#313 Eggnog On Feet

very anticho. You're probably one of people who talk to it. Um. There were a lot of antiquilantic things leading up to that. Actually it was pretty good. I did. I did appreciate the wreck, and it was not as bad of a recommendation as what did I say was the worst? Oh, the hatchet wielding hitchhiker. So it was like a great thing to watch? Did it? And I for some reason missed that entire storyline. I don't know if you knew

about this guy. He got like a lot. He went viral in two thousand thirteen for fighting off a guy who had slammed his car into a man. This hatchway, it doesn't even matter. Whenever this guy made the news in two when a year I was very savvy and paying attention to things, and he went viral, and I don't know how I missed it, but he was everywhere. It feels like. I was like, do you ever have something happening where you haven't heard of it? And you go like, how did I miss that? All the time?

Any murder, any murder? What do you mean any murder? If there's a murder, I didn't hear of it. That's weird because I got my finger on the pole, like, what is there a murder recently that you've been Like? WHOA, I can't believe I missed. I didn't know about Idaho untill you guys told me really well, you know, because that's you're like into old murders, Like did you I'm kind of stuck on some, but I should know. But you know that Delphi when I started. By the way,

let me set the stage. Taylor McGraw is here. She's been on the show. She was all last week back by popular demand both from everyone here and um all the best. He's love you too. Also, I just want to say that Taylor is living in St. Louis now. That's why she is on the podcast so much more. The first time you heard her when she was on with Me and Andrew was you were living in New York's right, not too far from where Onya is right now, right, so weird and just randomly, I mean, like, you're my

friend from high school? Is my friend from um college college? Whatever? No, it was probably yeah, I was probably twenty grade because it was ten years ago in unions, so ty grade was Anya and yeah, and then you moved back here and now you're living here and you also are working for me kind of, Um, she's my boss, she's my housekeeper. I feel like I'm your boss, like I I fucking love you as my housekeepers, like you have keeping it.

It's just the best thing too. And I know again this is like, uh, just privilege that I'm able to have this, because, as you know, so many people have kids and husbands and jobs, and they also have to fold their own clothes and for the way their stuff. But I don't have to. I walk in the door with a bunch of suitcases every week and Taylor empties them and then or put it all away. You guys don't understand my life has been for twenty years of getting home and never unpacking and living out of that

suitcase until I have to pack again. So it's honestly recently since you've been doing this for me, I get. I don't know what to do with myself. Sometimes I'm just so excited when everything is in its place. It makes your life, It just is. It shows me how much of my mental anguish comes from, like my environment. But then when things are clean, you go, well, I got something else that this isn't I used to put all my anxiety in this, And now what I organize.

I check all the pens and make sure they still have ink. I mean, you do get, wow, what's the most like, what is the craziest thing you found that won't be completely humiliating to me but also humiliating you can do because I mean, I really don't have a secret pile of money, like the biggest pile I've ever seen, and Ken talked about that it was already this fat.

It was like, explain when it was from? Um No, I can't because I don't remember where all that casheap when I got lost and it was, oh, you know what's from? When I am living in l A, which I was for October November. You get paid cash for these sets you do. And I am not used to working in l A and making like so much money every night, but celebrities get paid so much for stupid stuff.

I do a fifteen minutes set a thing that, by the way, I used to pay to do, like so the idea and then once you make it, clubs would pay you seven dollars. I would have to sign a little piece of paper, I mean two fift at the improv I was working, I'd signed a piece of paper and get paid seven dollars and I'd be like, what is even the point of all this? And then you perform for hundreds of people. But it's just the way

it was. And now I go and there's like people running the shows like outsourced and they pay comics well and so and you get paid in cash and it's so nice. So that's what that is all from. And nowhere takes cash. Yeah, so it just stops. So that actually said anything like just a beauty item, like anything that what do you do? Like last week I told you my vibrators. I was like, I'm so sorry because

I bring those on the road. One at least, and I'm like, I was like, you don't have to touch that, like I hope you know that anything that is like sex, you're not like I just like I pins it, you pins it with your fingers. What if I you know, I like smell nikes, I want you pick it up with your mouth. I smell your armpits of things to see if it's that sure doesn't smell. I don't stink.

It's smell like you. If you smelled mine, you would bar But I just thought, what if I smelled your dillies to see if they were not used to should always see me? I feel like they always seem clean because well I used to have a cleaner and I would feel so good about myself when I would go and use them in limb like go Usually I just run them underwater, but that doesn't get everything off. Sometimes, like so I had the spray that this company sent me, and I would always feel like I am such wife,

a good housewife, cleaning off my diltos bath. Yeah, but now it's just after you come you just kind of want to like I don't know, I'm just like pull it out or whatever. I've just pull it off and then just throw it on the bedspread. It gets kind of like, come on your on your comforter. That's probably how they got their names. That's the name of the store. Come on your comforter, Come on like a Frankfurter comfort. Yeah, and then it bleaches it kind of I don't know

what's in my sucking biches, but that's the truth matter. Um. But yeah, you haven't come across anything too. It's just so nice to have someone who goes through all your wares under and other, um and not have any shame about it, which I never have. But also when someone's like doing stuff for you, you tend to like not want to be there because it just seems like, yeah, I think I'm talking, although I want you here because

I'm like, what the fund is that? Remember? You're like I was like what, I couldn't figure out what it was? And they were singing straws. People who go on my Instagram live know exactly what a singing straw is. It's like the thirty seven people who watched me sing on Instagram from this podcast account, Um, they are. Yeah. There are things that help you set your chords in the

right way. You like straight saying through them, but someone had recently in the comments when I was singing one day, it was like, singing straws have been the m v P of two for Nicky, and I was like, you're so right, and I defend on that so much. But now I've got a new vocal teacher who hasn't mentioned singing straws even once. Um. Speaking of singing, we did

lots of it this weekend. Um. I was on the road so many good shows, only two, but it felt like, I don't know, I just felt like a whole thing. I was on the road with Anya uh in the Band of the Natural Lines, who opened for me in New Haven, Connecticut, and in New York City, heard of it at hundred seats of baby. How did that feel?

I mean like I tricked someone. There was a part of me that was like, people are just here because they like got free tickets, So I don't even know, you know, like you know, don't let it in, but also know it felt amazing. I was so appreciative and I hope everyone has a good time. And I'm like kind of burdened by thinking like at least there are at least like this is low three people who like hated me that got brought along like they were just like I didn't like this show and they're allowed to.

I mean, there's three people leaving A Dell's shows that are just like, you know, like no matter where because someone gets brought along. None of my fans went there and went, oh that was awful. I didn't like lose anyone that night, but I didn't. There's some people that left, and that really irks me. But at the same time it doesn't. I just don't focus on it. I don't think about those three people, even though it sounds like I do. I'm just thinking of them right now, but

I really don't. Um. But then I also it's I don't let in too much good and I don't let in too much bad, like the like who is the quote an is that you told me in an acting in an acting class that I took from him. You're never as good as you thought you were, and you're never as bad as you thought you were. Yeah. Harry Styles also said a thing similar to that of like the people who love you are wrong and the people who hate you are wrong. Everyone's wrong like no one's

or they're not right. I guess was the point like the people who are like fanatical about you and think you're like the fucking best are probably cool. Yeah, and the people, but you know what, I think people are the best, and I I know they are. I am very confident in my taste. I cry sometimes when people aren't on howard with my taste? Do you ever get offended off by that? I don't love my Taylor Swift. No, that's like you gotta be the right place, right time.

You're wrong, and I know that, but I'm not like you know what I mean? The thing is, if you thought she was crap and not talent, don't you would there's something wrong with your brain. She's you watch her live, you watch her performances. There's just no doubt she's She's phenomenal. Um. But in terms of like being obsessed with her, no, I'll let like, you don't know one. No one needs to do that. Millions of us do and so millions can't be wrong. So I don't want to tell you

there but no to each his own for that. But sometimes I don't know. I just get um, uh, like this is good, and if you don't think it's good, I question my friendship. Sometimes that makes sense. If people don't like Peter Gabriel. Think about that. You got Gabriel? Which one does? What does he saying? Sledge hammer? Oh? I love that song. Yes, Red Rain is coming down. Wait till karaoke, baby? Really? Oh yeah, karaoke is coming up. We're gonna sing for Taylor's birthday and practicing. Are you

gonna sing sang a lot this weekend? Maybe? What's your karaoke song on you? Singers don't like karaoke really, I hate it. I'm like, just let me control the volume and the mixing. This whole mix is bad. I agree with you. Be in a loud bar. I need my vocal to be super loud. I need the crowd to be church like, and I need the track to be quiet, and I need multiple takes. I feel the same way.

That's why I like to go to the places where you can control that stuff, and if you can't, you just have it's a it's a practice and letting go. But I have the same thing issues with karaoke places. People sing too loud, the music is terrible, and everyone's talking and it's like and sometimes songs are too long. Someone will pick a song that's your song and it's like, okay, you warn off that you're a bad singer. No, you don't know, you shouldn't be. There should be like a

little warning next to it. It's like, if you ain't good, you're gonna lose everyone, and they're gonna result. It will be my warning because there's going to need to be some No. I think we're gonna have so much fun,

but um, I just suffer with that. When Anya and I this weekend, uh, well, every weekend, Anya and I usually sing the last song of hers together or she lets me sing most of it, and then um the man and then I. Then we've been adding on Anti Hero after it, just for fun because I've been practicing that song in my voice class and I'm a little bit more confident with it and everyone knows it. It's like a number one song right now and it's fun to sing along. But then this weekend we had the

Natural Lines, which is Matt pond on his fiancee. My tour managers banned and they opened and it was so much fun, and they'd opened before, but we sang. They had me come out for Anti Hero at the end of then. It was so freaking fun. It was so good. It was and you nail and to just Yeah, to be on the road with that many people too is so fun too, because there's always someone to talk to

if you need them to. If you need someone. Something I'm realizing I really need in my life is like if I need someone to talk to you, they're around. That's the good thing about marriage or like living with someone is that I know people are like, I need my space, but like when I you can get your space. When you live with someone, you just like take a go somewhere or something different. But when you live alone, you don't get to just suddenly conjure someone to talk

to you. I mean you can on the phone, but in person it just feels different. Does anyone anyone? I get like lonely, um, and I just need not even like I want a conversation. I just want someone there to watch something with me. But I wanted to story. Yeah, come just put you peek over my shoulder. Yeah, I don't know, I just want someone there. Um. And So I think that that's because I'm like, I don't know.

There's so many like good things about marriage and like forever with someone, and then there's so many parts that people are like that's hard. You know, it's a constant battle, and you go sign up for that and they're like, no matter what, there's gonna be huge problems. Well, people go like, it's you're gonna have huge You're gonna have

moments where you want to call it quits. And I'm like, I don't want to do I don't want to sign up for something that brings me a lot of pain that I have to just swallow and be like and people saying but in a marriage, you can't run away. It's like, I love running away just co hab. Why

do you have to get married. That's the thing that's weird to have is a lot because you're like, oh god, if I just I don't want to do this, he's got to like move his bed out and stuff, and I gotta well, yeah, I've made him set up in another bedroom. But a lot of successful married couples sleep in separate rooms. No, I've already said that, Like I'm um looking at houses coming up in l A just

to see what's out there. And my specs have been two rooms or three rooms, one for like a studio, one for me, and one for my husband's to be partner husband's Evelyn hugo uh to sleep in when we're in a fight and there's no guest room, because I don't want to encourage guests like unless unless it's like you guys, and it's like one person. I don't want people thinking that there's a space for them there. Now, you can't be too accommodating. And if there is, I'll

be like, yes, there is. But my boyfriend I are fighting right now, so he's he's sleeping in it every time I come to town. Well, things aren't going well. But you know what, that's what a relationship is. There's a lot of ups, a lot of lows. Man, Like, you get kicked when you're down, you get kicked when you're up. And I mean, honestly, it's the same way I feel about the kids thing, which update, I decided not to freeze the legs. But you guys all know, but I was no. I don't know if you knew it.

I decided I put the kobash or what they say, eggs. It's on my eggs. Yeah. The fact that I pulled out Amy Klobaschar's name. And I also could not come up with Nancy Pelosi being the secretary or a speaker of house. I mean I know certain things. Um, so

what happened? No more eggs freezing. I went to go get my prescription before my appointment the other morning, and it was the appointment to be like, here's how you do your medicine, and once you pick up the meds, you can't return the meds, which, by the way, I did ask. I go, it's there's seven thousand dollars about and I go, I know, for one round and they might need to add on. So I already knew these costs going in. It's not more. It's not more than

they told me up front. But when you see it at Walgreen's, you don't pay seven thous for anything at Walgreens. So he's stressed me out. It's like, but it's a nice wall Greens. It's like it's it's not even at Walgreens. It's just like they don't have anything extra. It's just a pharmacy and you walking into just it's fertility stuff. Like everyone everyone that work walked in there looked a little bit. So, uh yeah, fertile is what I met. Not not desperate, so um, no offense, but I felt desperate.

I walked in and I'm just like waiting for this woman to get her fucking eggs to go or her eggs supply. Yeah, she just like walks out with it, puts it in a cooler, and I can tell she's going to her desk job, and I'm like, this bitch is gonna have to go to the bathroom and eject herself and spend she probably doesn't work. Yeah, work, because that's what happened. Like you gotta like this is the

whole thing. So I didn't learn what I have to do because I get to the front and I go, can I return these I'm about to go to appointment. I'm supposed to bring them so she can show me how to work them. But can I bring them back if I decide I don't want to? And she was like no, She goes, they should have demos over there. Come back, she would like go, and I was like, god, I go pay for it. And I pulled out my card and she goes they have demos, and I was like,

I'll take this as a sign. So I leave and I got over there and Anya calls me on the way and I cried to Anya about like, here's the things I want about it, here's the things I don't and then I go in there and I, uh, we'll tell you what happened right after that. So I go in to the clinic for my appointment, where I like, we're starting things. This is it, no backing out, But

I don't have my meds with me. The doctor clocks that I see her as I get taken to my room, I can see she clocks that I don't have any scare suitcase or a suitcake of meds to inject myself with. So I know she knows. And we've texted the day before because I was like, I'm having doubts. She's like, talk to me about them. I go, I don't want to talk to the phone. We'll talk about it. No, actually, I'm gonna do it. You're right, I'm gonna do it.

Like I don't know what convinced me to do it that day, but I was like, I'm gonna do it. So I'm back and forth with her and she knows. And then I go in there and they're like, they told me to undress, so I have no pants on, and I'm like in the stirrups with the sheet over my legs and I know I'm putting my pants back on without I'm not getting doing any of this. So the doctor comes in and she's like, what's going on, And I was like, I just feel like I'm not

doing this for me. I don't relate to any of those ornaments on your tree up there. The ornaments are still there, being like, don't ever give up. You can do this, go for what you want. I'm like, I don't relate to a single ornament from one of those baby children that got conceived here. I did not want here. We're written by women who are going through the fertility process, right, No, they're written written by women who the bait. The kids

have been conceived there. So when they come in for like maybe they're trying to conceive more and the kid that they did already have their they like write a thing and the mom looks like sweets written and they're all written by kids. But it's cute. It is cute if I listen, if I were a woman who was like, my fertilities in question, I want a baby so bad, like it would be uplifting to me to read those, But that's not where I'm at, Like I don't want this and I don't want to do this, and so

much money. And so I got in there and she was like, I think we put UPO. I was like instantly like crying, and I was like, if we do get eggs, they're gonna be fucking stressed out because this is stressing me out so much. They're just gonna be like they're gonna look like those emojis that are like like just that's what the eggs will all look like

under a microscope? Is that like stressed out emoji? And so she was like, let's put a pause, and she was very understanding, and I was like, I'm sorry, I've wasted your time and your money. I was like, but I've already put on down down payment so I know that you'll keep that. And then she was like, no, we won't you get that back. And I'm like, what are down payments if you don't have I was thinking of a down payment as you don't get that back?

Dot it back? Why because they're just making sure you're kind of serious, but like what secures your place line? Okay, okay, but I just don't really yeah, because you didn't they do work. They called me a lot. They well they didn't do that, but the actual work that they that's for the Yeah, but I don't know. There was a lot of clerical work done. I know that like work when they're still charging you for the appointment. I know, I go in there and take that money back if

you didn't get it, I know. I just I'm too. I just feel guilty because I talked on the phone with so many of these women and cried to them and gone into for appointments, Like it just felt like I was giving up on this thing that they were like had dollar signs in their eyes about me, and even that they actually care about me there. I know they do because they let me go, and so that made me feel very taken care of. But I don't know, I do feel bad when someone sees like money coming

in and they're excited. We all get excited about a big chunk of money and then it goes away, Like I kind of feel bad. Yeah, but they're not there. It's not like their business. They're just thinking if they're not going to more for the doctor, it's her practice. She but she's going to make it. Struggling comedian, like you're thinking about this, like young Nikki Glazer in the scene China earn her family Elon musk. She's a doctors aren't like she has bills to pie. I don't know.

I just I'm saying it's a very similar guilty feeling over canceling and Airbnb early and I had like AVI had to do it because I was like, but they're relying on our two dred and forty dollars, like we can't do this even though we had nothing to do in truth or consequences. Remember, um, but you know what, in the terms of the Airbnb, the owner of the of the house said you can cancel. So so I'm sure somewhere in the terms she was looked at me

like I was crazy. When I was like keeping just keep it, I like fought her and she was like, no, it's not policy to me exactly therefore, so I do understand that. So I was just she made me feel better about it, and I did convince myself like I've paid for the appointment, and you know, this is just this is the price of doing business for them. It's like they're gonna lose something like you gotta have a

wide net. Um. But yeah, as soon as I decided not to though, oh my god, I just felt so free and so good of like I honestly felt like I got my tubes tied, like it was that final of like, you know what, I could have fucking a million babies. I'm a fertile, fucking bitch. If I wanted one, I could get comed up in right now and spit out like I know it, Like I feel like it was me more like wanting just to be fertile. And I just know if I wanted, if I want one,

I'll make it happen. And if I can't have one with my body, I will adopt and I will be happy to do it. I'll always find a way. So this whole thing of like I need to make sure that there's a way. It's just fertility is just the first thing you get stolen from you, the ability to have your own baby with your d n A as a human being. Men will not understand this, but it is the first thing as you it older that there's

no baxxieson. You can't go back on it. And it's this thing that is like the reason you're a species, the reason your species exists, the reason you're there is because of this thing that is now going to be that that opportunity is going to be stolen from you. It's like, and men don't understand that men can do it forever. So it's there's there's other things that will

summon when you get older. I cannot someone infertile, yes, impotent, So I and I would empathize with those men if they told me about their infertility, because it is a hard thing to lose, even if you don't want it. It's a hard thing to not be able to do a thing that you were put on this earth to do. So it's like it's the it's almost like do you as a kid, do you remember like not being able to Maybe I've said this on the podcast before because I thought of this before, but uh, you lose ability

like order off the kids menu. That's like the first thing you lose as a kid or kids rise. Yeah, like you lose that, you go I can never do that again. Teacups you can go on because its adults could go on with kids. But I mean, can you think of anything else you lose? You lose um kid's menu because people just kind of got kids. You can't be wild and like knocked stuff over. I remember when I was like a team. They're like you have to stop,

and I was like, oh please, maybe wild anymore. There are certain places where you can maybe even let that out. I'm talking like, never, bitch, um, you kept your parents pay for you. I remember when losing my parents insurance when I was like twenty six, they were like, so you gotta get your own medical insurance now. I was like, what what do you mean? What about the phone plan? Also? I was on their phone plan for a while. I felt like I'm still in my sister and brother's phone plan.

I don't know how to pay that ship. And as as soon as I got enough money, I hired someone to become my daddy again and like take care of all, like my insurance. I don't do any of that stuff. It scares me because you up so much to do. But no, I would. I don't know what I would. I would be delinquent on everything if I was if I didn't have money, I would be really bad about maybe not maybe I would have gone to debtors anonymous

or something. But I even now, I have bills that I'm forgot to send to my person that takes care of it, and I know that they're just I have. I'm scared there's going to be like a warrant out for my arrest for like not paying for an m R I or something. I think that's how it really like, But don't you serve jail time if you just dodge bills for the rest of your money? People so much money collections, But what a collection is going to do? They'll find people. You'll have to be like, okay, okay,

well then it's on you, collection. And that's a good idea, yeah, because there are you. There is a way to get that money. You're sending the bills to the wrong address. Send them to twenty cross Ways park. Um. But I, uh yeah, I just felt so much better after making that decision that I bought a couch that I'm really excreted about. And I just feel like I have so much money right now because I'm not going to have kids. I literally feel like I just want millions of dollars

I do I did that stressed? You got all that money and you're also not stressed? Yes, And I leave myself the option to do it someday. But I am so not stressed. And I don't have to gain a bunch of weight by sticking these things in myself, like I might regret it. Someday, but I don't really think I'm going to because I got as far as you could go to do it. It's not like I just was like, whoops, he forgot to do it. Oh I regret, not like I went to the edge and I did

not jump. I'm so proud of you because we were listening. I was listening to your messages on the girl's chat about it was so sad. If anyone if this was a friend of mine going through something not related to egg freezing, and I just listened to these like the amount of stress and dress and fear and anxact it in your voice, I would be like, we need to

send somebody to get this girl out. She sounds like a prisoner, like doing something against her own while I was so proud of you that you risked other people's disappointment and whatever other people think of you to listen to that inner voice in you that was like I don't want to do this, Yeah, I mean it all.

You kind of nailed it for me, as like it just I'm so obsessed with being like wanting to like what other people like, and I just feel like I know there are so many people out there like me that don't want kids, but I'm I don't hear enough of that still, Like it just still gets It's it's inevitable at thirty eight that those messaging, that messaging not only biologically starts like kind of screaming at you to do it, but then you just start kind of paying

attention to all of it outside of you, and it's just like, oh, I need to do this thing. It's just so Yeah, it was a lot of admitting that I don't It's okay, I don't want what other girls want. Yes, it's so hard. I try to surround myself with like, you know, the algorithm knows what we want now too, So I'm trying to like unfollow things I don't. I don't want all this garbage in my face constantly about like plastic surgery, about looking all I have. Yeah, and

it's like it will drive you crazy. I've been just watching Courtney Love videos and listening to her. I mean, she's but I have a good example someone that are a little bit off the beaten path, you know. I want. I want to unfollow everyone on Instagram. This is what I want. I'll still have an Instagram still post. I

literally want to follow unfollow everyone except Lizzo, Camille Caustic. Literally, um, I'm trying to think of anything the dodo Um just any and but there's certain body positive accounts that I don't want, so I know that you're like also because there's a lot like Saggy Sarah and stuff like that, Like I like her, but I don't want to lean into focusing on my body too much of being like I just don't Lizzo in Um Camocoustic are just like they always make me feel good about having whatever, but

my body is I mean, Neocoustics a fucking supermodel. So it's like both the ends of the spectrum. So I've been focusing on that more like, but I don't think it's crazy. I really want to wipe my Instagram and I don't want to do it like I'm cool or something like I don't care what's going on with anyone else, and I'm trying to be a celebrity that acts like I don't follow people. Secretly, I literally don't want to follow anyone anymore. I don't want to know what's going

on out there. But I mean, I guess I could just still catch up with life on because I don't really scroll anyway, but I do. I do the Explore page. That's that's sucking. TikTok. They get me. I don't know what Chelsea Handler has been saying about being single and childless. I need more of that to let me know it's okay. Then I chose, and there are so many women and I don't need to read the comments on Chelsea stuff

that are like she's the that like. Then I just start going like, well, if you talk like this or you live like this, who's gonna hate you? And then I read the comments and I go, yeah, it is bad to be this. Comments suck man, even for me. I've just started. I noticed the other day I almost went to comments before I watched the video itself, just to be like, is it what are people saying about this? Why don't And that's normal. You read movie reviews before

you go to the movie. But comments are not Siskel and Ebert just whoever said the funniest quippiest thing? First you know is that what they do, like comments are just the algorithm sent shoots up the top comments and it's either something funny because they're being made fun of, so you just if it permeates how you then view the thing like more than the most viable. Yeah, it's true. I even try to avoid what Matt thinks of a movie because I can tell subconsciously sometimes I adopt his

point of view. And I hate couples that are like we loved such and such movie, like did you both

that the same opinion? Like our one brain. I just saw this person I used to like really like I saw like like this, you can just see like what movies they watch kind of thing, you know what I'm saying, Like there's someone that like I don't talk, like I've block on everything, but I can just see what movies they're watched because they're in some like website where you just move for cinephiles, okay, and you can just and it just always shows what movies they're watching, and they

like write reviews and stuff, and I like, because I don't know, it's just the only and I don't ever go to it that much, but like maybe once every six months, and I saw that this person like like like gave licorice pizza four stars, like five stars, and I was like, oh god, I in that moment, I don't even like this person or want to be with them, but I was like, I can't believe I ever did like this person like that. I disagree on that movie.

So again it comes back to taste. That movie to me was so kid and like trying to be sweet. There were parts of it like I love I Love all the Time sisters, especially the one that played the lead character. I loved the acting in it, but the movie itself was not good. Sorry, not good. If you liked it, you're kind of cat you like. Even the other day, I watched Punch Drunk Love, which, by the way, I thought it was gonna be so great. I remember seeing it the first time. I didn't like it. I

watched it again. It's so so art kip, Like there's this one shot where like p t A. Paul Thomas Anderson like zooms over like and like Widen's it and it's like a zoom over for no reason except to be like art, Like this is a different kind of movie.

And I just turned it and watching it, and I was like, you know p t. A. When he was going like now pull it out, pull the shot out, I knew he was just like fucking feverishly jerking and like splashing everyone around him with Steven because he's so excited that his shot was going to look like so different and artistic, and listen, I'm only making fun of what I am because I also get really proud of my self when I do something where I'm like, I'm an avant garde artist. So I okay, I'm cringing at

the thing that I know. The feeling where you think you're cool, never ever said I secretly. Listen. I went on stage at Stanford and Sons in Kansas with a cigarette for three minutes. For a three minutes, said I bring a cigarette. It's no it was killed. I wanted to look a bad ass and like where like I just wanted to look like smart and like, I don't know what's that one writer's Bukowski esque, Like I don't know what I was going for. It was so we've all been kild, but I'm not twenties or four. I

thought pink hair for a while. I'm dying to do something different. Lately, I've been pink hair, like a nose ring. Like I said, the other day, I cut my nose and it looked like there's a little dot there, and I'm like, I like it, And I noticed I don't have any good friends because it looks like I have chocolate on my face and no one said anything or I just have oh yeah, just a little chocolate. Um do you what? Do you guys ever want to do

anything drastic? Has there been any drastic? I almost cut bangs the other night after but I was so tired. It was after a long weekend. I came out when you're tired, I look at Matt and I've had a very I had a super emotional weekend. I didn't sleep at all. Friday night. I was NICKI I was staying with her. We like we're sleeping in the same bed, and I was just like, I'm hot, I'm cold, I'm hot, I'm cold. I was like dressed out, miserable, didn't sleep

at all, barely like. Then drove the next day and then we had this crazy show day and then I come home. I'm exhausted. I laid down next to men and I just looked at my goal. I'm gonna cut bangs. He's just closed last night. Um one, not tonight, and to not in this mood he goes not in this mental state. Yes, but today I trimmed them and I think I did a great job. So that's why Sienna, I think, yeah, that's a bang and then the hoop start cutting my hair. You cut your hair too, tailor right?

Do you just like is it something you learned to get good at over time? Like you funked it up enough and you've probably it has. I've done banks and it's horrible cause I'm like, I really think I can start cutting my own hair. I just need here's how you do it. N if you're gonna you can't do here's there And they're like they're like scissors like that you cut cardboard boxes. You gotta get good hair cutting scissors. But you just take the section you have. Okay, yeah,

they're in my bathroom. You can get them at CBS there like nine dollars. So you take in front of your hair. She has like about an inch of hair. You make sure not like I have right now. You make sure you only have the bang parts like from before that we're cut. So I was just trimming them and because my guy forgot then you go like this, you chop off like however much you want, and then you do this number where you like put them vertically and you have to do that, and it's it's it

works yeah, okay, all right. Well I try to make summer rolls last night, and I was also trying to julian the vegetables and cut them vertically with like cucumber and carrot, and they start just getting chopped. Do you know what I'm saying, You're trying to make and the um. Yeah, I want to do something drastic, not to my hair, because it's always a regret. I think my hair. I've

realized keeping it long equals fertility. I think you're thinking about fertility, and I'm like, oh, that's why I'm obsessed with long hair. What I think you should like full on bleach no way, bleached it before it's too much work. I bleached it um in two thousand fifteen, and it does not suit my skin tone. Bad idea. Glad I already know it because I would be on board. Your eyebrows gone No, if anything, I've been dark. Eyebrows are

too so lately, and that's been a fun thing. I think, Nikki, like on the weekends, I've been loving your stage outfits, and that to me feels like a big change. It's like almost like yes, like an alternate personality, but just like an onstage person This weekend, I went all out. I didn't know like the dress I ordered. I ordered like four from Revolve and I was going to return the rest, and that one, the one I chose, was the one I secretly wanted. But it was kind of

like too much. But it was too much, but I fucking loved it. Yeah, I like dressing up big time. It was a little lingerie. I would have preferred it to have straps and it to have a skirt on the bottom. That wasn't lingerie because it was already so lingerie. Was like, the skirt doesn't need to be laced to look like a victorious secret model, like an angel. It felt like angels. Yes, that's what it was. It was totally an angel's outfit, which I love and I mean

not not going for that look. But the top did not fit. It was like I have like kind of a longer stomach torso, so it was a little short, and so I when I was performing, I had to wear a braw on top of it. I wore a Walmart brau on top of this four hunderdollar dress. The dog could tell well and so I can tell in pictures and pictures. I was like, oh my god, my stylists are going to see this and be like, is

that got her? I mean like I feel like, yeah, it totally was just a backup emergency Brad to wear under a black T shirt like this is not this is a T shirt bra. This isn't like this should be poking out to be sexy bra. It was like it was only the only one I had and I had no other choice. And my mom is very like conservative when she's like, what are you gonna do? You cannot wear that with the nipples coming out, and I go with my nipples that will be funny, Like who can't?

She goes, Nikki, just wear it? I say, where the bra? Just wear it like that? So she was hilarious this weekend. By the way, Yeah, I'll tell you after all, I won't forget Crow. I was getting to that, but yeah, I was gonna say, like a support during this theory that you're the least kip person around except with your iPhone thing, which I also agree with about iPhones versus Andrew. I can't help that. I'm not not trying to hate people with green bubble iPhones. I's just my subconscious. Don't

my subconscious thinks you're poor? You, well, I well, I don't judge you for it because I know, like there's and and it's not my fault that poor equals. But that's like what society has taught me. I know it's wrong. I don't actually actively want to lean into it just happens. It's just it's it's there's no control in my brain when I see a green bubble and go poor, don't like them get about my life conscious. I don't think it's yeah, I mean honestly, yeah, I fight against it.

So yeah, don't follow me on that. But anyway, so go on, why am I not after party? Well? To to the cute stories about you, if I may. I'm just so proud of you, like cried ugly cried after the show, because you've got a standing ovation and it was like to be on the road with you for two years and to see that. I'm just kidding, You're just You're just like Matt. If I tell him, like, your hair looks great today, it's like, so every other day you hate my hair. No, no, no, no, no,

I don't expect stating inovations. I think they're actually like, I think they the reason I got one, and I let me just say it is because I did great. There's there's always but I could get one every time because I've told the listeners this before. You do a thing called coy ing, which is I came up with from watching Joe coy do it you at the end of your set. You have to have a good set. You can't have a bad set. You gotta end strong. You don't even have a good set, you gotta end strong.

And then when you say good night, you stay out there and you wave, and you wait there at the microphone like you're saying goodbye, and you wait, and eventually someone will be like, I like that so much, I want to stand up, and then everyone will fall suit and you'll get a standing ovation. It's the trick. You can do it. The reason I got one the other night, it's because my dad and I were out there and we stayed and also we ended on a song. It's much to get standing ovation from music than it is

like and it was my balls the whole time. You know, like it's just easier on a big fucking high note that everyone knows you're closing with the song. Everyone loves to be like thank you Cleveland, then to like end with a quip about molestation, and then you're like, yeah, you know, think so these are an interesting point, that might be a good point, but but that's why I've never I don't get that. I don't think it's bad that I haven't gotten. But I did get one the

other night yet. But like, regardless of that, it still was standing ovation worthy. It was an amazing song. You nailed it. You guys are great, so you can't use your shitty excuses for like, well it was amazing, but yeah, no it was. I'm not taking all the fact I am amazing and I did and it was. But there are their psychological tricks to standing ovations, and I don't think that people should take credit for them literally ever. Unless you literally say good night and everyone stands up

right away, that's a true one. But if it takes time, you know, but you still do good when you got you kind of you played with you know, give them two seconds. If there's an older crowd, they need to go. So you're anyway, you're like on the side stage, you finally come off, and you're like you sit down and you're taking off your super high heel boots and I'm like, I'm ugly crying. I can't even help it. I'm just like, oh, like in volunteary, like, oh my god. She's like, oh

my god, are you crying? I go, yeah, you got a standing ovation. She's like did I think they just wanted to stand up and go. I think they're leaving. Yeah, well that is true too. You can always like people. They were going to get up and collect their things eventually. And the other still playing the other non kid thing

was like, we had this fun after party. Your people had gotten you this great cake and we all ate cake in the in the backstage, and it was just like, it's so funny how wholesome you are, Like for being such a comic that's known for dirty stuff, you really just love your family hanging out with ends and that's it. Like you don't drink, you know what I mean, Like you'll you'll just you just want to have a good

homeye time. And then we all went to the hotel. Yeah, and we like all crammed like nine people into this little room with two beds, and it was so cute, like e J was talking to all the band boys about guitar stuff on one bed, and then all the girls were on the other bed me, Nicki, Hillary and Julie. Yeah over there. It was so fun. And then that's where my mom revealed that she wants a crow. You guys, I'm just so I knew I was annoyed right away when she not annoyed, but let me just I was

a little bit like, you want to crow? Because we've had I had birds kids. We had a pair of keet, we had a Django, we had another Kiwi, and then we had Django. Django flew the coop. Kiwi died um and my mom was not thrilled about either of those birds, and it was like a fight to get them. She was happy when not happy, but she was just kind of like, we're not getting another bir when they died.

And then suddenly she wants a crow and I go, she goes, I want to crow, and she's very serious and adamant about it, and I'm like why and she was like, they are the smartest birds. They're intelligent. Shiitnick, No, they are smart. And she's kind of laughing when she says it, but I go, really, that's why. And I go, what do you want to do with this crow? Like

what do you need it to do? Like sol solve like little I don't know problems, like you know when when you see crows intelligence, they're always like putting like you know, you know those like like wood carved things where it's like shapes and then they have to find the right shape to put the wood on, Like is that what you want to do with? Like what do

you need a smart crow around for? And then this is what I got to essentially, so she kept saying, because they're smart, nick, you and I go, parrots are smart, mom? What is a parrot not able to give you? That? A crow cut? And I go, who's gonna train? Those are trained crows that you're watching on these YouTube videos. Usually crows like don't like you. They're not domesticated, they haven't had a long lineage of dem stication. They're not

meant to be around people. And you she actively wanted one, come to find out. And I like the way they look, and I go, you want to crow? Because there you she likes. She goes, I have crossed all over my house and I go, I know you do. That's why you want to crow because of its looks. And you know, nothing lights my fire up more than like I like this animal because it looks this way, and I'm going to prefer it then this one who looks like all that way. You like THEO James, Yeah, but I don't

want it. If I in my life had a place for to love a man, okay, I wouldn't go THEO James or nothing. Let's say THEO James is my crow. If my mom is this analogy, I would go. Okay, even though that the thing I want isn't gonna look like, I will settle for something else that will give me just as much, because THEO James is not really a good match for me, because it's gonna peck at some

because I'm not domesticated. So I might give if I actually, if I think my mom has enough love in her life to give an animal and like wants to get a pet, but it has to be crow, then that bog that bugs me because just give that love to something else just because of its look, she wouldn't love like obviously you have a piece of your heart you get to like you could you have the time that you can commit to an animal, give it to something

that maybe doesn't look like a crow. But if you want, like, I don't know, I feel the same way about adoption, Like if you can't have your own kid, then go then adopt. Clearly you have love in your heart for a kid, just because it's not going to look the way you wanted to, maybe try this other thing, because you clearly have something to give the world. Why not. So that's what made me mad is that my mom, like it's always hated birds, but now she wants a

crow because the way it looks. And that's what bugs me about people who get designer dogs and stuff like that, Like I did not like the way Marian looked, or when I got sent pictures of them the first time when I had a dog in my mind of what dog I wanted, it did not look like either of those dogs didn't look to tell you, I don't even remember at the time, it looked. It looked uglier than Mary, like it was dark. There was like one I'll show you. It's just that I I fell in love this, this

one dog that ended up losing. So I kind of had my like locked around this like a little Chihuahua that looked exactly like littler than Luigi, little thinner, a little bit more needy, not as like scriggly, like I didn't want a white dog. I don't want to want anything that we resembled a terrier like. I had an aesthetic in mind, like everyone does. But then I signed up to be a foster so that I wouldn't have

to commit to a dog I didn't want. And guess what, I those dogs are so much better looking than any other fucking dog I could ever imagine for myself. I literally think everyone else's dog is gross and mine are perfect. And they're not perfect, they're just mine and I love them, and if they were someone else's, I'd be like, they're not as good as mine. So it's just I. You can love anything if if you have enough love in your heart to consider getting something, let the looks thing

go unless you have to fuck it. If you have to fuck your dog, the fucking your dog and being sexually attracted to it is like a part of having one, then yes, maybe that you should get one that you need to be attracted to, much like in a relationship like I don't want. I'm not telling people just get involved with someone who you are disgusted by just because you need a partner. But actually, maybe I don't know. Does this make sense? Your mom I'll take a rate.

She goes, I want to crow. I want to crow or a raven. I don't know the difference. She doesn't know the difference. I go, you need to do some more research before you got to crow. There, let's lean intoor a stupidity. Um, no that no one knows this. By the way, come up with a group of people before talking about this. And if we don't know what, we're not stupid? What do you mean? What do you know?

I think they're different. I've looked it up before. Ravens are bigger and more gothic, go like screech screw shadow, no shadows. They're like they're smaller, right, Oh, I thought they were bigger. Forget it, No, I just made that up. I literally even hang out on like gargoyles and crows are just cornfield exactly what they do before. Gargoyles though, like ravens around before the crows like peck the eyes

of um scarecrows and raven saying on gargoyles. But if you just so okay out of context, if it was just a picture of one on a blank sheet of paper with no gargoyle or no scarecrows, you'd see they're looking its eye. You have a blood red eye. Much on the Ravens. Yeah, it's gopic because if you will, oh, if you're a goth, would you rather be named Raven or crow? Raven because it's actually I would crow because

the crow is like the quintessential movie crow. Yeah, so we died on the crow, much like Raven is so much more cat though, like Ravens are in a higher just some one to say Raven. Sorry, actually that's so raven. Raven's a cool name. No, the bird, I'm saying the bird. They're bird. Yeahs are crows are blue collars, are like blue collar because they have to wear the little collar because they're like someone's pion pet. They are cool. My

mom is not wrong. Okay, we gotta go to break and we're not only going to discuss ravens and crows and really not come to any kind of conclusion about what they are. Oh my god, hold up a picture of Luigi looking so handsome, so much like video James. Noah has been watching the Luigi and Marian I can't get into details why, but she watched them over the weekend when my parents were in New York and pictures

of yeah, of them in these pictures. I can't get over Noah, he's so good a rapper here, or like Timothy Shallow he's he's skating on a skate. Have Luigi pictures on our instagram so you can really get all juice stuff. Yeah, we should do a calendar. He is he has no idea. That's the thing I love about so hot, he's humble. I feel like oil on. We got to go to break. Okay, we'll talk lots about when we get back. All right, we're back, and um

it's it's the Nicki Glazer Podcast. And let's play a game that we haven't played a little a little bit on here called Top one Bottom one. Today's category is ranks anything besides coffee. And can I make another addendum to this addended up? So I feel like all of us love Seltzer. How about no Seltzer allowed. Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, I'm into this. No Seltzer. It can have a Seltzer base if it's like a mocktail, but not just a clear Seltzer like brand. We can't no water lose, no locroise.

No Zevia is unfortunately, um where can I do Zevia yes, of course, no you can't. Well it's a sema is it? A Seltzer has Seltzer in it? Like everything soda has selts in it. We just kiss plain Seltzer, plain Seltzer. Got it? Okay, it wasn't gonna talks anyway. I've been worrying. Okay, let's start with um the worst top bottom? Do you have your worst drink? Taylor? Uh? CoA cola disgusting? Wait? Pepsi, pepsi? Oh wait, cola cola? Just cola? R C. Wait? What

about Dr Pepper? That's not coola is it? I don't know. Do you hate? No? Okay, so then it's not cola soda? Soda? Is that too broad? Cola? Like the flavor? Cola is disgusting? Why I don't. I haven't had it since I was a kid. One time, I remember I kissed a boy and he tasted like cola and it was dis so like dumped. But you think if like Dr Pepper, do you think you'd like it? Or do you count that as no? I loved it when I was a kid. What about now? What about diet diet pepper? Diet cola?

I wouldn't drink diet Okay, this is an interesting one. I don't even know. I want to think about it because I don't know what about it? What about you know? What about um? Orange soda? Like any I don't drink any soda? This sucks. I'm bad at this. No, they're not bad at it. But why don't you drink any soda? I don't It's too much sugar. I don't like sugar. You don't like you don't like sweet stuff. I think I know that about you, but I forgot it. No,

I relearned it all right. Um your worst one is cola. It's the grossest thing I can think of. Um My would have to be eggnog because it's both of the milk and which are the two of the grossest things I can think of. Is just and it just or a plain glass of milk, anything like that. But to really make it it would be like drinking. I hate deviled eggs. That's my number one. We're food favorite food? Where did from? Um? Eggnog? For me? Is gonna talk

like it? Just? I think I would really have a gag reflect on that, and I don't have that usually for even blow jobs. It's kind of like the aftermath of a blowjob, really creamy, creamy. I think it is good. I just have never had it because it sounds it looks like plain milk, a little tint to it, and it looked and has a word egg and it's very sweet. Oh it is you can make it. I made it for Christmas? What it does it taste like any Does it taste like cake batter or something like it? Or

does it taste eggs? Like it's like a melted froyo? It doesn't, but it doesn't taste eggy? What? Really? Yeah, it's it's it's raw eggs. So I don't know. Why would I don't tell me that to get into it because everyone always like no. But before I was vegan, everyone's like eggnog. It's like but it has the word egg in it. Why would anyone want to drink something with egg? So it doesn't taste like eggs? Have you tried egg? I'm seriously blown away. I missed out on

eggnog and it tastes like cake batter. It's really freaking it's sweet. I thought it was just like I thought, literally it was like drinking egg yolks and like you know, like Sylvester Stallone, like drinking like eggs with a little milk in it. Why would you keep telling children about egg Why wouldn't you say it's called eggnog, but it tastes nothing like eggs because eggs are grossed to drink, because they would just have a sip and no dream and egg cream. It doesn't even have eggs in it.

What isn't an egg cream just like a soda drink with some You've never had an egg cream like your grandpa probably drank egg creams. And egg cream is a cold beverage consisting of milk, carbonated water, and flavored syrup. No eggs, no egg Okay, well this is eggs. Need to understand that if you put your name in something else, but you're not going to drink it and you're they're not going to know that there's nothing there's no egg

in it. Wait till you try vegan eggnog. When because I was thinking I would love a vegan eggnog, but I don't want it to taste like egg I don't want to be reminded of egg flavor in a beverage. It's really good, it's just like it's like nutmeg. Now my mouth is watering because I'm thinking of drinking like liquefied cake battery, and I'm like, I'm gonna make it for you. It's still winter, it's allowed. Your socks are doing that. You don't r together. That's Eggno, okay, no,

I like I have a cramp, it's n It's okay. No. What is your least favorite? My least favorite beverage has to be cama meal tema meal. T Why because when you were kids, after we would have stomach aches and throw up, our parents would force us to drink camemeal. So now every time I taste it or smell it, I get that like soreness in the back of my throat, you know, from like the bile. It just and it's just instant. I don't I don't even know what tastes like.

I mean, that makes total sense that that, Yeah, if we're not going alcoholic drinks, because like yeager for me even saying the word, I start to yak up because I've had Yeah, okay, so we all have that, so we're not including those on this. Yeah, that's a really good one because it's just such a you know, response to like trauma that you know, you know you were going through and can you camalty to me? Reminds me taste like, um, this restaurant, what does it taste like?

It tastes like I want to feel like cool right now, and everyone else at the table's ordering tea, so I will too, And the only one they have that isn't caffeinated is camemeal. That's what That's what came meal tastes like, is that I've had a cozy restaurant with my friends, trying to see like someone who just like likes tea,

even though I want to chug eighteen night cokes. And it tastes like disappointment, flower disappointment, And it tastes like I'm starving and I want to eat in this fucking stupid restaurant takes too long and everyone's like, what are you going to have? And no one can decide on what they want, and everyone is waiting to order what you want before they get to their order. It tastes like waiting for people to decide what they want to eat and then also picking at their appetizer and we're

not gonna get the entrees until the appetizer. And I actually ordered a bunch of appetizers for my entree so my appetizers are sitting in front of me, and I'm waiting for everyone else to get their entrees because I don't like to eat before people, because then when you eat, I just end up getting jealous because I'm still hungry because I never there's never enough food. And that's what cam a meal tea tastes like to me. Just order you know what you want. You've been to a time

restaurant before. Okay, this doesn't work for time because the Comedy Cellar, Yes, just know what you want faster and also eat like faster. Everyone please, that did um least favorite drink? There were so many that I had, but I'm going to settle on comput. It's a Russian drink, which is just like Taylor knows you did combot. I think it's compote in English, but it's comput and it's just they take fruit, old fruit, just cut it up.

This is how my mom does it. Just old fruit that's rotting in your house, cut it up as like it's turning pears, apples, plums, and then put it in a big thing and pour water over it. That's it, and just put it in the fridge so it's not even sweeten. It's just like jelly. So it's like it's a drink. It's a drink with your food in the bottom. I mean it comes from really tough times when things weren't going well and we had rotted fruit and that's all you could afford. I mean it sounds like a

drink based on yeah, tough times. Um, you know, poor drink, Maria. It's like it's like the green text bubbles of drinks. I was always like, you know, she'd pour it from me and be like, but why is there no sugar in here? No, honey, it just tastes like it's almost it's either almost rotten and horrible or so far from being good. There are so many drinks and rest of the drifts, does it taste like a rottt spin drift is like not enough fruit in it? Yes, you're drinking

one right now, listen. I like them, but they're always leave me like it's not enough. It's like it's just a soda, being like you don't get to drink actual fruit. Yes, you know that you don't deserve five grams of sugar. You get a half of one per can and you should be happy with that. Fatty like spin drifts are always just like you're you don't you're not enough. Um, okay, come put, come come posts. Okay, too close to compost, which is which is pretty much yea like a compost.

Oh you know what kombucha is In Russia, they take bread and water and then they just let it ferment, which is basically or mushrooms, and let that ferment grows on it. K v A s class. I'm going to make vast and it's just not This is all Russian word I learned that means like disgusting, right, yes, exactly. Um, all right, let's get to the top, because my stomach is turning to turn. Speaking of things turning, the fruit turns, my stomach turns talking about gross drinks. Now, let's get

to the great beverages. What's your favorite beverage? Yes? Um, I like a Bally yogurt soda mint flavor, a Bali yogurt soda mint my bottom. It's really it's saltzer and yogurt kind of like it's bubbly yogurt with mint flavor. It's so good. Wait where did you yesterday? Where do you find it? I got it into Global Foods. But it's like um, it's Middle Eastern. How did you originally discover it? At the Living in San Francisco? Just like at a corner store? Really you took a chance on that?

About like fifty things of pickles yesterday, I don't know what the hell they were Russian, I've been on a pickle. But sometimes you're just in the not pickled beverage. Though my mom would be pick just pickles right now, you would, she'd be so into this, Yeah, that was on my list. And third, so you like to try different things like rather than just stick to what you know, You'll you'll be like, oh, this is an interesting new beverage. Yeah, yeah, I love BEVs as long as doesn't have sugar. So

this doesn't have any sugar in it. Maybe it's a little bit in the yogurt, but yeah too, Okay, I'll well, there's not vegan ones. There might be maybe okay, Um, I've never heard of that. Good to know. My favorite it recently and this is just for recently, has been Nacho Mama's Medium Salsa. A pint of it I've been drinking my my my mouth is watering right now here. Parents when we were kids and I would drink that brown one. It's the medium whatever one it is. I

actually got the mild one. It wasn't as good. But I want to go see my kids sisters kids gymnastics class, and it's right by Nacho Mamas, which is my favorite Mexican place in St. Louis. And the salsa is not chunky, it's like so fine, and it's like you really can't sip on this cup like I sip in the cup at the gymnastics class. It's like it's gaspacho. It's so good my throat. I'm I'm so wet right now. I can't even take it. It's so much right now. I

want to go later. Actually, I think I might have to go drive back and pick up my trays from my Arthurdonis that I forgot there this morning, so I might go back and get some. But I go, they go, do you want chips with that? And I'm like, no, I don't need chips. I'm drinking. I drank two pints of it the other day. I didn't like it's salty. What did it do intestinal track? Nothing? It was great. It was a festa up in there. I loved it.

I feel like last time I did that. And sometimes when I drink too much salt, my eyes get all puffy, and I'm like, sure they did. I probably looked crazy for You're right, I probably it was probably so much salt. I don't even know what they put in it. Oh it's not like fresh blended. Oh it's fresh, but who knows what they They probably had sugar to I mean it is so good. All right. What's your favorite beverage? Uh? Noah? Okay,

So this is like a new thing that I discovered. Um, I don't like milk in my drinks, and I have not had any success with boba tea. However, there's a place here in town called DNK Tea. It's a Taiwanese teahouse and they have this like kum quat lemonade, and they have these like popping bobo balls that are like passion fruit flavor, and the combination of the two is just like heaven. Oh my god, I want to try to sit what so, what is the base of the

milk or whatever? So the base I could choose something that's not tea, which is they have like all these different options of like lemonade, and this one is cum quat lemonade. Kum quat lemonade plus the passion fruit boba. Yeah, it's like these. Yeah, it's kind of like gushers because the boba balls like when they pop, you get this like little when I used to have when I was in Thailand, we got some boba, but it was the I like the milky version. That's um okay, there's no

milk in it those. So it's like cleared lemonade, and they customize it. You can choose like how sweet you want and how much ice? Oh how often did you get one every day? No? That that would not be good? Is it like so much sugar? You think? Oh, it's actually because I get like zero percent sugar in it, like in the drink. Why is it? Wouldn't it be good to get it every day because I have to like like drive out there. Oh yeah, see, this would be really plastic. I would drive, I walk five, I

would literally do anything for anything. I love that much. I would get it every day. Especially it was like not that bad for me. Um, No, that's good that you have we get on the weekends. I love. I was Nikki, Like my thought was like why would you get it day? Why wouldn't you move closer to that location. Would I disguise it so you could go there twice and whip get to accounts so that you can pre order it with different names. You get a burner phone, so why would you find out if they're on uber

eats and post made at the same time. Why don't you person there restraining order? Can you men getting frustraining room for fucking boba? Like I almost I went to a massage place today that for the second time in a week, and I requested the girl that I love Linda. She wasn't as good today, but like I was, as I was getting when, I was like, can I come back tonight? Like Linda will still be here because I

know she's playing an indenture of time. Yeah, but I'd rather her work on me someone else who might be like mean to her. And I tip really well, so I might as well go back. But I also don't want them to like get it. I think I'm like crazy morning. It's just my is so horny for just like getting Dug getting some some action. Final thought, I don't want to hear my favorite? What is your favorite? Yeah? That mine is so boring, but I like it. We're allowed to have food in ours like yours is a food.

Noah's is a food as long as you're guzzling and gulping it, and like you could if you can shoot food. It's that's what I like. It's like a little bit dangerous, like I'm living on the edge. And I did end choking on one over the weekend to try. I never had a bote in my life. Okay, I've been really because it's winter. I've been into these hot um lemon ginger teas and I chop up fresh ginger and then I put honey in it and a half of stevia and piping hot and it's so delicious. I also love

a mocktail. It's tied with if I go out um to a bar, I like a ginger, very gingery mock tail with a lot of citrus. And they're not too sweet but kind of so good. The one you had in New York at that place we went to the last night on the Yes, that was delicious. I love when they give you a little If any mixologists are listening, when you give us those little ginger candies on a toothpick, that is everything to me. I will come back time and time again. I will come three times in one night.

I should just buy some ginger candies. I do. I have them. Sometimes it's just not the same because I served them. Yeah, yeah, it's so fine in a bar to have like a little candy to chew on. I I got them. Just give a little courtesy shout out to diet Coke because it was going to top my thing.

I used to hate diet coke so much. They used to because my mom would drink them in the nineties, eighties, nineties, and I would sometimes drink from it and I'd be like, it gives me a headache, Like my body definitely tasted like there's something toxic in this. And I hated it. And then you know, you get to be a woman of an age, and then you get marketed to that you're fat, and then you start going, well, diet cokes the only thing I can drink. I would be bad

to do anything else. So then you start drinking it and you kind of go, oh, I like it, and then you get addicted to it because it's so fucking addictive. Um, and then I quit diet coke from two thousand. I remember the last time I had it was that stand up New York on seventy eighth and Broadway, going to say the seventh of September, and it was probably two thousand on and I were living together two thousand ten or something. So I went like ten years without having

diet coke, maybe more or any diet soda. And then Andrew and I got back into it in I think like one. I think we're on f boy one and it started just like one a day. Like, I fucking love diet coke. It is a treat that I enjoy. I have no shame about it anymore. I know it is bad for me. I do not have like like I think the former President of the United States, Donald Trump had like twelve a day or something that's excessive. Yeah, oh he he just loves Why are you shocked? I

know it love diet coke. Yeah, and adderall allegedly, but like, let's come on, like obviously, um and uh, but I love diet coke. I love, but I don't want it in a can. I wanted it a bottle, plastic bottle. Sorry environment, Sorry world, We're already it's nothing to do. Um. And I just love it so much. And I for all my diet cokeheads out there, like you've done nothing wrong. It feels you feel like you should be drinking. I have a paper bag. Sometimes you're anything, huh, paired with

anything food? Um, I would say, like low level depression. It's best with It's like when you're just starting to hover on, like I think I might be eating really sad get a diet coke. The caffeine will jolt you out of it, but it's like a treat in your mouth. Um. Paired with anything, No, Honestly, I just I like one on its own. It's so attached to like I don't want to eat right now for me that like, I

don't like it. I don't need to eat anything with it, even though I would because I don't not eat when I'm hungry, but like it just it's something that I want when I'm like I'm not hungry, but I'm also like, I don't want a coffee. It's just the best. I just love it, and I hope that I never reach a place where I need to give it up again. Iphonder what wonder what happened last time? I think I was just drinking too many of them, and I probably read some study that they ate you or something which

they totally do. Yeah, they're bad for you, but I did hit a rock bottom. Oh my neck is cracking. Oh there's one really good like muscle that if I turn a certain way, it like really pinches. I love it. I love cracking lack and I don't like cracking. But when people crack crack no, no, no, uh kind of satisfying. Oh my god? Are you so? Do you like? Do you get? Um? Don't do it? But the worst crackage ever was what people in school would pull their faces. No, no, no, no,

I like no stop that right stop. It could never go back on, it could stay I could never go back, it could stay out. You'll never come back. I can only do it on three on each chance. Um. Alright, guys, we're gonna finish up the show. Any final thoughts, UM

to say. I'm going to l A this week. I'm doing I don't know, I'm getting some injections in my face why because I'm doing a partnership coming up that I'm going to get some little I need a little something anyway, just a little bit and then um, and then I'm filming a pilot and um, and then I'm in Florida this weekend, Tampa and Orlando, two shows each. I believe tickets still available. Come on out. I'm going to be so excited to be in Florida because it's

cold as fuck. We should bring our bathing you guys, I would love to put on a bathing suit. I'm fucking feeling. I gained weight recently and I like it. I want it. I like feeling. Um. I like feeling juicy, like I either feel really skinny or I feel like in between, like like thick. I like feeling thick when I'm like, oh, I gotta fucking ass. I don't like that in between stage, which is like that's where I feel like comfortable right now, I feel like I'm committed

to juice. And I'm gonna record this and play it for you in two we No, because I know and I believe me. When I hate my body, I know that I've said that I like it before about the same body. No, I think that is true. Podcast what you go. I'm going to record this for you later, like podcast. Literally, I'm just gonna podcast. Um No, I know when I feel bad about everybody, I know what I've said good about it before. I know I'm in a delusional tunnel playing audio of me liking it at

one point will not help me. I guarantee you it will make me shut down and even go deeper. So please do not play this back. But right now I'm feeling my soup. I'm feeling this out um and we're gonna have a show tomorrow, so we'll see you then. Thank you so much for listening to be Kit and Ye