#326 Funeral Prep & Civil War Apples w/ Brian Frange

You heard him yesterday. He's back and he's very close up to He's very close up to the video camera like he's you look like you're, you know, zooming with us from Ukraine. Lady Gaga at the Oscars with a weirdly close camera angle, did you oh wait, it was insane of her without makeup on. Yeah, but this it was like and now Lady Gaga. And then then it

closes up way closer than anyone would ever think. And then it's just like it's like this, like her singing the whole time, like this just like in her, like her lips on her lips. I kind of like it. It was cool just have a so much filler in them. But she's not of that. I did see the clip of her helping that man up. Yeah, isn't that so nice of her doing a normal thing that I just last time? What did she do? Wasn't there some like old woman on stage with her or something or some

old man. She was like, oh, yeah, okay, so what did she do with Liza? She just like was didn't kick her down the flight of stairs or something, and so we're all just shocked, Like I don't know which was flash cards coming. Gaga was like, I got you. She did it in a way that um was like, I am demonstrating to the rest of you celebrities that you're supposed to be nice to people like she did, like, look, I'm not just gonna walk past this man who tripped. I'm going to go and help him, and I'm going

to do it in a way that hide. Yeah, she apparently she knew him, like she is, he's a photographer. She's familiar with him like that. My friend messaged me and was like she knows him and then did you see him? Like kind of pat her ass and she like didn't care for that. Did you see that aftermath

of it? So she helps him and then he kind of like he's just like she's wearing this lit, very low back thing within like like a kind of like netting around it, so her like butt is kind of out but not and he kind of like pats her. I think he's he was just so confused, like embarrassed with what just happened. I think it's gonna be a new thing of photographers falling so that they can get attention and get this amazing shot. Because that was a huge That was a huge moment. People sold that footage.

I mean that was a big thing. Can I just say another thing about Lady Gaga. There is a lawsuit against her by the woman who gave her dogs back. So Lady Gaga said, I will give five hundred thousand dollars. I think there's a half million dollars for a return of my dogs safely, no questions asked. Now we all know what that is about. Like when someone says no questions asked, it's like, if you stole my dogs, I'm

not going to prosecute you. Just give me my dogs back, right, Like this is a thing that is used with If I ever got my dog stolen, I would do a no questions asked too. I just want my dog back. I'm not going to get you in trouble. You have to stay true to that in order for it to work for other people. So right now she's being sued by the woman who her stepson, I guess is the one who stole her dogs, and she found out and

so she returned Lady Gaga's dogs. Now this woman is being charged with being an accomplice at some point, but she never got the five hundred thousand dollars. I'm sorry if you say, no questions asked, five hundred thousand dollars, you can't renag on that. You can't you You have to go through is it, no matter if they're the criminal or not. And I know it's not fair. I

know everyone's like, how dare this woman sue? It was part of the that's how you get your dog back is that you promised five hundred thousand dollars, no questions asked. And now the boy who cried wolf No, no criminals are going to trust that now. So now people aren't going to get their dogs back when they say no questions asked, though kind of dogs, it doesn't matter. I mean, obviously designer fucking stupid dogs breathing issues, what targeted dogs that are worth a lot of money on the market.

And yeah, it's not just Lady Gaga's dogs, it's dogs of that breed. I forget what the breed it was. Yeah, it's like, yeah, French bulled up. Yeah, this is the ones that have breathing issues because people like the way they look or whatever. It's really a cool practice that were If you have to, you're going to give a reward for your dogs back. You're gonna have to give caveats, like and this is not like the Lady Gaga situation. Yes, and that's a long poster. There's too many words. No

one's gonna read it. And the FBI is going to be doing that now from now on. I mean, how are they gonna catch criminals? Well, everyone's so mad at this woman. How dare she asked for that? She was part of it? It's like, yeah, we know that was part of it. Is that's why you put no questions asked. If it was just an innocent person during in dogs, you wouldn't need to put that And so now you're going back on it. This isn't succession. You can't go

back on everything you say that you're gonna do. What do you fucking Logan Roy? Stick to your word. Your word is gold. I'm annoyed by it, But every I think that I would have, I think that a lot of people would disagree with me. You know, in the Reddit threads I was reading, people are like, how dare this woman? She? You know, because she is now being charged with Oh, that's aiding and abetting them stealing the dogs because she maybe had a pardon it. It doesn't

matter if she had a pardon in it. She returned the dog safely, she gets the half a million dollars. I'm sorry, but you know what they say, niggie, you can't make a tomelet without breaking some gregs. I yet, I get it. Maybe half a million dollars was a little bit over zealous. You know that sounds like an emotional number, not a logic, Like, I bet you they would have returned the dogs for like fifty thousand dollars

and then she would have probably paid it. Yeah, oh yeah, I think I've five hundred thousand dollars version of Lady Gaga on her in her I'm doing an impression of Nikki doing it. Yeah, that's true. And what about the dog walker that got shot? Yeah, I mean that's the whole situation sucks, and uh, it was very upsetting. And it happened in Hollywood. Um, I have you know, like there's a my friend lives like right around the corner from here. It happened, and I'm frequently over there and

I walked dog. It's a it's a rescue. Yeah. My dog is eleven year old Chihuahua mix that I don't think anybody would want to see. No, exactly, and that's why you did the right thing. You have a I'm sometimes my dad left the car door open when we were into the grocery store the other day and Luigi was in there, and I go lock it. He goes, no one wants this dog, and I go, that's a good point. I mean, Luigi is beautiful, but what a burden to You're not gonna resell Luigi unless you would

want Luigi. I don't know, unless you knew about Luigi and how sweet he was first glance, you're not gonna want Luigi. Um, even though he's beautiful. But he's not gonna be Um. Yeah, he's not a commodity on the market. But um, speaking of dogs, I I've been messaging the shelter NonStop about this dog Huey that I saw on pet Finder, which is the tinder for you getting matched with an animal, and I found this little tild They won't write me back. I gotta call them today and

maybe go to the shelter. I'm scared to go to the shelter because I don't want to see sad dogs. I don't want to see all the pit bulls that are just like sad in the corner or like I. That's why like rescues, they go in and they see the stuff and they get the dogs out. They I mean, that's why I always am so um reverential of rescues, because they do all they see all the stuff that I don't want to see, and then they they dress up the dog and they groom it and they get

you know, fix it up. But they see horrible things that I just I don't know if I want to go, I will want to save them all. Um, did you get your dog from a rescue bran or did you go to the shelt Um? I got it from a rescue from the Real Bark, the Real Bark. There's a store called the Real Bark, and then the rescue is

called Echo Bark. I'm pretty sure, okay, And uh yeah, no. I used to volunteer at an animal shelter and on Long Island and yeah, and uh it was it's you know, it's definitely really sad because there's just some dogs that just don't get adopted for whatever reason, and they're like amazing dogs and you go there and you walk them and they're like amazing, and uh, it just and they just sit there for for years and but they're so happy when you come walk them. They get to know you,

like you're there. You would walk dogs, Yeah, I would go into the shelter, and you know, you can. You can volunteer to take the dogs out for walks, like you go like three days a week and you walk them around and or you and I also did like training where you can be a man that they attack if you get to wear that cool big suit. You wear a cool big suit and then you go in there and you get to dress like Brendan Frasier in

the Whale. Yeah, it's a lot of process. I use the same exact suit actually that they're used in the Whale and the dog says, I didn't like that movie. And then they attack you, and that's pretty much the point of the hole. Then you have to give a speech at the end. Yeah, you have to look really unstable,

Like I mean, poor Brendan Frasier. I'm happy everything's working for him, but when the fanfare like falls, when the fireworks are going up, there's fireworks and now the ashes are certain fault, there's gonna be this is a set. Someone should check in on Brendan Frasier this week. Yeah, next week actually, because this week is gonna be good.

It's still gonna be like really exciting for him. But based on my own depression and when big things happen, and then it starts to just like everyone doesn't really care anymore because inevitably, no one cares anymore after you do anything in life, literally anything, especially women who are getting married. Anya not included because you are kind of, you know, level minded and Brian, Brian's getting married in June, Anna's getting married in July. No one's getting married at TBD.

But like I always feel bad for women after weddings, like it's there's gonna be a fallout where no one cares about you anymore, and this whole thing that was your life planning is no longer there. And I think Brendan Frasier people do wellness check for sure on that unstable guy. And I'm calling him an unstable as someone who is unstable myself many times, and other people have called unstable online, so I get it. It's not it's not nice to do, but he is not. I can't

watch his acceptance speech for the Oscars. It's just too it's too triggering of like, this guy is not well. There are so many whale metaphors too. If you listen, he wrote that speech with some nautical metaphor. Did he really yes? So it's it's hard to get swept up in the emotion of it because you're like, this is not off the top of his head, Oh my god, And yet there are tears, there's vocal quivering. Then he thinks his children, I think, and I'm like, I'm worried

about his kids because their dad is not stable. They'll be fine. I mean, they're rich at least that. But everybody feeling somebody should do a wellness check on the photographer who fell. Next week, he's just gonna be a photographer again. I mean that's a really good point. I'm not the guy who fell anymore. But isn't that why

people get like I really do. I used to have a joke about it, but people get let's just say people who have simpler lives, and simple is not It sounds negative, but you know, your wedding is like kind of the thing that you went you went to college to go find your husband, and then you get a husband and you get married, and then you have kids and then you get attention for that, and we're all seeking attention as someone I'm just saying, so I obviously

seek attention. I found a way to get it, like fucking mainlined to my a order is that a fucking vein? But like women, you get what you do is you get in a relationship and then you go, oh my god, when is he gonna say I love you? Then he says I love you. Then you're like, when are you moving in together? Oh? We're moving in together. Oh exciting. Then you get engaged, Oh my god, we got engaged. Then you get married, Oh my god, we got married. And then you're like and then you're like, oh, now

we're pregnant. Oh my god, I got pregnant. You have a kid, Oh my god, we got pregnant again. Another kid. Then you go and then you get divorced, and then you do it all over, like we need to keep getting because then and I do believe that, because i'd get do it. Every time I've finished something, I'm like, what's next. I can't celebrate it. It's just it's never enough. I need to go on to the next thing. Um. But I feel like you, guys, Brian, your fiance Ali.

I don't know her that well, but just hearing you guys talk about the wedding, it doesn't seem like her life is like wedding and she's gonna be okay. She kind of has an identity beyond it. Well, I have a solution for you and all those people. I know. The answer is it. You gotta start. You gotta start planning your funeral. Yeah my god, I'll do a paperless post. Yeah, you find a caterer, you get a DJ, and then you know when the funeral happens, you're not going to

have any postpartum depression. Oh my god. That says you'll be dead. Yeah, I'm gonna go on Tyler Henry's show when I'm deceased, and I'm gonna complain about how bored i am. Just to get more attention. I'm gonna do a press tour. Hey scribbling Tyler Henry. Wait a second, that's a really good point. Yeah, you go get a dress. You'll get a fitting, fitting for your funeral dress that

you're gonna wear in your coffin. Yeah. I think about my death all the time, and I'm very like, I really did tell Chris because last week I had a really bad paparazzi photo, not paparazzi but like red carpet photo. I wish that guy would have fallen. I wish every single photographer who was taking pictures of me at ted Lasso would have fallen and it would have been blurry. Um.

But I was really worried. It's still the it's still the most recent picture of me that's you know, Getty images, which sucks because I went to this thing over the weekend where I looked gorgeous, and I'm like, I'm refreshing. Getty constantly be like can I die? Because they're gonna pull the most recent and I need. I do, not that I plan on dying, but like I'm crossing streets a little bit more cautiously. I was a little bit worried on the plane plane yesterday, crash wise, because I

even told Chris, I said, I'm not kidding you. If I die tragically, you cannot let them run the ted Lasso photos. You just can't. You gotta and I just need because I that's I mean, if you guys, you know, listeners, if you're not famous, you'll just pick out a picture right now that you put in your obituary, because that's gonna be the picture that they're gonna use. Like pick it out now you can, but I'm not gonna have

control over it. If they don't use that picture, they're gonna use your graduation photo or the most recent photo of you, which is bullshit for old people. If you're an old person and you don't like the way you look right now, you better tell your family and friends this is the picture I like of myself from nineteen seventy seven. Use this because this was just as much me as this old woman or what old man is right now. Like I used to get upset because you know,

when Barbara Bush died. I'm like, can we get one picture of her in her twenties? Did she was she ever in her twenties or did she always look like she was born in nineteen twenty, Like every single photo of her is I've never known her to look young. But the opposite. I think it's sad when someone dies and they're at ninety and then they only use like the twenty year old picture of them. It's like they

had seventy years after that. You can't find a flat I don't like the picture of them when they're like ninety in a wheelchair and they're just like they look like that they should be. You know, remember on Today's show used to do like celebrate one hundred year olds birthdays when they would flash the picture and it would always it was always people who didn't know there was

a picture being taken of them. It just looked like they're just like staring in the corner or their senile they're losing their mind, Like don't use that photo, like and use a pretty picture of them. But I get what you're saying. On you like, they have a full life after that. Just pick your picture that you want, run because we're all gonna die and if you want to have a nice little photo spread and like local newspaper which no one reads because everything's digital, Like pick

out your photo. I have a playlist for my you know, funeral of like when you show the slide show, I do want you know, I hope you had the time of your life. I do want that. It really worked in the Seinfeld finale. It was also played at the funeral of my friend and it really brought down the house in terms of tears. I just think it's gonna be a good one. I would like to use that. I want to say that I want to use in my life. The Beatles. I would like that one to

be a part of it. The slideshow is gonna be pretty long. It's gonna be about seven songs. I gonna run out of photos I have. She's a jar clocked also, yeah, she's a jar. That's gonna happen. That might be like the procession when my dad walks me down the aisle um with a casket. Oh my god, just E j are going to do a first dance too? After that? Well, Pa,

Oh my god. I saw something on Reddit last night where people thought there was a fire because there's this black smoke like flying in the like just huge plumes of black smoke. And so this person, you know, went to go find the source of it to be like, what's burning down? And it was a crematorium and they usually burn bodies at night so you can't see it, but this was like they were backed up or something. So you just saw the black smoke in the air.

Isn't that fucking scary? I don't even think about that, Yes, dude, but we know in the in memorium at the Oscars, did you watch that? Left off a lot of people? I heard, Yeah, any do you? How do you leave off? An hash? And UM's dad? And then there was one other guy, the woman who was killed in the movie that Alex Baldwin was in one job? Oh, Helena Hutchins. Well she died, was she maybe in the last one? Because she died in um September or something of twenty

twenty one. Okay, Um, well, we have a lot to talk about, including um more Oscar thoughts. We're gonna go to break. We're back. We're here with Brian Franjie on your Marina and uh and we'll be back right after this. Okay, we're back, Um I just last night got into the Duh Murders say that name Murdo no series. I had to wait for Alec Murdoch to say his own name, and he says, Aleck Murder. It's it's Murdoch Murder Murder. Uh did you watch it? Noah? Have you seen it? No?

But I've seen like stuff you know about? Yeah, stuff on it. It's not that good. Sorry, everyone loved it. I mean I was a little bit. Listen. I watched all three episodes, but by the end I was just it was fine. Um, it was interesting, but I think that they didn't spend enough time on like I don't know why. I don't know how he did it. Did he hire a hitman to kill his wife and son or did he do it? What do we think? I think he did it? He did it? You think I

think I think he did it. I think his son was recording him, because he was probably fighting with his wife. His son recorded him. And then why do you know that? What is that? Where does that come? The sun has a video of his father talking to his mother angrily, and they won't tell us what's in the video, but it was about it was killed. Yes, Oh, well, maybe I didn't finish it. Okay, right, did you see Murda, Bryan? I didn't see it. No. I mean this is the

every time you ask me if I saw something. I do watch things. No, I know it's okay, but I did in your backyard. Yeah, this week Possom Cam, don't have time to watch. I'm on the fifth season of Possom Cam now, and I gotta say it's really it's really gone downhill since Theosom season. The possum's not moving the whole time. It's pretty stagnant. Oh my god, wait for it, he wakes up. Oh yeah, Oh, there's a huge twist the finale. Um. But anyway, I watched Murdass

last night. When I got home, I just got a new couch and it is so awesome. I was like, I've never wanted to, like sleep on my couch. I'm not someone who ever would sleep on a couch. I think it's uncomfortable. I don't get it, but this is like a bed couch. Instead of freezing my eggs, I bought a couch. I spent six thousand dollars on a fucking couch that by the way, I got this couch because my friend Sarahlena has this couch. I went to her house, I saw her couch and I was like,

I already ordered Kurston's couch. By the way, I only get things for my house that like other people have, and I trust that my friends who have good taste, I just go, okay, I'll get that right, Like I don't have taste in my own. So I got Kurston's couch and then I went to Sara Lena's and I was like, cancel the order. This is the couch. And also Sarahlene was like, girl, this couch is thirty two hundred dollars. I just got this. And I'm like, this

couch was thirty two hundred dollars. Mind you. She got the floor sample and she got like a huge discount for some reason. I think it's because she is a supermodel. It's just like she was just like, girl, you got and she just like is a savvy consumer. So she just got a disc like she's just good. And then I order it and it's six house dollars, just like how did I how did this happen? I know I

had delivery fee. She like found a flatbed truck and had some guy deliver it probably for free, like I had to just you know, Um, but it is worth it. It's beautiful. It's too big for my living room. It should be an u multi multimillion dollar home that has a lot of space. So it's like a couch for like a rich person in a you know, fairly modest tiptoeing around it, like trying to get your body around it, and it's just huge. It's too big for the room

for sure. It just looks it. It's it's nice though, but it's so cozy. Um, Chris and I will never have to touch each other again on the couch. That's nice for him. Old pillow fort he built up. He builds a fort of pillows between us at night. Brian. Um, that's just a thing like that he does. Um, I have to like sneak my hand through the pillows like a weird like a British garden snake through the rocks to like to access him. And then um, so yeah, he'll he'll enjoy that hand. We got a bed couch

by this name, you know. Yeah, and me and my fiance Ali, we sleep in different in separate beds. You have sleep app in the air or what's happened. No, we just don't want to be in the same bed. We want to sleep were next to each other, same beds like some people put double beds together, like and I love Lucy where they're just like Lucy and no, no no, no, like sleep like you they're they're touching, but they're separate units. So that when you know, we have separate beds, separate rooms,

separate rooms, rooms, and we have separate couches. Wait, do you just not live together? Is that what we're just? Did you sing? Here? I live in Tennessee and she lives in Nebraska, So that's a weird way to say that. It's a long distance relationship relationship. I've never actually met her, you know, she h saw pictures online. No, No, we have separate beds, separate rooms, and it's wonderful. How did you get to that? Did it start that way? Do

you know? I lived with your boyfriend's brother, Tim. Yeah, And the moment that he said we decided to be roommates, I said, I laid down the ground rules. One of the first things I ever said to Tim was we are getting separate dishes. When if your dishes are dirty in the sink, not my problem. I'm gonna have clean dishes. And then we had separate dishes the whole time, and we never thought about dishes. So then when my mouth moved, when I moved, when we moved in together, I don't

I don't know who to say. I didn't move on with the hers. She didn't move with me moving together. Um, I said, we're doing separate beds, and she's like really, And I was like, you don't understand. It makes everything so much better. We both have different sleep schedules. We sleep differently. Jack sleeps in the bed that my dog, and it works out great, works out great. He doesn't have a separate bed, so he's Jack sleeps save dishes. Um,

what's this sleep schedule? Still can't talk? What's their sleep schedule? Anya has temporary veneers. By the way, So if you hear her slurring, it's because wanting to kill herself. Um. I generally wake up early, and um, if Ali's not going to work, she'll still sleep in late. And um, yeah, like on the weekend, she likes to sleep in and I like to wake up early and start running the house. Okay, let me just let me just throw some lobs some questions your way. Or just lobs some things that like,

because I'm on board with this, I listen. I'm someone who doesn't like commitment. I don't want even want to live with my partner yet, Like I it just seems like too much. It's kind of scary. I probably would do the same thing. I want Chris to like move into my building and live near me, like, but I do like after we like when we go to bed and we, um, you know, do our thing, which is just do the crossword puzzle together, no, like instead of sex.

Right now, I would say mostly most of our time in bed, Chris and I are playing spelling bee or wordle or crossword puzzles. But spelling bee is our new thing and I got on you into it too. The New York Times spelling Bee it's like boggle, but it's really fun anyway. It's it's so hard and it's fun.

But um, that's what we usually do. We play spelling bee separately, and then we share our words that we found, and then we reach genius level and then we feel accomplished and then we I sneak my hand through the snake. I kind of I go, I'm gonna get it, and then he goes don't get it, and then we kind of giggle and then we go to sleep. I enjoy.

I enjoy in the middle of the night, Like if I go to the bathroom, when I come back, he's I guess he's not like a He's a really heavy sleeper, so if he wakes up, he kind of just goes like and he like sticks his head up and he like just like gives me his lips and I just like give him a kiss, and then we go back to sleep. I like those like intimate moments in the

middle of the night. Sometimes when I can't sleep, I like to like watch his back like rise and fall as he breathes, like I kind of like, I like. But then I also fucking hate that I can't like sprawl out and like put my leg up in a different way that I want, and that I can't listen to my phone without my air bots in because it's hurts your ears when you sleep on the airpot and so I would like to just have the speaker phone next to my head, which is what I do when

I sleep. So there are benefits to both. Do you feel like you're lacking in any way when you can't share a bed and do you have a separate bed for hanky panky or whose bed do you go to? Well, that was a that's a great point about the earbuds because I listened to a podcast to go to bed every night. I need. I need somebody's talking in order

to fall asleep. I can't. I need a bedtime story basically, and it has to be you know, sometimes I listen to a podcast at night and it's too interesting and then I'm two hours and I'm like, yes, one succession I was. I couldn't. I was choosing that over sleeping. Yeah, I need a podcast that's like, I need Sam Harris

podcast because it's so dense. I try to pay attention and then my brain starts getting tired because I'm trying to figure out what the like He's using the word partitioned a lot, like I just there's words that I just am like so overwhelmed by that. It's so dense that I feel like it makes me fall asleep because my brain gets tired trying to keep up with it. And then Stuff you Should Know is also a good podcast to listen to because those guys have gentle voices.

Do you recommend any what podcast is do you listen to to fall asleep? I need just anyone's I have not found one that consistently makes me fall asleep. Every time I think there's a boring podcast, all of a sudden they come out with a banger episode that keeps me up all night because I can't sleep. I'm like,

wait to say that. Sometimes I'll listen to like fantasy football podcasts where they're just like listing out players and that I can fall asleep too, usually because it's like okay, they're just like this player is pretty fast, and then this player is slow, and then what about this player? Well, here's a tone of voices is so important. Like I just found this ASMR video that is crushing it for me.

I want to just direct people to it if they need something to listen to to fall asleep too, And it might creep you out because you're not into ASMR, but if you, if you are, this is the this is the one to do. It's um. Her name is Astro seven seven seven. She only has like she doesn't have that many followers. Astro astros Space Glow seven seven seven. Glow seven seven seven is one and you listen to asmar magazine flipping soft spoken boom it. I cannot get

through it. I have listened to it when I am wide awake. It I have not gotten past every time I go, oh my god, this is the last part I remember, and then I make it maybe one more sentence and then I'm out and it's um. It's worked for me now probably like seven times. There's also a ted talk about like loving yourself by this like Irish woman that I can't get that board. Oh yeah, I'm like, this isn't working for me. So there's some okay, so that the roofies you into sleep, Oh yeah, for sure.

If there's something just so soothing about it, there's something about it that just it's like a lullaby. It's like

the it's just being talked to. I have a theory that people who like Asmar didn't get enough love from their mother as a child in terms of like they were just stressed out as a child and they didn't get like a comforting like voice that like made them feel safe, or they did and it was like the thing they hung Like my grandma used to like rub my back and talk like really softly, and it was really like I would only get it you know, once every two weeks when I saw her, So I was

always like Jones and for it and not that my mom is like not a loving person. She is, but she just isn't like a soft spoken like things are okay, Like I would just hear them like singing in the in the next room like Fleetwood Mac and it would just be like loud and annoying. Um, so okay, back to your sleeping situation. Um, can we talk about, um, uh, what you do for sexual relations and who's bad you choose and then how you guys like go like, uh, see you tomorrow, Like how do you like get her

out of there? Um, I'll leave, I'll leave after and go into my room and you'll leave before begins. Yeah, you know what this is for me? She's like, yeah, I'm good, thanks, but I got to get to my podcast. Yeah, I oh, there's something else. I'm not changing the subject, but I wanted to go back to, uh, what you were just saying, which now I forgot you were just saying so that it affects me, Like when I'm on

the subway train, I'd zone out all the time. And it's interesting that you say that because I did feel like I uh, you know, I have a great mom, but I didn't get a lot of I don't think we're not very like touchy. You know, there's not like a lot of hugging and stuff going on. That's interesting theory. And Molly Shannon has it, and I read Molly Shannon. Molly Shan was the first celebrity I saw to come out about ASMAR because when I first had it, it

was really shameful that I liked. This thing is almost like pornography, because it's like these videos are so weird. It was just this community of like weirdos, and we didn't talk about it outside of it, and there would be videos about how to come out to your parents as having ASMR, like it was a weird thing and culturally accepted. But I remember Smilly Shannon was the first person on Conan. She talked about having ASMR and liking listening to people like brush people's hair or something, and

that's not my trigger, but sometimes it is. And then I read her book and her mom died when she was four, and she never got maternal affection and like and consistent, like if you didn't feel safe as a child, like I was always scared of monsters and my parents. I would go like I'm scared, and they would just be like, go back to bed. There was there was never any like relief from it. I don't know why

I would would have done in their shoes. They did the best they could and they weren't like dismissive of my feelings. But I just didn't ever feel I was always fearful going to bed like I was in you know, I was in a war zone or something like. It

was just constantly like shivering under the covers. But I didn't want to be two under the covers because I would get hot, and then I didn't want to expose my skin because then the axe murderer could like chop off my arm, but the blanket would protect me from the axe. So yeah, that's interesting. I think there might be a correlation there. Someone more with a science brain

should look into it. I do also want to say that your triggers why subway, Uh well, the camera where you this thing where you're like putting your hands close to the camera lens and like it covers like the top two corners of the lens. That uh, that triggers me. And then the droning what the lens when they when they when they cover up the lens. Wait wait and then they do no, no, no, I think he's just talking. This is separate. This is like the videos you watch

on it on YouTube. Yes, and they'll be like they'll just this stuff. There's just hand moved. So that's like, oh, like brushing, like do you like the sounds of brushing or you like the visuals pett for some reason, like you're looking at it and it's just like you'll see some ASMR videos where they're like constantly moving their hands across the camera sting. That's why I like it. It's so much like porn because there are so many different ways to get off with an ASMR brain Like that

would never do it for me. Whispering really haunts me. When be there like hi everyone, welcome back, and they like click their fingers or they like tap on something, I'm just like stop. It's like it's miss aphonia, like it hurts my ears. But then a woman just being like I really like Zoey Kravitz's outfit here. It's like I like how it's simple and the khakis pair with the white shirt really like perfectly, and I just I don't know, I think she's really cool, and then they'd

turn the page. I'm just like, like, my brain is coming. You guys feel right good? Or does it just soothe you? Or does it produce an actual Like there's definitely a chemical reaction going off. It feels when I can trigger it. Brand. I don't know about you, but I it's like coming

a lot like it. Honestly, you have to like kind of stay away from asmar for a little bit too, because you I think most people who are into asmar at this point, if you've been doing it more than a year, you have burnt out your asmar like the real where it floods down your like it's like a spinal t like it floods down your spine. It starts in your head kind of tingles, and it's kind of like goes. It's it's like a brain work that but I only have that one someone is talking right above

my head. But then it's like a physical thing and I go oh, and it's like amazing feeling but tickly. But that's the only time I gets it's not that bad. Oh, that's sexual. I feel like that can be almost sexual because it's like a tickle. Asmar never feels like like Brian do agree. Asmar doesn't feel like something like whoa like a roller coaster, it's posts quitus. Yes, it's like okays.

After you have finished, you are laying there and you're just like I nothing, uh, you know, you don't really you don't want to talk frequently, you might fall asleep, and it is just kind of like this zoned out like what I want to do. And this is why it's bad that happens on the subway for me, is what I wind up doing is I am just staring into space at nothing and I and I can't break me. Yes, as soon as I break the gays, then it's over and I don't want to be over. So I'm just

like zoned out staring. And then sometimes there's like a guy. I hope I never do it when there's like some like a woman across me, but when I check myself. But when if there's like an old man with a newspaper and he's like, what the hell is this guy looking at out my percentage of the time does this

happen to you too? When you're listening to Asmar one hundred zero zero For me, now like it's maybe I get triggered because I I'll wean myself off, so I'll just listen to podcast for a while to soothe myself to sleep, so I won't do Asmar videos. For a while, I was watching the eating Asmar videos and that gives me a soothing feeling. Like let me just say, like, for me now Asmar videos, most of the time, it's like having sex but not coming, like it feels good.

And let me just say, most of the time, women don't need to come from sex, like I'm fine not coming, Like I think that men get in their head that like we need to come every time because you do, because it's like what would be the point of just like, but women can have fun and feel good during sex and we do want to come, but like sometimes trust us, if we are like we don't need to, it still feels good. So for me now I think ASMR is

like it's intimacy. It's it feels like intimacy. But then there are times where I've staved myself for a while and I will get hit by of I'll just go into my YouTube and like find a new kind of trigger, and all of a sudden, it's like whoa, and it lasts probably I don't know, like it lasts like twenty seconds for like the good, good feeling, and then it kind of just then you're in that numb state where you're like and then I probably fall asleep because I'm

so relaxed. It's like it's the feeling of safety, warmth. It's like all it's the best feeling in the world next to orgasm. Like it's it's right up there with it, and I'm so lucky that I have it. But um, yeah, it's um. I definitely think it's due to mothers who are not that or children who felt distressed and sought like just a comforting voice like this. But I don't like when they try too hard, Like it's almost like

the same way I look at porn. I don't like porn where the girl's like like, it's so obvious that you're acting. I mean, I think most people don't like that. I don't know why it's such a huge part of porn then for everyone to be like, like, why is that a part of it? Who likes that sounds like a baby crying listen, Well, I think they know what

they're doing, and so I wanted to be natural. I wanted to be like a woman flipping through magazine the way she would if she were just like if her like her nephew was sitting like in the crook of her arm, and she was just trying to like, let's get ready to go to bed, and like talking softly but not trying too hard. I don't like when people are like tapping things too much. I'm like, would you just tap normally like that? No, Like, stop putting on

a performance. I don't want it to be performative, much like I don't want to stand up to be performative. I don't like performative when things are opposed to be real, if that makes any sense. Yeah, Like I don't like I don't like Broadway shows. This is why I don't like Broadway. It is too locked into performative. There's no there's for me. There's just no. Um. Well, Broadway shows are like supposed to be the opposite of real. It's

supposed to be as far away from real. Yeah, all right, But like I sometimes people say like, like Broadway shows are cheesy, and I'm like, yeah, that's the whole point. They're supposed to be. Yes, totally um, And I think I enjoy a Broadway show, you just have to go in knowing, like it's like when you're watching a reality show.

It's like embarrassing to watch people act sometimes, and like even if it's like that, what's that one play that's like my four Sons or like all my Sons, what's the one that like all the best actors are in. You guys know what I'm talking about. Someone knows what I'm talking about, but like watching like stay, yeah, yes, it's about thank you San, that's my four Sons. I'm not kidding you think yeah, and it's like a yeah, mean Dad Sons salesman. Yes. And I saw Brian Dennihee

in that, and like the Saint Louis like traveling production. Wow. I just remember being like this is awkward. He's just like we know you're acting. It's like I need it's just like right here and you're like and then they bow at the end and they're like break character, and it's just kind of embarrassing. Even though I'm dying to be in a musical at some point then I do love musicals. Have you ever seen a Lady in the Fountain? Lady in the Fountain? Was that I think a Phantom

of the Opera, A mask man, half mask man. Yeah yeah, but uh yeah, I just um, ASMR needed to be real. Um wait, so what was I gonna say? Um? Yeah, but you your bed habits. Can I say something about the window habits? Yeah? Please? Um, there's a real There's another reason why we can't sleep in the same bed is because frequently I'll wake up in the middle of the night screaming. Yeah, I'll be screaming, and I've done

it this week because I'm afraid. I have a lot of well it's anxiety, and I think it's it's connected to ASMR too. I think people with high anxiety can experience the ASMR better because they need to chill. But like this weekend, I was, I was, I was afraid that the man, that the man next door is going to come attack me, and so I wake up screaming.

And you know, there was one time when I was in college, I lived in a house with four other people, and one time I woke up and in the middle of the night screaming because I thought I saw a demon in the top right corner, like and it looks like a black, large hornet flattening. And you know that moment people have, Yes, you know that moment when you're like are about to wake up, but you're still asleep and so you're like semi aware. Well, that happened to me.

I saw the demon hornet in the corner out of my bed, screaming, and I ran through the house screaming. And when did you realize you were screaming running through the house and there wasn't a hornet? Like there was. It dawned on you at some point and then you would like, slow down your pace. I heard the one my roommate go shut the fuck up, and I woke you up out of it. Yeah, I was like, oh, that was like, no, you don't understand there's a hornet.

I understood immediately that there was no hornet, and I was like, oh, oh sorry, and then I went back to sleep. God, your mind betrays you. Everyone has this where you're like, our mind hijacks us and convinces us of something that's just not real and not happening. Yes, and that's dreaming. Is like people Sam Harris, I like, oh that. He always says people are scared to do psychedelics and they're like, where it's my mind going to

see or they're scared to do. I guess it's like this, the fear of doing psychedelics, and he goes every single night you go to sleep, and your brain enters into a world that you have no conscious control of, that you are going, that you literally think you're in. You are in a hallucination every single night of your fucking life. What are you scared of? It's sleep is no different than tripping. It's just and you No one goes to I mean there unless you're in Freddy Krueger movies or

unless you know. I think that there are people that are scared to go to sleep because they have to wake up in the morning and like get up and like I'm scared of sleeping. Sometimes not because of dreams. I'm just scared of like I know this day, the next time over my eyes will be like work, I have to do it. Um. I'm not someone who um yeah, like you never. I never fear dreaming. If anything, I'm

always looking forward to it. But to do hallucinogens, I'm terrified of that, of like what hornets are going to chase me? And that thing? Even though every time I fall asleep I'm bound to see something like I would say, once a week, I have a scary dream, but I'm not fearful all the time. Um. So, I just think that's interesting that we do surrender to this thing that we literally have no idea why it happens, how it happens. Science like has not broken it yet. We enter into

that and we're not totally terrified. We don't judge it. But a hallucin like you know LSD and people are just like you know, there's so much stigma around that. Have you ever done hallucinogens? Brian No, And I am one of the people that's scared of it. The only drug I've done is is weed, and uh, every other drug I'm really scared of And like, um, that's sound really uncool. I'm just done. I've done doing weed is funny. Yeah, yeah, that's that just shows how I'm not cool, Okay, and

I am not cool, and I'm proud of it. Thought you were kind of cool? Yeah you're cool. The possum stories cool is fun? Cool? Think it's good to be cool? I don't think it's good. What Okay, we have to take a break. We have to hear why being cool is not cool to Brian Francis clear to get back. Okay, Brian, we're back. Why is being cool not cool? Well, I think people that are are being cool are generally trying too hard to put on some kind of persona that

isn't real, and it makes them, it makes them. Yeah, ok I listen to the podcast. There's actually there's two. There's one thing that I'm that I need clarification on. Okay, fine, So you used to say very frequently, uh, Noah is in Arizona, And I didn't listen to the episode where that was that became a thing. So I want to know, is Noah in Arizona or are you saying, like there there's a city in is it Arizona? She lives in Arizona? Okay? And it was just yeah, it just sounds cool, but

it's it's just true. When I heard that, I looked it up and it turns out there is a city in Arizona named Noah. Stop oh it has an H at the end. But I was like, maybe that's what they're saying. You're like, maybe there was like a thing about Noah Arizona. Yeah, And it's like as if you were saying, like and if you had a if your podcast producer was named Cleveland. If you're like in Cleveland's in Ohio, it would be like the same thing. That's funny.

I thought it was that joke. Well, thanks for doing that research and making the making that thing any more than what it was than just a factual statement that Noah actually lives in Arizona. Brian. I mean this is pretty much because what you're talking about, like, anyone who's cool has put an effort to be cool. Therefore it makes it uncool, yes, and it makes them less happy because now they're trying hard to put on a Brisona and they're not truly being themselves. And I think the

coolest thing you can do is be unapologetically yourself. Yes, honestly, yes that is. But you know what's so hard is you know, and I go back to this all the time. Chris always says to me, I've never met someone who wants to be something other than what they are more than you like, wants to like things that they don't like. And I've talked about this ad nauseum on here. So I apologize. But like I wish I was someone who liked to bake. I wish I was someone who liked

to organize. I wish I was someone who liked clean linens and like to smell them, and like I would picture Anya like when you would like fold things and you would just stare at your closet of folded things and you would be like hmm, Like, I wish I was that kind of person that like liked Yes, okay, well even more so, why did I had to pay you to do that for me? That person? Today? Because I have a pile of shit all over my bed

that needs to be folded. I really would love if you had an actual pile of shit um that you needed to fold. But uh, yeah, I wish I was that person, And I think that, yeah, when you are your coolest self, you're okay that you don't like those things like I. But it's so hard for me to

like I just being traveling yesterday. Traveling makes me so depressed because you're just alone all day with your fucking thoughts and you're just on your phone constantly, so you're comparing yourself to everyone, and it's just so hard not to hate yourself for the things that you're not or like the you know, because I always talking about like if you have a good body, it's because you got lucky with genetically, or you're just a person who likes to work out or has a motivation to do so.

And if you don't work out, it's not because you're a fat, lazy piece of shit, it's because you just don't have the brain that was you know that is conducive to working out every day. And you can't compare yourself to Kirstin Floorman, who loves working out because she was born with a athletic parents who have that genetic disposition to like working out, Like, it's not because you're a worse person, she just got lucky in that way. But it's hard not to think that why can I

be that way? Like why did she get that? And I did in and and go down that spiral? I mean I was like I was. I'm never someone who's like I need to get off Instagram, but yesterday I was in a bad place with it of like it's Instagram's trying to get me to kill myself. I think they're really which is anti is antithetical to what they actually want, which is me to live and keep spending money. Why are they trying to get us to be suicidal

and like hate ourselves? So much. And the truth is is because you can't sell anything unless someone feels deficient. You cannot sell a single product. I don't know why. I always have known that. But you have to understand people, no one even me selling this podcast to you. I have to make you feel in some way that you need this podcast in your life, that your life is

not good enough without listening to me. In order for you to listen to this podcast, everything that is a consumer product, you need to convince the person the consumer that they're not good enough in some way, their life is lacking. So there is not a single brand of clothing, a single uh you know, face soap or face wash or lip balm or you know, plus sized jumper that is not trying to make that is actually trying to make you feel good about yourself. They don't want that.

Maybe the people that created it, the woman behind this jumpsuit that cinches at the waist and makes you look thinner, she had a good thought in mind of like, I want to make bigger women feel confident about themselves. If you did actually feel confident about yourself, you wouldn't need

this fucking waist tightening suit. So it does not actually you might think that you want people to feel about it about themselves, but you wouldn't sell this thing unless if people did, if people like themselves for who they were. The only person who really wants you to like yourself is fucking Lizzo and she's look and even she's selling Yiddy that clothing line, and and to buy that line, you have to feel deficient in some way in your

life that I don't have that cute of leggings. I don't have like it's I I would never think that I'm someone that wants people to feel lacking in their life in order to sell what I'm selling. But I must because that's the only way to sell something. Yeah, I mean that's rule number one of sales is I think is you have to you have to establish a need and then you have to make them aware of that need, and then you can say I have a

solution to your problem. Yeah. Those old school commercials with the vacuum cleaners is always like the black and white picture with the person with the shitty vacuum cleaner going, this is so hard, and then like is this you? And it's like I guess it is me, and then like check out this vacuum cleaner that's in color. Even like I feel like my what I like to do my product is making people feel less alone, talking about my insecurities and being honest with myself so that people

feel less weird about themselves. But I need you to feel weird about yourself in order to need me. There's no shortage of that. You don't have to do anything because everyone feels weird about themselves like that. That's the thing about I think podcasts and like what what you're bringing to the table is that, like people, you're not providing the problem. People have the problem no matter what,

and you're providing some level of comfort. Yeah problem. But you know products do bring comfort, you know the massages and you know beds like linen, like nice things, comfy clothes. They bring comfort, but you need to create an air of discomfort in order for that person to buy it. And I just think it now when I look at products, I just go like, this product line, no matter how good, they are, trying to make me feel like like they care about me, they don't. They don't like me, they

hate me. They want they want me to be And by the way, if their product solve my problems, I wouldn't need it anymore. And they need repeat customers, they need you to come back. So it's not just it's pretty um disappointing when you think about it all. And I was just on yesterday. I told on you, I'm like, I gotta get off Instagram, and so we were, we made up, we both decided no more for today. And then I asked look at something and then she was like, god,

damn it. And I was like, I forgot how I got. I told her, I go, I think I'm over it too. I'm good for the rest of the night. I'm not going to get on Instagram. And then I closed my app and I reopened it and I was like, well, I told you to look at someone story that I don't want them to see that I saw their story, and I'm not that even I did it. I will not fucking make it a fake account to stock people. I will just ask my friends to do it. I'm not ever going to create a fake account to so

to look at someone. I feel like that is so low. I'd rather tell my friends, hey, will you look at her story so she doesn't know that I'm monitoring what she's doing, you know, Like I would rather do that, and then they screenshot it and send it to me, and then I have screenshots in my phone of this person's life, like it's much more incriminated account. I do this with my friend too, and I'm like, can I FaceTime you through your computer and then you point your

phones I could look at this story. That's so gay, But that's a good idea though. I mean, my friend the other day, I go, is he watching your stories about this this person that I was interested and who this person has blocked me on all of their things, so they I know they have a secret account to look at my stuff, but I know that I can't ever communicate with them knowing that they see it, you know, And I really want this person to like see how much I hate them. And it's not who you think

it is. If you're whoever is listening, um listeners, you don't. It's not who you think it is or who you might be thinking. You literally have no idea who this person is. Brian, I'll tell you at some point, but um, my friend, I know that they they follow my friend and that they my friend they sometimes watch their stories, and so I was like, put me on your story and I'm just gonna be like Kia and I'm just gonna do it. And she's like, I have like people

watching this. I go, you have to sacrifice it, because the only way that I'm gonna get my message through into this person is to be like ka. So I'm like, every time I'm with her, I'm like, can we please shot some kids to throw this person's away? And then she screenshots it to be like he saw it. I'm like, yes, he knows what I think of because he knows that I know that he's watching that. Because she doesn't have that many followers. It's like, it's totally, um, it's such

a low thing for me to do. But final thought, when people watch your Instagram stories, that's how you know they're jealous of you. They're they like you, they hate you. Like if that is the number one litmus test, would you disagree to find out if someone's Like if I suddenly see a famous person or a certain guy or a certain girl watching my stories, I go someone's checking in on me, someone's jealous, someone's like it's because I know.

That's the only reason I watch people's stories. I Mean, sometimes you go through stories because you're bored and you're just bad blah blah blah blah. But if you're going through someone stories that you've never gone through and you pop up undermine, I know what you're doing. I mean, I look at your stories, what does that mean? Because Okay, or you're their friend and you do it all the time. Like when you watch my stories, I'm not like, oh my god, he's jealous or he's checking in on me.

I'm just like, it's my friend Brian, Like that's there's a caveat there. That's different. When Anya or Noah watching my stories, I'm not like, oh, she like is jealous of my skin tone today? I'm just like And by the way, when people think when I say it, I think people are jealous of me, I know that they shouldn't be. I'm saying this with like, I'm jealous of people all the time too, And I guess I'm just projecting. When I'm watching someone stories, I don't watch a lot.

It's usually because I'm like, what do they get? Oh my god, what are they doing in their life? Why I'm comparing myself to them being like how am I deficient? Okay, sorry I interrupted? What did you say? Well? When you watch a story of someone that you're not following. This definitely applies. Oh yeah, I mean that's I. I have guys that I've met in passing or you know, I could they and then suddenly they just start showing up under my Instagram story and it's a way to flirt.

It's a way to go, hey, I'm here. When I've been single before, I've done it where I've just start watching guys stories that I'm not following because I know that my blue check mark is going to send me to the top of their views and then they'll know I'm interested. And then that starts the discourse in a bumble type way. That is like me making the first move, but not really. And girls, by the way, if you're own bumble, do not make the first move. That's not

going to work for you. Maybe do an emoji, but don't actually say anything like hey, what's your favorite movie? Like guys, don't you can't do that. Girls, don't make the first move. You can make emoji move, Okay, yes, but it has to be an emoji or something. Bumble forces the girls to make the first move, but just do it very subtly, like just a picture, like a like or a tap or something. Don't do an actual sentence. I think that's fantastic advice. I don't the question like

a too hard question. I think is not a good thing to do. Oh no, guys don't want to be interviewed, and yeah, it's no, don't do that. And then let's real quick because just for the sake of doing it, because we had it planned, let's do a top one bottom one. Um, okay, and the category today because we have the The author and creator of Apple rankings dot com um is Brian Frangie, which you gotta check out

Apple rankings dot com. It is so funny and it really is a passioned, hilarious take on every kind of apple. And and he does like a was it like a nine point rating system, a rubric You used the word rubric less n F one hundred, the frani one hundred. It is my namesake and my legacy. And I have no children, and this is all I say. This, This

is all I have. UM. So it's a it's broken down into nine categories that are ten points to each except for one category, taste, which is weighed twice at twenty points, and it adds up to one hundred and then I do give bonus points for certain factors like use, uniqueness, things like that. But yeah, it's the F one hundred, so it's out of one hundred. But it's not like a it's not like a test where sixty five is pass and like you're not good if you're not a

ninety or above. It's like a it's like a bell curve. Okay, well I don't know what that means exactly, but um, yes, okay, so it's but it's just you. Do you feel like your take on these apples is like the right take or is it just your opinion? Like do you feel like you have a better palette than most people? I don't feel like I'm superior to anybody other than that I have tried all these apples, and there's a lot of people who think they like an apple and it's

just that they haven't tried enough apples. It's got it. Now. There's a few apples that people are passionate about that they all love, and I just can't get honey crisp. Well, the honey Crisp is is a tolla fiji. Uh yeah, So like there's certain apples that everyone that many people are like mad at me, like my mouth is watering looking at his site, it's so weird. Well, don't you describe what do you describe Biting into a Red Delicious as it's one of my a leather glove coffee coffee

grinds in a leather glove is with accurate. It is a thick skin, merely disgrace. And it used to be a good apple. It used to be a good apple back in the turn. Will you get them? Sometimes you can get a good red Delicious where you bite into it and it cracks off. You don't have to go there's no like, I don't even know if you have a word for that, where you have to like put your teeth through it. I like when you bite an apple and you can just go crack and you just

crack it off and it's like a jawbreaker almost. Oh, it's so good. Okay, let's um. Let's do our top one bottom one today. It's gonna be rapid fire. This has to be quick. We're doing fruit. That's the category top one, bottom one. Let's start with bottom one because we always do what is your least favorite fruit? Brian, Well, I have a new bottom one. It's not it's not the least favorite apple. I'm gonna do not least favorite fruit.

But that's okay. I just found the golden russet apple, which I labeled a putrid corpse because it's like, it looks like it's a decomposing, you know, stinking corpse. It looks like the you know, like the Adams family. It looks like an apple that they would use. Um, it's good for side production. But the apple that I bought at the farmer's market they stink like shit. Yeah, okay, So an apple that stinks and looks like a corpse and then it doesn't taste good. God, what'd you call

the golden russet? Golden russet? It's good for sight something a fucking a russet? A potato? Yeah, an apple parlance russet is the brownish, rust like skin. I don't need to finish a sentence. Okay, So okay, my least favorite fruit is uh great fruit. I don't get it. I know, it's like a diety, like everyone loves it. It tastes bitter, it's not good. It doesn't make it. I don't I had it in a salad the other day. Anya, you

were you witnessed me eat it. I ate around it and then I was still hungry then and I was like, okay, fine, I'll eat the great fruit. And it was just like so gross and better MENO like, um uh, okay, on your what's your least favorite? Love the look of this fruit? Really disappointed by the taste of a dragon fruit. I don't know what a dragon fruit is. It looks like, you know, cookies and cream, ice cream. It's just it. Yeah,

it's beautiful, but it tastes like shit. That was on I got to the hotel on Saturday and I couldn't eat it because I was just like or on Sunday and I was like, I don't even I don't want to try this. Okay. So it's not a good taste, not very good, just not satisfacing, not sweet. Yeah all right, noah. My least favorite, I'd have to say, is the orange. Too much work, not enough satisfaction at the end. What about a little cutie? Yeah, those are no work. Those

come off like so easily. Those are different ones. Fourth weeks, It's like like, like a tangerine is fine, but I just like orange, not into it. I don't like the way you say this whole bit about oranges. Oranges he hates. Yeah, Noah says a very long bit. Wait do you say orange, Bryan, you're orange? Orange? Okay, right, do you hear the difference? Noah, orange and water water water water water water? Yeah? Uh cute? Okay orange? Um orange? So okay, let's get to the best.

What's your favorite fruit? Sweet tango? Favorite apple? Has a sweet tango apple. It's a it's a crisp, crunchy apple. It's only available in September and October every year. If you get it outside of those months, then it's probably been frozen and shipped from New Zealand. It's not gonna taste as good unless you live in New Zealand. Oh my god, rapid fire. Good to know sweet tango. Yeah, I'm sure you have um my favorite fruit. This is

going to be controversial. Um honeydew. I love it. It is fresh, it is light, it is always sometimes it can be right like if it gets like, you know, it turns. I think that's when people get turned off from the honeydew. Is they It can easily turn and ruin a fruit salad and just be that stinky kind of like mildewy thing, but a fresh honeydew. I just I like the color. It's a soothing color. It's um

feels light on sugar. You can eat a massive amounts of it, which I love anything that you can just eat a ton of and never stop and um, and it's really like hydrating. I just think it's so fresh. I like it better than cantelope. I know it's a that's a hot take, um, but that is how I feel. That is a hot take. Honeyde perfectly ripe. M No, I'll take it. I'll take it crispy, I'll take it like I don't you know, I just like it any

I like it any way. I'm a m I'm a melon head, as I Chris used to call me because I would just eat melon all day. And I'm just I took a break from fruit for a while because I was just like trying to avoid sugar. But now I'm back in the honey honeydude, why do? Why pizza and honeydo? I'm back in baby like. I love it too much. Don't not combined obviously, okay, an ya, what is your favorite fruit? Well, even though I went through a huge mango phase of nicky nose, and a mango

recently took out part of my tooth bonding. I have to go with braybur and apples. They're crispy, they're dependable, they're delicious, and burn aren't those kind of like aren't those like when you bite into it goes like no, no, it breaks off? Or is it breaks off? Okay? Yeah? What do you think? Can you tell us aboutburn? Brayburn is I called the civil rights apple because it was back in the fifties. Back in the fifties, single colored

apples were the rule of the day. You had a red apple and a green apple, but you didn't have any apples that would sell that were multi colored. And the brayburn was the first apple that was both red and green, and it took over the marketing because people were like, I don't think this is a brand. It's like those cotton candy grapes. People are by it. It paved the way for multi colored apples to become a

part of It's like the Winnie Harlow of apples. But they are disappearing because they are susceptible to certain diseases and they're really hard to make, and so there's a lot of Brayburn children that have Brayburn parentage that are becoming more popular than the Brayburn And over the next ten years, you're probably not going to see Brayburn's outside of Armor's markets or orchards. They're going to get disappear.

I mean, you look like this close up shot of you looks like at MP our guy giving like a agricultural front lines. Uh report um, okay, good to know. Thank you so much, Brian for informing us about the heritage and the future of the braybur and apple. And then Noah, what is your favorite fruit? Okay, this is gonna be It's gonna be this is gonna be a crazy I just know your answer is gonna be insane. Okay,

my true favorite fruit is the apricot. But I'm gonna say again and saying what the fun Those are only consumed dry? Has never heard of a wet apricot? Yes, they're not wet. That's the one that army hammer fucked. Um. And and that's an eight or is that of someone's arm A stone fruit? Okay, yes, okay, stone fruit is always you call it, yeah, because they have a little core that's a stone a pit. Okay, I never heard of that. I like that the pit is like always clean.

There's like never any like like tents or anything like that. Clean pit. Yeah, all right, and then what you said, but but I want to hear Brian do a rapid fire about my favorite apple, which is the Granny Smith whoa yeah, controversial, bitter gran very divisive apple. It's an apple that I get a lot of flak four because I rank it very low because it I think it's sour. It's definitely the most sour app for baking, right, it's a baking apples get. I give it a fifty seven

out of one hundred. It's too thick skinned, it's a very my stomach hurt thinking about my mouth is watering again. It makes your gums bleed. Scientifically, yes, yes, mouth watering. Your gums will bleed, your tooth enamel will road um. But it also has a lot of fibers, so it's good for pooping. And you just sold something for me from from childhood because I love I love Granny Smith.

The one time I bit into one and there was blood in it, and I thought I ate a worm, but I but never explained to me why it starts really of blood. Do they Maybe they do. I don't know. I don't go fishing. There's actually an enzyme. There's an enzyme in the Granny Smith apple that makes certain people's Oh wow, yeah, all right, Brian, I ask you really quick. My mom is from Kazakhstan, and she claims that apple's originated in Kazakhstan. And there's actually a book called that

Is it true? Do you know this true? That is where the original apple came from. Wild apples all came from Kazakhstan. Thank you, Spica. Oh. I just got a text that my sister's dog is being put down today, so we gotta go. Um, everyone rip Wilson. He's filled with tumors and he has to be put down today. I just gotta text. I'm so sorry to end on a sad note, but um, that is the circle of life. He ate a bad apple. Um, oh, sweet Willie, it's

so sad. Fuck. Okay, I'm sorry to end it on that, but I have to go because I actually am going to the dermatologist to get a bunch of stuff injected in my face so i'll look different next week. Um, there will be one less dog in the world. But maybe I'll add a dog to my life. I know, I'm sorry. I didn't mean above it ever your mind, but it's gonna be okay. He'll go peacefully surrounded by his loved ones and it's a better solution for him. Been living with all these tumors. All right, guys, thanks

for listening. Have a great weekend. Um, I love you and don't be cut And jack fruit was not talked about. But is that a fruit? We'll discut us sever