The Nicky Gleiser Podcast.
Nik glasern years, Nikki here, I am.
It's Nicky Glazer Podcast. Welcome to the show. I'm Nikki, and what a great show we have for you. We are recording these a week in advance because we all wanted a week off for the fourth of July.
Kind of, I guess I wanted one.
I just didn't want to schlep my equipment to upstate New York where I'm going.
And so can you talk about this fun? This is an annual event, is it not? Or no, yeh it is.
It's Uh, Brian's here, but Brian's back. I didn't say Brian was maybe I did say, no, Yeah, you've been back for a while now this episodes. Yes, this is your second week. So Brian's back. If you haven't noticed, you haven't been being in and I haven't talking you too much. But Brian is back, and and Anya's here. Brian's back from his wedding, and Anya's headed into hers
this weekend, I know. And then Noah is just in the precipice of starting to plan hers, which after hearing what Brian and Anya have gone through, I don't think there's a wedding that's imminent for Noah.
It really is remarkable how I how stressful it can get, even though I didn't care really about anything other than people having a good time. But it just builds and builds and builds, and I don't think there's any way around it.
Leading up to the wedding, You're just gonna be stressed.
I'm not doing that. I'm gonna find a way around it.
When I get married.
You're gonna have a wedding planner. Yeah, it's good.
Wedding planners, though, will bring you into their stress and you still have to make this is the thing people always go, Nikki, get an assistant for this, get it. You can just go instead of waiting all day to get a car at a place, just have someone.
Get you a car.
I'm like, but I got to tell that guy what to do, and that's stressing me out. So even allocating, even though I know what having a wedding planner would be great, But Anya, you've you even like the kombucha email, like you had to decide is it gonna be one large contained are they going to serve them?
So I don't have a planner. If I had a planner, the planner would be getting all those emails, So I'm sure.
That you think you don't think the planner would go, hey, what do you want a big one or a small one?
Well, the planner still I be like, uh, I'm going to send Anya one email a week with a bunch of annoying questions and as opposed to every day it's I'm not I'm not calling anyone annoying. By the way, if they're listening, like, I appreciate all the work she.
Is, but behind your back, she would never do it on air. Do you have a day of on site her helper?
I do, thank god.
Yeah, that's pivotal.
Someone told me that At a Nikki show, a bestie came up and was like, get a day of planner if you can. I did it. It was fifteen hundred bucks and it was the best thing for you, my husband I could ever, that's mad I got. I have the lovely Derek Break Kate Walsh's ex assistant, because Kate has been lovely enough to offer her home to me
to get married. There. By the way, I did want to say the other day when we were talking about how actors are so annoying, I was gonna say it is so true, except Kate Walsh is one of the only actors I've ever met in my life who genuinely cares who she's talking to and will remember things about these She's different. Yeah, she's unlike any other She's like a human knowing.
My point about actors is not that people shouldn't that they're not great people and that some of them can't be, because a lot of them are great people. But people saying that they're fans of actors is flawed because you do not know that person personally. You can be a fan of their acting, but you're not a fan of the person unless you really you've seen them on hot ones or you know, like the Conan podcast, like you've got a sense of who they are. I'm not talking
about Colbert for five minutes. Oh she was funny, had some good stories. I mean, like an extended podcast where they they revealed something of themselves that's a little bit more interesting. Otherwise, you are a fan of them as an actor, you are not a fan of the person.
Yeah, you're like a little kid. You like go up to Robert Downey Jr. And like, wait, you're not Iron Man.
You get upset.
Yes, so to meet your idols. Sometimes it really is.
You never say like compliments to like you never are just like a fan of a chef's work, but you're like, I like this guy, Like I'm trying to think of your mechanic. You like like your mechanic for what he does on your car, but you're not like, he's a guy I want to hang out with. But we extend that to actors because we.
And some people maybe do want to hang out with their my mechanic. I love my mechanic. He's cool.
Yeah, invited me to go to Egypt. I want to hang out with him. I'm the sharks there.
Yeah, watch out for those shark attacks, Papa.
Sorry, else you're not going to get the Papa callbacks.
I think I feel like we could have been canceled before.
That episode hasn't aired.
In my world that I'm recording, this can cancel for that episode, and so this might not even air because iHeart is like they went too far, Papa. But so your wedding's coming up, Brian's has just ended. Uh, Noah is engaged. I mean there's a lot and I'm moving in with my boyfriend. There's a lot of activity, a lot of it like Brian doesn't know to be like an announcement. So I don't blame you for not noticing, because I don't want it to be a big leg dang.
Like when then there's like.
A yes, like a spinning newspaper slow motion, you know, like I don't want.
You to your Facebook relationship status.
Now it's complicated before it was, you know, in a relationship. But yeah, Chris is like gonna slowly start moving his stuff in and then when I'm I'm going to l a for a couple of months to work on a thing, so he is going to in that time, like convert my guest room into his closet, which is going to be great because I mean I don't even use it, and then we're gonna he's just gonna do everything.
Organized closet of all time.
I do now because he hired organizers for me a couple of years ago, so I already have that. And then he's yeah for himself. It's insane, what this guy is. I've slept in his closet, he could. I've slept in it, and I was remarking about how organized it was.
Yeah, wait, it has hoped ye in St.
Louis yeah, when I did the Rowen, I uh, Ali, Chris graciously allowed Ali and I to sleep in his house, and I think he stayed at your house while you were on tour.
And Ali slept in his maintained the separate bends and really, yeah, Ali slept in his bed and I slept in his closet. Yes, and that closet is clean, and it's so it's so cute over there.
Yeah, yeah, he's a cutie.
And I just suggested, did Brian sleep separately from Ali because he has sleep issues in screaming.
Right, Well, it's not just that I believe that, it's it's something that everybody should do. If you if you don't miss sleeping next to your partner, it allows you to sleep better. You can have different sleep schedules. Ali's sleeping right now. It is currently two o'clock in the afternoon out here, and I wake up at six thirty because I don't have a blackout curtain and those sun wakes me up like I'm a farmer in the eighteen hundreds every fucking day.
Yeah, you need to get a blackout curtain. I would recommend that. Before sleep Mask. We were kind of talking before the podcast about a sleep mask for you, but just get because that sleep mass is going to come off by the morning. Anyway, it's good to help you get into maintain, Like when you're ready to go to sleep.
It's good to like be like it's time to sleep, and you kind of train your face to feel it and then you're like, oh, it's sleep time, but it's gonna come off and the sun will wake you up. You got to get blackout curtains.
Yeah, no, I'm I got to get to do it. Go to home depot.
She knows, she knows the curtains better than me, and so's she's on shorted some samples, and I hope they get here soon because I am desperately tired.
Yeah, well, until then, get just go to Walgreens get a sleep mask.
I will have this Luna one. And this one is such garbage.
I have the same one and they send it to me free as like to promote it, and I couldn't even do it because it's so not good. Well, okay, it was like fifty dollars. Like other sleep masks that I've tried so far, it's better. Yeah, it's better than nothing.
And I've tried other sleep masks that are too tight on my head.
Yes, better than nothing, you know, the least we could do. But I do.
I do see what you're saying that sometimes light gets in through the uh over overachieving nose hole and it gets right in underneath there, and then by the morning it is somewhere else. It's like it's like tucked in my pillow by the end of the day.
Night.
Yeah, I wake up every I love waking up and like it's off my face and I just like feel around blindly like.
A blind mole rat, and then I find it and.
Then I put it back on, and then it's just like time to go back into dream world.
It's so awesome. I love sleep masks.
It's my number one thing I would bring to like I was on Survivor or something, Mascara and a sleep man.
Would you sneak it up your butt if you're going to.
Jail, Oh yeah, you you need a sleep mask up in jail for sure. That would be important. Or I would just learn how to sleep with my arm sure my eyes.
Like that if you had to, If you were going to jail for three years and you can only obviously, you can only fit a certain amount of things in your butt? What would be the top two things you would put in your butt to get you through the three years in jail.
Fuck, that's a good question.
He's done saying tea. I was waiting to stop.
Call back. Yeah, you would bring.
Tea on you and you would be making in the toilet or whatever they do.
Never mind, you can only have a perfect cup of tea, so unless I can have a perfect English breakfast?
And what what made you land on English breakfast out of all of them? Did you try the pekos? Did you try the try dealing?
I do love a dar dealing too, but it just to me it's the perfect tea.
Gee, do you guys hear it? Your jaw and mouth move like I did.
It went it unhooked, it unhinged, like a fucking viper eating a mouse.
I was making a list for myself earlier today and I was like, things you need to do today, and it was something like, you know, buy parmesan cheese, get tea, and then I went tea like I started laughing, and every wound I'm like, oh fuck, I really do say along.
Hee, I like it.
You just leading into the tea. I'm thinking I would bring I really like this. I would want to write while I'm in there, and I wouldn't want to write with like a dull pencil or maybe a pencil that had been sharpened where the brown part is like too extended to the tip.
Do you know when like you sharpen a pencil in.
The lead and the wood like you're writing with the wood. I want to I'd rather life in prison than like cotton. It's worse than getting you know, shived in the shower, that is, writing like on and then like having to write like on your mattress as like that. So I'd want like a clipboard up my ass and like a felt tip marker type pen that's good, and then the Bible.
I don't know, actually I would be writing my own. I don't know what else.
I would want a sleep mask probably, yeah, that's or a white noise machine, so any kind of thing.
There's a lot of going on my head.
But listen, if you know anything about me, I've been working towards this, So yeah, like an Amazon Echo could probably fit up my ass at this point.
Got great writing done in prison, Martin Luther, King, Hitler, uh.
People, Socrates, they all wrote in jail. People. He wrote nothing else.
To do.
There.
Yeah, oh he did. What was he in prison for his art? Hitler? Well, yeah, oh, I could tell you all about Hitler.
He was, well, he was in prison for trying to create a coup for the government before the Nazis took over.
Sounds so well.
Your mom used to love that word, the coup. She used to be like, EJ, we just got the biggest coup. What is a coup? Like as a kid, I always remember it was like this girl's we have our hands on one of the biggest coups, like she almost like sounds like Trump, But it was always talking about a coup, like, EJ, this is a major coup, like we are getting this beef tenderloin for seven ninety nine coup, baby. And I don't think she really understood what it meant and that
she could have been in prison for it. Okay, So Hitler got Hitler was trying to be Hitler before people learned how to be charismatic.
A little bit too early. He went for the coup, and he was nearly killed. In fact, there was a some of his compatriots were killed right by, Like.
The bullets flew past h.
In this moment and hit people behind him and killed them. She and he survived. He went to jail and wrote mind confidence jail, and is this.
Like the late twenties thirties?
This has got to be the late twenties early thirties. I'm not okay, but yeah, well you seem to be.
Yeah.
I watched a lot of Hitler documentaries.
What can you talk me through? The mustache? Like, because no one else was wearing that then, you know, like you think, oh, that's just the style, but it's like you.
Look around, you go, no, it wasn't, so it was stylish. What didn't like Charlie others?
Oh?
Yeah, Charlie did not like the duo. I forget what their name.
Yeah, Laurel Hardy, you're right, Okay, you're right. They do have the mustache.
You know Joe Mackie's joke about Hitler, I think I do, but please tell me.
The joke is he convinced everybody that blonde hair, blue eyed people were superior when he had brown hair.
That's such a great joke because it's right, and no one said it yet and no one's thought it. Joe Mackie, if you have a chance to go see him, he tours like he should be doing theaters. He's on America Scott Talent. He's one of the funniest guys out there. And if you give a if you if he comes to your comedy club like a funny Bone near you or like a Crackers or something, you consider it so very lucky that you get to go see him for a cheap ticket because he's amazing.
M A.
C h I, Joe MACKI, you should look him up because he's he's one of a kind. Yeah, so you know a lot about Hitler. Okay, things in jail? What would you bring to jail?
Brian Well, I have an answer that's like you know how when someone's like, what's the most dangerous animal?
Then they go human being and you're like, fuck you. Oh yeah, so yours is like I.
Would bring cigarettes because then I can trade those for anything and smoke them.
Man, I would start smoking again in prison.
And that is a good. That Yeah, that's that's a good. That's like the three wishes, Like I was for more wishes, you're just more cigarettes, genie, and the Genie's like, you're not going to jail.
Why do you keep asking for cigarette?
But you watched Sixty Days in, right, I did, it isn't Yeah, so it days after watching that, I'm like, I don't know what what would work like it sounds like different charisma, yeah.
And like a good posture and like an imposing presence, like you.
Want to be an ac in a reality show about jail.
Yeah, it was a reality show on A and E where people voluntarily went into prison and see if they could last sixty days and was there like a cash prize, Like what was the incentive?
I don't even remember. There was no cash prize.
I think it was just like to prove and then you're helping out the prison and prove its blah blah blah.
Right right, so they yeah, but then they have to come up with a story because if anyone susses out that they're like full of shit. Because there's also like the documentary crew like kind of following them, but it's mostly like you know, CCTV footage of them trying to make their way making my way downtown Quinton Correctional Facility, Like it's really them just trying to figure out their place there and like and it yeah, it seemed on her.
Are harmed or beat up or worse.
I'm sure there was like a little of that, but no, because all the guards know that that person.
Not the guard. Only the guards didn't know you're gets close.
They have a signal where you can put a towel over your head and walk around like you're a sad ghost and they'll take you out.
And they'll take you out, and that's when you've like tapped out before using like a And there is.
That one guy one season who was so lame. He was lying to it. He tapped out after like three hours and then he got put into solitary confinement and he said he had his stomach hurt and he would never get he couldn't get.
He never got a solidary.
And he was he talked such a good game going in and that was so funny to see it because you really wanted him to fail because he wasn't the type of confidence that you're like, this guy's got it and then he failed and you're like, oh that sucks. You were like, no, this guy, I want him to get the shit kicked out of him. I want him to like have a a moment. That's yeah, that show. I should watch it again at some point. I'm sure there many seasons I haven't seen. I'm watching Jury Judy
right now. It is fucking amazing. I can't recommend it enough. A bestie wrote to me saying, thank you God that you someone. She said that someone on the podcast had said Jury Duty was okay, and I.
Was kind of like, oh oh, but I change my tune because I didn't know the premise and now my remise.
Oh when you said that you didn't know the past, I was like, eh, Ohanya, Yeah, this is so funny. This is happening to people where they don't know.
That it says the only thing about this that isn't a jury or whatever is that everyone is an actor except one person.
So I missed that slide because it's really quick. It is quick, but I just don't know how anyone would. I don't watch a show unless I kind of know a lot about it, I guess, and the only thing that would ever sell me on this show is that the premise. So I feel like that's why My question to you was like, why did you start watching this?
Then I just saw it on Instagram. Someone I follow was like, this show is incredible, It's genius, and I was like, I gotta try this out. But I was doing other stuff and I missed the beginning, and I'm like, also, the main guy looks weirdly familiar, like he could be an actor. He's like cute, and the one who's not an actor.
And so there's one guy that's not an actor and everyone around him is an improv actor and they're brilliant. And there they're doing a documentary about age about jury duty, and so he believes that he's on the documentary, but he doesn't know that everything is fake around him and it's like Truman showesque and it's so funny and it's so it's so funny.
I am like so wowed.
Lisa Gilroy I wrote to her, I've written to several of the actors in the show saying you are a comedic genius, because it's just like they just need to know that they're so good. Oh my god, she's like, and like then they started writing really narsty comments and like, and she says, as well a lot, I'm an influencer and as well as my dog, I also am a representative for his Instagram, as well as I do lashtech, and as well as I am an actress as well as a model.
Well you can tell she'd.
Study has studied that girl who did the maps thing, and it was like as well as the iras as well as all No, it's retty you know, it's like curb probably where they're like, here's where we want it to go, but here's it's like a here's where it's going to go. And there is so in control of all of the factors and all of the things leading up to it that it kind of you'll see, it's so good, Brian, you'll really like it. Okay, we're gonna go to break Go watch your journey.
Don't just kidding. Don't listen to me. Keep listening to the podcast. I'll be read back. Okay. So I just went to a voice lesson.
We did a podcast earlier today and then I went to a voice lesson and I had like a breakthrough because I played a song for my voice teacher and I looked up and he was crying.
Isn't that great?
I'm so honestly, it's like the best accomplishment I could ever have. Because he said I let him down so much my performance.
Now he was, yeah, I mean he was.
We are very We're good friends, and so we always kind of like catch up first for about like a half hour and then the rest of the time is singing. So he had been we had been sharing but you know about from your dance.
Coach, well, all sorts of things, my physical therapist. It's like, wait, I need physical therapy too, actually, but we just talked.
For every lesson I've ever taken, I become you know, if the person's halfway decent or someone I would like, I become friends with them, and then I'm just it's an excuse to hang out with them, yeah, and right, So I just think, yeah, but that's just the way we do it.
And I really like it because.
I know now that the becoming like to have someone teach me how to do this thing that I'm struggling with bingo card scratch it off, guys, I'm talking about singing the thing. To be able to get that vulnerable, I have to trust someone so much and like have a very very intimate relationship in terms of like what we the things we share about our lives, and so
we have become like really close friends. And he shared, uh, like he was having like a tough day, and so I think he was already in the mindset to like maybe cry and needed to get it out. But for me to be able to pull it out when he was not crying to begin with, was uh.
I think.
I think as a singer songwriter, Anya, you gotta think when the best Jevy, do you remember when you've made someone cry?
Well, any time anyone's ever said like that song made me cry, or you know I did, because a lot of times at our shows, I'll do Satellite Heart from the Twilight soundtrack was which was available now at iTunes, Amazon, wherever you got your digital music, and people will say I heard, like the second you started playing that song, it just like took me back and I cried, And I'm like, that is the best compliment, And then they'll ruin it by being like, I'm so embarrassed that I
love that song. I'm so embarrassing that I love that soundtrack.
Either they are embarrassed they like Twilight, yes, not your song.
They don't say your song no, but.
It's so embarrassing. I totally know that song from the Twilight soundtrack. I'm like, it's so embarrassing I was on it. No, it's a proud achievement of mine.
But of course there's no.
Fascin way about reality people are always like I watched f Boy Island. I know, I'm like, it's good. There's nothing to be ashamed of, like what you like. It's like, obviously Twilight was very successful because something anything teenage girls like,
as a culture we just dismiss as being dumb. And uh, this isn't my original thought, but I read this like there was like a comic about it, and it's like anything women all young girls like we dismiss culturally because it's they are, you know, emotional, and they're they're obsessed with things and they're just what's they're just it's doesn't really have a lot of it doesn't carry a lot of meaning. Or it's like vapid and vapid that's the word, yes,
thank you, and and it's not. It's like, no, we're kind of onto something. We might were more emotional young girls that are going through the change, and so maybe we're more in tune with things that are extremely emotional. And maybe it's good. But were Twilight movies good? I never saw one. I've seen your scene, but I've never seen one.
Yeah, I've seen it a couple of times, but I've never seen another one.
I'm embarrassed in the books. I don't think I ever. I didn't read the books, but I heard they were. I don't think they were like, you know, even but JK.
Rowling. People are like, no, she's a great writer.
But then with who wrote Twilight books?
Don't you William?
Come on, I'm not trying to set you up.
You should I know I knew her name at one point, of course, of course.
Of course, yes, Sephanie Meyer from Hartford, Connecticut and forty nine years old.
You guys ever read the The Gray Ones, the.
What's it called, The Shades of Gray? Fifty shades of Gray? Yeah, fifty shades of gray?
Yeah?
Did you ever read that?
Yeah?
I read one.
I only read the narsty parts, and I only I only read the parts where it was like, whoa, this is pornographic and it was nothing.
I remember thinking that ring it when.
I just went together it was and I went all of it, and I remember, yeah, we we read it to each other, and I was just like, this is kind of like not that big of a deal. When you're watching gang bangs everything, it's hard to like, really, it's not.
It's not easy to make.
Me blush unless it's that scene from uh, the Departed.
Oh God, I gotta watch that. After you guys talked about The Departed, I was listening to it on the drive and I was Me and Ali were like, We've got to rewatch that movie.
It's so good. It is so okay. So you've seen it. Yeah, I've seen it. I've seen So isn't the a cry?
As a musician, is that like the equivalent of an applau break, or like a standing ovation or a spit take For a comedian.
I mean, you guys think, me, what what is it?
Oh?
Are you asking?
Okay, I'm asking any Yeah, I think it's I think it's the equivalent of For me, I will say as a comedian's equivalent of I have never had anyone say the things that I've been thinking, Yeah, my whole life, or something like that, where they're like, it's so true, even though that's such a obvious thing to say, or it's almost we A hacky thing to say in response to a comic is to go like.
It's some, but it's true.
It's like when you're able to touch on something that either like the Joe Macki joke has been there all long and it's like low hanging it seems like low hanging fruit, but no one's ever pointed it out. Those are great moments, that are these awakening moments of like, wait, why did we all know Hitler likes? Why you know blonde hair, blue eyes? Why has no one made that connection.
That's a brilliant moment of like cracking this thing. But then there's the other thing of everyone's kind of thought it, but are too embarrassed to even admit it to themselves, so they haven't even in their mind they've thought it, but they haven't even thought that thought, like that's a
weird thought. They just think it, and then they move on to something else, and then you are reminded of that thought you had that one time, and it makes you feel like, well, maybe I could have written that joke, and you could have if you were paying attention to your thoughts the way we are, in the way that we have to to mind.
For this stuff. But that's the way I feel.
What do you think, Brian, Like, what's the best compliment you could get from stand up or or you know, any of the art that you do.
I mean, the best thing I can One of the best feelings I ever had was I was doing a show at a bar in Vermont, and nobody knew that there was going to be a show, and they were all drunk and they were watching the fucking college football playoffs, which is like you're not going to pull them away from that, Yeah, and everyone was just going up into a meat grinder and just like one person and really some really like embarrassing things happened, like somebody took out
a dollar bill and put it in one of the comics pockets like they were a stripper. So it's like, this is not good. And then like something really weird happened, was like I I one of the comedians who I just met, came off stage and I was like, man, this is a this is a rough crowd. And then is this in this was No, it wasn't Burlington, it was it was around there Killington? Who was Killington?
Oh soundthing? You just made that up. Don't have a code factory, No they don't. They have a coat hanger factory.
That's yeah.
Yeah, a really weird moment after this comic I never met before, you know, we're all comics. So we get to talk and she came off the stage and I was like, good job, this is this this crowd fucking sucks. And she refused to admit that the crowd was bad. She said, I thought they were good. I thought they were fine. I was like, what what are you talking about? And I was like, oh, okay. Nobody the entire night got a single laugh, nobody even got anyone to pay attention.
And yet she's trying to go ahead, like me, into thinking that this is a good crowd. And then she left. She didn't even stay for the other comics. So anyway, I went still around doing comedy. I'm sure she is. I went up last on the show, and I fucking got them. I got it. It was the most, it was the most. It was the happiest moment of my life in comedy. For just like I figured out it's
almost like a parlor trick. I figured out what to do in that situation where no one's paying attention, everyone's drunk, they don't want to hear what you're saying. You can't just go up and do material. You need to do something else to get their attention.
And so I did. I did my I asked. I told people to yell apples at me.
Oh that's great at me, And I'll tell you what I think about it, and I did that hilarious.
They almost like picked.
Me up and like, you know, at the end of the sports oh My walk Down, I got like seven new Instagram followers.
It was incredible cool. That is a great at the moment.
Yeah, and uh so that's I guess would be like if someone was crying during a song.
Yeah, we know absolutely. What was the song that you sang? I don't think did you say it? Oh?
Oh oh so it's I wanted to talk about this earlier because it's it's been a while since this has happened for me.
But I have a new song for my funeral playlist that.
I need to be played if I die, and I haven't added it on Spotify yet to it, so listeners, I'm going to depend on you if I die. Please contact my parents and let them know this needs to be on my playlist. It's by boy Genius, who is the supergroup of Phoebe Bridgers and two other Lucy's Lucy Something and That and dacad Julian Illian Baker, Jillian Baker. I'm obsessed with those girls as well. I'm embarrassed that I didn't know their names yet, but I have not
had the time to dots on them. I haven't had the time to do deep dives on those girls yet, but I am or however they identify. I'm obsessed with them though, and I'm like each individual, Like I really was kind of rolling my eyes about this group at first because just everything Phoebe Bridges does is cool, and it's like, God, can she just not be cool for
one second? But this is a fucking great band and three part harmonies with all these women is and they're all great musicians, all great songwriters, and they all are like really actually good friends. I've watched countless interviews with them. They don't think they're cool at all, even though they are so like.
That adds to it.
They're kind of like that Matchbox twenty vibe of like they're not trying to be KA, like they are cool because and they make cool choices and you could accuse them of being KA, but they are not. They're genuine artists and they're great. But the song is called not strong Enough, And I found it because there was some Instagram.
Meme that was like.
It said something about like a basic bitch, like we know who you are, Like if you all you love all of these things you're struggling right now, because uh, it was. There was a couple of things on this like what are they called starter packs? You know when those memes do those things of like this is the starter pack for a soccer mom from Okay, you.
Know, plugged in And I've never seen one of those, but that sounds you've never seen starter pack.
That sounds like a great yeah, So this it's it'll just be like what that person would wear, like this kind of tanked up, this kind of water bottle, this kind of phone, these kind of shades, this kind of bumper sticker, and it was some starter pack for something and a couple of the things items on it. If anyone comes across this meme, please send it to me, because it's so hard to google a meme. You can't find them for the life of you. But it was
some kind of thing. It wasn't completely a starter pack, but it was about the type of girl. And it said something like and you have not strong enough by Boy Genius on Repeat or something like that, and I had never heard that song, but I related to almost everything else in the starter pack, where I'm like, well, this clearly is going to be up my alley and I started listening to it in the airport in Denver. I think coming back from your wedding. Oh, it was
it last weekend. No, it was this past weekend. So wherever I was was past. No, it was a weekend before. And I don't know where I was coming from. Did we have shows or something. I forget my life? Oh yeah, California. Yeah, yeah, yeah I did. I forget my life.
Yeah.
I was with my dad and I was coming back and I started listening to it and at first I was like, yes, it's all right, and then listen four or five, I'm hooked. And then by listen twenty, it's memorized. And then and then yesterday I started to learn it on guitar and then I finished it and now it's like complete and I have the whole thing memorized. And the guitar is very hard to do. The strumming is like Dean did ding ding ding ding ding di d
ding ding ding ding ding. It's like really really fast, and I was looking at it being like, okay, Nicky, calm down, You're not gonna be able to get this is too fast and this strumming pattern is too intricate. And it's too weird. You're gonna need like give yourself a month or two to get this down. Let's slow it down. And I only slowed it down once, and I was able to get it. After slowing it down once, I sped it up to it because I learned this lesson from.
My vocal teacher.
I'm taking like online, a course of She said that, Anya, and I thought this was very interesting. If you're ever recording something and it's too high for you, have someone just with their instrument take it down or take it up a half step and then just sing that up a half step and then go back to recording it, and it'll be so much easier because you're.
Doing it harder.
You're like working out with a so either you know, it was a great tip, and so I I went faster on it, and then by the time I went down it was able to get it.
So I've become obsessed.
And then I worked on it yesterday at my voice lesson, and then he gave me some pointers, and then today I came in and presented it and.
He cried, oh my god, that's so cool.
So I don't even want to listen to it because he always sends me the recordings, and it's better in my head than I'm thinking what it was. So I'm just going to leave it alone and just let it be and maybe listen to it in many years from now when I'm much better and I can go.
Oh, it's so cute you thought you were good and.
That you made him cry.
Like I remember photographs of myself that I was just absolutely disgusted by, like in my early twenties, and then I'll look back at them and be like, oh, I got to find that picture where I was really overweight, and then I'm like, I'm so cute. What was I think you?
Like?
I was fine? I was absolutely adorable.
Like its cares. It happens to me within you know. I just recently did a photo shoot in Phoenix and this guy sent all over all of the pictures. Yeah, the newspaper guy. Yeah, and I couldn't thank you. Yeah, good memory. You want to hear the headlines?
I can ye hear. And he hated them.
He hated them, he like quickly wrote back, Well, keep brainstorming.
I don't know what you guys are talking about.
While you're looking that up.
Can I just say nicky pod memes nicky pod memes. Can you do a starter pack for besties? That's a great meme for your That's a great what would be a starter pack meme?
You have to have my Nikki podcast t shirt.
Getting two I do, but only the first third of it at the book Getting too, I do.
Book Taylor Swift Columbine.
Yeah. I was going to say, actually, when people cry to music, the same when people say that you're my Taylor Swift to me, that gets through like nothing you would have. Like I know, I'm not expecting everyone to say that to me unless it's true. I would hate for you to say unless it's true. But you know the way I feel about Taylor Swift. If you communicate to me that I'm your Taylor Swift, I will like make love to you right now, like I will try
to give you everything. I will like put myself inside. I like grab people that say that because I just know I can't even imagine anyone would ever feel that way about me, And it just feels so fucking good.
Okay, what didn't I say?
Oh, it's so bad.
These were like because I was working with Chris to figure out what to say.
So the idea is I did a photo shoot.
And the guy wanted me to hold a paper and to look surprised at the newspaper, and then we were gonna write a headline. That's like me going, you know about the headline, but the headline was going to be a joke, right, So his like pitch was make it like Jeff Ross is funny or something. And I'm like Jeff like because he also photograph Jeff Ross. So he's like,
you guys have a back and forth. You guys roast each other, you know, something like that, not a like, yes, a bad idea, but also like it's fine, Like it's fine that it was bad. I have to type in the keyword. So I finally he was just like writing, like, do you have any ideas for this? Because this is the one that's going to go in his book like the and he's and I told him, let me come up with the idea for it.
So where did.
I remember your idea that you were throwing around on the pod?
What was it?
Aging comedy like figures out a way to get naked on?
That was too meta?
And I never said it, but that was the one I would have loved to do, Like if if I posted I'll write that.
Into the caption.
So you're holding the newspaper like above your body and you're not clothed.
Yeah, she's sitting on are like in a booth basically an open booth.
Like a diner.
Yes, yes, well, like it's in a booth and I have my legs crossed in the newspaper is like right over my legs.
And covering my boobs.
But I'm definitely you could tell I'm definitely not clothed.
Okay, let me see where I wrote.
The going to be on the back of the newspaper. But that's not the article you're reading.
But I guess I'm reading like where it says like see more, you know, like I'm reading this second part.
We know that you only read the third, so you would not make it to that.
I would never even I am in the I'm reading an ad for something, you know, like there's yes. So I was thinking Paul Rudd ages it would be a safe one, like something stupid like that teachers get pay raise, uh Wolf Blitzer.
Nudes lead would be funny.
I like that.
Female starlett keeps original nose and then spraytan causes cancer. And I'm very obviously spray tann in this photo, so I thought that would be funny and.
Word cancer probably.
He wrote, Please keep sending more as they come to you.
I didn't like them.
It's alright, Paul, there's it's a hard order because I don't want it to be like a classic joke. And I also didn't want to spend too much time on it because I'm not being paid and I'm not gonna put this picture anywhere because I it's not my favorite picture of the bunch. So there's only so much work you can put towards something that you know, like when someone asked you to do something and you go, you realize you've been working on it for an hour and you're like, wait, why am I.
Listen shocking about shocking article inside? Exactly? That would be that I would approve of because it's so op.
It's just like shocking article inside because you're looking at the inside bath bad bad bath, bed bath and beyond coupon inside and I'm like twenty percent off. But uh yeah, so that happened today. I made my teacher cry I'm going to see Ben Folds tonight and I'm I'll hopefully cry it some kind of song.
He sings.
I went to go see Holland Oates at the Hollywood Bowl and they saved their top three songs for the encore.
So the whole time you're listening out of the air. Yeah, you're listening.
The whole time, You're like, man, when are they going to play a rich girl?
When are they gonna play I can't go for that.
I can't go for that?
Yeah? And when? And then what's the other? Oh? H, you make my Dreams Come True?
And they they didn't play them for the whole concert, and then the encore comes and it's oh and then it's like, okay, and now we're gonna play you Make My Dreams Come True? And the fucking monitors broke the speakers, so, uh, hall or Oates, I don't know which one is. The main guy he couldn't hear himself, so he didn't stop singing, and instead of stopping the concert and going back and playing it, he just went like.
My monitors broke. Oops, I guess I can't sing this.
And then the band played through the song and then they just went on no.
So the other guy was doing harmony, like harmonies to things like the main the main vocals were not being.
Song the main and he was unapologized, like I can't hear myself.
I guess I can't sing.
Do you see the Lewis Capaldi clip where he loses his voice on stage and glasson Berry they all like fill in for him and sing his hit song sweet? What's his hit song?
That was sweet?
I couldn't watch it because I was so nervous for him. Apparently there's a documentary of him and I love him. On any chat show, talk about someone that you can say you love, which I don't.
My whole thing about loving actors.
You can love singer songwriters because they're being like actually vulnerable, and if actors write their own stuff, you can love them. But I'm not letting you say you like actors anymore. No one gets to say it. But uh, yeah, he seems like I love Lewis Capaldi. I think he seems like a really funny, humble, goofy, really just cute guy. And then that moment it class. I couldn't watch it, but it sounded cute. Did you watch it, Anya, where everyone sings for him?
Yeah? I did on mute exactly.
The thing that is like essential that you hear it.
Like that was really sweet on mute.
It was yet I could I couldn't fast enough.
I was like, I gotta hear this guy's scream for his dad as he's being eaten by a fucking bullshark.
I've seen so many shows like that, and I know a lot of singers who like they'll get sick of their song. Like, imagine if you guys recorded you know you have oh hi Dadams, and your fans expect you to deliver the joke exactly the way you did it at the age of twenty three.
Did it You'd be like, that's what you signed up for as a musician that wants to be a pop singer. Like it's a part of it that I know it sucks. That's why I don't go to Broadway shows. I think they're bored, and I don't want to see people do things they're bored of doing over and over all the time. And they didn't write the Broadway show. So there's also that for me where they're singing songs they didn't write. But Matchbox twenty, I don't give a fuck. If you
don't feel like singing unwell, you gotta sing it. You gotta sing it like the day you wrote it, and that's what Rob Thomas does because he appreciates his fan At first, when you first start doing stand up comedy, Brian,
you know this. You have to do the same jokes every night because you have to get good at telling them, right, Like, even now, I have to do the same you know, a lot of the same act and I don't get to deviate a ton, especially when I'm working towards a special, and it sucks because you're not as in it and it's a part of the process.
I don't like.
But if my life required me to do the same jokes I did at seventeen, that might have been hits them even now as I'm thirty nine, I would really resent it and probably not pursue it because it's not it's not what I want. But actually, no, that is what I'm pursuing. I do you you get it up and you sing Annie. There are times that you sing songs, you sing your songs that you've sang a billion times and you're kind of like, ugh, not feeling this night. What do you do to like get it up for it?
Like do you just or do you just go an autopilot or what do you do?
I'll make up my set. If I'm really bored, I like to challenge myself and be like, I'm gonna relearn, Like I'll do Broken Bottles, which has a hard strum or something like that. But if I'm I don't know, if I'm ever really truly not into a song, I just get into it. I'm just like you just do get into how cool this is. You're in a theater with all these people. I mean, there are definitely rough shows and rough crowds, like Brian was talking about, and
that was the best thing to hear. You win them over. But yeah, yeah, I mean I've I think going I agree with you going to a show where you see someone like an Icon do a bunch of hits like acid Jazz, which I saw someone who shall remain nameless, but everyone knows her name, and she just was bored on tour and was doing every song in a weird avant garde jazz fashion and it sucked one, two, three, not that it was a different one. I did go see Feist, and I was so excited to hear my
Moon my Man. I love that song, and she had chosen on that tour and I love her. I love all their stuff. But on that tour she was like, yes, dimming the theater so that all of the lights were it was like twilight, like you could barely see and on stage they had like barely any lady. And then every song was so slow and she did like one, two, three fold, I'm not exaggerating that fast.
Are we get Brian's wedding? Let's speed it up?
When's the draw was like, you can do that in the beginning for songs where we go, Okay, they're having a little liberties. Get back to it though, get on those bpms that we know and like, and we want it at the speed we want to sing it too.
Okay, we'll be right back after this.
Okay, we're back, so Anya ahead of the wedding, what are we feeling?
What are the vibes?
Are you?
Are you?
You? Are you excited to have that moment that Brian Frangie had where afterwards you get to be like it's over and then you get to just sip your tea.
I hope all I hope is my parents are in one piece. Everybody's like makes it to the wind one piece?
You want them? You don't want your dad to wear that?
I just want everyone want to stay healthy. My mom has like some health issues. So I just hope everybody makes it to the wedding and that you know, I write my vows eventually I have not even begun, and then I pick out the right songs and then I can just have fun. I'm excited to do it.
Do you know what you're walking down the aisle to.
Yeah, his friend Chris Hansen, who's in the Natural Lines with him, is going to play live. He's going to do a song on guitar. He started playing some Paul Simon at the other day and I was like, dude, can you play that? It was like so pretty, some fingerpick thing, and then we might walk off to Coda Chrome because I love that song. And Nikki and I played the Kodak Theater in I forget what that was upstate somewhere.
Yeah, I don't know, get too.
But it was and I did Codo Chrome and I just love that song, and he was like, I know it, I'll play it. So we're going to go a little Paul Simon vibe or maybe I'll walk down the aisle to Nico's. These days is it Velvet Underground and Nico, I don't know. He played something that was really pretty.
I walked down the aisle to Simon and Garfunkle. You did Yeah, you did Marathon. Yeah. It was a guitar dual guitar version of America. Oh my god, good.
Chris was talking about doing America last night.
Maybe we'll do that.
And what did you walk off to when they go way now? Pronounce you husband and wife for a.
While, I'm dancing in the moonlight by King Harvest. Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do?
I didn't even know he did music for these parts.
I know.
Now Noah's starting to get the residual. She's getting the is in the final stretch, so she's kind of like going some stress and now it's being now nos Like, God, I gotta think of a song to come off to. Meanwhile, I'm adding to my funeral playlist.
Wad I love that.
I was talking to someone the other day as tube, but God knows what I'm going to be carried down the aisle to.
Yeah. I was talking to my ex manager the other day we still have a friendship, and he was like, what have you been working on? I'm like, oh, just all the ship I have to do that. I'm like you know, getting all my shit together with finances. And I got a financial advisor and he have me doing like an estate plan and he's like, I couldnot believe you're doing an estate plan, like getting my will together and everything. And he's like, actually, that's one hundred percent
on brand with you. And he worked with me a decade ago. So I guess I've always been like this, like.
Planning for the end. Yes, the Jewish shit, it's a nice thing to do.
Yeah, it does make sense. Have you talked to your parents about this their end of life plan or mine?
Yeah?
Like I think it's just like the So my therapist said there's three conversations that are the hardest to have, and it's death, sex, and money. Yes. And Avi's dad just called him the other day and he's like, Oh, could you call me back. I want to you know, like I went to my gravesite and I think I really like it now and I want to give you some there.
And I'm like, your dad talks to you about this stuff. This is like that's really cool. Yeah, that's a hard conversation. I talk about it so often with my parents that it's become normalized for me to be like.
Dad, do not get that geode.
I do not want to have to hold this up with Lauren someday and go do you want this or do I want this?
Or do we throw this away?
This geode that dad bought when we were in Arizona on a trip, that he doesn't need, that's just sitting on this shelf. So I referenced it all the time, you know, even this past weekend. I was playing my dad's guitar and he was like, it's so cool that I'm gonna have someone to give my like my guitars will still be played after I'm gone by like someone
that is me, you know, part of me. And then he started going like and I'm trying to get Arlow into it, and I go no, no, no, And he was like, I'll give Arlow a guitar, and I go, well, Arlow will have to go through me. I will have to die then Arlow will get I'll give Marrio don't
get any idea. But no, we talk about the death thing a lot, but also not really talking about it because if I really I can talk about my dad dying, and but if I engage my actual brain and turn it on, then my voice starts going like this, I can't handle it, and I will not go there really, but I do talk about it all the time because I think it's the thing that scares me the most. Waits well with the other one's sex. I got no problem with that. Death And then money, Yeah, money, I
also have no problem with you. Annie was saying that her dad was going to ask everyone. She was like, She was like, just someone needs to run defense on my dad's I'm scared he's gonna ask Nicky and Kate how much money they make a year. And I was like, I'll gladly tell your dad what I make in a year. It's absurd. I'm proud of it. It's weird he can tell everyone. I don't give a fuck. We need to be more transparent. People need to know what actors are making.
And it's not fair because you.
Don't judge people and I do, and you allow people to be weird and who they are, and I don't.
I'm not always I'm pretty degmental. But your dad asking we should be able to talk about money. I remember Judah Friedlander, comedian, once told me that every comedian should tell each other what they make on gigs. Yes, so that we know what to ask for because we all don't know.
None of us is right. That's unionized and that's all. That's a huge dude, It's true.
And you can get in trouble though for finding out or trying to find out, like certain companies, because they want to pay you all less. And it's like some I remember someone got an email that told them what everyone at their company made and they were like blown away at the discrepancy based on the job titles that are all the same and how much it's like. And so I don't like to talk about it because it sounds like I'm bragging, and which in a way it is.
I'm not going to deny that.
Like I'm like, sometimes I get an offer and I go, I can't believe I was, you know, I even said on here I was offer, you know, to do that Dave Matthews thing. It was like forty three thousand dollars, which I was bragging, yes, But I'm also like, this is the kind of money these places have. People need to know about it, and people also need to know this is the kind of money. People like me that have this kind of money, you better see us spending
it towards good things. You better see us donating. You better see us like paying our taxes. You and I feel like I do do those things. You better see us lending money to our friends who might be in dire straits, who may or may not pay us back anytime.
But the problem, I mean, you're you're, you're such a part of it.
I've in the one percent. Well, it's the corporations. They have so much more money than any of us.
Can you imagine obviously, But if we don't hold me to a standard or someone that's making as much money as me, then you can just we can just keep going up the change and going, well, I don't make as much money as Walmart. It's like, no, I have more money. My mom the other day was like, we're taking you out to dinner, neck you and you're and your dad and I are taking you out to dinner.
Where do you want to go?
And I was like, I want to go somewhere nice, So I'm gonna pay, okay because I don't want And she goes, We're going to Flavors. Do you want to do Flavors Indian? And I'm like, yes, but no, I really want to go to this Miley place and there's like, I know, the entrees are like twenty two dollars, it's way overpriced, and my Mom's going to go, this is ridiculous. And I know they want to pay, and they want to treat me because I'm their daughter and I give them so much and and it's nice to let people
pay for you sometimes. I'm not trying to steal that from them. But I just told my mom, it really is dumb for you to that money means something to you, and like you that goes towards like a trip you're saving for, whereas to me, I don't have a lot of family, this is what I want to spend my own money on. So it would be like we went to a place and I had a gift card there that's expiring.
Tomorrow, and you paid.
Yeah, that's how it feels to me to not let me pay because it doesn't need You need to spread the wealth, you need to be generous with it. So I think that's why people that's why I tend to talk about these figures is because.
I don't know. I wouldn't. I was Amy and I used to always hang out Schumer.
I used to find out what she made for things and I just remember being like, no fucking way, Like I didn't even know that was possible. You could make that money as.
An ask for that when you get to that level and you did.
Or yeah yeah, and sometimes as I do, but like, it's just it makes me realize I didn't get into comedy for that money because I did not think that kind of money was in comedy ever. I thought that kind of money was for Jaylaw, not like yeah, Ali Wong and me, you know, but it's it.
Is, and I'm proud you bitch.
Well it's I'm just I just got lucky.
That's all it is.
But thank you for being felt. We need like a side felt. No even when she said.
A voice she's got that she's born with it.
I know I'm not denying that, but I'm saying that is luck that I was born with that. If I was born with something, it's luck. It's all luck. But you can still be proud of my luck. And thank you for saying that.
I just say about people who work in corporate corporations because I know that there's people out there who every year they go up for their raise and they can ask for three percent or they can go big and ask for ten percent, and you have to know that corporations will pay you as little as they can get away with and not a pan I need more than that. They will go as low as they can that you're willing to accept. And if you're afraid to ask for ten percent or three percent, just know that they don't
give a fuck about those percentage points. They don't doesn't mean anything to them. You ask for as much as you think you're worth, and what I've seen is they will respect.
You more if you ask for more money.
Yes, yeah, it's so to my soone in my life was trying to talk about doing a raise and was so terrified of because he's He's like, my job is already so great. It's as I love my job so much. I don't want to ask for more money because I would do this for less money. But the mount he works and the value that he the job is easy for him because he's good at it, and that is why he's That's why it's easy. And I struggle with this too, Wermland, it's easy, So why am.
I getting paid a lot?
It's like that's you're you're being compensated because it is easy for you.
And he is he could not.
He kept being like, I'm gonna ask for like two percent more, and I was like, this, this company I know, I know would not that it is not anything to them to give you fifty percent more. It would not mean anything to their bottom line to give you a fifty percent raise and one hundred percent, So you not asking for at least ten is absurd. So I hear what you're saying, Brian, like these companies they can do it.
There is the money there, and I always think that there isn't because I also know that when I'm negotiating and someone's like, ask for an extra one hundred grand because Whitney got that on this, she made millions on this, and you're just getting this ask for extra hundred I know that universal, whoever the studio is, that it all ends up going to Jeff Bezos can afford to a
extra one hundred thousand. But what I'm thinking about is the departments that are in charge of those financials that they do have a little bit of titan purse strings. And I don't want Diane from Accounting to get in trouble because I'm asking for more. So I'm what do you think about that? When I'm thinking, when I'm thinking about these corporations, I'm like, yeah, of course, fucking whoever owns the CW can give me more money for f boy islet I know they've got it. Whoever's paying CW
has the money to give me more. But I'm worried about CW, who's like trying to make do with what they have, and whoever's working in they're what do you say to the.
Bole anyway, whether you ask for that money or not, it comes. It comes from a different budget, you know what I mean?
Right?
But whoever makes the budgets.
They have money, They have wiggle room. They they know how much money they can play with. And is it going to be you that gets the ten percent or is it going to be fucking Brad who had the balls to ask for it. It's gonna be somebody. Just so let it be you ask for it, get that money.
They have it, And what's the worst thing that can have Because I think some people are probably listening going like okay, but what if they go no, and then you're fired?
Because why would you ever ask for ten percent more? Your fail far to you because it will cost life.
I won't way more than ten percent of your salary to find someone to replace you and train them.
It's not worth it to get rid of you.
True? Is it that when you want things from people, they like you more. When you respect yourself and demand more things, people think you are more valuable.
It's what you got.
You're sing the tactic right now in a thing where it's like it's it's just absurd how much that works, and I don't like it?
You know that?
That is that the more you ask of someone, the more they end up liking you, because they have to convince themselves, like I wouldn't just be giving this girl this thing for free unless I liked her, So they they convince themselves they like you, even if they don't. It's kind of fucked up because it's a manipulation, but it works.
And there's another reason.
Sorry, there's another reason why people want ask for more money, and that's because to tell that's because they feel like that, well, I like this company and they're like my family and they treat me so well, and I don't want to push the envelope. And that's another thing that everyone has to realize. Your company does not give a fuck about you at all, at all.
What oh, Brian, But Brian, this is a mom and pop company. And even though the guy at the top is a billionaire or maybe a multi hundred millionaire, he's my good friend and he really does care about me. I mean, he was at my kids, he was at the Christenage.
Just wait my child till a larger company buys that guy's company and then does layoffs and gets rid of everything that you've ever loved about the company and eliminates you. And that's why you got to get your money when you can just get it, get your money.
I'm kind of the point of view of I like what you guys are saying, and I do believe in a lot of it. But I'm also like, I know what I need, and I don't just want to ask for like an exorbitant amount just to see if I can get great. Like I like to live within my means, and also I like to save, obviously, and I like money, and I like having the convenience of money, but like, I also like job security. And I know a bunch of people that were laid off because they were too
expensive for that company. Like if this happens in radio all the time, they like fire the program director, because the program director was making you know, two twenty a year or something, and everybody else is making sixty a year. So let's get rid of him or her because we'll save two twenty a year.
That would have happened anyway, because accept the difference is they would have been making one eighty a year and they would have been laid off at least make the two twenty for the time you're there.
Good point.
And I do believe I know what you're saying on you where it's like I often say that too. Where there was a recent thing that my agents called me about and without going into total specificifics, they were saying, you're in this deal. Final thought. My agents called me and they were trying to get me on the phone. They're like, in this deal, you are. Part of the deal is that you're going to have to do more work and it might not be more money for you.
In the end. There's a little bit more.
Money, but it's not enough to maybe be putting your name out there that much. They get to use your name a lot, and you're not getting a lot out of them using your name. And then I said, I hear you, but having my name out there in any context where I'm saying I'm Nikki Glazer and it's playing on anything else is always good unless it's annoying, unless
my name is associated with something annoying. But they were saying, like, this is not cool that they're going to use your name a lot, and I go, but I'm not not benefiting from this because the more my name is out there in any way, That's why I do tons of game. I do a lot of appearances for free on networks because I know the value of that airtime, whether that is an AD or not. And they're making money off of me being associated with this thing. You know, there's
an upside to that as well. So it's like and it's like, is it much more work for me? And am I gonna be that greedy and be like I want more money? Probably I should be, But at the same time, I'm like, let me just throw that. Maybe if I throw them this bone, they throw me other bones down the line, right or something like that. But there is something too, and there's something to I don't need more more, Like I think some people get so greedy. I mean, we're seeing it with the billionaires who are
trying to cage fight each other. They're like, we kind of gave up this, like this money race, like because we realize it's just like we know they're always a competition, you know, the Zuckerberg and the base is it Zuckerberg and Musk are gonna cage fight, which just sounds like something that is a made up thing by AI, but it's real that they're actually.
Trying to do it.
Deleted from Mediocracy.
Yes, and I realized it's probably because they already like know who won the money thing and the power thing, and they're kind of bored of that, and they're like, now it has to come back down to like.
Arm wrestling, like for us.
Like we've already we already known.
Show us their penises and be like a penis SWORDI fight.
That's I would I would pay per views for that if they just revealed Mark Zuckerbert's little flaccid penis.
Were listening one and must fine penis.
We're obsessed with going up and down. They want to go into space or they want to go underwater?
What going.
Because they cannot be contained and they constantly are unsatisfied, and I mean, what any gram are they We're becoming obsessed with Anyagrams and the girls chat bingo card we I'm a three nine with Obama.
Obama's nine two? Now what are nines like?
Peacemaker?
Peace maker and.
They don't mind being like helping three Yeah.
We're really good at supporting others and being like co hosts and like co stars and in a support position.
I always tell people this, Anya could have been Taylor Swift if she wanted to be like she has. I don't want to be and the voice I'm not kidding you, you don't want to be had a deal and you were starting to get signed up, like you were starting to have that kind of rise to fame back if we go to the Twilight Times and Anya was like, this is too much pressure.
It's kind of too much for me.
I'd like to I'd like to be in theaters, but not in shed's not stadium.
But to be Fiona Apple, you have to have done like a ton of press and all the things that you didn't want to do.
You didn't want.
That life of being having emails constantly coming in like you want what Fiona Apple has, but what it took to get there you just weren't. You didn't you were like this isn't like what my This isn't my style, and I respect that so much. I don't understand it. It's like, it's so it's so cool to me because we do need some of each But I can't understand having someone go being born with the talent and then obviously working hard to.
Do.
But you, I've watched you, and I'm like, she has everything Taylor Swift has. There's no difference between their two talents and literally none. The only thing is that Taylor Swift is a three and shary An that's that's the best compliment. That's almost better than ride during your song coming from no I.
Will, I would. I'm not kidding you.
Anya Marina is as talented as a songwriter as Taylor Swift and could be just as prolific and all these things.
But she's not a three.
She's a nine, and so she things that make that get her off to quote my mom, HI.
Do not are not the same things.
And that's what's so fascinating to me is that you can be born with all of these things, but if you're not the type of person who's motivated by praise and people loving you and strangers thinking you did a good job, and that's not like what fills you up. Then then you're not gonna like pursue that. And I think I love I love the idea of someone being so talented and just being like I'm good, like it's so cool and you are that.
Maybe I mean, I definitely would love to sell out theaters. I'm just too afraid.
And anxious an come on, accept compliment, be a good compliment.
Acceptor sh No, she did have a compliment, But I don't know if it's so much like I don't want it. I don't think that's totally true, because the truth is, I guess it is.
No.
I think I would love to like be playing theaters, playing like an hour of my show and not have to stress about selling out right.
But you but to get that, you have to do those other things, and you're not willing to do those things. So I am saying, you're like, no, thanks, I just could leave that I can do it. Probably that's not that's not true you because I've talked to you about your music confidence and you have.
By the way, Fiona Apple doesn't do a lot of interviews. I think Fiona Apple made some incredible records. I think, and I haven't made records that are like really resounding with people in this time of like TikTok and Instagram. I'm not willing to do all that. You're right, I'm not like willing to be online all the time.
But what I'm saying is you could and you're just not willing to. And that is maybe that's true because you're not.
It's true.
I'm like, I don't know how to do like may do that or you would enjoy, but you don't.
You wouldn't enjoy it because you would be stooping to something that isn't artistically authentic to you. And that's not to say Taylor Swift does stoop so that, but Taylor Swift talked with a country accent for many years and she doesn't have one. So this girl did do things that were outside of what she wanted to do. She's not from you fit in, No, She's from Pennsylvania and she went to Nashville. But she she said, y'all a
lot when she was coming out. That was what they were packaging her as, and she went, you know this, and she's a child. By the way, there's no shape. I'm not throwing shade on Taylor for saying y'all. And by the way, I would fucking say y'all if I was being a country star for a few if that's what I was going to start.
Doing, you know, and like yeah the teen parents country for like yeah, it's it happens.
But we had to find out how Brian is any a gramar Ran yet?
Do you know what any gram you are? No idea, I'll pay you twelve dollars to take the test.
Know what too, because it's twelve dollars to take the test, but then you get a really good answer of what any gramm you are, I'll send the test and ask.
For twenty four.
For twenty four, okay, I'll give you fifteen dollars to do it. I will give you a ten percent raise. I think this is what it kind of amounts to. Great show today, guys. Thanks for being here, Thanks for listening to the podcast. You guys. I hope everyone has a great Anya's wedding weekend. I got so many tour dates coming up. Let me just rattle some of the off Vegas. Well that's not going to be until September again,
but get those tickets now. September twenty ninth and thirtieth, Chicago, September fifteenth.
That's a big one.
Guys, if you were in the Chicago area, want to plan weekend to Chicago the Chicago Theater. It's a huge venue. I want to sell it out so badly. I desperately want it, and I would love for every one of you besties to make an impact in selling that out.
It would mean the world to me.
That'll be September fifteenth, then Peoria, Illinois the next day, September sixteenth, Calgary, Albert I'm coming to Canada. I'm doing a casino in Minnesota, Napa, California, Wheatland, California, San Francisco, San Diego, Iowa, Lawrence, Kansas, my college town. If you or anyone in that area, the lead Center, I'm going to be back there, so fun. Boston, Maryland, Delaware, Atlantic City, We're doing again Portland, and then I will be in Munhall.
Someone said, Nikki, come to Pittsburgh or Philly. I think mun Hall is close to one of those. Detroit, Michigan, Denver, Colorado, mass A, tans to Tucket. I don't know what that one is, but that's not everyrary. Don't worry about it. I'll tell you later.
Thank you guys for listening to the show. Mash and Tucket.
Well, I don't know sounds.
It's like something you.
Tell someone who wants to who's playing the first time?
Is it mass transport Tucket, nash Tucket. That's how you remember it. I'll be there February seventeenth. Thank you guys so much for listening to the show.
Don't be coo and digit test for that raise bitch.