#343 European Adventures/ Full Frontal Nudity/ Mildly Hot Coffee & A Floor Lollipop

The Niki Gliser podcast.

Glaser's Nikki. Hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's Thediculizer podcast live from Europe Vienna. To be exact, I'm here in my hotel room with Anya and my boyfriend Chris Convey.

Hello, we're here Alfazan.

Yeah. Do they speak Austrian here or German? And is there a difference German German? So the Austrian language of Austrian is not a language, it's a language.

Okay.

I thought I'd noticed slight differences between the two, But why would I because I don't know any German.

I'm sure there's like slight differences as far as like accent is concerned.

Okay.

I noticed they said Beachashan today when like you walk in anywhere, and I was like, I thought that was you're welcome, And then I realized, oh, it's welcome. It's like same as in Russian or Spanish or I guess any language.

Wait, what do you mean?

Like I always thought you only say that after thank you, like thank you welcome, But no, it's like when you walk into a room, I also say welcome or thank you so much, You're welcome.

Oh, it's the different. Yeah, I mean like welcome here. Yeah, I thought German was welcoming.

Maybe it is, but they said, Bitian, I don't know. Maybe I heard an end of a conversation, but it sure felt like a beginning. And that's a great place to start.

BITI shun to the show everyone, and Brian Franngie is a visitor is joining us from Los Angeles.

I'm crete to create a rack right now? What time? What's what's the tz where you are?

Uh, specifically the time? Yeah, I mean.

I guess this is on question.

I was trying to be uh adorable, but what's the time where you are?

It's nine to thirty am and beautiful to crete and it's sunny and actually it's a kind of overcast today.

Isn't it weird that it's six pm here or six thirty here?

Isn't that strange?

How?

And that it just there? I guess.

I was watching Ted Lasta the other day and he's like, why can't we all just be on the same time zones? And the you know, his like assistant coach was just like the sun Man and he was like, oh yeah, sun, but it is.

Yes, it's crazy, it's crazy. And then like you'll be a full.

Day ahead, like if you're in Japan, it's like the next day. And like, yeah, did you ever uh uh?

One time I was on a plane on New Year's Eve when midnight whoa, and I was doing.

A red eye.

I chased it.

Yeah, I chased it.

I went from the East coast to the West coast and I hit New Year's Eve four times and what Yeah? And there was occasionally we saw fireworks out the window.

A lot of kissing.

Yeah, we all made out the whole time before the fall dropped. But you know what was what was ridiculous about it was they didn't do anything on the plane at midnight. The pilot didn't say Happy New Year. They didn't give people free champagne midnight. Struck We're all waiting for some special event and then just time past.

Well see that's annoying because you know what, the New Year is kind of the same everywhere except China. I guess I'm sure those are the countries that also don't celebrate the same Gregorian calendar we have.

It's like sixty four or something right now.

Wait, so they don't they don't do like Happy New Year, like like you know, orthodox Jews and like acidic Jews, like don't do not particle to Jews to watch Carson acidic Jews, you know the ones.

Their pH bounces are very off as supposed to basic Jews like Brian.

Yeah, like they don't go happy, No, they'll go.

Well.

Europe has been We've been here a couple of days now. I think we're kind of adjusted. I just took a nap that was very intense.

Did you nap.

Yeah, it's sleeping when you're jetlagged. Is the closest thing to being drunk or on heroin.

Yeah.

The alarm goes off and then you're just like, I will do anything for more sleep.

I was starting to bargain stages of grief. Yeah, I was.

I was close to weeping, just like I can't believe I have to wake up, I know, and.

Do a podcast too. You guys, the things we do for you.

Oh my god, I'm looking outside and there's one of those giant babe.

Look, you are gonna love doing that.

It's like one of those tower things and it lifts all the way up and has swings on it. And this thing is like three hundred feet in the air and it lifts up and hass all around it. I would never do it. Do you know what I don't like in a ride? Centrifugal force is pulling a chain Like I like centripical force. If I'm locked into something and I can feel myself be like you know the ones that you lay on you just like stand up

It just wants to be fat so bad.

Like that's how I feel about those swing things. It's just like it wants to let the swing go and you're stopping it and it's gonna win at some point, and so we are not doing that.

But I would to want you go up in that and look for a new boyfriend.

Anyway, Nikki announced that the show last night she she was going She was like, you know, I'm some strong independent woman I'm this, I'm that I'm single, or like I'm single and I'm wealthy. I'm oh, yeah, because I'm single.

She goes, wait, hold on, I'm not.

I just I said. I've never said that once before. It seemed like something I've been getting away with and then suddenly I forgot to change it.

My boyfriend's in the world was.

Because she's listing a bunch of things that are like great about her life.

Yeah, I just because it's leading up to a joke. Well, that kind of shows you how my brain works.

For a joke like, I will turn off whatever's true to fit what the narrative is for a joke like that, that's like, you know, just trying. I will sacrifice for a setup to hit a better punchline. And and even if I was like performing without you in the room, I would have been like, waits again, I'm not single?

What am I saying?

Because it would defeat so many of my jokes about us being together and breaking up pretty soon. So for some breakups, Oh yeah, Brian's been through a few of.

Our really food and stare into the abyss during those two like you guys did after a Game of Thrones.

Every time we would have like moments of silence it Yeah, so the show. I mean to be honest with you, I was really bummed before the show's last night because I was just having jet lag depression plus depression plus just depression, yeah, not being single depression, really fighting all that.

And I was like crying before.

I needed to get a cry out, and I never ever cry before performance.

Who am I? Katy Perry?

And the documentary that she did called I Forget what It's called?

Perry? Yeah? Did you ever see that documentary?

Yeah?

Oh it's so good.

I think I was trying to have a Katy Perry moment yesterday because you you you, what's the what's the verb of resilient? You resile? You like become resilient. Yeah,

And she's just like, no, I'm gonna do it because the cameras are here. Really we need a moment for the secondentary. This is what I realized later on.

But no, it's a great moment because she's beneath the stage and she raises up and she's in the shadows and she's beneath the stage and she's just like.

Still weeping, just like.

And then all of a sudden, you see like the platform start to raise and she's still weeping. And then right before she hits the lip, she just goes and she's like just hits her mark and then delivers an amazing performance.

And so I just need to get a cry out.

So I was like weeping back stage yesterday, hoping that none of the German people who worked at the club like came back to be like do you want more tea or whatever, because I was just I was just I hadn't done comedy for two and a half weeks. I'm about to perform somewhere where I Then I start going over my jokes because I don't ever prepare anything before five minutes before the show.

I'm not even joking.

I didn't think about one of my single jokes before I got a joke on.

You had to remind her of like fifteen jokes. I don't have them written down anywhere.

This is got on.

You write some down this.

Last weekend talking about how you need to cry and you can't cry.

I know, we warmed her up the ahead of time. I went to the topography of terror in Berlin, which is just the Holocaust.

Yeah, And I kept going to her like you have a boyfriend.

And that was just sinking me lower and lower. And finally, after enough of that, no, I was able to squeeze them out and feel about it. But I was going over my jokes and I was like, they don't like my biggest jokes right now are about John bonn Ay Ramsey and Susan Boyle, and I go, I don't think these are references they get. I'm like, oh no, So

Of like Walgreens, an amendment.

And how important it is and now we need to.

Protect it, branches of the government.

Yeah, it was all stuff like family matters rkle. I'm like, do they even have that over here?

Can you believe how dangerous Pittsburgh is? Like have you in North Carolina there?

But then I made a joke halfway through the show because I said something that I go, oh, I flubbed a joke, and I and stays saying the punchline, I go, And then I forgot what the punchline was. And then I realized, I go, actually, I didn't. I just got scared right before that you guys wouldn't know the reference, so I shoot my mind literally chose to forget it instead of to like, I didn't forget it, So I forget about the joke, mind, Roofi, do you it really totally did.

At one point at point, Nikki forgot something of like a Germany reference that she was going to do in a joke and she in the middle.

Of the show, she was likeck, what'd.

You say, babe?

I go, babe, babe, Like it wasn't like I was like, my boyfriend's here, let me ask him, babe. I was just like, and there's this commercial I saw and it was a who was it?

Babe?

Who was it?

Babe? Smoke up? And he reminded me.

But when I couldn't think of the joke before that, I was like, And so then I said, I go, Okay, well I'm gonna say this joke and if you don't get the reference, it's whatever. And then they got the reference, and I go, it's so American of me to expect that you guys don't know anything about America because we don't know anything about you. Like that's I go, it's what I'm thinking.

I'm thinking, like, you guys are like us.

You probably know shit about the rest of the world, and we don't. I don't know fucking anything, and I'm embarrassed of it.

Yeah, but Chris.

Chris has written like four jokes for me since I've been here, and it's been pretty great because he'll say something and I go, can I use that and he's like, I don't what am I going to do?

Yeah, but you've written some stuff for real.

I'm going to help Mike and Munich.

Later she would be like, now I am single. Did it feel really good to Oh? Yeah?

I was like, I can't date someone who just starts coming. Did it feel good when that joke hit?

Yeah, it felt really good.

The line that you came up with, we won't give it away because I really think it's going to be a part of my act.

Yeah, I wrote what I wrote a joke for Tim too, Brian.

Oh Man, yea, now you owe me one?

Yeah, actually give you all.

That's not how it works. I get first pick. In fact, the one Tim gets. I was like, I think that's probably better for Tim.

I wrote a good one too.

It's like, you know what you're doing jiu jitsu and you're putting him in an arm bar and it turns out it's really just a figure four leg lock.

I get it. When that naked choke insame? What's that reference? In Tucson?

Was the first time I heard you use the transistor radio joke?

I thought that was really great.

Oh yeah, I told that one that you gave me that one.

Yeah, pretty good.

Yeah, and I haven't done that since. Yeah, that was because I guess I haven't been on stage.

All the best are like, no wonder, Nikki's got way less funny recently.

No, no, no, that joke last night kill.

Yeah it was great, it felt really great.

But I had two shows last night, and we had two shows last night, and yeah, the first one was just like getting my feet wet and it was good. But then the second one much much better and Anya was great, and yeah, you had friends at the second show though.

Yeah, it's hard to have friends at a show.

Do you ever get nervous, Brian?

When friends?

You know friends, you have to have friends.

Yeah, I got nervo. Yet if there's friends at a show, I get nervous because I did. I black out and make friends somewhere.

What your rat friend is in the back, they're both here tonight.

It's I would much rather perform for a room full of strangers than for anybody that I know, And without a doubt same, Yeah.

It's it's got a I will say. I think it's that way for every performer, no matter how much they go like it's my hometown. I'm so glad to be here tonight. Every time I've said that Saint Louis, I'm lying like I'm I'm happier there and I'm happy I'm here, and even actually New Year's Eve was fun and I let go of things. But it's just never it's never

You are every time.

Yeah, I can't.

Possibly be like, let me do a redo, come on, And there's just you know, especially with singing Anya just from my voice lessons that I've been taking, like if you have any tension in your mentally or physically at all throughout your whole body, if your toe is hurting, it can affect the sound of your voice in the resonance, like any tension at all, So like something you're thinking about? Do you think when you're singing? Do you think about the words or are you thinking about like other stuff.

It's bizarre that you can think a million things, don't you when you're doing comedy?

Yes, actually was singing.

I can be in both places, like thinking about the song, also thinking about like is my shoe the right collar with this outfit? And like you're moving weird, like did you forget how to move? Why don't you just relax pretend you're dancing? Okay, that's good now, Oh you forgot. It's like a constant conversation, am I. Is there anything that you ever like do you ever.

Get nervous?

Because I guess whenever I'm playing guitar and singing, I always am like I fuck up something and then I keep sucking up on top of that, like it won't stop the fuck ups.

Is there out of that? Yeah?

I think meditation, like just be in the zone right here, right here, right here. Speaking of which, that's a new favorite Nikki Glazer joke of mine. What where you talk about aging in the passage of time and it's almost like you're trying to like capture the moment.

Now.

Yeah.

The point is is like you're you're it's pointless to be like I'm so old because you're as young. You're the youngest you'll ever be right now. Now wait now you're.

Older, now hold on.

Like it's when I realized that, I was like, oh, it's it's but it doesn't stop me from thinking about it constantly.

I found that.

Same sort of idea because you know, as a man whose hair is slowly thinning, you're just every day.

Every No, it's not then fascinating. No, no, no, it's not at all. I would never be able to make me jokes if I really thought it was. Noah likes it a lot.

Every day is the best it's gonna look, right, So like every single day I get with my hair, I can't be upset because in two years time, I'm going to look back and be like, oh.

My god, I had it. I had it all. Yes, that day in Vienna, you did. I had it all. You did.

It's always a good sign when you see your boyfriend across the street or like you don't know what's him and you go, you.

Go, oh it's mine. I feel the way today. But it has happened because saw you first.

Today we saw a Viennese Chris.

It was he was wearing a scarf, which never except a scarf.

How is like the outside of the shows being in Europe fit?

Okay, Starbucks is amazing here. I have some thoughts about the Starbucks here. We will get to that right after we take a break. But that is a great question, Brian, more about our European inventure when we get back. Is that the rag put in the room?

Yes, welcome back to the show.

Anya just noticed that there is a rag that was laying in the middle of the floor of my clean room. You know what, Like I always just thought, and I didn't complain because I go, you know what, all she didn't do was pick up a rag. You know, that's her cleaning maybe, but like for me, it was the grossest thing I've ever seen. But it really was just a rag. And like, think how many rags are just on your floor before they leave the room and they just go oh quick, And it's like, that's the difference

She's like Gary on vv Serena the opposite.

Oh no, okay, Gary's telling.

Vah, yeah, I'm totally Gary sister in law. And I got my drink and it was not extra hot. But here's the thing about Europe. They don't do things extra It's just the way it is. It's and there's no hot or cold. It's just everything sixty eight degrees. The room will not go below sixty eight, it won't go above. It's just what it is. There's no ice, there's no

Yeah, loudly, that is extra hot. I was like, and I just go, well, it's not pretty amazing, comeback. But this is why they don't, and An, you made a good point.

It's because it burns the coffee, and they like have they want things to be pure and like you taste everything and like making it too hot like burns, and I like things that are burnt because I like pain because otherwise I suck it down too fast because I like it to scorch my throat. And then like today I think Germans are into that kind of stuff. Yeah pain, yeah, pain, It's like you would think, but they just everything, even

Is that it?

They're respecting the.

Coffee, but what about the diet coke? There's something to respect? Oh, like why won't they use ice? Like why won't they?

People mustn't be like demanding it because there's there's another issue in other parts of Europe too, Like I think in France they're like, You're like, can I get ice with this? And they think you're kind of crazy or they just give you like one piece of ice. Yes, cold beverages aren't like.

I had ice and they don't demand it.

Delicious though.

In Berlin I had the best ice coffee I've ever had in my life.

I don't even drink coffee.

They've they screwed up my order and I was like, no, no, I'll keep it. And then it was two little square, perfect cubes of ice, like the most perfect cube you've ever seen. And then it was just like the most delicious drink I was like, I want to become a coffee drinker now, and it was it was just perfect. Maybe America overdoes things.

Yeah, I would say I would blame it on Celsius because their range of numbers isn't as large.

We go from zero to one hundred degrees.

That's well within our range.

In Europe, it's Celsius zero is freezing, and then like seventy degrees is twenty, Like they don't have the numbers.

They don't have the degrees is twenty. What about the room temperature? Why won't it go below sixty eight? I think it's I think it's a power issue, and they're I think also I was told not to bring my own hair dryer, even if I have an adapter, because it'll blow out their circuits. I think we're just America is just like big, more power, more things, Like they don't have Sedan's here. I don't know if that's about everything's tiny.

Everything's tiny.

There's tea cups in your room, there's mugs at the venue, but they are forty smaller than a tea cup you might think, or a mug that you might see in America.

But the portions have not been disappointing. I gotta say I've been today. They got a little confused on my order today at lunch that we and I ordered the same thing. They didn't know I ordered two of them. They only brought one. And then we're just waiting and waiting, and then finally I'm like, I think they didn't get mine, which they didn't. So then Chris went in to buy another or to pay for She was like, oh, we'll bring it out, and they brought out a sandwich, which

I hit the guy who what did you do? More of that? Your trick? Good sir? Oh yeah, here's here's a you only hit me talk about.

Okay, I told you I'd never talk about it, but he does.

Not hit me. Babe, babe, babe.

No, here's a pro tip for all you international besties and people that are traveling. Oh yeah, if you're Canadian, blame things on us. And if you're American, blamed things on Canada. So basically, if you do something stupid and you know the people in that country, if Germans see you doing something stupid, if you like walk in front of cars and you're like look in the wrong way, and you'd be like, oh boy, that's not how they do it back in Canada. You just identify. You'd be like, oh,

You can fuddled in a bike Lane'll be like, oh, this reminds me of Montreal, which is the country where I for the Mounties.

That's all a boot, yes, yes, exactly. So basically, just reference the country you want to blame it on. And so Americans can really only blame it on Canada.

So Chris literally today when he was paying for my meal for the second time, because it was like we were just such like I was such an American, like nitpicky, like I need it my way. He just goes, Oh, it's okay, man, it's just we do it differently.

He goes, oh really.

Yeah, yeah, Canada, Yeah, we're always just thinking about hockey. No, but I do love Canadians. But you guys could do it to us too. It's very it's probably easy like that part of it.

Yes, always yeah, I mean, but it's but it's something I used to do back in high school.

So like if I did something like rude or untoored, if I like accident, you know, I'm a seventeen year old kid, and I curse in public. I'm always like, oh man, I can't wait till we play slow in baseball. Because we're from De smet Al.

Used to give it on another school.

So I used I used to blame any bad behavior on others. That's really funny because I want to be don't you want to be a good American citizen when you're over here. You don't want to be like the people that they complain about on Reddit.

Yes, so we are.

You want to be that. You want to be the best behaved. You want to be a model citizen, so the people are like Americans not so bad after all.

I'm sorry that's smell on the plane today, though, I was getting a little American about it of like this.

It was giving me a headache. That guy's body odor.

It was a grandmother in front of me.

Oh it was. I thought it was the man in front of me. Yea so bad. It was just rancid bo.

I just don't know how people don't know that they have that coming from their body because I thought when we first sat down, I go, well, we're gonna get used to it and it will go away because you're but we did it. So then I go, this motherfucker has no excuse. This is this is newly like refreshing, and it never got used to it, so I could not because I understand sometimes when people smell, I'm like, they don't know because they get used to it. This is how we adapt as humans because we we we

Alone in New York that had bad bo and then after like six to eight months of going to open mics with him. We all had an intervention and we said, you got to start using deodorant.

It's going to like hurt your career. And he started using good and he's, U, that's good.

He does like he might have smelled at one point for a really long time.

Can't say right to do that?

To have the intervention, Yeah, I guess not in this an open mic sense, because we're all like, you know.

You guys are like probably salvating to.

Yeah, let's do this. It wasn't that bad and felt you had.

Yeah, every head of roast in every comic just said this guy should wear deodorant.

Right, And then to the point, how did it run like this intervention? Did he walk into a room and it was like ding ding ding like the Intervention show. There was like an old woman with you guys to lead it, and he goes, no, I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this. I'm going outside to have a cigarette. I'm not doing this, and they're like, just sit down. Everyone has a letter.

Letters are like your smell has affected me in very negative ways. And then eventually no, but it was it was after the open mic. You know, it had been a long time coming, and you know it's the whole It was really bad bo like you experienced on the plane, and we're like, listen, you got to start wearing deodorant because you know, I know that maybe it's I don't know what it is, but you didn't wear deodorant and you don't realize that it smells and everyone is affected

I'm not sure.

I laugh it off. Was it really did tried to do it? Did you seem nice?

We tried to do it so nice, like we're trying to help you, like like maybe no one's ever told you this, and that's the mean thing is to just be there and then after the might be like this person stinks like shit and never tell them.

That's what we've been doing for a year.

More Like, clearly, this isn't the first.

Time we've been talking behind your back for eight months.

And has anyone ever confronted you guys about something that you're just like, oh my god, Like I remember the first time I got told you need deodorant. When I was a teen, I was like thirteen, and my cousin JD and my sister conspired to go nikky, you stink, and I was just.

Like I couldn't.

I'll never forget that feeling and having to I remember going up to my mom's room in this house you're staying in Michigan and going through her like dop kit and being like, what do I do and then finding she she used that van do you remember van?

A ball in the top that you love?

That feeling, and it was it was just like wet, and I just remember being like, this is welcome to womanhood. Just putting some like like having a dog, a cold dog lick you under your pits and just being like oh and I was just so ashamed. And I remember just going to my room like crying, being so embarrassed.

But someone has to tell.

You, yeah, it's good that you did.

Man have a Mitchen Man. You know Mitchen Man. Chris knows the Mitchell Man.

Yeah, I know, I know Mitcham Deoduran, but I don't remember the mitcham Man.

Well, because you have really sweaty pits, you use mitcham Deoduran it dries up your pits. And then on the commercials they would show a guy with sweaty pits and they'd say, that's a mitcham man.

You remember those.

I watched TV too, but maybe I wasn't watching the same TV. I know he really sweats a lot. Is that what that means?

Yeah, well he's a mitch. Well, no, he doesn't sweat at all because all his friends are all.

It's like the Marlborough Man and he's got he smokes sugartes, he uses it.

Yeah, okay, speaking of body disgusting bodies, No, I thank you for that bodies.

Yeah. We okay.

So we are in Berlin on the first night. I think that we got this first night. We slept, we we got in early, we slept all day. We did it all wrong, but it turned out great. We're just doing great and we Chris is I'm in the bathroom just like putting on I don't know, brushing my teeth or something, and I hear yelp, a yulp come from the TV room and I knew Chris had just been scrolling through the TV last I left him. And he's like, oh my god, and I or was I in the room.

TV was tilted towards me when you were sitting on the couch, and so you didn't you didn't have.

Any single listen. I make these stories up in the way I want to present them.

Yeah, you're right.

I just couldn't see the screen. And he goes, there was there was a penis. There was a full penis, too full penis? Yes, TF And I go, what do you meet? Like I thought, maybe he stumbled on TFP. I thought maybe he stumbled on porn.

Yeah, like why not? Or like that?

Maybe I got bumped up to the premium thing because you know, we're in a suite or something. But it was just a regular channel, and I forget that. What the channel is called. It's like RTL or something. It's the best channel ever. I first of all this show and it's being my favorite show. It's called Naked Attraction and the premise is is that a woman comes.

Have you heard of this? I heard of this? Yes, Okay, it's yes. I think they must.

I wonder if they franchise it because this is a very German show. This woman's hosting it, she is a host. She stands there with a contestant who is looking to go on a date. Okay, it's shot. This is shot so cheaply. The lighting is horrible.

It's in a studio. It's in a studio. That's where it all takes place.

And then they go on a date later on and that's in like a shitty bar, and it's always in the same bar, and it's like what and they use one camera. There's like no, there's no other angle. It's the cheapest shows ever box studio.

I mean, with with what five lit weird color boxes.

Like columns, like almost phone booths, and they have each of a different color.

They are going to get a huge increase in their budget. Now that the host of f Boy Island is talking about.

It, I want to bring this to the States, and I'm not joking it. We won't be able to have the same nudity, but even blurred out and having people describe what they're seeing would be hilarious. So this, so they're behind these panels. You just see their silhouette and then the first thing that lifts up is the panel and you see their penis down to their toes. Just the first panel lifts all the way up and the girl talks about each person's penis and toes and legs and everything.

We don't have no idea.

First of all, it was it was all in German, and we watched six episodes.

Episode and the word penis is what they used for penis, sois no we looked and so they say penis or penis or penius. I don't even know, but you could hear that it was, you know when there's just like English words and they were just straight up safe or maybe they were just using different words and they said penis a bunch but other words also to describe it. But these people have their flaccid penises out and they're just like sad torsos. And then it finally lifts up,

The first round is like you eliminate either one or two people just when the when you can see from like the waist down basically, so it's legs and so like to tell the truth.

Except it's a disgusting bodies and not yeah.

And then when they get eliminated, the whole board comes all the way up and you see their face and it's somehow worse than their like, it's always some people are not that. No one, I don't think the most attractive woman. You were in the shower when she was on and she was really cute, but she was mad. No, they start with everyone's like, yeah, they start waist down. So there was one episode where it was a bisexual woman, so there was like a.

Transsexual woman or transgendered woman.

There was a uh, and then there were two women, and then there were one guy that was kind of more effeminate looking that had like fingernails done like you know, painted but long, like beautiful like manicured hands, but like a dick, and then one with and then there were also men on that one.

So there was and then there was one.

Where it was all I don't I didn't see one where it was a man deciding in all women.

No, I didn't see that one. We need that one.

The US version will have us judging windows bodies.

That's what we do best. But so they do. They then they.

Eliminate two people and then they lifted all the way up to like there right before their head, and then they talk about like their their gut and their like arms and tattoos and stuff. They're just like analyzing these people's bodies. Oh, then they turn around and you just see their butt and then there's like close ups on butts, there's close ups on penises. And this is Europe, you guys. So there's uncircumcised penis is galore. It is the norm. There was one circumcised penis. I think I saw the

Yeah, sweet potato. How did you not know what a yam was? I don't think he knows what it looks like.

Well versed in vegetables, jams and sweet potatoes are different.

It could be a fun game.

What yams and sweet potatoes are different?

Let me guess the yam is like more yellow when you cut it open, and sweet potatoes orange.

Well, sweet potato tastes better. I think it is a little sweeter.

That's that's what the yam is, a little thicker meat.

Potato rankings vegetables.

You should get on that train. That's funny that you know that. Do you cook a lot Brian.

All the time? And also, I do want to say I recently. That's right, Nikki, I cook there all right now. She doesn't cook at all. She microwaves eggs. Would Here's the beauty of Brian. If he wants to do something, he figures it out. He does it at his dancing.

Oh yeah he can dance. Yeah, no casual dance.

Casual.

I do want to dance.

I have a tip.

I have a hot tip on a non apple fruit. Just quickly, and that is strawberries. There's a straw there's a new strawberry on the market that is the best strawberry by far I've ever had. It's called the Gaviota strawberry.

It is sweet. It is the sweetest little.

Straw in the world. You gotta try it, Gaviota.

I did sample a strawberry the other day at Whole Foods. They had the sample thing out, which I'm sure Chris is like, you eat from that?

Gross?

Are you grossed out that they eat from samples?

No?

Why, I don't know.

It just seems like something that people that are have like germ things that are like do the proper thing.

No.

Nikki is saying this because she dropped a lollipop out of her mouth onto the floor.

The wrapper WoT done out of my mouth.

It was not wet yet, it was.

Not okay, okay onto the floor.

At an airport, people are in and out of I know, I'm just on the floor the airport.

Why it's different than an airport than a hotel room anything. I would have said, you would have gone like they everywhere and.

The shoes and then did like one of those gangster things where you know how you like blow on your knuckles and then rub it on your shirt. She did that with a lollipop. It goes like yeah, and then put it in her mouth.

Like like okay. Can I say I have no shame? I would admit this a thousand times over. Yes, that is what I do. I don't care about germs. It is so stupid to think that because it touches the ground for two seconds that if I rub it vigorously on my jeans and then blow on it, that I wouldn't get off whatever it just got when it wasn't even wet. It fell on the ground dry, So what are you even talking about? I get how it just

Panel go into the bathrooms, and then they come out of the bathrooms and then they step on where you're.

Oating your food. I get that. So I dropped lollipop floor is your plate? I get it.

The dry lollipop is on the ground and it gets like a poop particle on it. Vigorously rubbing it on my jeans is going to get if it was able to pick that poop particle up just gently falling on the ground, rubbing it vigorous lemon jeans is going to take off whatever it got on the ground.

Around and then it spreads it around and then Chris goes, hey, this is the way we do it in Calgary.

Yeah, it was not wet before it fell out of my mouth.

If it was wet, I would not.

I would run it underwater free that if it was wet and you did it, that almost might be beyond the pail. But because it was dry, there's a little bit of a gray area there.

The funniest part everywhere she goes.

To call it.

But the best part was that I knew, like I like to just I'm a gross person. I'm out about that, Like I don't care about germs. It just doesn't bother me. I wish it did, so that I appeared like I wish. When something fell off my plate, I was like, well it touched the table. I'm not gonna put that in my mouth. It's just not the way I think. And I'm not gonna let that.

Piece of food go to waste.

And so but I realized that that grosses Chris out, and he has to kiss me, and I want him to be attracted to me. So if this would have happened when Chris was around, I would have definitely just put the lollipop like aside and like hope that he did it like and then I would have pretended to throw away and then like put in my pocket for later, and he wouldn't have known but he wasn't around when this happened.

He went to the bathroom to go.

Get shit on his shoes, so he wasn't there. So when I and then I picked it up and I put it, I did the gene thing and then I you know, and I put it back in my mouth and he goes, go, No, clayed out of nowhere else, like you weren't supposed to see that. I wouldn't have done it. If you were next to me, I would have done it later.

Have you guys ever seen that like meme or something. It's like it's some woman to tweeted out like, guys, do you reuse the towel that you like dry off your like genitals with wow? And a guy tweeted back, he goes, you started the face and you work your way down the towel forgets everything by the next day.

Yeah, I constantly reused els and don't think about that, but I just figured out. Also the other day I was watching on Reddit, some girl was talking about She was like, I think it's gross when people use the same bar of soap, Like I just put that in my ass and he goes in your ass and she's like, yeah, you put it in an ass.

And he goes in.

She goes like, not in your asshole, but like into the crevice and you like, go up the crevice and I'm like and then the guy's like, no, you don't, and she's like what do you mean? And he's like, you put you lather your hands and then go in with your hands. And she was like what she's like using the bar, and I'm like, that's I from her? Oh really, I go soap into the crack you like a bar of soap? No, but if there is a bar, oh, like in a hotel.

Yeah, the hotel bar alone is.

Fine, Yeah, okay, bar in my hand and then go mmm, I'm with you.

I agree with it's soap, though.

My rule is that it's soap, so it's gonna kill anything that gets on it.

I mean, it's it's on it.

It's soap already. You can't get cleaner than soap, and.

It rinses off.

I will say that I've been I've been scrubbing a lot more recently.

Same Oh yeah, yeah.

When I go I'm good, I just just I go no, and it still lingers. My showers have gotten three times as long, which is still three minutes but it's like.

It's pride herself on how quicker showers were, and it was like, well these are these are just these are interfective shower.

You're basically not doing it.

I'm washing myself off all my jeans and blowing myself.

Do you have a loof at? Yeah, that's what I do in the shower. No, I don't blow, it's just hand.

It does feel nice, takes fully at all the dead skin. I feel like you might like it.

It takes too long. I just I'm just too impatient.

You showers, I see that's I hate how long it takes. And I'm a guy. I realize this is like, you know, out of turn, but I hate how long it takes to get ready in the morning.

It takes.

It's like for me, it's like twenty five minutes, and that's every day twenty five minutes.

Does it take you twenty five minutes? It doesn't take me twenty minutes to do full hair and makeup and blow dry my hair. Okay, my hair, we're going to add more time. But what are you doing?

Well?

I go in the shower, I scream for ten minutes and then.

There we go go. It's just the slow side, but a shower. Oh yeah, that takes another.

Forty second, five reps of the slow slide, and then you and then yeah, it just putting all this stuff on your you know, I moisturize my face. I do beard oil, a lot of beard stuff.

And then uh, I, which is your face? How malong?

Are you? Like rubbing it in like little circles and like making sure I just like slap it on.

Well, he's just crying and then he rubs his tears.

I just watched American Psycho for the first time. Christian Bale. Do you guys remember the beginning of that movie where he's like putting all those creams on mm hmm. Anyway, that's a reference to something that doesn't relate to me.

Yeah. Yeah, but you take your time.

I don't take my time as fast as I can. It takes twenty five minutes.

I was watching a Conan clip and Sona, his assistant, was talking about how he applies lotions and how he She's like she was describing this to one of his guests and she was like, oh, he was putting on lipstick. Julia Luis drives his lipstick because she was like, I didn't know this is on video. I'm gonna put on lips that hughes I should would put on some show it's really fun anything, And he's putting on it. She goes, what are you doing? In sone is like he does

Slap on It made me feel It made me feel good.

That my hero Conan also does these things because we both do things fast and like hard, and we PLoP down on things and we throw things, and it just it felt good that there was because usually when you're looking for I've never had a single role model in this or like a single person that is like me. Everyone's always like you're so rough, you don't you don't get to have nice things? And why is am I

You notice it, Chris, Oh yeah, just being like well like yeah, like even like you opening drawers and cabinets.

And like zipping things and everything is just yeah.

You always seem like you're in a hurry and someone's timing you like you're on a game show and they're like, you gotta get it in the.

Luggage.

And sometimes I as a good time to your life, like you'll be like, don't just do this.

I don't think that I probably have saved more time because I try to sometimes slow down because I've been I have to admit I've been slowing down because of you guys, like you're a therapist.

Probably no, no, no, because of this trip.

I don't want to be the one that's like walking faster than all of us. But I swear to God, I'm it's not like because I'm like you guys are so slow. I'm trying to be normal. I'm trying to fit in, and so I've just been walking slower and just like and like just and especially Chris, you are so materialous.

And like shocked right now, Chris, and I know you should. We're like, really, I'm shooked, and I never even say shook.

It's just like this is a revelation.

There's just like things that you guys do that I am trying to emulate, where like if you were like, okay, let me just zip this up. This is an example of what I would do versus what they would do. Okay'm putting the mic down really quick. And this is something you'll have to go look at on YouTube to see my demonstration.

Okay, you're doing. She has a fanny pack.

Okay, oh thank you, Chris. So this is me opening my fanny pack and like taking something out, okay quick, and this is Anya.

Like gently guy, it's likest I can hear the this is podcasting right here.

This is me right that.

Yeah, quick, Well, I would never do it because it's usually hooked.

It's harnessed to me usually, and this is on just she'll be.

Like, yeah, she's like watching each.

Because no man ever looks at a woman and like a woman that's like flaw it's not graceful. But men love women that are just like so delicate. I don't delicate, and they like they work it like a gentle shaft, Like it's just like it's just it's it's so I don't.

Think like a gentle hand job.

Are you and Ally on different like timetables? Like are you moving slower than her? Is she getting frustrated?

It's actually one of the only things we ever disagree about is I will be like walking twenty feet in front of her because I'm just like I gotta go, especially if I'm walking Jack, and She'll be like, can you just walk with me?

That's right, I'm on a faster I'm a fast walker.

Yeah, that's a New York. I think that's part of the New York and you what about you guys?

Noah, I'm usually a fast walker, but I'm usually the one who gets left behind and like getting frustrated for Avy to wait up for me because it hits on my abandonment issues.

What about like just in general, like when you're like leaving for a night out or like something has to get done and is somebody else are you guys like on different Oh yeah.

I always wait until the last minute and I have to like do everything like really really fast, and I'm very frustrated because I know that I'm I should have thought about this a little bit more, and he's always packed.

Like a couple of days in advance.

But I will say that although that I am hasty and I move very quickly, I know exactly how long everything takes me, and I'm rarely if I'm late. It's because I kind of don't care about being late. But if I want to be on time, I know exactly I can get ready in twenty five minutes.

You said you do.

That really is where if you're late, you if you know you're going to be late, then you start slowing down like on purpose.

Yes, yeah, when that's when that's when I've woken up late or something is just out of my hands late, that's when I just start going, oh, I'll just miss the entire lover era. That's what I did for Taylor Swift's concert. Yeah, it's an annoying thing. Chris, how do you feel like we I know how I feel about it.

Tell me how you feel You know I moved my own pace.

No, Chris, Chris is efficient, That's the thing, Chris, Chris Krish.

Chris is efficient.

He doesn't waste any time doing like stupid stuff, but he does move at a slower pace because he's making sure like he will be the one today when we checked out of the hotel in Berlin, he goes back in twice to check the room to make sure there's nothing left. And I'm the one that has to call and say, will you send me my AirPod?

Yeah? Yeah, and leave no charger behind.

I was just gonna say, maybe maybe I was born this way, like slightly slow, which I I bet I am, But also it's the result of a lifetime of like getting hurt because of the zipper thing. So I'm very like I've learned my lesson now I'm going to do things this way.

I don't think I've always warned my lesson because it's not a value to you because you like that. I don't like I have never once. This is a big difference. Here's here's the root of it. People putting on and off shirts or sweaters is so different than the way I do it. Like one time I was I'm always my stylis favorite fittings, not only because they said the best boobs of anyone they've ever seen it, but those

Because they were like, you've seen them naked.

They were talking about, like you see celebrities naked all the time, and they said, without question, Niki Glazer and some good I go better than. And I was listening and they go, honestly yes, And so I was like, do you not know that?

No, I know they're good, but I.

Never knew that they were they were better than like thous and Breeze. That's not a real person, I yessir breath day. It's like, how is that?

Like when I was describing Selma Hayek seeing her the time I saw her, Like.

How is a person shaped like that? Well, that's really nice, It's like that. The point of this was to say that, but it was also to say that one time, this other stylist I was working with he said, I've never worked with anyone that is as fast as you, because usually people are like putting on the pants and then they like button the button if there's a button, and there's like also like you know the tongs that like

So it's always been a shameful thing.

But I think maybe the the this is the exciting time of your life where maybe this will be the chapter of really leaning into accepting who you are and.

And just liking loving myself.

Well, I do like it because I can't stand watching these comedy specials and hearing people talk this slow and delivered.

I like when Ali Wong.

Talks as slow as she does because she it's it's there's a purpose to it, and she's not just slowing down because she doesn't have material, because she does talk very slow sometimes and says I want to drown my daughter. It's awesome, and it's it's it's my favorite.

We're really loving Ally's specials. She can't no wrong, she can do.

And Christmas not really familiar with her comedy and was like, we'll see, and I just love how much he loves her. But then Bill Burr he talks really fast too, which I like. But yeah, I'm grateful that I talk fast because of comedy and think fast for it, but move fast. My body suffers the brunt of that. We'll be back with more show after this. We're back, Let's do a little Reddit dump. Noah, are you ready with some clips that I sent you because I don't even know what I sent you.

But let's review some of them.

Hold on, you move too fast from me?

Okay, I know I didn't even tell you.

This is your redit dump.

That's my old voice where you can really tell the difference.

Read it down, and I'm back to ruining my voice because if I just did that.

Erased all of the doctor's I tells work.

Okay, Noah, what's the Just surprise me because I don't even I sent Noah all the videos I had saved a couple of days ago, and I don't remember which one.

I want to do.

This one. I think it's very upwarding.

This one is titled marathon. Maybe you'll remember it.

Yeah, what what.

One second? So Anya, it's a.

Okay, So what we're watching is is a guy that is his girlfriend.

His girlfriend is on his way. So there's a there's a guy and he's encouraging his girlfriend. His girlfriend is on the bed and she is basically acting like the guy in the relationship, and he's like coaching because basically he's like, this is what I gotta do, right, So, like you know, and so he's like, you got to go. I go harder than that, and she's going and she's getting tired, and it's like, you know, it's a twenty second long video.

You can't just stop.

And the caption is why I last a minute. And it really did like make me feel because I know whenever I'm have you know, in the in the in the past, been on top, which is rare. Once in a while, I try to get up there.

I go, you know what, I want.

To go on a hike, and so I put I go off there and it is so hard up It's so elevation up there.

I you're you're planking first of all, and that's so hard.

But it makes sense that I like men being up there because men are just like have more brawn anyway, so they can like put up with it. But like, do you guys get so exhausted, Like I don't know how you do that?

Everybody should do watch that video and have to do that exact thing for a minute.

I have so many questions about how men have sex. First of all, I've wondered this too, like how do you have the stamina? But also do you when you started having sex where you're like where do I put my knees? Like inside their legs or outside their legs, Like, did you ever worry about your stance?

Did you worry about yours? Yeah?

I was like, what's the right way because in movies women always would do like have their knees.

Up then like or like around them. Yeah, And I was like, feel good to me? And I knew I liked like being really straight legged, oh right, and like ten and I was like, oh, this feels so much better. But no one in movies is like there are no women in movies, like on a tobog you don't like that during missionary though, Like, I think I can't.

Leg right now. I have to think a boat chopstick legs before you pull them apart.

I think I might do it, you know, I think I might have chopsticks legs.

I don't.

I definitely don't.

I don't know. Isn't that weird that I don't. I'm relaxing and max and all cool. Oh yeah yeah when you're coming. Yeah really, I don't think I can have an orgasm like that.

Yeah, I'm saying too much on the pod lately because I'm meeting besties after shows and then it's like they know everything about me.

Yeah, you forget what you reveal. Yeah, I don't. I think I gave it.

I gave a kissing a lot of thought, but sex, I think it was. I was like, he should know because he was much older than me. And I was like, then, I'm if I'm new at something, I don't feel bad when i'm bad at it. Oh, you mean kissing her sex?

Sex?

Kissing?

I felt really bad because I knew that it was a simple thing and I wanted to get it right. But sex was full of dirt, and kissing is disgusting. Everyone kisses all the time and that's somehow okay.

But it's kissing what we do. It's the same you kiss me with what I do. But yeah, it's pumping. Seems hard, It is okay.

Next video, hung out to dry.

Knew that Chris wasn't going to answer it. Last line, it seems hard. It was a good ending. Yeah, did you feel.

Like to end?

I know?

She just made me laugh. I thought it was a funny, same way I liked it.

I wait, you, we're gonna ask you to do that for all of it? You give us a final takeaway?

We won't.

We won't ask for you just when you feel like it's over. You've got to give your final take.

That's a good that's a good idea.

Okay, Okay, So this next one is titled how Adam Brody met Leyton Measter? Do you remember? Why? Oh? Yeah, they're together?

Yes?

Wait, why is this not making it big? Hold on before you press play? Can I try to make this big?

God for us? This is okay?

This goes on a little long, but this was I only picked this because it was talking about It's kind of goes into getting to I do stuff.

Okay, okay, So this is Adam.

Brody wondering if you remember the first time lately entered your consciousness.

I think different time I saw her is when I met her at Canner's, the dalli.

In law Sanduelus.

I used to eat there all the time, and I think Josh. I was there on my own with maybe a friend or two, and Josh happened to be like taking a bunch of the cast of Gossip Girl through like after a prop party for like your first upfronts, and I saw her and yeah that's when I that's when I saw her, and yeah, I was I was smitten instantly, and I was, you know, smitten for a long time.

I didn't.

I didn't get to know her for many years after, even though we even worked together briefly. She she was she's so lovely, and she's she's so sweet, she's so nice, she's so good. And this is to her credit. She remained elusive to me for so long, you know, and

And she already had faith in your love.

She was already letting you go.

She says.

Oh, it's because I knew if we did it would it would be the thing you know, or like you.

Know, Okay, so I can just relate so hard to that guy, the male co host who is too close to the screen, and it's like.

Hmm, I think it was, Oh yeah, so there was that's like the guy from Gossip Girls podcast.

I was making fun of the girl being.

Like she is so lovely, because I just can't stand when beautiful people are also like amazing humans too, and everyone fucking loves them, Like, can't she be a cunt?

I would love for that.

You could just tell the way the girl said it, she probably is an amazing person, and it bugs me. I'm just like enough that she's stunning and is married to this guy from The OC that we all had a crush on.

Not me, definitely not. I had no one on that show andest in me at all. He's the guy that made nerds cool. Wait which show? OC? Oh? Yeah, that Adrian Brodie guy seems cool. Wait that's him. Wait, what's his name, Seth? He was named Seth Cohen on The OC. What's his name in real life? Adam Brody? Adam Brody?

Yeah, yeah, is Adrian Brody the pianist? That guy?

Yes he is, He's the pianist. But yeah.

He also said the word a loof in there, that she was a loof. And by the way, we Chris and I did not, we were going by a lesser known Like there's two definitions of a loof that you just found today. At lunch, he was talking about someone and said they were a loof and we were like, and I'm just like, I don't think that person's a loof at all.

And he's like, you know, just kind of like.

Just not really paying attention to things like kend of going by the seat of their own pants.

Like almost like the head in the cloud type like.

Going by the seat of their own bo pants that too long.

Take the socks from them tonight sandals?

Wait, what's the one that Georgio says that's so cute? Our friend's husband says, it's like, oh, there, I thought you would remember it. Never mind, it's a really cute what is what is your mom's mom.

Says take their socks from them when I play a show, and she means knock their socks off.

So cute.

Okay, waste again. So what does aloof mean?

Babe?

Okay, there's two definitions. One is not friendly or forthcoming, cool and distant, but then the other one is conspicuously uninvolved.

Aspicuous meaning oh I get it, like I'm taking myself out of this situation.

Being very obvious that I'm uninvolved.

I thought it was I.

Thought it wasn't rude.

I thought it was innocently uninvolved. Like yes, like It wasn't something that was rude, agreed, It.

Was just I thought loo was we could see how interesting.

He's just like living their life by their own pants, their own pants.

Yeah, but I just thought that that clip was like, of course, this perfect girl who's.

Like, you know, she's rolling right, it's really cool.

Like was totally didn't even care about Adam Brody, who ended up being her husband. So it's obviously she was attracted to this person, and she was cool.

Enough to not care at all and let it go.

And it's like, write a book, Layton, teach people how you got that way. Maybe your parents should write a book like we should. All every woman should be like that, but no one is my parents.

My dad told me something about my mom that really sounded like what Adam just said in there, about the message in the bottle, like she didn't mind casting that bottle out at sea and never seeing him again, if that was the possibility.

My dad goes, I remember something about your mom.

I met her.

You know, we were engaged six weeks later, but I remember in that six weeks I thought I'm going to marry this woman.

I go, what made you realize that?

And he goes, we got into a little tiff, and I just remember thinking, she can live, she doesn't need me at all, she can take me or leave me, right, And he goes, I like that, and I don't like he didn't want to lose her, but he had the feeling that she was like if you don't like it, basically.

And that is a that is a quality that's got to be attractive, because no one wants someone that like needs even though we've grown up with like you complete me, and that's like what a relationship is. There's something cool about someone that like they'll be okay with that, Like I want that person because you know, do you think I need you?

I do need you.

I mean he wanted to be needed, but you when guys are both rooted in yourselves, you're not going to be sacrifice your values for the other person, right.

I think we're better together, but I don't think that you need me no.

Whatever he says. It also changes. It changes over time.

Like if you're not dating yet, you can't be looking for a partner because you need your needs fulfilled. But if you've been together for like ten or fifteen years and you developed some kind of dependency on the person, for something.

I think, that's fine.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Like Chris always Chris got me chargers for adapters for this trip, and like I thought he got me even a hair dryer he got me, he got he said, and he didn't ask me. He wasn't like, hey, I'm gonna get these things that he just did. And I did not even think until the night before, like maybe they have different plugs, like I would never think of that.

Not that I would never think of.

It, I just knew I didn't need to because I was worn with this guy.

I had that thought.

Today.

I was wondering, I wonder if Nikki thought to herself, Chris, I'll get the adapters.

Or yes I did, because I was.

I'm with him, so anything that we are like, he'll figure it out.

So nice. But if I was.

Going alone, but when you're with Matt, like when you're on you were doing the Flint House, usually on tour it's you and Matt, yeah, and then it's me alone, and it's like, if I was going here alone, I would have been obsessive about like what what.

If they do like this?

Like I was wondering that, well, food wise, I have all food for me. I've prepared. I've had all the adapters of food. I have everything that will make it so that I can actually eat and function here. So I've taken care of that because that's not something that Chris is responsible for for me, right, but everything else like Chris has got it, and the same with you,

You're like, I feel like I learned to like is this tour manager on you or a friend?

And I was like, it's all of both, I think, but I think even if you weren't other thing it was fun?

Why is that fun? It's fun for me? It's like a lark.

I mean, I won't do it again, but yeah, or like it.

Just felt like, let's see what happens here, Like I enjoy that when it's not me.

If it was my drink, I might be mortified.

I'm the same way you're like you do like other people's homework. I like writing jokes for other people, and when it comes to myself it's too much or like it's interesting. It's like, yeah, why is it okay to take up for someone else? But yeah, Krista, there's so many things that I'm like, if I got even today with the Wi Fi issue, I was just like, wait till Chris gets here, Like I he'll figure out the

Yeah, definitely, But then there's also like it'll take me he manages to do something technical that would take you a half hour to do.

Yes, the same thing.

If I was like I need a joke for this thing, it could take me three months to think of something that you could think of in thirty seconds.

Nice, but yeah, it's that is what's nice about having But because I was I was very unprepared for this trip. In every way, and I realized, because it's not like me, I worry about what if they don't have this thing? What if they The funniest moment was when we I started having anxiety, which I talked about on the podcast before I left, about all my European anxiety about what if they don't have this thing and the language and

Are gonna be fine?

And I was just like, you're right, like it's all gonna be okay, But I just get so freaked out and it's nice to like put my worries in your knapsack where you organize them.

But that's like, I think, good couples, you know, obviously have all these wonderful things about each other, but it's nice when you can fill in each other's gaps a little bit, like, yeah, you're not you know, like you you don't travel internationally all the time. I've done it quite a bit more than you. So it's like I wasn't even thinking about like things to be nervous about because you're like, oh, this isn't that hard.

It's so nice.

Last time I came to europros with my sister and she's been here a ton, so it's just nice to have somebody. It's like I got this, I know this train station, I know where they are going.

Brian, do you and Ali what are things that like you like, she's deficient in or great at that you're you know, either deficient in or like how do you guys fill in each other's like sandwiches?

Yeah, she's happy and I'm sad. I think that's the main one.

Something beautiful. Yeah she's beautiful, I'm ugly, she's.

Uh no, that's really it.

It's the optimism versus the pessimism.

She'll come in with like reasons why things aren't so bad and not come in with all the reasons why you should be careful.

Well, let me ask you this.

Because this is often something that every person in my life deals with in a relationship. When your partner complains about something. What do you do you like when you're being pessimistic about something? Do you want her to listen? Or do you want her to offer advice and try to like fix it?

When I'm being pessimistic.

Yeah, when there's like a problem in your life and you're just like it's not gonna work and you're just be you.

Know, yeah, it's all going wrong. Yeah.

What I don't want is for her to tell me why I'm wrong about being sad about this thing.

You know, I want her to listen.

I we've we've talked about this many times, and sometimes it's hard to do because I know that that's not her natural inclination to be like, you're right, that does suck.

Even when she says that.

Sucks, I know that that's just not her and it comes off fake. But that's what you really want to hear when you're like, man, I just did I love my phone broke and now Verizon's really being a pain in the ass, and her natural inclination is to be like, well, you can get another phone, and I'm sure it won't be that bad. But what I really want to be like is, yeah, they suck. We should go kill them all, you know. Like that type of thing, just my negativity.

They're not thinking of the all the problems that could happen. Yes, yeah, yeah, in many ways. In some ways, I.

Mean my thing when Nikki's like catastrophizing or like projecting that something is going to be bad, my thing is like, okay, maybe, but what if it's gonna be good?

Or what if it's going to be great to have that or what if it's or what if it's.

Just going to be not as bad as you think like this, Like you know, even last night, like the the the shows, they could have been a disaster because nobody could have understood a bunch of Nikki's references or jokes or whatever. And it's like, but what if it was, it might be good? And so I mean, I think that's one thing I try to do without being annoying, because you can beat There's like something called what's a

I like that I I am the opposite of when I'm in those things of like I'm ugly, I hate myself, I'm never funny. I want people to go, you're fucking insane right now. You don't, You're you literally don't make any sense, Like I'm sorry you're feeling this way, Like I'm so sad that you're said, like I like that Anny will give me a hug and Chris will like rub my back and like and and and be sweet to me, you know what I mean. But I don't

That's why I'm trying to I always get anxious when when someone's like that because I'm like, I don't know the right thing to say, because I want to say you're crazy, but then sometimes that can trigger the person and be like, don't tell me I'm crazy.

It's really hard to say thing.

I mean it is.

Yeah, I have I have a perfect analogy for for like.

The positive you gotta have those.

It's so nice to have a supportive, optimistic person in your life to tell you those things, and.

Well, it's perfect.

Sorry, I have a perfect analogy for this.

It's like he's like, it's when a sweet tango. It's like you've got a Daviota strawberry.

Right, It's like you're on one side of the street and I'm like, I don't want to go to the other side of the street. It's gonna be shitty over there and it's dangerous. And then your partner is like, we.

Should cross the street.

There could be great things across the street. And then you go, okay, let's cross the street. But before we cross, we're gonna look both ways. That's I think that's our relationship.

Ah okay, that's sweet.

I like that.

And you're gonna hold my hand. Yeah, and if it sucks, you'll admit that it sucks too, Like you'll you'll entertain that.

I like, but how how often are we wrong about what we think something?

Every single time I knew my shows were gonna be fine yesterday, I knew that even when I was crying about it, Like, but I still felt like even if they go wrong, I still suck. And I just tricked them. And that was my point of like, I'm not good at this. I don't deserve to be doing this. Even if it's good, it doesn't matter because it's it's I'm fundamentally stayed. Look at this photograph. This is how you know?

That's also nback damn it. Yes, I love Wait we we what it was it? Noah?

We used to always recall it on the show. Oh, it's been a while since I've made that reference. All right, Well, we covered a lot of ground today in Europe. We will be back in Europe again the next time we you hear from us, and thank you for listening.

I hope you enjoyed the pod.

Thank you Brian, thank you, on You, thank you Chris, thank you, Noah, Thank you besties, and we'll see you.

On the next episode. Can't wait.

Just cross the street with your partner and trust that they'll help you get through it with both pleas