#300 A Freezing Night of Comedy w/ Bobby Jaycox

I forgot that you're broken. That you really did look like a broken woman for a second, like you can only face forward? Is that hurt this way? How are you paying wise? Lately? I'm so much better. Oh my god, that's such good night for what I did last week. Oh well, we'll get to that in a second. But let's bring in our second guest on the show today. I've been wanting to get him in for a long time. He is a long time friend of mine, started out on the St. Louis comedy scene, um many years after

I was on it. But he's a to me always like you'll always see you as like a young and kind of so sorry. I'll never like fully respect you can tell. No, He's just he's blossomed into quite a great comedian actually, and he was always good. That's why I liked you in the beginning, because I just saw, like I was like, this kid is so fucking funny.

He's my mom's favorite comedian. Early when she used to come to open mic nights, she would always just be like, Bobby jay Cox is the funniest and I would feel a little tinge of jealousy. You know that you're taking something from me. Um liked you more than he liked me, So it's like it just goes back. Remember that. It's just like when you see him all the time, like yeah, yeah, well it's Bobby jay Cox. Everyone by every thanks for having um. I literally just listen to the applause. Man,

it's so nice time, audience. Jay Cox is your last name? Jacox is my last nime? How many people think your name is Bobby ja so many people And people will be like, that's a cool stage name. I'm like, you thought that's what I picked for my stage name. Do

they have big plans for you? They did not. They wanted me to do pretty much anything else, but this, but now, yeah, anytime I get like something like good when I'm like I'm going on the road with Nikki, or like whenever I first started, that was when they were like, okay, that's what always happened. Yeah, it takes a long time for them, like for them to understand.

And now my mom just when she wants talk about stand up, she was like, Bobby, I've been watching more stand up and I go, oh, really, She goes, what do you think about Pete David's and tear you like it earlier or not? I'm like, mom, that's like the last thing I think about with stand up. She's like, let's talk about comedy and let's talk about it. Grow out. Oh yeah, I grew it out during COVID and I just can't. I don't want to cut it. And people are not nice about it. People like because I was

like I would hand out like a business card. Yeah, and I'll like show them a picture I had before, like at a club, they'll put up my old photo and people will look at that and they'll be like, you look like a model here, and I go thanks. They go no, no, no, not, but there you look like a model, Like, don't take it now I'm not giving you now he would people do that? Yeah, I think I look better with short hair, but I feel better with long hair, Like I like, I like the

feeling of it, Like it's just interesting. Usually those two kind of go together, the way you look and the way you feel. We are so are so tied together in our society. But not for this girl. Um, you do have beautiful hair. It's almost like you have the Rachel going on. There's like intentional like layers there. I mean, like his hair is almost like yeah, I mean you know, he's got more hair than I do. Here's the problem. I had my ex cut my hair and so she

actually left. She tried to do framing around my face. So when I put up in a ponytail, I look like like just like any woman going on a job, like I have like these two like little things that got like framing look real cute. After the breakup, I just read something recently that was like, don't take cut don't take good pictures of your boyfriend girls, because he's going to use those on his tender profile at six spots.

I My boyfriend would never do that to me. He's he's almost too conscious conscious of like doing anything like he's almost We've been together often on for nine years and he's still like paying respect to his exes before me of like, I don't want to post too much, like I just want to make sure they're okay. I'm like, they have kids and families. You can post about me now. I love Chris. I love seeing how sweetie is. I

love seeing him on the podcast with you. He'll just see sitting there and be like, like how he talks to you? You have like the guy. Yes, I mean I feel that way too, but that's really nice. Yes, people notice it, and he's he always makes everyone else Like when I show up and see you guys, he always makes me feel included. Like Chris, he's a very sweet person. There's something in that. The Convi family, they're

all the sweethearts. Yeah, they're all really nice. And I do like that about him so much, where he makes everyone feel good. He's not like he's no here too cool for literally anyone. If whatever is, it's just because it's tired or something. What was it like spending Thanksgiving with them with his family? Um, Well, we didn't spend Thanksgiving the meal together, but he did come to um. See he went to the parade, like he went to

see me saying, like we we spent the night. I haven't like been around him at all because he's been working on Beauty and the Beast which airs December fifteen. Definitely checked that out on ABC UM and so I haven't seen him at all. But he we spent Thanksgiving

Eves together, remember you were there to mom. So his family does this thing at a country club where they rent out a uh, what is it called paddle paddle tennis court, which is like outdoor paddle tennis, and then there's like a little hut where you have all this like they had catered with all this food, and then they had like friends of the family and their family there. And it was nice because I go to that every single year. They do it every year before Thanksgiving night before,

but I've never gotten bring my family before. It was really fun to bring my family into this and merge the families because my family is a little bit more out there than the conv's a little bit more We just like talk about we say things sometimes that people kind of look at us and go, oh, that was the story was not really appropriate for the setting, you know, Like we just talked about what they talk about. I think the US, I think they that would be a

polite way of saying it. We're just a little bit sillier, but I think we bring a lot of fun to it. It It was so fun. I mean it was you sang a song probably seven different times to sue the baby, so tim my mom has a secret song that she sings, and the baby just is hypnotized that it was insane. Yea on my story. I know you don't look at my instagrams. I can't watch everywhere on them most of the time, and I can't see you can't see every literally you are Pet's true behind Brian glasses to do it.

But you you played paddle tennis. You was soothed this baby with a song that's called I Am a Little Dutch Girl, My Home is far Away. And then we got into like the etymology of it, and we're like, where does this song come from? And it was my grandmother's song passed down and we sang it over and over, and then this other little girl caught onto it and was like, I really like it. She was like four, and she was like, I love that song. And then I had to sing it for her. A bunch of times,

and it was torturous for people to listen to. But then we also we ate good food. We played paddle tennis. My mom ran into a fence. I'm very competitive. Yeah, thank god you were out there like holding down the court literally for me because I played once and I was like, that's enough, right, They're like, we're going to play again, and I'm like, no, I did once. Isn't are too proud that I really good? Actually, you kept

saying that every time I would do anything. Every hit she did, I go, oh my god, you are good. And it would like accidentally hit my racket. When I would be like looking at something, like the ball would accidentally hit my that's a blessing and the skill to have that ball comes. But it became like it was like I was a child, you know. It was like, wow, you're kind of and then your dad's like, you're so beautiful when you pad, you're beautiful. It was hey babe.

Exactly one time we called that and he said, hey babe. And it's been a long running joke. He's allowed to say hey babe. Disn's it just Andrew just teased me for it just sounded a little bit too um like he was my boyfriend. Even though I've been trying to get Chris to say babe, he doesn't even years Yeah, he does call he won't call me babe? Does he not say I actually called my roommate she's I called

her baby? I'm like, I'm so like, I feel like it's a term of phrase that comes out my girlfriends and if you were on a girlfriend level with your friend, babe is fine. And I like, I'll say it sometimes wherever. Why won't he say? Does he think it's like weird? I think he's just yeah, I don't know that the reason, Oh yeah, he's respecting were calling her a pig. I don't know if that's not like like that baby or

any babe. Yeah, I think it's animal cruelty to uh, what's the word for when you take over some things? What do they call it? When you wear like dreadlocks as a white person appropriating pig culture? So that's what that's why you won't call me babe. But I don't know. I've never really gotten answer. I call him babe, but it will not it won't get rong. It's just too embarrassing to be like, hey, will you call me, babe. I think he had heard you said. You've said this

already well loud and clear. Chris, if you're listening, would really like a babe. He doesn't listen to this show. No, he doesn't, and which makes me feel free, and also like I don't it's I don't know, I don't listen to this show. Don't make excuses. Are you kidding so I feel free? Or because you're just I mean, I don't expect you to. We used to do it four

days a week. It's a lot to listen to it us. Also, it's all that I've been on it once called Andrew, but I've called Andrew babe a couple times because I'm just so used to calling my girlfriend's babe that you know, it's just to anyone, I feel that platonic I say babe, and so it was like it just came out. But it's so weird. It is feels weird to call a guy that because you're like, that's romantic. Why do I still tell I do tell my guy friends that I love them. When I got the phone, I think it

infuriates heard that was my little brother. I mean, obviously I love my little brother. I always tell all my friends. Yeah, just for right now, I need to talk to Ed. But yeah, I don't. I don't know what it is. I think I like using those terms of endearment, being like hey, babe or or something, or being like I love you. My guy friends would be like okay and

then you get off the phone. But I'm like, who knows, like love those ttoks of guys calling their dads and just being like I supposed to say I love you and just like the dad being like everything accident. It's so great. Men like sharing their feelings more, but it is weird with like female and male friendships. There's just like certain things you can't do that you would do with your girlfriends and and vice versa. Like it just it is going to be different unless you're both gay,

I guess. But I don't think lesbians and gay men really hang out that much. I would think they would, yeah, you would think, yeah, but they have like they have the common But yeah, it's a stereotype for sure that gay men and lesbians don't get along. But I think the club isn't it mixed? I've been to like one in Minneapolis. There was one I went to where it was like totally like it was usually it's more like

male or female. And then they also hate when like straight people like what, we're just trying not to go to bars where they fight all the time. Like this is like any time we go to a city, I'm like, where's the gay bar? And they're like, oh, I'm like no, I just like to not have guys getting bump into me, like you're talking to my girl, like I'm just standing here, like it happens. That happened a lot, not like not all the time, but get energy. Yeah. Yeah, they're like

they think they're like, hey that girls excuse me. Yeah, that's interesting, Like even think about that and navigate like when I go places I'm not I do hate fighting and I hate when something would break out at a bar, but I don't go to bars that often anymore. But yeah, I guess thinking just avoiding conflict because you get pulled into that stuff quickly. It's yeah, and it sucks. And when once a guy like decides he's in that realm, that's like what's going to happen. It happens on Thanksgiving,

happens all the time. Don't you go out the night before Thanksgiving? I did? I did go out and just like hang out for like a little bit with some friends and stuff like that. What's it called again, It's like Skanksgiving, and they called it in St. Louis. I don't know if that's acceptable. Everywhere. I went into the radio station on Wednesday, Everyone's like Skanksgiving, and I was like, this is the first I've heard that term. I don't know, never never, Well, now you have. So it's the night

before Thanksgiving where everyone gets roundy. I get it. Yeah, it's the biggest party night of the year. Yes, that's right. Well I did not party that hard. So yeah, it was nice to see Chris that night, but then we um the next He spent the night that night, and then the next morning I had to wake up at like five five to go do the parade, and I had my um Mike check at seven thirties, so I was like up like curling my hair and putting on like fake eyelashes at like six of the morning on Thursday.

It was just like a lot and then UM drove down there, drove down there, and the rain it was fucking pouring down rain right before we started, and then it's let up for the entire parade, and then as sous parade was over, started spitting again. It was so it was a miracle. But Chris came down. So I was there down there from like you know, seven thirty doing the mic check until you know, nine oh five

when the parade, I guess officially started. But um just walking around kind of by myself, like singing to myself. I was walking by the ferris wheel down there by Union Station, and I was just walking around just like singing at the top of my lungs, like doing vocal warm ups and looking like a real fool. And people kept coming up to me being like, do you need anything, and I'm just like talking to me. I'm literally going,

WHOA talk to you right now? If I'm doing that in the corner, like you think, I'm like at a party and no one's talking to me or something and I'm feeling sad. Well, no, it was anyway, it was. It was. Yeah. I was nervous as fuck, dude. I was so nervous. Well not nervous, because here's the thing about I realized, and I've talked about this before. The only thing that I do is I sign up for things. I say I'm going to do, and then I have

to do it. And then if you want to push yourself to do things that are out of your comfort zone, sign up for something far away that you can convince yourself you'll be good enough. When the time comes, you won't be because you're not going to do the preparation you need to do the preparation that is in your mind. You're like, oh, I have so much time, You're not

gonna do it. You won't be ready, you'll want to cancel the day before, which I wanted to cancel up and do a week before, and then I went to a voice lesson. I was like, oh, I kind of got this, and then I went to a voiceless in the day before. On Wednesday before I went to the racket thing, and I was like this is bad, Like I'm bad, Like I haven't saying for week I was supposed to be paraded to think I didn't and I was like, I they need to find someone. They can

find someone you think about. I feel like I feel like I've said this because I've also been trying to sing and play music on stage like I did it. I ended a show in a theater and I was like, I'm gonna play a song even though no one wants this, and just to do the same thing. I'm like, I'm gonna sign up for it. But I get I would be way less nervous if I was like, you're going to go in that room in front of so many people in bomb doing stand up. That makes me less

nervous than singing in front of people. Get more nervous. Okay, well that's not so I got. I get nervous about singing because I felt like, like I said when I when I was on the Mass Singer and we'll get to that in a second, I kind of said that it was great because I did it all the everything about myself that was like, you can't do this. You're a comedian, you're Nicky Glazer, you're thirty eight, You're like,

no one knows of you as a singer. No one you don't like if you take if you shed all that away and you put on a big snow snow person costs snowstorm costume, I could be anyone under there, and so then I can convince myself this is fine and that I should be doing this. I got asked to do the show the ruled the show that your celebrity that's supposed to be singing, So everything's like I have to It's like my joke about bondage. I like bondage because it forces you to do the thing that

you want to do anyway, which is be lazy. Like it's force was forcing me to sing like this show, it's like, well, I got to do it. That's the rules of the show. But me at me being asked to sing the national anthem, I didn't ask to sing. I did ask to sing it at the Cardinals game when I did the first perch and pitch, but they didn't let me. So this time they did ask me. I didn't ask them, so I felt okay they asked me. I said yes, and then I'm like, you know, singing

doesn't make me nervous. I like love doing it. I don't ever get nervous while I'm performing, But leading up to it, I was just like it was just all the thoughts of this is ridiculous. People at home, we're going to be like, why didn't they get someone from like the gospel choir, like down the street, Like there's a thousand people within a quarter mile of her right now that could sing better than her. Why are we listening to this? Well, the truth is because I'm a comedian.

I'm kind of famous, and and they like, that's nice to be honest that afterwards you're just like it's I had You're like it was solid like that, no way that anyone would say that it was, but for a comedian, it was an a you know, like if you if you consider the variables, it was an a for me. Um, And it wasn't as good as I've done in a

private room with like coaching and when I'm relaxed. But standing in the middle of the street with my family just like literally away from me and then a big camera on a jib like you know, following me, That's the mess I could do. And so afterwards I was just like, oh good, it's over, and then I'm good to get my mom was like crying. I was sobbing. I couldn't stop the tears coming out of my eyes. I'm like, because you love America, Like it was so emotional.

I just couldn't cry when I did like plays in high school, like no, I was always so excited and but I never cried. That was just this big relief or something. It was really, yeah, it was did you hear the word relief? It's like that she didn't bomb. Of course it makes the whole time. Remember last week I said, my mom is gonna be so worried the whole time about that was part of it, but it was you just said it. You said it was not

a relief. You got it. You did it. You did it. Yes, and she wanted to see you do your best and she was very happy. My god, I thought you were fabulous. No, no, no, it was so nice. It was so nice. But I could tell that you were you were. I could tell Lauren and you were both like are you Like you're just gonna go do this? Like it's so weird, Like they're like thirty seconds and you guys are just like is this really happening? Like it was weird. Of like

why it was amazing. I think it would air on TV. I knew it had so important. You're the grand I've never cared about the Grand Marshal. I never you just that person that comes find a like a there's actually a Grand Marshal. I met him and I'm the honorary Grand Marshal. So the Grand Marshal is actually a thing that he what do you do when he goes. I just go to meetings all the time, and I'm like, okay, well, thank you for your service, like he sings to everybody everything.

The role of the Grand Marshal to sing. I think they just gave me that. But right the Grand Marshal, it's just to go to meetings and just to go to things and be likedys got to be in charge what they do actually within the government system. But with parades, you just sit in the back of a car like Kennedy before things went wrong and you wave to people. And I got to sit with Chris and just like waved and it was just like a what is it a third of a mile? No, it's two miles. That

was two miles. You didn't go two miles, but the whole parade is two miles. You dipped out, dip out, dipped out, make a left up here on arsenal, you dipped Why did I did think? As you were going to be interviewed up in that? Then I went and sat for the interview and waited an hour and was not finished by the time. Well you know what has finished this segment. We got to go to commercial. We'll

be right back with more after this. All right, we're back. Um, So we talked about the parade, anything other things we want to say about that. Oh, I did see someone at the parade that I knew from high school. Alex Schwartz shout out to him. Um, all of a sudden, I just heard like NICKI and like, I turned and I was he sounded much more masculine than that. But I turned and it was Alex, and I was like, Alex. It was this guy that I like knew very well

in high school. We called him Bona for some reason, not because he got bonus, but we were just like Bona. We just always just call him Bona. I don't know why he does. There's no reason he didn't get bonus. There was nothing about like. We just called him Bona b O n A H. And So I saw him and he looked amazing like he looked. I was so proud of myself to identify him because he looked exactly mean, this is twenty years after. He looked exactly the same.

And I was like, Hex, are you going on Saturday? Because my twenty year reunion was Saturday and this was on you know, this is Thanksgiving Day? And I go are you going in Saturday And he's like, I don't know. He's there with his family, and I was like, you gotta go. You look great, you gotta show that off. Like I was like trying, because everyone doesn't want to go to the twenty year because they don't know look like they want to. They aren't in a place in

life where they should be. Um. But and I'm shocked to say he did show up. I bullied him into going and he did go, and I'm so glad. And um, I think he's not going to go if you didn't say he said no, he was not going to go. Especially ten year, I think it's dumb. We have Facebook and stuff, But twenty year, I'm so excited to hear about did you see who? Like, did you see anybody that you were like? You are so made to me in high school? Like, did you see anybody that you

like that you mean to high school? Um? You know. It was so when Louisa Lang wrote to me and was like, because she saw the she's a comedian in New York Younger comic really funny, and she saw me like post of me standing next to the twenty year reunion sign and she was like this is my life goal is to go back to my twenty year reunion as a famous comedian. She was like, this is the greatest thing I've ever seen, and I was like, it was,

it was pretty great. There's you know, I really appreciate where I am in life, and like, I'm proud of myself and all my accomplishments. But there is something about that night that I wanted it not to be a thing, Like I wanted to not feel like she's here, or like I didn't I didn't want to talk about myself. I didn't want it to be a big deal. I just wanted to be normal. I love being on stage, but as soon as you're off, like you like talking people, but I don't want I would not want everyone to

swarm around. And I don't know how it's just different. I totally feel the same way, and I used to always not think that way, because I used to like desperately want to be famous and have people go as like that was my dream in high school. And then when you get it, you can kind of tone it down like in the real world, like you know, I mean to turn on stage and then afterwards, like I don't have to people think that they don't know, because

I wouldn't know either. But people are always like, do you must get recognized everyone, like it must be a lot for you because it's unfairly recognizable now, you know, Like I've done enough stuff where it it happens. And I think people recognize me more than I know that they do because they don't always say something. But I love that I do not walk around being like, oh my god, people know who I am, like I don't. Today I walked to start with, I spilled, I went,

I went to starts to journal this morning. I got my Venti latte extra hot. I put it on the table, I sat down, my leg bumped it, and the entire thing Venti extra hot, the entire latte spilled on my lap. These pants too, they're in good shape. Even the flowers didn't get um coffee eat um scalded my legs. And I'm just like, and all these people are looking at me, and there was not one part of me that was

like they're gonna think Nicky Glazer. Like it was just like I was just a dumb girl, you know, Like, and I think that I would have thought that at this level, I would always be thinking people know who I am, but I don't think about that at all. Yeah, apologies kept, and she goes, seriously, stop apologizing. It happens all the time, and I'm like, I know, but I'm apologizing for the people that don't apologize, Like this is

really annoying and you are already busy enough here. And I have so much empathy for Starbucks workers because I read on you know, Reddit, like how poorly they're treated by customers. At one time, like brag, she goes, I was so mean to this late Starbucks and like, why is that cool? She's like because she was so rude. I go, I bet she wasn't. I bet she was? And some people, yeah, it's disgusting. It's is your aunt trouble kind of Yeah, she's a Karen for sure. Yeah,

she is definitely a Karen. Have you seen her lay it down? H Yeah, she lays it down in front of She yells at every She's like someone yells at everybody. And then once I turned thirty, she yelled at me once and I pulled her aside and go, hey, just so you know, I'm a full fledged adult and I would never talk to you or your kids when they grow up like that, so don't do that, and she goes at it and then one time she like texted me something and I was like, I'm just going to

ignore it. Yeah, she's I have before from like people that you, oh, I used to like, you know, just like the family stuff where you're like your aunts or something take a tone with you about like this, and I'm like, I almost to be scared of my aunts. Let me just say, I'm like, I revere my aunts. I look up to them, I love them. But now if I get any kind of two from family, I'm just like, you're just a person to me, man, like you do, like I don't really subscribe to like but

their blood. It's like, well I could have been adopted then, and then would you still say blood? You know, like it's just you. I think I'm not. My parents are definitely not on board. And I'm not saying about any I love all my family, have no beef with literally any of them. I'm very lucky about that. But there are times where I'm like, you have to go see them that you're there in town. I'm like, no, I don't,

because they're I literally don't this person. I don't see them except once every ten years just because I'm in their town. Have to waste my time going to see them, isn't it crazy? Well here and here's blood there, blood nicky, And this is literally what she did. She came up to me one day and this was like, this was a while ago, but she was like, Bobby, I saw these people and they were at a Pro Choice and she was like crying and I was like, oh my god.

And she was like, I just can't believe what they do to bab and I was like, okay, and then she literally that's when she went to the starbus. She was and then I went in there and yelled, and I literally go, that used to be a baby. I was like, you can't just like want babies to be here and then yell the people that are here. She's a future baby, Like it's crazy. She's like that where she doesn't see both sides. And I would tell her that and she'd be like, I just don't see it

that way. And You're like, that's crazy, Like to not have empathy for people like in the world working for you, that's the easiest answer. I just don't see it that way. That's the answer. It's like, that's not a good enough answer. I just see agree to disagree that kind of thing. Yeah, please, let's finish this. And but you know the serial salesman how to joke about people who are pro life and how they get so upset about like little girls especially.

You see little kids on the picket line, their parents have brought them there, and they're like screaming like, don't kill these babies. They literally think babies are being murdered in there, like fetuses are just being stabbed in the eyeballs. And so of course these little girls are gonna be like they're killing babies like it would be fucking traumatized. So it's as like your aunt kind of has a

misconception about what it is. And so because if she's able to elicit tears over the lives of these then she obviously think something horrible is happening in there. But then not crying about yelling at a person in real life. Well that's the thing, is like, well, because people are so people like your aunt. No offense to your aunt, but also offense come at me, bitch, um is that you think you you think you're better than the Starbucks employee.

You think that you made different decisions in life that didn't make you well, I can talk down to waite stuff because I I'm not I'm not a waiter. Why aren't you a waiter? Oh? Because I worked hard in life and I didn't. I you know, you think somehow you're smarter or better. You didn't choose your brain. You didn't choose your parents. You didn't choose the world, the city in which you were born. You didn't choose any of it. You got lucky, so for you to think

you're better than anyone. If you were that woman at Starbucks and born into her life with her brain and her parents, you would be in the same position and you'd be getting yelled at by someone like you. So I have empathy for even you aun't crazy, can't contain your anger, and you I have empathy for you. You didn't choose your insane brain that thinks you're better than people.

And you didn't choose to be a person with a brain that is so closed off to the idea that you you are the same as everyone, and that you're just lucky that you don't have to maybe take a job that you wouldn't want to take, or that you're not a drug addict or you're not homeless. You're lucky. You're not better, you're not smarter, and you might be smarter,

but you're lucky that you're smarter. You're lucky you were born with a brain that has the ability to, but maybe not have a learning disability in school, study harder and like, but anyone who thinks they're better than homeless people or oh if I was in that, I wouldn't do that. Yes, you would. You do everything they did if you had the same brain as them. You just got lucky with yours. Bit right, crazy? Are you watching? Crazy? I bet she's still like, I don't, you can't and

this will so much drama in your family. This will get back to crazy. No they no, no, no, it won't. They could not support me. No, I'm just kidding. That's what you think she'll think when she thinks I'm talking about her all have to do it is like, no, I was talking about this one. She's like, she's the bad one, right, Like, yeah, when you say that, you're gonna be like even when I said that, it was

talking about someone else. Okay, but it's funny. Even when you think your family is tapped out and have no interest in your life. The times where you think you're going to be doing something and no one will hear it, and you go, they don't even listen to They don't care about anything I do. They'll hear that one that will get back to them. So always be aware because I always get that in my head of like I can say this, I know they don't listen to this. Yes, no,

I don't even use their name. No one will know it's them to tell them. It gets back to them because someone use it and then goes, I heard this, and then someone tells someone yes maybe and crazy. You can go see Bobby open for you on the Good Girl tour? Oh yeah, would she ever support your comedy tour? She does. She has come out to see me before she has she has come out to see me. She's not she's a good person. But yeah, you're right, Yeah,

she's not the worst person. She just like there are moments where you see her be like, I'm like, but you can't talk off the ledge. But if she told me something, I'd be like, you know, I guess I could try to understand that or whatever. But you tell her something, she's like, no, that's how that's like how that the whole side of the family is like, they can all watch. I love doing comedy because there's people

have to shut the funk up. They get kicked out and they're like, please don't talk about me on stage, and I'm like, well, didn't be different. It's funny people like that that don't want to be told what's what. They're the ones that like walk out of shows or they don't know that's the best place for them because they just have to shut their sold out a show at Helium and she I told her get ticket, it's gonna sell out, and she goes, okay, I'll get him.

It sold out and she called up and she's like, I kept telling him I'm your aunt, and they didn't care. They don't care at all. Yeah, I'm just a name on their paper. Oh my god. How times have you walked into your own show and been like, excuse me, sir, you can't just walk and you go my faces on the things. It happens all the time. I remember a very famous comedian that people know that I don't care for. She once walked into a show that had her name

on the poster. It was like an improv or something, and the guy was like excuse me, man, and she goes, um, sorry, look at the fucking post and she got so mad and she had like had him fired. Anytime anyone does recognize me, I walk into theater or sometimes backstage and people are like, man, you can't come back, and I'm like, oh, I'm on sorry, and this is my face. I know I look like faces of method. When for Dave Chappelle

at the pageant, this was years ago. I was walking back and afterwards they were like, if you want, you can go say hi to him, and I guess his dude. There was a bouncer at the door that I walked in. I was like, hey day and he's like, hey, what are you doing? I go I was just on stage like I was on the show, and that's that's what I'm saying. No, no, no, And I could not have cared anymore at all. You don't take it personally. Was Dave nice to you? Unbelievably nice, nice guy. He was

very very nice to me. Like I walked in the room and he's he remembered me, and he was like he came over and he was like, how's it going, man? Were you doing this hair? Because he was thought maybe you were traditioning, he might not have been as nice, like he's nice to trans people. Yeah he has. That's why I say, I'll be like I was like I like Chappelle and they're like, I'm like, I I like his stand up, you know what I mean, Like like, yeah,

there's certain things that I disagree with. That thing disagree with people. For store, if you come to my show, which is the Good Girl Tours happening now, I'm in Memphis this Friday, please, I just put out a video on my Instagram about my Memphis show. It's the ticket sales are low as hell and so um and I'm not afraid to admit that. I'm it's people are like, you're gonna admit that, and I'm like, yeah, I don't care that I'm not selling well and members. I mean,

I would like to sell better. I'm selling well literally everywhere else. So it's not it's not like an ego thing. I can admit, Hey, we need to get more people because people don't know people would come out. They just don't know out. The marketing hasn't been good enough. So I released a song today about Memphis on Instagram, trying to get my ticket sales up. So Memphis is the one I'm really wanting you to go to. If you live around there, if you know anyone there, please come

out to the show. It's gonna be very special because it might be just twenty people and then and a very intimate evening. And then also, um, we have next week in Bobby jay Cox will be sorry opening for me in Waterloo, New York on Thursday. Next Thursday, and then on Friday, I will be in Hershey, Pennsylvania, and Saturday I will be in Atlantic City and we will be doing those three dates together along with Anna Marina

on the Good Girl tour. So those are all dates you can check out now and um and then I'm doing New Year's even St. Louis as Massy and that's going to be good too. At the city people. Have you performed there, No, I've never even been there. I did a guest spot opening for Brian Reagan there and it was the first time where you were like I came out and even like even the pageants big, but you come out there and you're like wow, like it's it's it's just beautiful. It's just beautiful inside and out.

It is beautiful. The courthouse for the parade, and I'm like Greek courts where Nike's kind of ye, it's huge, So it's Someone the other day was like, I looked up your tickets. They're expensive, and I was like, I know, I'm sorry, Like I'm in bear, I'm not like Taylor Swift now, but how many years did you go without making that much money? I remember when I when we did Kansas City, you would walk from the hotel across

like two parking lots to the show. You're like with all those times, you know what I'm saying, Like you would do to walk a couple of parking lots, That's what I'm saying. But I'm like, I feel like now it's like you you do all that work, so now it's like you get to like the reason tickets are so much is because fucking ticket Master, you guys and all the other everyone that has to be paid, the guys working the lights, the guys working the sound. Like,

Like it's not just me I'm leaving. I'm not walking away with as much as you think I am. At the end of the day, I have openers, I have eight dens, I have managers, Like you really get to the nitty gritty of it. And that's why I have to work so much, is because it seems like there and I'm not complaining my I'm very uh fortunate and grateful for the money that I make. But um, you

spend a lot of money to make it. I mean I've told people before, a publicist that you hire, it's like six thousand dollars a month now and then people to do your social media, um, to run your social media and make clips for you and stuff that can run you, you know, three or four grand a month easy. I'm gonna become a publicists and it's it's it's a flat rate too. So if you want a publicist, it's going to be like I think it's like used to be three back in like two thousand thirteen. I think

it's six now five or six. And it is. Brad Pitt pays five thousand, you pay five thousand. Any at any level, it's a flat it's the only it's the only thing I know of that is a flat rate across the board. Yeah, that's wild. I had no there's it's the land. But look at the stiff one. That's a huge place. They gotta heat that place and keep the lights. They gotta heat it except my shows. Bring your park up because ticket sales we're going to chop off some dollars and it's gonna be a freezing But yeah,

so Memphis. But anyway, UM, my twenty year reunion was so freaking fun and um and it was just there wasn't anyone. I would say that. I was like, oh my god, I had no enemies in high school. Really it's more like, did you have you didn't have bullies, or you don't have anyone who's like mean to you or anything like. I mean, it was the fourth grade I had and then that kind of like went away as soon as I got my own friends, and I

never had bullies after that. I was very lucky. Um, but I did have people that I was super jealous of, and like, there was one girl I think that I had talked about on my Instagram when I was living during COVID at home in St. Louis and I my yearbooks in one night, I was just going through them on my Instagram stories and there was one girl. I was like, I wanted to be her. Everyone wanted to be her. She was the most popular girl. She's so hot and it got through the grape vine to me,

like through texting that was like she's fucking pissed. Take her off your instagrams or I'm like, I didn't say anything back. I just said she was hot and we all wanted to be her. And look how she was kind of scared if she showed up. No, thank god, I thought I saw her and I like freaked out, and I was like, why am I scared? I didn't

do anything wrong. I took it down. She didn't like it, so it wasn't like but I felt really scared that she was like mad at me, and I felt like, I know, I know that I've said so much about popular kids over the years in different things, and I know the way this works where it's like the one thing you've said about someone will get back to them.

And I've been at this for twenty years, so I have said I probably name dropped all of those people at times, either saying they were so hot or like I hated them, secretly wanted to be them, wanted to liked that, you know, whatever it was. Guys like had crushes on them. So every single person I knew, I just heard some podcast clip where I've said their name

or their friends name or something. So there was that kind of It was funny because like the popular kids were still kind of hanging with each other and they were still clicks in at Hacienda Mexican restaurant on Manchester Road, UM near rock Hill, and it was but it was weird because I felt like this is gonna come back to bite me. But I guess I don't have another reunion for another five years or something. So I will

say that that there was certain people. Everyone everyone, sorry, everyone knew that I am a person that's on TV now. I think, so it would be hard in the twenty years, eighteen years yeah Massinger, Massinger, Yeah, it are already aired to yes, So that was like, well, there was just

like so I'm sounding already. I'm like picturing people rolling their eyes and be saying this, but there's just no a you don't know someone from your high school that has been negative in the rows, like so many things from your saying like you might not have known me in high school. And if I showed up and I just was like, you know, a normal lady that had a normal job, you might go, oh, I don't remember you from high school, but you've since jogged you remember,

and been like, that's Nikkila. She was in my graduating class. There's just no way that they don't know that. And I will say, and they even knew me in high school. I mean these people and they just didn't want to look at me. And I kept trying to make you know, you make eye contact across room and then you wave and then you you cross the room to talk to each other. That's kind of how it goes instead of just like going up to each other. So I would try to make eye contact and I was getting nothing

from a group of people. And I kept saying to my friend Taylor, who went with me, I'm like, it's so weird, Like the popular kids are kind of like acting like like I keep trying to make eye contact with them, and it's like they haven't even looked at me once, and it's not like how weird it. But then I realized it's because they are trying to be cool.

They're trying to act like they don't care, which I probably would have done too, Like I want to either they want to make me feel comfortable, like I don't need to make a big deal of it, or she already thinks she's such a big deal, So I'm not going to give her anything because she thinks she's such a fucking hot shit even though I didn't at all. But they don't know that, and maybe I do, and maybe I'm just subconsciously I do think I'm hot. I

don't know, but I just could tell that. Like, but I I knew what it was like to see anyone else and they'd be like hey and like make I could like it was happening all over the place. But there was a certain popular crew. I only didn't talk to two people there the whole night and didn't talk to them at all or even like wave across the room. Really that I that I know knew me and knew me. There were some people I didn't talk to you because

I just didn't know them at all. Um, there are only two people, and I swear to god they like the person. The guy would be like walking towards me, like like towards a group that I was with, and then see me and then just like turn around on a dime. And I was like, this person has not changed in seventh grade. He still has the same energy as he did in seventh When I like he hasn't. It hadn't changed at all. And then there were other

people that were like so nice and so cool. There's you know a couple of people that are so hot. It's so funny because you still get like nervous around the same guys. Like it never leaves you. High school is always kind of you leave you. That's what I've said growing up. I'm always like, I thought when you were done with high school was done, but it always kind of keeps coming back, whether it's clicks or everything.

High school. Like if we were going through my yearbook the other day and my buddy was like, do you remember, I was like, how could you forget? Like, yeah, we all still remember the cute people or all that stuff. I still remember too, and some of them are looking real good. Still go with you. I wish he would have gone with me. It would have been nice to have that handsome gent on my arm um. Yeah, I

would have loved for him to be there. But Taylor was my date and she was she was in the grade above me, so it was kind of fun to have her there. I'm glad someone went with me. I would have gone alone, but Taylor came through and came home from her trip early to go with me, and ye know, these people that don't come up to you, maybe they feel insecure of the Yeah, it's not that's who I care. Too cool, I think give them the

benefit because you don't put off that vibe. I've never seen you in a room put off that vibe where you're like, I'm too cool ever since. Truly. Yeah, well that's very nice of you. But I think that sometimes I can even think, even me saying this, I'm I think those people thought they were too cool when my mom's like, maybe they were insecure. I hadn't even considered that,

and they might think the same about me. She thinks she's really cool even though I'm insecure, or like I was in the corner in a booth and they were probably like, she's over there just being like come to me, but I'm really like, I just want to pound this impossible into my head. I think you're having empathy, But I do think sometimes there are people that don't change, and sometimes if you remember them from high school and if they're putting off that same vibe, sometimes maybe they're

just trying to be too cool. But I think also maybe they are kid. Yeah they were you know, there was kidness going on a little bit from just a couple of people that were like kid but then there were Um it was nice. I was so I was really mad that so many people didn't come. That shut up. So it was a good turnout, but it wasn't a great turnout, and it was graduating everyone. And I'm not joking you. Everyone has three kids. Everyone three children. I'm

not joking you. You either have no children, which was maybe me. Like there was one other person, pH Balance, shout out to you. His name is Paul Holleran, but we called him pH Balance back in high school. pH Balance and his wife they have no kids. Um, I have no kids. Um. I think Rob Eiselhardt has no kids. But everyone else not one kid, not two kids, three kids. And it's like and they all said the same thing, all of them a third child. I have so much sympathy.

I was like, I think you should board planes before veterans like you got and they do. They do, yeah, exactly, like but no people think people have two and they're like, oh my god, I want another one of these don't have. Then their life changes because the third child adds a new dimension. It's like you can't because you can't focus on the other two that are beating each other up. Because and you got to buy a bigger car because yeah you need more, but you can't go to restaurants

and then your car getting stolen. I have to wait talking about this now, it's crazy. Well, I saw this weekend on Thanksgiving, we spent speaking of like family, I spent it with my sister brother in law and their three kids and then my parents. Right after the parade, which ended at eleven, I went over to my parents house at noon and then all the kids were over there and we were there from noon until ten o'clock at night, so ten o hours. Did not well that I left at ten I guess they did. They did

not take naps. So this is ten hours of three kids. You know, a bait for us one poppies three. Arlow is four or five? Four? He's five? Five okay, um news to me, and uh he's been five for a while since April. But it was chaos. It was and there there my mom, Dad, me, Lauren, and Matt and there are five people to take care of these three kids. And it was still like so overwhelming it never ends. My mom gave arlow a gun. It was an so it came with a dinosaur. It's a gun. You should

It's like a big orange gun. But it looks like it's a little pistol. It looks like a little pistol, but it's it's it's substantial. It's the size of a pistol and it goes like it has a sound effect. Big mistake. He was shooting me like in the table constantly, like putting out to my temple and just being like you're dead. It was so he is gone, the gun is gone. We did a buyback program, you know. Um it was. It was a little bit like we kept we kept telling him like, I'm never that side of

him with the gun. So I was like, why did I When you're a little boy with a gun, you can't. It's like when you shoot each other over it. Yeah, he wants to stay. Blood stabbing, all these things are coming out. Oh my god, he draws pictures. We were drawing together and all he draws his knives and then people with exes for eyes. He's five and he's and he's blood. There's a lot of blood, a lot of blood,

a lot of reds. Yeah. I never did that that's like some movie that's not some old Damien omen that's crazy. It's not like a really like dark child. Like he's not like a kid that he's like always lighthearted about it. He's like and then there's blood, and then they all diet and then they're debt like he's like about it's not like he doesn't understand what it all means. I

don't know where it can come. He doesn't. But at the end of the night, so we get to Thanksgiving dinner and by the way, he like, my mom sets the table and like puts out the food and he's like, this is all disgusting to me, Like, what do you say? My mom goes, I just heard my mom goes, well that hurts my feelings are Oh my god. It's so cute when kids are like that, when they're like dark. Yeah, I'm like, that's fine. I don't give that little girl

that was like because I'm evil. No, oh, that one too. But there's this little girl she's like and she's sitting there. She goes, what did you say? She goes kill me? She goes, what she just kill me? Like that movie And you're like what. But it's just like funny because they they're like practicing talk and they don't even know what they're saying. They're like they're just coloring. They're doing all that. We laugh and then they keep doing it

and I can't stop black. He's drawn and I keep going intete a Christmas tree and he's like, no, it's a knife. He keeps drawing these things that the knives get bigger so they look like Christmas trees and they have to handle at the bottom. And I was like, that's got to be interesting. Was like, no, there's blood at the top of it. But he um. So then we're going around the table playing like as we're eating Thanksgiving, like not before we ate, but after as we're like eating,

like what are you thankful for? We all go around and they gets to Arlow and he said, and I wrote it down in my phone. He said, I'm thankful for dead persons in jail. And then he goes and Mommy, but he's thankful for dead persons in jail, which doesn't make any sense, but he and that's saying yeah and soon to be what's her name? Just um, yeah, So Thanksgiving. But I did write Chris on Thanksgiving and I said, I know that I don't want kids. I just I don't.

We haven't had to have us. There's not a single conversation that's been able to take place that's going anywhere past I'm the doctory stage. Yeah, I'm not playing to that. I literally like, I love I would wish my brother. I'm like, you have I'll be an uncle like that will be tight, Like don't you love being an aunt? Like I feel like that's yeah, But you know what I'm saying, I don't. I just it's so stressful. But it's stressful if you're not, I'm gonna turn into aunt crazy.

I Nikki comes over and oh my god, I go, Mom, why would you want this for me? Because my mom's always like, just freeze your eggs? And I go, why would you want this for me? Why would you want me to even put this on? Like? Because I know that they bring a lot of joy. I mean, they bring so much joy to my life and to my sisters, and it's all going to pay off when they become like tiny adults and they start like being able to

take care of themselves. It all pays off. But I do not want to give away ten years of my life. And I know that and talking to well ten years of like when it's really seen. I know, but you're not because you throw college in there. Honestly, in the world we live in now, it's like thirty three, Like I feel like, you know everyone, Do you think that I should have kids? Do you think based on what I think that maybe if you froze your eggs, I mean maybe you would consider it later? Or you Why

would I want that later? Why do you think? Do you think if you get to a place where I'm gonna want it, well, you may marry someone who wants children desperately. Nikki, You're not gonna like this. But what about like last week or the week before, you were talking about what a great time you had in Santa Barbara with your mom and going to the hotel having your parents there from the mass singer, all those experiences that you have with your parents more than like adult age.

What about that? Forget about like the you know, yeah, if I could have an adult child, I would. I don't. I'm not kidding you. If I could skip the childhood and we could start at ten, which I know you could, but like, it's not the same adopting a ten year old.

You're not going to get the same bond that you have if you have them from so I'm sacrificing all those things that are good later on because I don't want to give up the first ten years, Like if I could get a ten I think that's the age that I start to like really think kids are cool. It's like ten and all my friends who have kids, they're like, it's so good. Ll it like the I can't even are you kidding here right now? It's insane. That's insane, you know what I mean. So I get

that there's both sides. I bet it is beautiful, but everyone was just at the reunion to avoid being with their kids. Most of them were like I didn't want to come, but it was excused to get out of the house. You are Laura never complains, never ever complain it matter, never complain. They're very chill, but they just don't.

I would complain all the time because I always say to her, like, I know, this is what you signed up because she kind of goes, this is you know, I'm not going to complain about what I signed up for. I'm not gonna be one of those moms. But you're allowed to like, it's not exactly what you signed up for. You didn't know it was going to be this hard, But I I just think you probably feel like you wouldn't have that patience in you. I just know. I just really like my life. I like being able to

do what I want to do. And maybe it's selfish, but I really I'm not. I'm already feel very stunted in terms of like the learn you know, learning that I like to play guitar, and like I like to sing, and that I like, you know, I have so much more I want to accomplish in life, and kids take you out for many years where you can't get stuff done, and I know that there are people that can't. I know I wouldn't. I don't have enough bandwidth to get it all done and feeling guilty. And I like napping.

I like, you know, I like watching VP all day. I like I like doing nothing. I like I like doing nothing, and I just it's selfish because I do know I am gonna miss out when you guys are gone. If when my parents are gone, that's when you go. I wish I had something else, but I'm gonna get birds. And I think that I really and I know that sounds, but birds, you can't. We're going to be replaced by birds.

Well birds, yeah, but I like parrots and stuff like bird parrots, and I really want them, and I just feel like I'm wasting my life not having them, like I'm going to at some point go every day that you had no bird in your life was a waste of your life because it's like the happiest that it can make me. And so I feel like with I can't do kids and birds are a huge responsibility also something that takes a lot of time and a lot

of like effort years long. M Yeah, but you can leave and you can go for my Santa Barbara trip with my birds. Someday I'll get the same thing out of that and they'll come. I'll watch them on the mask square would have in Santa Barbara. There you go. Would you go on stage with like it on your shoulder, like like you distracting? But I think people could get

over it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I think I would have it because I brought Marian on stage before my dogs, and people at first are like, you gotta make jokes about it, but then they just get relaxed because the dogs just like and it's just something because when you're on stage talking for so long, you want to give people something to look at because they get kind of bored. There's not a lot to look at.

It's just someone, knowlogizing on stage. You want. So I like to wear like outfits where people can kind of like dissect the outfit because I know that they're going to tune me out at some point, you know. So a bird on my shoulder, Hell yeah, I bring word on stage. We'll take a quick break and get right back to the show. Right, we're back. Yeah. So the reunion was great, and um, what else happened? And I decided I don't want kids because everyone has three kids

and everyone seemed to be burdened by that. And they all said that, like the third kid was a mistake. It's like a mistake and like we shouldn't have done the same mistake of like it didn't mean we didn't mean for this to happen. And I go, have you never heard of Marshman? But I guess sorry, aunt, crazy people can't Yeah, that thing that you can do, but people just go people do that all the time. They go, they we didn't want her, but they were it was

a mistake, and I go, are we living that? It's pretty interesting and I'm going to just have to I guess I have to keep this one. I sometimes just go like, do you not know? Both don't think like that, but they don't know. I mean, I like, this is look at my other two beauties. I have a lot of friends who are approach choice and are still like, I would never ever do that. And I gotta say, I don't think it would be a big issue for me to do. It's not something I want to do.

I've never had to do it, thank god, um, but I don't think it would be something for me that I would And I don't know because I think a lot of people maybe do have that done and then they go, that was way more of a big deal

to me than I thought it was. And I'm someone who like, I mean, I get sad when I pull a booker out of my nose because I'm like, this was a part of me, or like I lose a piece of hair and I'm like this was on my head for like I don't know, I just like it's a part of it now that I want to keep it.

But like I get sad, like a scab like the other day I shaved it, like I have this like scalpel that I cut down my house is on my feet with and even that that, I was like looking at this couse and I was like, oh my god, this has been through so much with me, Like this is this was on my foot when I sang the national anthem. This was my foot when I did the messing, or this was on my foot, like this was building up. This is like been through a lot. And I got sad.

We should hang those on the whimsical what was that we should hang them on the wall behind you. I'm not gonna tell you what I do. Fingernails are like I kind of just like get those out of there. But there is a part of me that I yeah, there, it's a little there's just like I worked my body worked to make that and now I'm just tossing it away. So there is something of that. But for whatever reason, I'm not when you blow your nose, oh no, I'm not sad about that. And I was joking about the booking.

I don't about books. Teeth. I missed my teeth. I really wish the doctor wouldn't take an eight out of my fucking face. Because now when I smile a wide, I have big gaps here. I'm thinking about getting my smile widened. He took what teeth? It was a fad back in St. Louis in the nineties where they took out too many teeth. And there's this other guy that has it to Louis House. He's a very famous influencer. Lewis Houses, also from St. Louis, and he had the

same thing. He just recently had to get veneers. I only go farther back than mine. I have less teeth and Andrew. And Andrew has no teeth do you have? I think I have like one teeth or something like. It's like a really low number. But but I've just made up a number. But they're usually even my teeth be able to drink in their number. Um. So yeah, but anyway, Um, when do we get to talk about the Mouse Singer? Yeah, let's talk about it, the Mass Singer.

I was on that show. Everyone. I watched it last night. I watched all the episodes. I watched all. I loved the you talking about Bob Saget and break. That was so sincere and so sweet. That was really beautiful. I thought it was really nice, but there was that what

was that? No one but a total giveaway, like if anyone had their doubts, And I mean it was just like they kept doing things that I'm like, and then they wouldn't let me sing a Taylor Swift song because they're like, that'll be too I don't even know why they didn't let me do a Taylor Swift song. I fought for it everyone like, so you couldn't. I felt like I betrayed myself not singing like they've done them

before on the show. And I tried to get them to do Babe By like other songs that she's written for other artists, so it wouldn't have to be we don't have to pay her publisher or whatever whatever it was, and they still wouldn't let me do those songs like better Man. I tried to get to do that song. I tried to do Babe, I tried to do um just any anything. I was like, I will do that Midnight Rain song that's like she wanted, like it's not

either her voice, like I would have done anything. It was before Midnights came out, so I taped it in July August, so it was before my soul surgery. Um. It was the reason I got my surgery. So you know I talked about getting my vocal cords surgery and how the person who talked me into doing it was my vocal teacher, and I knew that. You guys assumed that was probably the one that I've been going to before, but you didn't know it was a new one that

I met on the show. UM, So I lied by omission, but it didn't quite lie because it was my vocal teacher who said I should get it, and it was that's how it happened. But on the Best Singer, I discovered that I had hemorrhaging on my chords, and so I sang with broken chords. UM, but it still did pretty good. But I had to take every song down like eighteen octaves, but it still worked. And then um, and then the show ended. But it was some questions

that came through. Where did I get to keep the costume? No, I don't know why, but they didn't let me keep any part of it. I did keep the bra from it. My boots. My boobs were also massed on the shows. They were I literally the I should show you the bra, it isn't I felt the other day it's an inch thick of batting and because it's yeah, yeah, I wear it around Arlowe case he gets stabby um and then um how heavy was But it was so heavy? It

was the heavy. The the guy who was like operating because there was like lights inside the mask and they had to like rig it every single time I put it on. The guy that made it and was like an engineer on the costumes said that my mask was the heaviest mass that he had dealt with. So I don't know how long he had been in the show, but he was like, this is by far the heaviest mask. It was so heavy it was probably I'm guessing twelve pounds off pounds on like that. And then the actual snowflake,

which was a backpack that I wore. It had like these little prongs coming off it and then it would latch on like a backpack over my shoulders. That was at least thirty five pounds at least, and the wingspan of that was beyond my own wingspan, so it was like I was constantly bumping into things. And also inside my mask, I couldn't see anything. It was all it was really hard to see. I kind of just had to go buy lights, like bright lights and like you

couldn't see through the eye. Not really no, because sometimes they would have the lyrics up on the thing, and I go, there's that's worthless to There's no way I could ever say, God, you didn't even have backup lyrics up there. No, And that's why I messed up some of the lyrics. So you can definitely hear I messed up some of the lyrics. But but the best part about the mask is that first of all, no one knows it's you, and so you don't have to have this like, oh my god, I feel so stupid singing,

like people are gonna judge me. That's all gone. They're so it's so fun to be in, like you can be anyone you want to be. If it was so cool to just be singing and not feel like how your look or anything, I didn't have makeup on TV, I would like, you know, when I was unmasked, they knew that when you get unmasked behind the scenes, uh information here, you get unmasked, they know you're eliminated, and

then they take you back. They whisk. It makes it look like it doesn't It just is all in one swoop, or it's like take it off, so they shout take it off, take it and then you act like you're struggling with it, and then they usher you backstage and then you get hair and makeup, and then they put you back out there and they go take it off. And then you take it off and you have full hair and makeup. Before that, you were like a sweaty mess.

And I'm in the little skull cap to protect my hair from all the stuff inside, and um, and I have a big into my forehead from part of the thing like it was. It was a big But the coolest part about the costume was that inside you're like it's almost like, um, it felt like I'm in a cryogenic chamber or something, or it felt like I it felt like when you meditate and you're like looking for the yourself, like who is there a person inside you

that's operating things? Are you just like consciousness or whatever? I don't know it got me any, but it felt like I was something inside. It felt like the thing that is the illusion that where you're just like you just get to focus on century deprivation. Yeah, I was alone in there, so I could sing as if I was alone and when you don't have but usually we

have that all the time. You can always kind of pretend to be that where it's like you're alone in you and we all we all have that illusion that we're inside ourselves like controlling things, when really there's no free will and you can't control anything and it's kind of all just happening and you don't. It's hard to

figure that out, but it's true. But we all have that illusion of where like operating our hands and our thoughts and our things, but you actually have no But this is the first time I felt like I really was and I could be alone in there and just like I was kind of like singing in the shower or I was underneath my covers or something like you were alone with yourself, so I could kind of talk to myself and be like like I was. It felt very lonely in there, but in like a good way.

Her Yes, yes, And you sang with a real microphone, like you put it up to your mouth. You weren't like miked inside it, um, which I was surprised by. But don't they have a cover on your mouth? Yeah? It was around my chin. Oh, that's as far as it goes, ye would mind kept slipping off because I would open my mouth too wide and then they would be like cover it up because they couldn't. They didn't want to tell your skin tone, like they don't want

to see anything. So when you're backstage at the show. My parents came to the show and if the pictures, we're all wearing these hoodies that say don't talk to me, which is one that they put you in. So when I first got to the mess singer, I should pull up on the lot and in the my you know, black are and this guy opens cracks open the door and it's like, hey, Snowstorm, and they called me Snowstorm. There was no Nikki. No one ever calls you Nikki

within the show except from the first meeting. They go him, Nikki, we're picking out your character and then you're that. They presented it to me and I was like, I love it. Like it was like if you don't like it, it's fine. I was like, I thought they were gonna pick like, you know, the shaved beaver or something. I thought they were going to do some kind of like gross. Stokes's gonna be something like gross, you know, the best it was like, I got to be a princess, Yeah, a

snow princess, And so I was. I did though from the very get go, it was like it had a skirt with it. It had this big heavy blouse thing and had this long, like flowy skirt, and I was like, let's do total spandex and just the head and then the snow, like we don't need. Let's like make it pretty sexy, like, let's make her like because I because I got to lean into that, because I got to

do what every want. And then I was like, let's pick out a huge braw that makes it look like I have Dolly bo yeah, because I don't want anyone to be able to like, Yeah, so I gained twenty pounds really throw people off. No, I didn't do that, but I didn't actually do that. But I wasn't to throw people off. It just was naturally happened that way.

But um and um. So when we get to the studio, this guy greets you and he throws you in a duffel bag and he's like, so put on all these things, and you're I'm in the car about it's a hundred degrees outside and I have to put on sweatpants and then socks, and then put on my shoes and make sure all my skins covered up. This long sweatshirt that says, don't talk to me, zip it up, put the hood over my head, pull my hair back, put on this

gigantic visor that covers my entire face. Yeah, daft punk style, and then you walk out. And then you walk around the lot and there's only two people. There's like three people in the show who know it's you, and the rest of the people. You know, there's hundreds of people working on the show, and you're just walking by and everyone's just like and it says, don't talk to me, because no one can talk. You can't. You can't. They don't want to know your voice. They don't want anyone

because it's so top secret. So there's only about besides executives. There's only three people that you really work with, and you just get shuttled from one place to the next, and you have to get dressed. So I would for my voice, listen, I could take it off and relaxed, and then I'd have to put it back on so I could go to the bathroom. Then I have to take it off. So it really is an isolating show where you don't get to tell anyone you're doing it.

I mean I told Noah and Andrew because it was just you know, conflicting with schedules, and I knew that they would keep it a secret. And then I told my parents and my boyfriend. But beyond that, like no one like the metaverse. It's like literally like you get to be in a world where people are like, I don't know, that's wild. It's the biggest show I've ever been on, arguably the biggest platform that I've ever been on, and I don't get to I didn't get to talk

about it until my face came out. It's kind of nice. Well, usually we brag about everything before. My parents were just like, we can't tell anyone. I'm like, you can tell people that it's a show you like to watch and that this season is particularly it was. There was the hardest, and then I was getting grief, like you didn't tell me Nikki was on the I'm like, we signed n

d ant say anything. What happened, What happens if you did, if you be so, if they found out, if they I suppose, I think it's such extremes to keep it quiet. And a secret. We even got dressed in the black. Yeah. My parents even got don't talk to me hoodies and my dad was like, they got to keep it. My day goes, I don't want this makes me anti social. I'm like, I'll keep it. I want to wear them on on planes. It is a kind of aggressive, but it's um. But you couldn't. I couldn't wear that after

the show. I wanted to wear it after the show because I was still I was I had to get vocal court surgery, and I was like, this is perfect, but they were like, no, that's associated with some people know that's the show. So um. But a lot of besties wrote to me being like, I know your snowstorm. You're great, congratulations. Um. But I could not. I couldn't right back to it. I couldn't confirm it. I couldn't deny it. I couldn't do any I would just go to a couple of people. I'd go, oh, I'd have

to check it out. I'll see because that wasn't a lie. I did have to check it all right. I'd say I haven't seen it yet because I hadn't seen it. Doesn't feel that people knew people knew there was one person. I believe it was Karen Sanchez. Karen knew she's the bestie.

They lived in Des Moines. She knew from the joke that they played on the preview where I was like, I don't want to stand too close to you, Nick, because I don't want to get Pregno, it was you from that message like, oh my god, Nikki is on the mass singer and they cited that joke as the proof. Yes, that's so. That means so much to me that, like, you know, it was nice. Though I was watching the show and this happens to me often. I totally dumped everything I did on that show out of my brain

as soon as it happened. Like I didn't remember any of the jokes I made. I don't remember anything I said, like I remember the songs I sang, but any of the interactions, Like none of it was planned, Like I didn't plan on saying that to Nick. I didn't plan, Like it was just you know, I was just rolling

with it. But then when I was watching it back, every single time there would be I would go, oh my god, I wish I would have made this joke, And then I would make it and I was like, Oh, it's so funny, Like I am the same person I am there, like any joke, like they're just yeah every single time when you know, Jenny goes, oh one of the clues as a doormat and I was like, oh, that's because because I get treated like that in relationship

a lot or whatever. I thought of that, and I go, oh, you should have said that, and then I said it. I was like, oh, I forgot I even said that. So it's nice that I stood up to my own you know, potential. Do you think I thought it was funny? Final thought? Do I think Nick Cannon thought it was funny that I kept making fun of all of his babies. I don't think that he like didn't think it was funny.

I think he was just like he comedian jokes. Um, yes, he is a yeah comedian with like quotes right it, but yeah he does like he does comedy like wilding and out he started out. I mean he's he's he's great. I mean he's a talented guy. Um. I don't necessarily agree with like making as many kids as possible with as many different mothers, and I know people are like, he's gonna be a good dad. But it's like he

can't be in all of those places. And you can give the money, but he's not going to be giving himself. Does he have I think it's fifteen at this point. Oh my god, I heard joking when because he loves to make love to a woman naturally, Yeah, because everyone everyone feels that way about it. Feel better, just wear a condom. Well no, now, now it's become like a numbers thing. I made that joke when he had only eleven kids and since then fifteen. I'm not kidding you.

It was eleven or twelve when that happened, when the show happened, and he said four since the summer, yeah, before on the weapon you know. Now there's a fifteenth on the way I think is the last number. Yeah, he's that guy is a canon. That's crazy. That's crazy, Bobby. Where can people find your special? Your comedy special? You find it. It's free on YouTube under Helium Studios. It's called Fast Food Fireworks. Please check it out. Why is it called fast food Fireworks because of one of the

jokes in there. I talk about Fast food Fireworks is like whenever you are done eating your food in bed, which is my favorite place to eat and all the crumbs and trash and catch up packets or on your fling them into the ceiling fan and they go around. It's just fun. And I like the literation. And because I do a joke about like being called like uh like a lady firefight or whatever, and this guy's like, just call it lady firefighter, and I was like, I

don't think that that sounds good. And picking a title for something I don't even have firefight, yeah, And I did that, and I was like, but then I started thinking of titles and like even when I think of jokes, like, it doesn't have like an official title. So ill a sudden, like what do you want your special to be? Called? Them? Like?

I don't you know what I mean? Like, so there's so many little things that when you start comedy, you're like, I just want to be funny, and then all the other things you're like, I don't know, it's not it's just like it's so hard, it's so hard to pick. I'm famous just talking about I just want to name my next special, like whatever I would name like a child, you know, like like whatever I would have named my baby, because I do I you know, everyone has three kids.

But I have three specials, you know, hour long specials, And I was like, oh, that's kind of like the same thing. It's about as much work goes into making them, about nine months of just kind of walking around like I'm like being in pain, yeah, being concomfortable and starting. Yeah, clothes aren't fitting. Yeah you have to buy shopping. Yeah

that's that's it. You get fucked um. But so you have a special out um you also yeah, you and I played guitar during the pandemic once we we both are just like picking up trying to be like you. So you sing and you can do open mics, right, Yeah, I've done a couple open mic music open mics. Yeah yeah, and it makes me so like the last time I did it on my leg it was like my first time doing stand up, Like my leg was shaking and

I have I've been that nervous and forever. It was so I like it, though, Like I hate when people are like I just want to do stand up and I'm like, then do it and they like it makes me to I'm like, just show yourself that you can do it, like that's you do so much. I can't. I don't even have when people say they're they're nervous. Yeah, when they say that they're nervous, Look, I just can't

do it. I'm like, we'll just try, just go up and try, and like I just couldn't get over my nerves, and I go, you could if you just have to do it. But some people are like, just set the date. Yeah, and then you can always bail and you'll feel bad or whatever, but at least setting the date. That's always been my secret to overcoming everything. I used to have terrible stage right, but I just signed up for a

play that I could not get out of. I didn't even know you could get out of things back in seventh grade when I signed up for you know, you could bail on everything in life. So it felt like I just have to do this. And so it's like and you really, nerves have never killed anyone, and I'm not going to die. It could, Yeah, your heart, it's not going to like that, not from doing You're not up. Why are you having sex? Why do you go for a run? Like it's the same amount of I almost

had a heart attack when I did it. When when you did stand up, yeah, my mom did stand up. I'm so mad. I didn't get to see that. I was really nervous, but I don't even remember like doing it. It's that kind of makes out. Yeah, but I got through it. Now. I just wanted to do something out of my comfort zone. Yes, and I think it really did help you a lot overcome so much stuff. Now you do this question. Used to be like, so nervous about doing the podcast or being on team. Not nervous anymore,

not nervous at all. I probably should be nervous. I mean, yeah, I wanted you to get some of those nerves back a bit. No. I love that you're not nervous anymore. I just it's nerves are you know. You can't help them, but they do go away. People have nerves about stuff out there, Like you know, I always think about sex. I'm always like, I was so nervous to have sex. So was everyone wasn't everyone nervous? And then you have it and then you're like, I mean, my mom doesn't.

You probably never got used to it, but carefully that much. But you eventually are just like, oh, this is the easiest thing to do in the world. Like anything is going to be difficult at first, but it's always rewarding. Though too. Yes, I do. I write my own songs. I went through a breakup. And it's weird how much like pours out of you because people are like, do you write funny songs? And I'm like, none of them like no, Like all of them are like depressing or sad.

But it's fun. It's like another side of me, Like I get to be funny on stage and then writing music, and we should. I would love to sit down and look at you can look at my juvenile songs and be like these are terrible, and but at least it will get it'll give us both confidence to like try it more. Because here's what I'm bad about. I can't sing and play guitar like I try, like I'm gonna that's hard. It's so just like doing it at the same time, doing at the same time. It's so hard.

But well, I also even when I just sing, I can't do it well, so doing it at the same time, Like when we played together, you're like, go ahead and try, and I was like, all right, Nikki said it, and I'll do it. And after I did, I remember even like going home and I was like she probably really hated that. Like it makes I get so I know, but that's what I'm saying, Like in my in your mind, you blow it up. Singing to me is the scariest thing in the world. I don't know why. Well, yeah,

it's embarrassing. You're like howling from your head like you're like crying. I mean, like because it's like is it because you don't think you're a good singer or because it's just too emotionally vulnerable. No, I'll be emotionally vulnerable. That's not a problem. But it's hard for me to like try to sing and then like try to hit the notes and then it's like you miss them, and then just voice teacher, you can learn how to sing. I should. I mean I went to a guitar teacher.

I should go to This is the thing. People think that and I used to think this way too. You think your voice is just your voice and that either got it or you don't. Why does everything else we take lessons for it, but your voice. People are like, you're either a singer or you're not. You can you can learn how to use it. I've improved so much just from simple instruction, learning how to breathe differently, learning how to just position my body and I still have

so much more to learn. Like I still listen to my voice and I'm like God because you hear good singers and I know they're doing something different with their mouth and with their breathing and with their diaphragm. I have all the same components in my body. I have healthy chords. Now there's nothing holding me back except I'm not using my instrument the same way. We all have the same instrument. And then yeah, there's some people that

are like truly tone deaf. But if you are not tone death, you have an instrument you can learn how to use better, and I'll practice. I do want to practice more because I I mean, I play guitar. I've gotten way during the pandemic. I got monumentally better at guitar, and that's fun. To express yourself with something beyond yourself is so fun for me. Is the only way I get good at anything. And like, I don't like to practice alone. I need to like show it immediately to someone,

and so practicing on my Instagram live. Shout out to everyone who watches those um and thes. Do that kill your that clean version you did? I love that version of you. I literally went and listen to Taylor Swiss version, I was like, I like this, but I like your acoustic versions. So that was the first time I had played it too, So that's really nice. I love going. It's my favorite thing to do besides the podcast is going on Instagram live and playing guitar poorly and singing

a little bit better than that. Um. And it's just like it's made me get so good because some people sometimes tune in and they're like, WHOA, she's gotten a lot better, And like, all I've done is this. But when you are expected to perform and when there's people watching the same when I go to Starbucks to write, there's people around me, and I feel like I have to look like a writer. I'm writing in my apartment, I'm gonna get distracted. I need to perform. It makes me,

you know, even sex I pull up the curtains. I'm like, maybe someone will be watching this. He's someone Maybe someone will tune in from across I sure got it would probably make me a better better in anyway, if I thought maybe there was someone like that had a hidden camera something. If I just was scared that maybe there was a hidden camera, I might perform better. If you've ever watched a video yourself and sex. No, I have, and it's immediately you're like, oh, it's like that episode

of You're kind of like huh. Like for a second, you're like, this will be cool, and then later you're like, you and the person are like, let's burn our phones. Like let's say one time I did said that there was someone that took some footage and they showed it to me and I did not want to see it. I would have been like, no, I don't want to see this, but he showed it to me, like, hey, look at this, and I thought it was someone else and I was like, holy sh it, that's really hot.

Who is that? And it was me? And I was like, I work in it. I was like I was because I would never I know, that's not going to be something I want to see, you know. But I can't even watch my stand up, so this is not nothing new to me. Anything I'm good at I don't want to watch sex is no different. Okay, Mom's here gotta go. Thank you guys so much for listening to the podcast. Bobby jay Cox, thank you for being on. You can

watch him open for me on the road. Dates coming up next weekend in Waterloo, Hershey, Pennsylvania, and Atlantic City. I got Memphis this Friday. Tell your friends that live in Memphis would mean so much to me. As always meet and greets are free, um if you go alone to the show, and they're always for purchase at the Merch Booth two or with a VI I P ticket. UM. Thank you guys so much for listening. We will see you next week. Dopeka and Bick