#355 Nikki's Feet, Tips For Brian, Comedian's Impersonated & More Shark Attacks

Okay does that count? No, it doesn't count. You got to see the people like, yeah, it's been a long time.

It's been a long time coming.

But here we go, you and me. That's my whole world. They whisper in the hallway. She's a bad, bad girl. So what Okay, good job, A good job.

I ain't someone something was shouting, but I got the words wrong.

Okay, well let's see what Noah can do.

I'm drunk in the back of the car and a cry baby coming home the bar.

Oh something time, but it but it was true. I don't want to keep.

Secrets, just to keep you and snacks, not get through the garden gate every night summer.

And as.

I love you, ain't.

The worst you everard not a nightmare, get in like a devil, devil. I was just thinking a nightmare. But that was great.

I know, oh good, everything was like Taylor Swift.

That was really good.

Not you knew it all.

I knew it.

I didn't know we're doing.

Just couldn't do it on the spot. Okay, let's start the show. This is great pre show banter.

Test song, Oh yeah we killed Are you ready for it?

And three two one the Nikki Glaser Podcast.

Niklasers Nikky, Hello, it's me Snicky Glazer Podcast.

Welcome to the show. Moms looking at me weird? Why I don't know, you're just looking at it because.

Making again, it's like when you were tarp at the Taylor Swift concert when you were stuck inside that you were so funny.

My hair's kind of way.

Look you did you just get out of the shower or was there a rainstorm? Oh yeah, I always show up to things with wet hair. I'm sorry, there should be no shame.

Women are always like, I'm my hair's wet.

It's like anyone else would get ready for this? Not yes, but I'm like, I'm.

Go with care. And we don't have any YouTube.

Listeners unless we used to get hold on I forget or forgot to take off my shoes.

I'm doing now, I'm going now.

I'm doing no shoes for to get more fans on our YouTube because that's the only place you can.

See my feet. It's on the dune. Yeah, oh there we go. Maybe I'll start putting them back on.

So if you are into feet and bunions especially, you gotta check out the YouTube Ganel because I'm always hiding my feet, and I'm like, why what am I?

What did I do to have these feet?

They are kind of grotesque, but I did not try to make them grotesque. I didn't like them in some way. I'm a good person that's tried my best with my feet. I don't need to be ashamed of them. Even if they are like orange on the bottom from they're not orange or not.

I was like, look at looking they are in the bottom.

Really yeah, no, they your feet look great, mom, Look at that bunion sticking out.

It's it's it.

It looks like to the Northwest, I know, it looks like my dad's feet.

Are you turned on by them.

A little bit?

This is talking about something, No, it's it's it is environmental. We both wear small shoes, but you know, really it's not a genetic it's it isn't fly research on bungeons wearing small shoes. Yeah, and then your bones will do that, yeah, because I well, I always wanted to have it. Looks pants used to look cuter with small shoes when I was in like collagen stuff like with flares, like you wanted to peek out like a little bit.

So I would wear like eight and a half instead of nines. I have never heard this feet.

It's going Japan.

That's my foot looks like it was went through the fucking ming dynastic, the smallest feed in my family. Yeah, because you wore small shoes, because they never bought me new shoes. I know that's bullshit. It's a big woman.

You had small shoes. You probably had shoes like a little pig like your your feet.

These little clothing why they called me the hooves?

These shoes are getting popular again the other day.

Clothing. They freaked me out. Oh, I think they're so weird. You No, I didn't. You did on a show for a joke.

Yeah.

Yeah, they were literal horseshoes to make you look like a horse, because this was like for pony play.

People that are like these are like goat shoes or what animal has cloven hooves? Pig pigs women, pig women, And there's no I'm gonna spend eight hundred dollars like Beyonce.

Mom, when you hear Beyonce's the goat or something like that, what do you think.

I've never heard that.

You've never heard that. No one's ever called you the goat? No, Oh my gosh, so this is the thing is so funny. There's so many young women talking about how it was. I think it was like Meryl's Streep. Was Jennifer Lawrence or something was in an interview with Meryl Streep and she was like, hey, you know, and she's the goat. And she's like, why people always call me a goat? And I guess I look like one, but it's not very nice. And she's like, oh my god, MARYL. You

Oh okay.

So someone's like, Julie, you're the goat. It doesn't mean they're lying.

If they call you pig woman, that means the prettiest truth in the globe.

Tom Brady's the goat, Michael Jordan's the goat, Lebron's the goat. I think goat's being over used a little bit. And now there's a new phrase called goaded. You've been goaded, which the kids are saying, which means like.

That means we've crowned you.

Yeah, or they just say goaded like like a phrase of affirmation. Goaded.

I think I stop saying it.

I don't mind any teen slang because we had it too, and old people were like.

We like this them saying groovy.

Or whatever, like there's always gonna be words that are new that old people are like, why are kids just saying sleigh instead of that sleighs or that?

Like, just stop being old and accept.

That there are young things that you're not into and it doesn't make them dumb, and it doesn't make you.

Smarter it you had it too.

I wish just to think of this, Like when miss Hannigan from Annie hated kids, I was.

Like, you were a kid, what are you talking about?

Did you hate yourself?

She probably did, Like anyone who was like I hate children, I'm always just like, no, you don't. They always have to be they have to be putting their fingers together like slowly.

Wait, let me give you a slang test. I see if you're familiar with some of these gen zs, I won't.

Be, but it's not I'm not gonna be like upset about it, like they're so dumb these kids, Okay, what is I'm not.

I don't claim to be a gen z expert or cool in any capacity, but I have learned a few phrases. Ap Okay, what does cap mean?

That means like no cap like lying, that's cap man like you're lying.

Yes, you could just say crap.

I learned this from f F boy.

Yeah yeah, you said crap instead of cap. Okay, what about bet?

I use it as a sentence bet, literally, I like it. No one can know one my age or in my generation can judge anyone from using like to shortening things to one thing, especially in my group of friends. We changed Laura Holly's name from Laura Holly to Holly as her last name, to Halla to huh to.

We just made it a sound, so there's you.

Can stand here of your own language. We did cure I mean, and could cover so much. So okay, bet is what bet is like?

For sure? Yes? I bet?

Yeah?

You bet? Yeah, it's take off the U you bet.

Yeah. Obviously this is too easy, you know. Cringe.

Yeah, that's like the number one thing I like worry about being. Oh it's almost like it's not so much like ew, it's like, oh god, that's so sad, right, Like when you see someone online like being and they're like trying to get attention and they're just like someone crying on Instagram is cringe?

Well, how would they say it? Would they just go?

They would They wouldn't say it. They would say to their friends behind that person's bag. No one ever would say the word cringe and that's it.

Oh it's cringe. Oh that's cringe, she's cringe, or like ew cringe. Yeah.

I think that's how they'd say it. I mean, I don't know.

I'm an old woman, but some.

Of these things I just learned on TikTok from like comments like did you know that? Instead of saying lol, kids are some kids are saying L E L. I don't know why, but that's what they're saying.

I thought it was like a typo at first, and then almost like the nube I think was a typo, like when someone was saying like you're a nubie and someone spelled it noob and then that became like you're I think it was based on a typo. I do like the origin of words like this, do you have any more?

No? But I have a question. So at what age, At a certain age or a certain developmental stage, everyone stops using the slang Like you don't see a lot of like seventy year olds walking around going like you know, oh yes you do, Like look at those Dappa legs. You know, like no one's talking like that, aymore. I feel you've learned.

Like one hundred and ten that are so we need.

But I will say that my parents whenever they ingest something legally in a state where it is legal to adjust marijuana in the form of a cookie or an edible, and they maybe have done it once or once in their life, what they will say A j you're getting off from that yet, and it's all getting high getting off And that was a common colloquial term. They always say,

I'm like, it sounds like you went down on.

You're asking her about it when you say I had edibles and did she get off from it?

I don't like it.

Nikki, you getting off from that that hit you took.

I'm just always like, and it could talk about like what you're feeling on drugs, like when I do drugs, I don't want to talk about I hate when any whenever I do drugs, I never want someone to be like you feel in it yet not because I'm.

Like I am so much and get your face it's like Alice in Wonderland, up in your get your face out of mind.

I'm just like I don't think it's cool. I'm ashamed of it. I just want to be in my head. That's how your dad talking, because dad is a healthy person that doesn't use drugs to like escape reality like I do. I use drugs to feel okay and just feel better about like to not be to not want to kill myself. Is when I'm drawn to drugs or just to like it's not usually to be like I want this laser show to be more trippy.

It's like I don't want to want to.

I don't want to lay in bed and think about suicide all day, so I'll smoke some weed, like.

You just want to get off a little bit.

But it's not I want to get off, it's just want to be.

But when you use any drugs, it's like so associated with like you're doing it to like I don't know, like to party or whatever, and it's like I'm just doing it, so I don't the first thing I think of is to cut myself when I you know.

Do something.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, I want to be normal.

Yeah.

My parents say get high when they're drinking wine. They're like, my god, a little high last night. I'm like weed and they're like, no, not grass. A couple of glasses of wine and are not films about us.

I'm dying to hear more anecdotes about your parents being in Kingston right now on you begin, and I've heard a couple of them in the girls chat, but I'm just wondering which ones you can share here, and like why are you in hell? And like, just tell me what I'm in for because your parents are a little bit older than mine, a bit older. What are their ages?

They're eighty and eighty one, but they wouldn't want me to tell you that, but they are. And they'll never hear this because yesterday my mom's like, well and podcast is for later?

What is it? And I'm like, to be the app. I'm like this little purple thing on.

Your iPhone that's the podcast app? And she's like why do people go here? I'm like, do you want to search for Russia or Putin?

Are Ukraine?

And she was like, oh my god, like it was a treasured I'm like, there are hundreds of Russian podcasts.

Are you kidding me?

Hundreds? There are hundreds of thousands, Yes, three.

Billion podcasts that are on the like right now.

And I've done No, there are a thousand of them. Yes, there are zero.

Think how many people. That's why I always tell people, start a fucking podcast. If you were like someone that's in middim, like someone that has no potential of like making it in the world or whatever, but you always have this like secret passion to like be a broadcaster, or to be a comedian, or be an actress or some kind of like talking personality, start a fucking podcast.

We're starting a podcast. Everyone has a podcast in two thousand ten.

You were so ahead of the curve.

We had that conversation though that, like this is so cliche. Everything I started since then, Yeah, always had that conversation. I go, it's irrelevant. That conversation is irrelevant. Podcasts are here to stay. It's the It's the first thing that anyone at home can do with a simple microphone. You gotta do it, and there's no judgment if you're not good at it or if no one listens, Like no

Wait, you can just go on a podcast app and like you just.

Put a podcast up an.

No one needs to approve you need to approve you.

And there's not like even you have to do so many at one No, I mean I do, could one contract my heart? But like I could, when we did, you had to be there. That was all up to us. We set the rules, we set the parameters, we set how many. If we missed an episode, we weren't like answering to someone. We didn't even have ads on that one, so we weren't making any money off of it.

But past is the same way. This is the I didn't no one asked me to do that. Then I just kept going by yourself?

Was it just you? Y?

Isn't that cool?

Yeah?

I'm Do you think when Rupert Murdoch started Fox he was like, we're going to start another channel exactly like CBS NBC. Right. I do feel like there are some channels though that people should say that for these days, Like on cable. Have you seen cable lately? Oh God, there's some crazy channels out there. Have you seen Comedy dot TV?

No, I know the other that brand.

It's basically just like the Byron Allen Network. It just it's so fun to watch Comedy dot TV. I actually love what because it shows reruns of comedians doing things in like two thousand and five. It's like a time capsule of what comedy was like. Not that long ago that show, yeah, but like long enough to be like I saw a episode of What's the Show with Byron Allen comics Unleashed Leased, which is such a funny name because it's like they're the.

Most game show.

They could not be more leashed. But before the show started, Byron Allen came on. This is all from watching Comedy TV. A new channel on cable. If you have any cable, Byron Allen comes on. He goes, you're not gonna believe what I have on the show today. I call your family, call your friends, because I'm gonna show you something today that you have never seen. I promise you you have never seen it in your entire life. And then I watched the entire episode and I'm like, what the fuck

It was a man to woman, a male to female female trans It.

Was No, it was it was a man. It was a female and a man. Oh wow, yeah.

And is that person still around around?

They're still around there, still in La. I forgot their name, but uh, they're doing fine.

Yeah, that's so so fucking different back then. I I mean it, I saw I saw trans girl yesterday walking down in my neighborhood, and and I knew because she wasn't passing that well as a woman or you know, like but it doesn't matter, Like that's a look in

It?

It was so embarrassing just figuring out what's like.

Even Noah has been a woman for a really long time and just was recently like what do women wear at my age?

Like I don't know. She had to look at a list on Pinterest and follow it.

Like I really give it up to every trans person out there who is trying to that is doing their best to like be themselves and fit into this new category for themselves out of nowhere. Because it is awkward. You get lots of stairs people whisper tons of shit about you.

People have we.

Conceived notions about it and it's and this girl, I was so worried for her because I had been walking. I'd finish my run and I was just going for a walk and I saw lots of like vagrant homeless people kind of screaming during this walk and kind of you know, would switch sides of the street to get away from it. And I'm like, if one of these people who's a little chaotic in the head see this girl, there could be violence, Like there could be an especially

A moneymaker, you might No, I wouldn't.

I would.

You would never do that.

No one would ever pretend to be homeless if he's that crazy?

Lois this guy him?

He's just a guy. We don't know. I don't know him. But my mom screamed, and we know your we know what you're up to.

We know you're and she's.

And if he's willing to do that, let him have it, because I'm not willing to do that.

Well, if he's harassing car the road.

Maybe he's filming an episode of Nathan for you or something.

No, he's been doing it for a while. We'll talk more about that. Well, this is the end of my trans rant. But if anyone transent over but love trans people obsessed with them keep fighting your good friend.

Happy.

Yeah, seriously at it. Happy Pride month. I love you all trans people. Okay, and we'll be back from break in just a second. All right. So you know that Noah went to the Taylor Swift concert with me Friday and we we got.

The say swifty New Swifty in town.

I'm like, here's the thing that she's released, all these like international dates, like tons more than her more than she has in the US, and oh my god, you're Chris and Chris. This is Chris's way of getting me to travel.

Now he goes he sent me what is sweety? He goes here, He sent me all the dates. Why are you saying, here we go? What are you gonna say?

Well, here we go to her favorite thing. That's how he's gonna get her to Singapore. Okay, well I get to see Singapore and Taylor Swift and so no he he sent me a screenshot and was like, I, uh, we should go pick one, pick these that you want to go to, and we'll try to go. And I'm like, this is the best thing because he'll get to go see his little country that he wants to go see and take out his postcards and go run around and try his little foods that he wants.

And choose the country with no mountains so that you don't have to go hiking.

Yes, you can go hiking without mountains. You can go hiking on the beach. You can go hiking dangerous.

Chris doesn't love hiking. He likes He just likes moving. He likes being on the move. He doesn't like to sit and have like a nice tea. Tea, as Anya says, we learned in Europe. Sorry, I'm talking a million miles a minute, but I had just had a lot of day.

Anya.

We found out in Europe, and I found this for a while. But I just, you know, you notice something and you're like, I'm gonna wait for the right time to bring this up because she might be offended that I've been harboring this thought about her. But Anya, when she says the word ta, it takes.

Her about thirty minutes to get thirteen.

She says, oh, you guys, and does anyone want some tea? She lingers on the word tea. You'll start to notice it. She can't help it.

She loves tea so much she wants to taste it.

And she says it and then I caught myself, I do not. And then the next day I'd be like, I'm gonna get a cup of tea and it was just like a little long like, oh my god, I am doing it.

What watch a couple episodes month wait for her to finish that.

And then Nikki was like, it's actually a lot like the woman who cultivates bees.

Have you seen her?

And then she sent me all these instagrams that connection.

Yes, saving the bees.

Have you ever seen the bee woman?

Yes, we talked about her on the show. Okay, oh yeah, long ago. But she Oh my god, you would love it.

Mom.

She's this woman that goes into places. She's obsessed with bees. She's in Texas and she goes in and rescues bees.

It's like kind of seeing this girl's gonna be like a barn that's like, you know, bulldozed, and she's like and there was another great day of saving the bees.

But she talks like a bee and so and that's why she doesn't get stung, is she is a bee. She like goes in and she's.

Like, and I found the queen and then I placed her in the hive and then all the bees slowly went and met with her, and it was another great day of saving the bees.

And I'm gonna go have some tea. But it's so soothing. It's so but she is a bee.

That's amazing. Those people that go in and get the big.

High I would do it in a second. I'm not scared of bees at all. It's one of my superpower. I'm not scared of bees.

I've never been a girl that's like, get it away. I guess that's how they get Yes, if you.

Are relaxed bees, bees will die if they sting you. They don't want to sting you, So if you were just relaxed around them, they could walk all over your hand.

They're not going to sting you. If they're on your can don't go like yeah, but it doesn't hurt that bad.

It's not like people act the way I act on two lane highways, like I have a right to highways for people driving around. There's a good chance that we will. There's not like, oh it's gonna hurt a little bit. We're gonna die catastrophically if there is any kind of user error. But then girls are like at a picnic table and a bee is on their soda and they start running around like there's a forest fire starting and it's like, calm down, just move the can gently to.

Get at it.

And they can't all be I think girls, it's like the word moist. They like being scared of little things, and I know that they are. I think some are actually scared, but I think it is and I've and I'm definitely guilty of this too. So if you're scared of bees, I'm not talking shit on you, because I do believe you have a real fear and we all

Alone. Really, I mean, I was walking around one of the places I stayed at. There were so many bats and they would just fly around. They would get really close to you as almost like they were like check it out, I'm gonna kill you, and it would fake you out, but it would never touch you. Never, never the location and the moms.

Moms are like bat bat but bugs.

Because a wasp could sting you over and over and over.

It always looks like it's dragging cargo places like it's always just like, it's always hand it'll come back, and sting was.

But I also why I know about these. I believe that wasps are only stinging. I could be wrong.

I believe they only sting out of defense. So again, if you remain calm, nothing is going to hurt you in this. But that's what I'm saying. You have to, like, you have to talk yourself into understanding that the fear that you're thinking about is not real. The only reason that they would ever hurt you is because you're scared. So the thing that starts it is your fear. And if you can you know and listen. I have so

This is my mom's favorite song.

And then Noah's watching it, and then Noah whispers to me, what did you whisper?

I was like, oh, I can see why Julie likes it because it totally has crow vibes. Right, that's all that's missing are the crows.

It was so funny. I love crows.

Thank you, Noah. It was so croy roy. It was crow Klardashian. It was. It was because it was so it was a crow vibe. You do like witchy things. I do. They are andurious and I like it.

But you changed your mind crows to me. You like sent me a text one day that was like, sorry, I'm out on crows.

Don't get me. Don't get me.

Why researched it a bit? You get me a crow like I was talking.

To my crow guy like you were in on and You're like, I'm gonna get her.

Opened a place called the crow Bar. O god, that is so funny. Here's a great band called Crowbar.

Really a crow bar?

Oh my god, you're kidding, Brian.

I'm going to kill you.

There was a place in my town called two Ravens and it closed so you could, Oh.

We could, we could know the difference between a raven and a crow.

No, but I bet you do. And I was just about to ask, because we talked about this on the podcast, and I think we looked it up once, but we want to know again.

Well, it's really difficult to tell them apart in my opinion, because I've been in parks and I've been like, oh, that's a crazy a raven. I messed it up like.

That crass craven that was Wes craven.

That starts.

Start directing.

Basically, if you want to tell them the different in the in the wild, if they're different, ravens are just bigger. That's that's how you tell. If it's a really big giant crow, that's probably a raven. You can also look at their like beaks a little curvier. But the way I tell them apart is that if you see a gigantic crow, it's most likely a raven. If you see a.

Crow to like compare it to though.

Well, you have to bring a crow with you wherever you go. For this to work.

What will get you one? So you can tell what That's the only reason I want one.

Compare them, But why are you off crows?

Well, because if you do research them, they are really hard to take care of. Yeah, they they are very Did you just think it was going to it on your shoulder? You could see it like peanuts or whatever, and then it would just ship outside or something to get mad at you if you aren't giving him enough attention. And they you already live with.

That's why when my mom and I were watching I think I told this on the podcast, but you made me laugh so hard. When we were watching that like Tom Hanks movie that we tried to start My name is Auto or saw a man named Otto. We started it and.

It was like this just about this guy that's just like at a grocery store, like complaining about stuff.

And ROM was like, I live with this.

I don't need to watch it.

Oh my god.

It was just like a guy dad's age, being kind of like about like a nail.

I must have been a bad day for your day, bad day.

Yeah, yeah, no, it was just it was cute. It was funny. You were trying to be funny. I met people who made a man called OUTO this weekend yesterday.

Or yeah, I'm going to give it another chance, and no, we we just didn't want to because I can't.

I kind of can't with Tom Hanks anymore. And I know that's crazy, but like I could if it was the right role. Wait, so you how did you meet the people from Man from Autoco?

I was at a going away party for a friend and it was just like a bunch of Hollywood types. I didn't it was. It was crazy because.

I went to this to them and say comedy or drama?

Did you do you want me to talk to you or would you like me to leave? That's yeah, that's Brian's intro.

He's on the picket lines for w GAHO Strike.

Yeah.

Are you still doing that?

Brian? Just yeah, No, I went picketed. There was a G Word Adam Ruins Everything reunion at Netflix yesterday. It was actually right before. I'm so proud of myself for getting back to record the podcast in time because I was cutting close.

Wow, good for you for going Okay, so you went to this party and these guys.

There was a going away party for my friend who's going to the UK, and he's a little older than me, and I went to this party with Ali, thank god, because I did not know a soul at this party. Have you ever gone to a party and you're like, I do not know a single person here. I do not know what I'm doing here. I just want to hear. Then I just wanted to say goodbye to my friend.

Who is Oh, so you knew one soul.

I knew the person throwing the party, but.

Everything he's busy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I could talk to him for like five minutes, and then every single other person is.

Wise or four.

Yes, there you go.

Good job, Brian.

You know, I think I have been to I have done that before. I have been to yeah things, and I kind of wear it as a badge of honor of like, I don't know, like you're you just go up and talk to people. I know that seems like so impossible, but you just kind of you have a your story is I know no one here, and so now you have an end to talk to people to be like, I literally know no one here. Hi, I'm bron you know what I mean. Like that's your angle.

That's if everybody was normal. But this was a Hollywood party and everyone was so Hollywood. I mean there was so much more like successful than me, and like they did not give a fuck about anything I had to say at any point. Yeah, so I would talk to people about you know, there are things and there were nice people there. I mean this is my friends, all their friends. But like, yeah, you can tell when you're like, wait, no one's asked me or Ali a single question this

The entire part.

That's like going on dates with I think men and women do it to each other, but like, I feel you must have experienced that during your year of dating or whatever it was, where like some people just don't lob the question back or have any interest in you whatsoever. My parents and I we I used to have a good friend who would never ask me about myself.

Do you remember.

She's whispering it off camera if you're not on YouTube, she's whispering.

Well, she'll remember. I had a friend back in the day that I would hang out with like all the time. And I started to say to my parents, like, and my parents really do have an issue with someone not like celebrating my accolades as my dad's.

Especially your father. Yeah he does not.

I have a story about that too, but like he yeah, he just they can't stand when like I've done something cool, or the family's done something cool, or like my mom has like built a fireplace with like done stone work, and they'll walk in and they won't say anything about it, even though they know it's brand new. Like they withhold like compliments because they're fucking jealous. Like that kind of person. We have a lot of those people in our family in our life. Like it's just and and I could

But I I.

Was so annoyed because he was doing it too hard. So it was like mad, probably, yeah, your guitar, I like, get off of it. But we said it was so hard to say nothing.

When you put it down. It was just a silent green room.

It was so good because you know, all he was doing was trying to get us to go like holy shit, man, And in my head I was thinking that, but.

He's so cool and so all the time at like guitar center or any kind of music shop you go do, there's so many of those people there ate it.

But when it's someone's guitar, like Anya's guitar, were threes even worse worse. We're the enneagram for this kind of person is a three. And I'm that kind of person too, But I play it a little bit cooler. I'm desperate for approval and compliments, and I will. But I I did the thing of like certain for my looks and my like outfits and stuff. I told my friends and like two thousand, it was probably twenty eighteen or nineteen to not compliment my looks anymore.

Oh yeah, ever, I remember you even said that to me.

And even though I want it desperately and I depend on it, now I've safeguarded myself that I think every time they want to and they just can't. So now if they don't do it, it's because they want to, and they they I told them not to, and if they but if they genuinely.

Don't even think my ouf, it's cute. I've now convinced.

Now I'm safe in my head right and if they want to, they can, so it safeguards me. But I'm totally like that person. I just have a little bit more self awareness to not look so desperate. But I have been desperate before. But we were talking about oh people coming in.

Oh.

So, I had this friend that was never giving me, never asking me about me or any like any interest in anything.

Let's like leave compliments out of it. Who gives a shit?

And one time my family, I was like, I'm gonna invite him over. It's like kind of the final straw with him. I'm out of this relationship. Yeah, do you remember who this was? I think so, And we invited him over and we just we played a game where it was like, let's see how long he can be here without saying without in our kitchen, in our house, and not comment one thing or ask one inquisitive, curious question about anything to do with anything outside of himself.

Yes, Yes, the record, on the on the on the party, I do want to say that the producer, whoever it was for, a man called Otto. I talked to them for her for a long time and she was the only one that asked me questions. So for the record, that's nice as everyone I was good. I don't want that, yeah, because that was the only thing I named.

R Wes Anderson and Tom Hanks is in it, and I gotta say, even though I didn't love the thing, I enjoy it.

What did your What did you say about the film?

It made me laugh.

It's like your it's your most it's your most cutting the criticism ever.

And I've already said that on the podcast about something else.

But it's so funny to say this about something, and I want everyone to start using it when it's appropriate.

I love Wes Anderson. Yeah, I loved Argiling Limited. I love the Royal Tande Moms with all my heart. I think they're genius, and I do love a couple others. But I will say in the past few years it has seemed like he is more and more concerned with aesthetics, and I just don't get a vibe that, uh, he's like in touch with his sexuality. I'm not saying I'm not not accusing him of being.

He's not having sex. He's not having sex.

Funny to me because we all know art where we're like, this person's not getting laid like something. They're they're a little frustrated, they're too cute. See, they're like they're not in their sexuality. Yes, yes, it's like a little kid.

It's a movie for child, for children, but it's for adult.

I was listening to and he was like, these people sound like they've never had sex.

I really is ever like you hear a band, and you're like, oh, fuck yeah, like these drums.

This guy's fuck my god, these guys fucking all the time.

But Tom Hanks's hair is so beautiful in this film.

I don't know if his real.

Hair it looks like it it's white and silvery or it's an amazing wig.

But he looks so dapper.

And I will say, Wes Anderson, like, the aesthetics of this movie are so beautiful. It's called Asteroid City. Everyone's skin is like this cool, weird orangey tan. Everyone's lipstick is this beautiful red orange red. It's amazing. Everything's like pastel blue and yellow and pink and scarlet. Your hands and is great. Okay, Tom Hanks looks great.

Don't worry.

Wes Anderson's not watching this. He's not gonna take a sense. He knows he's cutesy.

Film.

Film directors understand that there's going to be criticism about what they do. Every creator does you know, like this is going to exist. It's okay to have a criticism. I watched last night, so no Anya's favorite director is no a Bombak okay, Bomba I've back or.

Whatever, I've never I will say anything is funny.

It is.

I've never watched any of the and have you watched his films?

Brian, he went to college with one of my ex girlfriends. So I am, I'm all in the bomback verse?

Yeah, well is it back or back? I want to just get it right.

Sounds like a tool.

Okay, we'll say bomb back, bomb back Okay, so no, no a bomb back back.

I watched Francis HA was my first.

Francis made me weep tears, weep, yes.

Wept, yea, I weeped and weep.

I weed over the box. I couldn't stop crying after watching.

Why Why Oh?

It just struck me. The parents at the end, watching her go and then her finding herself, and it just reminded me of.

Me, reminded me of girls.

And if you loves I feel like if we loved your parents.

And you know those are real parents, Gretager, real parents. Yeah, there was some scenes.

What is this?

It's a it's a film.

It's a film about a girl in New York City who was like trying to find herself. It's called Francis ha H Francis f R A n c E S HA and it I find I've only watched two of his own, and so I watched that one, and then I watched Greenberg and she's also I love Greta Gerwig.

I will watch anything.

I just love the way she talks and it's kind of like this and just really like she almost draws out her words like tea, and it's like, I just love her face and her look, and she's not super skinny, which I appreciate about, like any so tired of seeing like exic actresses and like people who are just like stunningly like you know, filled up and all this stuff,

And there's a new video that she's.

Like, I think it's one of my best videos ever that I did on Jayla and to show what perfect choice is that Jayla has made on her face.

She talks exactly like that and and I can't even watch it because I want to get it all done because Jaylaw does look amazing. It doesn't look like she has worked one. Yeah, and there's no shame in it.

Yeah, but if you saw Ledge Ones, she's so But I can't wait to see her new film anyway, Francis ha I, uh whatever.

I liked it.

It's all in black and white. It makes a little hard to watch, but I'm like, was like fucking three stooges. I love that. Yeah, it's cool, but it's kind of caa, like, we we get.

It, you're cho why was it? That's the thing.

That's that's what I want to know.

Why I get it in Roger Rabbit Okay.

Yeah, because it's like there's like a world that yeah, or.

In the what's the Wizard of the Wizard of Oz that makes sense?

Or when they could didn't have color film yet, like any movie that's fit into that genre. Yeah, the SmartLess Stock, Yeah, the SmartLess Stock is also in black and white, and I like it. By the way, whenever you take a picture of yourself and you put it into black and white, you look prettier. Yeah, I love so it is there's a reason.

Because he is watching black and white movies, been like this is so cool. Why is there no color?

They were think that's so funny.

So anyway, I watched Greenberg and Brian, you are Greenberg.

I haven't seen Greenberg.

So many times you I want you to watch it.

It's good, it's been still plays this guy who's like got out of a mental institution. That is, no, that's not why you're Greenberg. You gotta have a mental institutione. He's staying at his brother's house while they're on vacation. His brother's a big time Hollywood successful guy. His whole family's out of town, so they he's staying. You just gotta have a mental hospital. So he's staying at his brother's house to take care of their dog and just

And he's like.

Forty forty nine I think is or he's like mid forties, and she's like twenty three, which is problematic for me, not problematic in the sense that you know is think gets to be canceled.

But I'm just like, is it true? Is she that age in the movie?

Yes?

But in real life well, and when she shot the movie.

This is a long time ago. This is like twenty ten movie came out. I don't think twelve maybe.

But it's the kind of guy all of us know who is reminiscing about his past in a band. He was signed for like eight months and he cannot stop talking about these eight months of his life where he was signed.

No, he that's not true. Sorry, yeah, he couldn't.

He's the one that gave up on the band, right, So he's like in the.

Past and he cannot get past his his days of like I had this deal.

But if you know, yeah, he's one of the people that are like these kids are saying cap now and it's like, yeah, well you're old, that's why like it, move on and so but Brian, I think you should watch it because he really reminded me of you and that his like how he's a really good person, but he can be very blunt and like have strong opinions that can sometimes be uh like, people can take as like this guy is maybe rude, or something, not that I've ever thought you were rude, but like you.

Know, Brian, no, why anything bad.

I'm trying. I know, I like this because I'm trying to figure that out, especially like on stage, you know, I want to make sure that I'm being my authentic self.

You know what can help.

I haven't seen you on stage ever, No, no, no, definitely not.

You're so good.

Like I would and this is just me not having seen you for literally almost eight years now. But like anything that might be off putting to the audience about you and your intensity can be offset by you, like smiling a little bit or laughing at what you're talking about and not trying to stay in the frame of mind when you wrote it, and having more of a like. I just think any comedian can benefit from smiling more

Yes, it's not a trick.

It's just like in my head, I'm trying to recreate as angry as I was when I wrote this joke. So that it's you know, perfectly exemplified, but like they need to be let in on the fact that I know I'm kidding a little bit and then I'm having fun, right, And smiling can be overused, but I think that, I mean, I learned her watching Taylor Swift.

I'm not even gonna lie.

My performance on Saturday Night was amazing because I just watched her on Friday Night and just like her interactions with the crowd, her being so grateful that they're there, her just like enjoying every moment, and it just you know, it's it's really good for me to see all these fucking contracts. I'm going to see Ben Folds tonight.

Actually, wait, can I ask a question about the Brian thing?

Rely quick? So when he when he.

Has a joke that he thinks might be off putting or ostracizes the audience, you're saying, smile a little bit, right, because that gives the audience a clue that he's in on this.

He's not a freak.

Yeah, I don't think it's like a hundred and I don't even think that's his issue.

But what if he doesn't know which joke to smile on, Like what if He's like, miss, are you.

Making all go out there and be a little bit cheerier in general for every kind of performer unless it's like.

Really your bag to be like, Okay, let's see.

I mean jessel Nick smiles at his jokes, and his jokes are because he's so he just has like a little yes, he has a little sociopathic smile.

Yeah, let's hear an example.

About what like a like a piece of your act that you ask you did.

I would never do this. I don't go out I.

Don't go out there and throlling with it.

I find that if I do, if i'm if I'm smiling more, I'm just having more fun and then that makes the set better.

Yes, and I do too.

A lot of my stuff on stage is talking about how I'm like a curmudgeon and kind of like I have like an old man vibe to me, and so it does go along with you know, uh, not smiling. But and then that's what I was saying about just kidding. Remember last week, Yes, I said I had to learn how to say just kidding because so many times I would say something that was a joke and be like and people would be like, what are you talking about and then so I learned to go joke, joke, joke,

I've recently said when people get offended or go like, WHOA, that's too much, I go. I've said, let me just backtrack and say I've done nothing wrong here, and what I've said. All I've said is that Anthony I made a reference to Anthony Bourdain committing suicide in a hotel.

He did that. I didn't do it to him. I'm not making fun of it. I'm literally, oh, did you guys just find out?

I like, talk them through it.

I go, your offense is not warranted, Like I understand if I'm like in that fucking idiot hung himself in that place.

I'm not saying that.

I'm not saying, oh, his daughter's said, isn't that hilarious?

You lost her dad.

I'm just stating that he did it, so I'm not then you should get mad at Tom broke Off, who broke the news to you too, then, because I'm doing nothing different than that. I'm just referencing it, and yes it is a punchline, but it's not making fun of him, you gotta know, Thedemirance. I think that instead of saying just canning yell at them about why you're.

Right, We'll be right back with moresout.

What are you? What are you looking at? I'm just thinking.

I'm just thinking. You know, you were talking about how people were like, oh god, how dare you people? Why don't you find this in your audience? I mean that people are looking to find something off like that, to say.

Oh, because they have no identity because they're white and we don't have a lot of culture, and so people need to identify themselves by what they're offended by.

Means that I'm something like what was that? Why would they pay money?

Because they take away friend likes me or their son or they're like it's always the person that doesn't is brought along. And Rob Thomas and I were talking about the person who gets brought along and is just sitting there like a grump the whole time because they're like jealous of their partner and and yeah, it's true, like I I identify as a swifty because I'm white.

I have nothing else.

I don't have like a culture to be like, wow, this is who I am, Like I'm boring, I'm a basic bitch, and so I grasp onto this identity because I want to feel different. I want to feel unique, and my obsession with her makes me feel that way, and a lot of people don't have that.

I would suggest help one to get into Taylor Swift. I want to help the whites. For a second, you are, but yeah, I feel like there's a way we can figure because because I think sometimes white people feel like they have no culture at all, and I think sometimes they're overlooking or they're discounting the culture that they have. Like if you're if you're gen.

You're houd to have culture, though, why not like because people are just like it's fucking white people ship Like it's like I.

Don't think we should culture and that's.

Why people latch onto that or they like wear like this is all dumb ship. It's not like can take cloths and like things that actually have meaning and like you know, head.

Wrap or yeah or what do you think that? It's like, oh, I don't get that. Where you go to another state, why do they talk.

If I'm around Kirston, I start talking like Kirston if I'm because.

You know, I want to know where this lazy talk comes.

Because it's just a different way laugh man, you know, and it's hot and it's cool.

Yeah that I literally get a little tired. I love it.

Why does anyone have any different dialect? It's because it's just you know, it's.

It just seems sloppy to me. It is Kirston talks. What does she do well?

Like, if I'm around Kerson, I'll be like doing Kirsten things like I don't know, I don't know how to describe it, but I'll be.

Like, do you think it's cool if we like run into.

This my impression of Kirsten, But like I will, I will start impersonating Kirsten. My whole act is just all of my funniest people together, my personal person on stage.

When I do something that's like and.

That's a little bit Chris Convey, Lizzie Cooperman, there's I do you where it's like I'm not doing that and you know, like any kind of thing because I'm I'm a person that has cut out magazines and made a collage and that's.

I have a chameleon.

Yes, I yah that's right. That's what artists do.

They absorb things around that. And there's some artists, and there's some things I do that are completely unique and and and me. But I would say I paint with things. I pick up things from other people that I go, that's really funny.

I'm gonna use that.

And I usually I don't think that I'm gonna use it, but my subconscious mind does.

But well, you think it's funny, so you catch it, yeah.

Or I'll just like yeah, I'm trying to think of an example, but yeah. Chris always used to be.

Like and then that, and.

Like he would do and he would kind of say things like that, and I'm like, I'm not gonna do that ever, and I was like, that's a really funny way to say that, And so I just started doing it because it was funny, and then it made it in my act and now it's like a way, now it seems like something I created, but I did it.

I just you created it and he picked it up.

It was it was always God Christ, I get a break here.

I think you start. You've been doing that for a long time.

Really, yes, no, I can. I'm almost positive I got it from him.

Sure.

Yeah.

I really remember hearing him do that and then catching myself doing it.

Anyway, that's very Chris No. I saw when I saw a comedian smile, and then I said, I think I should start smiling.

Yeah before Brian. Brian's going to be like grinning, like, oh God, please deal with cards that looks like a crand emoji cards.

No, I mean, Brian, didn't you impersonate a comedian when you first started?

Oh my god, who did you? There was a time when I called myself frantic FRANNGI not literally in my head. I was like I'm frantic because I would go on stage and I would be like, you know, kind of like a Richard Lewis style, what's going on everything? So why am I? Oh? And then I got this going on and then and there was just yelling and so out of.

Control under your hat. Like I used to hear about Richard Lewis.

The one anecdote I heard about him was that he waits in a limo outside the door to the green room, like outside the door to the theater, and they're like they're ready for you, and he walks straight on stage and then straight back into his limo.

He spends no time in the building.

He just goes.

And I remember using.

To think, like that's insane, Like how doesn't he have to prepare? And like what how does he know what he's gonna say? Like he just goes, And now I'm like, that would be he's preparing. That's my ideal, Yeah, is to not prepare at all, have no chance to know. You're just in a limo on your phone or something. Oh yeah, I would think. Okay, So Richard Lewis you impersonated who else?

Ever? There was the waiting Mullaney. I mean I impersonated mulaney a little bit, I guess as it. I mean, there was all There was the era of the baby Bird. I definitely, yeah. It was a little you know, there was this period of time between twenty twelve to twenty sixteen or something twenty now, Yeah, where every male comedian, every white male comedian in New York City was like trying to do a little Bill Burr impression called.

The baby up in the Baby Hedburg phase of like so many guys just like talking like this into a microphone and just going like like doing one liners and looking down and dying of heroin overdose.

But and Norm McDonald doing the you know, the leaning into your punchline stuff.

Oh my god, Norm McDonald.

I saw a clip yesterday and I was like, Jesus Christ, this guy is so fucking good because he took a he took a trope that I'm just like, what are you going to get out of this? Like you know they say, you know what happens in Vegas States. Oh my god, is so good because that is such a tiring what thing?

Like the punchline is like.

You know what they don't mean, like you know, if you get what he said? He gets some example like they don't mean like if you get you know, a disease there, it's you're not gonna have it when you get home. What that What that phrase means. What they're saying is that you can fuck up prostitute.

And she's not gonna tell your.

Wife, not like these jabberin prostitutes, these small town ors who are just blab.

It all over you know, oh Diane. What Then he gets an example of like two women in like getting their hair.

Done and she's like, I fucked your husband last week, and it's like that It's so funny because that is what that phrase is about it's about like these prostitutes won't tell what it's so funny, and it gave me so much hope because it seems like a subject matter that is just you could never find anything funny in that phrase because it's so well trodden and like so boring and like so could to say even like even making fun of the fact that it's is kind of cook because it's just overdone.

And that just gave me.

I love jokes like that that give me hope about really no subject as hacked.

I used to have anxiety about that, like, isn't aren't we going to run out of stuff to joke about? Aren't there's so many comedians, so many specials. Isn't there going to be like we've covered all the topics now, but really it's it's infinite because you can everybody can have a different perspective on infinite topics and so it never runs out.

Yeah, you could even there.

I always think about if Norman Donald were still alive, all the jokes that would exist right now that don't because of him, all the uncovered, all the artifacts that are out there to be found, Like there is a world of hilarity that what and Greg Giraldo if he was around like all the Trump stuff, he would have toald like Joan Rivers, like, think of.

All those jokes are George Carter.

Those people were the only ones looking for them. They were the James Cameron for those Titanics. You know, they and no one else's can go down there without imploding. So if those just never gonna be seen.

Would you?

Dad would probably go down in that submarine, don't you think? No, he wouldn't. Actually, he's scared.

Of depths and he's kind of I would have never done that. Yeah, you would do that, Chris.

I'm a mom.

Chris would do it.

Now if they had an extra submarine made of the same things, he'd be like, it's a once in a lifetime. I'm like, yeah, that lifetime's over. He would do it. My boyfriend does not have the chip in his brain that says dangerous.

And I'm worried you've got call.

I'm made of first word it was, I just don't. It's so weird to love someone so much who you relate. As soon as I realized he wasn't born like almost like without born with like an arm where I'm.

Like, how can you not pick that up with your right hand. He's like, I don't have an arm.

So when I go, how could you ever want to climb Mount Everest when you know that one out of or K two, one out of six people die.

And he's like, because I just does want to do He's not scared of death. Does he want to do that? Yes? He wants to do it all he wants.

He'll go on any rollercoaster, He'll go on any bungeee thing, He'll go on any crazy expedition.

I couldn't relate to this less.

He told me that story about how he was in Abu Dhabi and he wrote those uh RVs or whatever and he flipped his over did you hear we were no?

Yeah, I'm sure he almost died enough.

He was like, I flipped over my RV Eddy. Yeah.

He had an Abu Jabbi and an Abu Dabby and he was there for like nine months and he could I know. Whenever we drive past four Runners, he's like, that looks fun. And I'm like, when I want to be single, I'll send you out on one of those.

I can't wait.

Yeah, just you gotta see that documentary with Chris Free solo.

But that's what I'm gonna want to be. After he watches that and he's like, this looks cool.

I'm gonna go.

You know what, I'm free and solo. Right now, we're done because I can't he ask.

That guy's brain and he is missing. He's it has to bear center.

There's no way that Chris could like, my I just realized there's something missing or I have something missing.

Does he climb at all? Does he scramble on the rocks?

No? But he would no he Oh, when we were in Tel Aviv, he was on these rocks, jumping around like and then it's there was a sign, thank God in English had said stay off the rocks, and I was like, you heed that sign because.

He's a man of the law.

But he given some rocks, he will he will start running all over them. He's got weak ankles. He knows that he's got to come with me on some scrambles. He would go with you on any of those things. And uh, yeah, he loves adventure.

And what's a scramble?

You can spelunk.

Scrambling is like rock climbing without any equipment, where it's not you're not doing a sheer cliff. You're just like kind of having to go on your hands and knees to get up on rocks to climb a mountain, not a mountain, but like a pile of rocks bouldering.

Is it the same as bender?

You know?

While you guys do that, I'll riyah again and just get my get my profile ready, because yet he's gonna die. He's an older, he's aging his body. Isn't like, do not put him in these situations?

Mom?

You Matt Green?

Are I know my brother in Lake give him goes on these things for fourteen ers where there's like fourteen of these mountains that are above this amount, you know, Brian, And he's done.

Like eight of the fourteen's.

Yeah, I say, did you get your life insurance meant before you leave?

Yeah? Aren't that dangerous?

Some of them are? We've seen. I've seen plenty of that.

We've seen some like go pro footage from the top and they're all like, okay, yeah, single mother.

Cut up, do not die? Every time he leaves.

The fourteen er is just that he can't afford him. You can climb that's over fourteen thousand feet above sea levels and.

Not lift these I cannot let my children.

Mom have to die because she cannot.

You can't.

About him. Some times you don't have to climb it all when you're doing a fourteen or it's just a hike, a really strenuous uphill hike that goes up to fourteen thousand feet.

Oh my god, No, it's it's hopping from this big.

Crevass.

Crevass and what's the other guard that's gold Jesus, no canyon sting uses. Yeah, it's in his song. Oh really, Fields of Barley.

No, forget it, I'll get back. I'll be watching it next time you this word down anyway. Uh No, there's some big wide jumps.

Oh right. It depends on what mountain, depends on what trail you take. Sometimes it doesn't have to be that dangerous, Like if you want to climb like Mount Whitney or something, you don't necessarily have to put yourself in danger.

To do well.

I believe you. But I bet whoever he's with his brothers doing all of them, Brian, so some of them.

Some of them must be dangerous. If he's doing it's like.

Julie, Well, let's picture Matt like jumping over a wide gulch.

Yeah, what about you get it. Do you get a little chasms? Okay, good job. Do you feel anything in your vagina when you imagine? Who said that?

I almost said it, but I wanted to know I do, Like you know that sense you get when you are like up and like high or on something, or like if someone if you if you see something disgusting, Like do you get like a sense in your off when you get off high?

When you get too high up?

No? Are you you know sense like like if some if you see something like someone almost like slice their arm on something, or like you hear about a splinter, and like, do you get a little, like a little ting in China in your vagina?

I haven't thought about that. I get it in like my stomach and my like more in my stomach.

Yeah, I too.

I always had it in my stomach and then five years ago it went three inches down and air. Okay, it's just like I'm going to pay attention, to pay attention, but I hate that I can't even think about something bad happening. My sister follows this Instagram account called like Something. You guys will know it. But it's like kids falling or something, and it's oh, kids bailing and she's like, this is.

Hysterical to me.

No, I can't watch it.

It's like they don't get hurt, but they're always falling. Final thought, these videos where people say, so, did no one got hurt?

Did you check check up on? Because this is bullshit.

I see people break bones all the time that you cannot see, and I don't want to see.

I hate people falling.

Some videos they not get hurt or they did not die, because it's like, just because someone's not dead doesn't mean they're not grievously interested suffering.

Even though I did watch the shark attack in Egypt without I found it unblurred, and I saw this guy.

It looks like a scene in Jaws. I mean, it's insane. I recommend watching it.

It's not too bad, but I recommend watching because if you have any interest. I'm someone who doesn't like Gore. I don't like really frightening things. I will not watch like Faces of Death. I've never seen any like really, you know, I don't watch scary movies. But this is so far away, and the girl filming it it's almost annoying because she just keeps going.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Yeah, he definitely got killed. This not too long ago. Yeah, this was like a couple of weeks ago. Definitely like.

Sharks, Well, you.

Shouldn't be because this is so rare.

It's the same as bees.

No, honestly, well, there are going to be shark attack people. Sharks will kill people, but the odds of it are insane, and they don't really want to eat you. But this, this kid got and it's someone's I only watched it because I wanted to hear him scream dad, because that's.

What that's I don't know why I wanted to hear it. But you can't hear it.

You can't guess what.

You gotta go, Papa. I'm just kidding. No, you couldn't hear it at all, Papa. Please, No, it was so bad. It's so sad. Recommend watching it. You were this guy too, just thrashing about you got a lot on your plate.

No, I mean it looks like out of the movies, like if you watch Jaws, you know, like where they get hit and then they're just kind of like flailing around there and then he's crying. I'm sorry, I'll stop survivor. Yea, Honestly, this is the risk you take why I don't go with the ocean. This is why I don't.

He's far out to I would never be far out of the fittest.

Mean in this context, do not go out that you should have been doing more forty five classes.

This kid was Egypt and it was a surfer.

No, it was just a swimmer.

He was way out, you know what I'm saying, Like not that the sharks can't get you inside.

He's taking a chance going out that far.

But sorry, I said to recommend watching it. I'm not celebrating this at all. It freaked me out.

It made me so sad. I'm so fucking sad for this kid. He did not deserve that.

Almost have to talk about it now to cleanse the trauma of seeing it.

That double down.

It wasn't that traumatic for me for whatever reason. I can watch that, but I could never watch the movie Midsummer, which I've read a description to that and it sounds horrific.

Movie.

Wait, you did It's that like scandinaving film?

Yeah?

Yeah, I really liked it with Okay, so will you tell me? But I didn't know anyone who'd seen it. Okay, it's fucked up, right, Everyone who says. It says, it keeps getting You think it's gonna get better, like all the gore is done, and it keeps things keep getting worse.

It's crazy, Yes, it gets worse. I actually saw that movie. It was like a midnight show in an empty theater. Avey and I went, it was so fun You guys are so the same, I know. And I thought it was like cinematically was like a really really great movie, especially when they're high, like they take mushrooms on this like campsite, and the way they present them that was awesome. It yes, yes, exactly, and I was completely sober. And there's this one part. Yeah, well there's this one part

It's great.

I don't know, I think it would really talking about like wait, like talk about fucking on camera like this.

I've only seen I haven't seen the Idol. Have you guys seen the Idol yet?

On HBO?

No, I will watch it because of I don't the the stories around it.

I saw like one little clip that maybe you sent me.

I'm like, yeah, I said you that it was so funny. It's like when the trainer is looking at the girl's body and he's like touching her too much in the weekend, who's the girl's boyfriend is like, get.

Off my woman right now. I was like, but my parents are doctors, and he goes, if my friend was a gn of coologist, you think I could put my finger up any girl I wanted.

It was just like soca.

And then he's like and then he fires the trainer, and the trainer's like, I only take direction from my boss.

And then the girl's like, I'm sorry, it's just not gonna work out.

Like it's just so, it's so bad. Sorry, I can't watch Lily Rose depth. And then Chris was like, oh, I've been watching this It's so pornographic, and he starts pulling up all the sex scenes from it. It is is this list makes me so Yes, this makes me so mad. I'm leaning forward because I have a point to make. Everyone who's in the porn industry gets ostracized

Dot com.

Okay, learned a new one, thank you, or you know, blackdraw dot com, and it's all it's the same. It is exactly cinematically the same.

Yeah, maybe you don't see exact insertion and you don't see but there's nothing different about it. There's nothing different. Yet she will be lauded for this and be able to go to every red carpet, she'll get to go to the met Gala, and why is it? And you know why she should be able to and so should porn stars. It's a fucking art. You should not And Christmas, like,

Hell, yes, sign me up. I've always wanted to do this, so we should not.

The lines between porn and cinema are indistinguishable now based on what I've seen from the IDOL.

It's not fair if we are scorning porn stars for what they do and.

Making them kill themselves because they can't get a fucking job after the age out of porn because they've done porn before.

And they can't go DJ.

In Dayton, Ohio, at a Bert Kreiser show which happened to Carter Cruz, who was a porractress and is now retired and she's a DJ, they googled his lineup last summer, saw that Carter Cruz was on it, saw that she had done porn before, and because of the endowment of this stupid center in Dayton, this theater that they were performing, she was not allowed to perform because before no, it wasn't Burt saying no, but it was the endowment for it. Yeah, I mean Bert brought her on tour and as a DJ.

Does this make sense? Like why do we go that's art and then porn is not art?

Fuck this show. I fucking hate the Idol. I think the Weekend is a bad person. I think that this show is exploitative. I think that I don't need to see Lily Rose Dep's tits this much as much as I'm like, go girl, do it, and I would probably do it too. I think it's gratuitous. I think it's like a man like kind of put her up to it. And I would love to say no, she chose to do this, but I don't think she wrote it, and I don't think a woman wrote this but I didn't really check.

It just feels she did to me.

And I don't want to see a girl who looks like a as she has a childbody being fucked.

How about that this girl looks like she's twelve years old. She looks like she's twelve, and they fucking.

Know that she does.

And that's why they cast her.

Because people want to see children have sex because everyone's gross.

That's what's final rank in the day. Is it the same director as you four?

Yeah, because he likes to see young girls. Yeah, he penetrate that. That was my issue with Euphoria.

At first, I really really liked it, and then I was like, oh, these scenes are really egregious, like and kind of like giving me a vibe that a man has written this. I thought it was written by women and then and then I found that out. And that's my issue with the idol is that it just like exploits women.

It's a girl who looks prepubescent, and I know that they casted it for that reason. She does not have there's no no offense to her body. She has a beautiful body, but they chose her. I believe she's a great actress too. When you're watching it, you feel like you're watching see me. She's very not wafy and they know what they're doing.

Yes, Daisy Jones and the Six versus the Idol? Which one? Would you rather watch? The Idol?

Because it's because at least it knows what it is, I think more than Daisy Jones and the Six, who is trying to be something it's not. But like, this is no shade to Lily Rose dep I believe she said she had a good time on the film, and I'm sure she didn't have a gun to her head, and like her whole life and career were threatened for her to put out that statement because of the rumors

I'm that good point. Thank you, really, it really is. I mean I would never think it's you. You're just like, thank you for having me.

Even when as the producer of a reality show, I empowered the girls that we've chose to say, you are in the position of power. You cannot be replaced. We've already shot three episodes with you. We can't reshoot that. If you want to walk off set because you don't like something that's going on, you fucking put your foot down because you're in the driver's seat.

Now.

We were before when we cast you, but now you have the power. We're replaceable, you're not. And that's what I think these actresses need to be empowered to do. But I doubt that they feel that way. And and you know, it's it's complicated. But yeah, maybe people who have watched the Idol can enlighten me. Maybe I need to watch more of it and I'll like totally change my tune.

But I just don't.

I like the Weekends music, but I don't like I don't like his little demeanor.

I don't like it. And I just a halftime show. I hated the super Bowl halftime show really, with all the mirrors. It was too much effects and not enough music. It was just like I felt like he was trying to hypnotize me. Oh a magic trick.

Yeah, I don't mind his music, and maybe I can separate what a bad person he is from his music, Like with some people, I can do that. Like, I don't care about Michael Jackson. I can still enjoy even though I know he's licked little boys assholes.

It doesn't These are facts.

Again, I'm just Tom broke off you guys. I'm reporting the facts.

This is what he did.

Really fact.

Did you not watch the Finding or yes? Yes, I'm sorry to get so into it brain. Yeah, well go watch that shark attack.

Put it back.

Sorry, this episode fucking sucks. Also, a little child yelled while Michael was doing that.

No, I had to do it.

You know what?

Fuck it because you know what, every other podcast is going to these places, all these friends and Tim Dillon, they all get to like work in whatever they want, Tom Sigura, but for some reason we don't. We're going there, folks.

And why you're not. We're apologizing for it. That's why we can't apologize for it.

We can't have this is fucked up and make a new bingo card.

Picky Pod means because we're going off the rail. This is no more like just inner empowerment bullshit talk. We are making fun of grim disasters and trauma. Okay, anyway, I hope you guys have a great week. Well, I think we have a show tomorrow.

Yeah, this is We're taping this a week in advance, so I'm kind of all over the place on the schedule. But we'll see you tomorrow on the show. Mom, thank you for being here, and have a good day, and jump be Ca and just fuck it, say what do you want?

Yeah, and just Apollo days later, and please don't cancel me, but also do because I'm tired.