#310 Bear Noises w/ Ben Gleib

I'm doing the Kelly Clarkson Show tomorrow. Check that out on Wednesday. I believe it will air on Wednesday as well. Um. And I'm joined by, of course, on your Marina who you just heard her song. She will be on the road with me this weekend in Kalamazoo and Juliet, Illinois. Hey Anya ba bat Noah is also here. Hey no uh hi beb happy be and then joining us. I'm going to get this intro right. He is a stand up comedian called by TBS one of the funniest comedians

working today. He's the host of the game show Idiot Test on Game Show Network and streaming on Game Show Central. He was one of the stars of Chelsea Lately, and he's currently a lead anchor and contributor for The Young Turks. His critically acclaimed second hour special titled Ben Glebe The Mad King just dropped on YouTube. Kelly Carlin, daughter of George Carlin, tweeted from the official George Carlin Twitter account, I think you'll like this special by Ben Glebe. It

reminds me of elements of my dad's approach. Please welcome Ben Glebe. I love that intro bat Well, thank you so much. You made it up off top of your head, so you gotta think it's from my heart. Really um and uh no, I was so impressed that you sent a whole like email of you're just so organized, and it like intimidates. It doesn't intimidate me, I'm meant to say, infuriates me minutes ago. So it's not like I'm super organized. That's a good point. Okay, that really does you know?

It loses some of its luster with the fact that you did send it, um almost late, But it's the fact that you're so organized that you're so um. Like, yesterday, I did a podcast Chelsea Alvarez's podcast, UM Celebrity Memoir Book Club. I forget that's the name of it. Anyway, it's on my story if you want to check it out, but it's we cover the Harry Um Prince Harry book.

And because I don't I was about to say his last name, and I realized I don't know what Harry windsor is that it don't what is his last name, Harry Sussex. I don't know Harry and um, well anyway, they were like, UM, can you send us a picture that we can use for the promo? And I was like, I don't have one. I don't have I don't know what picture I would I don't have press pictures. I was going through my phone for like twenty minutes trying to find it. I was like, do I use a

stand up picture? No, this doesn't fit it. What's a picture that says I've read a look once? Like I needed like a not like a set. There were like sexy photos and like that's not book photo. Like I just don't have like a press kit. I think a k press kit a photo of you reading a book would be very perfect. Yeah, that's good. It's like a big foot photo because it's not gonna so I read on my phone, So a picture of me looking at

my phone might suffice. I know, I've seen Nikki Glazer photo behind some Morby Parkers, just like peering out sexily with your bob. Maybe it was during Nicky answer Alive days We're wear haircut, fixed my relationship or whatever was happening at the time. God, I don't know why I did that. Bleached my hair cut it real short. It was definitely like inner struggle. Well, of course you've got it going on, Girly. The other day you were like, I want to chop my hair off, Yeah, because I'm

unwell inside. The other day I was feeling good, you were relationship and you and your partner was like, look, things are great if just only your hair was shorter and Bobby, no guy has ever wanted their girlfriend to get shorter hair in the history of heterosexual ben ever. Ever, we trick ourselves into thinking bangs or a shaved dad will help, or like a pixie cut will be good. It's just what is that desire to just change things up? Ben, You look like you have a different look going right now.

It's a cleaner cut. That did you just get a haircut. I got a haircut very recently, and I got rid of my beard that I usually grow. It's now just getting back. Is it true that beards are a sign of depression and or big transition in men's lives? Like either what happened? We have evidence to support that. Right now, Ben, how are you feeling today? Um? Given your recent life change,

you were engaged, now you're not. Can we say that that was part of your total That was the biggest part of my intro known mostly from his random n engagement that happened to announce on Instagram, which is, you know when you announced it on Instagram? I thought, because I already knew about it, and it maybe been a month after it had happened that you announced it, maybe a little bit more. Is that right? Yes, you gotta

announced it. I realized. I go, maybe he didn't need to do that, And I go, no, he does, because people who know him know he was with her. If somehow he's behaving in a certain way like a single guy on his stories or in other posts, girls are gonna start people are gonna start going, this fucking asshole,

what's he doing? So people roll their eyes when people announced like, we've decided to separate, and but you you shouldn't roll your eyes because I at first was like, no one needs to know, but then I go, yes, they do, because you suddenly are going to not have her in pictures and people are gonna start speculating. So you kind of just gotta get it out of the way. What what was your like this thought process leading up

to that announcement. Yeah, I mean it was like, actually that it's that, you know, obviously there's gonna be thousands of videos of women throwing themselves at me now, and I needed cover for that, for people to think I'm realized, I'm not a dirt bag that was letting that happen just because my fiance cut her hair short or something, you know, So I had to announce that. Plus, yeah, I just I also don't like to try to be honest.

I can about my life and I don't even I didn't really want to like to archive the engagement posts that we had had a few months earlier. It's an important part of my life that, you know, you can't change your past. I didn't want to like hide it. Plus, you know, so I wanted to instead just update people and they can go and see the whole, the whole, the whole messed up story. You know, it's really brave. I asked a question about that because I have a weird um thing that I would love to get rid of.

It's a like I'm afraid of, like people pitying me or I hate it. I don't know if I'm afraid of it. I don't like pity, condescension. I don't like comments on Instagram like the chin up Girl or like anything resembling pity. I hate it. So I would be afraid if I was in that position that i'd get comments like pitying or do you do you have that at all? Or what were that some of the most uncomfortable comments or feedback you've gotten, either online or off,

or do you not have any? No? I definitely got the full range of comments. I just don't really care. I mean, I get so much hate, you know, typically, and you get so much like disgusting things and videos I do. In the young Turks, I'll get death threats, and I'll get people, you know, saying the worst things

in the world to me. So I didn't mind a little bit of pity because it has actually made me feel like there's some good people out there, some people being like stick with it fine, like oh wow, there's someone that doesn't want me to die or think I'm an asshole. So I thought that was fine and not that I was looking for pity, but I didn't mind

kind comments coming from people. Maybe it's different from men, Like I feel like men are fine with pity, but if a woman's like ditched or or they assume that she's been rejected, it's like a real I don't know, it's definitely have that same thing. I kind of like pity as well. I like when someone feels like sorry for me, because I you know, I think I struggle with feeling sorry for myself and I never like let that in or if I do, I feel too indulgent

and go, look at your life. You shouldn't feel so to have someone else kind of go, no, this is this sucks. I would hate to be where where you are. It doesn't bother me that much. I wonder what that is in you that doesn't like peoples like you don't know anything about what's going on with me, Like people project so much onto me, and then I don't like

other people reading that. And obviously It's like, who cares what other people think of you or what other people think of what other people think of you, None of it really matters, but it does matter, probably to my ego that you know, Like if somebody were to write, oh, that sucks some loser like you know, cheated on and let's say they don't know the story of why I broke up with someone, I would hate that. I would want to be like, correction, this is actually what happened.

Don't project your weird ideas onto me or I don't know. I just don't like people knowing too much about my life or project What if they just wrote something I'm so sorry that you're going through that, like something more vague, I mean, just getting specific, like that fucking bitch cheated on you. I don't know you, poor thing, No one will ever love you again. People write stuff like that. People write stuff like that. Yeah, I got some on both sides. People said I did, people said she did right.

People like to well obviously projection, people wanting um things that have happened in their own relationships to happen in others so they don't feel so alone. But like, was there a part of you that was waiting to post that because you thought maybe it'll turn around. And then was that kind of like the final nail in the coffin for you of like, Okay, I'm really letting this one go, Like I'm burying this by anouncing it. Yeah, I mean to speak a thousand percent honestly, That's why

I waited a month. You're right. But then also part of me and posting it thought that maybe posting it would make would be like the last chance you would see that and then be like what have I done? And like running in the rain to my door and and say I've made a terrible mistake it God, is there? Is it getting easier, um like emotionally or is it still coming in like waves of just like sat like is it do you feel it letting up a little bit?

It is? It is getting easier, um But it still does come in waves that said, you know, like I just messaged you after like a month of silence like a I don't know a week ago and said like I'm still a mess. I don't know what's happening. And every time I put like when I go out, you know, I'm I'm trying to date again. And when I go on dates um have a great time, or from focused on work or from specifically watching something on TV or

what ever. I'm fine, but still like pretty much most of the time, whenever I have a moment to think, I get a little messed up by it. You know, it's it's just it's just still so weird. It's still so like shocking and just like stunning that somebody I thought I was going to spend my life with I don't talk to anymore and can't really talk to And

that's very weird. Is that everything to nothing and there's between like we'll just hang out and because it doesn't And that's what that's the really risk that you take in starting a relationship with anyone is like there's a really good chance we're gonna hate each other at the end of this. I mean really good chance. I mean,

how often no one ever thinks that. You never talk about that up top, You never think that you think for sure you're gonna stay together forever or it'll just be perfect ending and happy, and like, I just don't get that. Like one of the last text I center was like I think Gwyneth Paltrow's conscious uncoupling phrase is pretty lame, but I think the idea is right on. It's like, why do you have to make it hard? We can just make it easy on ourselves. We can be friends. We can And then I got a solid

no response to that. So and I'm pretty sure I'm blocked now in tech because it turned green instead of or she got an Android and that she's really changed. She would much rather block me than ever have an Android. So the other day, how android's like you just see green text pop up and you just kind of go, there's a judgment that you can't help and it's based on capitalism and consumerism and just the most shallow thing. But I can't help it. It doesn't matter that I know.

It doesn't that I know Matt Anya's fiance has an Android, and I know he's a great guy and he's not a bad person or like less person, but he has bubbles Like it's just any They shouldn't be allowing any group text. They mess up group texts, yeah, they do. It is very kid though, that Apple has made people care because it's so to be like, oh my god, you don't have an iPhone, you're lame. That is the most care I know. But like we do it for cars and apart like apartments parts of town people live in.

I mean, it's not like that absurd that we've you know, I don't think if you had a fiance you would be as that has a green phone, that you would be as great about this. Uh you know has a green phone and that also infuriates green green bubbles. It's a little ridiculous, like like I understand, we don't want to be boogie about it, but at the same time, it's it's like gathering with your close friends about to be on a road trip and your buddy with the

roll down manual, roll down windows. It's like I'll drive, No you're not. You're not driving. Appreciate that's how you get around, but don't involve me in this. And it doesn't. I don't know that it slows down any communication, but it does kind of because they have to be like in a building that has good white or like WiFi signal to like they have to get I don't know, I don't rely on bars a lot of times, like

for my WiFi signal or like for to text. You have to you can't reply directly to a text from you if you want to laugh at something they said, or like herded it's like Nikki hearted and then it like quotes it it's awful. It's Nikki finds that to be very amusing. That's not the same as it's not the same as an exclamation mark, like Nikki responded shocked

at like it's like, no, that's too much. The reason we have those little dots is so that there's not an extra text that comes down that it is inherently the problem with the green texts that you can't do those easy little replies. Um, I also feel like, um, have you ever had like Sirie tell you what someone's a mode gis? Like responded with heart uh, like with red cheeks and hearts coming over like a smiley face with hearts coming out of its eyes. So you're like

it describes it. You're just like God, are used to do this thing with my friend where we figured out a way that Syria would read like you would say like call Dina, like I have a friend Dina, and then we have put all these emojis after and Syria would read them out, but it would be like called Dina angel baby face, medium skin tone. I would say the whole thing like little angel baby medium skin tone egg bland, star water, squart, and your friends happened to

be yellow? Why are you discriminatory? Oh my god. Have you ever dealt with someone who is a white person that sends darker color like skin color emo, like with more melanin. That is so weird to me. And it's usually a friend that's not being ironic like I'm sending a black person. I'm clearly they like think or they're or no, they're usually not woke. They're being like they're they're almost like anti woke, and so they're making fun

of it. That's what I meant to say. It's so I kind of go, this is worse than if you had an Android phone, Like get out of here with that. I'll sometimes get a black fist from a white Yeah it's a black fist EMOJIU like this, Yeah he thinks he's black. He thinks he's black and woke. Oh god, what so, Ben? What are some changes that you've done? Like what what? What are some the coping mechanisms you've gone through the breakup with, Like if you change your hair?

Have you what if you started going out like throwing yourself into things late nights, like partying a little bit more. I've noticed, I mean, like all of these things, uh as your drug use increasing, Like what people always write to me and they go, do you have anything about breakups? Like I always send them like you know podcast I've

listened to when I go through breakups. I kind of want to talk about breakups in this if you don't mind to, like so people can commenceerate because literally everyone, it's the most you know, relatable thing we've all been through and you're in it. I am so. I mean, I've done a lot. I'm definitely drinking more. That's been challenging on my training to lose weight. But I've started with a personal trainer, so I'm working out three times

a week. That's kind of good trying to drinking with your personal I started getting drunk with a personal trainer, eating fatty foods and not moving. You know, we are working out and you watch him train other people where you sit in the corner. Okay, three times a week, that's pretty good. I mean that keeps you going. You could really only see him once and then just repeat what he told taught you. But no one does that yell at us. It's a female, by the way, but

her assumed, don't even come on. Of course it's a woman. He's got to bounce back. I gotta bounce back. Look, not that I have any ill will whatsoever towards my ex. You know, I'm not even looking at her social media, and there's nothing to doing. Has something to do with the fact that I'm blocked. And but like from what I hear in the grape vine, I wish you the best. Here she's doing a lot of black face. Now I hear she's, you know, doing a lot of anti Semitic stuff,

and she's Jewish, so I don't even understand that. But I wish her the best. Here she's doing great. No, no, that is true. No, but I'm but I'm doing I'm doing that. I was earlier on I was writing some poetry that was just kind of like pouring out of me. Oh my god, yes, you shared some of it with me. It was so sweet, and Ben made me read it. I'd be like, oh, that was great, and then he goes, it's not done. There's yeah. I'm like, I'm like, the

only eighteen more poems in front of my heart. But I was staying at and he's like, just wait, just there's I think there's a little bit more, and I'm like you, I feel like I've been back at school again and you're like finished the entire thing. But it was really good and it was so sweet and like emotional and like such a good way I feel like to process your feelings. And we also were listening to um We're just like singing in the car on the way when you gave me that ride to Santa Monica,

and I heard the song the other night. Actually, you probably think that you will bet him now, Bet hm now and Bet and I were like screaming and it felt so cathartic. Have you been doing any singing karaoke? Like has that helped you? Because you have a whole set about your place. I do have a karaoke studio. I've been doing a lot of solo karaoke. I will broadcast it on Instagram live sometimes to eighteen people. So the career is going well. I have relate to that.

I've done the same thing, yes, and I've been doing a lot of that. That Better Now a song by post Malone was killing me. I've finally stopped listening to my breakup playlist like two weeks ago because it's been like two and a half three months since the breakup. But I have to say also, just like leaning on my friends, I've had friends checking out on me and Nick.

Just so your listeners can hear this, you might want me to say it, but you've been so lovely and kind to me during this breakup and like you really

helped make it a lot easier on me. You've been in a falling off recently, but like I get text from you and like, because you have a your nocturnal and so I'll get text from you or d M usually in the middle of the night, and um, and I could tell you're going through a hard time or you're like and then I check in on you on Instagram and I see always having a fun time, always kind of like he's getting out about town, he's dating. Like I can tell you're like trying to fill the void.

But I know that it's tough, and I know that you have a waste to go because it's you know, you were engaged, you were in how long were you guys together? Years and years, four and a half years. You have basically half a decade of life, you know, I know, and in an important decade of like like one like almost dare say our prime and you just go do you feel it was wasted? Do you do

you look back? But as somebody was freezing their eggs, I'm really like very cognizant of what what time is wasted and like, oh this is the this is the prime ship. Um, do you do you feel like that was wasted? Or do you look back like like I'm glad that I had that or what are I'm sure you go through the range of feelings on this. Yeah,

I do. I mean a little bit of both. I tried not to ever regret things in my life, and I I don't feel it was wasted in the fact that, like, you know, I finally lived with somebody, I finally dated somebody more than a year and a half and I know that I can do that and made great memories and the pandemic was a lot of it, and so I could have been alone during that and said I was with this lovely human that I you know, I

was getting closer to and that was good. But when I'm on the dating apps now and like most people that are matching with are like she's fifty seven, she's fifty four, she's forty nine, and no offense, but but also I do want to know who is interested no matter what the range is, because you once had a vibe with Susan Sarandon's and that you didn't capitalize on. So there's there's and Portman, he has had chances with

all these women. He's blown it. We'll talk about that more when we get back right after this with and Leave, but we're back with Ben Gleeve. You can check out his special on YouTube. Ben Gleeb Mad King hilarious. One of the best specials of last year. I believe, um, Ben Um, you're going through a breakup. Have you been dating? And like, here's my question is like, do girls that you're dating I think they have a chance at a relationship with you? Do they have a chance of relationship

with you? I think I've dated so many guys that are getting out of things and I'm like, oh, this is like and they're super down to like be cuddly and like treat me like a girlfriend because they're missing their girlfriend. And then you realize that you're you're just a placeholder and they have no intention of that and they need to heal. Is that happening to you at all? Ah?

That is a tough one to answer, considering people could listen to this, but I will say, um, yeah, I mean I've definitely heard the comment like I don't want to be your rebound, Like we'll be having a great time and then you can feel somebody kind of all of a sudden be like wait a minute, am I like, you know, catching feelings when when that might not last long term? But I don't feel any one way. I'm

by no means looking for another relationship this second. But at the same time, I'm not somebody who's gonna who's gonna, you know, avoid one if something unfold. Actually, I would encourage a friend to date. You would be like, you know, if you're the right one, he'll make an exception, he'll snap out of it. I feel like you because you're kind of ready. I mean obviously you were ready to settle down and like find someone. Is it hard dating? And L like, is it as hard as everyone says? Like?

What's it? Has not been hard? I mean knock on wood and have a lot of wood in front of me. I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I just have you know, cabinets here in front of me. Um, I uh, it has not I mean luckily, And I really think it's like the universe like wanted me to not be that depressed after the breakup. Like I've had a streak of luck that has really like made me

feel very much better about the breakup. And I've been able to spend time with some people and and like realize there's a whole world out there again, and it has made it a lot easier definitely, at least when I'm hanging Yeah, you know, here's my question is that And I'm always projecting because I always I never dated a guy that I wouldn't want to be their girlfriend.

I mean, I don't even think maybe if I was going on first dates that I met on a dating app, I'd be like, well I don't know this guy, so we'll see. But if I was like ready to bed you, I was like ready to be your girlfriend. And so I always asked my guy friends, like, how do you sleep with women and them not get attached and not end up having them hate you and want to like and have this turn where they're like they were cool with being casual. You thought they were maybe a haad

of talk, but it wasn't that clear. And then they changed their mind on you. I mean you're I know you're like me too and know it to a degree as well, Like how do men go about and sleep with women and not have to leave a string of women hating them in their wake? Like me who got the wrong message or human would change it in my head? Yeah, I mean is that it six year old women? Yeah? No,

I'm all over the range right now. And first tip I would give you is maybe try to frame it in your head in a way where you're not thinking, I'm about to bed this man, like you are a Victorian queen? What what what are you in in in the Renaissance? I'm about to bed to be you know discreets. But yes, I mean every single time that you go on a date with someone, the stakes are high. I mean the stakes are we're at least gonna like like

fucking isnt is generally the goal? Like if this goes great, we're gonna want to funk each other, and then in our head it's we're going to marry this guy. I mean, there's it's undeniable that that is on the table, and that you can't keep that even in your subconc from otherwise you wouldn't do it what. No girls are going on dates just to like, even if they say I'm just dating, I don't really want a boyfriend, I don't

really believe them. I think that everyone's kind of looking out for the one, and I think that's a lot of pressure. And and then if there's good chemistry, you certainly are going to start daydreaming about them being the one.

Maybe I maybe I'm crazy, but I always did. No. I think probably that's that's true if it like starts maybe on like a normal date, if it's like properly going out, but you know, some of some of some of the opportunities that I've stumbled into, like I'll meet somebody at an event or something, or we're around drinking and like so then it's like, all right, well, it's not too weird to like, you know, go home with somebody if you've already both been drinking and it's clearly

wasn't set up to be this romantic thing if you weren't drinking that you have had as many hook ups as you've had. I mean, like, how much does drinking play a role in hooking up? I would absolutely not have and alcohol is a big part. I mean I was talking to a friend of about this who's doing who's been sober for a few months. He's like, it's

been very hard to date. I wish that wasn't the case, but like when both parties are a little buzzed, I think that maybe is kind of the answer to what you're saying, is like if girls a little buzz too, she's thinking more sexually than maybe normally, and she's not thinking all about romance and betting Prince Charming and Victorian Castle as much she is. But you're going to get

that later on when she's sober. And that is that I mean, like, do you feel like any of these girls have like kind of followed up or are they the type of girls that like are used to this kind of thing and like they know the drill and then you don't hear from them again, Like do they

know or do you have you left? Girl? Have you had to have those conversations of like, I'm not only looking for something right now, I've had so many of those directed at me that it's just I can't imagine women get to go out and about and like not get hurt by hooking up. I just can't believe it. Well, firstly, you know, I try to be as kind as I can, so I'll keep giving it to him. You know, I'm

not trying to cut anybody out. I'm trying to give a feelings and you're keep I'll keep sleeping with him. I don't. I don't need to. I don't need to. Yeah, I'm not trying to. You know, have have one office too much necessarily. If somebody wants some repeat business, I'm

happy to offer a public service. You know, because you you have sex, you have sex repeatedly with someone and you start to have this intimacy and they start thinking about you, and you know, in those quiet times and they start fantasizing, and then there's little You've have been through it before for sure, where the girl just says something like just throws out a little dangles a line of like oh if we were dating, or like you're my boyfriend, or just where you go oh no, oh no. Well,

I think the key in those moments is as when you have to be honest, is you have to say you have to a one move is like let that comment kind of sit for thirty seconds and like show that it makes you a little bit uncomfortable, and then say like I just want to be clear, like I'm not at the moment looking for anything serious, not that that's not possible, but just so you know, it's like making me, it's making me have any Yeah, we we we don't know. We know you're out of a relationship.

We know that you're not looking for anything. You told us all of that. We think we can change you. We think we like you might be able to not when you would say something like that, that's like put you put up, you know the heisman, and you like like, no, this is the reason now director not giving consent to us to take you on our little relationship path. You're saying no, But the reason that I'm saying it, and I think I at least try to say it with

a bit of an open door on it. I'm just saying it so that you know that this may not likely lead there, but it may. I'm not ever saying just so you know there's no chance I'm gonna get in a relationship. I'm just saying I'm not looking for that. I mean, it's definitely been girls like banging you, but it's and I'm not saying you're like at faulty. I want to be clear, like I'm not Ben, you mislead women. I'm just saying, how are women not getting hurt all

the time sleeping around with Ben? Glee? He's charming, he's cute. I bet you are pretty good in bed, like you've had experience. You're an emotional person. That's the thing, Ben, You're an emotional person. I can see like holding a girl's face and being like you're so beautiful baby, and like being like when you're drunk, I can see you so getting like lovey dovey, like boyfriendly. Yes, And I mean it would be impossible for girls you have like

feelings or do women have hurt feelings around you? Have you experienced generally pretty lucky to do it? I mean, I think part of maybe the benefit of not being like an asshole guy is is that is like I am very complimentary, and I try to be very sweet, and I think but I'm also just honest, and I think they also just can tell they're not getting anything false for me, and so I think I'm very sweet.

But but but people then know that if even if I don't necessarily call right after, or if we don't make plans immediately right after, it's nothing against them I'm not trying to be mean. It's just I'm going through a thing, and they understand and then we'll check in. Because she said there could be a girl that would break through it. It is personal and that's and I know you're I know, it's not like I know the circumstances and every person, but boy, does it feel that

it is. I mean, I will tell you one one very weird experience that I just had though. So the first uh person that broke the seal so to speak, after my breakup, it was a you know, drunken night after after a gig I did. It was like a private Yeah, I was supposed to go to that. Uh No, it's a different one. That was a different That was the other night, um, which also ended. I definitely saw that night. I saw your Instagram stories. I was like, oh, this guy might be engaging in a foursome. I'm just

trying to have fun. But the point is, yeah, um, the first person that I slept with after my breakup, um, I you know kind of can venially for where I need, where I was in my head because it was immediately after the breakup, not immediately it was it was it was it was weeks and weeks later. Don't want to. I don't want my ex thinking if she hears this that I immediately see nothing worry. Okay, I'm curious how long that was really weeks and weeks? Okay it was.

It was weeks, and the least about of time there could be to call it weeks, it was a couple of weeks in dog years. The point is, um I she was likely leaving for a trip the next day for like a couple of weeks, so I didn't have to call and and it was obviously weird. But then you know, I started hanging out with other people after that, and I didn't hit her up. And and one thing

I do feel bad about, she did message me. It's very unlike me, actually, but she messed me but wanting to hang out again, like weeks later, because I had messaged her, I thought about her her on something and I message her and she wrote back She's like, I love to hang again. I just didn't reply to that, and I was replied everything, but I didn't reply. I just I got distracted and I didn't know what to say.

And I thought about it and I didn't reply, and I almost never do that, but I was doing a show four or five nights ago, and I did a joke about our encounter, and the show ends and she comes up to me, she was in the crowd. Was it bad? Like it? I'll tell you the joke. Yeah, it was not great. It was not great. Um, the joke was, um, it was a pretty vulnerable joke to The joke was, um, you know, I haven't had sex with anybody other than my ex fiance in a half decade.

The climate has changed a bit. You know. It's all good, but you need to like be a little more sensitive these days. So we were having sex and I was making what I would describe as bare noises, and I don't need to act them out for you, but they were kind of bare noises. In the middle, she says to me, I just need to check in with you right now. And so in the middle of me going like suddenly had to go like hard to go back

to the right to the bar noises it. She wanted to check back in to know that I wasn't like just all about the sex, I think, and like I was still a human connecting to human guys. You can get a little carried away and like, oh, we're fucking right now, and this is like right, I need to just like make sure you know I'm in the room.

I'm not just like a whole yeah, And so I you know, I smiled, and we finished it all good, and I was like, she's finally going right back to bar noise as long as she knew that there was still a connection. And so she come up to me after the show and I was like stunned, and I gave her a hug and I'm like, you look great, and then she texted me afterwards she was like, I hope it's okay that I came to your show. I just think you're hilarious and I wanted to hang and

like and uh. That was definitely a first for me being referenced in an act like that from our encounter, unless another girl said that to you, in which case it's an issue you might want to work on. L o O. I like this girl. She definitely loved being referenced. I would love it if I was proference someone's joke and that once didn't do anything wrong. You did. I wrote a song about a guy, and this was years ago.

We had had like a very romantic weekend and I liked him so much, and then I just never heard from him again. And he was my friend's brother, so I would kind of always know him because he was my friend's brother. I wrote one song about him. I never played it live except one time I played it live like a year and a half later in a coffee shop at a coffee shop gig and one of

my early gigs, and I remember introducing the song. It was called Lincoln Continental, and I said something like this is about a very cute guy liked and how it went on a date and you know, never really heard from him again and we had a very romantic weekend. Don't know whatever happened to that asshole. Then I played a song and then after the gig he's there and he was like, I was going to surprise you, and just I just wanted to say hi. I couldn't believe.

I was kind of mortified because he wasn't totally an asshole. He just again in your head that you made him into an asshole, when really it was probably a situation of like he just didn't have the same feelings that you had, and he thought he communicated that and he didn't go like ghosting. I've I feel like We tossed that around a lot, but like, how often do you really know you write to them a question or something and you just hear nothing like has ghosted each other?

Did you did you have sex in the back of a Lincoln Continental? Yeah? Why was it called that? Because that would maybe was the most serious. No, I don't think that we went all the way, but we did have fun in the continent. It was so weird that he came and like it was that night. It was

just so bizarre, I of all of all the time. Yeah, it's I don't know that that's happened to me, but I think that um just I mean someone coming to your she that she clearly still likes you, and she definitely was like dazzled by the fact that you wrote

about her and it wasn't anything bad. She just was saying that she you know, you were just saying you didn't say anything mean about her pussy or something that a lot of I'm sure a lot of women have gone to Chrystal Leiah's show and been like, he might talk about me, and then it's like they they catch something that you're like, oh, that's me, or you know, like I'm sure there have been girls that have been

devastated by things they've heard there. I mean, I've seen guys do comedy on Conan and talk about their wives in ways that I'm just like, this is humiliating. Um, And I've certainly done that before too. When I'm hurt, you know, like you write a joke about or a song on you like where you're like, he didn't really do anything wrong. I just like was hurt. We have a mutual friend who just like the same kind of thing. He was hugging up with a girl. He didn't have

the same kind of feelings that she did. He let her down gently, and then she fucking hates him now, and like just it's constantly bullying him and like getting other people to hate him, and we're gonna giving him advice about it, and I'm like, I've done this so many times. Says nothing to do with whatever she's saying. She's trying to get you canceled for, like whatever ship that you've posted about or your comedy or calling you a phony, it's because you didn't like her. That's all, okay.

So not okay, it's so not okay. I've apologized, I've made amends to those people. To that person that I did that too, but I was just so I mean, he didn't handle it in the greatest way, and there were definitely problems with how he did things on his side, But the way, the venom with which I hated him afterwards and tried to like rally other people to hate him was purely from a place, not of anything other than just feeling rejected and being so mad that I

loved this person and they didn't love me back. And it's like, it's just it's just this young person's response or a dumb person, like I see a lot of women, like I have guy friends, and I see women in their late thirties behaving this way and then into their forties, and I go, this is something you get out of in your twenties, I would hope. I mean, I was probably thirty two when it's thirty four, so I guess now I was pretty late to the game, presently bloomer,

like just getting hurt. That's why when I talked to my male friends and they have casual hookups, always like, how are you not leaving awake of just angry women behind you? I don't think I've hardly ever, I don't think I've ever really any Oh, yeah, I would know. I mean, I just think it's with being kind and and expressing yourself. Honestly, I don't think it's fair for somebody to expect that every hookup or even every dating for a few weeks is going to lead to relationship.

And I think people that are mature kind of understand that. But if guy tells you I am not, just so you know, this isn't anything serious. Listen, it's very crucial.

We all think that we can change them. And also we start having you know, I've talked about this at nauseum, but like you, when you have sex with a guy, the chemical things happen that take over your logical brain and it doesn't matter what you know to be true, it doesn't matter what he's told you, and that logic is out the fucking window when you let When you have good sex with someone and feel like and start

to like them, it doesn't matter. You're gonna go. You're gonna start fantasizing about a life with them and get hurt. Every time I see young girls like even my niece Poppy, I'm just like the world of hurt she is in for. And even you know, boys too. Obviously, Ben, you're going

through it. Like I look at children now and instead of being like, man, they have such great lives ahead of them, Like they get to go to high Like I used to be jealous that they get to go to high school and they get to just like still enjoy cartoons and they get you know, they get riled up by like you know, they get to have candy, like that's exciting to them, Like they don't have to pay taxes like and now I just think, oh, they're just gonna have they have to learn so many lessons

and it bums me out for them. Yeah, true, Yeah I do that. I mean, as you do your list until taxes, I'm like, I still do every one of those things. Now I'm enjoying cartoons at a bag of skill two nights ago with children. But then but then you feel fat the next day when you're kidding the old when I was, I think that's what I mean, like the unbridled like candy, it's just candy, it's only just sugar and happiness. It's not hating yourself afterwards. It's

not like there's no as a child. I don't know, maybe there's our children who feel like they hate themselves. Like I think, you know, given your circumstance, you can have bad self esteem, but as a kid, you just I didn't compare myself to other people. I didn't worry about what I put in my body. I didn't think

about I didn't dread things. I mean, there was certainly like all the end of summer school again like oh this sucks, but like there wasn't this like overwhelming sense of like I don't know, I'm just feeling it this morning of you know what, let's put a pit in this conversation. Let's get back to this, right we're left off right after this. Okay, we're back. All I want

to do is sleep. I just want an escape from like things to do, and like I'm I'm having trouble like finding happiness in the in the climb, in the experience, like I'm doing Kelly Clarkson tomorrow and I'm dreading it because I don't know what I'm going to talk about yet I hate all my jokes. I'm in this like very negative phase of like I don't even want to do my jokes on Kelly Clarkson because then people will come see me on tour and be like we already

saw this. I kind of know this, and they won't know where they hurt it, but they'll think she's just doing old material. I also, I don't have it in me right now to come up with new stuff. I have to go to a fitting. I'm just feeling like kind of dry and my spray tan sluffing off, and I'm like, I just everything about it is bumming me out.

And I know I'm gonna do it and I'm gonna have a blast, and then it's gonna be over and I'm gonna have this glossy clip that I can put up and be proud to be like, look what I did, America. I'm still relevant. Put me in things and give me more work that I can dread. It's like, what am I doing? This is what this is? All I want is for more people to get more work and to be more well known or whatever it is. And yet

every time I get something, I dread it. What is one thing that I try to help you with sometimes, I mean, just try to remind you to appreciate it. I mean, you're at the top of the world right now. You're You're where everyone wishes they would be. In this entertainment industry. You get to do every show, you get to be in every single thing. You're so in demand and and most people wish they could be experiencing what

you're experiencing, especially people pursuing it. And also you're just hilariously funny and charming, So you can also just go on and riff these things. Don't even have to burn jokes. You can just go and riff and you're pretty damn good. I mean, you can call her out and make fun of things on her desk and talk about someone in the audience or someone that you met backstage that was worked on the crew that had a funny thing on, Like, you're great at all that stuff. You're great everything you

talked about here today. Yeah, talk about my breakup and how I'm clearly breaking hearts of people and bring that. Talk about Ben's fun, thank you bad and he's giving me so much material today. Yeah, I just after this, I just what I'm gonna do as soon as we end this podcast is I'm going to get back in bed.

I'm gonna close all the curtains, shut the lights off, and I'm just gonna think about the Kelly Clarkson call that I have to have and come up with something that's like how, and then I'll probably fall asleep and then wake up and be like, oh funk this the call like that probably was gonna happen, but I just want to go back to sleep where like, I don't know.

Last night I was in a field holding hands with David Letterman and then he bit my hair and was chewing my hair, and then he spit it on Alonzo Bowden's coat, and that was my dream and it was awesome, and that was a better life than he was chewing your hair and some hair on the Great Alonzo Bowden.

Everybody spit it on Alonzo's wool coat. And we were in line to be to go on Andrew Santino's talk show, and we were all waiting in line, and then I took his spit because I remember when he was holding my hand, I was like, no one's gonna believe that.

David Letterman is like trying to fucking cop a field right now and hold my hand and like, and I was like, and then he bit my hair and I go, no one's gonna believe this either, and then he when he spit it on Alonzo's coat, I grabbed it because I was like, I have his d n A and

my hair and then much how much hair? It didn't bother me usually like obviously losing my hair is like my biggest fear, but it was like I was wearing my hair up in a ponytail, so it was just the top scalp, and it was just like a little a little bit like it just I don't know, it didn't bother just like I already know what this is. When were your last wearing your hair up? A couple

of days ago? I think, Oh, I guess for the people the Critics Choice Awards, and you were surrounded by celebrities and you were waiting in a line and they didn't let you in on the red carpet. They made you go downstairs. In real life, they made her, they told her the red carpet was closed. She has to go to a step and repeat down in the fucking basement. So this dream is about fame, about your place in

the world of fame. Your worst fear is somebody taking your hair out, but it's an icon, so he like is being sexual with you, take your hair, spits it, and then what you who's Alonzo Bowden to you. He's another comedian, UM respectable, uh strapping, handsome uh been around forever, one last comic standing, uh friendly guy I don't know, like someone I respect, but who isn't like the most famous, but who is definitely respected in comedy. I don't know. I don't know what he is to me. He's wearing

a wool campble coat. I mean, this all checks out. We're waiting for Andrew Santino's show, and as we were waiting for his talk show, I was like, why can't I come up with a talk show like this? Like the whole time, I was just like, why did he Instead of a talk show, it was like a projected on a wall, like a desk was a it was all a projection. And I was like, Oh, that's an interesting idea. And now I realized I came up with it. It was my freaking I created that TV show. I

should have I should, you know, get a credit for it. Um. But yeah, I mean I think all of that is true. I felt, as you're saying up bed of, like you're at the top of your game, people would want to be you. I feel that some days, and then I think going to that and that people heard me talking about yesterday, and it's such like first world problems, like where where, but just feeling so small in that room, like just feeling like, no matter what I do, I'll never be as big as any of these people and

is worshiped. And it's like and not that I even want that. And that was another thing, is like the thing that I think I won't I don't even want because at the same time I was having this, it was a paradox of like I want to be more known because no one cares about me in this room. I'm sucking in the same room as Julia Roberts. I mean nothing. It's like me, I could be a cater waiter and it would be the same, Like I'm closer

to their level than Julia Roberts. Like and not that there's any I'm just talking about status on a very superficial level. Don't come at me. I'm a cater waiter. I'm just saying it. I felt so unimportant. But at the same time, I don't like the worship of Julia Roberts. She's just a person that has was born with a pretty skull and a good and good skin and is able to portray strangers better than other people. It's not really a skill that has any kind of redeemable quality

outside of the society we're leaving in now. Like Conan often references like in another world, like in like the turn of the century, and take any century besides the recent one, his skill would have been worthless, like just being like the court jester, like he would be the most famous person. He would just be a guy, you know, like the caterers more important, because you die if you don't you don't. You die if you don't eat food. But Dowson Abbey, he doesn't have a place. I just

that show has to be called Downtown Abbey. I hate that, but it's I'm sure that's been well draped. Watched one episode and then he died, and I go, I'm none. But I have several issues with the whole premise of what you just said, which is I think that I mean, it was very cute your posts about being next to Julia Roberts and and you sit at the table and she was just here and touched my chair and everything.

But if you had had the confidence just to go up to her say hi, I think you're awesome, she probably would have been like, oh, my god, I love you and everything you're doing. She probably does know who you are, and she probably, I mean the best example you said, you know where near these people like worshiping you or caring about you. It's not true at all, because I mean, look at Chelsea Handler, who I'm still

friends if. I used to be very close with when I was on her show and we would hang out all the time, and like every celebrity on Earth, idolizes a party at her house, and like Gwen Stefani and Sandra Bullock and Charlie's Theren and Jane Fonda are all at the party being like, oh my god, Chelsea just walked by. Chelsea just did this. I was at one point talking me, Jane Fonda and Chelsea Handler in a little triangle, and then Jane whispers something in Chelsea's ear.

Chelsea makes a disgusted face and walks off without replying to her and icon of our time, of our generation and many generations. Jane Fonda turns to me insecurely and says, was it something I said? I never know what to think with with with that woman, what what's going on in her head? And I was like, thank god, it's not just me that responds that way to Chelsea's even Jane Fonda, and so everybody has that issue and just realized that if you remind yourself, we're all the same.

Even Julia Roberts in that moment, is the same and realizes, probably because she seems like a nice person, that she's the same. And then I mean it did help us off in the blow minutes later than Jane and I did Molly together. But the point is, yeah, she's so cool. It was her first time doing Molly too. It was really fun. Oh my god, wait where did we just got really high? And then I called next to play

Edward Norton ping pong. Next he was playing ping pong in some dude, and then Jane Fonda is like, oh, I have to see that. I'm like why, She's like, I want to see you playing ping pong on Molly, And so I'm playing ping pong with Edward Norton and all of a sudden, halfway through the game's icon, Jane Fonda Barbarella just plops down on a couch and was watching us play pink po and then like, I lost. I lost sixteen, and I said, let's run it back, and he's like, why don't you find somebody more at

your skill level? And I was like, that's hurtful, and then he said later he's like, don't worry. I studied under a Chinese master. I lived in China. I'm like very Edward Nord and sounding thing to say, my god, no kidding, yeah. And then I gave some drugs. I gave some molly to Matthew Brodrick, who then left before I got to put my baggie away, and I'm like, Matthew, you get back here, and he's like what. I'm like, I'm putting my baggie away. You can't take the drugs

and then leave me exposed with the bag out. He's like, sorry, I didn't know, I'm new with this or whatever. And so I made him stay until I put it away in my pocket. It was a wild night. It is Ben's dream from last night. Not not only was it not a dream not to rub his in nick, but last night I fucked David Letterman. Just so you know,

I get it. I mean I understand, like, but at the same time, I think that is so lame to like have, Like whenever I see like celebrities bragging about being friends with all these celebrities, I don't really think they're real friends. I think it's all just a show, and I then that depresses me. It's like I'd rather just be with my close friends that I can actually talk to and like we can show each other our vaginas and like there's been like like I like someday

then I don't get attached though, Um no I bar noises. Um. I just feel like I ruined myself to all your listeners, like I'm out at least most men make baron noises. I felt like that was actually a good description. Was like I'm just like waking up from a hibernation. I'm

just kind of like being roused. Um. But yeah, I just feel like I don't know, this is the dumbest conversation for me to complain about any of this stuff, but it's just it's there's just a point in my life where I'm like the things I've pursued, that my goals are all based on a superficial thing to me. I feel like and like last night I was with my friend's son Leon. He's like a little baby, and he remembered me from like I've seen him like three

times in his life. And he's nine months old, and he remembered me and was like crawling on me and just like laying his head on me. And then he his little hand was like gripping me, and I like was zooming in on his hand, just like like just like trying to like grabbing onto holding onto me. And I was like, that is what That is cooler to me than any celeb encounter. Like that's that's what makes me up. And I hate to sound like that's really

what this is about. It's about nature and family and friends, like, but it really is, like why am I not pursuing babies grabbing at me more? I guess if one of the girls I was sleeping with said that story, I would not text again. That's the truest thing he said. Yeah, I mean that's not a good sign. Um, good to know that. I mean, I'm I'm mostly joking, but I mean it's not something you want to hear on on date one or two. It's like my hand being gripped

by a young baby. All right, Well, let's slow it down. I don't want but I don't want a baby. Another paradox is like that's what brings me the most joy, Yet I don't want a baby. It's like these constant I would text back, then I would text changes, just hold random babies hands and then get the funk out of there. Um, and I leave just a wake of

disappointed babies that hate me and I respected more from me. Um. Yeah, I just feel like I don't know, I'm just every time I come to l A, I struggle with this because this town it tends to overwork me. I think that not getting enough sleep, not getting enough just like quality time with friends, um, and just feeling like you have to look a certain way and like everyone hears on ozempic and everyone's thin. Everyone is constant going to some kind of rumble boxing class or like a spin class.

I don't know. I walked by this place all the time. That's like rumble Fitness, and it's just like hot girls going in and out with cropped sweatshirts and on sunset. Between pink Dot and the snore poem, I didn't read them. I let her do her own reading. Yeah, let me read them, and I had to. Like it was the stress of like, okay, I have to read this and actually like committed to mind, but I also have to remember to make fun of him for this later on there at that moment. Yeah, I mean, these are like

the constant things that I have. But it's all because I'm just stressed out about Kelly Clarkson, which all of a sudden showed up of a schedule because someone dropped out, and so it's just like a thing and I just don't feel prepared. As long as I get prepared, I'll be great. But um, I need more caffeine in me. I meet need more. I just need I need something to stap me out of this left. Maybe I need to meditate, do some breathwork, make a gratitude list. Something

needs to I need to snap out of this. Also, I think you need to remind yourself that I think all of that business is a choice. You need to remind yourself that, like you, you do more stuff than most people do because you're very kind person, and you say yes to everything, to a lot of things you asked to do and every single podcast and like, and you don't need to do any of those things. You

don't need to, Dolly. I mean, you need to Killy Clarkson now because you said yes, But you don't need to do any particular talk show if you took one or five off. If you weren't in the media for six months, that would not do anything negative to you, know, it wouldn't six months would do nothing. I'm telling you, it's all a choice. It's all a choice. There's definitely something to be said by for doing the things, something to be said for being a little more mysterious and

not doing all the things. So my only point with that is that definitely you don't have to say yes to every podcast and every single show. And if you said to Kelly Clarkson, I'm not ready this week, I'd love to do it in the next couple of months, they would book you in two months and it would be more. I mean, I struggle with that like too available type thing, because you feel so if you're choosing

to do things, just remind yourself every time. It will help you get up for it that it's a choice and you won't dread the things as much because you truly don't have to be doing it. Like like when I started stand up like three years in one day, just all of a sudden got really tired of saying the same jokes over and over again, and I was like, oh no, what am I gonna do and my whole life now is going to be repeating my own thoughts

over and over again. And then I thought about it for a week and I thought, I realized what a privilege to be able to just have funny thoughts. I thought of that I get to say, and I get to choose to tell them, or I can choose to tell different ones, or do I don't have to do it. And I never got tired of it again because I realized it's a choice. Even though we want to like hate on it and think negatively, it actually is a

choice that we're making over and over again. So choose one. No. I had a call with my my team Want to Zoom like a couple of weeks ago, and I was like, I want to be a regular on Kelly Clarkson. That has to happen. Ine like, that's a goal. I love that show. I see clips all the time. They look cool, She's amazing. I always have fun on that show. I always kill it on that show. And then the next week they're like Kelly Clarkson booked, and I'm like, not now like I wanted to, which is supposed to be

in a couple of years from now. Like I want to do all these things and then they arrive and you're like, oh, I gotta fucking do them. And I mean, I think that's where everyone relates to that when inside, if you tell your team I want the thing and they can get it for you, that's a little different. No, they did their due diligence. I don't even know what that words means, but they do. They do that, and then I feel and I want to just say with

Kelly Clarkson, I do want to do that. The podcast I did yesterday, I did want to do it because it was about I got to read a book and I do a book club podcast, and I like that podcast. I've listened to it, and so I am choosing things that I want to do. Um. There are things though, that, yeah, you do because you're just like, this is going to spread the word about my show. Do I want to have a call today with the Kalamazoo paper about my shows in Kalamazoo? Funck? Now, I don't do I want

to call a radio station and Juliet, Illinois. Probably not. That's not because I don't like those people. They're not good entertainers. But like the other day, I had a radio interview and final thought. I had a radio interview the other day and they were like, we interviewed you five years ago, and I just want to say you're just as nice as you were then, and not you're way more famous, but you're still as nice as rare.

And I was like, well that it shouldn't be rare, but thank you for saying that, and they go, I go, I'm sure you guys see people changed without the years because it's a radio station that's been on forever. And they were like, yeah, we made some people's careers and then they don't even call in anymore. They were like, Larry the cable guy used to come in, call in three times a week and we haven't heard from it. I go, it's not because he doesn't appreciate what you did.

He's fucking busy. He can't do three times a week anymore. And he was on his way up. You got to do that stuff, and so I was kind of like this is It made me think, oh, man, if I if I turned down this radio a station in the future, their story will be Nikki big Time does she thinks she's too big for it? But what the story is is I just can't fit it all. I would love to keep doing that show three times a week. I'm sure Larry would too when he had time. It was

what he did. And I think that that also um weighs on me of you know, even you know, I can relate this to listeners who are like ship Nikki, shut up about you know, your showbiz life. You know you might have uh, I have this in my own life. My boyfriend and I talked about constantly, like no one does anything anymore, No one wants to hang out, No, none of our friends want to hang out. People are just like they don't think to invite us to things, you know. And then I go, it's because they have

kids and families. They they they it's something they don't like us less. They're just have less space in their brain for to remember to invite us. And it's the same thing of like just not taking it personally. And I think that really is what I have to work on more than anything. Is like not everything is a personal attack. That's almost like being in that room at the Critics Choice and just being like, you're insignificant. Even thinking about myself in those terms, it's like who, no

one cares about you? That's my problem. But also who cares that no one cares about you? That's also like, it's it's self serving to even think that people should care about me, even though I don't want that. It's it's also the opposite because there's probably a good chance Julia Roberts is like, I haven't had a hit in a long time. I see that everything, and she didn't win her categories. She's there. You don't go to the Great Choice Awards if you're nominated unless you think I

might win. Like, if you thought you were gonna lose or had any inside infote, you would not be there. It's embarrassing to lose when you're in person, your face is up there and the cameras on you, and then they say someone else's name, and then the cameraman slowly like pants to go to someone else. That's so embarrassing. So yeah, she probably had those same moments too, even though she looked like twenty five and was flawless and

radiant and um definitely the bell of the ball. Um. Yeah, but I think you should just talk on Kelly Clarkson about this moment where you're sitting at the table and and then your face is soles. It's so funny this this could be a ten minutes segment just like tell us everything that's going on in your minds for like your your your Candace Bushnell series, like it really is. Oh my god, that's a good pitch. That's a really good idea. What would it be called? Um on the sideline?

I'm a title for a million years I wanted to do called non Entourage. Oh that's great, which like it's the opposite of enter It's like the real story. It's like you go home alone and like you're trying to do the things and you don't get all the big things and there's no vins, you know. Yes, that is

a like I should say, could still have a show. Yeah, and you could still have the brother Johnny drama just for some reason, it's also your brother and he appears every episode and just goes sorry, Bro, just his only two words you ever said on that show. Sorry Bro. That was really good. Bevan Glee, thank you so much for being here. Um. I love you so much. I hope that I get to see you on this trip.

I'm leaving Thursday. I don't know that I will. I don't even know, you know, I didn't tell you because I just didn't have time. I knew that would you would obviously be a person I would hang out with if I had time. Thursdays several days away. We can maybe squeeze it in. It is several days away a keyword. Um, Yeah, let's squeeze it in. We'll text each other. I gotta go to the fitting now and then get back in bed and think about Kelly Clarkson. Watch me on that tomorrow,

see what I come up with. Um. And I love you too, by the way, and you are the best, and thank you. So nice to meet friend. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too, And this has been very nice. Follow him on things. He's hilarious. He check out his Aagram um lives where he's singing karaoke a Loane date people my fans love and Instagram Live and I am. I go live on our account all the time and there's like thirty people there and it's sometimes I sometimes WoT a stick or over the number

ben so then I don't think about it. It's really good idea because they can't. That's the one that's gonna have a thousand viewers and I'll never know one time I did. I went on TikTok live for the first time and so and I started off frame and it was like seven hundred viewers and I was so excited. I'm like whoa. And the second I stepped on frame and just drop it was so like people would rather watch a blank wall. I've rarely do this, but you post a story and I'll be like, this is an

actually good one. I wonder like if this would be what I could do on TikTok or something, and I'll watch I'll look at the analytics of it and it shows how many people click forward like just went past it, how many people exited out of your story, how many people went back like that's what I wanted. The number of people going like, oh I want to watch this again, it's like two. I was like it would be like thousands.

I was like, this is entertaining people. Just go Tinks, this girl that I followed, Tinks did an impression of like when when when you think when you say he watches my Instagram stories, like oh my god, he's been watching my score stories. What it really looks like It's just a guy going like uh and let's just clicking it so fast on a toilet on a toilet. Yes, it's like it's never what you think. It's so embarrassing that someone would like be watching my face and like

clip off of it. Even if I do that to everyone all day, I do it to both of view, and it doesn't mean love. And another horrible metric is the one that tells you watch time like you think the view counts. You're getting our real views. And just like a one minute video, it's only a fucking minute long, and the average watch time nine seconds. You don't even get to the first thought. Now I know why you two are a little prone to depression. I didn't even know.

I looked at it one time, and I go, I mean, I'm not I'm better at not reading comments than fucking anyone. I don't look at any of that stuff. I would. I wouldn't be here with us today if I read that stuff. If I looked at my likes and followed how many how many followers I lose, I literally would have killed myself. But I'm not kidding you. I would not be alive right now because it's so depressing. So it's rare that I don't seek the stuff out. It was just one time I looked, and I go, I

will never go back. It was Pandora's Box of Hell. And and then I hear on Twitter there's a new button that shows you or there's a new thing that shows you how many people have senior tweet. It used to just be like if they liked it. Now you can see how many people saw it versus the number of likes and how many people did not like it. I hate that stuff too, but I just honestly use

it to make me stronger. I look at that stuff and it makes me feel kind of bad, but I really feel like I'm taking it on his arm or like is it to make the rope stronger that I'm trying sprinkler system to a sprinklers, Like what do you rig sprinkler? Someone trying to kill themselves and just being like jetted around, just being sent everywhere with this rope, not being killed, but just being like a dog, like

you guys thrown around the yard. To consider what you'd hang yourself off and you weren't if you can't even put a hanger on, and how could you wait? Well, I mean, like the piping, I was sure they're more specific. This is why I'm going to bomb on kellys are good. I'm not good off. I'm not good riffing. I'm just gonna end it all, and by that I just mean this podcast and I'll see what stars in the borrow.

This was one more sentence before you ended, because that's exactly how you see it wrong, because you were so I'm sorry if anybody's ever forcibly not let you end your own podcast before, sorry, but that's exactly how you see it wrong, because you just riffed so funnily. It was the best back and forth. It was piping day

because they're gonna go. Ben Beleeve wouldn't let her end her podcast in two thousand twenty three, and it's gonna be like two thousand forty five when that is like if a guy doesn't let you enter a podcast, and then you're gonna get canceled from what's you're gonna go. It was a different time back then. We were you can interrupt women. I don't mean to, I don't mean to man explain your podcast. But thank you all for listening to the Nikki Glazer Podcast. I really appreciate you

guys being here, and we'll see you again soon. Don't be killed, Jack fo