#378 Lending Out Your Body, Working on Your Birthday & The Line From Hell!

The nick A Gliser Podcast, Nick Gleiser.

Here's NICKI, Hello, welcome to the show. It's Nick Glazer Podcast. I'm Nicky Glazer. I'm in Saint Louis. Taylor McGraw's here. Hi.

Yeah, regular on the show. What's Up?

Tea?

What a g.

Also, here's Anya Marina and Brian Frandia. Noah, my gods.

I just got a text from a friend because I had posted on the Instagram story that there was some like report about Kendall Jenner being a monster or something.

Let me read it. What did it say? It said like Kendall Jenner.

Is branded an unbearable bitch after video resurfaces of her.

So I didn't check out the video or whatever.

But then I wrote in response to that on my Instagram story, I actually hear that she and Kim are the nice ones of the family, and because that's what I've heard from people who who know, they know, and I've heard it multiple reports that everyone in the family they're not like mean. But the people who are incredibly nice to like Crewe and like other people out like in the production and go out of their way to be nice are Kendall and Kim that are like the

She doesn't look nice.

Yeah, I've got a.

Scow She paid for that scow y look, that angry Yeah, because smiling makes your face wrinkley.

Oh is that what? You've just been so happy your whole life.

Yeah, I'm always making fun of everybody and everything and getting a sly little smile.

How's everyone doing today? What's what's the HAPs? I mean, we're back from the road. We were in Chicago and Peoria this weekend, me and Anya with you know, Matt, Anya's husband.

Husband.

Husband feels weird to spend I'm still saying partner here and there.

I'm trying to.

Really, it just sounds so possessive to be like like I was boarding a plane and I'm like, this is my boarding pass, and then I swipe and I'm like and this is my husband's. I'm just like, it's so weird, and that's like, yeah, I wouldn't say that. I'm like, you wouldn't if you had both our boarding passes, what would you say.

It's like I'd just be like, this.

Is mine, this is yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

I read a thing the other day that said a meme that was like if a guy wants to make you horn It was something to the effect of, if you want to make me horny, say my name, like in the middle of a sentence, like when you're talking Tate say my name, Oh my god, when I hear Chris say Nikki, I'm always just.

Like, always feel like I'm in trouble.

Yeah, well, maybe that's why I like it. I don't be a little bad girl what he calls me Nicole Renet. Yeah, I like it.

I think it's hot and I think that I think husband. I think that's the only reason to get married is that you can say husband and wife.

It sounds cool. I think that's one of the perps.

Its like only re ragging a little, like my husband, I am married.

I used to feel that way about boyfriend too, Like my boyfriend, like, oh, do you have a boyfriend, someoneould love.

You embarrassing when we're at this age to say boyfriend, Oh my god, be man friend.

When I was filling f boy Island, these girls would always say, and I don't know, like just in my twenty four years of life, I've just never been I'm.

Like, do you need to keep? Do you always need to say? And they'd be like, sorry, Nikki, like they knew.

And then I didn't like that because it was like acknowledging that they do know I'm older. I want them to be like I just always think of you like you're twenty four.

Uh huh and yeah, so uh that's yeah.

The road was fun. It was fun being big out there. Thank you to all the besties who came. So many were there both in the audience because I heard you're cheering when the host, the person bringing me up would say the Niko Laser podcast, I heard you guys go whoo. And then and then I met many of you after the show at the meet and greet, and that was so special and I even learned new stuff. Oh yeah, yeah, I don't know if she was she was not a bustie.

I love compliments to getting them.

Yeah, but I will say, and I've said it before, most of the time I give a compliment to someone, they're just maybe they're nervous to.

Hurt me and so they don't.

But they don't go like thanks, I got it at this, like they just kind of like, don't say anything, and this is an only only meet and greets. I think that people sometimes are just like thanks, and you just go like well you, or like can you give a little bit, like I love it too, Oh my god, No one ever says anything like I want I went a little bit more.

It takes me a minute to decide if it's mind because people I will say, like about my car a lot, and then I say thank you, or I'm like wait what, I didn't make this car when I was ten years old.

I know my dog, or like when I have dogged like these dogs are cute, I'm my thanks, I birthed them.

Even if you diad birth it. It's not like you choose.

To do like there's just very well hair issue on your baby, or like if you get a if I ever get a compliment about something the other day actually, and I'll get back to the jacket.

Thing from the mean Greek.

But no.

I was on f Boy Island and the director brought his children to uh set and they were like these young girls, I think fourteen eleven and then there was like a maybe a nine year old and they were so sweet, and two girls and the youngest boy.

And both the girls.

Were like like kind of looking at because I was all done up. It was like the finale episode. So I was like high heels and wearing this glamorous outfit and I just looked like a barbie kind of, you know. And they were both like and they were like hi. And he introduced them and he was like, this is Nikki. She's really nice and funny. And he was like and then I complimented him. We both love each other so much,

On the show. You look so pretty, and you just tell me.

They were like, and I instill, And so I have my microphone on and the director his their dad is in the control room and I'm on set with the girls, and they're gonna go visit him in a second.

But I had this little moment with them.

They're like, you're so pretty, and I was like, girls, thank you so much.

That's so nice.

I just want to tell you this is fake hair. This is a spray tand I paint my body every time. These these are fake eyelashes. This is so much makeup. If I took this off, I'd be unrecognizable to you.

I promise you.

All of this is a lie. And they were just like, we don't need to know. Like they were kind of like, okay, go everything you see on TV is a lie. Don't compare yourself ever, And they were like, we just wanted to say you're pretty. But then I had my earpiece in and he goes, I just want to say thank you for doing that.

I was like, that was really cool. What you just did.

You like immediately told them the truth. You accepted it, but you told them the truth about these things. Because they are so young, they are at that age of like the way they were looking at me was like you're better than everyone because you're so pretty, And it was like.

Mom, because she just wears at house hurlers every day, you do look at that like, yeah, celebrities, you just have this.

I just need to constantly just ruin that image or you know, dispel any I don't know, like perfection that they put onto it, and maybe it's like unnecessary to do all the time. But I liked that he saw what I was doing and appreciated it because he must see his kids like absorb so much life.

Double it's double tough for kids these days because they have filters to contend with. Also, it's like everybody on Instagram looks absolutely perfect.

That yeah, your filter you're when you go on Instagram story to post something as a selfie, it's already filtered. I know people go, well, I didn't put it on Paris mode. Paris is like the class filter that doesn't kind of look like a filter, But you're already filtered. These cameras already are filtering us to make the look as pretty as possible. And it's get automatic automatic. You have to go in and unenhanced.

Really, yes, you're enhanced autumn.

If you think today you don't.

The only time I've ever.

Thought that, I know, because then you can't stop staring at yourself. You're like, I'm fucking gorgious.

I could have posted over it, so I can't look at myself because I would probably accidentally be doing it because I don't like use computers look at myself at the time.

Yes, it's yeah, we're always being lied to. It's it's painful and uh yeah, so I just but anyway, so this woman came through at the meet and greet and I was like, that's a great jacket and we took it. She was like thanks, took a picture and I was like, where'd you get that? Like is that she's like anthrow And I was like is it recent? Like can I still get it? She was like you can have this one and I was like really. She was like I

It's so cool. It's cool.

It's like this blure black and then it has embroidered like all these like birds kind of thing, like it's it's really gorgeous and I'm so excited.

And it's happened to me a couple of times. Yes, Satin is I'm not full door. Sorry, I get those two confused.

Yes, sat it's a satin oversized bomber and it's awesome and I love it so much, and it's so much better than buying something.

I love doing that because I get everything from the thrift story. So I'm just like, you canna have it. That's like nice. It would be hard to find. It cost fifty cents, so that's perfect, so nice, and I get more.

I should do that. I'm going to try to do that more often.

There was a really awkward episode of Conan where Trump was on, and this was before he was running for president or anything. This is just when he was the Apprentice Trump and he was promoting the Apprentice and he had a tie on and Conan said, oh, that's a really nice tie, and then Trump said it's a Trump tie, and then he did his whole like commercial for Trump ties.

I gave you this tie.

Oh gosh, I hate that Trump did something charming ones. Oh, I mean he.

Does at all the time. That's why.

Yeah, he is ever since. Shane Gillis is special.

I just keep thinking about his Trump impression about how.

You beautiful told that guy with the dogs, the beautiful dogs. He died like a dog. It's so good.

If you haven't heard Shane Gillis's Trump impression, it's on you. You said it bust day of the day. You were like, I could listen to that for half fourteen hours.

Yeah, that should have been It's the rest of me. He was so good.

I loved his special, Brian, you loved his special two. You wrote me and was like, Shane Gellis is the next Louis c K.

Yeah, best special of the year. So far I think. I mean, it was amazing. It's really he's got this everyman, workingman h vibe. He's got those people on lock and he understands them and they understand him. And that special was incredibly well written. It's so funny, the best special of the year.

He's having great time. He's in the Poko.

You can watch it on YouTube.

Yeah, Joe is so great all by myself or something I forget, but yeah, but Shane, Yeah, I he just was having a great time. I learned so much about what I want to do for my next one in terms of like be like he was loose. He was loose, felt very loose. He didn't feel like nervous. He also just he's having a good time. He's smiling a lot. I think like sometimes comedians just get took and like don't smile.

Like people laugh and they're like you can tell they're kind of holding it in. I'd be laughing.

But also I hate when comedians laugh at their own jokes, because you're like, we've heard you know, you've done this million times to hate me.

But he doesn't seem to be.

I don't think his is bullshit. Like I think he's actually having still having fun with the joke.

Yeah, like laughing at people's reaction to it.

Yeah, I just think he's in it. He's in the pocket. As we've said before. It's just it was really impressive to me. I really, I loved it so much and I just love My favorite thing was him getting bullied for wearing a bucket hat. He got like bullied by a goth in Australia for wearing a bucket hat.

It's so funny because he like attempted to wear a bucket hat.

His friend was like, no, it looks cool, and he was like, yeah, who's gonna make fun of me?

In Australia, everyone's nice here the gods.

Someone lifted up his bucket hat and then put it back on his head like behind him, and he turned around thinking it must be a friend.

Because who would do that? And it was a goth.

Finally, we used to make fun of goths, right, yeah, not to their face.

We made in front of everyone though. We were equal opportunity. We didn't like pick on the dorks. We made equal fun of like every person.

Yeah, we could everyone to death. Yeah, but we made fun of goths. We made There was one girl.

Who used to draw like sex cat, porn cats, porn cats. She used to draw like cats, like with huge tits, like almost robotic.

She was good anime, but we didn't know what anime. And I'm sure there was anime, but not a lot.

Right, No, I don't think it was that.

I think she made up anime. She could be the originator.

Wow, I'm gonna look her up.

When I used to draw, I would draw during class and stuff, And there was one time I was really good at drawing the top halves of people, but not the legs.

Every day was particularly.

The pelvis I could not handle. And I was drawing this like comic book character, and there was this girl, this probably the hottest girl in my high school class, was sitting behind me that day and she was watching me draw this thing. And then she goes over and she's like, you're really good at drawing. And I was like, yeah, it's pretty except for the legs. The legs and pelvis are kind of like off. And I was like, yeah, I'm not very good at it. And there was something like.

You just covered it with I'm good at it, but the top halfs.

Do you ever see the movie pop Star where the only island musical movie that should have done better.

The best comedy movies ever.

Yeah, one of the funniest movies ever, and it flopped and because people are stupid. But in that in that movie, he goes off and he into the farm and he starts painting, and he paints horses.

But he can't do the hoop.

That's legs had draw legs. I just mind taper. It's like, I can't draw anything really, but if I start, it's not accurate. If I start during the top the legs. Just taping your drawings on your body, you your people, and the hands always are in the pockets for sure.

He wonders tattoos lately.

Yeah, John Ramsey, j J B R.

I will avenge you, John, what do you think happened?

Her brother? Did it? Burke did it?

B D I?

How much would you b D I?

Everything I got? It's r I Ramses did it b D I. Burke did did? Yeah?

Okay, so every parents written by.

Written by the mom.

Yeah, And it was an accident.

He like pushed her off the thing because they were arguing about pineapple or something.

He I think he hit her and then with the flashlight and then he made the garrett, which wasn't actually a garrett or garage or whatever. It was actually a very similar to a boy scout toggle, which he knew how to make, and it's what you pull things with. So there's evidence of her being pulled by it. So I think he was trying to like pull her and

Is he the special needs?

I think now you can tell that he is, but I don't know about back then.

But the thing that everyone celebrates Christmas Eve differently.

He has special needs. But they might not be psychological. It's just like but they found a lot of books in their house and one was called like why doesn't Johnny have a conscience? And other they were all about children overtly sexually.

That the ram had clearly bought because they had a family dealing with them.

Yeah, their Matt checks out with the nine one call where hats he can be heard saying what did you do?

Yeah?

M hm, oh no, it seems like yesterdays and then come back and talk about the Delphi murders that.

They've been like, we're not going to talk about but there has been a huge update. Yeah, I said in the kitchen, was like, can we talk about the Delphi murders because there's been updates? I said, I can't because I don't I haven't studied them enough. And I got some All the records are been sealed, but they were open for a little bit and one of one of the besties sent me the unsealed things.

She like, got them.

One of the most fun things that happened between Chicago and Peoria coming up Starbucks?

Which which? Which Starbucks?

Stop?

In that three hour drive we've made fourteen? All right, we'll be back right after this. All right, So we're driving between Chicago and Peoria on Saturday for our show. Anya, what happened?

You started playing a question game, which Matt and I always appreciate, and it was like.

Because you guys get to know each other so much more as husband and uh, it's fun.

To get to know you more too, because even though I lived with you for years and I've known you now for eleven, I think there's always more to learn about Nick.

Well and Matt passes on most of these questions.

Or you're asking who knows.

No, It's like they're just like they're like conversation starter. Like I google like fun quirky questions. It's really hard to google fun questions. You get the same list over and over. It's like it's like googling lyrics. Do you ever heard google lyrics? And it's just like so many ads and pop ups and stuff like, it's really difficult to find fun, interesting conversation starters.

It's the same list over and over read.

It's always that yes, you're always yeah, yeah, yeah, it's it's free. It's for people who are autistic who are going on a first date and need like questions to ask or something, which I think is good.

It's nice to have these.

They do help you get to know each other so much better and it does spark good conversation. So there was one that we did that Anya was like, we should definitely talk about this on the pod. So, Anya, do you want to present the question.

If someone was borrowing your body for a few months, what would you tell them about how it works?

I love this one.

I'd be like, p carefully Okay, we like are we talking because we answered this question on like we were just mostly that the answers were like we didn't want people to fuck it up, so we were like, be careful.

About this thing.

And I'm wondering, like what do we tell the person to like have fun with it, like do more like hey, go for go hike.

See what see if my body likes doing that?

Soul like you're going to get it back and it's gonna be all scratches on it.

Like I think what we're worried about. I think like you were creating like a list, like.

If someone was watching our dog, like he likes to go to bed this time, Like is that the is this the question?

Is that the question? Like how it works?

Like what things people or would you be like, listen, it's gonna do this.

Weird creaky thing. Don't worry about it. It's okay. That's what I think. It's like that's the more fun answer. I think you should go for that.

I think things your body does that people would be like, oh my god, I should go to the hospital, like calm down, it's okay.

It's like.

You have to report when you're in a downward dog positions during yoga over because it's gonna happen if it's a good one, if.

You want that.

My joints crack, like my elbow and my knees, and it makes like this loud snapping sound, as if like a branch is breaking off a tree. What And it doesn't hurt. No, it doesn't hurt at all. But here's a lot of people.

Someone thinks that there's like a tornado outside, but you're just like leaning back st.

Okay, that's a good.

One to everyone, right, Wait, why p carefully, Taylor. I just thought of the last thing that I did that I was like, what is wrong with me? Because I was peeing outside and it was just all over my entire body. The ground was hard.

But there's because it came out too slow.

No, it's too fast ricochet, Oh.

I thought it.

It came out slow and it dripped down the sides of your thighs, like sometimes it came of a cave wall. It just travels down or like you know, marry a statue of Mary crying or whatever, you know what I mean? Yes, yes, and that's what I like what it comes out. I always try to like get it like.

But not outside on the hard ground. It hasn't rained in a while.

In San Louis, anyone taking her body out for a.

Spin is going to be pissing out carefully.

That's what I was wanting to They also have like my muscle memory and like psyche, are they going to be outside peeing?

Okay, so they're just borrowing your body for were you peeing outside in Saint Louis?

Catching insects in the park.

In what park? Corondali Park? You were catching insects?

Do you? And then you put them in the freezer and then you stab them? Yes, through the abdomen?

Yes, okay? How do you catch them with a jaw?

Have a net? And then also I have something called.

Kids get it beat sheet which I just made.

It's like a big sheet, make it X and then you wrap around like uh fabric, and then you go put it under a tree and then you bang on the tree.

And beat sheet, beat sheet?

Who bait sheet?

Okay, science.

Hobby, that's something my hobby. Science baby.

I would tell your body person that's borrowing it, like you might see some bugs in the fridge.

When did crawl out of my shirt while I was driving and flew up my face?

Oh my god, do you like them when they're alive?

I love them even when they're alive, So.

Why don't you keep them alive?

And what if you lived back and they had like shaved off your pubic care?

Would you be mad?

Yeah?

No, i'd be.

I'd say you would be like, don't whatever you do, don't shave my puber care on you.

I just don't want to come back to like a weird.

I don't know.

I was thinking like you would be, because I'm guessing Taylor has a great pubes circa nineteen seventy four because you have cool retro taste.

Oh, she keeps it tidy.

Really, it doesn't grow, You don't have any sad Yeah, but they're pathetic.

They're pathetic. But do you trim the one do you like shave the ones that are do you have like bald?

No?

None of my business?

Yeah?

Oh really I shave it off?

I nothing?

Yeah no no, because then it's like you don't get complaints of like I found a hair in my yea food.

It's brave.

Let's say you could rent your body out to somebody for three months, and then during those three months, it was like you're under anesthesia. Like you didn't exist, okay, but you rented it out with the purpose of accomplishing something. So that person would take your body for three months and make you give ten pounds or learn song on the piano, or like.

Whatever project, would you do it?

You'd give up three months of your entire life, but you'd come back guaranteed.

No, no, because you know what, A part of being skilled and talented is knowing what it took to get there, and that's.

The joy of it. Like I don't.

I don't really celebrate things that I'm born with as much as things that I've earned. What do you guys feel Do you think you wanted to just show up interesting?

I like being good at something I hate being bad at, like especially if it's like a sport or some kind of hobby. So I would take that offer in a heartbeat if you were.

Weren't they molested, Well, I'll take someone working out for me because I don't enjoy the process of working out.

So you could rent them right now.

So yeah, I would have to do pilates.

You get a room and there's a body in there that you get to rent for an hour.

If they molested me, I guess I wouldn't know unless.

You know, oh you might know. Really I don't know.

Yeah, but they allowed to molest me because it be them, like masturbating, because it's theirs.

Unless I don't know.

It'd be like, you know, telling someone that was babysitting for you, they can't eat your snacks, you know that's staying at your house. They have access to the pantry, they should be able to.

Is there anything about your body how it works that you feel like you have to explain to them, Like.

Wayne, I would have to give them like a forty five page pamphlet explained it.

As soon as we said this thing, I said, Brian, and it was like we should do this on the pot I go. Brian will take the entire episode answering this question because there are so many things. Let's listen, let's do the top Let's do a top three right now, Brian, Like, if someone was to take over your body.

Well, you're gonna be missing two teeth and the rest are in pain because you grind and clenching knights.

If you can't eat anything or else will be you'll hurt. Uh.

You Currently you can't get a moving vehicle because you're getting nauseous.

And let's see third one.

Why can't hold on? Why can't you get a moving vehicle right now?

I don't know.

I mean it's it's always been an issue, like I get a little nauseous motion sick, but like lately it's been like times ten. So like I'm having a little bit of trouble even driving my own car, which yeah, which sucks, but you know that's that's definitely mental and it's definitely somehow stress related and I'm trying to work

And they had to take it out.

Is a dental implant, Yeah, an implant.

Well the implant is still there, but that had to take out the crown and and I have to wait another three weeks to get it back.

God, oh my god, Bri, it's crooked.

I hate this crooked.

I forgot to tell you guys, very important update.

I like my veneers.

Now I had them adjusted for hopefully the final time I stood up to my beautiful Russian dentist who I'm afraid of. And there was a lovely hygienis that was nearby who happens to be ocd about teeth and was like directing the dentist. Can you imagine a hygienis directing a dentist, And she was like, just a little curve there, and this needs to be straightened out and that's a little two ninety degrees and you need to make sure we've got job. It was amazing and I like my

Get your same hygienis.

Brian's tooth saga.

I don't think we've gone into it on the podcast, but it is so much and it's all due to him not having a filling shaved down all the way, so then his bite became misaligned. And then she went on fucking vacation and couldn't fix it.

You went to a glamorous faces in Italy. But for anybody.

Who is.

People the story like a million times and he always has.

A glamorous vacations vacations, Yeah, and then she came back with a big hat from Italy and like so for an if you get a cavity filled, then it's usually when they fill it, it's usually a little high.

And so when you bite down, that's why they say bite down. They put that paper in your mouth and they shave it. Yeah, the problem is your your.

Mouth is numb.

Usually it's it's really hard for you to tell if you're biting down enough when they measure that with the with the paper. But just if you get a cavity filled, make sure you bite down and as hard as you can, because the worst thing that can happen is if it's too high. And then if you go home from a cavity and it feels like it's too high, you need to go back that day, go back the next day because you cannot.

I don't get it at night.

And then think, even when you're biting, if it's too high, that point will just keep nailing the other two and both teeth will get damaged and possibly cracked, which is what happened to mine.

Jesus Christ.

If you're listening and you get a filling and it feels like it's too high, do not wait. Do not think like maybe this is in my head. Do not think like maybe it'll fix itself on its own. You need to go back that day or the next day.

Taylor. You just went to the dentist for the first time.

No, I couldn't get an appointment.

You called message. Yeah, you have dentists fear. What's it called? What's a phobia? When you're scared of the dentist?

What's it called?

Yeah?

Phobia?

Yeah?

And why are you scared to go? Have you always been your whole life?

Yeah? I don't like the whole but the main thing is the sucker. This suck really that.

Things God, Okay, we will talk about it. We won't talk about it.

But I love scary Brian.

I feel bad for you. That's so scary.

So sorry.

I'm just sorry that he's in constant pain.

And then I was supposed to get my mattres delivered today, mattress, but you Benkikipedic fucked up so bad. I had to call them and be like the act the incompetence, I said, the phrase the incompetence on display right now is astonishing.

Because on display, I mean they've been mattress for.

Months here for months.

Say yeah, they were supposed to take this mattress away and get me a refund for it. Instead, they refunded me for the mattress I bought and canceled my delivery. Now I'm still stuck with this ship mattress probably a credit card. My credit card has a negative four thousand dollars balance, which is also not good because they refunded me for my mattress. This is just insane how much temperpedic gets sucked up. So I have no tooth, I've got no mattress, I mean. And then there's another thing.

I'm just.

I've just been dealing with incompetence and I just don't know if it's every buddy is stupid?

Is everyone just yet any spectrum I'll find you and old?

They're like I have read that our parents, a lot of baby boomers were around, like they just took lead out of gasoline in nineteen ninety two, So we've all been exposed to lead in our lifetimes and it's catching up to people. And especially even before nineteen ninety two, lead was everywhere. And that's why baby boomers are kind of going cuckoo quicker than they maybe should, is because there's like there's lead exposure.

What about some of these people are not Wait when do they How old is the youngest baby boomer?

Don't ask me that.

I told you never to ask me that.

How old?

What is football? Well, like, I don't really know.

The six four, so I.

Have fifty seven to seventy five.

Well, I don't know where you're getting your data, but whoa mine is? From Wikipedia nineteen forty six to sixty four seems to be okay.

Okay, So what happened in on your trip to Dallas with your friends to go see?

Oh I went to go see the Cowboys and the Jets. Cowboys Stadium is amazing. But I had this in this ridiculous experience at the concession stand. So I want to ask you guys this question. When you're at a concession stand or a clothing store or Whole Foods or something like that, you know how you can have multiple registers separate lines. Yeah, yes, and then you get on the line and you just hope and pray that you have the fast one, right, yes, how do you assess which one is going to be the fast?

I look at the I look at the guy doing the checkout. They see how fastest arms are moving, and the age of people in line, though, Oh really, I look at how many items they have. I look at the and I look at how fast the cashier is working, and how efficient they seem to be, how long they've been working there, how tattered their name tag might be, if they have a process like they seem to like have the like they're just yeah, they don't seem like they're training.

And I usually just bet on that.

And I always just know in my heart I will always pick the wrong line, So don't worry about it.

No matter what I do, it.

Will be the slowest line because it's just the way life goes, and that's going to be okay.

So then sometimes I try to go against my gut.

Because I while you're in line, okay, so what happened you did not mention was shortness of the line, So you wouldn't just automatically jump to the one that has the least no.

Because they might have the most items.

And then the slowest person that like doesn't know how to work the machine is being trained and you know stuff like that.

Yeah, and so I went to, now this is you can't just be on your phone in this situation because it's concessions at a football game. So like, the longer you're on that line, the more of the game you're missing. So you've got to get this is so important to get in and out.

I was on this line a punt or a rush or a blitz. I've learned all these words.

Yes, yes, I was on this line with my friend Charlie, and I wanted to get a Bavarian pretzel.

And the person on this line.

That reminds me of.

Made that.

In the throes and adjectives that do paint a picture.

But I was pret on the board because.

This isn't a Bavarian.

And also you need to with Matt, who pronounces everything on its Bavarian.

I think it's Bavarian. Who would say Bavarian?

Here do you say, Maria? Everyone says Bavarian? Yeah, I like you kept pronouncing when we were hanging out. That really irritated me.

It was.

Yeah, yeah, we're talking about ovarian cancer. No, it was something, No, it was Stevia. You kept saying, and I was, like I've said eighteen times.

He's always like Mike, he's a vagan, right, she's a vegan.

Vegan is.

Vegan because that's the star system, and that that would confuse because anyway.

Your Bavarian pretzel, I wanted to.

A Mari impression, so delicious refreshing corel water sprite.

Okay, Oh, I don't drink core water. They had core water.

Right with the blue top. Yeah, I know what you're talking about, is that? So I remember those.

I went to the stadium I think, to see and they made us pour those core waters into the pilastic cups so that we wouldn't throw them.

Matter.

So you've been to the AT and T Stadium.

Yes, I have been there.

Maybe you've seen an amazing stadium, right, yeah, I think so.

Yeah, I went to nine shows, so it's it's the albowg But yes.

Okay, So before people get on my case about this, I want to say that I too, worked for eight dollars an hour in the food industry in a deli for seven years. So I'm getting on this guy because I'm imagining me there or someone who I worked with the deli there. There was a kid twenties. I was fourteenth thirteen when I started working, twelve twelve going into thirteen when I started working at the Delhi Legal Yeah.

It was totally yeah, so illegal.

And the guy used to like working there, like flirtatiously his manager. He used to stick with the.

Take care brush your hair, take ca brush your hair every daystick.

Your buttole yeah, or as Brian pronounced it, take car brush your car.

So this kid, this twenty something year old kid, looked so dumb. He looked so confused. The person there was two people in front of us, and the person the person online wanted two hot dogs. The hot dogs were right behind this kid on one of those roly things right behind. You could just reach behind you and grab a hot dog, and the buns were next to the hot dogs. The guy asked him for two hot dogs, and the look on his face it was as if he said, we're so hot dogs here. He was so confused,

Gone for four minutes. He comes back, he's gone.

You and a twenty year old like looking at each other, like, what's going on? Where four minutes is a long time?

Yes, I mean I where everyone was like what the fuck is happening? And meanwhile, like the cowboys are driving down the field and we're like missing the game, and it's like this is so annoying.

We plaid fourth down.

Eight fourth down, it like yeah. He comes out of the back and he's like, oh my god.

He find he sees the buns.

He picks up the two buns, and he walks right past the hot dogs again and goes into the back with the two buns.

And then he's gone for like eight minutes.

No possible eight minutes. That's exaggeration. We were a revolt.

We were on line for the hell he was on he was He went in the back for like eight minutes.

Is there another register you can jump over to.

There's so many registers, they're all moving slowly. But this guy, and we could not believe what was happening. He goes back with the two buns for eight minutes. When he comes back, he lost the buns. He comes back with nothing. He doesn't even have the buns anymore.

And then he's saying is saying, he's anyone questioning him.

He goes up, he starts talking with somebody. He's trying to find out what's happening. He finally takes he finally sees that the hot dogs are right behind him. He takes the buns, puts them down, puts a hot dog in each bun and then he just leaves them there behind the counter and he doesn't even and so why.

Isn't the guy yelling at him like hey.

He's like, aren't they picking my hot dogs?

And he's so confused because he knows like he needs to get like a plastic container or something. He doesn't know where those are. So about thirty forty minutes pass and then they give this guy his hot dog and then I said to my friend, I gotta go. I can't do this. My friend wanted to stay. When my friend, after the guy gets the hot dogs and leaves, the next person's up. They they pull this cashier like they cut him mid game because he was so bad, and

And think how hard his life is being dumb or disability.

Yeah, brain, Yes, there's something going on. He might have had an anxiety football himself. Yeah, or yeah, he was having anxiety. Something's going on.

I had the same thing happened this weekend when I was checking in the hotel all in Chicago. I had a suite and I guess the suite has like two entrances. So on the computer, this girl that was training it looked like two rooms to her.

So she was like, there's two rooms under your name. I'm texting on you.

I'm texting my assistant Jen. I'm like, why do we two rooms under my name? And I go, well, we don't want one of the rooms. We just want this suite.

And so we're.

Waiting and she's clicking and clacking on the thing, and then she pulls over a manager and a manager's like, so you don't want the two rooms and I'm like, no, we just want one room. She goes, okay, so you want you just want a normal room and I'm like, no, we want a suite. And she was like, hold on, we'll get my manager. It took like it took fifteen minutes, which is a long time to wait when there's no

But it's totally fine. We just got the suite. And then Chris is like, no, she.

Thought there were two rooms because the suite looked like two rooms on her computer.

I was like, oh, he like made it all make sense to me.

And I was like, that's like the struggle of just getting with someone who just started working there, when you're like with someone who's I always go to Starbucks and I can tell when they like look at the cup really hard and they're like, so ways to get so hold on, she put that and they go to their manager and they go this and they go, Okay, that means half decap. That means you're going to do this, and now press this button. It's like, why'd you just press the button?

And I'm just standing there, but it's it's hard out there.

It's hard out there.

Need a different job if you can't find a hut.

I was fired from a temp job, which is almost kind of impossible. Like they were like, this isn't temporary enough. It was I had one more day left, and they called me and they're like, you can't do this. Same Moore because I couldn't.

Work the phones. I just did not understand the phones.

So I understand having some sort of like dyslexia for some sort of information. I thought I was football lexic. I thought I couldn't understand football. I'm starting to get that starting to all kind of make sense to me a little bit. I can like watch a play and go, oh, I see what they're trying to do here. I see what just happened. The numbers are starting to make sense. I'm still confused.

There are things.

I'm the stats coming up and I go, Chris, what does that many yards rushed?

Mean?

What is that?

Why is that? Why is that number there? Why there's so many numbers? I mean, it's just incredible to me. And Chris is like, this is gonna be really fun. We're gonna get a board. I'm gonna have little things I'm gonna teach you, and I'm.

Like, oh, we don't need to take it to that.

I don't need to get but we're gonna have a board on my I'm gonna like, really learn the game of football. I think, Andy, I mean maybe I wouldn't be interested in that because you look at stats and stuff and then you pick people there on that side.

Or their name.

Well, this brings us to why do I care for today? Because it's football related? So why don't we just get to it? Because I need to address this. It's in, it's in the zeitgeist. People are talking about it. Let's do it.

Why do I care? All right, Noah, what's the headline? And why do I care?

Okay, the headline is, and you tell me if you care. Taylor Swift wears rumored new bo Travis Kelcey's birthstone on necklace during NYC outing a mid dating speculation from the Daily Mail.

Yep, there is dating speculation of her dating Travis kelce from the Chiefs. I really didn't like this at first because this all started with Travis kelce is the court is he the quarterback tight end tight end for the Chiefs, which.

Is a position all my stuff and then uh, he what is a tight end? By the way, I don't know what that is.

It's a guy who's on the line. Is a pass catching alignment. So he's on the line. He can block sometimes for runners or to defend against a sack. But then you can also go out for a pass and catch a pass.

Okay, all right, I feel like I'm doing duo lingo and I just like kind of understood.

I like got it. I got passed to the next level.

I went to music and I started hearing Wichita Lineman.

Oh yeah, that sounds pretty good.

So the tight end catch caught the pass from the quarterback and ran and he was able to rush and get a touchdown.

No, what's a a rush?

Is like a pass? And when you hand off the ball, yeah.

The handoff and is a pass is a throw?

A handoff always seems to me like a pass because you're like, here you go, and I keep calling a hand off a pass.

Okay, I'm getting it straight.

So anyway, Travis Kelcey is a tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs. When he went to aristour in Kansas City, he wanted to give Taylor Swift a friendship bracelet that had his number on it, not his football number, his actual number, because he has a crush owner and wanted to meet her. No, it's not. I thought it was annoying. I thought it was just another attempt to get your name in the press. And it's like and there was some line about him being like, she doesn't meet people before the show.

So I was kind of bummed.

Out, and it just annoyed me because when people want to meet me when I don't feel like it before a show or after a show, I'm like, yeah, don't get mad at me. You don't have a right to get benned out. There was you didn't buy a fucking pass and I canceled it. You never had a chance to come back here. You made up a thing that you should get to do, and now you're disappointed that you don't get to meet me. There was never that on the board for you. So what you get to

Well, I don't really want a famous person would ever say that there's no way he said that.

I think that was his quote was, Yeah, he was bummed out that he didn't get.

To meet her.

With his brothers.

When you look up the quote about the friendship the friendship bracelet Brian that he tried to give her, and then the quote of him saying, I was bummed out.

I just think it's.

Cute to put his number on a friendship bracelet. Yeah, that's just my happen.

Great, that's cute. It is cute.

I definitely think it's cute. But I'm just like, what makes you think that she has to meet you just because.

You are famous? Bummed out? Because maybe he could. He probably doesn't know about famous people.

Maybe he doesn't know he's he's a really famous football player.

Yes, but people are trying to meet him.

Yes they are, Oh my god, he's he's again.

And it bothered you because he's egotistical enough to think she should I should get to meet her life and meet him.

Yeah, like Travis Kelsey is here, I should, you know, jeopardize my vocal strain to go meet him before a show. Clearly it is the fact that I have a They didn't. But then he was bummed out, Like I don't like.

The li here's what the transcript is. I'm just playing the video and reading it as they're saying it.

How was it.

Yeah, well, I was disappointed that she doesn't talk before or after her shows because she has to save her voice for the forty four songs that she sings.

So I was a little butt hurt.

I didn't get to hand her one of the bracelets I made for you made her a bracelet. Yeah, if you're up on Taylor's Swift concerts, there are friendship bracelets, and I received a bunch of them being there, but I wanted to give Taylor Swift one with my number on it. All right, Nah, your number as an eighty seven or your phone number, you know which one.

Everyone's laughing.

She doesn't meet anybody, or at least she didn't want to meet me, so I took it personal. She probably just hasn't gotten over the Super Bowl yet. She's a big fan of the Eagles. Yeah, madsthing Up just didn't want to talk to you, damn it. That's it.

Yeah, that's find of annoying. No, you think it's cute.

I agree, he said.

I was a little disappointed that she doesn't meet people before or after shows, she has to save her voice. There's nothing wrong with saying that.

But he thinks like, well, she would want to meet me, and she would get this, don't.

You don't get singers are He doesn't realize, like you have to your voice is something that you have to like protect.

But you wouldn't be annoyed if someone wanted to go meet you. And then when when you were when they tell them Anya doesn't meet people before shows, they be a little bit like, I'm butt hurt.

Because he's roasting himself.

Okay, I do like himself.

Okay, I'm on board, but when I do have to say, when I heard the butt hurt part, I thought that was actually endearing. And then when I first read it, I think this is the way that things can be taken enough context and give me a bad Like.

When I first read that, I was just like, oh, or.

You said that you didn't get to meet her because you get to meet everyone and you just run the city and you think she comes to your city that she's going to be dying to meet you. It's like, I just thought it was a little entitled. But I think I see it from your point of view now, which is like he he is famous. He did think that maybe he had a chance, because why wouldn't he. I think maybe if I was as famous as Travis kelce I think maybe I'd have a shot with Taylor Swift too.

So it is endearing.

And apparently they are dating, or like the quote has been, they've been quietly dating, which makes me laugh because I picture they just get together.

They sit in a love.

Scene and they don't talk and they just look at each other's eyes and they like.

They create.

Headline saying she's wearing his birthstone.

That I know sue me, is this camera?

No, it's fucking specific because listen, Taylor Swift does communicate in her jewelry. In her fashion, she will like Easter egg the shit out of things and tell us about what's coming up. So I do I have to say, until I heard this headline, I did not think her and Travis Kelcey were actually talking. And now I do think they are talking because she would not this. It's too big of a coincidence that that's his birthstone.

I think that.

And she also is kind of like a you know, she's a person that's like interested in star signs, I think, and stuff like that, and she believes in like she would. She he's so smart and so cryptic and so good at doing like stuff like this that could be deniability in it.

That's just that's just a coincidence.

But also she knows she doesn't wear things without thinking about what they could mean. And so I do think this is a confirmation that they are probably talking. And by all accounts, Travis Kelcey, anyone who knows of him and listens to his podcast. I my friend Robin, she vouched for him. Everyone seems to love this guy. So I am so on board and I used to be not on board, and I think I was just because I was jealous because I want to I wanna date.

He's a lovable he's certainly not cool. He's not cool like a like a famous singer or something.

He is a lot. I like it.

Yeah, so yeah, last night she was at dinner with Greta Gerwig and Laura Dern.

They were quietly zo many kravits. They were quietly eating.

That's a weird bunch.

No, it's a people are interested because Greta Gerwig obviously is the IT director and Taylor Shift is also a director.

And oh, probably thought we.

Were talking about the girl that's like the young environmentalist that's so funny.

Yeah, okay, so I'm actually on board with this.

I just wanted to be happy.

I think my initial instincts with anything about Taylor is like, unless she tells us, I don't really believe it. And I feel like this was kind of her way of giving a little bit of a wink and a nod

But do send me any other swifty things? Question? Answer if I mean you start.

Dating someone for less than two weeks and they started to wear your birthstone?

Creep.

Taylor falls fast. Taylor doesn't fuck around. Yeah, when she knows, she knows, but tff.

That is ad according to what you believe. Girlfriend, not good to be so vulnerable.

I don't mind her falling fast because she's a romantic and I like to fall fast, like I love when I meet someone and I'm just like, I'm like, you just know. I like the stories of like we just knew, and like I like that she doesn't take things slow. That's what has made her the artist that she is, is that she feels so passionate. At least so to me, it's her and him doing a little like what can I.

Do the smallest thing I can do?

That is a slight nod to the fact that we might be talking and it's like our personal inside joke and he's like, you can wear my burstone. But it was like an inside joke with them. Okay, something does not concern me.

Interesting.

One last thing about this is that before we go to break, Travis Kelcey when they when they were supposedly first started getting together, he was injured.

So he didn't play week one of the of the season.

His penis was injured. He entered her typed and which is a different type.

He was injured, and then and then after this report came out, he came back for week two and I believe I'm looking it up right now, he caught a touchdown pass when he came back.

Right, Is that like a remarkable thing?

That's he does it almost every time he played.

All the time. He's very good. Okay, all right, groove.

Not that it matters what I think about this at all. Taylor is a out to live her life and hate is gonna hate, hate, hate, and I'm gonna weigh in all the time, but it doesn't matter.

Taylor, live your life. We love you, and I'm sorry I haven't talked about your personal life. All right, let's go to break. We'll be right back, and we're back.

I'm headed to New York tonight. I'm gonna stay with Saralna in the house. You are, Yeah, And it's apparently she got it. It was haunted, so I was a little bit scared. But they had someone come in and get rid of the ghosts.

Oh, I didn't hear about that. I can't wait.

Yeah, the girl's chat was a blaze with this ghost named Michael that was living in her house. But then she had a person come to the house and cleanse it like her cleaning. People were not wanting they left because they were like, the mops keep getting pushed over and there's weird puddles everywhere, and I was like, is that money?

No, they were like too scared. They were like, there is a ghost here and we're scared.

We're gonna do anymore. He's gonna make a puddle.

That's what I've said. I'm like, what's wrong with a mockt and dushed over? But people are creeped out. They were hearing voices in the elevator and numb and so anyway, the ghost is gone though, so I feel safe saying there tonight.

And I can't see ghosts. So it's fine, but there was a part of me that was a little creepy.

On record all night, will you please?

Okay?

In the just gonna hear me fart and like wake up coughing like the guy in seven, Sloth Victim, sloth victim in seven, Taylor one time I quoted that because I sometimes wake up in the whole night my mouth is so dry and I just start choking. I like choke myself awake, and I'm just like, if you've ever seen the movie seven, when they find the sloth victim, they think he's dead and Brad Pitt gets really close up in his face and then the guy comes to life, just going.

That is me in the middle of the night, probably three.

Times a week, stagging.

But yeah, I'm going to New York and I'm hosting an event for women in media and communications. Sorry, and then I'm going to this weekend perform at a country club on Friday night that is my money manager's country club. And they don't He's like, they're gonna love it. Say whatever you want. I think there's something I shan't say.

No, They're going to be like drinking.

But I can't say the N word a lot. I'm sure, yes, and I've always wanted the freedom to do that.

I'm just kidding.

I just think country clubs no offense to them. I've already done it by the time this Oh no, no, this is going to air actually the night before I do it. But there's something about country clubs that really annoy me and I because I think they.

Want but I don't want to talk to anyone else.

Yeah, I don't like you know, I went golfing once in Cabo, and I talked about this on the pod back then when it happened. But I wasn't wearing a collared shirt, so they like wouldn't let me club, And I was like, that is a thing. A collar SIT's an expensive thing worn by hoity toity white cunts, and that's what they want on their club and so they have to like make some dumb rule about it, like why does that make me like be able to play golf at your dumb club that you think is important

It seems like it costs a lot to join it.

And it just but but they're nice, dirty about it.

Oh yeah, they're nice if you like golf.

Yeah, that's the other thing. You have to like golf. All the country clubs you have to like talk. But you know, it's just about getting a community. Even if you're even if you're a rich fuck, you still need to have a community around you in order to be happy.

And that's where it is about community. If you want to like.

Country clubs a little bit more, just watch curfet enthusiasm because they.

Are that kind of makes me like it. That's what I was literally just thinking of of, like, well, they're not so bad. Larry enjoys a good lunch with Jeff and the guy that talks like this, Yeah. Yeah, And Vince Vaughan is there sometimes.

Yeah.

I let you know, I like, I like I can get behind it. I'll probably I've been to some you know, Christmas Eve dinners at country clubs Algonquin gone, Yeah, you've been there. Yeah, but yeah, I'm I'm just I think I'm already getting ahead of them hating me.

So I'm trying to hate on them. This is what I do. It's a defense mechanism.

Larry feel like they're not gonna like me, and so I'm like already getting breshed. But I'm sure they're going to be very nice and like very up for laughing at horrifying things. And then Saturday we'll be in Anglewood, Jersey. So come to that show if you guys live in New Jersey, because I think pretty much anywhere in New Jersey like you can get to anywhere in New Jersey.

It's very close to Manhattan too.

It's just a horse speed limits too.

Oh that's great.

So take fucking ferrier, the path train or whatever and get there.

Yeah, I'm and it's my birthday.

Oh, oh my god?

What day is your birthday?

Saturday night?

Oh my god, that'll be so fun. What shall we do?

We shall sing songs and laugh and as well?

Who take your Shoes off?

Pod is going to be there opening for me, and I'm so excited because he's such a fun hang, just.

Like a good hang behind the scenes.

Wait on youa I got to get you a gift? What do you want for? You think gifts are burdens?

And you were like from Billy's Bakery, the one that I had at my wedding. That would be amazing.

Okay, I got a cake.

I can bring it, I can just get it.

Well that seems crazy, Okay, well that's okay. But what do you want to diamonds? Give me diamonds?

I know, but you do you say the gifts are burdens.

I know what I want. I want a platinum wallet. It's three hundred and thirty dollars and it's going to be at the store up the street at my house. I told Matt about it. He was like he started coughing like the guy in seven.

What's a platinum wallet?

It's no, it's by il Bissone, this brand that I love and they have like this silvery Why.

Do you even know about a brand called ilb I've had this perse Do you have a favorite brand? It's just an Italian.

I happened to buy a purse by them a long time ago in Portland and I just love it. It's classic and it's very beautiful and very expensive.

That's what I want.

And then it's why is it called a platinum It's just shiny silver, silvery old. Okay, yeah, but that's not I don't know. I just want to be with you and have fun, honestly and have cakes.

Well, then that's what I'll give you.

Yeah, just my presence and I'll put on some deodorant.

And a three hundred bonus would be great just for the night, and that's okay. I worked last year on my birthday. Do you guys like working on your birthday? It makes you feel.

Working on performing show? It's I don't want to work in the coal mines on my birthday.

Yeah, I wouldn't want to work at at and T Hot Dog Stamp Stadium.

Oh, get off early because you suck at it.

Yeah, performing it doesn't feel like work necessarily got no way right now?

It does work?

No, I mean the Anya does a lot of work that isn't the performing part. But the performing part. Do you feel like that's like, oh.

Work, It's the best. It's so fun. I always wish it was longer. It's so much fun. It goes by so fast. We have so much fun on stage singing together. It's kind of fun to be nervous on this tour because I'm like, oh, I'm like a little rusty. I've been taking voice lessons though, and I'm like noticing all these parts of my voice that I was like scared of before. Now I'm slowly like venturing into new territory. So that's been kind of fun. No, I love it. It's a blast. And it's so fun to meet people

Feel bad because they're not for sale online, and I know people are like why not, and so the answer is, I don't fucking know.

I don't know how to run my life.

It's can you imagine person listening to this, Like you have a website and then you also have a merch store and you got to find it. In order to have merch, you have to like store the merch and then you have to have someone like package it and send it. And yes you can have like third party vendors do that, but I don't know how do.

Any of it.

It's there's just so much to this job that I don't I'm not good at doing your own business.

Yeah, it's it's it's it's.

Just come to the shows. You have to come to the show to get this shirt, and we're touring all over and after the tour is wrapped, we'll figure out a way to get them to you if you want to order them online, but for now, just come to shows and get them. They're so soft and so evil looking, and I love them.

It's like a skull.

It's like a skull with barbarire and a microphone.

Roses, It's go thic.

We'll come off on from it.

Anya's wearing the shirt on the Eric Andrey episode, which was on yesterday, Eric Andry episode.

You're going to get like forty five emails from companies now telling asking you to be their merch store person.

We know that, we already know they all honestly, it's like, it isn't that hard to do, And eventually we'll probably move to like doing those QR codes where people in the lobby will just like, I am a thing and buy a shirt and it'll get shipped to them.

But for now, but it's fun to walk out with a thing that you drop in the parking lot and go, why the fuck did you drop that jewelry?

I don't know why my mom is screaming at herself a third person, but that's how many. Like one time I was at a concert and I like, if you go to concerts, you can find merch on the ground all the time because people aren't used to like carrying a shirt, so they'll always drop it.

There's merch everyone, and it's all over for that.

Yes, your dog situated metric shirt, my dog situation. The doggies aren't here right now, but final thought, so I was going to get a foster dog in Los Angeles from may Day Rescue, who Natalie was on the podcast and she also she was the one that found me Luigi and Marion and they are now living with my parents and they're happy and my parents won't give them back to me, so that is fine with me because they have a great life with them.

But I want to get another dog.

So I almost got the dog of that woman who died, but then she didn't decide not to give it to me.

I told that on the podcast all day. Yeah, no, she died, but she didn't even know existed.

She died. And then they were like, we got to give this dog to someone. And then I almost got that dog, but then I did it, and so then that Chris and I had a conversation around that dog and it really made us realize we want to get a dog, and that one fell through, so we were like, let's actually get one. So we went to the Humane Society or like the North Valley north Central Valley Shelter in LA on my last day there, and we met this dog that curse in his named Carlos. Just from

That Carlos Santana song was big at the time. Then the shooting and the shooting in the ConA cin the money that song making a way to make it better.

I haven't heard that song since like nineteen ninety eight.

It's very memorable.

But it was like Maria, Maria, your mammy of the Wisside story. So then that there was a part of going up in Spanish Harlem, living the laughters like a movie star.

And then then one part of goes played by Carlos Santana.

Okay, so we like this play Carlos Santana. So we got this duck and for some reason Kirsten was like, you should name it played by Carlos and Quakers. I don't know why, but it was just because that song was so big. If you haven't noticed, in high school, we would just take a song and put other words and do it like come a lady, come come Ahladi, give him a butterfly, sugar bonus and then so this we did played by Carlos Sunquakers, and so we named

So then I told Natalie that.

So anyway, we took out Carlos, we played with him, and then Chris and I wanted to go to brunch and then go see we had tickets to Oppenheimer and we were like, we can't adopt this dog today because like we can't go back home, like we're going we have a full day and I'm an hour away from where I live and we can't just leave the dog in the hotel room. And then so I was like I can't get him today. But then he just goes back in this like metal cage, like it's so sad.

She was like, you can get him then, but.

We'll get him spade and we'll get him teeth cleaning, and then you can pick him up and you can foster him and then if you feel like it's a good match, you can keep him, and if not, we'll find a place for him.

So he was like, that's perfect.

So we left and we go home and Chris and I are like, is this the right dog for us? It kind of has longer hair than we want, like we had its hair like all over us, and we were kind of like, oh no, but we.

Were also like, we don't.

We can't be like I at laggig of its hair, Like you just have you just have to take the dog for what it is.

You just get one of those little roly things. It's gonna be okay.

And we were kind of like, it's a little bit bigger than we want it to be because we kind of want a dog that's very easy to carry around. Really, the perfect dog for me was this dog, the Dead Woman's dog. But I didn't get it because he was little, he was quiet, and he didn't bark, and he was very short haired. But I also was like, I'm going to take this dog. I'm going to foster it at least, and it'll be fine. But then Natalie called me the other day or she texted me and was like, hey.

Can you call me back? I need to talk to you.

And I was like, oh my god, I'm in trouble because I think she probably noticed that I was not as keen on Carlos as I wanted to be, because I haven't been asking for pictures of him, and I haven't been like doing what adoptive mother should be doing of like send me every video. She's gonna be mad at me, and I just don't want to disappoint her. And then so I was like telling Chris like, I'm

But get dog peeing at night, the dog having to go pee, yeah, down twelve flights.

Yes, oh, not that you have to walk on the stair, but yes, just having like yeah, it's just like or you know, something goes wrong with the dog, you gotta take the There's like it's a responsibility. So I'm just I'm enjoying this calm of my life right now where I don't have a dog, but I can't wait to get one because I'm gonna bring him on the road with me and he's gonna be a little backstage dog.

He's gonna trot out on the stage coas We'll be like, where's MoMA.

And I'll be like I'm out here, and then he'll come out and the audience will cheer, and then he'll get scared and run away and it'll be so much fun, and uh, yeah, that's what's going on the rect Do.

You want to get a lot easier because you have Chris living with you so you don't slow responsibility of taking care of the dog.

Well, I told him that I actually will, Like this is a thing I want more than he wants.

He's not like opposed to it at all.

He's actually in love with Yes, he will, but he just like he did Luigi and Marion. But we've already talked about it, like I'm the main person who's going to take them out and feed them and like be I'm gonna be like the mom in a very traditional sense.

And then he will.

He's like, I'm happy to take them out when you don't feel like it, Like I'll step in and do anything you need for these dogs. But I like the understanding that this is like your thing, and I'm like, that's what I want. All I asked him for is that he call it our dog and not my dog, because I don't want him on radio being like Nikki's dog. It will make it more special to me if it's our dog, just like husband, unless we break up and

Anya mad people always get back to that though, all right, that would be.

Hard split up and had a dog animals, and it always agreed that it was Burke's cat had to do everything.

After add if Burke d d I didn't do it. If the cat ever would stop using the toilet, then it would be an outdoor cat everything.

And nope, I just forgot that you trained that cat to use a toilet.

Yes, and outdoor cats are bullshit. You should know that they kill so many birds. No outdoor cats, wad.

Stone, he was indoor and rip Mulchi he got killed.

Rip Wait, I'm sorry, but Taylor did Malchi pee in the toilet?

Yeah?

He peeed and pooped in the toilet.

How did you?

How did you? When you don't even do that, you.

Go inside like a goddamn mad man. He had a so a toilet and it had bigger and bigger rings that you would pop out, and you put less and less litter in it until he just balanced on the seat.

Oh so you can buy like Training City kitty.

Oh my god, it's really cool. I recommend it has to be a kitten. I think, doesn't he have to?

But you can't teach an old kid.

He didn't flush because he was too little yet, and then he reverted to his old ways he used. Oh my god, that.

All right. We have to go.

Thank you guys for watching, listening. Whatever you did with the pot, we so appreciate it. Taylor, thank you for being here in person. Manya and Brian, Thank you guys. Noah, thank you. I will see you this week in Englewood, New Jersey. Y'all come out to the show if you're available in the area.

And dates with David Spathe this month, Oh yeah, and it will be at Dave Yeah the twenty ninth and thirtieth Yeah in Las Vegas September twenty ninth and thirtieth.

Anya will also be at those, just in the in the background though. She will be there hanging out with us, and we will be working on our Taylor Swift cover band, The Blank spaces that is, you know, TBD when we'll release that. But yeah, follow our Instagram for us to play before shows, because that's the way Anya and I like to warm up for shows, is to go live on Instagram and play a bunch of Taylor Swift songs and now Vampire by a little Roberto that's in our

Okay, so watch it is.

It's a good scorched earth. So thank you for listening. Don't Beka and Di Di Di

Souls what he wants