#332 You Don't Know Grace! w/ Greg Warren

a little bit close. Seemed closer, not perfectly close, but yeah. Um, and I'll give us time to edit out all the slurs that we say throughout the show and all the rants I go on about chrystallia or whatever. Um. Oh wait, we didn't take that one out, and there are separate YouTube compilations about it online. Now, Um, welcome to the show. It's um, it's a great day today. I'm surrounded by friends both afar and near. It's Brian Franzie's here. He's

the new permanent sidekick. What's up, Brian? Yeah? Can I just say that I thought of something funny that I should have said yesterday during my Creed story. Yes, and because I felt it was lacking about ten percent funny all day I go, you know what? There was something missing? What was it? I lost sleep over it? Okay, so that Brian, I'm sorry I didn't. Greg's here. He hasn't heard the story. So Greg Warren is here. Wait, hold on,

let's just bring Greg and let me just said. Okay, Brian, Franzie's here on your Marina is here in New York, Noah's here in Arizona. And then with me in studio is Greg Warren, one of my dear friends from UM I mean since two thousand three, I think is when I met you two thousand and three. He is one of the best comedians in the game, has been even since two thousand and three. You were just one of the ones we all looked up to and still look

up to. Just one of the best comics going. And if you've never heard of him, what a treat for you that you get to experience him for the first time with his new special called The Salesman, which is out April twenty first, that is next Friday, correct on YouTube, but you can watch it for free. Directed by n Nate Bargotzi hands selected Greg Warren because Nate you probably know who Nate is he's blowing up, you know, and

one of the best comics out there as well. And if you give you know, Nate gets Nats is choosing now to produce and direct specials of his hero of people that he's looked up to and thinks that more people need to have eyes on. And he selected Greg Warren, which I mean we've all known forever that Greg. Greg is like the um Brian you know this too, like as a Midwest comic that kind of came up in Bloomington, Illinois.

Like Greg Warren is a force. Greg Warren is one of the nicest maybe v nicest, there's a couple in the top. He can be a dick, he's he's generous, he's generous, he is a guy. He's like a Yoda of and then I've never seen I don't know that reference entirely, but he's he's guided so much any comedians that you know and love, like through the process of being a comedian. And he's we'll get into like, um, Greg,

do you want to talk? Sorry, I just keeping about Yeah, I promise, yeah, it's gonna be a big letdown after I know. That's I've had about six meals with Greg in my lifetime, and I have never paid for one of them. That is so true. I was just telling Greg, we so prior to the show, we'll get to Brian Francie's Creed um bonus content. After that guy lost sleep, I was like, I felt like I was going to

award today. I couldn't sleep at all. I'd dreamed He's gonna lose even more sleep because he heard that Nikki also lost sleep over the Creed story. No, I was disappointed in my own not like pulling more out of the Creed story, because I know that there was so much there and I thought I had let the show down as a host. It was. It was nothing to do with you, Brian. Honestly, you brought a great story with um tons of fodder to be had, and I

just did not dig enough. I don't know if this had to do with the Creed story, but I did shouting I sleep last night, Ali, who doesn't sleep in the same bed of me, heard it through the wall. But you woke up screaming scream because they sleep in separate bedrooms. By the way, Greg, Oh really, yes, Wow, Brian Franjie and his betrothed beautiful. Yeah, nice too, Nice oh youth, have smart you went on any other adjectives,

fact that she is a stunners. She's so hot, she's like she was hot, gorgeous, and she radiates warmth and like understanding and kindness, like I want to get her pregnant. I'm like, this woman should be a mother, Like she's so she's just lovely. I really love Alie so much. And um, but okay, we'll get to create in a second. I just want to say, Um, Greg Warren has bought me. He spent thousands of dollars on me, thousands, Greg, He and and other people too, I know. I mean you

extend this to everyone in your friend space. Because we were just talking on the way here, um goes we He met me at Starbucks where they were running behind. So then we went to call these which was a couple blocks away, and we were walking and I was talking about how I spend eight dollars and sixty cents on a coffee twice a day and how it's like

that is so much money. How do people who like don't have money justify getting a fun beverage for themselves, Like the whole time you would just sip it and have guilt and then I remembered I used to feel that way all the time when I would get a Starbucks me stove back in the day when I was broke, and I said, I remember, like I couldn't even enjoy it because I was just guilty that I spent three dollars back then it was three dollars in my day. It's crazy. I do remember you when you were broke,

and that's what you said. I was like that. I remember you were too, because I needed you a warm meal. These like kind of silly sketches for serious radio. Oh yeah, and they played a bunch of them, and Nikki was in a bunch and we would get money for it. You still send me money from that, but like Greg does not need to. I would never expect that, but I could once every two years from that your money.

But I mean we divvied up the royalties and like, you don't need it now, but I remember you were like those checks, like when you were broke, you need Oh you were so generous and wasn't generous. It was everybody's money. You continue to be that way. You're Oh, anytime I'm going to meet you for anything, you always get my Starbucks. You always. Um, you're just you're just

a generous person. Can I ask you if you were walking out of a bathroom stall in a public restroom, and I guess you guys don't really use stalls, but let's say you were using one and you walked out and on the floor were two loose air pods, brand new AirPods, not in the case, but loose. And you're in a hotel lobby, a busy hotel lobby, but the bathroom is completely You walked in, there was no one in there, and you didn't see their pods on the ground.

Maybe they just fell from the sky out of nowhere. But on the way out you see them and you look for the case and there's no one. There's no one in the bathroom. There was no one when you came in. What would you do? Um, I think I'd probably take him to whatever you or God. I mean, I would leave them there because like, whoever lost him is probably gonna come back, right. And I stopped picking stuff up when the pandemic. That was like, my you're a German person. Okay, let's say there's no germs in

this world, in the world that I'm living in. It's a thing that you would like to have that you have a case for at home. That could charge these and they can't be yours. No, you can't do that. Well, I stole something, No can. They can track them. I know Grace is tracking me. You're gonna give you. I can learn on my phone that says the owner of these. So they are on my kitchen counter and they are dead. Because I don't like to say, Grace is the name

of someone that will not murder you. Murder you. She's gonna prosecute you, though. Don't underestimate Grace like she's tenacious. But I think she'll grant me her name, you know, and say, you know what, you were just in a bad headspace that day. You were vindictive about something that maybe had been taken from you figuratively or literally. I don't know, but I will say that I'm feeling massive

guilt over me stealing because Chris the right away. I said this on the podcast s. Chris, I, I just got some air pods are on the floor, and he goes taking the front hosks and I go, no, I just start I lose air pods. I've given the world you air pods. No one's ever returned them to the front desk for me. Actually they have. I'm a very lucky person and things always work out for me and I always get things back that I lose because that it does happen that way. So I should I am

set to lose something important to me? So can I ask? Are these the air pods that are responsible for the first my ear infection? Eight seconds of no those are no, no, no, no no no, So my air pods. Now I have like four pairs of air pods, and because I lose them a lot make yeah, because I go, let's just let's add it to their well, because mine are starting

to fail. They start to like get too much earwax in them anyway, So um, well, that's just interesting because you are a good person, and I always think that you make the good decision. You're you're a good man. I don't know, I hope so, but I'm also thinking, like,

let's say I wasn't okay. The main thing that everybody knows about air pods is they're trackable, Like one't if if they Yeah, if there was like one of those ankle bracets that people that are to roll these happy ire was laying on the floor would you pick that up to no, because they know where tracking device people on parole as they just give a pair of air pods because you're not going to dump those anywhere. These

air pods are amazing. Yeah, even though you're confessing, you're confessing on the podcast, So if she hears, at least you're coming clean. But even if you weren't, she'd be able to track you by your tour schedules. She'd be like, the air pods are now in Grease rather into the Netherlands, and then she'd be able to look it up and

cross check. Oh that's such a good point. Yeah, well that would that would take a lot of Well, I'm going to do something really good for the world because I took these air pods from Grace, who probably already left the premises, was never going to come back for them anyway, and I you know, they would have just sat at the front desk forever and someone at the front desk would have stolen them. But I gotta put some good out in the world. Okay. So but yeah, Greg,

you always used to hum. You always would buy me dinner and stuff. You're just a generous person. But um and and just yeah, Greg, was Greg and I have been friends longer than any of us have been longer than I've been friends with any of you guys. So Greg's the best. So you guys can like suck it, and um yeah, I was a baby comics starting up and just very much looked up to Greg and he

taught me. You taught We were just talking in the I don't I called these about like you taught me many rules that I don't follow, but like that were that. I you know that, God, you have a system. You could teach a comedy class, and I know that it seems like an insult, but you do. You give people. You give comics hope, but you also dash their dreams.

Yeah at times as well if they're I'm not religious, but if there's some sort of hell, it's gonna be like me sitting in a room just watching me blaberon about advice to young comedy, just watching footage, Nicky, I'll tell you you need to be more clean. That's the thing that's important. You're not going to make a billion

dollars of you. Well, you're not wrong. You just told me that one of our friends can do twenty five minutes clean, and I there was like this burning sensation in the back of my skull of jealousy and like I need to be more clean now you I just want to challenge myself, you know, I just want to prove that. I mean, I have done it. I've done yes, whatever you put your mind to. Well, that's very nice,

I know, and I've said this a million times. Like the thing that bothers me is that, like Nikki can act. We do these dumb sketches and they haven't cast anything huge yet in an acting role, which you may not even want to do it because it's such a pain and it's all those auditions. You got to live in La all the time. But that's Nicky can act, And I thank you for saying you can act. It's I learned that I can act recently because I was pretending

to do something. What was the circumstance. I was totally poking about something. But someone believes me so much, that knows me really well, and I was like, I'm just a really good actress because someone that you know, like, but I have to be comfortable to act, like that's the you. I can't just break it out of nowhere. I'm not like um Man. I was watching Do you watch Succession? I watched. I just got uncomfortable with it. Really, they just do such horrible things. See, you're a good person.

When you can't take it, you can't even watch that's not a good person. It's just like ad what do you mean? Like that means that you will do something bad then if you watch too much of it or it's like you're, well, I don't think I'm going to drive some dead body into the when they did that, oh, when that happened the end of season one? Did you watch? You watch them out? Did you watch for some reason Game of Thrones? Fantasy? It was fantasy, it was a little less real and uh a lot of sex. But

tell me about OCD relating to this. I just I have like I know, I know, I know I have like OCD with guilt stuff. Yeah, there's something just when I'm around bad things, it's just for some reason, like bothers me that that that like, well, that person is capable of doing that. Maybe what do you do? Stand up? How are you around comedian? I don't know, because well,

I mean I'm not saying I'm a great person. No, No, I'm not, like I just yeah, I don't know there's something about those things, and that's the trend in all this TV now is like it's just horrible people doing horrible things to other people and there's no redeeming like Ozark I was. I watched it for, like, I don't know, a couple of seasons. On the last one, I was like, No, it's great acting, it's goods all. This is great, but I'm not watching anymore. I can't do it. You can't.

That's interesting. I never have our point. TV didn't used to be like this. I used to be I think the two people live with a guy and it's crazy. That's a good show. Love, that's such a show. This is why I think this is the number one reason, not the number one, number four reason why Ted Lasso was so successful, because everybody on that show is good. I say, lass, oh, no, what. I'm so annoyed by

his character. I know I'm the only person he is so corny, and I know it's supposed to be that way and it's like a feel good show, but so it feels like we're making a TV show, Like I can't get swept up in the reality of it. It just and what I have. I can't wait to see you. I love you, You're my best friend. Like this that's always a little biby by this season, listen, one of my good friends produces the show. I'm obsessed with Ted Lasso.

I have been since it came out during the pandemic when we all really needed something feel good like that. I mean, it just it just hit everything. And then I thought second season was just as enjoyed. I mean, I've loved it, and then I've only seen the first

two episodes of the third season. But I will say that Ted to me, I'm not as invested in his character as I am and all the other characters because Ted to me seems like this sexless because the sexless part of it is what gets on my nervous, Like I know that he has sex with that one girl, Sassy, Sassy, Yes, who was so cute. Oh god, oh my god, I could have predicted that. That's amazing. Yes, yeah, um so if Sassy's out there, Sassy and Grace, we have information

for you. Don't worry she's gonna burst. I want to say, like, I think that shows awesome. And Mark Gross, my buddy is a writer, told me like it's not such an accident. That that show is as good as is because their writing staff is like, it's insane twenty show runners that it's like all these guys are like that, guys and girls, and like the best writers in Hollywood are all on that show. Yeah, it's why is Ted. I don't hate the show, Ted Lasso, the character. We could clip it.

Let's dropping on you saying I hate Ted Lasso right now. I hate the d sir. I want Ted to go to I love the therapy episodes. I want to hear more about the suicidal dad or whatever it was. I want more edge Ted, what is with your mustache? Talk to us? What where's the darkness? And I agree, I just want to Yes, I want to see him getting some kind of relationship. It just feels he's he's tried.

Last episode, he's he did try to try to get a relationship with Sassy's point of yeah, I guess what I really wanted and that I was so disappointed of and I've already talked about this was Um Rebecca's character, the older woman Um getting with the young soccer player guy whoa who? I liked? That is it? Back on? Oh? I can't wait to catch Okay good But Yeah, speaking of acting succession, I watched um uh Jeremy Strong, who played the um Kendall. I watched his like things of

things I can't live without. Anya, you said you watched it, and I didn't want to watch it because I just don't like separating Jeremy from Kendall. I don't want Kendall to be Kendall. I'm like so obsessed with that character. Turns out there is no separating the two. They are.

It's the same person and it's so good. You guys gotta watch this Esquire YouTube video of Jeremy Strong talking about his favorite things because generally people do this, you know, ten favorite things or one of the things I can't live without. And it's like face creams and like hair gel or like a pair of shoes. And he has just like knickknacks that he's taken from every you know set he's or every movie he's done, like almost like

a serial killer. Like it just keeps little trinkets. Grace's iPod play in the East Village and I have a golden thread from one of my jackets from just like what Yes, So he's so intense and fascinating. Okay, when we get back. We are going to hear what Brian left out of the story yesterday when he told us he went to his first concert and it was a Creed show at Jones Beach and he went there to meet a crush that then that didn't show up, and he was not only did his crush not show up,

but he had to watch Creed. So I hope that wasn't the joke he was gonna make, but we're gonna hear it when we get wasn't. We'll be right back, all right, We're back before we get to Creed and and Brian's rest of the story. I just want to say this weekend, I will be in Pennsylvania, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, where Jesus was born, And uh, why do we Hampton, New Hampshire. Why don't I ever remember that? Because it's never It's a city I've never heard of before until

it showed up on my tour schedule. And it's a city where a casino is in. So those are often cities that you know, you never heard of before. But Hampton, New Hampshire two shows that night Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Tickets still available for that one. Um New Hampshire. The first show is sold out, second one come on out, and then next week a week off, the week after next week.

Next week I'm going to Taylor Swift in Houston and I'm doing Family Feud with my parents and one hundred thousand dollars Pyramid, so that'll be fun look for those. And then the week after that, I will be in Tucson. Noah will be there, not on stage but back in the wings, which is very exciting because she lives in Tucson. And then tickets still available to that, and then after that, I will be in Vegas with David Spade at the Venetian. Tickets are going fast for that, but there are still

some available. And that is our opening weekend for our Vegas residency, and it's very exciting for you to be there for that or to choose any of the dates that we're going to be there. There's four different opportunities to see me in Spade there and it's going to be such a fun show and I can't wait for all of them, so I hope you guys come out. And then Europe, and I'm going to Europe, and I just have to say any of the European besties we

do not have meet and greets, and I'm sorry. Maybe there'll be some kind of way that I can do, like a meet up with you guys after the show at some kind of I don't know. I'm going to try to make it happen. But if you can't meet me, please don't hate me. It's not my fault. It's venues. It's like, it's just legit. Sticks. Um, It's not because I think I'm better than you or I'm just keeping myself away from you. I'm not Taylor Swifting yet, not that she thinks she's better. It's just like, I just

it's not legit. Ana, Can you explain it? Why can't? Okay? Yes, so just blame the EU. Anyway, let's get to Brian's Um. Really, that was the thing. I mean, I was thinking because I was I told the same story to Ali afterwards, and I was like, I told this story and then I just said it in the story and I was like I should have said that. I yeah, that's the I My crush didn't show up, and then as a reward I had to watch Creed. That's so yeah, that

was the joke. Did man, That's why that's why you No, no, no, this comes up. I'm glad that you brought this up. I'm glad that I did your joke, because not only we don't really care about what your creed joke was, what this is interesting. This is why this is interesting to me. You were up all night regretting a tiny thing that you missed out do it. Not up all night, but you woke up, you know, screaming with a devil on your chest or whatever was happening to you and

your bed alone, um because of this regret. I mean, how relatable is that where you do some kind of appearance or something and you have this one thing that either shows up later or was there before, and you knew you were going to do it, and it just you forget and it's the best thing that you could have done, and it's the thing that would have changed the course of your life, you know. And I think

that's so relatable. And luckily, you know, this is the podcast you can jump on the next day and say, hey, I want to do this. But a lot of times you can't. There was one time you can't. I mean, I appreciate, I really appreciate you taking this with arms wide open to oh he's back, he's back, baby. Yeah. So the one time it happened to me was during the roast of It was the last one I did. It was ALC Baldwin, and so I had I had already done my set and I was comp it was

it went well. There was a couple There was a couple jokes I forgot. I've talked about this a lot where I forgot to do two jokes which ended up being see this thing. The whole time I'm sitting there and I realized, you know, when I'm backstage copying and pasting, like I'm in my trailer, it's last minute, they're giving me extra jokes at the end that other people are

too scared to use. So I'm editing my set, and you know, something would happen where I would I would copy a bunch of text and then I would press you know, apple X to cut it, which means it's it's copied, but you got to place it somewhere or it gets lost in the world. I would Yes, I would cut it, and then I would someone would go, hey, do you want to They'd come to my trailer do you want a coffee? And be like, yeah, actually, can

I get it? And then I go back to it and it's gone and it's not been pasted, and I'm backed and then so but then that one goes to prompter and then I do my set, and afterwards I'm like, oh, someone does like a similar type joke and you can. I mean, I'm sure there's a footage on my face just going like, oh God, I forgot this joke because there was this one joke I did about Caitlyn Jenner,

which I feel more good, more good, gooder. I think the word's good er about doing it now because she's like now, like you know, she's anti trans now, even though she's like I don't even fucking understand what's going on with Caitlyn Jenner. Chris last night told me it's all about getting attention. Like whatever you can say to just keep getting attention is get like what these not trans people? But like what you know, celebrities, So yes,

so pretty much celebrities narcissists do. So anyway, the joke was, um, oh it was, and I've done it on Stern, but it was like Alec Baldwin. Alec Baldwin has a podcast called Here's the Thing, which is also how he introduced Caitlyn Jenner to me backstage God, which really made me laugh. It's so inappropriate, I'm very and it's not even an anti trans joke. It's just like what is going on

with you? So it could have been when when when she was bruced, you know, you could have said that, So it was so I I but I don't regret doing that because it does strike me as pretty anti trans and it could have been like a world of issues for me. And then I got to do it on the Howard Sterns Show as like jokes that I didn't do that, we're too so it ends up being good.

But the one that I regret so much was at one point, Jeff Ross is doing his set and he's done a bunch of jokes about me already that of like either I'm not attractive or not whatever it was, and it's it's you know, that's just the rules of the game, and so I'm like, ha ha. So it's

perfect because he's already insulted me. And then he kind of gets parched at one point and he has no water up there, so he I'm the closest thing, so he reaches down and takes my water and takes a sip and then he places him back down and just three seconds too fast. I thought of the idea to just pour it out behind me, just like he touched it and just like like which it would have been so funny, but I waited. It was just three seconds too long. It would have been missed. So then I'm

kicking myself about that. There are just those moments where you go that would have been the defining my career um or just in't like you just have those moments with people and arguments or like what you should have said to someone to keep so they wouldn't break up with I don't even know, like do you are you haunted by regret? I mean smaller mostly just like yeah, but it's tiny, dumb stuff. I mean I just got creed stuff. Yeah, I just yeah that yeah, that kind

of thing. Yeah yeah, No, I mean I didn't do anything horrible like steal somebody's eye, Like I just got done editing a special and there's just these there's there's this moment, it's this joke and it's the smallest thing, and I know it's not gonna matter, but to me, I'm like, what what were you thinking? Why? Wait? What

was can you tell us what it was? Because just to show how Soto about so it was, I used to sell pringles, yes and back and like when they came out, Um, the government got clear about what you mean when you said sell pringles. It wasn't like on the sidewalk outside of door to door. I was big accounts grocery worked for Procter and Gamble, and you would sell princles to grocery stores. Yeah. Yeah, it's funny because I remember when I first got that job. I was

talking to like this girl in the bar. It was when I was just still in college or right after. It was like, yeah, I just got a pretty big job of him selling you know, she's like door to door. It's so funny when you get so used to what you do for a living that you kind of say it in a way that does not convey the yeah it actually is. So you worked for Proctor and Gamble, which is an interesting facet of Greg's careers, which he had a he was he didn't just have a day

job like walking dogs or working in the cafe. He was you're an executive or like a sales exact. Yeah, I was like mid management. I was doing well, but you're I mean, Greg went to West Point, Greg was a is a state champion, UM wrestler. I mean, he's a hard worker. He's someone who achieves the you know, the limits of He like pushes him helf and he's just he's just an achiever. Um and so, but you gave that all up to do comedy because saw you

did that. Yeah, you gave it all achieving, gave up achieving. He said, you know what, I want to stop reaching the highest levels of whatever I out to do, and I'm gonna do a much more comfortable person with mediocrity. There's no mediocre away. Greg does comedy. And you'll see that in the Salesman April twenty first on YouTube. Make sure mark your calendar is to check that out. Um. Okay, so, so tell us what you said. So the joke was

like it was, it's true. And when they launched pringles they were doing well, and then the government stepped in and they were like, hey, you're not made up of one hundred percent potatoes. You're made up of corn and soy and wheat and potatoes. So you can't call yourselves

potato chips. You have to call yourselves potato crisps got it and the joke should say, I should say, and we did, and people were like, yeah, we still like them, you know, like and the government was like, you know, you know, they're not made hundred percent potatoes, and people like, yeah, we kind of figured that when they were uniformly stacked on top of each other in the perfect shape of a horse saddle. You know, those gummy orange sliced candies

not real oranges. We figured that out. But this is how small. It's because I didn't. I forgot to say the thing. Yeah, okay, so I said, um, and we did and and and people are like, yeah, we still like them. You didn't say they didn't care. I didn't know. I said. I didn't. I forgot to say, and we did. I go did yeah, and I go And people were like, yeah, we still like them. I forgot. I forgot to say,

and we did. And it just makes the joke a little more specifically still clearer, yes, so that they understand the punchline a little bit more. Clarity is such so important that's crystallized. That's one of the biggest problems. I think when I watch stand ups, is I go, the joke you're telling is hilarious you are, and you're thinking that it's not funny enough because you're not getting the response. The audience doesn't understand. You're not help you're not holding

their hand to the finish line. You're kind of just going like, come on, come on, and they're kind of just they're figuring it out. They get there, but you gotta be you gotta be so crystal clear. And that's what leads to people sometimes over explaining things, whereas oh, yeah, you don't. And my biggest pet feeve is like, you guys know about this tender thing. Well, it's this thing where like everyone knows what tender is shut off and I know you have to fill twenty minutes and you're scared,

but we don't need to know. Like the one person who doesn't know tinder, you don't need that person's laugh. Everyone else is on board. You're you. You don't over explain, and yeah, because I remember, I mean not only you, but I just remember the one thing that really got through to me Chris Porter one time at an open mic and Stanford and Sons in Kansas City, who was like kind of the Greg Warren of a comedy scene

there of like everyone's scared of him. He's had some success and U and he was just the best Tom Yes, so funny Chris Porter. Really yeah, I want a good friend. That helped me out a lot in the beginning as well. But he I remember at the time, we were not friends. He was just this intimidating tall guy that would kind of just you know, walk into the open mic and watch from the back. He was like almost too funny

to like go up, you know. And so he called me to the back and he's a Glazer and it was the first time I've been summoned by Chris Porter. And I walked back and he's like, tell the joke, and I was just like what he goes, tell the joke. And I couldn't understand what he was saying because I was just so like scared of him even talking to me. But what he meant was shut stop rambling. And I still do it. I mean I still I watched myself.

I just posted a clip today and it's full of likes and ums and it's like, you shouldn't be liking and umming Special Glazer. I overliked on this, I was saying right now, I liked so much on this Special it is an affectation. Yeah, Luckily I don't think it was ruined the whole thing. But you're not a woman, so people aren't fine tuned to go to dismiss you. It became it was just affectation. It was like part of the character that I was, and I do have

a little bit of an awkward character. Um. I feel like you are very much there is I was just saying this to Greg. You know, I don't like stand ups who completely transform on stage unless they acknowledge it. Like I do a character Larry the camera. But when you're talking to someone at the comedy cellar at the table and then they go downstairs and you go watch a set and they're doing a completely different voice, and and they don't acknowledge it, That's where I go, what's

going on here? Yeah? This isn't I don't mind a character if we're all aware that this is a character. Um. But you I think are very true to um, more so than ever to who you are now. But you, yeah, you get amped up, you have there has to be here. You're a little dopeier. You're a little dopier on stage. Yes, yeah, um, thanks, yeah, yeah, yeah, you play into well you, and you've You've got done a really good job, I think because I've seen your progression.

Even even when I first met you, you were like the great I'm but now I realized like you were. You were just like a type. Yeah, you were like a new headliner. But to me, I had barely two minutes, so to me it was like extraordinary. But you but you were really good back then and your bits stand the test of time. But um, from even back then, I mean Greg just redid a Taylor swift and rerecorded a lot of your bits from back in the day

to release and they still hold up. Yeah, I mean Chris, like my boyfriend, Yeah, Chris went down and filmed these things because I started, I was never doing social media and I had a few clips. Yeah, and I ran out of clips and I was like, why these clips you can't even find? So Chris like smart went down and just He's like, I'm like, we can't produce a special. But he was like, yeah, yeah, let me figure it out.

So Chris just shot this thing. Oh. I remember when he told me I can't hang out with you this week. I'm going to Arkansas to shoot Greg's four. Really, I think flute man is very accessible on YouTube. You can probably just pull it from that. You're so right. But no, Greg, well, no, Chris and I are such Greg fans. I mean we quote your jokes to each other. Chris is the biggest Greg Warre fan. It's it's so sweet and um, but I want to just talk about um. I like some

of the stuff that you get into. You know when you were first talking about you just have like vulnerable stuff. The one that sticks out to me. And during the pandemic, Greg and I would meet at Caldi's Coffee shopping Kirkwood, Missouri constantly to like talk about bits and work on bits. And I think it was there that you first told me about. And I don't know if this ended up in your special. I think it did where you're doing

sit ups in the park. Yeah, it didn't go in and you just I just remember that I have that joke still. You gotta do it. Well, you just to say what happened here? I don't totally remember. I'm gonna I don't help, but I'll tell you, but you just tell us. It's so funny. It was an historia and

I was in the park. Oh yeah, that's right. And I was doing sit ups in this group of like middle school girls rode by on their bikes and one of them started counting my situps and she was doing it like not in a supportive way, like she was like, one, you're fat. Two you're old. Free. No matter how many sit ups you do, you're not gonna look as good as you did when you were forty four. You didn't even look that good when you were forty and the like. And I don't remember all of it. It's it was

a something about me and Eminem's in the Walgreen parking lot. Yeah, I mean, I'm always interested in like food stuff, body stuff, and like as a man, when I see a grown man who, by all accounts seems just like I mean, you were a a wrestler, and like you just are. You're like an athletic, like you're like a guys guy

into sports. But then you hear you talk about like you know, shoveling oreos in your face and like the parking lot in the car, it makes me really hell Yeah, that so many people can relate man like, and I don't think men really talk about like their like food problems or whatever and like and there and so or like the st or even like you going on walks like that was a real when you started talking about but you know exactly what. I don't know what you're

talking about. You have a problem with me walking. Greg used to have a bit about like I just like you know, I started walking like I have a walk now, like a walk that and that's like a part of your life when you can do a part of your life where you have a walk. Like your neighbors said, hey, are you going on your walk? I was like my walk, my walk, like like no, and I'm not gonna go

watch my stories. Yeah that was so good that that, Yeah that, I'm so glad you remind me yet because you know how you do a special okay, and then you're like you have to start over, and I am don't you got no dying right now? And I'm like, oh no, I have this other thing that hasn't been out there yet that that's now I have a little

yeah material. I'm I'm starting to feel dry as well with my I'm at this part with my special, like well I talk about feeling dry and my stand up, but I'm at this part of my stand up where

it's like the jokes have been working. They're kind of like what they are, and I'm getting kind of bored with them, and it's getting to this place of like it's almost like in a relationship, like the honeymoon period is over with my jokes of these of this new batch, and I'm kind of just like I need something new

to come in there trying to open my success. I want you are I wanted to feel like every time I tell like I don't know if this is going to work or like let's push the bounds, and when it's yeah, you're right, when it's safe, I'm kind of just like, what's what's next. So I'm excited to go on the road this weekend because I do have some new ideas that you know, give me life, give me hope, Like, well, one joke can breathe life into an hour set. One joke it can make you be like, oh that was

a good set. Yes, I did that thing. Did you see that line? And I'm sure people like our friends my new line. No, I didn't see the thing, man, Yeah, did you see that thing where I did the thing where it was like yes, Well, the one new line I have that I'm obsessed to with that I don't even want to share on this pisite will just ruin it because it's just one little joke. It's maybe the best joke I've ever had and it's just a one liner. And fucking Chris wrote it, and I'm so and it's great.

He wrote one in my special. Yeah he has a joke from it. He wrote we were in doing a show and great. He's not a comic, hey man, um, and you know crazy, He's like, I don't this thing right there. I'm like, oh, you had to listen to like thirty minutes of him going like, I know I'm not a comic. I would never even to be able to do what you do. And the thing is, you're so programmed for it to not be a good idea ninety percent of a time, it's just a call back

from comics. Just they just got comic so the worst. Hey man, what if you said flute man again? I'm like, yeah, yeah, like but Chris says this thing and I'm like yeah, wait, wait, wait a minute, wait, wait say that. I'm gonna write that down, this son of a bitch in paraphrase what you just said. I just totally And the joke was an eight and he made it at ten. That's whe I'm like, you're not going to improve on this joke. It took yeah, yeah, And I was like the one

he gave me he just said as a joke. He was just you know, it's almost like a play on words. I'll just say what it is. It's it's it's about He was saying like, um, you know, I uh. He made some joke about a trans sister radio and just saying like you have a trans sister and it was just trans sister radio and just trans and I was like that is great, and he goes, I don't know what you're gonna do with it, and I go and then that's where the magic happens, where it's like how

do I make that into a joke? How? I mean, it's no you And we've always said this, like Gross talks about it like you work backwards better than anybody.

I know. Oh that's nice. Yeah, because like I'll be like, I I'm such a like I have to be like, okay, this is this thing that I happened or this thing that I saw on these and then we just move it to like now it's going to be absurd and we're going to You're like, I hear that, I see the end, So now I have to go I have to write this thing to get to the thing that

I know is going to be a good joke. Yeah, because I need the guarantee that there's something really good to pay off at the end of this, whereas like when I'm working with something that's just like I think this could have legs, like there's not that promise of the great ending. I need the I need the that reward,

and then I build backwards. I think that's also the thing to a Franjie's story without the thing that, yeah, you know the creature, Is there any sort of discernible when it's like everybody knows there's this got to be this ending, and then it doesn't happen. She didn't give it to us, can I lost sleep west Side and I didn't hear it felt something in Yeah, there was a Chris Convey joke that made me laugh out loud.

I still think about it. It was, um, we were in the parking lot of the Ludo shows in Saint Louis and there was this person in the booth, the parking attendant in the booth, and then we left and then we came back and the parking attendant, uh like, wasn't there anymore, And just as quick as he can go, he said she just couldn't handle the booth. And I thought that was so funny. I don't get it. You don't get it. Oh to the truth, you can't handle the couldn't handle. I was like, oh, I was like

the booth ladies gone. She just could handle the booth, just like that. Okay, there there is a He does great word play, which I you know, punt, some could say dad joke puns, but the level he does the Matt, I'm always tickled by. Last night we were doing this thing. We were at the soccer game and my sister brought her kids and so it was kind of like babysitting the whole time and kind of corraling these little kids running around, and he's so good with kids. I've never

seen a little girl love her aunt's boyfriend. Like it's just just to me. I would have been like, oh, who's this guy, Like my aunt's a boyfriend. I don't even know what that is, like this weird guy. But she was so obsessed with them she wouldn't say good bye to me. She's four. She just would say she would call me poopy, and then she would go like buy Chris, and she kept like giving him hugs, and

I was just like, what's happening. So we started playing telephone where I would whisper something and then she would go whisper at him and tell him, and it was It's a fun game with kids because it makes them run back and forth, so it's less having to like hold them and wrangle them. So at one point she comes up to me and she can deliver some message from Chris, and she goes, will you marry me? Just kidding,

I just hit me. Like. One of the reason I think you guys are good is like because both of you guys do that thing where you just play those dumb games I used to do with you all the time. I had this friend, my friend Carol from high school, like one of my favorite people in the world, and

her daughter. We ran into her daughter at Starbucks and this was a long time ago when you were there with me, and she was talking about going to cheerleading camp, and me and Nikki just immediately started doing this bit where Nicky's like, well, I mean I want to go. I'm like well he can't go, Nikki, She's like, well I could go, I could go. Is there a age got off? They say that I can't. Yeah, they're just

laughing sort and Nikki's playing it right. She's like, no, I mean, do you want me to do a cheer? I can remember too late. And then Chris. Chris did this thing when a show we were doing I think I told you about it, where he was like somehow

we got this thing going. We were just annoying everybody where Chris was like speaking like fake Italian, yeah, yes, and I was just I was interpreting for my friend here thinks of that very very verio, very legs of the pizza thigh, and I was like, what my friend is trying to say is he wants he wants to

know if you'd like a piece of pizza. And I love Chris one because he was He stayed with me for half an hour and it was there was everybody was when you guys are doing bits where I literally just go, where where are kids that I can play with? Because this is this is too immature from me. I want to play telephone with Poppy because this is intolerable. There. Yeah, there was one that he was doing on the phone with me where he kept sending me jokes and I couldn't get out of it. I'd go like ha ha

ha and then ask a normal question. He'd keep responding with a joke. And it got to the point where I just wrote him back and I said, this is this is fun, but this is borderline not funny anymore, and I don't want to be a part of it. Like I had to get like stern with him, like please stop this bit double down and then it gets funny. I'm really excited on your new special about a particular bit that I didn't even know you were going to do. But I went to the I went to these tapings.

By the way of Greg doing it was so funny, it's so good. I'm so excited for people to see it. Um. But Chris and I went and uh, it was in Kentucky. It was really fun. And as I watching the show, all of a sudden, I start to hear a very familiar story and I was like, wait, I was there for the and then I was like, oh my god, I am in a bit. It was totally it is so flattering to be in your bit. Was this, Yeah, you want to tell everyone, no, you tell it was

during the pandemic. Yeah. So during the pandemic, me and Nikki drove to Bloomington, Indiana to do a show for the comedy act there. And we're just like doing a show to help raise money thatase clubs were about to go out of business. And we were like we had been writing during the pandemic. We didn't have anywhere to do it, and like you had to wear masks on

stage or whatever. So we stopped with the Starbucks and and I go to the bathroom and I come back and Nicki's like, like it's Starbucks member during the pandemic. They didn't want you to go in their bathroom. Yeah you could go there, but there were signs up that don't come in here. It's like skull and crossbones or what like, you know, like there's probably COVID in here, Like they didn't keep the can't go. Yeah, yeah, you

can't go in the bathroom. So I just learned, you know, the staff has to go somewhere, so they're open, they're not locked. Just go and when you go, commit act like you know what you're doing and do not pause. Just go. So I go, I just head down, go come out. Nikki's like, I gotta go to I'm like, we'll just go. She's like they're gonna say something. I'm like, breaking the rules. Yeah, you're do you like they're gonna say they're gonna say something. I'm like, I promise you.

They weren't cone in front of it. They didn't have a go it was a cone. She's like, but I watched Greg do it, and he's so confidently just walks in and they're so busy at the bar, and like with all the drinks they didn't notice, but also your second going seconds dangerous. They already might have caught wind of this. But I was like, I was like, Nikky, just do it, just stop it. She's like they're gonna say something, they're gonna yell at me and whatever, and

I'm like, Nicky, just just go. So she does. Finally, like she goes and she walks, and I swear to guide I did not have this idea until like literally three steps from the bathroom, I go, ma'am, you're not supposed to go in there, and Square the Starbucks goes, He's right, man, you cannot go in, and she was like on the verge of never speaking to me again. I had to go, and oh I loved it. I loved it, but I was so mad because I had to go so bad, and you know, we have to

go so bad. And then you've decided that you're gonna go, your body starts going like get ready. I'm at the precipice of being like I'm ready exactly, and I'm so embarrassed because now I've been like busted for trying. It was like it brought back all these memories of getting caught stealing, like it was just and so then I was so and so then we have to wait for a drink and I've just been called out in front

of the whole cafe. I try to be like he just used it, you know, And then Greg is so apologetic immediately he was like I'm so sorry and like it's fine, but I'm kind of annoyed because I have to pee so bad. So then we leave and Greg is like, um, and you did double Oh god. Greg's like, I don't worry, I've done this. There's another bathroom right on the same exit at a Panera. You can go in there. And I'm just like okay, good. So we

drive this Panera. I get in their same situation. Man, you can't use I'm like hi, And then we went to a great sweat trip. But it was it was so funny, just just that moment where you there's all that is. What's kind of thrilling about being a comedian is that you risk a lot with with jokes or bits. You do more than most. I mean, I don't enough, but that like that one, and you have to be I was like, I don't want to lose a friend

over this, right, she's going to kill me. Compulsive, it was, it is compulsive because it's just that was worth it. I mean, it's definitely worth it because it's like a it's it's a great joke and it's in your special and I'm I'm so proud to be a part of it. It makes me feel so cool. In fact, you performed at my um at my old high school, at your old high We went to the same high school. Actually,

and my sister is a teacher there. Now, oh yeah, she was there and was like, Greg doesn't joke about you. It's just some side of the Noah watched your special, I think last night. It was like, right, there's a joke about you. I was like, I know I was there, so it is it's just so cool to be name checked in a joke. I think one other time Amy Schumer said, um, I have a friend, um Nikki who keeps losing weight, and I'm like, she's out of my phone,

out of my life. Like, so there was something about that. I was like, oh my god, I'm skinny and Amy joke, Like I love any kind of name check. It's it's just so it's so nice. Um. Yeah. And I remember telling like Tim Chris's brother, Yeah, Sean, Yeah, who opened for you? And like, I'm older than you buy a long shot and I was doing it before, but and those guys are not there, you know, they're way like you know they're openers. Yeah, And I like told him

they were like, oh god, did she kill you? They were like they're like, man, you're like one of them. Only if I would have done that, she would have killed me. I would have been like you think you are. I mean, I would have respected it, but I would have gone a little bit like that's on the line.

I normally wouldn't do it. I was just like, it's perfect. Well, I do that stuff a lot, like I feel like even yesterday I was or two days ago, I got to do like interviews with the US women's soccer team, like the Cody they're like social media guy is a fan of the podcast. Shout out to Cody, thank you so much for this opportunity and for the tickets last night to the game. But he asked me if I wanted to do like a little bit with them, and I just had like a tiny mic and was asking

them questions. And I had prepared so many funny questions, most of which I couldn't use because they were just like kind of two out of line. But there was there's this thing why it didn't work the way I wanted to is like I realized when I go into these situations where these girls don't know who I am, a lot of they didn't know, and I know people are like, oh, they just didn't, you know, there's too much media. I don't even get offended with people don't

know who I am at all. That there's not even a part of me that's like, oh, don't you know so? And I didn't really know who they were either, even though everyone does apparently, so we were both kind of in the dark about each other. But I when I go into those situations you need. Even when I was shopping with Paris and Kathy Hilton, which I talked about on the podcast couple of weeks ago, I did a

bit on Paras Hilton's reality show. It's hard to be funny when people don't know that you're funny without someone else there to kind of like co sign on it. Like if I would have just had a producer there who you know, Cody was filming it, but he's behind the camera and he's more on the soccer side of things, so if I say something out of line, he's not

gonna laugh. If I would have just had you need someone there, Because when you're a comedian out in the world and people don't know you're a comic, and you take chances like that most of the time, which it happened to me until I became a comedian, like my whole life saying in appropriate things and getting just like why would you say that? You know, you get that reaction more so, and so it's it's always this gamble of saying something that just is a little bit over

the line and isn't people aren't ready for it. And I feel like that happens a lot to me where I think I learned a lesson in doing that, where next time I will just bring a friend to be able to laugh with me, maybe not even in the moment, but later about it, because it will make me more comfortable because at least I made Chris laugh, or at least I made Brian laugh, or at least you know, we could walk, we can talk about on the car

ride home. Whereas if I'm saying a joke that bombs with these soccer players who are just like, who is this girl, it just I feel so alone. Tree falls like yeah, yeah, yeah, there has to be somebody, So I just I think I just need someone else to coast. You just kind of need to be known as a comedian when you go into those situations, so people kind

of expected out of you. But at the same time, sometimes they expect too much and they they laugh at everything you say, and you're like, I haven't even said anything funny yet you're giving me too much credit. Yeah, God, that's um. It makes sense to me sort of that they don't know who you are, because athletes at that they're just it is laser focused on like yeah, they probably watch and they do anything A comedian that's a

soccer comedian. Yeah, yeah, Like like I just because I know wrestlers and they're just they're pretty um that I mean, I guess the question I just kept wanting to ask is like, what are you going to do after this? Like this, I just worry about, like what are you gonna do? I mean, they're gonna coach soccer or they're gonna I know, but like is that the only path? No, they don't. Yeah, I mean it's a sad question though. It's like asking a stripper. A lot of players get

depressed after they after professionals. That's that's what I wanted to get into. But imagine your whole life. You're you're when you're a kid, you're practicing towards this goal your entire life, and then you get to high school and you're doing it. In college, you're doing it. You get to talk about strippers or soccer. You know, you got to start them young and then they get older and then all of a sudden they can't do it anymore, and what do they do after that? It's a coach

other strippers. Well, let's just take a quick break and we'll come back with more about this because it isn't. Um, Yeah, I mean you were an athlete, Greg, Yeah, I mean you were a state wrestler. Is that what they call it? A state champion? Champs? What do I mean if we're going to get technical? Yeah, get technical? An All American? Oh yeah, big deal? Right? Nice to people who know what was the name of your album? Too? Right? What's that?

How many All Americans in that state that you were competing? Well? I mean when I was in high school, I won the state a couple of times, and then in college I was an All American. And in wrestling there's there's eight per weight class, so there's eighty a year. That is it catch or as your weight class? What's that? Oh? I was one fifty and then one fifty eight? What did you ask? I asked if it was catch wrestling?

I don't know what that is. It's like when you wear the singlet and you have to stay within the circle and you have to like pin their shoulders. Because I think sometimes when you say wrestling, people think of like WWE. No, that wasn't what is your persona throwing chairs? Yeah, you know, fringe is a good question. I kind of went with a little more understated. I was the accountant,

the salesman. Um, yeah, so you mean you and there's Anya was also a figure skater really for a while, yeah, until an injury, until I was yeah, a girl cut my leg open. And then I did go back after I rehabbed, but I was never the same, you know. Plus it was like during early adolescence and I was like, I'm like turning fourteen, I kind of want to hang out with my friends, and so I stopped. A girl cut your leg open, like on purpose. Yeah. She looked

a lot like Tanya. I remember she came to the hospital. I was in the ICU and she came to apologize, and I remember, um or she just came to, you know, check on me, and my mom was see what she did, see her works. We were all in I know, I was sitting there. The girl came and she was just like I just wanted to say. She was like a tomboy, really looked like Tanya Harding, had a brown mullet. I was just like, I just wanted to say, you know, like sorry, and my mom's like, we do not need

your apology and we do not accept it. And I was like, whoa, it was an accident. Wow. Wow, Yeah, you don't have to accept apologies. That's that's a lesson. I feel like you just do you don't like, just do if someone apologies and not like you don't have to you don't have to like be friends with them again, but like just yeah, let it go. Well you do. Grace is going to be coming. Come on, Grace. I feel bad about it. I've talked about it on two podcasts.

Can we just humor the idea that maybe Grace is not a good person, like maybe you stole go you stole EarPods from a bad person who keys people's cars. She stole those. Maybe maybe they weren't even Grace, maybe they were stolen from someone. Yeah, that's true. She could be about She probably is. Most people are law so I think I had that instinct when I install them. I'm not saying this is the case at all because I really like this guy, but that is the beginning.

That's like a quality of a sociopath. Like what you just said. Yes, I'm just like, yes, Yes, it's good. I like it. I mean, it's it's effective. Yeah, and I do some of it. But I I do think, like when I was talking to these soccer stars, though I kept wanting to ask them, like, what are you gonna do? Not like it? There was interesting to me because I'm always thinking about what am I gonna do? When's it gonna be taken from me? What am I

gonna greg? It's it gets taken from people, man, like you should know you're old, like it's never had it. So it's no, I never quite had it. So I'm you're still I'm still trying to get it. But I'm telling you you're at a level that it's not going to be taken from you. But we've seen people at levels get taken down like it does happen, like Meg. I was watching to Sleep Us in Seattle last night. Why aren't we seeing Meg Ryan and a ton of things? Is it because she doesn't want to work? I don't

think so. I don't think so. Man. I think it's because people don't like her face anymore because it's a little bit older and we don't really want to see it as much and so that. But that's not a comedian. Yeah, Meg Ryan's not a comedian, Okay, but yeah, well there's thanks. I don't think give an examples of waiting for people to call them up to give them jobs comedians show up at clubs that need them. They you know, you have a career. You can go into lots of things, producing, directing,

being on game shows. You'll do it until you die, Yes, you will. That's true. There's always a place that will have me. I mean, I saw Carlos Mencia go for I remember I was on the last tour with him when he was doing clubs and then he went to he made it to Arenas. Guess where he's back to clubs. I don't want to go back to CLU Like I'm not talking. I still want to do it, but I don't want to go back to having to But but it's not really up to you. It really isn't up

to you. Don't know what life has in store. And for me, I think it's very brave to put all of your chips into his eggs into a basket that is syne a ball can. That is like there's just no um. It's just even being being a model is the same thing. I look at models and I'm like, enjoy it well last because I mean, that's why I do comedy, because it is less likely that I will age out of it. I mean, I really do think it was a conscious decision to choose something that can't

be taken by me so quickly. But um, I do worry for people who who who because they do make I mean, these girls are making millions of dollars endorsements and then like they're they're getting paid now as much as male soccer players because they fought for right. So like they're making good money. But who's good at saving and spent? Like when you're a star, you can spend too much. I mean, it's some there are I want to make one. I want to make one point though, Okay,

like this is important. Your mother is hot, like she looks really your mother like your mother age is extremely well yes, yeah, I mean it's just insane. She's a good looking older woman. But that doesn't mean that people still good looking older women are even not as valuable as mediocre looking young people. So it's still there's still a valued Uh. I don't know about with comedy though, detriment.

I want to hear from the young comics all that, you know, like I don't have I that is nice that when I come across a new female young comic, most of the time they're not good because they haven't been doing it long enough so they're kind of awkward. On stage, they look amazing. So I just watched them on mute and read the captions because I don't want to hear their delivery. It's off, it's not come table, but I do, and then I read the captions. I go,

there's no fucking joke here. But I like her middriff. I like the top she's wearing. Her eye makeup is amazing. I want to look like her. Um. But it is nice that it is. There is something of it that it feels like a meritocracy of like it. It is something that you are rewarded if you're good. It's the only thing that you continue to get better at. Really, I think business until you get dementia and then it gets funnier. I was. I was thinking about you know,

Rashaan Hershberg. Is that his name? Ron? Ronin ya Rashaan. Sorry, that's me just like being racist, so um Ron and he's so funny. But he has this joke about um, like if you're racist, like get that shit figured out like now, like I know you can like hide it and just talk about it like amongst your friends or even like keep it in your head of these racist loss because when you get dementia, it's all kind of

good with it now. It's so funny. My god, damn, I wish I wrote that because it's so funny, like, oh God, because it is true when your mind starts to go, you have no control and we all start to go. No one is immune to dementia. It's not like just Alzheimer's patients, like if you live long enough, you will become demented. And um, it's just yeah, get get right with God before like really become an ally, before you get in a nursing home, because it's all

gonna come out on your nurse. From Trinidad, it's my dad plays at nursing homes, you know, plays guitar. And yes, the other day there was some woman that you know, looked like ninety five white woman that was having a tantrum, like, you know, just an episode and she had leaves black nurses like helping her, and my dad was just getting out of the room to get out just just because it's just there's there's no way this woman doesn't have

that on the tip of her old tongue. Um. But she didn't, And my dad was so proud that she didn't when he was scared. I mean, they must hear horrible things because and you can't. Really that's not like who they are truly inside. I think it's also a really ugly side of them comes up. Yesterday, my dad

was playing and this woman was like scooting up. He's been like fondled by these women like he's and this woman just uses her walker to scoot all the way up and then kicked over his micst because it was just you care for it. He's too loud. It maybe too loud, maybe just like maybe and she's in a fucking nursing home or family hasn't visited. Maybe it's a song that made her feel something that like, you don't know, these people are not in control of anything they're doing anymore.

So it was just a hilarious, kind of cute, sad story. I did one of those. This girl that I knew I was in town and she was like, hey, I work at a nursing home and it was an erie, Pennsylvania, and she was like, hey, would you do come to like a show? You know, I was during the day. I was like okay, you know, like she was hot and okay, yeah, yeah, and so I I went to do the show and I'm like, I'm doing a good thing, right then doing a thing that you know, I don't

want to do, but I'm doing a thing. So I do it, and I'm fighting so hard up there and I'm doing what In my mind, I'm like, this is the hardest thing is to do this gig? And I'm what is the what is the gig? I'm just doing a show in this like day room for a bunch of old people. Okay, all the people are there, and I'm like, I'm I'm working so hard and I'm like to get a little bit. Yeah, but I'm like this is going pretty good. Man, I'm and they're I'm getting

crowd work. And then one by one they just get up and leave, and I was like, finally there's like half I'm like, what's going on. The guy's like lunch. You can't beat you can't in the next room. Yeah, you can't. You left your That's so funny. I um as you were saying that, what was I thinking about? Oh, they are oftentimes on stage where you'll be bombing or it's like one of those really hard rooms and I

will disassociate, like I will just go on autopilot. I will just you have to leave your body because you if you take it personally, which you start to at first, it's hard not to, but you really learn to not be there and to go on autopilot in a way that's different than like, oh, I'm just thinking about what I'm going to do tomorrow. I'm kind of bordering this

that it's like just for survival for your ego. Yeah, you just I kind of go to like I start even thinking about how it's going to feel in the drive home. I start to go to the drive home where it's already over. I'm living in another dimension where it's over already, Which is actually some advice I've been getting recently with things I've been dreading. I had to confront someone recently about something and I was dreading it so much, and my girlfriends, who I always talked to

and ask for advice on you included in it. We're saying one of them gave me advice of like, think how you're gonna feel when it's done, just and which doesn't normally help me, but it is a little disassociated which I've been seeing this new therapist who works with like so matic therapy, which is all just like feeling your emotions through how they manifest in your body. And she was talking, this is very interesting. I just want

to share it in case you encounter a baby. She was staring this thing about because she thinks that I have disassociated qualities where I'll just like tap out something traumatic happens and you just leave your body. It happens a lot to like rape victims, in like molestation victims, where they just are like this is too much and they leave and they're just like not there. So she thinks she thinks that I maybe something traumatic happened to me, but I don't know, and she goes it doesn't even

have to be something that traumatic. There's a thing when babies are little A lot of time it's their babies are so overly s like sensitive that a lot of times people will be like, look at this baby and like get up in its face, and the baby will look away because it's just too much, and the person will just you know, you just want to follow the baby's gaze, and so you go to where the baby

starts looking and you keep following whatever. Wherever the baby looks, you kind of get in its face and if that happens to you as a child, you a baby, just go well, I can't escape this. I'm going to go somewhere else. And they start to learn how to disassociate. And so that blew my mind because I've done that to babies before, where I'm like, I just want to look in your eyes and you kind of follow it around. Stop doing that to babies everywhere. If a baby looks

away from you, let it look away. Give And that changed the way that I even yesterday was dealing with my nephew because it made so much sense. But that's we don't know we're doing these things. It's like Drew Barrymore on her show has to be like right up in everybody's face, like, oh my god, I love her too. She's she's a real one. But she Please just go to Drew Barrymore show Instagram and look at how she interviews because she's on their laps or she's on the

ground with them. I was on zoom and even then she showed up in my living room in Saint Louis next to me, Jesus Christ, true, Hi, Nikki um, I'm here. But you know what if if she was anyone else I would be like, this is so annoying and gross and like you're just trying to it's like faux sincerity, but she is someone that seems extremely empathetic and like and it it works. But it is funny to look

at every single clip of her. It's like she looks like she's proposing to every per She's just like kneeling by her chair. I'm like, why she's on the floor next to them. It's really cute. And then there's this one clip that um someone set me of her doing machine Gun. Kelly and her were doing an interview and they were painting each other's nails and it got really intimate and people were sharing it like crazy a couple

months ago when it came out. But they're talking about like their family trauma and they're they're they're like this, but it was just the act of doing something that wasn't just like paying attention to the lights and camera that made them more comfortable. It was very interesting. But final thought, um Greg Specials coming out Friday, uh next Friday, April twenty first on YouTube. What is that going to

be like for you? Are you someone who's going to be obsessively checking the numbers, checking the views, reading the comments. Are you one of those people? Yeah? I guess yeah, can you? How can we get you to not be? Because you can't control it, and no amount of you reading comments is going to make them more positive or negative,

you know what I mean? Like, I just recently looked at some girls late night set a friend of mine and I won't say who, but um, and the first comment it was great, and the first comment was it was pretty good, and it was like they just couldn't give it to it and it was the most up voted one. It was like, Oh, they just can't give it to and I know she's seen it. That's the problem with YouTube. I don't ever read a comment about myself ever, ever, ever on any video. I don't and

I especially on my Instagram videos. If I posted, you can write whatever the fuck you want underneath that, I'll never fucking read it. I'll never read anything on Instagram underneath pictures. I'll read those comments. I'll never read a comment under the video. It just isn't helpful to me. There's nothing you could say that will change what I already did, or you like it or whether you don't like it. It's already happened, so maybe think of it.

That was like you can do you can do what I do, which is you post what do you do? We post a video on YouTube and then no one comments on it? Yeah, no one watches. It's worry about it? Is your YouTube channel? Can we get people to watch stuff? Well, this is all cartoons, there's yeah, you've been doing that animated stuff. Yeah, it is great. Yeah, it's just Brian Frangie YouTube is fr a g Yeah, check out Brian Franjie. Give him a shoot him a couple comments to the psyche.

Yeah pretty good? Say pretty good? Yeah, pretty good? Yeah. Uh It's it's like what pain And that was probably the biggest compliment that idiot's ever given. Was pretty good? Yeah, I mean you know it pain. Like we hate to make it a female comic thing, but I got it. Like if it were a male it would have been like this is hilarious. It's like that's when a woman is super good. It's like, Okay, I guess this one

was funny. That's what I get a lot out of, Like, well that one was funny, but the rest of her stuff. And then yesterday someone that I'm close with who doesn't know my policy on this stuff. Of like most of my friends and family, no, never anything negative they read about me, don't don't tell me. I don't. It doesn't help me. But this person didn't know and was like a lot of people say, you know, you're very dirty

and you don't need to be that dirty. And I was just like uh, And even when they were about to start saying it, I was like, please, please just get no. No no, no, no no no. They're like a lot of people and I already felt it. Tommy, I'm like, no, no no, no, no, And it's like I know that stuff's being said, but um, it's really helped me. So do you feel that there's any I mean, I'll ask this to everyone. Do you feel like there's ever

anything good to be gleaned from reading comments? Like? Is it ever going to steer you, whether it's a negative or positive comment in the right direction or in a better direction for you, or is it just cutting? No? I mean it's there's probably you get that little jolt of because they're I guarant whatever whoever's out there, if you're good eighty percent and we're good. Yeah, so it's you you get that you're not someone who just ignores all the good ones and just only sees the bad one.

Um no, but I certainly probably focus more on the bad one. If you write a bad comment, can you just misspell something in it so I can Or if you write a comment, it should be a deal. If you write a bad comment, you need to have a public profile so then we can go click on it and look at who you are. Yeah, I know I really want, Brian, I want to create a TV show and I'm not going to do this. Have I talked

about this on the show? Where you find people that have written negative comments and who have speculated about your like celebrities, love lives, and especially anyone who is weighing in on the vander Pump rules thing, and like you can't believe Raquel would have cheated with her best friend or whatever, And then we investigate your life and see if you've ever done that, because I guarantee you have. I guarantee you've had a crush on a guy with

a girlfriend and it might have been your friend. No one is immune to having bad thoughts and wanting things that aren't theirs and taking AirPods that aren't yours. Ever done, we got we investigate and that we confront them. The time you confront a commander, it's going to be a twelve year old boy who was Yes, they're all not

the comments I read man. Man. No, the people that are wighing in on the vander Pump stuff are all women in their twenties who who are projecting because they've all done the same thing and they're so disgusted with themselves. I mean, I've talked about it before, but this whole thing of like villainizing people who cheat. Do you know most people I'm not saying, like you and your relationship.

It's a very common thing, and so it's people have been a part of either a person who's been the one that's um cheating or the other woman or the other man. Most people have been one of those people either have cheated or have been the other person that is outside of relationship. So for their there's no way that every single one of these thousands of Commoners have

never done anything like that in their life. It's just hypocritical and I just want to like shove it in their face and go like, look what you did too, because you can't. When they're anonymous, like they'll comment negatively about cheating because they hate themselves for having cheated because they that's exactly what it is you because I know

that's what I do. Whenever I'm disgusted by anyone or like feel the need to weigh in on something, it's because I mean, even Taylor Swift stuff, like I'm like a little bit devastated because there was a man seen leaving her apartment this morning, I guess, and he like is a guy that's like, he's a guy that I

remember being like who is this? And I like research to be like, where's this guy hanging out you know in the past when I've been single and um, and I immediately I was just like, oh no, Like I was mad, and I convinced myself. I was upset because I want her to be with Joe, who she just broke up with, and like I don't want her to move on from Joe. But I was really like, I'm jealous. She's like probably buying. Yeah, yeah, and I wanted him. Um, but I do think that your own guy. Yeah, it's

he was on my you know, on my vision board. Um, it's uh, the one I think the one thing that is motivated. Do you ever get motivated by negative, negative comments, like does anyone like weighing in on ya? Do you ever feel like someone being like I don't really like that she does this? And what if it's something that you already don't like about yourself that they're calling out and someone else notices something that you horrible? Horrible, just go away. I just want to hide and go away.

And it makes me like not like that stuff at all. Yeah, I don't want to know that, Like, I already know what you guys are saying, you don't think I've like replayed it in my mind a thousand times before someone called it out. Yeah, if there's a law or if there's a yeah, we've thought about it, Yeah, I've It reminds me of my friend that this is a little bit. I don't know this is a perfect comparison, but my friend that owned a bar was like my friend Freddie

that owned bars. You like people would away. Everybody knows how to run a bar. Hey, man, have you ever thought about every every waking hour of my day? I thought about what you're what if you got like two hot girls in the back. Yeah, I spend my whole life obsessing over what to do about this? So your

thing isn't helping. Well, that's why I like, like I made fun of Chris for having the caveat of like, I don't understand what it's like to do this, but I do appreciate that he always has that start before he gives me some advice of like, I don't know, I can't imagine what it's likes to put yourself out there in that way, but maybe you should try doing this. So there's always that caveat because I think that it

is just so easy to judge other people. But the one thing that I found to be highly motivating is spending money frivolessly and knowing that you need buying Taylor Swift tickets for as much as you would buy a small car for and then going, well, I need to make that. I want to make that up, not because I need to, not because I'm gonna struggle without it, but because I want to just I want to earn that specifically, and I'm gonna do something where I can

have I can. I think that really motivates me. I'm learning, so I think I just need to spend more money. You got to figure it out by fans, like who give you creative ideas. You know how fans do that a lot, Like I would love to hear you talk about Blank or yes you should do a collaboration with Blank. I mean, I get that shit all the time, but

I guess people like t positions. I always appreciate it and wish I were a more open mind to like Matt is really open, Like he has a Patreon if y'all to say, like, I love a few cover this song and he'll do it, and I'm kind of like a you know, seven percent of those people will get my attention. I mean, I'll listen, but I'm always like, oh, that's a good idea, and I do I enjoy it. Most of the time, I don't do it. It's like a tag, like with someone gives you a tag on

a joke. It's usually just not exactly your voice, and even though it's fun and it would work for anyone else, you just go, it's not gonna be me. But I do appreciate those once in a long while, though. Yeah, Like it's like that thing where sometimes they'll shout it out. Oh yeah, they'll shout it out, and you'll be like, yeah, wait a minute, oh one of my best one of my closers was a guy just mumbling to himself and

I go, what'd you say? And he goes, it's Uber eats, because I was talking about like getting in an uber and like having them give you sectual favors, and he goes Uber eats and I was like, wait, that's good. I go, I'm gonna literally use that. There's been a

couple of times where I've taken suggestions. You know. Most of the time, suggestions lead me to feel like I'm not doing enough, and it makes me refocus on the fact that like, oh, you're right, I should do that, and it doesn't turn into me taking action, turns into me beating myself up that I'm not a person that

does more stuff. I do love a suggestion, though, I want to say that, like, I appreciate people that take the time, like just Nicky and I just read this Justine Bateman memoir and she talks about how, like, of all your fans, really like two percent are going to actually get to you, you know, or back in the old days when people would write fan mail, but like the ones that actually write you are probably like really

hardcore fans. So I do appreciate when people take the time, and like, think about it'd be cool to hear you do this type of song, or collaborate with this person, or have you ever thought about covering X y Z. I love that so many besties said me suggestions with like videos, I'd like animal videos, I'd like I mean, I feel like it happens all the time. Last night, I turned on this Hulu show and I'm going as I'm watching it, it's called like I forget what's called

some British funny woman. I forget the name of it, but it showed up right on Hulu. I'm like, oh, let me check the show out. And then I opened up my DMS and as I'm watching the opening credits to this, a girl goes, you should watch this new Hulu show and I'm like, I'm watching it right now. So there's there's moments like that where it really does

pay off. But most of the time, I'm like I said yesterday with them when we announced Brian, and Brian was like, I know you're gonna be upset with me, and it's like, you, whatever you feel about me, I've already feeled about myself. I have low self esteem, Like I struggle with stuff, so You're not gonna do better at hurting me than I am already doing. You're you're you're saying, you're speaking, you're preaching to the choir, like we have more in common than people who like me.

Probably you're most liked after you're dead. Ain't that the truth? Wise words, Brian, It's true you're so celebrated after like she lit up a room. Yeah, when people say at your funeral they'll never say to you in real life, yes, and they don't. They don't really say a lot of the negative stuff. And weddings they say nice things about you too, And yeah, they don't say that. But she

every room, she would light up a room. I want you said a joke where I just wanted to start walking into rooms and turning on all the lamps so that it would be actually literal accurate. Okay, we have to go. Um, I have to get to a voice lesson. Greg Warren, thank you so much for being here. And um, I can't wait to see your special. Even though I've already seen it twice, I want to watch it again. It's so good. You guys are gonna love it so much.

The Salesman, April twenty first, Friday. You have plans next Friday night. Watch that on YouTube for free. Nate Bargatzi directed it, and check out Greg Warren Comedy dot com for all of Greg's tour dates. He's constantly on tour. He is such just he's clean, he's just a he's a guaranteed everyone will like him. That you bring. You capture what everyone is dealing with. And you're just fucking great. Thank you, thank you. Yeah, one of the best ever

to do it. And if you've just heard of him, what what a how lucky you are to check out his body of work, um and his body just go check it out in the park. It's so nice to see you again. I haven't seen him for everything looks great. Um, yeah's there. I saw him at the wedding of the one. Oh yeah, that's right. Well we uh, we will be back next week with shows Wednesday and Thursday. Don't you think we will? Don't? Um, thank you so much for

listening this week. Don't be cook and dig digit already push