay, non secretor of Nikkiism. I hate Julia Fox's stomach so much.
Oh no, oh no, I love that.
One because it's so relatable.
Oh, we don't bet about that one. Let me say when I say that because I'm kind of obsessed with her now because I did just read a New Yorker. I think it's the New Yorker did a piece on her and she just wrote a book and I can't wait to read it. And I think she is so fascinating and talk about someone who's weird and just like
owns it. I am obsessed with her. And I take back that quote I like love her stomach because I think one day I was just like triggered by it because it was too thin, and I was just like, God, I want my stomach to look like that. So I think that's why I said that. But like, honestly, I think she's awesome, Like have you read any of the stuff that I'm so intrigued by her and and I would like to be friends with her, I think. So I feel bad about saying that, but it was.
Really turned around. It was her whole image. Yeah, this was this was ages ago during like a Yeah.
What she was doing was trying to fuck she doesn't She did the same thing that Shinead O'Connor did, which was like, if you're gonna sexualize me, I'm going to like repulse you, Like you don't like that I'm getting too thin, So I'm gonna get really thin because you hate it. Now I'm gonna get really fat because you just seem to hate it. Like she wanted to reject
what people wanted from her. If a guy was turned on by something, she would do the opposite, and that's what led her to like lose a bunch of weight. I read this whole thing. So now love love, love her and Shanning. Yeah, so what's my next one?
This one time when I said, how are you you?
Text me.
I'm in a cemetery trying to cry. That's my favorite. I think I have a screenshot of it.
Okay, let me predict what the day was.
Okay, you were in New Orleans.
I know, I was totally in the Cayman Islands. I think I went there a lot. I was trying to like release emotions, and I would go on these runs and I would go to these like really cool cemeteries and I would walk sit there and like look at the sunset and try to be like come on, cry bitch, and I couldn't get there.
Yeah, so good to cry, man, It's just oh my gosh, here's what ails you for about a couple hours and it.
Comes Yeah, I'm not comfortable during it. It's like it does feel good at the end of it, but during it, I never really feel like I'm like, you know, I'm just leaning into this and it feels I feel comfortable crying, I guess is the point I can do it. But the whole time, I'm like, this is a nuisance to my life and I know that this is gonna feel stupid, get an orgasm. You just are like, oh, that was embarrassing, like the faces I just made, the sounds I just made.
But you're like, I feel better, but like record of that.
Huh, even when you're not in public, if you're just crying in your room alone.
Yeah, that then that starts to get me. And I've talked about this before. I just start to feel like, oh, were you shit? I was so much to a sad for themselves and being a whittle? Are you filming a scene on Dawson's Queak Auston just break up? I always feel like I'm just, uh, it feels performative. Yeah, it's so strange, like this guilt around it, even though I obviously know that it's not. But I'm not. I cannot cry alone. I just have no interest in crying.
Alone.
I can only cry when someone asked me about my life and I'm so worked up about it, I can't stop but like cry. My therapist is always like what's coming up for you? And I'm like, just let it, don't call it out, just let me do it. I run for the tissue box and I'm like, no, just like, let me cry. Don't worry about stopping it up right now, you know what I mean.
It's like when you got a sneeze, you can't you can't focus on it. You just got to let it go or else. As soon as you try to want to see it stops.
Yes, you can't chase it. Yeah, I've been trying my goon and trick again where you smile so you don't come, because I've been like I just got back into disturbating after like months. No, it's so creepy, dude, I don't or with yeah someone, Yeah that's where not embarrassed to cry. But I'm easily I can go from being really turned on watching a porn video to like just smiling like I'm in a picture for you know, my third grade
class picture. Just like make your face smile almost like just tighten your jaw to a smile and then it'll stop whatever sexiness is going on for a second.
No, like Hault, Oh yeah, comedy is the anti sex for sure.
Yeah.
If you're having sex with somebody and you start laughing or something's funny, it's like game over.
Yeah.
True, it just changes the mood. You can giggle and stuff, and you can flirt and stuff like that. Like that's my new thing with Chris is that I I started just flirting with him, so I'll like throw a pillow on him and he's like, what are you doing. I'm just like just flirting and like I just look, it's so fun to do because I'll just like annoy him, and I'm like, I'm just trying to flirt with you, like I'm trying to connect, but it'll be very annoying.
You have to spell it out, yeah, and like I'm just but it makes it funny or that for whatever reason, it allows us to flirt. Actually by saying like I'm flirting right now, because I'm like, I'm too awkward at doing something that's like that. I just want to say what I'm doing.
Yes, I remember when I got home from Europe, I hadn't seen Matt for like three weeks because he was on tour. Then I was on tour.
Oh, it's so awkward and new.
We sucked for the like literally three days of being home, we just kept going, you're very weird. Oh my god, you were flirting. It was like borderline fight but like kind of flirty. And I'm like, okay, we just have to stop this now, like what do we just have.
To have sex?
Is what we have to do.
We have to have sex, and we're trying to like dogs sniffing each other's holes, Like are you the dog I've seen from around?
Yes, I don't. I I don't have that with Chris anymore because I'm gone. It's it happens so much. But we used to have that lag of time because it would if we don't do it enough. But now that we do it all the time, it's like it's it's exciting though it's it's nice to always kind of be you get to see someone very frequently, but you're also missing them a lot, Like it is really good for
a relationship. I think times of missing Yeah, I miss him right away when I like leave and I'm like, man, it'd be fun to be on this plane with him because I just flew with him recently or whatever, and so I'll be like, oh, it's it was better with him, and like shoot him a text. But then I end up embracing being alone too, Like that's when I'm asked I'm not masturbating, if the plan I'm gooning, But yes, I'm smelling the whole time, so no one knows it.
That's smiling at an airport under a blanket.
Don't lean in for a selfie before we go to break? Oh yeah, please. I can't wait to learn from this the worlsdom applicable I've bestowed upon people.
Yeah, I never feel guilty or anything. After a podcast, I feel better Glazer.
Oh okay, no, that's not that's never is not the truth. There's been many times where I feel guilty because it wasn't good. But I think what I was saying in that podcast was that I never feel guilty about something I've said, and that's also not true. But I don't panic. I just take care of it and say like, hey, can you take that thing out? Or I let it
sit until I like I go. You know what, if this is a problem enough of that you should feel guilty about it, you should remember it later, you know, like if you forget then it's probably not that big of a deal. So they take out and sometimes instantly it's like easy to make that call. But I'm like, but if it really weighs on my conscience. I always struggle with that word. I always want to say conscious. If it's weighing on it, then I think it'll naturally
like I'll remember it. Do you think that's a good system or do you think you should joppo?
It is true of jokes, like if I remember if I if I don't want to write down a joke, and I'm like, if it's really funny, I'll remember it, and then it's like, oh fuck, that was funny and I forgot it.
Yeah, that's where I kind of That's why I asked if you think that that works, because I think maybe it does the same thing as the joke thing, where you will unless you write down, you will forget it.
Oh my god, unless it's negative and traumatic, I have to my memory does not.
Yeah, that's so true.
It's like this isn't important. Oh someone hates you remember that forever.
No, it's easy to remember what berries to eat and what ones tastes good. That's not like a thing like that's why our evolution remembers things that are harmful. It's like gotta remember not to get diarrhea from eating that berry. So like remember bad stuff they got me, but good berries like, yeah, they can kind of for like if you don't remember it, then it's probably safe or whatever. Or you haven't thrown you haven't gotten you know, diarrhea
until you died from it yet. All right, let's go take a break and we'll be back with more after this. All right, we're back. I'm going to New York today in like an hour, I think my less than hour. My car is coming to do a fuck ton of press. I'm gearing up for f Boy Island. It's coming out October sixteenth, Monday on the CW. And so the hard the hardest thing about making a show is I think the press or like the the least fun. Is it part of your contractually it's fun. You have to do
it or you choose to do it. No, No, I choose to do it. I mean, I think it is part of your contract that you'll do something. But I do because I want, I just want the show isn't if it were my show I could pick and choose, and it is my show. I'm an EP on it. But I really wanted to succeed, and so I can't turn down something thinking, oh, that could have been one house with a Nielsen box listening to that dumb show
I did, like that would kill me. That we don't get the rating that we deserve because it's because the ratings are so stupid. So you just got to cast a wide nut and get the word out as much as you can.
I'm going to be questions you wish people would ask you. I'm just projecting that you're driting this because the questions are probably all the same.
I think I know, I I honestly don't. I did some prep calls today because I'm doing Sherry Shepherd's show tomorrow. Oh, it will have happened already, but it's available. Yes, sorry, it already happened. Guys, it was yesterday, but it's online. And that was a really fun one because.
How did you feel about it yesterday?
I think it went so great series, so fun did you work with Yeah? I met her on she was on You Up the Radio show to tell the Truth. Yes, she was also want to tell the truth and that's where I got to know her, and she like she just like confided in me right away about some like personal shit and I don't even really remember what it was about, but I remember thinking, because I did, it's not my secrets. Like it felt like she was like
confiding me. I'm glad I forgot it because I probably shouldn't have known it and she was probably just going through something and like sharing over sharing, that's how much I wasn't like, yes, I have this information, but I remember her sharing something with me that I was like, Wow, she really trusts me, and she should because my memory shit and no, but I was like, oh, that's really nice. And so I'm looking forward to seeing her again. And I am a huge fan of hers from thirty Rock.
She played Tracy Morgan's wife, and she it's one of like the best character actor like funny characters ever. She's so good in it. And I.
In the show, they were always.
Like about seductive and cool. She's just cool. I love her. So I'm excited to do that show and it'll be easy. And then so yeah, I had a call with the producer and she just sent me ahead of time a bunch of questions and then I just like filled them out, like on my laptop this morning getting Starbucks, and then I sent them to her and she looked through them and was like, oh my god, this is great. Thank you so much. I pretty much like did a transcript of like the jokes I would say and like the
stories I would tell. So really, I that's what I would want from producers. If are there any producers listening that are producing a segment for me soon. First of all, thank you for listening to this podcast, because that means you're doing research and you're going the extra mile, which is anal Do we cover that yesterday?
Niggy Loves It's on that website where reading from.
Oh yeah, that's right, but uh so yeah. I just what you should do is you should send me questions you think I would want to talk about, and then I'll go through them and go yeah no and yeah, no whatever, and then I'll a good comic will generally like just work in their jokes, but I want to. I want to give me something to start with. I like when they do that. So that was very nice. And then I'm doing the Today Show. I had a
great call with that guy. He did a ton of research and just we just talked on the phone and did an interview. He didn't like send me questions and that went great. And I'm doing the Today Show on Thursday. And then I just got booked on the Kelly Clarkson Show for Wednesday. Next Wednesday. No, it's this Wednesday. No, I thought it was next Wednesday. I told it what
you was next Wednesday, But it's today. It already happened today. Sorry, guys, it's so often people should look for I also killed it on My Shepherd and she's in New York Today's Show. Because by the time this podcast is out, you would have already appeared that morning. No, Today's Show Thursday. It's this tomorrow morning. It's Thursday morning.
Yeah.
But by the time people listen to this, it'll probably have aired. Oh yeah, you guys have missed everything I did. By the time this came out, we really blew it. And you know what a lot of these shows that didn't get pooked on until last second. I'm going to manifest that I'm doing fallon on Friday that just came up. I'm gonna manifest that I just think I'm in town. I'm free that night, putting it out there Jimmy. I know he's the best of attraction.
He's a.
Straighter things have happened, But yeah, actually I would not. Don't please don't book me on that. I need a night off, because I would do it. That's the thing. I will say yes to everything.
A psychology, but I'll be saying please don't.
Oh yeah, oh shit, who knows what I really want? Whatever happens happened, I will say yes to whatever. Yeah, Falin's gonna go great and you guys can catch that one tomorrow Friday. If this manifestation.
Works, I'm manifesting singing, singing something together because you're both so musical.
I'm a little stressed out by that because I have to write it like they write well great over there, but I would feel like, oh, I want to collab with and I just don't have time. I'm stressed out by the segment already. I can't do it. I can't PARENTI. And then they want Taylor and you to do something next week. We're gonna have one episode. We should let besties, No, that's speakers, Nicky's one episode next time, and you're doing more press I think yeah, in La and I'm gonna
be on the Talk in LA. You can get that one that's next week in LA. And then they're TLA Show, going to Yeah KTLA, And I'm doing a bunch of podcasts. Gonna be on Bert Chrascher's wife pod, Wife's podcast. I'm gonna be on Girl Guys, We Fucked Uh, the KFC Radio, and then like a bunch of others that I can't remember the names of right now, Nick Vile's podcast. We're gonna talk about the Golden Bachelor.
Oh my god, I got to catch up, and you have to catch up on Beckham It's so good.
Oh yeah, I want to watch that. You love it.
I've done a total one eighty. I was bashing it and I was only twenty minutes in and now I'm so deep. I'm I think I am going to start watching soccer.
They're just so good.
The Beckhams are so funny and watchable and sweet and cute, and he's such a good person and there's a lot to learn for anybody who wants to be excellent in any Like you love the Michael Jordan doctors.
I love excellence, and I love watching sports documentaries because of that excellence. So I'm going to love this I watched by myself. I think I can't wait for Chris because I think this is something I want to watch asap.
But Chris probably will be like, oh, it's done in the Errol Morris style of sports docs, or because they Fisher Stevens from Succession direct it. And it's oh my god. The people clips of themselves, but it's like the camera is in the thing that they're watching in the super room and it's so moving. So it's like, oh, I'm taking my sunglasses off. Beckham's watching himself do something so important from his youth that was like a pivotal traumatic moment and they catch like the tears welling up.
Oh my god, that's like when my quotes were read to me.
Just now.
That's exactly how that felt. I was watching tape all my greatest moment on the video cut a Oh yeah, you could have seen the tears in my eyes. But you guys know I don't.
Do you watch out Welcome to Wrexhams and well it's like a similar what you were just describing. They do that similarly where it's like it's about soccer too. It's about the soccer team that they bought and.
Into that Ryan Reynolds is too charming, Like I just start to get like jealous that he exists, Like he's too like he's so handsome and funny, and I start like I should maybe just like have a little crushed chest watching that because I like both those like they're just so funny, but they're like also like I just don't know if it's for me, they're just too there's
something that I can't watch because I'm so jealous. That does that make sense of like I'm jealous of their lives, although I will say obvious of two dudes, Rob mecan, Yeah, mcleheney, thank you. Oh fuck, that is so embarrassing. I love him so much, but I've never said his name out loud. I don't think ever. But that doesn't mean I when I'm.
Skip it.
If you ever see this, I'm so embarrassed because I am observe, I mean always. Sonny is one of the funny shows that has ever been without questions to the longest of all time. Oh it's it's oh yeah, it could right and just beat off the Simpsons that I think is it Bonanza?
I thought it was mash but or something. Let me let me look at that makes sense.
Yeah, please, it's so good man. I discovered Always Sonny. I'll never forget. It was like there's certain things where you discover them and you were like, oh my god, this is gonna be my thing, like thing, you know. I've had that in my life with Conan, with Seinfeld, with Friends, with Jennifer Aniston, with Dave Matthew's band, with Taylor Swift, with Wilco, and with Always Sonny, with and I will add viep to that, I will add succession, like they become my thing. But Always Sonny is so
oh tried and true. It's one of my favorite things that's ever been. But anyway, I only say this all and the reason that it's so weird that I forgot how to say his last name and I wouldn't even try to say it now because it's I'm scared, but I love him so much. But he reached out to
me his his compliment. He tweeted at me when I did the roast of alc Bald, when it like it had come out, but it had like months later, it like went a little like someone it had like a moment, and he saw it and tweeted how brilliant it was, And that tweet meant as much to me as like when Taylor Swift wrote to me. I only read it once. I couldn't look at it again. I was like, oh, you know, like Breathless, that's someone I admire so much, who invented my favorite show, like like something I did
and called me like it said brilliant or something. It said genius or something like. I don't remember it exactly and maybe I'm completely wrong, but it said something very very nice that I couldn't even handle. So anyway, uh, he someone wrote me and said can I give Rob your number? And I'm like, yes, he wants to talk to you about something.
I'm like, fuat, I didn't know.
I was like, oh my gosh, yess And this is recent. So the tweet thing was in like twenty eighteen, nineteen something like that, and then nothing, and then this was a couple like a month less than a month ago, and I'm so I'm like yes please, and I'm like awaiting, like what is he going to ask me? And he asked me if he could give my number to his friend because they wanted to book me. He wanted to book me at his country club.
Was great.
Now, no, I loved it, and but what but he said other stuff in the message that was really nice and like congratulating me on my career and then also saying like how he admires like sobriety talks that I say and stuff. So it was just like really a nice message through and through and was I wasn't able to do the gig, but I would have done that gladly.
I mean, it's actually was an incredible opportunity. But it was just so nice and I just love him so much, so I forget what we were talking about always Sonny, Wow, why do.
We got you refuse to watch this show with Ryan Reels?
Yeah? Back to that. So also, Rob, if you're still listening, I won't watch show now because I'm so jealous of how brilliant you are and now you're friends with Ryan Reynolds. It's too much and I can't and you, like, I am jealous because I wish I could invest in things that cool like it like makes I'm financially very like insecure about what I do with my money and how
I best do it. And it's a dumb insecurity because I don't like educate myself to do better at it, but I'm always constantly ashamed that I could be doing cool things, and I think investing in a soccer team and having it pay off so much really irritated space. I'm jealous, So I don't want to watch it, even though I can learn from it. Like that's why I
couldn't watch the Beckham thing. I was having a weekend where I was feeling like really fat and like just out of control in my body, and I was like, I don't want to watch Victoria Beckham bes tiny. I just like can't take it. As much as this interests me. But today I'm having a good body day. I just my new body's on its way. I just got I just got shipping confirmation, So I'm ready to let her
body into my life. Otherwise, I like, I just know what's gonna make me not feel good and like compare and despair, and sometimes I have to avoid it.
So Rob, here's what's gonna sell it for you. She is the honest one and the really well no no no. They both call each other on their shit. And you like that about.
Seeing that clip. We've all seen the clip.
Yeah, there's another part too, where she's very open about stuff that he's not as open about and and she just like kind of roasts him and it's fun and you'll appreciate his excellence, his dedication, his determination and how he got so good because your.
There's a whole story about how they used to spit on him when he lost a championship or something and how he was like, that's disgusting and like going through that is horrible, But he is like a billionaire. No, so I think it's like it was worth it, not that he should ever have been spat on, but I just heard that of like, it's disgusting what people did to him, And I'm like, but would you do that for a billionaires? Would you have people spit on you in the street?
I would.
It's not that he ever deserves it, and it is disgusting.
They're not rebellion for sure.
Yeah, isn't he probably a billionaire?
I don't know, but it's always sunny in Philadelphia. I want to confirm is currently the longest running live action sitcom.
Well, congratulations were announcing it here.
They have beaten do you want to guess you don't even know what this show is.
Brob Nanza.
They have beaten ABC's The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet.
Oh no, I mean I've heard of that.
Yeah, so they're they're they wont already they haven't. They're not the longest friend show of all time. They're the longest running live action American sitcom.
I wish I could do the I worked so hard at one point during the Pandemic to do a voiceover, not voiceover, but what's it called when you li lip sync for Charlie Dayman. But it was like the first no, no, no, it's not day Man. It is the scene where they are starting a band and Charlie can't read, and so he just draws shapes on this keyboard and yeah, or
like not a keyboard, but on the paper. There's just all these shapes and then he riffs it and at one point Rob almost starts laughing during it because it's the it's the funny thing. I remember seeing that scene and he's like trying to be Bob Dylan too, and I'm trying to think of.
He uh because it's the lyrics, right.
Yeah, no, he is. He can't play piano, but he can't actually, Charlie can't play pianos. He's like kind of a savant and he's good at singing, but his lyrics make no sense and they're weird and they get a little homo erotic and everyone gets uncomfortable and it's one of the it's the funniest scene I've ever seen. I think it's up there. It makes my top three scenes ever of funny.
About you find it somewhere boys, the boy's soul like you have to put it in the hole or.
That's all the day Man musical and that's so Yeah, you gotta pay the toll troll if you want to get the boys whole the boy's soul like, it's the boy's soul.
Take the boys.
But I want to do the Charlie rap and see if I can remember it's a talent I have. No it's let me find it because it's really good and I think it'll.
Make for those of you wondering.
They make people go with it.
Yeah, Baby Beckham does not have a billion dollars. He's got currently estimated at five hundred and fourteen million dollars, which is just nothing close to a billion.
Oh so he's a poor he's so poor.
He's one of those.
A callback that's a hamddrip for the secret episode that's coming up. Okay Charlie's song. Oh it's already out. Yeah, everything's out. No, God damn it. Cherry, you can waltch to a s Sherry Shepherd. You can go listen. If you join the Diamond Players, you can listen to our true what's it called truse Intrusive Thoughts episode where we get real I'm trying to find it. But anyway, that that's a scene that I just remember being like, oh, here it is. No, it's not that.
I guess we're going to cut this out, so I want I was gonna vamp, but instead we can just cut you can vamp vamp. Well, I was just gonna say things that vamp. Now this is me vamping things that I, uh memorize when I was younger, were I memorized. There was a I love it. There's a Beastie Boys song called Paul Revere where I memorized all the lyrics to that, and I would do that all the time. I don't know, I think I remember the whole thing. Now, that's what you look like, very proud of myself.
Like a Beastie boy. Oh I was gonna say, wrong, hat, Yeah you do look like a beastie boy. We were talking before the show about how Brian went to go get his sunglasses and he put up the hood. He has an n F Boy Island hat that comes out October sixteenth on the c W and you just look cool and we're all like kind of intimidated by you. Today there's like a different flag.
Yeah. I was so in love with Tornado O'Connor in college that I memorized the Gaelic at the beginning of one of her songs. It was a poem or psalm that Enya recited, or sure to Dine gone at hue to an I'm pretture wos.
Oh my god.
It's not even a musical that sounds like a rageous curse. It's That's like when I memorized Dave Speak back in nineteen ninety nine. It was it was actually exactly like what you're the quotes that I was saying. It would just be dumb shit he had said in between songs, and they were like written like Dave Gospel, and it was called Dave Speak within the within the community of Dave Matthews band fans. What he said between showings was Dave's speak and I memorized one. It was like, how
y'all feel in Toner? That one was a good one.
Wow.
He had another profound one that was like, smells good out there this evening, Charlotte. That was a that's a class second.
I'll never forget that one. No.
It was always so fun when Dave Matthews would say the name of your city and acknowledged Lenny smell a little weird. It was like, Dave smells weird, cool, he gets it. We love it. Okay, So yeah, do you find I sent you the Charlie v you? Is this a let's just Charlie's like showed up with these lyrics and they're like they're just playing the song out of nowhere. Where's my curtain?
You know?
He wants to sing behind a curtain because he is scared, he's stage fright. He's like, I need a curtain, and he's like, where's my curtain. They're like they don't have one. They did sneaking me insand my dreams. I think I love you and but you want to cry. He made me want to die.
I love you, I love you.
Nightmare downs me down there.
Trying to fight you.
Come inside me, hold on a second. I mean, the first half of that song was kind of cool, but what's with the second half?
You know, like I like what they like the first part, but it sounds like a song where a man breaks out your house in rape. Where are you getting that from? You can't believe? What are you gonna come from?
It might seem wrong, good.
It's just right.
It's just.
It's just two man like brothers, one on top of one inside.
We have to keep talking over it otherwise I can't play this, So keep doing commentary.
We do.
Okay, then it's then so they're confused. But he's really getting into it. He is a really good singing. Come inside and pin me down with your strong hands and come depecial night man. Wait, so the rule is you can't play stuff unless you talk over it, Like, how do they count seconds? Like they've gone four seconds without talking. Let's charge that you.
Have to be commenting on it, so that you're you're.
Doing exactly Then how can you hear it? It's so slippery slope, Nikki.
You can place seven seconds.
And to the Supreme Court. I don't understand.
You want to take this to Neil gorsicch.
Yes, I do he's one of the justice.
Do you think you can name all the justices?
Quite name one you just gave me. I can't repeat the name you just said, so I know that he he's one. He's a name I've seen on crossword puzzles, and I'm always like, what's his name again? But now I'm gonna remember it because I'm gonna remember it's the same as the guy who walked on the moon.
Buzz, yes, buzz Gorsic.
That's what I'm gonna fill in. The next crossing bubble will be like, I don't. It's right. Everything on this puzzle is right. Sometimes so often I convinced myself that the New York Times cross reduzzle is there's an error on it. Yeah, I'm right, and they've made a mistake for the first time in the history of this thing. All Right, we gotta go to break. We'll talk about something else when we get back. I think I have
a plan. All right, We'll be right back. All right, So check me out on those shows that already happened, and then also watch me next week in LA where we're doing one episode next week, So just gear up for that, and also come see me on tour. I mean, where am I coming up next? Sacramento, San Francisco, San Diego, Uh, San Diego go. Okay, I see a pattern, So Orlando, we should add it.
We already were there, I can.
I know I'm going there to for the murder scene to see it. I'm adding it to my list. I used to be a Columbine head, but I'm now in Idaho. Murder's head.
I get.
I would want to drive back by where that happened. I'm a little morbidly curious.
I'm sure we shall. It's probably on the route.
I think it's a bad thing to do. Don't do that because let them heal. But twenty years later you're not gonna They're not even noticed. Trust me. I go to Columbine five times a year. No one cares.
No one.
Don't now.
I like how driving by like prohibits they're healing.
No, it does, because if they get lots of crowds and people taking pants and dark dances and there's.
No influencers in Idaho being like.
Okay, yes, they go there. People go to crime scenes because people are People are like Taylor McGrath. Taylor McGrath is like sifted through dense brush, like John Benet's old stomping grounds, like she's there now. She probably she would. She's definitely gone to John Benet's house.
And I have too.
I was in Boulder and went there my freshman year. But yeah, so go see me in those places. I think was the point of that. What if I did? Actually, yes, she'll be in Denver, which I call the House of John Benet. Yeah, Johnny's town.
It's also were drunk today, a little.
Sunglasses. It makes you feel like freer.
I think, no, I cant just now because they can't see you.
You're going to have time for Columbine when I go there. I might go there on New Year's Eve. That might be a thing I do, because that will have made it. I didn't go this year to Columbine, unfortunately, but I try to get there. I try to winter there winter at least once a year. I try to get.
You got to do your tour, your tour of all the murder houses in America, and then it's your tour would be called now Who's Killing or something like that.
Oh that's good.
What about the Delphi?
Delphi is gonna be hard. We got to do it on a wood bridge about a mile into a very small Indiana town. It'll be that's gonna be like there my Chappelle's shows, you know how he does them in the middle of nowhere at all. While mine's going to be.
Murdered.
You get the crime scene Gilgo beach. Oh yeah, that one. I'm not into that one yet. You don't like the beach, Yeah, that's what marsh. I'm like, God, I'd have to walk down to a beach with all that sand, which is just harder fun. All right, well, let's get to an old segment we haven't done in fucking forever fan Thrax, Thank you AVI. All right, this is where we listen to your voicemails. I actually have a couple letters too that people wrote me that I might Oh this weekend
Bestie's gave me some stuff, so it's nice. I forget the one that I was going to read. It might be another room. But anyway, let's listen to the voicemails you have, Like, Okay, here's one who's actually responding to an intrusive thought episode. Oh oh plug, we're going to wonder how do I listen to that? Well, you gotta sign up for a Diamond Layer topic a little bit but okay, it's okay.
Yeah, I really don't want you to die of cancer just for I'm using shitty the odor it. So here's the thing that I do because I don't I'm autistic. I don't like smells. I don't like I just want to be like as batural as possible, and I don't want anything to touch me whatever respect. I use the salt deodorant, which you were talking about. Like you sweat, doesn't smell bad, like I sweat a lot. I live in Florida, but I don't smell because I use the salt.
Deodorant and the bacteria can't.
Live in the salt. So you just rub a hit lot of salt on your.
Armpits and then you never smell all day and it's perfectly fine.
Yeah, please stop using secret that says no aluminium. Maybe try salt if you want to. I'll you brand. Wait, just salt, it's got to be a brand. No, I think it's salt. But I wonder if no, she's talking about literal little salt. That's too much? How does it stay on? I guess that's a But you know what, this is a good hack if you've forgotten deodorant yeah.
Oh yeah, if you forgot deodor and you're at a restaurant, you get a salt packet, you put it underneath the arms.
I'm just wondering how to apply. But she's not wrong, and I like the idea. But why this is where I go? Why isn't this invented yet? If it's as simple as salt, why hasn't someone made salt deodorant? Like why is that not a thing? And I'm not saying that this doesn't work because a lot of times it's like why didn't you put wheels on luggage fifty years before you? A lot of times it's right in front of you because salt is cheap, and it doesn't like
like the profit doesn't warrant making the product. I pay a dollars for someone to make salt in a way that I could rub it on my pits, you know, like I would pay for someone to figure out how to put it together.
Yeah.
So, but yeah, you're probably right. It's I mean, it comes down to money always, So you're right. It either doesn't work or it does and it doesn't make anyone money. Yeah, since or this, I mean, there are Well that's why I was thinking they're my be a brand, our brands.
I'm looking it up. Okay, there are brands that are like this is so well known that one of the Google questions is does salt deodorant really work?
Okay? See yeah, all right, well perfect, it's Morton's what kind of salt?
Well, there's one called salt and stone, but this is dash. They don't have salt in it. It's it's actually like seaweed extract is their key ingredient. They have probiotics, high hyaluronic acid, which is a molecule.
Really such a bummer that humans smell this back? Yeah, Like, why can't this be a thing we like? It's so funny that that has not been eradicated, don't you animals?
Why are predators would have eaten us in the wild because they could smell us so readily? Or is it that our stench is so horrific that like a line would be like I'm not going near that shit?
Like what it could smell off predators are?
Yeah, we're smelling them off? Are we attracting them?
Well?
It's attractive. Sometimes I feel bad to have sex the other day because matt for good is deoderant and oh prior lake.
Oh.
I was like, He's like, I'm worried I forgot it. Do you have any I'm like, I don't, but why don't you just borrow Nikky's. You guys have walked each other a few times.
I actually forgot mine and I had to use Chris's. But we would have we would have done a threesome.
But I kind of was into it that way. I was like, guys, you smell fine. I'm into this.
Yeah, I like the way.
Like then, I said, I don't want other women to smell you tonight, because what if they're attracted to this? I actually got possessive over his bio.
Huh wait, other women would smell him and like must then they wouldn't be able to help themselves.
Yeah, yeah, whoa, that's any drop?
Damn. I guess I don't think that. I think Chris smells great, but I'm like, well, I'm a different girl, so I don't care if girls want to fuck my boyfriend. I hope they do so that would actually turn me on that I would be like, get out there, meet some ladies. How do they smell you? How girls want to fuck you? But no, I'm kind said, but yeah, I get what you mean.
Yeah, I got a little excited that about my jealousy. I have to have it in tiny doses.
Yes, I got.
I made.
I made Chris make out with me the other night because we were waiting for the security guard to come up to the hotel room and we were in the hallway just like waiting and it was like time to we were like ready to go and like with our bags, and he was like, so, what do you want to do? And I was just like we should just like make out, and he was like okay, and I was like, we never make it. We were laughing so hard because we stand on the first date. Yeah, no, that's what I
used to say to people, to you guys. I didn't with Chris though, but it's my move. We should make out. When do we make out, just say it like casually. It really has worked before with guys, but not Chris. He made the first move, But now I'm making moves and we just like made out. But I couldn't stop laughing, and I think he was almost offended because I was laughing so hard because we never just like stand and
make out like usually. There's like there's there's like things, things are intense if we're like tongues are in each other's mouth. How long did I last? Literally like a minute, a second and a half, like two seconds of just like lah lah And it was just like like fucking like And that's what That's probably why it was uncomfortable. It was making me laugh because it was like, this is the only something we do when we do that like this, can we can't do this in the hallway someone could see us.
I'm like, I love that you had to do it in front of the security guard.
No, no, no, he wasn't there kidding. Oh my god, that's insane. I would never do that to anyone. I look at how hot my relationship. It was so weird. Final thought, let's get to the last Okay, this is someone who wants some advice.
Hi, Nikki, Noah, Brian and Anya love the podcast. Long time listener Nikki and Yes any Love from Canada also come to Toronto please soon.
I'm coming. My question though, is Randma.
I guess just for your opinion and kind of perspective, I'm twenty seven, I'm single. A lot of my friends are all kind of in relationships getting married, and I honestly haven't really been in like a serious, real relationship at this point and just sort of at a weird point where I feel like I'm not young anymore, but I'm not old yet. And I guess I'm just curious what you guys would give, like in terms of advice to yourselves when you were twenty seven and maybe weren't
at the place you wanted to be in life. Yeah, what advice would you give to a twenty seven year old version of yourself about dating and just a good perspective for the future. So that was really awkward to record. Love you and please come to Canada, Please come to Toronto.
I'll see you there at RAMA. I love this call. First of all, anyone would be so happy to date this person, like they you just sound like so smart and cool and like emotionalig you're thinking about this, like, oh my god, what a fucking winner. So the good news is like when you get into a relationship, it's gonna be great, Like you're so ready for one, and you're like so like, someone's so lucky to find you, girl. So that's the good news.
The girl, the girl that you're gonna marry, is not ready for you yet. They're gonna cato or guy. I'm sorry.
I don't think they spascified.
I didn't specify. I'm sorry, apologize. This person is going to catch up to you. You're there, it sounds like you're there.
That's really good, or they're just gonna find someone that's like it's just gonna make sense right away, Like I think that. I just feel I feel frustrated in many ways in my life in terms of like I'm stunted in the terms of like growth, where I would picture myself like I was just playing guitar earlier today and I was like, I'm so mad I'm not further ahead at this, Like I'm so mad I'm not for their head at singing and all these things like why did I start so fucking late? But the truth is like
you just start when you start. And it's like I felt. I used to feel that way about sex. I didn't have sex a twenty one that felt so late. I didn't have a boyfriend till I was twenty four. I didn't have like a real boyfriend, like real one that wasn't long distance or just totally drunk, till I was twenty eight or nine, I think nine, until I met Chris which was my first like sober, normal relationship. Guy liked me as much as I liked him, so like there is I relate to feeling like late to things,
but you're you. I liked that you were aware that you aren't old because you're not. They're just twenty seven is so fucking young. You just trust me, like no one expects you to know what you're supposed to do right now, Like anyone who's older than you looks at twenty seven year old and is like, don't feel like you should have your life figured out right now, like at all. It's totally you have so much time. And I wouldn't say that if I didn't think.
That when you turn thirty five, you're gonna be like, holy shit, twenty seven was so young.
Yeah, thirty six is where maybe you go like okay, I'm I'm like I make some like have some reckoning with yourself of like okay, I gotta like really start the gas to the pedal. But now is like not twenty seven, and that's not safe. You're thirty six listening and being like, well, I to the sky and I'm thirty six, to look what do I do? Yeah, gas
to the battle. If you want to achieve your dreams, fucking figure it out like you are getting up there, But twenty seven, keep have fun, like let yourself off the hook a little bit.
Yes, in general, when I was twenty seven, I had just moved back in with my dad. I was living in my dad's house on Long Island. When I was twenty seven.
Yes, and now you're married happily to the love of your life. I'm married and you're how old I'm thirty five? See you look how quickly things can turns around?
Yeah like that honestly, Oh it was my so single. I moved out of my parents' house at like almost twenty six. So also, the other thing I have to tell you is right in this moment, you are exactly where you need to be. Everything you want is unfolding for you, even if it doesn't feel like it, it totally is like you are exactly where you need to be right now. If I could give myself any advice at twenty seven, it would be like wear sunscreen. Read Alan Carr's Easy Way to Quit smoking.
Yeah.
Yes, dating someone thirteen years older than you is weird. They're like a sure there is a power dynamic that is at play age is not just a number, but these are just but also like.
Your fire specific things for you at that age. But no, that makes sense, like this guy should do all those things. I mean you gotta in other words, like you can be really fucking up right now and it'll be totally you can.
Still course correct. But if you are thirty seven, you.
Gotta make desperate, get it together desperate moves and it's really so d that's my cusic career started then, but that is true, made to move though.
When you were in your late thirties, you're like, I want to be a musician. I'm starting my music career. I'm doing it. And if you're if you.
When me, seven is the most exciting time.
Yeah, if you're thirty seven, I don't want to discourage.
Anyone who's forty something and is like I haven't done anything, Like well, it's just it's time to do it. You're gonna die, But just like do your best, make pa what make peace with that. You're not gonna be as good as you want to be or you might not have the best relationship, like, but you're gonna have something like have you deserve a relationship you don't get to opt out of these things that everyone else does where you're like, I'm different, I'm gonna be alone forever. Okay,
well maybe that's the case because of just circumstances. And I'm not saying that the caller talked like this. There are people in my life that I've had heard talk like this where it's just like I'm not gonna have this. I don't get to go on dates. I'm not the type of person that will do this kind of thing.
And I sit here it on Reddit a lot and just people in depressive episodes, And I've talked like this before about like just absolutes about stuff, and the truth is like you're not special enough to like not do those things, like I'm never gonna be able to get on an airplane, like some people have fears like that, Like it's you. If people do this all the time, you can do it too. It's not that hard. You can't making it so hard in your head that that's
gonna be your future. Like maybe that's you right now, Like it could change. I used to be terrify of sex and thinking I will never be able to have it. It is too weird. I cannot imagine ever having sex I was terrified of the idea of it late till late in life. Then I was like drinking. I was scared of intimacy. I was like, I can't. I used to tell my friends I cant fissure myself making out with someone. In high school, I was like, I'm never gonna kis someone because I cannot picture it. It's just
not something I do. I'm like different, like it's easy for you guys. I am there's no part of me that wants still put on someone. And I would freak out about it. I'd be like, it's just not for you know, and then almost you like put yeah, yeah, hell yeah. Now I literally only do it when I'm being penetrated, as we just learned, so I can only
let it in in some ways. But I just I always used to like pride myself on like or I would have to convince myself I was different, like I have this phobia, I have this weirdness, so that I wouldn't do the things I was scared to do. So I venture to think that this person is a little scared of a relationship, and that's okay because they are scary and like you might really want one. But there's a part of you that might also be very scared
because it seems so great. It shouldn't seem that you're not. You could be in a relationship if you wanted to be. So, I would say push yourself to get on apps and go on dates and do things that you're terrified of doing and thinking like I can't do that. I have you know, social anxiety or whatever it is, Like, don't
make excuses. Just do the things other people do when they want update and if you want to find someone, you gotta get You got to get on the apps, I would think, is to talk to people in public, which I don't think you're going to do anytime soon. So go in the apps. You're not different. Not that this person said that they don't want to do that stuff.
He's comparing himself with his peers and he's like everybody is in a relationship and I'm not what what's wrong with him?
The fu?
Yeah, you haven't found anyone good enough yet. I mean, honestly, that's kind of how I felt about it.
Yeah, and I like my inter view is more lais fair. It's like you're doing nothing wrong. Everything will transpire, you know what, make a list make a list of how you want to feel in a relationship. What is that person like, how do they make you feel?
Flation things?
Wrote when I was going on my year of dating, I wrote down a list of everything I would want in a girl, and I and then I got it.
Then you were on Jimmy Fallon on Friday.
Exactly, so it got the wires got crossed. And now Nicky's got a girl who's got all those things, and I'm on Jimmy Fallon.
No, but I know that's so true.
I put it all down and I and all those things came true. All those things came true. I love that.
Yeah, I remember other things.
What happens is you start acting like the person you want to be and you didn't even realize it. Like I was like twenty seven and I was dating somebody. He was much older than me. I was like, why am I not actualized in my career? Like I'm just like his girlfriend. I'm his everyone refers to me as like his girlfriend. I'm not my own person. Yeah, and then I started being like, I want to play music. He's a musician. Oh, I didn't know I wanted to
play music. So I started writing songs. I started getting open mics, I started developing that like just think about how you want to feel and what you want, how you see your life.
Yes, and force yourself to do things that are uncomfortable and because if you I I want to if you want a relationship, which I used to want one to and couldn't get one, it was so like woe is me?
Like what's wrong with me? No one likes me? Like there were moments where I would think, like maybe I'm broke, Like maybe I'm not a catch, but I guarantee you to the caller, You're a fucking catch because you sound like amazing, Like we all just fell in love with you, and so the only reason you don't have someone is because you're not trying, Like it's you're in your own way, because there's no reason you shouldn't because you're you seem
amazing like that. So when I finally realized that about myself, like I'm in my own way, like I if I it's not that hard to get a boyfriend. My old story was like I can't get a boyfriend because I'm choosy and because I'm waiting for someone who like deserves me. That's fine, and that's Okay, but that's that's what was happening. It wasn't that I was like broken in some way. I just had I wasn't. I wasn't willing to do the things I was scared to do unless it was
like really worth it. And I was just like my journey. But some people just date a lot, and.
That's cool too, Like we want to know what happens.
When I want to know what happened when I was single and sad and lonely. One piece of advice that I forgot who told me it was like a therapist or a friend or something, but they said, most people that have a nicky quote this quote. She's yeah, she's most people.
You're right. It was a cogent piece of information, so it definitely wasn't a nick quote.
Well the advice. The advice was sometimes people go to cars. And I was like what And that was the advice. So someone told me that and I was like, okay, yeah, no, but someone told me that the vast majority people in modern human existence have gotten married. So what makes you think that you're so special that you're going to be the not thees?
Yes, what makes you think you're so special that you're going to die in a plane crash, like like what, I'm serious? Like, why do you think you are so like unique that it's gonna happen a year?
It's but this is something that happens to most people.
You flip it. Yes, that's true. Okay, it's opposite, yea, most people. We got to go. I have to go get on a plane. Actually, so I can make that joke because I'm about to die on a plane crash. Wouldn't it be crazy? And it happened, this would be the most watched video of all time. And you're welcome, my heart that I died in that playing crash saying that I predicted it. Oh my god, I don't like it, but if it did, it would be wild.
Tune into fallon f Boy Island coming on October sixteenth.
I didn't make it to any of my opinions, that would be fun, but do watch f Way Island. It's my it's my what's it called my song? My tall song song? No? Actually, my swan song is going to be like I See your Voice like a TV show that I did, like I tased like two years ago that they're just sitting on that's gonna be the last thing. Okay, well it was a great career. Thank you guys so
much for listening. I'm total king. I'm I'm not going to die in a plane crash, but i will say I'm working on a joke about one where I say that I just every time there is like turbulence and I think I'm gonna die, I'm just like, oh, I got a long one to like the Bungo Wi Fi. I'm kind of like I gotta say my goodbyes. Like I start thinking about, like what's my old password? Then I got to like reset it, so like there is I already start thinking like clerically about saying my goodbyes,
and I'm like this is so annoying. I have to die right now. So anyway, that's my joke. Have a good weekend and fly safe in Sacramento. Uh, don't be good and make light of things are terrified of.