The Nicki Gliser Podcast Niki Glaser.
Here's Nikki.
Hello, here I am it's a Nicki Glaser podcast. Welcome to it. Joining me as always, Brian Frangie. He's in Los Angeles. How's it going, Brian?
Hello, it's going fine. I'm doing fine. Everybody great.
Thanks for Yeah, your wedding is coming up very soon in a couple of weekends.
Oh yes, don't remind me. Anxiety levels are yes. If you want to get tickets to my wedding, you can go to our adam tickets dot com slash Brian's wedding. No, anxiety levels are at a high. Are at a high right.
Now, Let's talk about that a little bit because we also have Anya here from she's in New York. She's also getting married, So you're getting married. Sorry, Anya's getting married July ninth, yep. And Brian, you're getting married June sixeenth, seventeenth, seventeenth. So this and then Noah is also engaged in TBD on when she's gonna get married. But this is wild
that we have this, I mean, the randomness with what ages. Yeah, and then me who's like starting early stages of talking about that kind of stuff with her partner, Well.
You're getting married on August seventeenth, twenty forty eight, twenty twenty.
Did you never hear about that?
Obviously I can work with that date. That is like, that's honestly, this.
Is wait, did he I have so much to say? Did wry to say twenty twenty four?
No?
He said forty eight, twenty forty eight, And that is honestly a date I can work.
Okay, got it? That gives me no anxiety. Perfect.
We have so many things to talk about before we get started, though. I just want to say that the response about Brian has been overwhelmingly positive, almost one hundred percent positive. I see no no one said anything negative to me. I'm sure people are writing about it extensively, but I don't read that stuff. You guys know that, but no, I it was so it's so heartening to hear,
especially on my Girl's Chat. My best friend Kirsten, one of my best friends, she's on the Girl's Chat and she's an avid listener to the podcast, and she said that she just she did an impression of you yesterday. We should play it. I wish I would have like saved it because there's too much other talk on there that I can't just like randomly play stuff because people are crying about their lives and stuff on there. So
but she did cry about Brian's life a little bit. No, she just did an impression of you that was so sweet, because she's really good at impressions. But she said that she just loves I just trust her opinion. She would say nothing if it was like there was nothing to say, but she just said she thinks you're so funny.
And she's like such an arbiter of.
What's funny to me because she's one of the finnest people I've ever met. And she just likes your like tude and your mood and your and your dude you're dude, and she just likes she likes it, and she said so many nice things. And I know Noah was on that same chat. Did you hear that, Noah, didn't that make you feel good?
Yeah?
I'm trying to look for it now, But Okay.
I hear that impression because it would inform me as to like what I how I am view We don't want to it's important as a comedian to know like what how people view you.
Okay, well, I'll talk exactly at your pace right now?
Does this sound like you too?
You?
I mean, we need this on the podcast. I'm talking motor mouth over here.
I'm totally I have no idea how I sound or how it's supposed to sound, and I would love to.
Are you doing stand up right now?
Yeah? I got to show it tonight. I was in Arizona actually right now. Yeah?
Are you doing a bit right now? You were in Arizona this past weekend?
Yeah, I was in Tempea, Arizona this past weekend at the Tempe Improv.
Oh sweet, that's a good club.
Who are you opening for Adam Conover? Oh?
That's so fun because if you don't know, Brian wrote on Adam Ruins Everything, which.
Seasons two through the Find finale.
And then you also help him on his YouTube channel now, which is like blowing up.
Yeah, YouTube channel, he's got like six hundred thousand subs. All of his videos get a million views. Yes, and he's like, yes, a versioning star in the WGA negotiations. He's really because he's amazing. Yes, and uh yeah, and he also had the show that you were.
Where did you get that?
Oh?
Yeah, that's right?
That and you've got a really great story about that that we should get into it at some point. Let me just hold let me just ask you, because I don't know if I know the story. How did you You did tell us you've got a blind submission for the Adam Conover.
Yeah, you know, we did stand up together open mics and stuff in New York City back in the early whatever is the two thousand Tennis area?
I know we need a name for that.
Yeah, what the fuck can we please? I'm sick and tired of saying the early aughts.
Let's coin one whatever.
Someone says the early.
Makes sense, that's like two thousand and one to two thousand and eight, Yes, but then what are we calling two thousand and nine to two thousand twenty.
It sucks because if it was the nineteen hundreds, you could just say that was the twenties, that was the thirties, that was the forties. When we're in the.
Ten, why don't I say the tens.
Because two thousand ten nobody does the early two thousand tens, Like, what does that?
Why don't I say in the early tens, Because no one's talking about the twentieth century anymore.
I'm talking about nineteen ten.
All the time, cholera, automobiles, scarvy, we know.
Nothing, Okay, I found it.
I'm totally around in this conversation, but I think it doesn't matter. We need to be taken out of it.
Okay, so let's get us.
Betts Ky is on fire right now. I've had a perfect amount of latte, okay, which is one and a half? Okay, Well, here's any lattes.
Here's Kirsten's impersonation of Brian wondering about his wedding.
I'm real curious where Brian Franzi is getting married, Like where is the National Park?
I find him hilarious and I'm so glad that he is a part of the show.
I have a meaning to say that because.
I think it, and he's waits for the right time to talk, and yeah, between him.
And audiaving on it, it's like the best it's ever been. So thank you, thank you.
She's watching white asparagus.
Yeah, she's always like meal prepping. She's doing something of a woman of which I was. Okay, Brian, how did that make you feel?
That's so nice? And you know what I don't I've never met Kirsten, I don't think, but I do feel like I know her somewhat from watching the show on e Yes.
She's incredible.
I have a face to a name and a personality to a face and a name, and I I really appreciate that, And I'm going to compliment the complimenter for complimenting me. That makes me feel really good because I have a lot of self sometimes about, you know, doing stuff like this, putting myself out there and pretty much everything in general, and hearing compliments like that make me feel give me the confidence to continue. And it's just so it's just so important to me that someone would
say something like that. So thank you so much.
Oh that's so nice. I just watched a reel the other day or some tic. It was on Reddit because that's where I get my tiktoks. But it was a girl saying I never ever. She was kind of annoying, but which I should probably not say that based on what she said.
But she says, you'll see the irony of why I shouldn't have said that.
She goes, never keep a nice thing to yourself, only keep bad things to yourself. Never keep a nice thing to yourself, unless it's like nice boobs nightice ass. She never She's like gave an example. She was like, I was walking by a girl on the street and I saw her journaling, and I said, you know what, I am so glad I saw this day because it is a nice reminder that I need to get back into journaling. And then the girl goes, I actually haven't journaled for
so long. That feels so good to hear. This is gonna make me journal more. So she was like, by saying that, I not only reinforced what she was doing that she was doubtful of, and she's gonna journal more, but I'm gonna journal more. And I felt good. It was just like, Oh, that's we need to be I always called them drive by compliments. I started doing them
at Lollapalooza in like two thousand and nine. When I started going to Lollapalooza, I would like walk around, Yeah, the early tens, I would walk around, and because there's so many crowds and you're just walking through rivers of people upstream, I would just go like, nice bag, great legs, cool hair, nice hat, like and I would just do drive bys.
And so it doesn't have to engage in.
A conversation, but someone's just getting a little slit of a compliment, especially when you're going to something where people are being dressed to be seen, like a Coachella or Swift Cella, which is Taylor Swift Concerts. I was walking in those masses of people and I'm like, I know that I'm dying for someone to compliment my outfit that I've put thought into. Because everyone puts thought into their outfit at Taylor Swift Concerts. That why am I not
complimenting every single person who's outfit I liked? And so I started and it felt so good to do. But I do want to ask you to follow up Kristen's question what National Park? Because I kind of Chris has handled all of our travels, so I don't know exactly where it is and why did you choose that National park?
And what are we going to be doing?
I will answer that question. However, I have a comment about what you just said. Please but drive by compliment.
So like again, you your your choices of when to talk, like Christen said, are just genius.
No, they are.
It's good talking.
Yeah, I have waited till she has finished talking and now I am talking. And when you're doing striking and you have the WGA signs. You can write whatever you want on the signs, and a lot of people are like taking these signs personally and it is kind of like, well, I'm a writer, I'm writing on this sign. If this isn't a good fucking sign, then like, and you're surrounded by other people who could potentially hire you.
Got to compliment people's signs.
The AI signs, those are fucking awesome.
Traffic zones are like the Kardashunes.
People signs is a genius idea. And also you'd have to make sure your signs. So I wrote a bad one, Okay, so I feel very not because I thought it's so bad because I thought it was good. And then I
would be like, people be like, what's your sign? And then I feel like yeah, and then it's like, oh, it was this, and then I would get silence, Like I was walking with these two people who are like, uh, you know, more successful than me and there, and I was like, I wrote this sign, but it's I haven't seen it around lately, because you know, you leave the signs there when you leave, and they're.
Like, what, you can pick up your sign anyone, Like you just keep rotating signs and they say what did your signs say?
And I was like, it said two wrongs don't make a writer, and then just like now silence, Like.
It takes a minute to compute, but it seems to.
Sense compute is the right word. I think this is an argument for AI.
We need never realize now it's.
Funny that it's bad. It's honestly, you weren't. It's not you did not. You were not trying to be like prolistical, like you weren't trying that's the wrong word. I'm bad writer, But you weren't trying to be to write something that was going to like make people think. You were being ironic kind of and doing a pun obviously because your writer puns are the lowest common denominers.
So you were being funny by you. I see what you're doing.
It is funny in that respect, yeah, because you're trying to be a little honest.
I wasn't trying to be ironic. I was literally thought, what is wrong?
What is that?
I don't know?
AI is one of them and there's got to be and not getting paid a writer, you know.
I thought was interesting about the AI thing, which I didn't know until I listened to Justin Bateman on something or read something that.
She posted the w the whoever.
They're not even willing to talk about AI, right, isn't that there's like a stalemate about that, Like they just don't even want to talk about it or refuse.
To come to the table to discuss it because they say, we refuse to put limitations on a technology we might use in the future.
Right, Okay, But I didn't realize the problem would be that AI. Okay, so it's going to take people's jobs. That's the big that's the big issue. That is like front and center. But the truth is that even if that happens, and that's all legal and fine, AI will only be able to generate new material based on the material that it is fed from writers who have existed before. So writers need to be paid for the machines that
are going to use their writing. Not to mention they're going to lose their jobs, but like they should be compensated for like the stuff that's plugged into the machine.
I thought that was.
There's everything that exists.
Yeah, it takes everything that exists, it plugs it into the machine, and then it spits out a you know, a farcical uh you know, plagiarized version of a script that a writer would write and has no humanity in it at all. I really don't believe that AI is ever going to be able to replace writers in terms of that. But what it can replace, we got humanity
it can replace. If it replaces humanity, then it'll be great because then they'll be AI making stuff for other AI and that'll probably be a utopian society that would be better than we currently have.
But I saw a clip of Oh sorry, what what's your butt?
Well AI, so sag After is gonna has just decided they're going to do a vote on whether to strike or not. Also, and like A, I can definitely replace actors and actresses by just like they could take a likeness of you, Nikki. Like let's say you sign a contract and I'm gonna be doing this show and then you do tape for one day and they get all the angles of you, and then they can take your likeness and they can just have AI perform all the other scenes for you and you don't get paid for that.
And that's what f Girl.
Island will be once we get all the footage from f Boy three. Yeah, yeah, So that's they're gonna go you can go home early.
We've that is.
I mean, deep fakes are already so good, like you can kind of do that. I watch this one that someone made me, my friend Brian Monarch, who does deep fakes of like you'll often see like Joe Rogan and theovonn on different faces.
Brian Monarch is the guy behind those.
But he did one of me as Taylor Swift, and I watch it all the time because I go there and then there's me doing stand up is Taylor Swift face, and you just realize that Taylor Swift's prettier than me because I look weird on her face, and then she looks great on my face, and you just kind of go, oh,
we know what's going on here. But besides that, I love watching it because there's oftentimes that I watch Taylor Swift and or anyone for that matter, doing things with their fingers, young Korean children playing guitar, and you go, my fingers can do all of those things.
Those fingers are not.
I have abilities that mine don't why why. It gives me hope, but it also gives me a sense of defeat. Do you ever do that where you're like that person's body is no different than my athletes. You go, no, that's different. They've worked harder. But like guitar like schlovey guitarists, I'm just like, there's no muscle. There are muscles there that I'm not aware of, and you know, there's just more than anything, there's brain, uh matter that I don't.
Have irons connecting each other.
I watch Anya do like fingerpicking and like, I don't even understand. I mean I do because I have sense that practice leads to like memorizing things and all that stuff. But even when you're playing that one song A Through Street, which if you've never heard on your song not A Through Street, please spotify right now, pause the episode, go to it. It's one of my favorite songs. But the fingerpicking on that, you go like all up and down, and it's just so I'm like, do you do you?
It's when you play that song, is it is it a memorization thing like your body has memorized it?
Or is it like, oh, I know what I'm doing.
It's not hard. You could totally do it. There's just one part that's a little challenging. It's all about just memorizing, uh, Like patterns in my mind, like my fingers make this shape, then they make this shape. I don't know what notes. Right. I have the same thing with you when you're playing a Taylor swift strum that I don't know that I've talked about multiple times, and I'm like.
Yeah, the skill you don't have on the TI it's the only thing I have to my name.
It's very frustrating and I'm slowly getting it, and it does come with repetition. But man, you invested a lot of hours because you you're singing things at a different uh, you're doing a syncopated thing, which is really advanced, and you don't even know you're doing a syncopated thing, but it's incredibly hard for me. So nice it's like and patting your head at the same time.
Right, Well, I have that feeling a lot when, like, you know, normal everyday people say like the funniest thing I've ever heard that is not just like you know, the way they said it, or like a funny thing, like it's like actually like mathematically hilarious, where I'm like.
Oh, like two wrung make a writer.
That's mathematically Oh so then I mean, this is just this is just life. You know, I wrote, I just drew a picture of a pile of shit, and it fucking lit up the place. Everybody was like, ha ha, look at that.
Did it have any a caption with it?
It was a pile of shit. It just was a pile of ship with flies around it. And people were like, I love that.
You should go into art, not writing an animator.
Oh yeah, you are an animator. You do great animations. Was that decasting at all for you?
That you're like, wait, I barely tried on this.
So embarrassing when that happens when you when you get a compliment for something that took zero, zero effort, Like in writing, in preparing my new special that I'm going to tape this December and Seattle Watch Out, I am talking to Chris about all my jokes and he's like, well, you got to do this one, and I'm like, I hate that joke. Every time I tell it, I cringe. I don't like when people laugh at it because I didn't do anything to earn it.
I did.
It didn't take any brain power. It was it was my shit. You know, It's me drawing a picture of shit which I have drawn, and I've actually talked about drawing shit on stage. And that was actually one of my favorite jokes is when I talk about I think it was my last special. Maybe I cut it out, but I talk about how I'm less. It was something about being less scared of people finding nudes in my phone than if oh, I can't take a picture of
my shit. I've wanted to take pictures of my shit to like send my friends because they've been so impressive. And if I could just say for a second I had I did not really have a lot of exodus happening in my European trip. I have to go to break. I'm going to share with you something that happened this morning, and I want to talk about.
It, but I was really stuffed up all the break.
And then we're going to talk about shit when we get back, but I will not be graphic, and and maybe Brian will drop in sture of it. Okay, so we've got a lot of loose ends to tie up.
We're going to find out why you're having a wedding in the and then we let me just talk about So the observation I made in my special about shit was that I didn't want my nudes to leak but I'm more worried about if I've never taken a picture of my shit, even though there's been times where it's looked exactly like something like one time it looked exactly like mister Hanky, the shit from South Park, like it was him, and I want to take but I couldn't.
I couldn't because what if I'm what if someone finds my phone or it's been like especially huge, And I think the joke I made was like I could give birth out of my ass based on this, Like, and I've so Anya and I when we were living together, because I never want to take a picture of it, I would draw it. It's almost like, yeah, they I it would be better off drawing a picture of Mohammed than I would like the shit that I've there would be more damning for my reputation.
But do you guys ever have the thing?
So I was really stopped up in Europe, and I guess that is a common thing, like it's the travel bloat. Like I sent a picture to Anya of my stomach. She's some one back later I looked weirds once pregnant. I think we talked about this already, No, we did not, but I looked legit. Shivroy last episode of Succession six
months pregnant, and I showed Chris. I put a towel over it to show Chris because I couldn't have him see my actual but I was like, just no, underneath this, look look at me, I look pregnant.
He was just like, are you like?
He was still confused by it.
It is crazy what the body could do, and that it's just gas, mostly gas and water.
Well mine was material, and it was and then I thought, you know, by the end of it, I was like, you know, things are happening, things are flowing. There's like little things happening here and there, but there was nothing substantial. And I'm not someone who tracks like what's going on with my body very much, but the past two days, I don't know if anyone's ever had this. I woke up this morning with a horrible headache and it started
last night. And I've been kind of regular since I got back, which is my favorite word to say, I've been shitting normally. When people are just like regular, it's such a stupid word. It's like when people are like, we're trying and everyone's like, oh, you're getting cummed in every night.
Like it's kind of the same thing of like I'm regular.
It's like, eh, I just see like poop like coming out in a good amount of chunks coming out of your butt. So uh, I was thought I was regular. And then this last night I had like a headache. This morning, I woke with that headache. I couldn't get out of bed, and I was, you know, putting my eyemask on super tight so it would just push my head to make it stop. And then I went to the bathroom and I was like, oh my god, that was it. I was like, oh, this, that like solved
my headache. Then I went down to Starbucks and had a sip of coffee and I instantly was.
Like, what's the bathroom code?
And it is.
I try to memorize it because every time I always think I'm not gonna need it in my phone, but I should have put it in. I think it's oh, I remembered it sixty two twenty three, and you know how I remembered it. I was saying, that's like, just remember a disgusting age like a couple in Hollywood, like sixty two twenty three, Like that to me is just
like a gap that would happen. So I went in there and I had the best BM of my life, which is is on par with many I've had, but isn't the best one Where you're in a public space where you're like kind of worried about the plumbing situation.
And you're you're you're the eel that you release in the wild.
The electric eel goes right down the hole like it knows where its home is, like disappeared souse.
You love that when you.
Look in and it's like already on its way, and you're like, this is gonna be no issue, because the issue is always the breaking up of it, and then it's then it breaks and then it tries to go in twice like those designs try to go in.
We all know this.
This is a thing that happens some of the most most of us. But I was like, has anyone talked about the satisfaction when you look down and you go, oh, good snake, you.
Know where your home is. It's already like headed out the door. Is that relatable?
I always imagine like the like those Olympic divers and they have like the perfect dive, and that's what I related to.
Yes, Yes, it just slices through the water perfectly. There's gonna be it barely even there's no it doesn't touch the out. You could drop your phone in the bowl and if it just hit the sides, it wouldn't even touch the giant.
And aren't you kind of shocked and proud when like the kale is coming out?
Yeah? What do you mean?
Like it's like, like what's coming out of the hole?
Oh, I've never had that before, but I think in Europe I did a little bit, even though that my poops weren't big enough because in Europe that's where it would have happened, because the water level is so low in Europe toilets.
Yes, And you have another observation Berlin that you never saw because in Berlin apartments because we weren't in apartments, we were in hotels. But in the apartments in Berlin there is a poo shelf and there's no water, so when you poop, you poop on a shelf in the toilet and then there's like then it flushes. So it's truly disgusting because.
So it flushes, it comes from the water comes from the side of the bowl onto the shelf and pushes it down like a wall.
And do you know what the shelf was for? It had a practical poops for people to inspect for worms and stuff. So you're supposed to like go through your poop. It's insane. I went to my friends and I was like, oh, it smells the entire bathroom up. If it doesn't immediately.
A trophy shelf. It's for some of the things I've let go.
And I had worms in my poop in fourth grade and I remember seeing them and then they went back inside really quickly.
By the time I called my parents in, Oh god, And.
I remember being like, there were and I thought I was hallucinating because they would not come out again once they got spooked by my parents being there. They were party worms and they don't like parents around, and so they ran they thought the cops were coming. They ran back in the poop, and I was like, I know, I saw it. And then I made the dumb mistake of telling my friend Molly Collier and you're out there.
She's actually nice to me now, she's a fan. She spin at shows, but she I told her in fourth grade that I had worms in my poop, and man, then everyone everyone knew. By lunch or by recess that I had worms in my poop and then I had to deny, deny, deny, kind of like Kendall Roy in the final episode in one pivotal scene, not gonna spoiler, not even a spoiler alert, just giving you you got to get to it if you haven't gotten to it yet,
to get to it. But have you ever done that where you told someone something embarrassing when you were young, and then.
Well you denied, and then you pooped, and then you're like, everybody, look at my poop because the worms hide, and then of course the dumb worms would come out if you showed everybody yeah.
Or if you were yeah, if everyone go, look there's no worms, because you know they're going to hide, and then that's when they're like, hey, what's up.
I'm finally ready to come.
Out, like they're pride month for worms. Yeah okay, Brian, Why why the national park? We know you love the outdoors. Oh yes, your lady, Ali, But why this one?
And where are we going?
We are going to Rocky Mountain National Park in Colorado, right, okay? And that's also where I proposed And yeah, Ali and I have this thing where we want to go to all sixty three national parks before we die?
Before we die? Yeah, how many do you have?
Over twenty? Over twenty? Yeah, oh that's good. You can die soon, yeah, I've Yeah, maybe I shouldn't go that fast.
Lesson, are you getting married outside? Are you when?
Are you starting to look at the weather, like is it that far out that you can start kind of seeing.
Mountain two weeks?
Mountain weather is unpredictable, but I kind of hope, you know, the mountain weather, really I don't. I hope that it rains. Honestly, I love the rain. I think it would be great if it rained. It's outside, but it's a coming.
Really seems easy going, like she wouldn't care if it rains, and she'd look like hot and rain.
Yeah, I think, yeah, she she would. She wouldn't care. I think she's like prayin too. Thank you, thank you very much.
You got a good one.
When you say that on the podcast, you know she listens to the podcast, and when you say she's pretty, it like makes her weak.
Oh my god.
If she doesn't know she's she's one of the prettiest people going, like naturally effervescently, a beautiful person like Chris and I are pretty obsessed with her, and she's just she's just a lovely person. I'm actually really looking forward to, like going on trips with you guys as couples and getting to know her more and better because she's just an instantly fun person.
I first met her.
I think maybe I met her before Tim's wedding, but that's when I first feel like I got to know her.
No, we went to we went to a breakfast brunch thing at the Sunset Junction. Lizzie Cooperman was there, Yeah, Chris was there.
Not an ideal such.
Yes, I think I was in like a funky mood that day, and I've been in some funky moods around her. Actually, even when we went to dinner at that cow. I think it was, Oh, you feel like you if you're listening, I apologize for my mood that night.
Oh, like I was in a bad mood man?
Really, Yes, Oh I was.
I'm not. I don't think I was. I know I was. I was.
I was depressed that day and I was being kind of like existential dread nikki of like I don't even like my life, Like I was just being a bitch. And then I think it was probably triggered by how pretty she was. And I was feeling fat that night and she just looked and she got like all this food that I was like, man, she just is one of these girls that can eat what she wants and like she just looks great, like just me at my worst.
And then I and then I knew Chris. I felt bad because it was supposed to be like couples having a couple of dinner and like getting to know each other. And I'm just morose and I'm not being rude, but I'm just being I'm just in a bad mood. And and then I felt bad because I know that I wasn't my best for that. And it was like I think that Chris was was wanting it to be like this is we're going to be this foursome, you know, this is the quad, the reference succession, and I felt like I blew it.
And then I felt like we.
Were deemed it on the street though, because we talked to you about some ideas.
This is mind blowing, how because.
What was this like the early times?
This was no, this was November December, yeah, it must have been January.
Okay, I was here. It was before Brian was on the podcast.
Yeah, you guys were just visiting. You as were just visiting, and maybe this was when you were doing uh real a fortune or something. I don't know, Yes, exactly I was.
We weren't.
This wasn't in our Santa Monica trip where we were living there. This was a separate visit when I was just at a hotel down the street. So yeah, he was there visiting.
Yes, this this is a lesson to everybody listening. I'm sure this happens all the time. Because I left that dinner thinking that I was a piece of shit and I felt like I wasn't at my best because I had gotten my tooth extracted six days prior to the dinner.
You were in pain.
I was in horrible pain. I just felt like I wasn't anything. I couldn't get anything. I asked the wait I can't have to ask the waiter what's the softest food they have?
But that was funny. You brought levity with your pain.
But this is the lesson. This is the lesson. After that dinner, I was in the car with Alli and I was like, was I just a piece of shit all night?
Oh?
And she was like no, No. I was like it just didn't feel like you know, usually when the the four or the three of us, ALLI wasn't usually there, but when the three of us hang out, it feels just very easy, comfortable and easy. And that night I was like, I think I was a piece of shit. No, it was me, man, Yeah, you were picking my vibe.
I was.
I will take responsibility for that because you were in pain, and I'm sure there was something off about you, but I was not having I was not yes ending that night, and it was on me, and I like, I've been pretty reflective this morning. I was doing some journaling about my mood disorder that I clearly have, and like that reared its head in the international trip like literally a thousand times. I just there's an email coming to you, Anya at one o'clock because I have this new feature
on Gmail that everyone should do. If you're writing on your phone, you hold down the send button and then it gives you the option to send later and pick a time. Yeah, and it's so great because I wanted to send this. I wrote this whole email to Anya, just you know, going over our trip, a post mortem
if you will, and just thanking her. But I was also like being reflective of like all of the shit, like all the shitty things I did on the trip, because I was like pretty like not great sometimes, I you know, and and there was nowhere for me to like usually and I'm not making excuses, but I am usually I have alone time to cry or to like really panic and like kind of vent, not even cry because I don't really cry when I'm alone, but like being alone, I guess helps me just let it out
in whatever way. But I was never alone because I was with Crystal whole time, which is great because I wasn't like abusing food with for my feelings because I
was accountable. I wasn't like there were so many great things about living with someone, and in fact, Chris and I decided like we want to live together after this trip because there were those great things spoiler alert, but I but I do think that living in small hotel rooms where there's not separate rooms and places for you to get away and have a loan time, because when we had that in like certain areas we now falcony, even.
If you Todd had separate rooms, like no time to do any it.
Just my feelings got constipated and so I was cranky and bloated the entire time. None of my clothes fit, which is the number one time for Nikki to I hate to talk to the third person, but for me to feel bad is to be uncomfortable in my clothes.
None of them fit.
And I made the mistake of I have this amazing stylist here in Saint Louis who hooks me up with She writes companies on my behalf and has them send me stuff and then I post and tag them and then we send them back.
And I've talked about this.
They're all sample sized twos, but I didn't try on any of the outfits before I went because I was like, I'll be fine, you know. And then I get there and I have nothing to wear except these clothes that are all too tight and make me feel insane.
And meanwhile I can't poop. I'm bloated.
I just and I was like under the impression that Europe is supposed to make you like diuretic or whatever, but it didn't happen for me, and so I was just like a moody bitch and like I really and I don't think I'm alone in this.
That's why I'm sharing it.
Like I don't think this is something unique about me or I'm a bad person, But like I when I get in a bad mood, I want to make other people in a bad food too, Like I want other people to feel mad or to feel to feel like I feel.
What is that?
And why do I don't think everyone does that because I don't have it happen to me from other people all the time. But like, what is that need to bring? Why don't I want to absorb some people's happiness instead of bring people down with me because.
I don't want Yeah, you're looking for affirmation. You want I feel this way, and if other people don't feel this way, that means I'm a psychopath and so I need adds to it.
And you know what I say about psychopath? Am I crazy? I'm so weird? Why can't I be like other people?
We're also harder work to feel better, it's easier.
And when you're feeling sad, your your muscles are like you're you're emotionally weak, like you can't do the hard thing, and it's easier just to do the worst thing, which is just stay in that mindset and like make little jabs that, like you know, aren't specific enough for that person to go like fuck you, but like, are shitty enough that they feel bad, Like.
I'm probably a kind of expert at that.
Yes, yes, we talked about muscle memory in the first segment, and because you've done it so much, it's just like muscle memory now, so I'm like unwired that it is really difficult with.
A guitar, except in mindes with you know.
It feels so good to keep digging and digging deeper and just piling on. That's it almost feels like indulging in, like eating a bunch of food, or like, uh, we're staying in bed, Like if you wake up in the morning, you just stay in bed. Like it's so easy to just keep doing that. And something I learned recently is that you can fake being happy, all right, you can fake it. You can smile, you can just even if it's like to psychotic degree of being like I'm happy.
This is amazing, Oh my god, this is the best thingy ever. And the trick is that will not make you feel better that day, but it will make you feel better two days from them.
Oh, it's like exercise or like eating right. Why doesn't it just show up right away?
I gotta try that.
I don't know if that's true.
Can I tell you about a book I'm reading a third of right now that I'm so into, Yes, and this is legit. I know that I've felt this way about a lot of books, but I stand by all the ones that I said, this is good. This is kind of talking about the same kind of thing that I There was a book I was reading a long time ago.
Let me just I forget what it was.
It was probably last summer, and it was about manifestation and quantum physics and how if you imagine something enough. It's also Louise Hey. I've talked about her, just like the power of positive thinking, and obviously this has been talked about extensively everywhere you look. But this book that I don't know why it was in my library on my phone, but I think I just download books sometimes from the subreddit books.
It'll say like, what's a book that's changed your life?
And I just anyone who has a list that I think is compelling, I'll just download all those samples of the books. And so one day I was looking for something to read, and that day, being on the way too, on the way to the Europe trip. I was reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, which, by the way, is was everyone read in twenty fourteen or sixteen when it came out.
It's so good, you guys, I know, it's kind of ki and.
It's like the set of like the amount of people who like commented on my book and were like, Oho, that's a funny title, Like how did were you asleep?
In twenty sixtey?
This was everywhere, but they but it it really and the guy kind of it's in a co way, but it's very conversational and he's not ka.
The book is not ca.
They made him call it that, like the publishers were like, you should call it that. He wanted to call it something else. So like just like my show Not Safe with Niki Laser, which that name was so cuh and I didn't like it at all because it made it seem like what.
I'm doing is not safe.
We wanted to call it NSFW, just like not safe for work, like this is stuff that like you shouldn't watch it work, and it wasn't us being like we're so nuts.
Safe for work.
But then they were like, no one knows what NFW means, them being Comedy Central, and they weren't wrong. Some people didn't know, but they would have googled it or something. It doesn't matter anyway, they made us call it not safe, and I hated it because it sounded like I thought I was sweet, and I don't think I'm sweet. Sometimes I do, but I'll usually attest to it. Then I did not think I was sweet, So I hated that title.
So anyway, don't judge a book. But this book I'm reading now, it's called The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murray PhD and then Comma d D.
I don't know what DD is Dungeons.
And dragonstor dentistry.
Oh yeah, I don't know.
But it's it's it was written in the sixties, I believe, or maybe the early seventies, but probably sixties, and it's it's the language kind of the way it's written is kind of new age and kind of kind of like it just sounds like some guy who thinks he's pretty sweet. But it is all about and it's just what I love about it is you get everything you need from the first chapter and then it's just repeating it over
and over. And I love a book like that, because what that tells me is this is simple, but what is difficult is getting it through your fucking skull. So I like a book that's not like this is all these steps. It's like, what is difficult is not what we're doing. It's what it is forgetting all the stuff, you know. And that's the same thing my voice teacher said yesterday. He was like, singing is not hard. People think it's hard, but what is hard it's psychological. What
is hard about singing. He's like, most people could be good singers. He was like most people besides like Harvey Fires who actually has a throat thing like both of his vocal like all of his vocal folds are.
Filing at the same time.
So he always said like this, He was like, that guy can never sing good, but most people can sing. What gets in the way is trying too hard. And what you need to do is learn how to to not try, which is hard in and of itself, but it's actually you have to learn to not do things.
And that's what this book is about.
It's about just positive thinking, like how you have to just anytime you have a negative thought, just don't say it out loud, don't give it. I've said yesterday on the Girl's Chat, don't put air in that balloon, like just you know it's there, have the thought, but like, don't feed that dog. The dog that's like, ah, like don't like, don't feed that possum.
Let starve.
But the thing that I like about is that you because it talks about how it can heal. And it's also quantum physics y, which I always like, but it's not actually talking about that, but it's the same things
as the other guy talked about. That really sold me on how manifestation is a science and it's not just like fufu woo woo God shit, and this is all about God and how people pray things away and how prayer works, not because necessarily God is doing things for you, but because your subconscious mind is what is running everything in your body. It's the thing that's keeping you breathing. You're not like thinking like I have to breathe right now, you know, like it just keeps your heart beat going.
All these things, your subconscious mind is in control, and your conscious mind is giving directions to your subconscious mind all the time. And your subconscious mind is kind of autistic in the sense that it takes you literally. It does not have a sense of humor, it does not have a sense of irony, So you have to tell it. Have I said this before on this podcast? Yeah, sorry, sorry to repeat myself, but I think it was like it.
But I'm getting in again and again.
I'm sorry to do it again, but I'm so on board and I do think there's something to this. I'm resisting it so much because it's so it's exactly what we're just talking about. It's the harder thing to do, which is just not feed that dog and feed those negative thoughts because you want to so badly. But the more I read about this, it's like prayer works because you are trusting that God is going to take care
of it. The people that prayer works for where they heal things about their body, things that they could never heal. It's not because you know, necessarily God is waving his magic wand and a miracle is happening. Your subconscious mind is your conscious mind is saying, please, God, take this away, and it's believing that God is taking it away. People that really believe there's a guy that's like I care about you, and I'm going to take care of you.
They believe it so much that you send a signal to your subconscious mind that is not doesn't have any sense of like does any make believe or that you would ever be lying to it, And it actually runs with that and then starts the healing process and it works on a cellular level of all this. You know, the way that you are breathing right now, and you don't have to tell it to breathe. It will start
healing these things. And it can work for ailments, and it can work for talent and artistry or a thing.
You know.
I've just been going, like, my body rids the energy that it doesn't need and keeps what it does.
And this is my new weight loss plan.
I am like, instead of because I've been like trying to tool with like maybe I'll try to get on nozepic, maybe I'm gonna start starving myself again. All these things, I've just been like kind of gambling with myself. But instead I'm just telling myself, my body uses the fuel it needs and it gets rid of the fuel it doesn't. It doesn't keep around things it doesn't need, and that to me is what being the right size is is. Like I don't want to. I just want to be
the right size for me. I'm feeling a little bit bloated right now and to get to that right size, which I have been before, and I've been healthy at that size. I'm just telling myself, I am a beautiful, long slender.
Lady, which I am.
I'm a tall lady that has long slender features, and that is just who I am, and that is who I will. I'm just saying saying that to myself over and over. I'm not saying I am Kate Moss. I am you know things I wish I were that my body can't be necessarily. I'm just sending the messages of something that I know is within the realm of possibility for me, and I'm telling my body like this is what I am. And I'm also telling my body I'm one of the best singers that's ever lived. I'm one
of the greatest comedic minds of all time. I am the voice of a generation. I am telling myself things that I let me just sneak it in, don't really believe, but no, I am saying them over I'm just saying that just because I don't want anyone to think that I think these things, but I want to be these things. And so I am telling myself that I am because you the key what I've learned, And if anyone knows
more about this than me, please enlighten me. But the key is not to say what you want to be and be like, I want to be the best singer ever. I want to be the best singer ever. Like writing that over and over or you know, meditating on that, it's I am.
I am right, the best singer ever.
It goes beyond just like make forcing your subconscious do it. You need to have that attitude. It is a requirement in order to become the best singer ever or the best comedian ever. Because the way the world views you is only fifty percent on talent, then it's fifty percent on confidence. And you need to have that aura about you that says I am the best and I know it. Are you stupid because it seems like you don't know it yet. That's the way you become the best.
I'm scared of being that though. Let me be honest, I'm scared of being that dilute. Let that person that I know who's delusional. I want to feel again like I want to approve of myself. I want to know my limitations and be okay with them. But at the same time, You're right, I do. I do want to be the best singer in the world, which I'm never going to sound like Beyonce.
I don't think or Adele.
I don't think my head shape or my vocal chords are shaped in the way to ever.
Be that way.
But I think Taylor Swift is my favorite singer, one of my favorite singers, and she does not have the same voice as a Kelly Clarkson or an Adele or a powerhouse of like Ariana Grande, and I think she would even admit that. But her voice to me is something so special that I would trade in all of those girls for her voice any day, because it's it's perfect to me. And so I think that that is. Yeah, I think that's what I'm getting at. And it's so
hard to do though. I gotta say that maybe this is why I'm repeating it on here is because I I when I first read it, I was like, this is what I'm gonna do every morning. I'm gonna write one hundred times over. I'm the best singer in the world. My body rids itself of energy that it doesn't need. It keeps what it needs. I'm a slender, beautiful young woman.
My face is not falling off my skull like I was gonna say all the things like you can't am or like gravity will affect my face in a beautiful way, like I'll say, whatever it.
Is, nuttle bit of the I uh, my body rids itself of things it doesn't need. There's too many negatives in there. It should be my body only keeps what it needs like something like that.
Yes, okay, yes, you're right, that's good. Keep it positive. That's a good point. And I was like, I'm gonna do this every morning. It's been a struggle for me because I've been waking up feeling not like that, and I've given into not having those thoughts, and I've I've given into the negative thoughts, and I've been like kind of blowing up those balloons. Even though I'm reading this book knowing and I know for sure this works. I have no question. I'm as sure as there's no free will.
And you guys all know how I feel about that. I'm positive this works. I've never been so positive of anything in my life yet. I'm still struggling to use it. Brian, have you been on you? I know that Noah and Anya know about the power of positive thinking.
Why aren't we all doing this all the time.
Because of the pharmaceutical industry they want to make money off you by giving you pills. Everyone. Capitalism just tells you you're not enough, and we have if for fourteen ninety nine a month, we have the solution your problem and it takes five seconds. People are too lazy, They just they don't want to do.
How do I get it?
Apple TV? You know that's all you need?
Oh right?
I mean whatever it is like, you know, you could take a pill, or you could go to this person or whatever they're selling, or you could just buy this hamburger and you'll feel better for five seconds. That's what capitalism is. It's it's creating needs in you, saying you're not good enough, you don't have this, and you need all of these products.
Yeah, you stink, you're disgusting.
You're a piece of shit.
Yeah, why don't you do it? Do you do? You do a lot of positive stuff, But like.
I think human beings are I keep doing We're complicated. We're not all positive. So we have a lot of this darkness, and that's why we probably don't do this stuff every day because the dark voices are always there, and it's just a practice. It's like yoga, you know, every day you try to turn the volume up on the affirmations and the positive stuff and turn the volume
down on the bullshit. So much of what I what was what was ailing me was I was believing my thoughts and then I realized my thoughts are not facts. It's just like an angry guy in there. That's like, you know, the cool thing about affirmation or like dreaming, daydreaming, fantasizing, visualizing what you'd like. Uh, I think that that's so power, prayer, whatever you want to call it is. The reason it's so useful is sometimes you haven't even thought about what
you want. You're just thinking how much you don't like what you have? Oh the sacks? Why is this this way? I hate my voice, I hate my partner, I don't like where I live. And then if someone's like, what what do you want in.
A perfect world?
Like my experiment about let's say a phone rings and you pick it up and your dream is on the other end of the phone. They're like making this job, or you're gonna move here, or you're gonna be dating so and so. What is the phone call saying? Like when you write down wow, or you visualize the dream, it's hard and sometimes you realize it. Fuck, I don't know what I want. I don't even know what I don't know.
What I want.
My mom has said that to me my whole life, you don't even know what you like. When she's holding up two pairs of shorts for me to like wear to school and we're at Famous Bar and she's shopping and I'm doing that thing crossing my arms and she goes, Nick, which one of them?
Do you want to get these or this one? I'm like, I don't know. She was like, you don't even know what you like?
And I that's another That's another struggle for me. Is like Chris talking about what's our five year plan? Just imagine what you want in ten years? And I'm like, more of this. I don't know.
I don't I don't know. But what about that phone call?
I want to hear what if we had to, if you have to choose right now that a phone is gonna ring and on the other end is going to be what is it?
Anya? It's like asking you something, or.
It's like, guess what this information? She got a job by SNL or you're okay, he's doing a movie with Judd Apatower.
So it rings.
First of all, I'm not going to answer because I'm gonna be like, who the fuck is this number?
And your ringers off.
Miss and it goes to voicemail, and it's like, hey, what is your dream? If you have a chance, and you please call me back because I have a lot of good things.
My voice mail is full, so it just doesn't even get through. Okay, Brian, what is your call right now?
Ring? Ring?
Ring?
Ring? Ring? Hello? Oh, and I have to say I'm you, I'm you. Hello. Hey listen, Brian, you just this, Oh this is your dream calling you? Uh listen, you just sold a cartoon to Fox or Pulu or something, and uh, you're going to be the creator and showrunner of your own cartoon.
Oh my god, that's a good one. Okay, guess what can you.
This is not outlandish to mean, don't know it at all at all.
I'm like, well, that's what I'm asking is do you have scripts out there to the could that happen? Could a script get into the hand of someone that could call you and say that.
Yeah, I mean I did sell a show once, but it just didn't get picked up the series. So it's I'm I'm close enough, but I uh yeah, you know. I it's just so hard.
That's so God man, your dream stresses me out. If that call came in, I'd be like I got to come up with an idea and I got to like learn how to draw, Like I love that someone else's dream could be my like kind of like uh stressful thing, But I love that dream for you, and that is so gonna happen for you and even you putting it out here like this, there's maybe someone listening that's like works in you know, uh what's it called talent development?
Or like, you know what what is it called when companies are looking for scripts and stuff?
Oh, there's a production company development?
Sorry, development, there's someone working in television development that has some sort of now is a little bit inquisitive of like what's the sky I have to offer? Because yeah, and where could we send them to go check.
Out your stuff?
No, I do. I would love to write your Instagram. I go to my Instagram at Brian Frangie. But I would love to have one day. This is not like my dream, but I do want to have a coffee table book about apples. Yeah, okay, that seems pretty easy.
That's the next call. Yeah, that's the text that you get.
Okay, We're going to get to the rest of our calls after this break, and I would implore you guys to think of this yourself and maybe call into the show and let us know what you're u And you can find that at our Instagram underneath our bio in the in the biopart, there's a link to a place where you can leave us a fantherex message and.
Tell us what your call is. This is so fun. We'll be back with more. Okay. Noah, ring ring ring, it's your dream calling.
Hello Noah, yeah, Hi? Can you speak louder I can't hear you.
Are you there?
Hello? Yeah?
One second please, I just need to close out these windows right here.
And yes, Hi, it's uh noah, noh. We have great news.
You have land with a farm and cows and horses and all the animals that you've ever dreamed of. It's all paid for. You won't have to pay property taxes, either it's all yours?
Oh whoa? Okay, So Noah's dream is to inherit land with cows. What else was on it? Horses?
Chickens?
And where is this? Okay? So wow, this sounds great. Where exactly can I ask? Just can I ask a few questions?
Is that?
Okay? Yeah?
Of course? Okay? The rest of your life? Exactly? Is this farm?
Uh in Arizona where there's really comfortable weather all year long?
Okay?
Wow, well this is really great and I'm just gonna need a couple of days to think about it.
There's gonna be dogs and cats. Do we say that?
Oh?
Oh wow? Will they get along? It sounds like it's two animals that don't get along. I'm thinking of all the problems.
This is my inheriting land and getting a cartoon that I have to produce.
I'm sorry to make it.
About me, but I'm thinking, like, I love that other people's I love that everyone's dream is so different. You want to have an animal sanctuary? That's that's that sounds so good? Noah, I want to go visit it. That does exactly a wing for birds pun intended. Yeah, I can't either. When he retired, I was like that is my dream. I want to be able to retire and just like save animals, we should we should collapse on that because I want to have Yeah, I want to.
I also would love whenever I see these videos online of like cows playing with balls and like birds flying around and being friends with other fishes and stuff like it's that's so, that's so great. Okay, so that is a great call. I don't know how you're gonna have the property tax part of it.
It's all paid for in the dream.
Yeah, someone is gonna like leave you something like this is totally plausible. That's someone who you're a nice person. No, no, no, no one in your family. That's that's not gonna happen for you. But like Jesus, you know someone is gonna encounter Noah and be so touched by her like overall generosity and spirit that you're gonna be one of these people that has left something just from like you being kind of being like, oh, sir, your shoe is untied instead of and being like I know it is. They're
gonna be one. Thank you so much. Let me put you in my will and give you all this land. Okay, Ring ring, Ring.
Hello, mate, it's Anya.
Yeah, I'm doing you, and then you're your dream.
Hey, you know that song even fucking toiling over for months, it's gonna be in the trailer for this thing. And you're gonna be independently wealthy because, uh, you and your co writers will split two point five million dollars and you can finally buy that house that you want with the dream kitchen, and your parents are going to live close by, and you'll live in the same city as your friend, so you won't have to do this podcast on zoom and all your friends and family will be close by.
I just tell you, like, I'm not even joking. I first of all, I love this dream. But the other day, Chris and I were talking about moving in together and then eventually like getting a house if we get married and all these things, and I was like, you know, we're talking about where we want to live, and I'm like, I want to live and I love living in Saint Louis, but I was like, I got to get a friend here, like I need a friend here that I can see every.
Day, like I need it.
And I was like, I'm gonna work on convincing Audien move to say Louist.
Really and so yes, we're open.
So we're open to I know, and Chris goes really and I go, I think they're open to it, and I'm like, I think I can sell them on it. I'll just like see what I can do. But I do in your dream as well, because it's part of mine. I like need to live close to a friend.
That's the thing everyone that is so useful about this because I don't even know exactly what my dream is. I just know generally I want to be close to friends and family.
Don't know how that's going to happen, but you don't have to know.
But just by articulating it, something in your subconscious mind kind of like revs up a little bit, and then you start making choices in your life that are slightly different because now you kind of know the feeling you want to have, like I want to have the feeling of being close to friends, or like doing the podcast in the same room, or like having my parents down the street. Don't know how it's going to happen, but it just I think it affects your choices in small ways.
It's not magic, you know what I mean, But it just gets you thinking in a different way.
Okay, here's mine. Wait what Brian.
No, I was just going to ring the phone. But I do want to say it's also important. It's not just thinking in the same way. It's when you do this phone call conversation, it generates a feeling inside of you. It's a feeling of what you would feel like when you did have success with your subconscious Braine, is.
Your subconscious mind that you're getting it, and then your subconscious mind makes it happen.
So often you start feeling more worthwhile and worthy. Like when I was trying to be in a happy relationship and I was painfully single and sad and dejected. I would do that in the mirror every night, like as if the guy I liked, my dream partner was saying all the things I'd ever want said to me. And at first I couldn't come up with anything. Then I was like, well, how could you have a dream partner
if you don't even know what you want? But then it was like, I love you, I have your back, You're the sexiest person I've ever met in my life, like things that sounded ridiculous, but I'm like, you said it out loud, yes, And then I started in the mirroring yeah, and then I'd be like this is so awkward and weird, but like, why is that crazy?
Where did you hear to do that?
A friend of mine was like, you should do some affirmations, like tell yourself all the things you want your dream and you got it. And then I started going to bed at night instead of crying myself to sleep. I had the feeling that I was in love and I was having amazing dreams, and I was like giddy and like I had this crush feeling and I was like this feels bad, Like this feels like I'm getting away with something like doing drugs. I was so high off
this feeling. It fucking worked. So if you're in that situation in your life, try that for a couple nights in a row. Tell yourself the things you wish your dream partner would say to you. No one ever has to know. You never have to say it on a podcast.
You don't have to, but like, it's so nice that you did, because it is embarrassing all these things, like doing them alone or like that's why it helps this phone call thing, to like do it as a podcast. This is like content, so it doesn't have to be as embarrassing. And that's where I ask you to call in, because I'm asking you to do it so you don't have to feel.
Bad about it.
Okay, Hello, Hi? Is this is this Miss Glazer?
Yeah?
Hold on, I got my sleep mouse?
Who is this? Wait?
Hi?
I'm actually this is urgent.
I don't it won't take long, I promise you, and and you can think about it and don't worry.
This is not going to you. You aren't. You don't have to do anything right now about it. That's my dream.
Is someone's starting back with like you don't have to get back to this right away.
Okay.
Taylor Swift has heard about you and your love of her music and appreciative appreciation of her music, and she is really looking to mentor someone musically to take them
to through the process of being a singer songwriter. And she really thinks, based on what she's heard from you and what she's seen of you, that you really have what it takes to be a great singer songwriter and that she can really help you through that process, and she wants to be your mentor and is inviting you to come out on the road with her and just be a part of the experience, and she'll try to help you write off stage, and she really also wants
some of your comedic input in her own life. And I think that she artistically thinks she could both benefit each other very much. And then eventually we'd like to work towards a place where you can, you know, a debut, you know, do be featured on a song of hers on a future album, and then share the stage with her at some point in a future concert if you work hard enough and you get to the point where she thinks you're deserving of that.
I love this. No one knew this. What not really?
This is.
Like not to this degree.
You never wanted to meet her, Like Chris, don't meet her until she wants to meet you, Like that's that's the ticket, is like, you don't meet her.
We heard that from someone famous. I forget who.
Chris could remind me, but he said, don't because I think I have a chance to meet her this weekend, and I'm gonna turn it down because I just don't want. I want to meet her when she wants to meet me, and because I'm going to see her this weekend. Sorry to people who haven't been able to go to aras yet. I know this is getting annoying, but in Chicago I'm going to see her with my mom and then another night,
two nights. But yeah, I just feel like I think my last time we did this and the girls chat this phone call thing, my dream was like her asking me to be in a music video, but that would be like me being like funny in it, and I don't really want to do that, Like I wanna. I like what Pariglia did in her music video.
I thought that was so awesome.
I would have loved to be asked to do that, but I want I want to I want her help in becoming an artist, even though like and I want her.
Approved.
I guess it would be or like I want her to see something in me and be like, you've got it, girl, you know something like that. I think that's why that whole thing was about, like she's noticed that you have what it takes, but that you might need some assistance, and she's going to help you because I acknowledge that what I want I need a lot more help on. So I think what I've learned from my from this test is that I I'm still about the hard work
of it. All, and I don't want like a simple fix, but I want to earn something.
But I want Yeah, I want. I'm open to help.
So what did you when you were saying that and you were doing the phone thought, how did you feel? What were the feelings that manifested.
Like, Yes, I get to go do something and like be a student again and be a novice, and I get to clearly I'll be paid well and taking care of on this tour, so I don't need to worry about money. I don't need to be worried about taking like I love doing comedy and gigs, like I'll never stop doing that, and I would probably still do the
podcast on tour with her. But it was like there was a feeling of like youthness, of like youthfulness, of like newness, like when you're learning something new or you're embarking on this thing that's like scary.
There's like there was.
A feeling of the feeling I had in my early twenties like pursuing comedy, of like I don't know what this is, this is crazy, or like and of like approval like uh, that you're on the right track and that this thing that you're kind of throwing yourself into and have a lot of self doubt about is is validated by the person that you care so much about. Uh and and like, you know, like Jerry Seinfeld telling
me I was funny. I was like, okay, got it, I'm good like now, And for many months I was like very like I was riding that high, you know. And Anya even had to remind me in Europe like remember what Seinfeld said, Like you're funny, Like you don't need to question that, And but I do, because I listened to clips of Tim Dillan, and I'm like, how how can I think I'm funny when there's Tim Dillan, which, by the way, he is a book coming out. I'm so fucking excited about it. It's he's I think I
heard him on your mom's house. I was listening to clips this morning. I don't know if I was cutting with them or I was like trying to be inspired. It's hard to tell when you're listening to someone you admire so much, like whether you're like trying to make yourself feel worse about it. Clips are cut, by the way, meaning they're edited. I get that, but still off the dome. He is so he's one of the he's just superhuman.
And I and the fact that I'm even able to acknowledge that and know that makes me feel special, Like I know that I'm talented because I'm able to know that Tim Dillon is the best.
Like clearly there's something.
It gives me self esteem to know that I know for sure he's the best. But he's shared in this Your Mom's House clips was so funny. It's the one where he's introducing his book. You can find it online. I think it's like Tim Dillon Clips is like the YouTube channel. But he's talking about how his dad like one time told him like, you know what's good about you? He was like, I was smoking cigarettes with my dad
at the age of like well in his car. Yeah, Like he was like, and you know he told his dad told him, you know what's good about you, like meaning there's one thing he finally found it. He goes, you never smoke him down to the filter. He always leave something. He goes, that's what's good about you. And
it was making me last word. But then he also said that his dad used to always like kind of say things like there's always gonna be someone who can do what you do, You're never that special kind of like always cutting everything with like, no matter what you achieve in life, there's someone who can do it, like kind of the way I think about myself, of like anyone can do this. It's not that I'm not special, and in certain ways I am, But I said, I tend to see things pretty like it's about hard work,
it's about luck. It's just like, don't don't get on your high horse too much. And his dad would say that, Tim, and I'm like, it's so funny that. But I think Tim dillan out of every comedian I know, I do agree that most comedians people could do that, and they're are like like copycats of like it's kind of repetitive a lot of times. It's not that we don't need more of that. It's great every you know, artists are inspired by others. But I do believe Tim Dillon is one of the exceptions to that.
I think he is.
So extraordinarily uniquely funny. And I was just thinking, like I'm just like, uh was I don't think I was cutting with his clips, because sometimes I do.
I go like, God, you'll never be this funny. He's so fucking smart. And fast and funny.
But this morning I was like trying to be more inspired by it and tap into whatever that. Obviously I admire it, So it's somewhere in me that kind of like honesty and brutality with which he speaks that I look up to so much that I'm like, let me get some let me have more of that.
Yeah, and let me tell.
I'm even talking like him now, Like, let me let me listen to this and absorb some of it. The other day, I was trying to write like a bunch of jokes about one topic. I just wanted to write a bunch of jokes about having gained a little bit of weight, because I think that's just like an interest topic to discuss it, just like just a little bit, you know, like it's not enough to really complain about or for anyone to feel bad about you. But I
was like, where can I go with this? And I was on this porch of this hotel in Tel Aviv, and I was like, I just want to write a bunch of jokes, And instead of just trying to do that, I was like, who writes a bunch? Who just has jokes rapid fire? And so I just started watching Jim Gaffigan on two times the Speed on YouTube, and I just like dumped buckets of jokes on my head and like I was sopping wet with that kind of like thinking and that kind of joke writing, which Jim Gaffigan
is just like joke. There's no fat in the jokes. There's no like you know, yes, I typed in like fat jokes and it's like all Jim gaffigin. But if you ever want to hear jokes about any topic, you type in Jim Gaffigan in that topic and he has twenty minutes about it, and I think he has the most precise like writing. So I've been using things that I'm jealous of or sorry that I'm envious of to inspire me more so lately.
Do you guys ever do that?
Do you ever like immerse yourself in something that you might avoid otherwise because it makes you feel bad?
I mean Tim Dillon did that to me. You know. Tim Dillon was my podcast co host for like eight months on like ten years ago, on The Unbelievable podcast.
Wait, I think I did know this, but I forgot it.
Yeah, he was my he was my co host who were co host do you agree.
With me about what that he's extraordinary.
Well, this is what happened on the podcast. He would be on the podcast and I was like, this guy is a fucking star and like he's just he shouldn't be here. And then eventually like what is he doing here? And then so we had eight months of you know, great podcasts and the eventually he left to do his own podcast. But I this was like in twenty twelve, I was like, this guy is so funny. It's like, I'm not ready to be on the same podcast as him.
And then he did leave, and then the podcast was shit. No, but it was it was fine, and I was I saw it from twenty twelve or whenever it was. And then he left, and then I was not surprised when he when he blew up.
Are you still friendly with him?
If I saw him, he would say hello, but I don't like, you know, text him or anything. Gays.
We're podcasting for eight Was it a was it a bad ending?
One of the best moments of No, No, it is a perfectly fine ending, one of the best moments. Because he would come to my apartment in Sunnyside, Queens and I used to make chicken franchse. One of my best dishes that I could make, and one of my proudest moments is I made chicken Franchise and there was some leftovers and Tim was at the house and I was like, you want some chicken Franchez because I know he's like a foodie guy. Yeah, And he goes and he tastes
the chicken franchise and he goes not bad, not bad. Yeah, a little too much white wine, but not bad. And that was like, oh my god, that was like the best compliment coming from him.
Yeah, he ill. I mean, it's the best compliment coming from him that he was a co host.
He must. You don't agree to be a.
Co host on someone's show and you think they've got something, and which you clearly have, there's no question of that, that's why. And you don't you don't ask someone to be a post on your show if you don't see that they have and like like you did with Tim, like I want to absorb someone something of what this guy has. But yeah, it's and then it's hard to see, especially it's sometimes hard to see people that you started
with or like we're beneath you. In the comedy world, like you know, eclipse you or like I struggle with all that stuff, but I'm finding like just just try to try to enjoy it and not compare yourself, but like use it to learn. Like that's why I want a mentorship from Taylor Swift, Like use these things as mentoring devices as opposed to like making you feel bad about stuff, like do you do that?
Anya? Do you do this?
I think envy is one of my favorite emotions because it tells me what I want, and sometimes I don't know what. I'm one of those personalities that's a that can you know, has a really hard time making decisions because I can see all the good sides of each possible option. But I remember when I was working at the radio station as a DJ in San Diego and I saw my friend's tour schedule. She was a singer songwriter, and I was like filled with envy and rage, and
then I was like, what are you doing? Why are you on the radio if you're so envious? Start taking steps to have her life. If you want her life, what are you doing? And that's when I was like, Oh, I'm stuck here because of me, But I can have what she has if I start taking like, no one's going to knock on my door and call me and be like, hey, guys, so you have a full tour scheduled that's sold out. If you've never even made a.
Record, what was the purpose of this call?
This calling thing, the things we were on our phone calls are possible. Everything you we've all said, I mean, is extraordinary. But you're taking voice lessons. You are comedian.
Taxes are unavoidable. It's death and taxes that she's never gonna die.
No, Noah might end up being like I saw a really cool farm in Arizona and.
Attracts exactly text she can afford the property tax, text right off because it's a pea. Yes, yes, because it's a sanctuary. Okay, thank you, all right.
Also, I just found to have the.
Weddings on your land. You can write it all off. That was it? Just that envy is really is really helpful to me. So sometimes I'll hear a song that I'm like, God, damn it, I wish I had written that, and then I'm like, just start writing something like that. I think it informs your next steps. Was that an answer to your question? Did you ask me?
No?
That was good?
Okay, No, no, no, I think that was I think that was it. I actually saw this thing. I'll end on this. I followed I guess on Instagram you can like follow hashtags and I follow like voice teachers or something. And there's this woman that I really like and she sells like or she she's yeah, she sells classes, but she also gives good advice.
And this was one that I really liked.
She's talking about performance and like being a better performer, and she said visualization is the practice of mentally imagining yourself performing in a way you would like to perform in real life. It's a mental rehearsal of skills toda. The idea is used in Olympic sports training. The studies show that when athletes use visualization they improve performance up
to thirty percent. So for your next performance, try mentally rehearsing your performance scenarios and see if your physical performance of those scenarios and actions improve. So the thirty percent improvement, I've read that before too. I think Neil Brennan suggested me a book that was like the ten percent. It wasn't ten percent happier. It was some sports book about like visualization and like you meditate and you imagine the game you're about to play, and then those players play better.
I've never done anything like that where I'm like prep picturing the performance.
I would struggle with that.
I struggle with like fantasy and like even you know, with masturbation. I'm never like thinking about some thing. But I guess now that there's a I usually looked at fantasy of like you're so dumb, you're never going to get this, Like this is just a sad thing, like I pictured it like kind of pathetic, And now that there's a purpose behind it that you could be thirty percent better, maybe I could start trying to do it. But there was another one too, that said, be well rehearsed.
Science has proven that when musicians or athletes rehearse their performance ahead of time, they perform up to thirty percent better.
I mean, that's so true. We all fucking know that.
Bring is back to the thing we started with in the beginning about weddings and anxiety. Today, this morning I did like a little bit of wedding prep work that I've been putting off, and I felt so good and excited about getting married, which is a nice feeling, just because like I don't.
Know I bought.
Yeah, I bought like this stuff I'm supposed to wear under the dress, which is so annoying and complicated to me because I don't know how to wear, like what kind of bra and what kind of slip and I have to get the slip altered and it's fucking annoying.
But I did it.
I bought all the things. I'll probably not wear any of them, but I bought a bunch of options and answered the caterer and wrote to the fucking delivery people, and I'm like, oh, now I'm getting prepared. It's the same thing as playing guitar for a couple hours or like before Europe, I picked out all my outfits and all of a sudden, I was like thirty percent less nervous because I'm like, I know what outfit I'm wearing on what day, and it feels so good.
Do you ever watch these people like on YouTube, like the guy Jay Shetty with the ice blue eyes, and like all these other like influencers that you kind of think they're full of shit. Ryan Holliday he's the stoicism guy.
There's Lewis Howells. He's a friend of mine.
But like these guys and it just seems so easy for them to do all these things all the time. It can't be, though, right, Like, no one just lives thinking positively, always practicing. I think the only person that does, maybe is Taylor Swift, because and that is why she's
been so successful. Like I look at her success and it's like I read this diary that they posted on the Reddit the other day because she shared her like journals from the years, and it was like, today's the anniversary of when she picked the nineteen eighty nine album cover, and I was like, who gives a shit? And then I read the journal entries where she was like, I arrived in Shanghai. I'm very tired and jet lagged, and
I knew if I slept, I'd be totally screwed. So I went to the gym and I'm like, that's Tailor's Swift. And then she wrote like and I just was feeling unsatisfied with the photo shoot we did for nineteen and nine. I can't describe, but I just am not finding what I want. So I went back to the original stills that we took for like the outfit fitting or whatever
I'm paraphrasing. But she was like and I looked at the polaroids and I realized, oh my god, there's this one polaroid of me that doesn't have my eyes showing, and there's just something captivating about it.
And that's the cover.
And it was just like, ohoh, it was she going over things, not sleeping when you know that it's gonna fuck with you, not because you know, she didn't she needed rest, and this was at a time in her life, I think when she was exercising too much, and she would probably admit that too, But I was just reading that going like, there are there are certain people like this who got into good habits young, and like instead of me beating myself up that like I'm I wasn't
twenty two and you know, going to the gym instead of sleeping and picking out my album cover and performing a sold out show in Shanghai with a ticker tape parade like and all these things. I was just like, what can I do to maybe be more like that? Or like, how can this inspire me? So I'm gonna try to do more of that.
This was an enlightening This is an inspiring.
Episode for me too.
You guys got me? H, what are we all gonna do just to sit by your phones all day. I want all out, just pick up every spam call.
All right, that feels good.
Well, until next week, we have so much discuss it will be we'll get into wedding planning details because that's all coming up very soon. Leave us fan threxes. We'll get to those next week as well. Thank you all for the messages you send, all the kind words about Brian and the show in general, and we'll see you next week on the show. Don't be kiss and you just manifest that sh Wu conches mine baitch