#349 Systems Are Screwed, Sexy Lingerie, Traveling with Friends & Slaughtering of Souls!

There's a bunch of good pizza role sketches. There's one on SNL where Bill Hayter hits the pizza and uh, that's just a pizza one.

But he hits the pizza.

Just eat it. It's pizza, it's normal.

Okay, let's go, let's.

Go, let's go.

I think Chris is Mike needs to be a little bit or no, mine's turned up because I'm trying to be quieter turned up. I just hear him. I feel like I hear the room more than I hear Chris.

Okay, this is Chris. This is Chris. I am talking. Okay, that sounds great. You're a little bit of a oh yeah, that might be the buzz from the light. But I do take that out. I can. I can eliminate it. All right, Well, okay, all right.

Let's all just clap for that camera and three two one? Okay?

Is it?

That's not supposed to sync up at all, is it?

I don't know how they do it. Yeah, I don't know what the purpose because when I'm doing audio, I don't It would not help me because we don't do it at the same time. But it works for Kelly.

All right, Kelly, go get them Kelly.

Kel I'm gonna guess for Kelly. It's a visual queue to erase everything before that.

It's because it's like a wave. Oh yeah, and the studio cameras to line everything up with the three cameras. Okay, it checks out.

Before the show so everyone can hear our pre show discussion.

Oh yeah.

We accidentally left in some pre show talk the other day and people, I we I mean it was a joint effort. We were pre show talking. So we'll leave in the talk about Kelly, but nothing before that.

Don't worry.

Okay, nervous, Welcome to Kelly Chat.

Okay.

In three to one, here's Anya.

The Nicky Glaiser podcast.

Glaser, Here's Nikki.

Hello. Here I am.

It's a Nicky Glazer podcast. Welcome to the show. I'm Nicki Glazer. I'm here in studio with my boyfriend.

I love a Nope.

Is that not what we do? Love each other?

Yeah, we do. That's what I mean by okay, Yeah.

Yeah, Okay. His name is Chris Conny. You can hear him on The Courtney Show podcast and on the Courtney Show every day from six to ten in Saint Louis, Missouri. We're on the arch app wherever you get your.

Apps, don't go that's how I need to do that. Yeah, I listen on the arch app.

There are a few besties. Bestie Dan, oh really, he text it's great sweet see people.

It's my favorite show to listen to, so I understand why people would love it.

And then we have Anya Marina, who is in New York.

You can download be Anya up and listen.

To on live is in Arizona.

Did you just say you just told yourself that you sound sexy?

Yeah, I'm talking to myself. No, because Nick is doing a whole vibe this morning.

Okay, I just went to a voice lesson and he told me that I need to stop talking like a Saint Louis and who's like always up here with NAIs on Like it's really bad. Oh, my voice is in hell right now. It's in distress. I have to cancel all of my plans and the only thing I can do, the only time I get to talk is right now today.

How do you know when your voice is better?

Brian's not here, by the way, he's getting married and he's striving to Colorado.

So just in case you're wondering where Franche is, what'd you say?

Then?

Well, I actually like to know his question too, but I can. I can jump off of that one.

I forget, I forget what both of them were.

Just answer them.

Well he can tell because is that the question? How can?

My question was how do you when your voice is getting better?

Oh, when it doesn't hurt and it doesn't feel like when I sing right now, it sounds like sandpaper and like every note it's like I have to reach up to the note and the note won't just like start where I want it to, like I have to like I have to push when I'm not pushing to sing.

So do you think when you had that surgery they should have put your suit through some kind of therapy to re teach you how to or to teach you how to sing and talk.

It's insane that they didn't, Yes, is it?

Though?

I'm starting to think all systems are fucked up. Like I'm trying to get married and it's so stupid. Nicky knows all about this is probably so sick of it. But we can't get married. We can't get a marriage license unless you have two breath certificates, one for each potential spouse and then if anyone's been married and divorced in the past, you have to provide a divorce decree, not a divorce certificate.

Both exists, and the court and the only parliament in London, the only way to get a divorce DAKI.

In New York City, one of the biggest bustling and you would think functional cities in the world, is to write a fucking letter in the post and you know, put it through the post and a postal money order for a mystery amount, and you have to provide the index number who would know that? And the exact date of your divorce? Who would know that? And you can't get it otherwise you have to call three one one. You keep getting hung up on the whole phone system

The whole system is broken.

Everything is everything's every is broken in sucks, particular in New York. You're just like, how is this place functioning?

You understand how everything's paper and you just go to and everything's so slow.

It takes.

That's why I don't.

I'm I'm scared of travel.

I'm scared of losing my passport because I'll have to go wheat and line somewhere and just depend on this woman who is grumpy to put.

My parents on the line. Dak you have to mail because I just had to do this with my passports. You have to mail them in and you just hope that somebody gets it and takes care of the paperwork and you get your passport back.

And Yeah, if somebody murdered someone, we would have their divorce decree in thirty seconds, you know what I mean, we'd be like it was the index number is three six one oh nine.

So podcast investigation, you should murder Matt.

Yeah, that's that's the only way to get anything done now is to be like, how is Noah going to get her passport? And have a whole podcast series about it, the one of people getting things done.

Yes, you're so right, And because even I'm sure you googled a million things of how to do this. It reminded me of this woman who just it was in the news like a month ago she killed her husband with fentanyl and they found call up for Google searches, which were like how much fentanyl to kills my like literally like that specific like a man that's one hundred and eighty pounds six foot one won't let me fuck this new guy I just met and want.

To move in with.

And then she's like then it goes how to clear your.

Search which and there's others of like how long how much does if his death certificate says unknown reasons, can you still get your life insurance? Because clearly it was like still the autopsy was pending and she's still trying to get that money. It was like, it's just so funny and humiliating for these things to be read out in court and that she's gonna have to like sit there and witness them.

And if you murdered someone, I was thinking about it, what would I do? I go to the library and google it?

No, you have to do you have like you have to use a computer a library. No, to use a computer at a library, you have to have an account and sign in.

You can just how he got he went to the library.

Oh no, he sent it from his church disc drive and they found that he saved it on a disc that was all the data from that disc the floppy disk he like sent in a hard drive disc and they traced that back to his church computer. But these people are so stupid. But what an I'm sorry, I don't mean to victim blame, but what a fucking.

Moron marrying a woman who would kill you?

Is that rude? I think it's probably rude.

You are with someone that is that stupid to google how to murder you and then google about your life in church policy. You married a fucking moron, and you had a baby with this moron. She would feed you drinks in bed and like. And he even told his friends, I think my wife is poisoning me. You're an idiot. You set yourself up to be killed. You should have done I'm sorry to victim blame, but I'm blaming a little bit here.

Well, nothing's more humiliating than dine. That's like the hands of the woman that no just humiliating.

I mean, dying is do you couldn't figure out how to live?

Poor Logan Roy died in a toilet?

Oh yeah, so did dad? Really?

I mean, I think a lot of people probably die in there. It's a lot of renting and getting up and you're a lot and you're alone, so if you need help, you're you're on your own.

Kid. I want to die in a dream, but.

I'm kind of mad at this guy.

I mean, I want to die.

At this guy.

You die in Matt's dreams all the time because he married him on probably because she was like hot, And it's just like, be smarter, marry someone who if they murder you.

Everyone that's been murdered by this fouse, male or female, they all murdered.

They all married.

Someone who's going to murder him.

You gotta be shared for every single person.

Did you see the kid who the most disturbing video going around in the last month. If you didn't see this, you've been under a rock. I know you've seen it because you're on the same redd a design. Yeah, who are you thinking about the most tragic thing you've ever seen? The worst way to die? Imaginable.

I can't even hear this. This is a trigger warning.

No, no, no, no, it's not I have no idea. No, you guys can stomach this. It's not gruesome. The kid who jumped off, I can't the cruise and.

The cruise is oh I saw that.

The shark that's an AI generated like No, that everyone that said it was a shark fin He probably did eventually get eaten by sharks, like whether he drowned and then they ate him. But that little thing you see is actually the rope in the water next to the flotation device.

No, I think on you you're talking about the shark the I think it was in Turkey. There's like a kid just swimming next to a shark. Yeah, like the shark takes him down.

I haven't saw that.

That was the one we watched, right, Remember when the guy gets eaten. When we saw him bobbing around, we talked about that was years ago.

There was like who Let the Dogs Out? Play?

In the background. There was like some crazy song playing in the background.

How is this song?

This?

Like in Turkey?

One?

I think it was in Turkey. I could probably find the video.

Although one of the kid, this kid was eighteen, just graduated and they went on like a booze cruise and it was like a pirate ship theme. He jumps off a cruise in the middle of the night on a dare and then they have footage of him swimming like and you see what you think is a shark tail,

So it's a smaller ship. It looks like a canamar ran like it had some nets on it.

Yeah, it was smaller than like a cruise ship.

Because I was reading all about this and how many people jump off these things thinking it'll just be easy. There's lifeboats, there's those little you know, life savers that they throw out to you.

But this pitch blackout and it takes seven miles to turn around.

Did you hear that?

Seven miles from So when you start breaking to turn around, so then you are seven miles away and then you go back and by that time a current has taken you miles in the other direction. So you are you are fucked if you jump off a cruise ship.

I have a question for you. Yeah, are you more mad at how much his friends hated him or at him for being stupid enough to take I'm not.

Bad at the kid. I think that this is a drinking problem.

It's like, it's my argument about I'm not going to get into it, but rape on college campus is more of a drinking problem than a rape problem. But that could get me canceled, so I won't go into it. But people do things when they're drunk that they would never ever do if they weren't drinking. And this kid is eighteen, he's wasted, he's trying to impress girls. Someone dares him to jump off the thing. He's never really been the guy to like do anything wacky in.

His life, is he?

Is he not?

Or no?

I'm not painting a picture of like who I think this kid is.

Like you get a little alcohol in you and suddenly you are like I have a personality, I'm comfortable around my friends. I'm the guy that I always wanted to be. And he jumped off. And the problem was I was thinking about it because this ship probably didn't take seven miles to turn around. It could probably turn around quickly. The problem being though he's on a ship with tons of drunken kids, music playing. Even if they turn the music off. You hear the kids in the video, they're

Yeah, I think he was just like it's too sad. I think he was just you.

Know, when you're eighteen, you kind of think you're invincible and you're just clown around with your friends like that was could that could be almost any eighteen year old guy who like goes on spring break.

With him Oh yeah, anyone.

It could happen.

So many of the comments and read it were like this makes me not want to have kids, or like this makes me fear for my two year old already, Like you can't really control them once they get past that age. When they go in their first spring break with their high school friends, you know they're gonna drink, and when you drink, you get so fucking dumb.

But even when you don't drink, if you're just clowning with your friends, like you know, we've all jumped off the back of a boat a few times, just not at midnight and you know, like two am in the Caribbean with your friends.

And that's where the drunkness comes in, is like this will be I did this earlier today, it's the same, or like being showing off for a girl.

I mean, I just.

But he might have just done it to make his friends laugh.

Yeah, he might have been gay and showing off for a guy, like I don't know, but he was. Yeah, he could have been just a guy could have been. But I think it's I think everything.

I don't think it's related. It doesn't have to be related to having sex.

Yeah, I think everything is wasn't status with guys.

So it's like we're graduating, we're done. Daring him is celebrating. And the thing that kills me is that it took so long to tell someone who is you know, navigating the boat, the captain or whatever, to turn around. Like that's also another level of peer pressure is like Okay, who's going to be the one that's like, hey, we got to like there's an emergency. That probably took ten minutes, fifteen minutes.

Yeah, for somebody to realize that that moment that this is serious yes, and we got to do something about it.

I would have been that girl that wanted to tell, but did it want to be the one that like ruined the fun if it really was not a big deal, you know what I mean, Like mak he told and now we're all in trouble and we have to turn it around. When he just jumped off, he could have just come back in. It wasn't a big deal. You're like constantly navigating those little things. Yeah, Wayne, like the yeah, was this worth me saying anything?

Who was the whistleblower? I wonder.

Probably the literal with like there were whistles going tough, like when he sked off, like it was it was everyone.

Was freaking out. It's such.

It's a sad video, but I like to watch it because I don't know. I follow this Reddit account called last image.

It's my favorite. Oh yeah, and it was on there.

It's just the last image of the person before they die.

I don't follow it, but when I come across it, it's my favorite on it.

Yeah, it's like what's like a jack Fast image that.

But there's also ones of like the ones.

Oh, there's sweet ones with like grandparents on the deathbed and like or there's you know, this is the last time my cousin, you know, he killed himself, but this was a time where we were happy. It was the last time I saw him kind of thing. But the ones that are the best, in my opinion, best with quotes are like there was this one, Oh my god, this was in the news recently. You can find it if you google it. A guy was having like clearly was having an affair, didn't want to be married to

It goes up to the top of this crazy rocky craggy ridge and he.

Pushes her off. But before he does that, they take a warm, sweet selfie together. And then it later came out and then he you know, cries fake cries like she slipped and fell. She's so far down that they don't even they can't even find her or hear her, like she's so dead. And and there was also like

They're actually most likely to kill you. There's something to statistic that I've quoted in my stand up, but if you get married, if you get murdered as a woman, it's like ninety percent chance that your boyfriend or husband did it right.

They don't even look anywhere else at first. It's obviously going to be one of these guys.

Isn't that crazy?

That's insane, So just be on be on on the lookout, but not an actual look at it.

I think for a lot of the people that are in that situation, what happens is they they're like in some sort of horrible cycle of abuse, and so they have to do certain things.

I just listened to that what is it, the Rowing Yes podcast?

Yes, and even she you know, early in the podcast she talks about her background and her husbot.

What do you mean on a cycle of abuse?

Yeah, yeah, so her her husband at the time like had the keys to the house and like she couldn't even get in or out of her house without without like his permission.

Yeah.

J K Rowling J Long asked, bitch, we know, Like yes, I'm so.

He might have been like we're going to take this hike, and like she was just like, well, what I guess I.

Had tois have I been on with you where I think this could be the end.

Of week and I hope it is.

Ain't hiking.

I could just push him. I'll never again.

Matt's always like edging up to the edge and I'm like, get away from there, and I get my little vaginal wink whatever it's called. Some bestie sent it to me anytime anyone.

I love.

Chris is like describing a painful or scary situation.

I get this weird.

Thing now in my vagina that is like it's almost like a hiccup or like a feeling, like a like being a top of a rollercoast story. Like it's like a terrible feeling. And I now it happens constantly. It like started ten years ago, maybe seven years ago. I don't know why. It just never happened before. But he always gets close to legen. I'm like, stop, stop my vagina, and then, like hikers walk bile us.

I feel that way just hearing about him getting close to a ledge. It does something somatically to my body, like let me just do it, let me see where it goes. It's like my stomach goes up in my like abdomen or up in my ribs, and then my throat clenches.

So yes.

Do you ever look at things on Reddit and you'll see some guy climbing a tower and you just go like, just a little picture of it will send you don't have that height.

Thing, Well no, I don't have a height thing, but today you have a height problem.

You're not scared of heights because you want them so bad for your body.

I feel like if I get high up on something, I'll take some.

Of that height. You're short.

Whenever I say you're short on stage, people always later when they see you're like, he's not short.

I'm like, yeah, buter than me.

Yes, you know what are you five eight and a half?

No? No, no, no, no, no, I'm five seven and three quarters.

Okay, yeah if if I'm really if you're pushing it in a y, you're not slouching.

All right, all right, we'll be back. All right, you need to take a break, okay, because Chris needs to take one. We called a short break.

Okay, got back.

All right, we're back after our short break.

Wait, what were you gonna say, Chris about your stature or whatever?

Oh, I don't know.

You were just saying something about like if I do this.

That break was so long. This commercials are so good. I guess short.

You don't speaking about things that just skipped over. No, no, this morning, I was listening to read I used to get those those for literally seven years.

You're like, oh, I know they were not pretty pannies.

But.

Uh that makes me waste a tangentle what panties do you do you need to care about? Like underwear on a lady and a lady meaning me like, and you don't have answer it if it makes you uncomfortable.

No, I don't think it's something that really, I think it only occurs to me when it's either extreme right right, whether it's like, oh, this is awesome or this is disgusting terrible.

Yeah, you've never been someone to be like.

I love this because I've neverwear.

I mean, I know what gets you going.

It's things first, all tan lines, and then that's why whenever I get a spray tan, I always make sure I have it. I wouldn't if I wasn't dating Chris, I would do no tan lines because why would you need them? But I know that they just like because they're the first thing as a young boy that you see that's like she is on there's something that shouldn't there's something naughty about this.

I don't know. I don't know.

It's like it does something to you and makes sure vagina wings LIKENI was.

Talking about that it does. Yeah, rest question, yah question.

I'm so glad you brought this up, because what's a Victoria's secret for going to do like a decade? Yeah, I'm trying to trying to redo her wardrobe. Yeah, she had a checklist. I had a interest.

It's like what women essentials women need into their forties or something like that.

Was it that just like what like just closet essentials that all women should have. And I'm still trying to figure that out. Some of it was like a cape and I.

Was your w.

Your book of hoaxes, like thin were turning into a spinster.

Are you from.

Romaniac That's what Draculacula caps from television.

Oh really, well, my my parents are from Romania. Oh gotcha, gotcha? Gotcha?

Sorry, Okay, I have I have a very I was just stunned. So I go into a Victoria's Secret. It's great, there's like a sale going on. I'm digging through underwear and I woke up and I see a lot of men in the store with their girlfriends. The girlfriends are showing the panties. Some of the guys are just like walking around independently, and I'm just kind of like a little bit disturbed by it.

I like that they should maybe be leashed.

Have you have you ever seen those those pictures on Reddit of the men walking around the store with their hands behind their back. No, like there's like a type of guy that when they're like bared and their wife be shopping, they're just like walking around.

That's so funny because that's the that's the book I want to get. When my mom used to get mad at me when she would be shopping and she go, I know you want to leave. I can tell by your body, and I'd be like, what shoulday? She's like the way your arms are crossed, so I should have been doing that because it does look like it.

But it's also such a sign of like, I'm not like jerking off, like it's.

A Victoria's secret, you know what I mean?

They're Victorias there, They're just like, this is just just supporting wife.

It does seem like some guys I'm not here because I want to be here?

Yes, yes? So what what? What is going?

So? Do you think those guys are enjoying that process or are they being dragged?

What did it look like you?

I really couldn't tell. It did kind of look like they were enjoying it. I think they like it.

And I only say this because I think a guy that doesn't care about underwear, like truly would not love it there, Like I couldn't drag Matt into a situation like that. He couldn't care less. I spent so much once on lingerie and he was just he didn't even notice at all. And I'm like, this is this was like three hundred dollars, this stupid get up that I'm like.

That's why I only buy really the sluttiest things I have are like from Amazon for seven dollars because they'll get torn off right away and they're they're just to look like really slutty.

For a second. I've got one that I've been sitting on for a while. Literally literally it's shoved up ass. It's not it's not hanging in there. I don't even want you to near it at this point. I've got so many infections.

But no, it's yeah, I just I like that you don't really care about that stuff, even though I was saying the other day like if I want to just turn you on for whatever reason, like I know exactly what.

I can't get it to work and i can't get out.

Of this position.

Or classically, and I've said this before, just take out a tit casually and be funny.

About us and just go like, so what should we do for er on Friday?

Like what do you think?

And just a tit is just hanging out and he doesn't see it.

That's always fun.

Or you used to send me pictures like that too, where like everything about.

The picture was normal. You weren't trying to do anything. Yes, Like I flashed you in Munich Stockholm.

Yeah, with the outside with them where that picture like beautiful, Like we went up to that cherry blossom tree or whatever and then we were walking down and I saw him and I just flashed him and it was thrilling.

Yeah, some flashed boobs are a fun idea.

It was such a fun day walking around in Stockholm. I just saw all your photos, Chris. They're so good, they're so.

Niceties because it's like from a digital camera, right, Yeah, Chris bought one of those creat.

That's the sound of it, you.

Know where it's like you turn on the flash and it goes like it's a piercing sound that dogs can hear. And then yeah, they're they're so classic and they they look exactly like the nineties.

There's a field trip and really cool.

There's some good ones in there. I know, there's so much. There's so much huge mistakes. Did you like someone?

Yes?

I was like, wait, how come I'm like nostalgic for this?

What did it happen in the nineties? It's all grainy. I'm massaging Niki. This was two weeks ago. No recollection of ever massaging Niki? Like, no recollection. I was playing piano. Yes, there's a picture where you're wearing an iHeart Oslo shirt and I'm massaging you. Don't remember doing that?

I remember that either.

I guess it was not memorable.

No, I mean the massage. We had a couple of memorable massages there.

That wasn't it.

How are you guys like right now looking back on that trip with like a little bit of perspective, Now, what's your initial reaction?

Anya, I'm really glad I went. I felt lucky that I got to go and play for all those people and just to do it with my best friend and her partner. I'm glad I got to know you better. I mean we've known each other eleven ten years, but I felt like in two weeks I got to know you so much better.

So Anya is so on board with Chris conn Oh really you're in the girls chat.

She's fully endorsing, not getting.

No.

I mean that was like all positive stuff. It was car like he accepts you for who you are.

Yeah, like you really he's laughing a litttle.

There's no secrets anymore with you too, Like he just is You noted that we tease each other a lot, and you liked that?

Did I say that? I want not?

Like You're like you're short, ha ha, Like like that kind of dynamic is rare, I think in a couple where you can like roast each other pretty hard about stuff and you it's so easy going and yeah, I mean you're a you have a unique lifestyle. You know, not a lot of people have your career and stuff, and Chris seems to totally roll.

People could put up with it.

I would always like, you're like I would do anything to have you be my lady. Like just like guys and my damns just idiots. And I'm like, you couldn't handle this at all. You have no fucking clue. You see a girl who's like posing seductively with my leg out and you're like, I could hit like.

That's not what this is.

He has a lot of depression, and she was the thoughts and weird food things and anxieties about other people's food things and worrying about why I'm not like this or that, and comparing myself to others. There's like a lot more that goes to this than like a cool pose of me like hey, I'm coming here city.

And my tongue hanging out.

That's what.

I don't know what they project onto me, but it you gotta be a certain you're you're need. I needed a special man to put up with me, and I'm very grateful.

We project like stuff on people all the time. But one of my favorite things that you said, do you know that movie Dangerous Minds? Do you remember that?

Well?

In that movie they I think Michelle Pfeiffer comes out and she's just like everybody, maybe this was another movie I might be. You start starting, you start with an a, right, So she tells all the students you start with an A.

You're gonna have to lose this A.

You know, like so right now everybody's got an A, and it's just like everybody's like, oh man, so this is great.

Well I liked that.

Like, you know, you get exposed to a lot of really like funny guys, good looking guys, tall, tall guys, and you know that sort of thing, like you know, you don't go to the same job every single day, and I know all the guys you work with, and you can just be like, okay, cool because most people that's what they deal with, like their their wife or girlfriend goes to a job and then comes home and

Of you know.

It's like you, yeah, you don't think you're not looking at a guy being like he's like this guy's so yes, good looking, I can't wait to date him.

You're like, what are his problems.

No, I and I used to do that. I think I it was up until like five years ago. I used to you can compare the person you're with to all these different people and or people you know relationships you see on TV, and yours will always fall short because you're just seeing the perfection that these people are

Honestly, With age, we all get a little more cynical and weathered and like, yeah, show me, show me what you got.

Yeah, Yeah, let's see what you got.

I had a boss one that was like, I'm like, is it Minnesota that's the show me state? Or is it Missouri.

It's Missouri.

Yeah, I know.

He was like, I'm the show me state, so you know what, show me what you got. And I was so cynical. I had just gotten fired from like three radio stations in a row because we got bought out, not fired, but like we all got laid off, and I was just like, I'm not going to show you shit. I got unemployment. I don't like, I don't need to show you. I'll work here if you want me to, but I'm not. He was like the nicest boss I ever had. I ended up working for him for six years.

I don't.

You're like, you got you start with a D and if you want to be my boyfriend, you got to show me.

You better show me. I mean, she starts with a D like she hooks up with them on me I.

Start right on their day and I work up to theirs, go back down the ball. That's what you're supposed to do, right, what's going on up in your mind? Yes, I see what you're saying. Yes, that does relate. I just feel like it's just I don't know how people in their twenties make it through and like don't constantly go for a shinier thing.

But they're learning, that's what That's what everybody's learning. Yeah, at this point, some people longer than others.

Yes, yeah, Well, I was reflecting on the Europe trip and I realized my favorite parts. And this is no indictment on any other part of the trip. My favorite parts were the drives to the airport.

Oh that's because that's when we were all like kind of hanging.

I like, I realized my thing, and I'm just trying to embrace it as opposed to hate myself for it, because I want to hate myself for it because I I'm unlike other people. Like I'm kind of looking forward to Brian's wedding being rainy because we'll get to stay in and play board games and like talk as opposed to like doing more outdoorsy things that don't lend itself to the stuff that I like to do. And that's

Yeah.

I loved I was just I loved like I just that's when I got to know you so well, Chris. Like that long drive from the London remember from Heathrow to our hotel was like an hour and twenty Yeah.

Yeah, those were my favorite and they're probably the least favorite, Chris, because we're like in a little like.

Were they not fun?

No?

I threw up.

No, I love the whole thing. I agree.

I mean, I think one of my favorite parts because I mean and I would see each other every few weeks or years or whatever it was or just some hang so it was really that was one of my favorite parts too. But I liked every I liked almost everything. I like the food, I like the adventures. I liked the laziness when we could get it in like I thought it was. Yeah, I said today on the show that we have the same level of untidiness.

Oh that is so.

I think that really helps us both out because neither of us got mad at each other for anything that's going on in the.

That's so nice.

I mean, I just I can't I know stories of people being like my wife is a mess and I can't stand it, and it's like, I just imagine being married to some guy like that who's constantly making me feel bad about messes.

I would I wouldn't.

I would probably put up with it and then he'd murder me someday like I would never put up. I couldn't do if you You've never made me feel bad about that is my number one thing secure about too, So the fact that you don't care about that and I've never I want to straighten up for you when you come over. I definitely like put stuff away and think like cause you're you keep your space is nice, like your house is immaculate, but you're organized.

Sometimes yeah, I mean not all the time. I would say that I'm similar to what you saw in the hotel rooms, like sometimes it was perfect and sometimes it was definitely nice.

Yeah, that's nice to just not feel because I know, I know there's so many couples out there where it's like, what is this doing here?

Why don't you put this away. It's also like we don't we don't live together.

Yeah, I'm always like when we break into song when we're angry at each other. There's been this like fucking real to reel machine that's just sitting in our dining room that Chris brought over Chris Matt's best friend who's his bandmate, and our dining.

Room is best she loves you.

Our dining room is the area where the ship just accumulates. For months, there was like nicky merch in the dining room, and finally I'm like, can we please move Nikki's merch to the basement lost by the.

Way exactly, And he was like, why is this divorce paid notification here on our mantle?

Like this is bad?

Like Juju.

That's probably the name was on our man First it was under.

Here under I'm.

Like that bed, yeah, you threw it away, And now they yeah, I'm like, can I not have your ex wife's name.

Displa Yeah, I mean I agree with you.

But every week there's a new weird, huge thing in the dining room. It's just the room that collects new stuff. And I'm always like, what is this weird star machine thing? And then now I gave it to Nikki, but.

Oh my god, it's like a star projector on the wall in my room. It's it's awesome.

She was bitching about it on the Girl's Chat and I go, I'll have it, and you just shipped.

I also think it's probably tough because you guys as like musicians. You have tons of instruments and.

So much gear.

Your whole life is just gear.

Like my baby likes to keep the real too reel and this shitty corner when will we be moving? And we just like make up song the past, aggressive songs to each other that always started. Yeah, it is annoying and I need him to stop. If it's in a song, we laugh, and if it's not, it's kind of like all right, we should talk about this in therapy.

Yeah, Chris and I are plans to move in together the summer ish. Yeah, whenever, you know, come on over.

As parts. We're like, okay, okay, we're gonna do this.

It was in Europe, by the way, for me, Europe, I look back at things a little bit with like rose color, like you know, a little bit nostalgic. But I thought it was there's like some magic to it, and I thought it was pretty amazing and I got to fall in love with Anya all over again, which was really fun.

And the time.

We did a bunch of that too.

You know, we didn't fight like at all.

Yeah.

We had one moment in Berlin where I got a little testy and I was like, you know what, fine and I just like walked out of a gift shop and you were like, what do we what's going on here?

Yeah?

What was that about? It was like I was hungry?

Oh, I know, both were like you got a little form VENTI. That was the day that we're like, can we get this extra hot? It all started with.

Stands Museum the Holocaust. Yeah, that'll put you in the We were at checkpoint. Charlie was at checkpoint oh yeah, and like I had already gone off and I was just in a little I just turned into a four year old. I'm just like because I was hungry, I wanted to sit down and eat. Chris I was like, let's go somewhere and eat. And I'm like, but where do you want to eat? He's like, I don't care. I'm not that hungry, And like.

But how aren't you hungry? You haven't eaten today yet?

And then I was starting to feel fat because I had already eaten, but I would needed to eat again. And then I was just like it was it was so many things, and then you were the you. We thank god you were the one to come out, and because I was just like standing out there, like what.

Am I gonna do? Like am I gonna walk home? Like what? What's the endgame here?

Like this is the first stop of our trip, Like I got it, We're gonna make up. And then you luckily came out of the store and we're just like what's going on?

It's very nice and sweet and then hung and I just feel like I just want to eat my bars sitting down and I just don't want to eat them running around and you're not hungry and you're never hungry, and I'm always hungry and I'm fat. And then you were just like we're at the topography of terror, which was a scale for.

Me, and uh yeah, but you were.

Thank god, you were just so much more mature than me that day. Like I always assume everyone's on my level. So I'm like, he's gonna meet me where I'm at and he's gonna do the same thing. And I'm like, where when are we gonna get back on the same track? But you got us back on right away.

Yeah, I mean, it's it's hard to be sad. At checkpoint Charlie, and I was also like, what is this? I don't even understand what this place is. I feel stupid.

I feel like an idiot that I don't know any about this history. I don't because you were trying to explain the Berlin Wall and I was like, I literally don't understand why they couldn't climb over it, Like it's not that tall, just climb over it. And then and I just didn't and it made me. I was just feeling all all the fields that day.

Early in the trip, I will say that we, the three of us, I think people that are listening to this have probably traveled with friends and relatives and family. Sometimes a group just can't travel well together. Nobody wants to make a decision, nobody's in charge. Everybody is sort of out, like trying to time, eating at different times, and then everybody trying to out what is it like like manners each other so that it's like, well, I don't care, well, what do you want to do?

What do you But we were a good crew.

Like when somebody wanted to make a decision, they would when somebody didn't. It wasn't a big deal and we could have we could have been fighting the whole time. So it was just that though we were honestly we were all best buds. It feels like you and I.

I mean, I was more nervous about you and you and me because I have traveled with Anya before. She's like, and I know that you too are not going to get into something because you're both agreeable people. But I was worried about you and me. But I was surprised that was the only time we fought. I would call that maybe a fight if you were like, I don't like to say fight, but like, that was the most tense it got.

Yeah, I wouldn't call it a fight because there wasn't a back and forth.

No, Yeah, that's amazing, that was right. I just capitulated.

Yeah, there was just a lot of Yeah. But I was I was really struggling with depression on that trip. I look back on it and I was I was like, like, the other day, my friend got depressed and she doesn't normally get depressed, and she said to me, she was like, it was really it was eye opening for me because Nikki always says when she's depressed like this, like I can't imagine having children or like having some kind of

I don't think people understand how difficult it is for like you and onion creative people to to travel to another country that you've never been before. There's pressure to sell tickets, there's pressure to you know, like is anybody gonna think, you know, English was not the first language for most of the people that came and saw your show. That's on your mind. You've never been to any of these places. You've barely ever been to Europe.

Right, yeah, yeah, just to Paris, Yeah.

And so it's I mean, there was there was a lot of pressure on you for that. But then also you know, like I know that to do those shows is old hat for you, and it's you know, you go on autopilot and not autopilot because you're like, you know, you're working and stuff like that. But it's not easy to go out in a foreign country and do those shows. And I don't know if it landed on you that that was part of it.

It's probably subconsciously just in me.

And it's not like once I did one show and you're a bos like, oh, they're all gonna be good. Every single one was a new like it's gonna be okay? Is there are these people gonna come out? Are they gonna even give a shit? Are they going to understand? And how draining it is to be in that state and do commany. I know a lot of people are like, oh, it's not that hard. She just gets up on stage and tells her jokes. But it's like, you know, it's

You know, I didn't have any anything to.

Do but be supportive of you guys, and so it was easier for me to just be like, I'm here to have fun with my girlfriend and my friend, so right,

Oh yeah, they got all the jokes. Yeah, it was really never a struggle. There was maybe one or two references where I ended up having to like explain who John Banay Ramsey was. I thought that would be like kind of a worldwide thing, even though I didn't assume it at first, But it worked even better once I explained who it was.

Sometimes it was just generational, you know, because some of the people are like twenty years old or you know.

Twenty Yeah, they weren't alive when that was a sight.

Yeah, but yeah, people, they were such warm audiences. I love everything you said, Chris, and and also, like you know, to your point, sleep deprivation and jet lag are so real, and for me, I feel like I can't even get to sea level if I am sleep deprived, like I am not in my right mind.

Barely l levels level.

I was also, and no one put this on me except myself. I want to be very clear about that, but I was really exhausted at the idea of being a good partner in like being a tourist, Like.

I put that on myself. I did you were you never made me do anything or were like you got to see this thing.

There was none of that. But I am conditioned.

I realized from therapy yesterday that I have a father who is really a go getter and always wants to go out and do things, and I have a mother who is more like me. And my mom did not have the same kind of leniency from her partner as

Then the problem is you do that to yourself. But it's like, you know, Anya would go off and she would go do things on her own, and I could go do things on my own. But the thing that was like a bummer was you would you would sort of feel so guilty about it or so you would shame yourself, like as if it was being reflected off of me or Anya who wanted to go do something yes, And it was like I don't. You can do whatever you want, yes, I because I love the the lazy times too.

Yeah.

And you and you are fine going out by yourself, like you have a grand old time getting into four thousand steps. I mean you because I remember the day.

That we just were talking about the Dead Sea trip. You were not going to come, and you were like, I'm going to bail. I'm not feeling it, and we were.

Going to go to the Dead Sea the next day, right yead?

And I was like, Okay, that's totally cool.

I'll go, But then I just thought we haven't done that many things, us three together, And that was the discussion that led me to go to the Dead Seed that day because we were going to go the following day.

The thing that's hard is because you are so sensitive about these things, and it's never just like, hey, I'm gonna go do this? Do you want to come, and it being yes or no based on however you were feeling that. Sometimes it's tough because you you will guilt yourself into going even though you don't want to. Yes, and I don't want anybody coming with me that doesn't want to be there.

Yes, who does, right? But then I also have a good time sometimes.

But then there's also there's a fine line because I'm like, I think, and yeah, you gots done right, we did? I think Sometimes I'm like, I know Nicky enough to know I know she would prefer to stay in bed right now, But I think this hour long thing. I'm going to push on this and I'm going to say I think this is worth doing, and then you can go back and take yes your naps.

That was already stay.

I forgot that we had a show that night.

We went an hour and the Dead Sea, the guy that the show couldn't either. He was like, you went to the dead seat today, What.

Did we do something wrong? Was it dangerous? And he's like no, just I can't believe because the show tonight, so you wouldn't have gotten back in time. I'm like, oh, he's like.

Nothing, But that's that's what I would do.

So like if I had something at six o'clock at night and I woke up at like eleven, the whole day would revolve around that moment and I wouldn't be able to do anything like anything.

Classic ADHD meme, like those people that say, like me, me with something to do at six pm?

Oh, get so much done today?

D D me actually today And it's like, yes, just sitting doing nothing until six pm.

But that's what's impressive about what, like, you know, like that day in Munich, we had such a great time because we just like kicked it on those scooter.

Yeah, that was really fun and I was.

I remember I was, I do nothing.

I feel like I have to be looking at my notes and going over things and preparing things, whereas if I'm like on a scooter running through and watching people surf in a green river, I'm like, I can't do work right now. It's everything I do is to make me not feel guilty about the fact that if I'm doing nothing, I should be working.

You know my part of that.

Go ahead, Onya, Sorry.

I was going to say, you know what, I cured my guilt over this years ago with with like Nikki what like I used to do this thing where I'd be like, I should go with Niki because Nikki and I lived together, as you know, for a couple of years, and then anytime she was in town and had stuff to do, She's very, very active, way more so than I am. I'd be like watching the Real Housewives and she'd be like, I'm doing seven sets, do you want

To go the greatest gift you can give your friends.

The problem with is with NICKI and I really love it. If you worked on this in therapy, give me something. It's a constant dis being, constantly dissatisfied with what you're doing. So if you're if you're napping, you're not saying because I'm different, like I don't relate to this at all. I'm like, when I'm napping, I'm like, this is good

When I'm I'm trying to move out. When I'm sleeping, I.

Don't live here anymore.

I'm just why I'm working with a therapist.

It seems like you really got a good to run dimpany about your dad's stuff, like it really.

Yeah, that was a big thing of like, I I can't stand my mom wanting to Like even my dad will if he hears this, he'll be so mad. But we were coming back from New York and my mom is exhausted because we went to Dave Matthews. I flew out last minute. The air is disgusting. We go to Dave Matthews, She's like, has a couple drinks. We go to the cell afterwards.

It was a late night.

She didn't sleep well because she like her heart rate was like spiking, and she didn't sleep till three am. We get up in the morning at seven to go to the airport, and then she doesn't sleep on the plane. And then I'm like, you got a nap today? Please just tell me you do nothing today, because she really deserves it in a way that I would even feel like I deserved it. And I go, don't let dad give you shit about taking a nap. Holla's with us, by the way, and she goes, I would her Dad's

Holla's in the car with them too, because she's getting dropped off at her parents, which is in my parents subdivision.

And she wrote to me later and she goes, did your mom tell you? And I go, no, what?

And she goes, you were right, and I go what And she goes, seconds after pulling out of your apartment, your mom said I'm gonna need a nap today, and your dad goes, oh, of course you are. You're gonna nap all days. That what you're gonna do?

Had that whole thing, and I was like, I fucking knew it, and it's not my dad's fault.

My dad is just an active person who does not relate at all to people who need would ever need to nap, or wouldn't want to go. Look at a plaque that says Thomas Jefferson took a shit here once or whatever, is like he can't understand that someone wouldn't be interested, Like he can't understand this person, which I only know I'm not. I used to feel like a fucking pariah because my dad would get so mad at me.

You'd be like, let's go to Schnooks get some groceries, and.

I go, I don't want to go because I don't want to see anyone I know, And you go, what are you even talking? You don't want to see someone you know? And I go, I might see someone I know, I don't want to talk. And he used to be like, why would you ever say that or think that you don't like seeing people? And then you get the Internet, and that's literally what every meme is about, that no one wants to see each other. Everyone clocks someone at the grocery store pretends like they didn't see him.

I'm not alone.

Everyone doesn't like seeing people they know.

But I grew up in a house where that makes you crazy, not normal. So you have a problem, You're lazy, you're you're just weird. And so I relate all of the things that I am naturally to that and I have to break free of it. And I'm grateful that I have a boyfriend who accepts me, who exectes me for who I am.

I'm going to that. Yeah.

No, And Nikki, he's the best. I am the best dad ever. But I do. He does not under he doesn't relate to nappers, Yeah those things.

Yeah yeah.

And if you don't relate, you can't understand. You can't fathom why people we would need this much, Russ, And I'm one of those people, and so it boggles his mind, like where did you get this from?

Who are you?

But also I think people are like, oh, you want you left town? So you were on a vacation, and a vacations vacations are easy and relaxing, and now you're back from that. Yes, but some vacations are not like an this.

One was not.

It was go go go, all right, We'll be right back after this and short break, short break, and we're back from a short break.

So let's do some Reddit dumb, shall we. This is your redit dumb.

She's taken deep. God, my voice can re record that if you want. We should.

It makes me cringe because I thought that sounded good at the time, but now it shows how far I've grown.

Oh my god.

I just pulled up my phone and on your earlier today on the Girl's Chat, was saying that Matt was listening to some music last night. I won't say who.

I won't say who, okay, And.

You're like, who is this? What are you playing? It sounds like a bunch of guys who have never had sex before. And I was like, please tell me who it is.

And this is the name of the band, babe.

Don't say it.

I won't play it. It's so funny.

And I did listened to them. They were pretty good. I think I kind of like that. I like those little virginal eunuchs. Okay, it's time for Reddit dump.

I will say that Reddit is like trying to go dark right now because they're trying to protest the banning of third party apps. Because if third party apps, if people can download those and use those to look on Reddit. Then Reddit does not get to have the data from those to sell, which is how Reddit makes all of its money.

And the third party apps are much easier for like moderators and the people that are that are like, you know the kind of the heart and soul of.

Reddit to use? Yeah, I use just the Reddit app?

Do you use that? Thirty two?

The more I've been reading about all this time, like I got to get this third part people are like, yeah, these third party apps are way better, way better.

Ye make it more user friendly?

Well they're like parties. No, yes, I think they're more user friendly too, just a better way.

And I do want to say that one of the most soothing for me things is Nikki doing a Stero Silverman impression.

It's so weird.

It's like my ASMR, which I don't have a SMR, but you were doing it over the weekend. I was like, oh my god, this is so good.

Really yeah, It's like I'm trying to figure out why that would make you feel soothed. Let me just think deep inside my pussy walls, and.

I don't know.

I'm just trying to so good you cannot that's so nice. Okay, I'll do it this whole segment. Okay, First off, my.

Voice teacher would be like, please stop doing that, so I will no. Uh, first up, let's do the one I sent you. The This is entitled this is from TikTok Cringe, which by the way, is not I told you this recently.

It's not all things that are cringe.

Sometimes it's just like a good TikTok which makes no fucking sense.

But sometimes they're cringe. This one's not cringe. It was just interesting.

It's a guy on some podcast who probably has some kind of science degree, and because it's a TikTok clip, I trust what he's say, even though there was no photographic evidence or any evidence to support what he said.

But I think it's interesting. And it's called wild mice love hamster wheels.

I think happens.

If you put mouse wheels out in the forest.

I would imagine that mice would not use it. They do, they do. They love it. It has nothing to do with needing an outlet. It's just that they love doing it. There's amazing video of these like wheels there's just been put out in a forest and like wild mice who have the entire world to run in are still like hey, and I think that's us too. We look at these wheels and we think wheels in cages.

That's that's what the Internet is.

We love running on wheels, That's what it is. We love gossip, and it's not just the Internet that caused it. We've always loved it. We're just typing it now rather than whispering.

I thought that was pretty interesting because I do enjoy going on Reddit. I do enjoy looking at my phone. I do enjoy a lot of things that seem like mindless. I think growing up watching a ton of TV was actually great for me, and I would actually raise a child with them being able to watch hours of TV a day if they wanted, because as long as it was like good stuff that made enriched them and like was well written, I would have no problem with that. So I kind of liked this because we do like

I'm just.

Wild mice. I was waiting.

I want to see the footage.

There was no footage back up.

You just got to trust this guy that it's out there.

Trust this guy before doing videos like this. He's legit.

He seems to be an authority on certain things. All right, I'll buy what this guy said.

Yeah, I mean they made a clip about it, and there's another guy across from him who's looking interested in going really with this sneakers cross.

Well, no, there's like there's like an evolutionary reason for like us wanting news and liking news because if something, you know, if there was something that was outside that was going to kill you, you would want to tell everybody about it, and so wanting and needing that information was like essential y yes, years and years and years.

Ago, and like I just love and novelty.

We just love anything new because it excites us, and it also is Yeah, new things equal like wait, danger, that could be danger, whereas stuff that we know and trust your system does not respond to it because there's no danger. It wouldn't affect you in the tribe for this normal thing to come on through. Anya, what did you have thoughts about the wheel?

Hey? I was thinking about dear Abbey saying once a long time ago, or maybe it was sister and whatever, I don't know one of the landers. Yes, that gossip is not inherently bad. It's like shit talking is bad, but gossip is really just idle chatter, and then it got.

A bad rap over love. Gossip. Yeah, it's my favorite thing in the.

World, and I have to quit.

I have. I just heard something on gossiping that really tell me some gossip about gossip.

I know what it is. What Noah's gonna say? The thing didn't you send it to us? Nicky about how women are conditioned to gossip? Is that you're going to say, Noah.

No, no, okay, not at all. It's just about like a perspective of gossip. So I have a group of friends who are you know, like they know about like Jewish text way.

More than I do. And you know, like the Toro or whatever Jewish text.

You mean Hebrew it's a third party app that allows you to search red app so anyway, so they it talks about, you know, like gossiping is not good. And basically this thing was was really I don't know it. It just really made me think about gossip in a way. Gossiping you're basically like slaughtering someone's soul, but they can't defend themselves because when you're gossiping, you're talking about a third party. So the that third party is not able

I love that so Jewish, by the way, the words just like that's it's just so so biblical to be like slaughtering in a soul.

I love that because it is. And that's what it feels like when.

I when I when I do gossip, and I also know from all the stuff that I'm reading that for every negative thought you have about something, you're slaughtering your own soul. Like you, it's so bad to put out bad vibes about anyone, Like I just trying so hard to counter every negat thing I say with five positive things, because that's what my therapist said that the damage that a negative thought does on your brain, you can only counteract with five times the positive to make it go away.

To be like you look great, you look amazing, you're beautiful, you're smart, look at your curves, like I have to do five.

Things like Sarah, you're amazing, you're smart, look at your girl.

Dull, look at your curves.

But I love gossip so much, but it's one thing, like cigarettes or something I have to quit.

It's just it's poison for you.

It's slow poison.

I have a good remedy.

It's so fun.

Imagine the person is in the room, say whatever you wouldn't mind saying if they were in the room.

I try to do that, but it's hard to remember.

That so fun to gossip.

You guys think, I think it's probably you probably do. But do you, guys, ever think people are doing it about you?

Yes, I mean I assume they are, but I don't.

Care, you know, logically, but it doesn't like land on you that it's probably happening.

No, it does not.

The only times is when I post something that I'm really embarrassed by and I picture a certain female comedian sending it to other female comedians and them being like she's unhinged or.

She got fat.

Like that's that's all I care about, right, is that one snarky, mean girl comedian. And you know, everyone in here knows what I'm talking about, but like I could not that's the one person. But overall, you know, I've stumbled upon things written about me that are really mean, and they've affected me greatly. But and I know they're being said constantly, but I don't look at it, so I don't care.

Like my dad is always like, you're Reddit, they are weird.

Oh they're just pictures of your legs and just say, I'm like, those are not even as bad as the ones that are you know, talking about my speculating that I'm on drugs, Like, don't even read those ones, like, oh, I mean people, Yeah, there are people that are constantly talking about all of us. And I know that my friends who talk about people to me talk about me behind my back, and you should assume the same for me.

No one is talking about me. That's what I tell myself.

You wouldn't like that, though, what you I think?

No one's talking about me?

Oh okay, I don't care.

I just really don't care either. I'm sure I care how you commenters are like people on Reddit like, I don't care.

Yeah. Yeah.

My dad says that all the time. He says, what other people think of me is none of my business.

My favorite quote, yeah that is ever stuck with me is that is to remember that because it isn't your business, but it is slaughtering your soul.

When I was a child, my number one fantasy, this is so weird, aside from having virgins float or no, I think it was the people that have had sex. And I used to have a fantasy that, like, right, all the people who have had sex would have flowed up so.

I could see the ones, she could see who's done.

Yeah, because I was a virgin. But my number one fantasy when I was like seven, eight, nine, ten was that I would have a tape recorder and I could just press play and it would have recorded everything everyone's ever said about me, and I'd be like, Oh, I can't believe so and so said this about me, and it was all mean stuff.

I want to hear that.

It was always mean, I.

Think so yeah, but maybe it was like I just want to hear what people are saying about me, because you're just looking for an identity when you're young.

That's what people do. I mean, I have friends that still read all the comments and stuff. I don't know how they haven't killed themselves yet. Even I was talking to Rachel Findstein yesterday and she was talking about some clips she came across with me talking about my.

Dead cousin JD and she said it was so sweet. And she was like in the comments and I go, no, no, no, no, no, no no no.

She was like they were so you like helped so many people.

There were people in there saying me week sober and I needed this, and like it sucks that you have to miss out on those things because of it.

Okay.

This one is from Reddit's Psychology and it says good looking female students no longer get straight a's when classes become virtual, when the professor can't like maybe fuck them. Is that a real study, Yes, it's a real study.

I'll look at the good the great Equal.

Research and Psychology published in the journal Economic Letters. Who knows what that is, It reveals that attractive students tend to achieve higher grades in school. However, the studies suggests that this beauty premium disappears when classes are taught remotely, especially for female students.

That is, I mean, I mean you could have predicted that.

Data obtained from five different cohorts of engineering students from a Swedish university, resulting in a final sample of three hundred and seven students. Two of these cohorts attended a portion of their classes remotely. The content of these courses stayed the same, but lectures and seminars were conducted online an independent sample of whatever. They explain the study, but yeah, they discussed several reasons why physical attractivists might enhance productivity

I hate those like, yeah, I cannot stand those things where it's like they've got it so rough, like.

Give me a break.

They do have it rough in the sense that when they I will say, one thing, final song, when they do age, it is so much harder, and it is and they do question. A lot of people always go well, you're a pretty faci, you'll be fine. And they dismiss that these people have an emotional depth or intelligence that they do have.

So am I sorry for them?

No?

Because they're hot and they get everything. Yes, but do they struggle still? Of course, of course they do.

No, one would deny that.

I just don't like it when people use them being attractive as one of the things that make their lives hard, because that's not true. It's just not true. It may be worse when they get older, but it's just the world is so unfair when you see how varied people are, and some people get way more. I always hate it when somebody's like really good looking, really good athlete, really good musician, funny, and you're just like this, This world is not fair.

Yes, yeah, Taylor Swift. It's like to make Taylor Swift a lot of things. If she would have been born in a different country, under different circumstance, is perhaps into poverty, she would not be who she is. It has to be a mixture of like the talent, plus the loving parents, encouragement from your community, a certain time you were born in where the music industry is like, and then also a ton of hard work having a brain that's good at hard work. It's all a fucking crap shoot to get.

A tea swift Conan says about it.

What he's.

Where, He's like, He's like, you know, fifty sixty years ago, one hundred years ago, I would just be the town idiot in Ireland.

Like everybody'd be like, oh, there it goes, and the town idiot. He would have had nothing to contribute. There was no there's no need for him.

Or me nothing.

At least they had music back then.

You would have had a job. Noah, you would have. You would have produced something.

Like an assistant or something.

Assist you.

Thinking about what you would have been like in the Renaissance or the wild Wet or all these different.

Erasure I think i'd be a hand.

With a ton of children. Yes, I mean I would have so many different.

Yeah.

Well, as a woman, you know what you would have been nothing a mother and a housekeeper, that's all you would have been.

Or a witch.

I was told I was a male soldier your last life.

Male soldier.

Who wasn't It wasn't everyone and like that's ever.

Lived before us soldier, Like everyone fought like there was no getting out of that if you were a man anytime before seventeen hundred, you were fighting all the time.

I wanted to say that. Share this text I got last night from my sister to my family. Oh, I wanted to get to a couple of things, but this is uh she sent it to. Where is it? Sorry?

Noah, I know it's in our text or in the rundown. Okay, Oh, so it's such. It's my biggest fear.

I'm not kidding you. I have Everyone knows I have certain phobias. Air shows.

Yeah, two lane highways over thirty five miles per hour going directly at each other. Okay, add to the list which I have never even come across this again, except one time we went to a circus in fucking fourth grade or some shit, and it has been It is one of my biggest years. I don't even like to bring it up because I don't want people sending me photos of it or talking about it. But those cages that are circle with the motorcycles going round and round

I think it is when I see those it makes me think I'm so impressed with like humanity, like with the human race, like I cannot believe. First of all, somebody had that idea. Then somebody was like, well, I'll get in it in a motorcycle and I'll just go around. They're like, well, there's plenty of room in here for I don't know, two more motorcycles. And they're like, all right, well we'll come and practice it with you. It's insane.

You're so right, it's it fucking it doesn't make sense.

It doesn't make any sense, like all of it, none of it makes sense. And then when you watch it, you cannot believe that it is not a disaster.

It's perfect.

Will you google motorcycles motorcycle circus accidents because I want to know if there are any.

Because my sister Willy Nilly William.

Nilliam of Nothing Apropos of nothing, sends our group chat this video. I'm not even gonna look at it. And they are in a tiny little ball and motorcycles are going round and round, were back. They're at the circus, I guess, And she just sent that.

There's a bunch of okay circus performers crash during Globe of death, globe of terrifying moments, circus entertainers writing the Cage of Death died. It's just like a bunch the hamsters people just like being with the exception of like real feet of courage. I think this is the most impressive thing.

Do you want to go watch it? Would you like want to go see it? And you can just sit there and watch it?

Was part of it, was a part of it.

I want to die.

You could see the most impressive ever. I'm not kidding you.

You couldn't pay me ten thousand dollars to sit down and watch it for a minute. A live one, one that I knew wasn't going to crash. I could maybe watch like this video, I'm predicting. I only watched it for a second before I crashed. What about front row?

Sorry third row? At Taylor Swift?

What do you mean that's surprise?

If this was happening, I would not go I would never go see her again if she had this going on again, I don't even want to be I would.

Not even go for watching it.

You get no nothing, No, I wouldn't I'm not kidding you. This is the it gives me switching guy. So it's so weird that they sent this to me. So I wrote back, this is one of my biggest anxieties as a young girl up there with air shows. I'm going to send something that's just as upsetting to you.

Now.

So I know my mom and sister have tripophobia.

I don't know if that's the way to pronounce it, but it's it's If you google it, try p oh phobia you will see it's like the fear of little circles all together in a condensed area.

This is an.

Example of what I'm talking about. Oh yeah, it looks like rotting flash kind of. There's a reason why we don't like this kind of thing. But I sent them this like classic, like you know flower that has this going on and it makes you want to barf.

And I send it to my mom.

She goes no, and I go sorry, mom, and my dad goes the screw in the pond at the river ships they're pleasing. They're pleasing to me, Well that's weird because they definitely are unsettling to me as well. And my mom goes, oh, stop it, and I go sickening and then she put a big paragraph she went done to you know, space bar and she goes getting these off my screen by moving them up. It was just a fun moment of.

Uh trolling.

I didn't even know that was a phobia. I see those things all the time, those little plants with all the holes in them. Did you google typophobia and look at all the images? No I saw. Noah sent us a picture of that.

Oh yeah, those things make me sick too, because any just like circles, they are closely all together. Because it's the same as when like maggots eat rotting flesh and they like burrow in little holes. But it's also want I like planters worts because there's dots and I want to scrape amount and I want to get them and I want to maybe chew on them. But I'm never going to do that because it's a virus. But I what have I good? I do someday? Want to dig out someone's warta.

Have you talked about the meme the guy who's doing the memes for the podcast?

Oh yeah, we love him so much. He's killing it, killing it. Yeah right, yeah, this is like a dream come true.

I know, it's so fun to be memed and he'll take like clips from things I've done the show and like make them move and stuff.

It's so funny. His finger on the pulse of memes and this show and the show. It's like come true.

Yeah, I wonder who he is and I wonder if he has any other meme accounts.

I ever want to find out. Isn't a he? I mean, we have no idea.

Why do we assume I thought I was a woman?

Really?

Yeah?

No, I think it's a man one hundred percent, but I could be wrong. When we had you up, we had out of context now as an account, and that was I think her name was sqeeze.

She was great.

Okay, Okay, well we shall see reveal your tell us what gender you are or what you identify?

Stay a mystery, Okay, don't tell Chris. I won't tell him, but I want to know. Thank you guys so much for listening to the podcast. Chris, thank you for being here.

To thank Thank you so much. I really love being here with you guys.

Brian will be back in a couple of weeks. I think he's taking a couple of weeks off to get married. We're going to his wedding this weekend. We'll talk about that next week, but we have another show before next week, so we'll see you.

Tomorrow on the show. Thank you for da oh yeah.

And I have some tour dates on January or January June twenty fourth, I'm going to be in Highlands, California, I believe, and then I'm going to be in Vegas with David Spade on June thirtieth and July first, and then I have so many tour dates that I just announced, all new for the fall, Chicago being a very important one that I want to sell out desperately because it's

And yeah, don't be cut and just don't ever send me a picture of the kay to dot O don't please, don't. I'm serious, don't no, Okay, Senator to Chris, he loves it.

I do everything