The nick A Gliser Podcast, Nick Glaser, here's Nikky. Hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's Nicky Glazer Podcast. Fresh week of Shows. Everyone's here, the whole gang. Brian Frangie on your Marina and Noah is in Arizona. Guys, what's up? How is your weekends? Anything? Any headlines? Because mine was pretty uneventful. I'm a song. Oh we all have so much stuff. Brian, would you like re recording a song?
I am re re recording a song of mine from the past, and it's been fun and a challenge and I realized I really hate mixing, but the recording, the writing part is fun.
What does that mean is fun?
Mixing is like just tweaking stuff. So it's all been it's been written, it's been recorded, and now it's like, can we bring the cello? Like it's going, did hit?
Did edit?
Can we have it?
God?
Did it? Did did it? It's just like, okay, that'll take forty five minutes. It's just tedious TV.
Isn't that nice because you can go like I want the shell to go. Did it?
It?
Did? Did it? And I'm gonna go make a tea and go sit and pet my dog for forty minutes. Like I like when things take long to have to do because then I have time, Like I'm doing something, but I'm I can't do it. I mean, you're not the one making the cello go dead in it. You know.
That's a good attitude to have, and that's what I should do. I did get a lot of wordle done and a lot of spelling bees done, so while I was oh saying too.
I think what you're saying is the mixing is kind of like the editing for my specials, which have always been the worst weeks of my entire life. And I'm I say that with no hyperbole. The worst times of my life have been editing my specials because I have to look at myself, listen to myself, make choices just and mostly like, look at myself. But you don't seem to have a problem listening to yourself, Like I do you do you hear stuff and go God, I wish I could do that again. No, it's no.
In fact, I'm like that was good, and they're like, we should redo that.
I'm like, I think it's good.
It's charming, Like my guitar parts are I don't know. I used to hate my voice a lot, but you get used to it. It's been so many years, you know. But I would hate looking at myself. I think I would. I could not stand that, Like I have to make a video for this song, and I am dreading it, absolutely dreading it, But you.
Couldn I can watch myself on mute. I can't listen to myself because I just get annoyed with why didn't you write a funnier line? Why did you why did you emphasize that word instead of that word? I think that so much of the artistry of stand up is
actually I mean, it is the audio. The visual is like I'm always like, oh, my hair and makeup looks good and my dress looks cute, Like, well, I can't really like fuck with that, but the rest is all up to me, Like I can blame my makeup on my makeup girl and my parents for making my face look like that because each other.
Stand up is like it's always evolving, whereas a song usually it's like, okay, now it's done. When you record it, it's done. But stand up, I guess you're always kind of working on that. I guess with music it's sort of the same, like that music. I was still the same way of like that lyric could be better. Oh that lyric is I know you have things where you're like, ah, that was a c that lyric. I didn't really work that hard and I could have made it an a
but like we just wanted to finish the song. But you just feel like it's more once you recorded, it's set in stone and you don't have regrets about it. Actually,
I did have that. This is Satellite Heart from the Twilight soundtrack, which I kind of want to release Anya's version because I never did own the master of that because I had to sell it to the Twilight people when it was on the soundtrack, and I really wanted to redo it with Cello's and like something more organic, and so now it's it sounds so cool, But re recording it, I'm like, wait, how this song is very It's like all the same tone and the thing that
makes it dramatic is all the other shit, like Cello's coming in here, taking them away. Then there's drama, then there's one the weird note here. But it's like I didn't write that. I wrote a pretty like basic, pretty song that stays in this zone of like mah. So when I was recording it, I'm like, fuck, this is boring, But it's not when it's finished, you know, when like all the things have been added. But yeah, on its own, I was.
Would you like Doney's version, Taylor Swift not done Taylor's versions? Were you inspired by rerecording? Like, because I feel like a lot of artists are starting to re record things after I wasn't inspired to re record it.
I've wanted to do that for years because I'm like, I want to own this song. I want to put it out myself. I almost did it on my my live album a couple albums ago, but for some dumb reason, I just didn't get to it. But I was inspired to title it that. But now I'm like, maybe I won't because I don't want to be like, you know, like Taylor's.
Yeah, I mean it would be. I think it's cool that she did that.
I think it's great when artists re record their stuff, and it's great that she's been doing it like so fast because.
It's becomes a story voice mature actually, because it's like yours is like ten fifteen years later, right.
I was just a being them back to back, like the old version and the new one, and I was like, fuck, did I nail it in the old one? And I did, but I sang a little differently, Like there's this one line call It's about Bellow when she's depressed in Twilight, and the little line that I wrote is, call on all your girls, don't forget the boys, meaning call your friends, don't forget to date other people too. Just because this vampire left, you don't like become you know, a depressed
person sitting at home. But I sang it in the original call on all your girls, don't forget the blaze. It's like, okay, all right, little lady, like I was this time, you're not doing that buzze yeah, like you're not doing it like that. I was like, what was I doing? I mean, it's kind of cool. I never noticed it. Listening back, I was like, Okay, somebody's feeling it.
Feeling it. Do you think your voice sounds different? Because on Taylor's different versions you can hear like you can hear the maturation of her voice. I mean, granted, she recorded a lot of these songs when she was eighteen, so like there's been a lot of a change. Your voice stops bearing at thirty three, So if you recorded thirty three, it's kind of doesn't change after that unless you want it eight or whatever.
But now and see how different it is because she was really young.
And she did so different. Yeah, we'll speak now, and Fearless is before to speak now, and she's done re records of that too, so yeah, it just it sounds, you can just it sounds like a girl singing and
then it sounds like a woman. And also I spent all weekend watching vocal coaches on Instagram assessing Taylor's voice, and they do the right thing, which is they never say anything bad because they know better, so it's never like they're a was just like and they play examples of her belting out you know something from I Knew You were trouble at like some awards show in twenty seventeen, and then they do it now and it's really interesting because they just some of them, some of them are
really annoying and they're like, oh, her dress is so pretty. I'm like, that's not what you're here for. Tell me what she's doing with her mouth and her breath, and like they're like, oh, look at her, she's a little fairy. She is so cute. It's like, stop sucking up to the swifties watching this. We all know you like her, We all like we're on board. Ye. And so my makeup by lady was doing my makeup and I was watching them yesterday and I just kept screaming at like,
we get it. You think she's cute, you're a vocal coach. Tell us what she's doing, What about her secret, why she's saying mon instead of mine? And what that does tour like, teach me the way.
Yes, I've been taking vocal lessons. I told you with Charlotte Martin, who's fucking blowing my mind and irony of all ironies. Charlotte is the ex wife of Ken Andrews, who produced Satellite Heart for the Twilight soundtrack. So he it's just weird that at this, like fourteen years later, I'm re recording a song and now I just have to by coincidence, just by coincidence, I'm recording a song that my vocal teacher's ex husband like made.
So you knew her through him, right? Yeah?
I had met her years ago. She's an incredible singer songwriter, and now she's teaching and she's like kicking my ass. I've only had two lessons with her, but I like her so much. She's insane. She I've like stalked her on Instagram started during the pandemic. I'm just like, who Charlotte is wild? Like, but uh, she's like teaching me to sing and I'm trying to hit a note and.
She's like, tighten your asshole, Tighten your asshole. My my, my vocal coach does the same thing. Try to like squash a peanut with your asshole when you're trying to hit a high note, because it it I don't know what it does, but it does. But he he always tells me. He's like, he's like, do a key goal. Like he's like trying not to talk about He's like, dude, whatever it is that you guys do down there to
tighten He's trying to be very respectful. So yeah, when you go for a high note, tighten up down there, your asshole, your keygels and it does work. Wait, so that's how Mariah Carey gets those whistle tones. No, she is, she's naturally just a really she just her body probably does that naturally. I don't think she's definitely had training, but I don't think the whistle tones are a different
a different thing. I think it means have a pin sized hole between them, that she can put them together and leave a little tiny space that's tinier than any space you could imagine, and that's what the wind is going through. What did you find out, Anya?
I found out I'm a coloratura, which I didn't even I thought that was just a type of opera singer. But Charlotte was like, your range is insane. And I've never tell me any nice thing about my voice, because my whole life people have told me my voice is like inadequa nice to hear, I know. I was like, I am, so it just means I have a really
high range. She's like, you're a fucking G six. Like she's doing like da da da da da da da da da dah dadda, and I'm like going higher and higher and every octave She's like, fuck you, I hate you. What the fuck people are gonna pay you? She's so fun follow her char mar music Charlotte Martin.
So I'm trying a lesson with her on next week and she's not going to say that to me. She's just I wonder what way she spin it. To make me feel good about myself. I know I was like black and white, a toro, not a color a toro, you're a c Yeah, it's going to be uh disappointing, but she'll find She'll be like, you are funny. Your sounds are funny.
That's what you have, such a great quality to your voice. You got that Julie Glazer Jeane going through your No, you.
Don't say that. That was thirty seven years of smoking is what gave my mom that No, she has power, dude, thank you. And then Brian, what did you do this weekend?
Well?
I spent a lot of time digging into this Rachel Zieglert controversy about the Snow White movie that's coming out. Me and my wife sat and watched a bunch of YouTube videos because I want to figure out. I wanted to figure out why are people so upset? Do you guys know what I'm talking about?
I think so yeah.
And I could not care less because she's just an annoying theater girl who is like Leah Michelle, like she thinks she's she's never she's always the soprano, she always gets the leads. She's always been successful for her whole life, and she doesn't have a lot of perspective, and she complained about being snow white or something, and she's trying to relate to the SAG strike is that it and people didn't like it because she's like, I have to be in here and makeup all day and everyone's like, oh,
that's your job, bitch? Is that it?
No, Well, that's part of it.
But I think the original reason people are getting upset was because it was kind of like hard to put my finger on. And so we watched all the interviews like over and over again to be like, why.
Is this upset?
She's pretty and successful and talented, and most people aren't.
Wait, that's not fair.
That's not fair, because like that's like saying like you're just mad because a woman has an opinion, and it's like, I don't know. I hear a lot of women with opinions and I don't get like upset about what they're saying. For some reason, these interviews are upsetting and me and my why is this upsetting?
Okay? Why I can't person understand? Why does she? Okay, here's someone who was annoying.
I thought the controversy was that she dissed the original snow White by saying it's super sexist and fucking weird. Their dynamic is creepy. He like stalks her, this is not in nineteen thirty nine production. We're doing a modern version of snow White that's not problematic. And people were up in arms. Is that the controversy?
Yeah? But so why why is that upsetting?
And I think, uh, And what happened was we started watching all these takes on YouTube, and then something happened that I can't believe. I watched a take on from a clip from Fox News and they articulated why I was upset. And I was sitting there going like, yeah, you're right, that is why it's annoying. And then I realized a switch flipped. This is what people love Fox News for because they watch stuff and they're upset and they don't know why.
And then some blonde woman in her you know, like in great hair.
And makeup, says something articulating why you're upset, and it gives you justifies that feeling.
Really, what did this blonde woman with too much eyeshadow tell you?
Yes, she said that.
Rachel Ziegler basically, this is starring in snow White, but she hates snow white, she hates her own character.
Why is she even doing it? If she why did they to be famous?
No?
But why did Disney pick somebody because they didn't.
Know she hated her? Like they get for she didn't walk into the audition and go I actually hate this, I'm it anyway, And now it's coming out after she already has again, why why would they give it to her because they didn't know she hated it? Question?
It's a rhetorical questions that's explaining why I'm upset or why the Fox News viewers are upset. But it's not like the logically why did this happen? Like we can all figure out how this could have possibly happened, but why what?
What about it? And then also just like.
When they have kids and then they go being a mother so hard, it's like, well you wanted it. People don't go, but people allow that to happen and they don't go, well, then let's take your kid away, you know, like why can't this not like something she worked hard to get because she's pretty and successful and we're supposed to be like just like it, and she's white, and so we're like, why didn't they give it to a black woman, and like, I don't even think I haven't
paid attention. Okay, she's not white, so I don't. I don't know what's critical. I think they're just I think people are just jealous that she's pretty and talented and she is a little sassy and a bad attitude, and people are like, fuck you, and if you're pretty, we
have to like you. If you're pretty, and like, if you're pretty and you don't have a bad attitude, everyone will love you, even though on the last episode I talked about someone who's very pretty and everyone fucking loves and she actually does have a bad attitude because she yielded the Barisa and you'll never know about it. But Rachel is being honest about her bad attitude and it's leaking out and people don't like it's the same thing that happened to Limm Michelle.
It's less about her bad attitude. And there is something in like that there's like a condescension in the tone, and that's what Ali was saying, Like she's like there's something about her that she's just like she just sounds like a Braddy gen Z spoiled kid. And that's I think part of it that's not grateful as well. So there's plenty of hot girls who have attitudes who I'm not. I don't when I listen to them, I'm not mad like I don't think it's fair to say like you're just you're just mad.
No, I don't think that's why you are. I think that's why as just a society, we want people to If someone's like hot and has had literally you just think, man, they were born with a perfect voice, so much talent. They're also thin and beautiful, Like it takes so many you have to roll so many dice and land on the perfect number. She rolled a Yatzi in life. Each of her dice, her body, her face, her voice, her hard work, her the money she was probably born into.
She rolled a fucking yatzi all landed on one number, and she is a perfect person. And then for that person to not be grateful and always be sweet like Margot Robbie. If Margot Robbie had a little bit of an attitude at any point, everyone would turn on her. If you're a pretty girl that's been like given a lot of talent, you are walking a very fine line and you better keep in line and be grateful and only be nice and you can be a diva, but you better have earned it first, and she hasn't earned
it yet. She could get this, she could Marik Carry Whitney Houston. Who are other women that are like notoriously like kind of like divas. They had success first, you know before we before.
That's probably part of it.
And there's there's also the aspect of like just paying no respect to like the creative people who came.
To the Nazi who wrote it.
Yeah, well, you know, it's just at the time this.
Snow White came out in the thirties when like they didn't even make cartoon movies like this, so like this was a this was a groundbreaking movie and obviously it had a cultural significance.
And then just to say, like it's from nineteen thirty eight, so therefore it's trash. Yeah, is like a little bit offensive.
I think, why is it offensive? It's a fucking movie. Who gives a shit anyone who's like, but snow White was the first movie ever they're all dead who was standing up for.
Like that was Another funny thing is like everybody who like there's all these people online pretending like snow White, like a change their childhood.
You're like a ninety year old.
Yeah, that's that's why do we have to respect everything? That's all too Why can't we say no? Do we do that with slavery? Like I know it's not the same, but no. One's like, don't offend this thing that got me through life. Don't take that away or shame it. And that was just the time. It's like we can say things are shit back then.
It's about respect. It's not shit. It was a different time.
What cartoonists, Who gives a fuck?
Without that movie, you wouldn't have the movies you have today. It's just like saying fuck Lenny Bruce, he's not funny and giving him no respect at all because she's winning no respect. She said, well, first of all, it's a movie from nineteen thirty eight. It's right there, it's shit, and also it's creepy and like the Prince. And then she said something which you know, as a man, I was like a little upset about where she's like, we should just cut out all the scenes with the man in it.
Oh yeah, that's a bummer. I think she's going she was prolling on a little soapbox. Sorry, it's definitely on one. No, you're right, she's on one.
But I don't think these are her original ideas. They sound like regurgitated ideas she got from the directors.
She probably thought people were going to like her a lot more once she did this, and it backfired because someone like her is very calculated about being liked and this she's probably devastated that people don't like her. This is probably not very.
Generation is psyched.
About what.
No don't like her standing up to old Fox News people.
No one likes her right now.
I don't know no one.
I think, well there because there's the ant, there's like the woke, there's the anti woke people like Fox News.
We're going to a break and then we're going to break this down after that because we desperately have to go to break. But we're going to get into this more Rachel Ziggler thing when we get back. And by the way, Ziggler was the last name of the most beautiful girl in my high school, so I think it's like, if you are born with that last name, you are stunning. I just want to Lauren Ziggler, are you out there?
Where are you? I've been looking for you forever because you were the most stunning person in our high school, and I cannot find you anywhere because once women get married, they give up their names and then they become missing persons and it's bullshit. I'll be right right after this, all right. So people who don't like Rachel Zigler, they're split. Brian, You've done a lot more research than I have.
I what's really fascinating about this whole thing is that she's getting flack from the woke crowd and the anti woke crowd. So the people on Fox News and a bunch of like mostly male young YouTubers are saying like, we're mad at you for disrespecting the movie and for being a woman with an opinion like.
Stuff like that.
And then the woke people are also mad because and this is more, this is less mad at Rachel Ziegler, more mad at like just Disney and writing overall, because they're saying.
Like Rachel is saying that we can't have a movie where the main.
Character just falls in love and wants to find a prince and settle down and have a home and all that stuff.
And the people are saying, like, why is it that.
Every woman in every fucking thing in the last five years needs to be a girl, boss bitch.
Why does every woman needs to.
Be an action hero protagonist that's just cutting bad guys heads off while holding a baby in her arms. Can't there be a protagonist that's just interested in, you know, having a nice home and friends and stuff like that. Why does it have to be every character that's a woman has to be a strong female protagonist, boss bitch who also has kids.
Because don't feel yes, yes, whole romantic love bullshit, being like the Pinnacle and Barbie is really.
They got to the point to the point where you can't have a female like I'm interested in finding a huzz been in having a family, because that's not good enough. And the lesson to be learned is like, no, a woman can be any type of character. It doesn't have to be either in the thirties a woman who just falls in love or in the twenty twenties where a woman has to be a CEO of.
A major corporation with three kids cutting.
People's heads off. Okay, it can be anything. And I think, well, go on, Nikki, I mean I haven't there's a number.
Keep going, go go.
The other part to this is the dwarfs, right, we all we all know about the dwarf situation where there's the seven dwarfs and instead of making it seven dwarfs with Peter Dinklich was very upset about they made one dwarf and then six just uh characters from all across the world.
Calls them freaks of nature. I think. Yeah. Timdall does a great rant about what are these dwarves when they announced it, he was like, they look like they got seven random people from skid row. One doesn't have It's like all different types of people, and it is a characters that no one really wants to look at. I mean, no, it's disturbing.
There's such a funny part in Tim's rant where he goes, he look, there's a guy in the middle who just looks like a white guy with long hair. And Tim's like, what category is that guy? Why is he getting in this little lineup?
Because they're trying to represent like the rainbow of like disabilities, and you know, and there isn't a is there a dwarf in them?
Or the one dwarf one dwarf and he's in the front obviously, because if you were filming, you wouldn't be able to see him if he was in any other spot, right, it should be seven dwarfs, but instead it's just one. But here's the lesson, And this is why I think everyone's mad. I think it's why people are mad at Rachel Ziegler. I think it's why people are mad at
snow White. I think it's why people are even mad at that Little Mermaid movie, even though eighty percent of the people mad at the Little Mermaid movie are probably racist, but the other twenty percent, it's because stop pandering. Just make something good. Don't try to figure out the political angle that will sell more tick gets, because you're not going to be able to predict what woke people and anti woke people want. If you're pandering, we'll.
See it, will be annoyed.
But no, I think I think that decisions that have been made to make things more inclusive have been good. Where we see like people are complaining, like god, every couple in a in every TV ad has to be a mixed couple. Now, Like, I think that's good to put those people. That is a choice that was made to say we're not gonna just cast white people all the time. If we're just lazy about things you were You were citing something the other day, Brian, where you
were like all the people were white? What was that you were talking about? And you were like today, can you imagine? So that was all the people being white?
Yeah, so I was. I was watching School of Rock, the Jack Black, Great Jack Black movie.
From two thousand and eighty oh three, Jesus okay.
Two thousand and three.
Yeah, and I'm watching this movie and and you know, School of Rock has Jack Black, who's obviously a white man, and then he has got his class and the class was a diverse he's yeah, so it was it was
early representation of little people in cinema. There's also the class which is actually pretty diverse, even though most of the diverse classmates were like stereotyped in certain ways that probably today would get a little bit of black, Like, you know, the the Asian guy is nerdy like stuff like that.
Yeah, why is he playing the violin? Why is the black kid rapping?
Yeah?
The Asian I played the piano, which is and then like, of course the amazing Sineer.
Instrument that is always being played in Canal Street, that little string weird, like just so fucking stereotyped. Okay, go on.
So that was good.
But then I'm watching in every scene where there's supplementary characters, In every single instance where there can be an extra character who's not intrinsic to the plot, they are white, a white man, so generally. So like at the beginning of the movie, Uh, Jack Black gets kicked out of his original band, and the band has four bandmates in it, and out of those four, guess how many of them were straight white men.
All I'm not going to guess.
I know, so that's all four of them are straight white men. And it got to the point where I'm so used to watching shows that aren't just all white people that I was like, I can't tell these four guys apart, Like they all.
Look like the same fucking guide to me.
It's actually confusing watching movies from the nineties sometimes because you're like, is this all white?
This is the same guy?
Yeah, that's so funny.
And then like Jack Black has his teachers that are at the school with him that he's substitute teaching at, and they're at a lunch They're at a lunch team, they're at the table and except for one guy out of five teachers, all of them were white, four white guys, one woman and then and then a non white guy. And it's like, I can't believe how many of these
white guys are being cast. If this wasn't a movie today, it would be like making a statement about like maybe it's like, uh, you know, only rich people are like the devil, Like this is Hell's lunch.
Table, right if that if that was any white people, which is a good thing.
But when that's a good thing, that's a good thing.
I'm not.
It's a good thing. Well, it's bad for me personally.
See the amount of white men I've heard, and I don't you know, I don't begrudge them, Like, and everyone's always gonna there's gonna be a some group of people that's gonna miss out when there's things like affirmative action or some kind of like mandate to put more people of color in writers' rooms on TV, Like there's there's gonna be white men and white women who are gonna
miss out. And I just say to them because you know, as a white woman too, I kind of got successful before it became like you can't have and I'm a woman. So it's still kind of a minority, especially in the
comedy world, so I benefit from that too. But it just it's like I say to white men, like they're just like, man, it sucks right now, no one wants I mean, you hear it constantly white men saying it's just not the time for us right now, and most of them have that kind of attitude about it, like it's just you know, it's not a good time for us, because it is true, but being mad at it is true. It's just like not the best time to be born
as a white man. And that's just the you know, and the rest of the time, it was shitty to be born a person of color trying to make it in this business. So you know, you don't get everything you want in life, I guess is the theme of this that people just I think sometimes people just think that but I want it, and you just go, well, you just you don't get to have not everyone gets everything they want, and sometimes that sucks.
Yeah, okay, would make So would you have made that argument thirty years ago to a black person who's saying that we can't get cats in anything?
Yes, because that's the way the world is working, right, I'd say, I want to I would like it to be different for you, but it's not, and this sucks. I'm not saying like, just accept it and don't like fight against it, but sometimes you just do have to accept, Like the way things are aren't fair. Some people are born into money, some people aren't. Some people are born
with a talent, some people aren't. Like I was talking to Well, this is a sticky situation that I should probably leave for the Bonus pod, But we were talking about trans people in sports, and I actually have a very good explanation for it and why things should be the way I think they should be. I'm gonna save that for a time when it is not such a
a polarizing subject to get on. But I was talking to my boyfriend the other day about it, and he was on one side, I was on the other, and then we came to the same side, and I came up with like an air tight argument for it, and I can't wait to share it with you guys offline. But it's pretty damn good. My point being maybe you can get to it from me saying this. You don't always get what you want, you know, Like Chris is really good athletically, but he's not tall enough to play basketball.
At a level that he should. He could probably be an amazing basketball player if he were born with a different body, but he wasn't, so that sucks he can't play basketball. Like if we're talking, I am the biggest trans rights advocas that I know of. Personally, I'm the one that's always I feel like I'm on the right side of things. I have lots of trans friends. I try to educate myself about stuff. But I do believe like I wasn't born with the vocal cords that I
want to be a pop singer. I wasn't born with the agility to dance the way I would want you to be a pop star. I wasn't born with the parents that were like, we should get you in dance classes and singing lessons and guitar lessons at the age of seven, so you can be a pop star someday, And some people were And that sucks. But it's I could have maybe done it, but I didn't get to because I wasn't born in the body of someone that's
good at dancing and singing. But inside me, I know I could be It does this make sense at all? Like time's gonna tell you you can? Yeah, I know, but it's but yes, you can with enough training. But like my boyfriend will never be in the NBA. I know, Muggsy Bogues was five eight or something, but Chris, because of his height is kind of it's impossible for him to be in the NBA at any time in his life.
Would you agree Brian that, like you probably wanted to be some story, you wanted to be a basketball player. What stopped you from being the best basketball player possible?
But the best basketball player? I wasn't very I wasn't good.
So your body betrayed you right like your body you were born into it. Because my friend the other day was like, listen, I love trans people and I totally want them to have every right they want. But I will never understand what it's like to be born in a body that isn't the right body. I'll never understand that. And I go, really, cause aren't you fat? Aren't you a woman who struggled with her weight her whole I say fat? She was, like, am I she identifies as
a fat person? She's not really now, but like she is a person that has struggled with her weight her whole life. And I go, how do you not understand, and she was like, WHOA, I never thought of that. I'm like, that's all you gotta do. Have you ever not liked your face? Have you ever not liked your hair? Have you ever not liked and thought, you know, why does that girl have that hair? I should have been
born with that hair. I feel like I should have been born with straight, silky hair or whatever it is. You weren't. So you are you can empathize with trans people. You wish that, you feel deep in your soul that you should have been born with a different look or a different body. That's how you get to that. So I just feel like we can all kind of relate to that struggle. I don't know how I got to transdot, but that's how I feel about that.
People go, I don't.
Understand what this could be. I'll respect it, but I don't get it. Oh so you were just unless you're fucking Giselle Bunchin. She's the only person on the planet that should be like I don't get wanting to be born in a different body because everything on her is perfect. She's the only one that should have no trans empathy. I'm sure she does.
She even had a nose job.
Okay, so there you go. She had an operation for her outside to match her inside. So anyone that's a new thing. Anyone who's had any corrective braces or a nose job or a brow lift, you're not allowed to. Not like trans people, you did the same thing they did of switching your outside to match your inside. Boom case closed.
What about people who just want tattoo.
I mean they Yeah, I would say that too. You you body modified to match your inside something, and you wanted this tattoo. I really regret not getting a tattoo. I fucking so regret it in my youth time. You can still do that, Yeah, I can, and I probably will because I.
Swift in like a gothic front really big across your chest.
No, because that's gonna be it's gonna start melting, you know, like yeah, and that's an area that like, I don't want anyone looking at my decoltage. That's getting spotty.
And just you get ahead of it and you just tattoo old swifty.
Because no one wants to see an old woman's chest. No offense to old women out there showing their chest. That's not something I'll want to show off. Not that you know, there is a girl I know that has born in two thousand tattooed on the back of her like right below her butt cheeks, right born in and then or made in and then two thousand, the year two thousand, and I'm like, that is so cool right now because it shows everyone you're so fucking young. But
you are going to be hi. You're going to have that number adapted at the end pretty soon, Like what year does she start covering that up? But it isn't a place on her body where she won't be showing that region off when she is ashamed of that number. So I guess it's the perfect place to put it because right now you see it all the time. Yeah, well, it makes sense because it's in the place that you
show when you're in your twenties. But it is She's going to start wearing shorts that go less short pretty soon and then you won't see it. But yeah, that's but I regret not getting one because I like having memories on my body of like things that happen in my life, Like I have this fucking curling iron burn that will always remember me remind me of being backstage
in Europe, of the Europe trip. And then I have this scar from the Dead Sea that will never go away, and it reminded me of walking into the Dead Sea. And I have different scars. I have a scratch on my face that my sister scratched me on the face when we were fighting as a kid, and it reminds me of like hating her that day. I have a I have another scratch on my finger on my thumb from a trash can the first day that I ever
did live radio in Kansas City. I remember, I was like, oh, I'll always remember that this scar is from the first time I ever went on radio, which is a big deal in my life. I like having little little reminders even of like things that are embarrassing earlier. On that day, I just was throwing something away and there was like a little piece of metal sticking out of it and it just scratched it, and I just gotta imagine, Oh, my god, thank you.
Yeah, I do want to say sorry, what well, just just to finish, just to wrap up what I was saying before. And also speaking of tattoos. When I was watching Schindler's List, there's two characters in Schindler's List. Two main characters. There's Liam Neeson and there's Ralph Findes. Did he say his name?
Fine?
Raife's Ralph?
I think it's I think it's spelled Ralph, but it's pronounced ray Finds.
Okay, I think I thought there was another guy named Ray Finds that and so, and then Ralph Finds is a different guy.
What the fuck is going on? Anyway?
I saw these two guys in Schindler's list, and when I they're.
Both white guys.
And when I and you start off with Schindler, who was played by Liam Neeson, and then eventually you see Ray Fines Raith Finds. And when I saw Ray Fines, I was like, why is Oscar Schindler wearing a Nazi uniform or whatever? Because I thought they were the same guy for like the first forty five minutes of.
The Yeah, they look so similar.
Right, not only are they white guys, but they look similar. And it's like, only in the nineties would you be able to do casting like this.
Well, also as a period piece that is about white people, you can't kiss a black person as shit, learn right. Yeah.
I went to a play once on Broadway and it was like some old play that you like don't fuck with right, Like, I don't know some maybe it was. It wasn't Glen Garry Glen Ross, but it was a classic old Broadway play and they they they did it updated. So the married couple in the fifties was it was like they were both white and then their black son came home from Vietnam, and then they're like trans child came home, and then they're like Asian child came home.
And the audience was free. It was all old people and they were so fucking confused. But it was just like modern casting. It was just something that people were wait.
Glengary Glenn Rosse. Isn't that the movie where Alec Baldwin like screams in a Yes.
It wasn't Glengarry Glenn Russ. But it was an old play that was set in the fifties and all the old.
People were like, how can his shun me black? What is?
And it was like they're just doing this for casting, They're just doing this for representation, to challenge us.
Well, I think it is confusing, but redoing they're.
Redoing twelve Angry Men. It's called twelve Angry people.
That's true.
I could see that happening, but we'll see.
Yeah, I mean I don't.
I don't.
I guess I just I don't care because I'm not an actress. I guess it would bother me if as a white person to be like, oh, it's it's tough out there right now, but you know it's there's It's still when I do a comedy show, there's like maybe one other girl on the on the the lineup. There's not as many women doing stand up comedy as I thought there would be. Can I just say that I thought there was like a boom I felt with Sarah Silverman.
She got a lot of us into it. It's like my entire class of female comics that you know of now we're all inspired by Sarah. There's Janine. There's a class of Janine Garoffalos. There's a class of people that were inspired by Well. Then that's pretty much it, but Schumer and then me. But it's still not a lot. Like I was complaining to my friend who owns the club, I go, when are you gonna have some women on
your show? Because I see clips of like who performs there and there's like no women, And I'm like, this place is making a choice not to put women up, and he goes, there's no women doing comedy in town, like we put them up, and I don't want you to just put up any woman. This is the problem, is like sometime any of them we need, Yeah, like
because you gotta be good at comedy. And this is the problem is why a lot of times, because there's so few women, comedy clubs will do the right thing and put women up, and they're not good because they'll just take anyone. Oh, she's been doing comedy for two days, but she's a comic, so let's put her up. And then audiences see this woman on a show with a bunch of other dudes who are well ahead of her based on the amount of time they've been doing it.
And they're men, so they're naturally funnier. That was a joke I'm seeing if you're listening. And then she does poorly, and then what does the audience think when they leave? Women aren't funny because they're putting her on the same level as all the men they just saw. So it's it's this weird thing of like, don't put women up before they're ready, but also like why aren't women doing
more comedy? I still don't get it. I still maintain that women aren't encouraged to be funny as youths because women are supposed to be dainty and delicate and pretty and clean and cute and boys humor is all rooted in farts and dirt and frogs and poop and like those are the favorite words of every kid. Based on my niece and nephew, I've just found it here, you loved it, and now all the girls are I think joke about that.
Stuff open mics and early and road clubs.
That's still a boys club.
I mean you you if you're a woman starting out doing comedy and you're going to open mics, I mean, there's gonna be eighty percent ninety percent men at these open mics, and there most of them are probably don't feel very welcome and are not treated well for it.
No sorry, I mean I listen. I don't want to say get over it. That's that's going to be clipped and it's going to be like, she doesn't understand we all get raped every day. But that was my favorite Schumer joke used to be like people always ask me what's the hardest part about being a female stand up? And I always tell them the rape.
And it's.
It's I don't I never had a hard time as a woman because I had no other experience doing comedy, so I can't compare it to what it would be like to be a man. There's one comedian I met who's one of the most famous comedians working who when I went up to him as he was talking to a bunch of young comedian boys and having a grand old time, I walked up. I was the headliner of
the club. He was just in town hanging out because he had done like a huge theater down the street, and I was at the club and he came in to watch my headlining set. So after my set, I go to my green room and then I come back down to the bar where he's like holding court with all these young comic guys that are just like hanging on his every word because he is arguably one of
the goats of comedy. And I walked up and they were continuing to talk about whatever they were talking about, and one of them said like fuck or something, and he goes, hey, hey, not around the lady. He like quieted the guy, and I'm like, did you just hear my act? So all of a sudden, it was like he couldn't. The dynamic completely changed and we weren't allowed to talk dirty anymore. We weren't allowed to talk like boys.
We had to talk like everyone just got awkward because I was there, and so I excuse myself because I was like, I don't want to ruin this fun whiskey drinking time with the guys. That was like, I've been very lucky.
Then.
That was like the only time where I felt like, Wow, no one wants me around because I'm a girl. Otherwise, being the only girl on a comedy scene was pretty nice and I didn't get pawed at. I wasn't like sexual like maybe I was sexualized like when I wasn't around, but it didn't happen in front of me that often.
There was a gross club owner who used to be like, say I was hot and then say gross things, but I just kind of like it wasn't I wasn't like scared to I don't know, I just kind of don't buy into this whole thing of like it's a boys
club and we're not allowed. But maybe female comics need to write to me and enlighten me of what they're dealing with now, because it's might have changed, it might have gotten worse, or I might have just which is what I say all the time about why I've never been in a relationship where I got hit, Why I've never been molested. It's not because I was like faster than you or I picked better people than you, Like
I just got lucky. So I could have just always been hanging around certain comedy clubs where I just got lucky, you know, like I walked down alleyways where I didn't get raped. But then I would be like, alleyways are fine. It's like, well, you just picked a good one on a good night, the night you could have been raped on that.
Injustices though that happened, that are maybe more uh invisible, Like what you just described is an injustice. Like let's not talk, you know, let's let's be different around.
Yea, but who fucking who? Like Also, what about how.
Much you were paid?
Do you know if you were paid equally?
No, but I'm getting paid fucking more than anyone now, like it just I don't know, I wasn't we're all
paid in equally. Is anyone really transparent about pay? I'm sure I got slighted on things, but I will say that being a funny woman, I'm not in the I'm I know this is not going to be popular with female comics who are struggling to make it and like to lean on the fact that they're a woman is the reason they're not successful, whereas I would say it's probably a mixture of that and the fact that you're not maybe not as funny as other women or other men,
and that's just because you weren't born with being funny enough or like, it's not like your fault, it's not like your bad person. But I think that it's so quick to be like I've seen so many female comics claim because I'm a woman, and I'm like, but I haven't laughed at anything you've ever said. Can we talk about that? But you can't talk about that because it has to be blamed on this as a boys club, which it is, by the way, there's no doubt about it. But I would like to say that I think I've
benefited from being a woman. When I get asked these questions about how hard is it to be a female comic, I'm like, well, I'm the only one in the scene, so and everyone thinks female comics are shit so if you're kind of funny, people are like, wow, oh holy fuck, let's headline her before she's ready. Like, I think I've been afforded opportunities that I know I have. I got asked to be on Last Comic Standing when I was two years into comedy. Did I deserve that? Fuck?
No?
Did I get it because I was a girl? Yes? So if I I were female comic listening to this, I'd be pissed at me. Probably, So I understand your ire if it's directed towards me. Well, you're not saying probably this is all feel my luck. No, it's definitely not. But I'm saying I've had advantages for being a woman, and I've had disadvantages, And the bottom line is, it's just it's not fair. Not everything is fair. Why does
everything have to be fair? Like life isn't fair? Like it's not fair that I had good parents that were like, you should try comedy. We'll give you money to pay your rent while you pursue this dream. That isn't fair to someone who's like I have to work three jobs to even be able to afford to do open mics at night. It's not because you can't be mad at me. If you were born with my family, that would be your lot too. It's just I got born in a
different body, with a different family. It's just everything's not fair. But that doesn't mean that we shouldn't hear you and go, okay, let's create a fun for struggling comics. Or that doesn't mean that I don't pay my openers a little bit extra when I know that they'd come from a family like that, Like, we have to account for those things. But life isn't fair. And believe me, I cry about it all the time. I have my things that I'm like, why wasn't I born with that thing? I'm plagued by
why does she get that? Why does he get that? And I don't? And the bottom line is is because life isn't fair, and not everyone gets everything they want except Rachel Ziggler, and even she's getting taken it away right now. But I bet that girl did not come up against a lot of you know, like, oh, this weekend, okay, we have to go to break. But I have an actual, perfect example of this.
We'll be right back.
This weekend. I was watching a clip of I guess the casting director of American Horror Story or something like that, and it popped up on my Instagram and he was talking about Margot Robbie auditioning for American Horror Story. I guess before we knew her as Margot Robbie. I guess that show's been on forever. And he said she had the best audition he'd ever seen, but she didn't get cast. Okay,
hold on, let's go back. Do you think he'd be talking about this random girl who auditioned in two thousand and seven she wasn't Margot Robbie now, And do you think he'd be just wistfully talking about how she had the best audition he's ever seen, and he thought, we don't have a place for her, but she needs to
find a place somewhere in this world. No, this is all things you think retrospectively, because you know you missed out on having someone who is the biggest star in the world right now in the biggest money making movie Warner Brothers has ever made, and you're embarrassed you didn't cast her. But you also want to be a part of her narrative. You want to put your name in there. She's a part of the American Horror Story story. You know, and yes. And also it made me happy because Margot
Robbie had a bad day once. Margot Robbie got so close on her role. You guys, a thing she wanted so badly, a thing we can all relate to. A guy want a job, you want a dog, you think you're gonna get a fucking house's apartment, you think you're gonna get and it got She got a call one day. Margot rob was like, yes, oh really, okay, yo, that's okay, all right, thank you so much. And then she put on the phone and she cried. Margot Robbie one day had a bad day, and that made me feel so good.
She hasn't gotten everything in light that she's wanted. We all don't get everything we want. But then someone will spend the story later on to make you feel better about the thing you lost out on if you end up being a huge superstar, because now she can be like, oh, they thought I was the best actress in the world. Guaranteed they didn't say that to her in the room.
Guaranteed she got no feedback on it. Besides the fact that she didn't get it, or she probably never even heard she didn't get it, she probably just saw the TV show that she auditioned for and someone else was in the role that she thought she was gonna get and was still waiting to hear back on, which is how most people find out in this town that they didn't get something.
There should be a website called bad days dot com or a book called bad Days where you just have successful.
People Tom Brady.
Yeah, yeah, like telling a story about how they failed or what went wrong to make people like it could be a tumbler.
Even what's the worst news you guys have ever gotten career wise?
Career wise? I mean, my career is the string of bad news.
Okay, so last week, Brian, last week.
I don't know.
I mean I I definitely had both of my reps retired and randomly at a young age. There's plenty of stuff that I pitched and I didn't get at. Yeah, there's shows that I didn't get. There's festivals I was rejected to, people said I wasn't funny.
There's all sorts of things. I mean, it's like every day and then just bombing.
You know, it's constant bombing on stage, and you know everyone's telling me to quit comedy, and I don't derstand why you're still trying?
And now, who's everyone a lie?
Because I'm exaggerating a little bit. No, No, but it is. I mean like, I feel like I have.
Failed much more than I've succeeded, but my successes have But I just keep trying because I'm a straight white man, and I feel like i'd.
Be nervous.
Mine have been. I thought I was going to get a Kevin Smith's show that I was going to be a co host on. I was one of like three girls considered for it, and I was like, you know, it seemed like it was going to happen. I signed a contract that in the first year of making this show that would be a syndicated show on all like channels. This was in two thousand and ten or eleven. It was going to be a half a million dollars in one year. And at the time, I didn't even own
a computer. I couldn't I couldn't get a laptop because I had no money. And I was like, this is going to change my life. And I got wasted the night before the audition because I was so nervous and because I was hanging out with a boy I really like, and I just wanted to keep hanging out with them. So I got fucking wasted. I woke up the next
day I had no voice. I did this audition, which was an hour long podcast taping audition, and I bombed because I literally like sounded like this, like I had no books because I was like drinking the night before, like terrible. So I look back on that though, and I'm like, thank god that happened. I submitted so many packets to write for the Jimmy Fallon Show and would write these amazing packets and go, there's no way I'm
not going to get this. These jokes are some of the best jokes I've ever written or ever seen written. I'm like so proud of myself and didn't get that job. Thank fucking crist I didn't get a writing job. I'm so great. Shout out to people who do writing jobs, Thank you so much. I would have. I would have festered away inside a writer's room. I would have gotten stuck there. If I would have been good at it, I would have been stuck there. I'd still be there and it would be a great job and I'd have
lots of money. But I would feel very unpathific because I don't I don't think that I could be fulfilled writing jokes for people and possibly having them say it the wrong way that I wanted them to say it, which you know, Brian writes jokes for me a lot of times, and I can only imagine, like when you write a joke and I just like fuck up the delivery, Like what a crushing blow that is, Like I couldn't handle that. So I'm so glad I didn't get that job.
And then there I have It's it's oh, there was something just recently that I really wanted so badly and it didn't.
Oh.
I was going to host f Boy Island in Australia. We had drawn up the contracts. I was going to go to Australia to live for like two months and shoot this show, to live in Australia for two months and to have a presence down there, which may make it so I could live there someday and like make money, you know, hosting something. You know, Chris loves Australia. We both have friends there. I was like, oh, I could like retire in Australia if I kick off my career there.
And everything was set to go, and the last second they were like they went with an Aussie to host it and it was such a bummer. And that was a recent one, and there's been other things too recently that just fall through, and you know, it's just you don't get everything you want. And men, the amount of men I have liked that didn't like.
Me back.
Is innumerable. You guys, infinitely, so many guys. Chris is one success story of a guy that I loved desperately that ended up working out. But there was most of the time I did not get the right man that I wanted. Me moving in with my parents during COVID embarrassing, I'm thirty five, Why don't I have anywhere else to go? Like, there's just there's been so many I've recently gained five pounds.
I am very upset about it because I am currently in the middle of making something where the whole wardrobe was set five pounds ago and things were tailored to
my body five pounds ago. And I know five pounds doesn't sound like a lot, but it is when everything you're wearing is skin tight and then you put it on and it doesn't fit, and now we have to make we have to the other day, she was like you're wearing this tonight, and I go, the fuck I am That's something I'm supposed to wear when I'm dehydrated
for three days, Like, I'm not wearing that tonight. And we had just scrambled to find something else because my body was not you know, playing, it was not playing along that day. It's betraying me lately. So we just sometimes you just don't get what you want and it sucks. Anya.
I was on the short list after two callbacks for the Ellen DeGeneres show. I was going to be her sidekick, and I was down to me and three other guys, and oh my god, I was in many and I was actually not devastated.
Oh yeah, it was before I knew a bullet you dodged there.
I know.
I mean, it would have been good for your career, but we all know what happened to the person that did get that job. Rest in peace. So maybe not the best mental thing, not saying that that contributed to it at all, but also we also know about that workplace environment. Yeah, maybe not the best.
I remember knowing like, I'll be fine if I don't get this, But the money was I don't even remember if the money was crazy because I was like an unknown. But yeah, I remember thinking like this would be huge if I was on TV like four or five days a week or whatever it is. But I remember not really wanting it. So when I when I like, I was like, I don't think I'm qualified like they wanted me to be.
You would be like over there, like acting like you were like pressing the music and like what up, Ballan, did you do what?
They?
Would you do a thing with her? A chemistry test?
Not a chemistry test. No, it was just down to four of us and then the next round was going to be that I think, but they were like, gotch, we love you. We think it sounds like you're like on the verge of really killing it in music, and we like, we'd almost want you to be like a writer on the show because you're so funny and you're personable.
But I was very open with them.
I'm like, I'm not a DJ, Like I'm a radio DJ, I'm not a spin like this, we.
Don't need you to do this is a track that you're pressing play honey, I know, but it didn't work out, But I was kind of crushed. I was like a finalist on this God this was oh well.
One of my major blows was when my record label started to go under and like let go of their artists, and I kind of knew that I shouldn't take it personally, but it was so crushing because it was just such a great place to be because they were single handedly responsible for getting my songs in so many films and TV shows, So I knew that that change, even though it had to happen for that label, I was just like, ah, this is going to be harder to really get out there.
My manager left me, which was fine in the moment, but I remember just being later on like this sucks, like having to find a new manager as hard and I have not. I've just been managing myself. There was
some dumb kit Kat commercial. I was like, not going to ever release this song, but I tried multiple times and they were like, we love it and there's always such great money and ads, and I probably really needed it at the time, and it was just like so devastating that I didn't get I was like, God, damn it. But now I look back on all those things and I'm like thank God, Like I wouldn't want any of those things.
Maybe the label it's interesting that you guys are both like thank God, because I definitely am full of regret that I am not thank goding for. But I do want to I do want to respond to you know, the writing jokes. It's like, I love writing for other people. And because I don't want to be on camera delivering the stuff, I don't want to be the star. I'd much rather give somebody material and then watch them succeed with that material, and I'll take pride.
But you weren't always like that. We've talked about this. You weren't always like that, right, Well, yeah.
Back in like high school and college, I was different. But yeah, there's two there are two instances that spring to mind that I am full of regret at over and not. They're a bad thing happened, and I'm not saying thank God about it. I am saying, well, it's a different feeling to be like, well, that was a mistake.
I know it was a mistake.
I fucked up, and now I just have to come to terms with that because I still really would have wanted that thing.
So one of them was twenty fourteen.
I was I was submitting packets, like hundreds of packets, and I submitted a packet to The Daily Show, and this would be the first year that Trevor Noah was hosting the Daily Show, and I was that this was my dream job to write for the Daily Show.
I had been writing political material.
I had a political sketch show that was running weekly at an improv theater in New York. And I had a political blog where I would just like write satirical articles. It was called Nothing as Good dot com and I'd write satirical political articles. And so I was just prepping for the Daily Show for like the last like four or five years, and I finally got to smitted packet.
Packets are blind submissions, and.
Somehow my packet got accepted, and now I was brought into the second round. So the first round there's probably like over a thousand submissions, and then the second round is probably narrowed down to like fifty. The second round is like a twenty four hour period where you have to turn around a second packet in like twenty four hours based on current events that are happening that day. I turned around the packet, I submitted it, and I
got called in for an interview. I learned that it was down to two people, me and another guy and the other guy is a guy I happened to know who is now my arch nemesis.
But I.
Went for many reasons. But I think I already told this story on the show.
But I did the interview, and you know, Trevor Now and all the EPs were there and they said, you know, it's a thousand submissions and it's just you and another guy. And I was like, oh my god, and uh, I just had a bad interview and they didn't take me.
And I wasn't what did you do during the interview? Why was it bab were you yourself? I could see them being like, this is done. It was a thousand and that it was on to two and you're you eat this is Brian.
Wow.
Like they they wanted you to go like, oh my god, and you were just like cool and they're like, you know, this guy's look doesn't seem exciting, like that.
Final thought, Yeah, I mean something like that. I mean, I don't know if I'm a hat to say so, like maybe that's for intrusive thoughts. It's like why did I not get this job? But I know why I didn't get the job. I was told later, many years later, why I didn't get it.
I didn't get the job, and I.
Was like it he said, oh, the person who got the job like wasn't a stand up and didn't really write anything before, and uh, like, I just didn't understand how it was even possible.
And it sattered my conception of.
Like comedy and like actually doing hard work because I had been working towards this goal for five full years, doing all the things you need to do. I did stand up, I did the political blog, I did a political sketch show. I got the interview, like, I got past the threshold and then I went in for the interview and it didn't matter and I didn't get it and I never had a chance to get it again.
And were you wearing your fanny pack?
No, that was a pre Fanni pack crying.
Okay, what it did wind up doing is I wound up switching away from politics and I started making cartoons after that point. So for that instance, it was good, but I was like, my whole conception of comedy was shattered at that point. So cut to the future, another job interview. There is a show called Lower Decks, which is an animated Star Trek show that was created by the people who made Rickard Morty, and it's an animated show. It already came out. I think it's already been canceled.
I'm not one hundred percent sure. But this was a huge deal for me because now I'm in, like, I'm trying to make cartoons. That was but I had been doing for the last now eight years, longer than I had been trying to do politics. I had been doing cartoon stuff and this was the people who made Rick and Morty like the best cartoon ever made, and.
I was getting to maybe enter into that world.
It was a Star Trek spinoff, and I did my first interview with the Rick and Morty people and they really liked me, and I was like, oh, this is great. And they had me come in for a second interview with the Star Trek people, and for some dumb fucking reason, Okay, I don't know what the fuck I was thinking, the Star Trek people asked me, so, what is your favorite
Star Trek movie or show? And I said, well, you know, I watched First Contact with my dad, and my dad watched The Next Generation a lot, But to be honest, like I haven't seen a lot of Star Trek.
Is that true, that's true. I haven't seen a lot of Star Trek.
I was being honest, but like they were like, Okay, you know this is a Star Trek series in the Star Trek.
You like binge Star Trek before going into this, because.
It's impossible because there is thousands and thousands of hours.
Fuck cares. Why were they mad about that?
Like, because it's a Star Trek show.
I had to star set in the Star Trek universe, and I.
Was supposed to be writing some that was gonna be like listenable outside of the narrative of Twilight. He has to write for a Star Trek show.
Yeah, I got really awkward after that.
You could catch up.
I got really awkward after that.
I fucked up the interview after that, and I said, but I but I swear if I get this job, I will sit down and I will watch every Star Trek there is. And they said, I don't think you're gonna have time for that. And so I didn't get that job either, And I was just like, I was like, why was I Why didn't I Just because.
You're an honest guy and it's good not to lie. But yeah, but that's there's I told, uh, Francis Ford Coppola that I had never seen what was the movie that he wanted me to do during my audition? And I go, oh, Hamlet, that I had never seen Hamlet or heard of it, or like, I've heard of it, but I didn't know what. He was like, do this do this speech in the style of Hamlet, and I go, I don't know what that means. And he's like, well, you're at the grave of you're talking to someone who died.
I was just like, well, then, why didn't you just say that? Like so, I also had to be honest, and i'd never seen any of the Godfathers. I didn't tell him that, but I hadn't, and I was ready to be honest about that if I hadn't, because that
should be if that matters to them. Like when I meet someone and they're like, I'm sorry, I haven't seen if I brought it someone in for an interview to work on a show that I was doing, and they said, and I go, and someone I would never ask this, but if someone asked, what are you familiar with of Nicky's and they said, I watched you know, Perfect with my dad, and then I've seen a little bit of bang In just from clips, But honest, I haven't seen but I will watch everything if I get the job.
I'd be okay with that because I don't think everyone should see everything that I did.
This is a different monster.
This is like there are there are Trekky's who will annihilate you if you get something wrong. This is a whole universe that I was trying, Like, I'm trying to enter into this universe.
So you knew going into this? Had you when you parked your car that day to go in there? Did you have in your mind they're gonna ask me about my knowledge of Star trek Let me just be honest with them. Did you have a plan going in or did the do re hoping that question would come up? Like did you plan to tell them the truth?
I was dealing with my new car problem that I was having where I couldn't think really, and so I was I was already going in on a If you.
Guys don't know, Brian had a new car that had a weird smell going on in it and it was.
Getting him what it was just a regular new car smell.
Okay, So Brian was having anxieties in his life that his body took and made into smells all randomly.
Sensitivity.
Yeah, it's called multiple chemical sensitivities. So if you're someone out there who if you smell certain things and they give you insane migraines and you can't function, you can't like leave your house anymore because someone might be like doing their laundry and you might smell it and it will give you a was it migraine? What other stuff did you get from it?
Brain fog?
Mostly, it was like brain fog and fatigue and depression and just like, yeah, if I like smelled a dryer exhaust, like, I like there was a time when I came became so sensitive to it that I could tell whenever somebody in my neighborhood was doing laundry right like blocks away, I'd.
Be like, somebody in this town is drying something.
And it turned out it was all in his head, not in a way that he's crazy, but like that's where his anxiety decided to put itself so that it would like have a reason for being. So Brian was on this mad hunt to like eliminate these smells from his life, avoid these smells, and it made him a wreck less and it made his life fucking unmanageable and miserable, and the whole time it was really about anxiety.
And then how did you treat it, Brian, Well, there's a there's a What finally wound up curing it was I did a DNRS, which is the dynamic neural retraining system, which is the only thing that actually helped, which is very similar to doctor Starno's philosophy of TMS.
But this is exactly when I was doing.
I was at the peak of my multiple chemical sensitivities when I was going in for this Lower Decks interview and I was drove the new car there.
I don't think people who would make Star Trek stuff don't do their laundry.
I was, so I was already feeling like, I can't think this is going to be bad, but I need to just like you know, fight through it. And then I went in and I was like a little awkward, and then the Star Trek thing threw me off. And so looking back on that interview, I don't feel thank God, thank god I didn't get it, because if I if I got that, I wouldn't have done that because there is nothing that I would have gotten or that I missed out on by getting that job.
Like I don't know, you don't know, you could have gone a terrible boss that you don't know. And by the way, I just want to work right now.
I just want to measure Kung full circle Rachel Ziegler on this ship you got Ziegler. Ziegler didn't have enough respect because she didn't have enough respect for snow White, and now people hate her and you didn't get the job because you didn't have enough respect.
Well, that's the difference. I didn't get the job. They did the right thing, They did their research.
They don't ask her about snow White, which I'm guessing if they did, she lied through her teeth.
Yeah, I don't know.
Multiple time, I loved it.
That's what she did.
She's smarter than me, because I should have gone to the interview wearing a fucking spock t shirt going like live long.
And prosper little glasses.
This would be a dream for me.
I've watched every episode of Star Trek since I was a little boy, and all I want to do is right for Star Trek. It's my It's been my dream ever since I was a kid, and I'm so excited to be here with you Star Trek Voyager people.
Instead, I was like, nah, I've never seen it?
What is it?
Who I would have gotten you in hot water? I hate when there's time. The times that I will sometimes catch myself lying and I don't want to because I hate lying. Is when someone goes like have you seen it? Like they just quickly will be like a movie like. I almost say yes because I don't feel like them explaining it to me, like it's not me trying to be like like me. I just like don't want them to have to go into what it is. So I
just want the conversation to be over. So I go yeah, And then I'm like, fuck, why did I do that? Because then there's this conversation is not over now it's.
What do I could test me, test me. You'll be the interviewer and I'll show you how it's done.
Okay. Have you seen the Ed Burns movie Newlyweds?
Oh?
I love that movie. It's you did it?
God like it so amazing.
Oh well you know, well, you're you're creating the show.
Who is your favorite character?
I mean too many to account, too many to count.
Four I think actually four main characters, which are the four.
Which are the four Susan so the oh. I loved her. Her performance was so amazing. I don't remember your name.
I just love I just well, I just love how real it was, you know, and it really it really made me feel seen when I watched that movie, because you know, I'm a person who deals with you know, love and things like that, and I've had my share of heartbreak in the past, especially when it comes to times like you know, when when it gets really high stakes, when you're gonna get married or you do get married, and I'm worried because I'm not you know, I'm a
person who just got married, and like seeing her what she went through.
Were you satisfied with the ending?
You know? Yeah, I was pretty satisfied with it, I guess. I mean, uh uh, There's a couple of things I would have done differently, maybe, but I mean, how could you?
How could you?
I will say with the character reminded me so much of your wife ally, So.
Yeah, you know, I didn't really I didn't make that connection. But I mean, I guess if you did, then you could tell.
Me why why is his sister not her sister?
I want to be why is that?
Why?
Why is that she was like beautiful. She was beautiful and young, and she like has the same like face shape and like body shape and like care.
Yes, now I see what you're saying.
Yes, well, I'm satisfied with this ending. Thank you guys for listening to the show today. We worked out a lot. We will be here tomorrow, don't Beka and did digit just lie? In interviews,