#296 Mega Newbie w/ Julie Glaser

it took off. It took off. I don't know what happened. Um. So she's here sitting here with me. Um, we had a little good morning. Uh. Andrew is in Austin, Texas? Is that correct? Yes? I am. I saw you bringing a Tobo Chico on on camera. I know that that is the national beverage of Austin, Texas. Have Why are top Chico so fucking good compared to any other sparkling water? Okay? I really yeah. I don't think everybody's talking about Oh my god. So I mean you take it down Topo.

They're expensive, Well that's price. There is a superior taste to it. My mom's taste will be affected by the price tag of something. Last night, Chris was in her guest room is Chris's closet, and Chris had to go in there after she was in bed. He was like, I feel so bad. I gotta get a shirt for tomorrow and come on in, Chris, And so I knocked. I was like, can we come in? My mom's like

laying in bed like a corpse. I said, come on in, come on and Chris, and she's sitting there in her ned with rosebud coming in that's just how you get ready for bed, that look. Yeah. And so he comes in and he is going through the closet to find a shirt and he pulls out a shirt and has a tag on it like it's brand new, and she goes, oh, newby, he got a newby And he starts laughing so hard. We were saying newbie in bed after you we went to bed for like twenty minutes. I just he just

goes to your mom is so funny. I doesn't want to make him alive. He he laughs. It makes me realize how much he doesn't laugh at me when he surresds to him, like this guy is capable of like cracking up everything. We know. He looks at me and starts laughing. I don't know what I have done to him. He really does. Honestly, you are. You are like the funniest person to him. He just looks. I'm like, what now,

I don't do anything? He will. The one time that really we can't get over it was when we went to see my dad perform and he asked my mom, you can get up there and sing tonight because sometimes she will, and she goes, no, Chris, I'm a broken woman. And I stamped by that. We were like, what does that even mean? But it's because her neck was sucked up the problem? Why are you a broken woman? When did your body start breaking? Like? When when should we

get ready for it? Honestly, women me Andrew, it was yeah, it wasn't a day. It was just like, uh, my body hurts. I'm like, I didn't even do anything on you. Was just said as this clip of Patton Oswalt where he says turning fifty after fifty. Before fifty, he was like, I could walk into propeller blades and just put some back tea on it. And then after fifty, uh, my spine implodes because a leaf falls near me. It's kind of true. He said, I broke my ankle because I

was stepping off a curb. It was like like like an aunt who like saw a bird like it was. He just was talking about how frail you get and on you was like, yeah, like she's feeling like her, she's feeling age. I'm not really feeling it yet, but I'm not. I get that, but I know it happens. I started. I started to hear you guys complain about your age. I feel like around my age, like thirty eight, when you're just like you would just get up and kind of go like those kinds of things, you know,

hang out. Andrew. We know Andrew feels it because he, uh, what was the thing? All right? Follow that I can't get down at standing and I'm standing and I can't get down down there? Yeah he gets down. It's on the floor. The beds on the floor. You pay hundreds of dollars to sleep on the floor. I guess it's minimalists.

They where where you can get to the beds the hotel or AIRPB hotel, hotel, and it has like a like there's not really it's a platform bedably, it's a platform, but it's so low though, I'm I hurt getting down off get on all fours like almost like a crowd position. You roll to all fours off the bed, and then can you get up from there? I guess it needs to have one of those McCanns thinks, aren't you doing burpies in there? That like you got to get on the ground and then get back up really quick, like

aren't those part of your wait? And you can't get in the bed or out of the bed, which is it? He can't get out out? Yeah? Out and up? Yeah, that's hard. Like when he's playing with his cat on the ground, he has trouble getting back up? Is that a thing for you? Yeah, that's a definite thing getting back A taller cat, well, that's why people go at

greyhounds when they're old boys. Needs to be like one of those Halloween cats that like holds up its hand like it squeezes together and arches his back like really skinny and top of another cat. I need like, oh yeah, that would be cool. Um, do you have a cat power for your cat? One of those trump at the top, but really, do you have one of those? I always say his name on everything if I had a cat,

I'd get one of those town I know they're cute. No, it's just that gives the cats something, right, instead of your curtains or your leg at your couch that he's going to tear. Well. Yeah, I think people don't not get a tower because they're like, I want him to rip my curtains up, because they just are lazy and cheap. Now that's something I wouldn't be so cheap one right, But much think sewer runs nowadays, I would say they nine. You could find one for easily on like Facebook Marketplace.

People are trying to get one of those things and to be a goodwill good Well, go on Facebook Marketplace that. I loved Facebook Marketplace when I was furnishing my apartment. That's so fun. I look at it every day. Yeah, it's good, it's fun. It's just what people are trying. I feel like that has more stuff on it than like Craigslist that isn't even look at Craig's anymore. It's it's a nightmare. Yeah, yeah, why because has any scan

too much crap? Too much crap and you get through your marketplace search because are you going in there and you're just seeing what happens or well, right now, I'm looking for certain things because Matt and Lauren are looking for a couch and they want a specific couch. They want a joy bird. Well they would like a joy bird. But yeah I did. I did find a joy bird. Nice couches love sacks. That's what Chris and I are going to get nice. They sound sexual, Well, we are couch.

We just talked about this like. There was something on Redd and I saw that said if if you ever go to someone's house, you just know that that couple has had sex on that couch and you're sitting on except you would have added that sexual. Yeah, that would be very sexual. I've probably had sex something euch, just kidding. I haven't just kidding. I haven't had sex coming in couch. I would not. That was that was the old to me. You guys ever replaced those couches since then? Those, Yeah,

we gotta at somebody else's used couch. Then that someone else had sex on. I probably had sex on those when they were at other people's house. I got around at Saint Louis. God, I don't want a cat tower that other cats have fucked on. Oh yeah, everyone sucks on their on their cat powers. That's why I say cat one cat thro that that's so u. So I'm in Los Angeles with my mother. Oh wait, yeah, we wanted to know how you were searched on Facebook. So I'm kind of looking for a few things, and so

I have pinpoints that I can just go to. Okay, couches and then I look at the couches for the day. What else am I fascinating? So you type in couches, Yeah, just type of Really No, I don't. I know, I did too, it's already in there. I don't already and I don't even have to type it. So when you go to the cursor, it just comes up as one of your things. Oh baby, Now what earth is a

things that normal people wouldn't know? Going on Facebook? Marketplace that you know and you probably wouldn't even tell your secrets if you had them, But I don't think you have us. Here's the thing about that. It's all about timing you if you I mean, it's I mean, you gotta be on its. My mom, Yeah, my mom is constantly on Facebook. Market big coin is a love sack chair, Yes, no it is. This is my mom and my mom uses both hands to look at her phone. My mom,

just can't. Have you ever just scrolled your phone with one hand? I cannot. She does this and it's this close to her face, and she's what's the one window hold the phone and the other pointer finger to scroll, and then she scrolls like this like she's just giving out a flick. It can never be like the price is right. It's kind of fun. It's like she's like she always like gambling, fruit ninja or angry birds. I'm

gambling and it's just scrolling on Twitter or something. She'll just go and it's like, do you know that you can just go like this and like scroll it like that without lifting up your finger. Because sometimes I'll go, Mom, you know in your text where you search a word? Because today she was trying to take a picture of my um Starbucks order so she could remember, and I go, there's no point in you taking a picture of this. You're not gonna signed it in your photos. I've watched

you before. It's gonna get buried. I'm gonna send you photo, they're gonna get send photos of the kids, and they're gonna get you. I'm gonna see you doing this. Hold on, I gotta find this. I gotta find this damn order Nikki sent me. So then I taught her, I go, I'm gonna text, and that way you can look in your text. You know how to search in your text. And I taught her how. And so I told her to go back to her text and then you know how, you pulled that, you scroll, pulled down and then a

search bark up. Now and she flicks. She's like she can't just like and you know how sometimes you can flick, like how to go to your mainstream? Like you do this and all these options come up. What fact, my mom uses her phone like a rotor, right, the flicking of the figure. Still they need to make little hand like little handles on the side, like when you play slots at the mean those little things you could little

pull a little trick, a little handle for you. My mom played she came to see me at a casino. I didn't even play the slot. Would you play craps? Now? I played roulette, but I played for like an hour that He was like, you know, uh, there was some sign about like no smoking weed. He's like, or there was something about weed, and he was like, they benefit from people smoking weed because they can't count cards, and

I go, you think people are counting cards? Shitty casino, no offense to the casino in Iowa on the border. There's no one counting cards there. If there is, there's one person, maybe every and they look, no, that's the only person. I go, Dad, there is no Gambling does not take skill, and there's no skill to be and he goes, there's skill, there's skill, and I'm like, there's not,

or or it wouldn't exist. Always it's always about luck. Dad, there's a stoner mathematician that's figuring out at like airplanes and yeah. He was like, they definitely want people smoking weed around here so that they don't have to count their cards. And I'm just like, okay, anyone who's counting cards will know how to count cards. Stone to like, there, yes,

you can't go stoned or drunk. Yeah, but he goes, that's why they get drunk, so that people get stupid, and I go, no, they get them drunk so they get stupid and they spend more money, not so that they can't have My dad goes, it fos up people's game and I'm like, no, if I don't know how to play black shack, at all. I don't know the rules. I don't know. I know it's like twenty one and then you hit you with the past or whatever the funk it is. I go up to a black jack table,

I used to feel so insecure, not knowing. If you go there, the dealer will tell you what the best odds are to do, and then it all comes down to luck. There's sometimes you can split it or whatever. But like other people at the table will always help people at the table, there is no skill to it. You do have to understand the game, but there's no like you don't have an Maybe geniuses have advantages, but the average Joe is not gonna have an advantage of blackack.

Or about rain Man, No, well he could probably count some cards pretty well. Well, it depends if he's still or not. But yeah, I do. I I played a lot of blackjack, and it depends. There is some skill involved, and there are a lot of rules. Tell me why, because you've got to know whether to hit on something. I mean, well, where is there is there a thing where you can tell me, like I might make a mistake and you would know what to do. Okay, there's

a lot of different things. When when to split certain numbers. So if you get two eights right and then you're going against a ten, you don't want to split them. But if it's against the six, you want to split them. Then you could double your best going to tell me that maybe maybe maybe not. Sometimes sometimes you want to stay on certain things. And then isn't there a rule

for everything? There's always like this is the better option to make, and then everyone at the table knows that, but a lot of people, because a lot of drunk, fucking assholes, will just go, oh, I'm going to stay on the thirteen against the ten because I just feel it, and then it ruins the whole flow of the table, and then everyone hates that person, and then everyone wants to fight that person, and that person ends up winning somehow, and now everyone hates them even more and the whole vibe.

I guess it's the same as like betting on one of the green numbers on roulette, where it's like the odds of that it's black or red. No, there's one zero? Yeah, yeah, all right, well but if you if you're okay, wait, oh sorry, just like black and black Jack, if if okay, they have automatic shuffle, which is harder to count. But if it's just a single deck shuffle, if you see a lot of tens at the beginning, the more tens in the deck, the better it is for you as

the player. That's all I know. So, so like let's say you're playing a single deck, you see a lot of tens up top, then you know not to bet as much at the end because there's like you're going to get lower numbers. Yeah, but there might see nines. There's four nines in there, and eights are very close to tend to let you have it because I don't know what I'm talking about, but I do think that if there there was a way to have an advantage over casinos, people would figure it out and then casinos

wouldn't make money. But that's never gonna happen. Casinos makes so much money because there is no way. The dealer always has the advantage, the house has the advantage. Yeah, but it's still doesn't mean it's not fun and that you can't still win. So fun, Someone in Altadena out here one two billion dollars and hasn't claimed it yet. There's a there is a ticket out here for the mega millions, the megabillions, at this point, are you sure

it's not maga? Oh my god. My mom said earlier she was talking about Trump and she was like, I think he's out because you know what, his people not set all these people and the mega's and there, and I go Mega's and she goes the magazin they're voting, not the the mega's did not a lot of his megas didn't. And I go, make elephants great again, that's

exactly what he is. Don't insult elephants like that. And she goes and I go, it's make America great gun and she goes, okay, so you've been saying mega do you? And say Mega Mega? Um, well, someone want two billion dollars? And my mom wrote to me and goes by chance by a ticket now to Dina about what she thinks about you, Like she like you would buy it and not check it, like you would win two billion and just yeah to disorganized Nick with two billion dollars like that,

your life isn't you towers at our half price? You would still, yeah, your life really wouldn't change that much. You would go. You would be able to cut off all your family. I could cut them off, so you'd have to you gotta you gotta go into obscurity. Yeah, you would give them, would you say, Andrew, you call your mom and do not just start it's like wrong numbers. She's like, my mom said she would give it away, and I just I don't believe you. Oh my god,

I would love to do that. Who needs even five million dollars? I mean I could use five million, maybe twenty I would who knows? But a billion billion dollars? Do you know how many? Okay? Do you know how many seconds are? In one millions? And I should have paid attention. It's okay, Um, it's like twelve days is a million seconds? Do you know how many seconds are? How many? How long is a billion seconds? Thirty six years? That's the difference between a million and a billion. People like,

people think it's insane. We gotta go to break. But we'll be back with more interesting stats after this. Is it so fun? Hey guys, it's your girl, Nick. I'm in a car on my way to Santa Barbara. I don't know why I'm telling you that, But tomorrow, on Friday, I will be a thousand Oaks, California as part of my tour. The next night, I will be in Valley Center,

California at Harrah's in San Diego. The next week, I'm gonna be in Arlington, Vermont, in Providence, Rhode Island, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Oklahoma City, and it just goes on and on, Atlantic City, Memphis. These are all places I've never been before. So if you or someone you know lives there, let them know come to a show. It means so much to me. Every ticket sale means something. And it's a really good show and I'm really proud of it, and I think you'll have a blast. So I hope to see besties

out at these shows again. If you want to go alone, just DM meet going alone all caps after you buy a ticket to go alone and then tell me your name in the city and I will give you a free meeting. Great and I hope to see you there. I can't wait to meet you guys. And all my tour dates, which are many more cities than I talked about right now, are available on my website at Nicky Glazer dot com Thanky Glazer dot com. And I'll see you on the Good Girl tour. All right, we're back.

My mom is overheated. Get that sweater off your lap. Oh wait, you're like, you're not on your stomachs on camera or maybe it is. Yeah it is, okay, Well hold on, let's hide it. Let's hide My mom is freaking hilarious. Last night we went to yesterday we taped a show that was why. Um, yeah, it's a show for E where um we play. We're not gonna say who's on it though, Okay, okay, okay, you want to talk in the microphone instead of okay, it's sorry. I um so it was a show for E and M.

They asked us back. He wanted us back in the If you haven't heard my show, it is not coming back. I haven't officially announced that. Maybe on the show. I think I've mentioned it, but it's not coming back my locom home, Nicki Glazer. Not enough people watched it. I know Bestie's watched it, but you know, uh, it just didn't. It's It's okay though, I'm totally fine about it. I was. Um, I already knew it was going to get canceled before

it got picked up, because nothing last forever. Um, everything will be canceled. You, your parents, your kids, your everything will die. Everything dies someday. Yeah, I know, it down or so like any time anything happens, don't get excited about it because it will be taken from you. That's the way I live my life. Um, your mom slowly looked at you like a golden retriever, like finding out it's going to get put down. That I know we're going to take you to a farm you are probably

going to put me. Yeah, I want your pure bread and I don't want your lineage to continue, and you have sorry to be I kind of like that. I do have a problem that everyone in this goddamn town as a pure bread dog. Everyone has a golden kind. I saw mutts really okay, good, they always due to your bread like they're they're they're breeded, they're breeded, and I love the dog itself, but like, but people just go, I just wanted to hypoallergenic. It's like that doesn't even

mean anything. That was just a term that people came up with. And I know, no, my dog actually does prevented my allergies. I just want someone to think that they could blow their nose on their dog. That's what that means. They do look like they're people have snotted all over them. I just I don't get why they're so cute. Everyone thinks they're so cute. No offense to everyone I know who has one of those Golden doodles. I don't think they're that cute. I don't either. I'm

over that whole cuteness. I think. I think there are so many more cute rescue animals that I see when I post on my Instagram story. These little dogs with sad eyes that have been through some ship. These gold Dioders are just like from the get go and they're just they all have too much energy. People who get

them go like, oh my life is hell. Like I want a dog that's been through like scarred, like you've seen what if you just lift your hand and then they go to the corner and they shake, look like look like toy dogs that were wound up and then they took the wound off and they just went. They look they don't look they don't look real to me, you know what. They seem fake, like like like a stuffed animal. Yes they do, and I think that's what people like about them. But I I'm sorry, and I'm

gonna lose listeners on this. I'm sorry. You probably don't think my dog is cute. I don't think they're cute. There are some dogs, and I've said this before, dogs with human eyes, dogs with um big bulldogs. I love all animals. You guys know that I don't eat them, but like, I don't think bulldogs are cute. I never have where the start to droop and you can see

underneath their eyes. It drew so low that the lid like it comes under and you can see like this, like you know when you pull your eye down because you have something caught in it. Their eyelids always have these pockets underneath that are exposed. That was a human being, it would be on hospice. Dogs are walking around looking very This is controversial. I don't think bulldogs are cute.

I once there was this guy I was like kind of seeing and he got a bulldog that had like blue eyes, and I was like, I was like, I remember being like, he's so cute, and his dog makes me physically ill when I see it come up as it looks like sometimes I have to see what this guy's up to on Instagram and I'll see his ugly dog and I'll go, oh good, I'm so glad. It's just it's an ugly dog for an ugly person, Well you just know that. But you know what, I would

probably get a bulldog and love it. So I just want to say I don't need my dog to be cute to own it. This is the thing. People think that something not being cute means it doesn't deserve to live or doesn't deserve love. Like it's some kind of like like if someone thought my dog wasn't cute, I really don't care. It doesn't mean that it's any less lovable or sweet. It doesn't matter if I think your dog is cute. But I don't think a lot of dogs are cute. I think they're just as gross as

like a cockroach. But I still like, I don't kill cockroaches. Does that make sense? You are there's dogs you don't think you're cute. I I'm trying to kind of well, and I'm in the same camp those cute over cute dogs. It's like, Okay, we get it. They're cute. You know that. It's like it's like, oh, look at me, I have the cutest dog. People. You know, people, that's not why you get a dog to have the crudest dog. You

get it started a dog. You're all like you're on one side, like, so you need running the mill dog. You don't want a bulldogs too ugly, a golden dudeles take a coul dog. No, I'll take a hop Like I'm just saying they're ugly, and don't tell me your dog. I will not go your dog is so cute. It's not cute. It has human eyes. But some people do think they're cute. It's a matter of opinion. But just

because I think, I just want to tell people. If you have a bulldog and I don't think your dog is cute, it doesn't mean I don't think your dog is awesome and that you don't think they're cute. Yeah, and you are probably actually you're probably not too cute.

That doesn't mean that you don't deserve love and that you aren't in school and like better than Like I'm exploring this thing in my set right now where if you say someone's ugly, like unequivlically, like this person is not cute, this person is not attractive, you get like that's so mean, and it's like, why is that a judgment on there? It doesn't mean it's just a fact some people are not attractive. But you can't say that.

It's just I didn't know how to end up sentence, and then I looked at you and I knew exactly where I was going. Some people get some people. But but it's so funny because we live in a society where if you're attractive, it means you're good, which it doesn't mean that at all, as you know, many attractive people are not good. But we live in a society where if you're ugly it means you're bad. If you're attractive, it means you're good. And it's like, where did where

did that get lined up? Because there's I should be able to say that someone is ugly and not having people go that's so mean. No, it's just a act. It's like saying they're poor. It's like saying they're probably why though, but that's what I'm saying. I would be hurt too. But I'm saying we got to take away the moral um, you know, the moral levity of of of your looks, Like why does that mean? It doesn't mean you're a bad person, it's just about people's feelings. Well,

because we because looks matter so much. I just read this article that said hot girls get better grades across the board, high school, college, they get better grades, but during Zoom their grades stabilized to the same as everyone else's because because the press fasters couldn't smell their pussies. I don't know, their pheromones weren't coming out but the row. But that's why I'm talking about. That's why we think.

That's why we think attractive is good because you get rewarded for being attractive, you get good things, and so when someone calls you ugly, you go, well, that means I'm not going to get all these advantages, and there there's just this you should be able to call someone ugly. I hope we get to a place where someone can go I'm ugly and everyone goes, no, you're not. It's like, why is it bad that I'm ugly? Why I was

just born this way? I feel like with entertainment to there's always like room for one ugly person and everyone's like, wow, let's champion them, and it's like, what about the second ugly person. They're like, well, that's too much ugly. Like the same with fat and ugly. We have like one ugly woman maybe who gets to work, and we have like four fat women in entertainment, and that is it. Men.

There's probably like fifty that work because there's like character actors, but there's and and there's maybe like four fat men because and then a lot of them may just make them wear fat suits. But you you're right, there's always a threshold of like how a good looking guy gain weight for the role and still you know what I mean, yeah, IDs to play the role that this other for other people about the Brendan Fraser is now like getting critical acclaim for the whale playing a four gay man. And

it's like they could have found one of those. They're all over the place. Give that guy a chance, give that four inner pound chance. Got no chances in life, and that would have been it. Well different. Sorry, I have a question though, because isn't it different if I call myself ugly versus someone else calling me ugly? Yeah, but it's I'm saying that ugly shouldn't mean anything either way. You should when I call myself ugly or I say, oh, I'm I look old, people you know they want to

go no, you're not. But that tells me that there's something wrong with being those things? What's wrong with being ugly? What's wrong with being old. The problem is is that there's nothing really inherently wrong with either of those things. It doesn't change the person you are, doesn't change what you're capable of, It doesn't change your intelligence, It doesn't change any of these things. What it changes is how people treat you. And if we lived in a society

where everyone was treated the same way. But we're not, because biologically we're attracted to things that we want to fuck, and we want to give things people things that we want to fuck. But it doesn't. I think that we just have looks and character mixed up and so something there's something evil about being ugly, where it's really just as subjective as your skin color or your hair color,

or your the coarseness of your hair. It's really just that much of a different or saying that some people are more intelligent than other people, it's just it we both there's a there's a there's a high placed upon a challenge is intelligence when really there shouldn't be. It's either because you can't choose how intelligent you are. You either are you aren't. It should just be black And you know what I'm saying, doesn't any this makes sense? Intelligence?

You can make yourself more intelligent. No, you can't. You're kind of born with I mean, you can learn more, you can't change. There could be more. But if someone's born with learning disabilities and a low que let's say, it doesn't make them a worse person than someone who's born really smart. But we as a society put that meaning on it. It's just as different as like a blonde person and a person with brown hair. That's the difference there. But for some reason we don't put morality

on those things. We don't put morality on We pretty much put morality on every People that are smarter make more money. People are better looking, make more money. It doesn't change if you're a good person or not, or like the time of person you are. And that's what we put on it is like that person is somehow a bad person. You're bad. If you're fat, you're bad. If you're ugly, you're bad. If you're not intelligent, those things,

it's not true. I mean, people with Down syndrome are definitely less intelligent than the rest of us, and they are probably a hundred times better than the rest of us in terms of like actual morals. What would you want to see what would you want to see a world which it will never happen, where people are judged for the character their character, and not the color of there's what am I mart listening, not the color of the kid, not how fat they are, not how intelligent

they are. We but like in the world you're talking about, just be nicer to those people. Don't give girls that are hotter better grades. I wish that, but these are all things that are subconscious. You can't help. Don't hold doors for people that you know you want to fuck and not for people you don't want to fuck. Don't treat homeless people different than you would a person with a lot of money, don't you know? Like, but we

we can't stop doing that because it's all subconscious. I think you're over exaggerating on the fucking people, know that is what it's about. It's by a lot of Yeah, it's like you, it's I mean, you're not being nicer people because you want to, But you're nicer to beautiful people, probably because nicer people get You know that nicer people

have more things in the world. You want access to the things they might be able to give you, and the reason they get more things in this world is because they are fuckable and because you know, people who generally have most of the power, men want to have

sex with them and so they get more things. I know I'm nicer to people sometimes when without even knowing it, subconsciously because they're a pretty girl and I'm intimidated, and I'm like, oh, maybe if she likes me, people will think I'm a pretty girl, and then I'll get more things. It's like we're all driven to these things. No, um, I don't know about that. I really don't. I mean, I'm as nice to a person who isn't as beautiful as the next person. I agree that you are, but

subconsciously I think it. I also think it's a difference, the difference between like someone that's ugly and something that's ugly that's also an ugly person, like I don't know, like I'm I'm more drawn to even if you are ugly, if you present yourself well and you're nice and you're whatever, like you, you don't pay attention to the ugliness and just as nice to that person, I feel, you know, I don't know. I think it would look at the studies for ugly people. I mean, there have been studies

done where they like. Like I said, girls that are attractive get better grades across the board. And I bet you anything, professors don't think that they favor girls that are more attractive, but they do. It's subconscious. We reward people in society that we think have more money, have more power. In reward, Bigger men, like taller men, get rewarded.

You get a little bit more nervous. If you got into an elevator with a bunch of guys that were hot and tall and looked like basketball players, you would get a little bit more You would start doing this with your fingers and get a little bit more nervous than if it was a bunch of guys that looked like the bridge man that murdered those two girls, dressed in like a weird cap, and like, you know, same

with me. If I get super hot models, I would be a little bit more nervous and like, I hope they like me, and like maybe stand up straighter than I would if it was just a bunch of old women.

You know, Like it's we adjust. You don't think you do, mom Um, maybe unconsciously maybe I do, But I see you get more nervous if you had like you know, you have people that coming over the house that have a lot of money or like are like these like hoity twity whom, and you get a little bit more nervous about what they think of your house than just an average person. Okay, so there we go. I rest my case. My mom last night met speaking of rich

fantastic women. Uh, my mom last night we went to So we did this show yesterday and um it was so my mom was so funny on it. It was on Zoom. It's called Celebrity Game Face, and it was so fun We laughed all day long. It was a long shoot, but we got to Yeah, Kevin Hart hosts it and he was on with um and it was like two other celebrities and then they're like friends or

like people that they brought. So it was like two huge celebrities that we're not going to say but in their friends and then my mom and me and and then Kevin Hart and um it, I don't know what it'll air, but it was so freaking funny. Anything you want to say about it. I was crying, It was embarrassed crying. She had tissues because she was laughing tissues, crying, laughing so hard. We were just it was just it was fun. It was so fun and you play a

bunch of games. It was like a show that was created during COVID to just make entertainment while with celebrities at their home. But now it's just continued on because it's just so fun um and we just had the best time. And then I went and did a photo shoot that my guy that shoots for Wilco. I met him at a Wilco music festival and then he was like, yeah, I should shoot you sometime and I was like, it would be awesome. And then he saw that it was

in l A and so we went over there. I just brought a huge thing of clothes to this like abandoned house was he rented. And then he was so good. I didn't even know what he was capable of. I got like shots, did you see the Jennifer Aniston shots that came out yesterday? And like those it was like those. I mean it's not like a sexy but he was just really he was in touch with that camera and

he was so good. Like there's so many yes, they're so photo shoots Andrew, and we've done stuff like that where it's like they'll just start taking photos of you and just expect you to know what to do, and it's like, you're not. I'm not a model and I don't know what my angles are. Most people don't. But he was like, so there's one where yeah, and he's like, you're not ugly, and like I should be allowed to be. It's okay, it doesn't mean anything about myself. I had this, uh,

like sweater on. I didn't have many clothes because I'm staying here, so I didn't have like a great wardrobe to pick from. But I had this like really bulky sweater that was almost like a robe, like a long sweater, and I was like, I'll just wear like nothing underneath this, and so it was kind of sexy and like kind of and then I realized, because I'm so uncomfortable being sexy, that I was making a sexy face to just try

to get me into feeling sexy. And he's like, the thing about these photos is like when you take a photo where you're wearing, like where it's a sexy photo where you're wearing something sexual, make your face unsexy because otherwise it looks pornographic because it's like it's sex on sex. But if you just look bored or like just like with full or listless is a cooler look because you're

already doing the sex with your body. And I would have never known that because I was always trying to like be in the mode that I'm trying to feel. And he was like, you know, if you're comfortable with your hands and everything, it's gonna look comfortable. And I've never known that. Every time I did get photos, they're like, raise your chin straight in your back, look up, and I'm always like, this is never how I would stand, and it's just always so he was just so good,

and you were so good. It was like watching a professional model. Well that is nice of you, but honestly, I was like, wow, what were you impressed by? I'm really curious just the way you were moving and you were like, so the camera. I'm not telegenic, but I'm not photogenic. Photos are hard for me. I'm and did you note Rhotus when you said I was photogenic? He did not co sign on that who he did to

a photographer. He was like, Nicki's very beautiful. You said all these nice things, and then my mom goes, she is photogenic. She just his and he was just silent, and I was like, I'm telegenic, and then my own goes, what what the hell is that? I go, it's I'm

good on motion picture. I'm like, I look better than I do in person when the cameras moving and I'm on video but photogenic, I'm like, I'm like, I got chance of looking good in a shot, whereas my friends that are models dent chance of looking good when they're photographed. Lauren is photogenic. Lauren my sister, she's fanning'st and pictures.

I feel like we're similar in photos where it's like there's like a big window, like you think, like my sister, I'm like this and I'm like a four, Like I feel like there's photos of you look good, like you're someone whose face just captures real well and still image where I look like the cucumber from Veggie Tails and like but drawn in most photos. The other day, um, because I just hated these photos of me this past weekend and I looked like the cucumber from Veggie Tails.

And it was one time in high school, Kirsten was like, there was this picture of me, and I go, I hated I look like a cucumber and she laughed so hard that it confirmed that I did indeed look like a cucumber. And so the other day I felt like this picture looked like a cucumber. And I've put on some weight recently, which I'm just struggling to be acquainted with. And so I started just just drawing cucumber, like outlining myself and writing cucumber and then sending it on our

group chat. And I was just cyber bullying myself for like a good twenty minutes, and it felt so good to just be like old, and I circled places on my face. I was just really mean to myself. Um, and why do you feel good? Because because I just got to say what No, I hate that I said, don't say anything to me about it. I just think it ugly people. And then if you feel ugly, you're so mean to yourself because I hate society. I hate that society U values beautiful people. And I have to

because that's what tells me too. So I get I get it, though I wish I valued the way I look. I'm not saying up with a mother who says I'm disgusting every day, Get out of here. What you said disgusting about yourself three times yesterday talking She's like, I look like, oh, I had Cleveland showing for the show. And she was like, you've got some Clevland going and I was like, I like it doing it and she got I go, you got some boobs happening too, and

she was like, because I'm fat. When you look way, they go right to your boobs right, And I go, that's most people like having boob and she wants a boob production. She just doesn't want that. And she goes any woman who is post menopausal, you tell me if they want more boobs. No, they do not know, they do not. We did one good boobs. Now I used to have good boobs. I mean like, but did you like And it was like, yes, I liked that night. And now they're just they're just fat boobs. So you know,

ask any woman who's gained weighting her sixties. Yeah, they'll tell you the same thing. They'll go, just on the boobs. It's not fun. I can't wait, missus doubt fire titties sagged, but I guess it would be a lot of weight up there is. Are they waited? I don't want to talk about them? Okay, well, you know what we should talk about is last night. You After my photo shoot, we went home for like a couple of hours, and then we were out all freaking day. Ten am, we

got picked up for the show. We taped that until three at four o'clock. We had the photo shoot until six, and then we got home and then I had to go do sets last night at eight thirty, and we went to the comedy Store and I go on stage and my mom is already swept up in conversation with Adam Ray at Andrew's Santino. She's in the New Besties, and they were so cute as Santini, Santini and the Great Santi, the Great Santini. Yeah. I love those islands

and the Greek islands. Yeah. No. He came in and we walked in and he was like, oh, I'm like, oh yeah. He was very excited to see it was really cute. I'm like, uh, each other. No, I love him so much. He's really yeah, and that's why he was all over me, because he loves ni. You want to see where it came from and uh. And then the fortune Feamster was there, and then so I go.

He saw those big old sixties three year old three. Um. So he then I go on stage and I come off stage, and my mom is deep in a fun, loving conversation with Tiffany Hattish, and then Chris text me like, hey, I'm out front. He was at work. He's going to pick us up and I had to go to another set hecause I'm out front, and I go. My mom is embroiled in a conversation with Tiffany Hattrish. I can't pull her away, and so I let it go on

for another like ten minutes. She's got a lot going on, and he started the conversation, you're Tiffany, Yeah, how did it start? Well, we're talking about uh, We're sitting there talking. I said hi, you know, and she's like, hi, hey girl, and says she sits down next to me, and we were talking about um. Somebody said to her. I think it was Santini, the Great Santini and there Santino, the Great Santino. I think he said to her. I actually

I think it was Harlan who said Harlan Williams. Harlan Williams. So he went off. He was on stage, and then I he brought me on stage, and so we switched and he walked into the green room. So he says, Tiffany is something about Oh, she said something about a garden, that she has a garden, and he said, uh. He said, are you a vegan? And she said no, And then we started talking about it. She said, I said, that's so funny. The whole way here, my daughter and I

were talking, Nikki. We're talking about veganism and how I kind of want to do it. It's going to be really difficult, and she said, girl, I wouldn't be vegan. She said it's too hard. But I I said, what

about this garden? She said, oh. But anyway, she's opening a grocery store in um l A and some desperate place that is not doing well what do they call those places that are desert food deserts And where her parents met is an old bank, but she's turning it into a grocery store where she's gonna have cooking lessons for you know, people and that just have never learned to cook, and you know, for the for her old her folks in her neighborhood that she loved. And she said,

black people don't cook. She said black people don't cook. She said, my friend, she takes her son to uh burger king every day and that's their quality time. She said, I think about it if you could teach him to cook, and did sit down and cook a meal with him and eat. But we went into all these different things about um, she wants to do this for her community. She wants to she bought all this property, she's working with all these farms, and she's she bought a big,

huge plot that she's gonna get her look great. Yeah, she's where. She's like cool white jumpsuit and like she's all about he now died um bleached and she's got you know how she shaved it so it's kind of grown in a little bit and it looks so she looks so freaking cute. She's so beautiful. I saw her and after she was talking to my mom was like, oh, we gotta get a picture you too. I go. My

mom was so excited to see you tonight. This is a true dream for and they took a cute little picture and then um, and then I was like we're talking about I forgetten I go, do you own a house here? Do you own? Which of course she does, she's a rich person. And she was like, oh yeah, I own houses, and I was like, Okay, how does everyone have a fucking like? Everyone is so rich? Yesterday we were on this thing with a celebrity and he was you. I mean I knew he was like well

to do? He was just he had He was at his bowling alley. That's what was the dinners drop. And I'm staying at an airbnb that honestly is breaking my bank to stay here for you know, six weeks. It's costing me close to ten thousand dollars, which I think is too much to span and Airbnb. And it's a small, two bedroom, very small. And I'm like, I'm a celebrity, I'm doing well. How is this not? How do I not have these things? This guy is worth we looked

up as net worth as worth seventeen million dollars. But still like, I just yes, how do people have this much money? And like, my friend just bought a house that was thirty eight million dollars two guys, it was her seconds. That's a different story. I want those things, But like where since when did how doses start costing thirty eight million dollars? It used to be like that house costs a million dollars. I think in the past ten years, millions has become it doesn't even mean anything.

Having a million dollars means a million dollars nothing anymore. How does that happen? It's just awful. It's so like there's some people that the disparity between some people are so fucking broken. Then there are other people there's I mean, this is the problem with the nation. But I just feel like you're either you have no money or you have all money. I mean a laborate noodle. Yeah, I mean a million dollars used to mean I know, and I just sat by a place I think. I don't know.

I mean, you've got to jump in the real estate game. I don't know. How do I have to do? I just crawl into jump back to it. I was like, you gotta get in, get in the mixt. I just want to punch you in. Once you own something, it just doubles in price. It's like it. And that's what almost Andrew and here lost a lot of money on a condo. But I and I was in realistic How did you do well, Andrew? What did you do? So?

What I did is I bought at the top and then I told at the bottom because I couldn't have afford the payments, so that was cool, you know, But no, everything doubles it basically does. I mean, if you a certain period of time over like a little bit before you I'm saying tanure, but some I'm much shorter than that, you know. Noah, you bought a beautiful home, and I think you bought at the right time. You're going to

rates went up. Yeah, but she's no, there's no. I've never done anything at the right time in my life. There's never been once where anyone goes through wow, you really got in there. No. No. Now, when it comes to financial like things, I've never once gotten a deal on something. I do have one. He's probably listening right now. I've never once made a sound financial decision that was like, Wow, you got in at the There's I always get there

right if the sale has ended. I you know, on a store, I you know, get a promo code and it won't work, and so then I can't you like I'll you never texted it goes say fift on your first order from this Kashmir place any type in the thing and that suits you a text and then you copy the text and you put it in it goes this code is not this is not working, Like what did I do wrong? And then I end up just going I'll pay the extra fifteen percent. I never I've

never done anything right financially. Are you listening? And I'm scared of you? Like you guys got your house and you won't leave it, you don't want to ever leave. I'm scared that if I get a house minute, I don't want I don't want to get married. I don't want to get a house. I don't want to bidey. I just don't want permanent. I don't want to sign up for anything forever. I just don't get that you could. You could rent, like if you bought in the hills

or something, you could. I gotta rent it out. I gotta look nice. And every week I gotta have some come in there and change out the sheets, and I get a deal with the cabinet, the cabinet above the stove, and then and then people go, no, you'd have some guy fix that. Well, then I gotta call the guy and I gotta go the cabinet's broken on the third stove. And then I gotta make sure, Okay, someone's gonna be

there to let you in at this time. People, Nicky, there's people that you can do that for you, Well, then I gotta hire those people. So I'm at the bottom of all of this. There, people go, NICKI, you hire people to do that. I don't want to hire. I don't even want to talk to That's the thing. No, I get that. I'm just you don't want to commit who It stresses me out. And this is someone you hired,

that one person to deal with thirty things. But then I feel like I'm getting fucked because if I because if I don't manage what they're doing, then they start channing. They start charging me more because they go, oh, I'm working hourly for her, and then they don't if I'm not checking up on what are these hours really actually compute? On the back end of that, I get fucked on everything. I really because I don't look at my own books.

This is why I need a husband. But I'm scared of marriage because I don't want to commit to that. So I just need you can rent him out. I want to. I want to rent all I would to property manage my husband managed by your nut actually sounds pretty sexy to me. Okay, we'll be right back right after this. Alrighty, I don't know why I'm doing that voice. Wait, I'm supposed to be talking up here? All right, we're back.

Are you supposed to talk up here? Yeah? This is bad for my voice to talk like this, and this is really good for my voice to talk like this and likes you one thing, it's the opposite, But this is better for my voice because my chords hit like flat, they hit the whole chord hits together. And when I'm talking like this, it's just the middle part goes like So that's supposed to talk up here, not like I know how to do it because I've been voice trained.

So it's like you are are you supposed to talk? No, it's like loud and like clear, like you're The sound is going like an arch out of your body as opposed to like grow low grow um. All I hear everywhere. By the way, is how fucked up people's voices are. Now, I'm so obsessed with people's voices. Now, what about my name? Yours? No? Yours is good? No, it's not. See this is what my mom? Everything? Is there? Anything about you? I mean, you got your voice fixed because it was No, my

voice is still gravelly. I still have a grit to it, which I like. I think it's just hereditary and just deal with it. That's what you used to when I used to tell my mom I was ugly when I was a kid and be like, I'm so ugly. She'd go, you just deal with it. I said, what was here? I go, I'm fat and I'm ugly, and I what God gave you? You probably you're so beautiful. You're so beautiful, and eventually just like, what the fun? I don't care to fill my head with lies about being beautiful. What

I wasn't my dad did. My dad would be like, you ever say beautiful? You're ugly. I wouldn't say it was ugly, but you weren't. I would have been furious if you would have gotten on the your beautiful bandwagon when I was a buck tooth like, pimple frizzy haired girl that no boys liked. I'm like, Dad, you're the only person who finds me sexually attractive, and just hold sexually well. He's like, you're so beautiful. I can't get

over it. I just God, you're beautiful. And I would just be like, I'm eating tomatoes soup and trade eat the scrilled cheese stuff, staring at me, gazing at me. Dad, he was just like I just made the most beautiful like because he really felt that way, because he loves me. But my mom I used to say I'm ugly, and my mom would go like, shut up, I'm tired of this. And then I go, but Lauren's so hot? Why is she so perfect? And I'm so ugly? And you'd go like,

you'd be happy with what you have? God, damn it, I don't want to hear this anymore. Just I've never said that ever in my life. I've never ever said that. I never thought that. Honestly, I never thought that. I never thought. I mean, I had friends that would just go, oh, my daughter is going to be a model. I'm like, shut up, don't put that ship in their heads right

off that. I always thought that was weird. Yes, like encouraged kids never heard we were like, we heard we were beautiful and like, but I would never say you should be a model, you should get out there because I like, you're so Yeah, No one said that, because I think that's that. I think that's weird too, just too much emphasis on their looks and which is going to go away at some point for them. You know, I just said, why would you put that pressure on,

like you should be a model? My friends used to do this with their kids, and I still laugh about It's like my kids were much more beautiful than your kids. And I never like said, oh, we're going to put them in modeling. I'm like, okay, every I wanted to be put in modeling so fucking bad. I wanted to be a child star. So I wish you would have. Janette maccurdyed me. She did write a book that's called I'm Glad my Mom is dead. But I would have loved if you and dad like forced me into the biz.

You wouldn't have. You would have just been miserable. Yeah, I mean I wasn't good at what. I wouldn't have booked I definitely. If I can't book them now, I wouldn't have booked them then it's for damn sure. I was like to see model do you? And Lauren modeled for limited To that was limited too? And how did

we get that gig? I don't even know how to just signed you up because you said we could be models, and we're like, we could do modeling at the all We're like, okay, so your Dan and I took you over there, you got you signed up, and we just sat there and watched you guys. Mom. Yeah, we were just out front and little Limited two outfits. They put us head to toe and Limited two and then we stood out front of Limited two and like people just walked by and we got to be models for the day.

That was so the good thing they didn't sign you for Amber Crombie, and you would have been like, yeah, yeah, I wouldn't even hardly like going in that store with Yeah, we would have had to be nude, out front nude. I remember when you guys were interested in shopping there. I was like, first of all, that's clothes are ridiculously expensive. They were so I remember it was forty dollars for shirt.

That was the first time, and this was two thousand one and a shirt was forty dollars, And I remember it was saying, I get it was hard keeping up with Kirstens. It really was. Family wasn't rich though, Why was it? Why did we just they bought it Jay Crew, They brought any sent their money on clothes, yes, and we did not do that, but I mean you it's not like we were deprived at all. You weren't like

you had clothes. Yeah, we had great clothes, but we were we were going to Value City, but we got good stuff there, and we were going to designer stuff. You would sometimes let us go in a little spree before before designer stuff on the cheap wasn't around. It's TJ Max. Is that where you went shopping and TJ Max. That's mom was like a big spender, not on you guys, on herself. She'd buy me a shirt that was like collared with a zipper in the and I'd be like,

who do you think I am? Like, you don't even know me, mom, because it was I remember she bought me and my brothers all denim vests recently and we're like, who are who? Do you know? Did you wear them? M No, I think I tried to sell them? Probably would. She saw it on Facebook, Marketplace couch. I typed in. That's another one of my search invest It just come. I don't even have to type. It in comes right up now. Well, you before school every year we did

a big shopping because it's the best. I loved remember buying school supplies. That was felt so good too. The smell of an office back and the smell of oh new markers and like that new binder, and you'd get a three ring because I was like, this is a

year I'm going to be organized. And you would get the little dividers that you put the subjects in the you write it on the white little slip of paper, and then you'd slide it into that little tab and you'd be all prepared, with all your classes lined up, and then within day two it's all gone to ship. I never once kept all my notes in a single notebook or for a class. I was never I never look like like hurricane hit them. Within some days I

have more paper that fit in them. And then a defense attorney for like a man a mash show where I'm just like it over my head every day. Yeah, they're all falling out of the bag. Remember the metal. The metal for some reason, and all my blind always ended up crooked, slam it into our back backs. We're the same person, and they would just get crunched, and then they would get and then you have to bend them back and yes, and then the paper would always rip and get caught on them. Fuck that. But I

loved a three ring butter. The smell of that, like whatever covered the plastic smell. And I love the sme pencil break. I like playing pencil break. I missed Oh where you like flick the pencil and someone else the pencil? Oh yeah, I mean I feel bad for those pencil I love a freshly sharpened pencil and writing on it. The best feeling that goes like is when sharpened pencil perfectly, not the kind where it's like half of it is like the lead in half is the other part, the

wood part. Don't you hate when your tip of a pencil is half wood? Do you want talk about where they get kind of like oh yeah, bent and the sharpener and then you're writing and it's like you're like, what about when you don't have a sharpener? What about you have a sharpener? So you bite the pencil to get to the lead, but then you get the lead in your mouth? Okayer really from trying to throw a pencil out of a car and it stuck into my

finger and I just never took it out. And then I was like, ten years later, I was like, I lead poisoning. That's why I'm so fucked up. And then they're like it's graphite. Remember, everyone's like Norah, it's like, don't lie to me, you have graphite poisoning. All right, let's go to final thought. Let's do some fan traxes. Oh no, yeah, all right, what do you guys have

for us this week? Uh? So, I wanted to read a quick comment from our YouTube page, the Nicky Glazer Podcast, which you can go subscribe to you right now to see all this on video. So as much as you're hearing is Julie's voice, you can also see her on there. Oh god, don't look. I love it. You think that you're about anything about yourself, and I'm whatever anyone goes, You're beautiful. It really hurts me to hear you talk about yourself like this. Listen to where I came from. Okay,

I'm sorry, it's me. I'm talking about me. It's my problem. It's my problem. Has that song? It's me, Hi, I'm the problem with me. I'm the problem. Yeah alright, okay, So this is from the Singing Sunflower, and the common is about astronauts and space. Remember we talked about that. That is all about perspective and you can get that from just traveling to just seeing how other people live. Just moving away from your hometown gives you a lot

of perspective. Have you ever compared your friends or relatives that have lived in their hometown their entire lives with those that have studied or worked someplace else or just moved. It's all perspective, and it's very good to get more of it. How did that person get allowed to write a YouTube comment when they are so cogent and clear and concise and sweet and smart. That should have been blocked immediately on YouTube? Was it all in caps and dispelled?

Did you translate that from? How? Is there no hate speech in that? Was there like eleven exclamation marks at some point anywhere? Was? Yeah? What? How? I have never heard something so articulate on YouTube? We're the best watchers, including listeners. Yeah, that's true. I mean, don't don't you agree? Mom? Traveling makes you? What have you learned in your travels? Well, I mean moving to St. Louis. I mean traveling is just looking since St. Louis, it's just such a culture shock.

I learned about different chilies, not at all, it's different. And the restaurant and the food, oh my god, yeah, they're all different. Getting married? Who knows to think about Oh yeah, away different. Um, you've been a Hooters yeah as a child, but mom, we didn't know what it was. We read Florida and I remember the earliest memories. How old do you think I was? You're probably remember, Okay, it's not my earliest memory, but I was. We went from We're going to the outlet malls all day and

it was so we were so hungry. At the end of it. My mom was like, we'll just go here, and we into this we my mom thought was like an owl themed rust. I thought a family no. And we go in and I remember knowing something was wrong, like I remember clocking it and being like because it would not stick in my memory otherwise, but there was something. I remember all these men at the bar. We walked in, they were on the left side. They all turned around

and like we didn't belong there. And then we get sat and there was not any kid's menu at this time at Hooters. I think, now there's a kid's menu, and we were set and I remember the woman coming up and she was very nice but like kind of like worried, like are you guys okay? And I remember you must have been When did you figure out well immediately when we after we sat down and the waitress came when and I was like, oh my god, this

is a gentleman's club or something. Yeah, And I had no idea what, my god were your daddy had a business trip. It was in Tennessee or he was at another Hooter, or on the other side it was Nashville or something I thought was Florida. In Florida. I grew

up in Florida. We'd go to Hooters with the dads, like after games and it'd just be like four kids and four dads and the dads are like, yeah, good, Like it was like a like coming of age kids, whereas my mom was like my mom and I were just staring in front of the mirror picking out parts of our body we hated, and she was like, this is your coming up. This is how you become a woman. And then guys are like, and here's how you become a man. Go judge Nick. That was I just so

I don't know how we got to that. Because one more fan trax, but thank you so much for that comment from the sunflower Kiding or whatever whoever was so nice singing the singing sunflower. Yes, um here okay, we have to go out with this one. Here is one from Laddie, Hi, Andrew, Nicki and Noah. It's Lofty from the UK. I had a quick note about Pooh so in one of your episodes we were talking about how if you move your pelvis back and forward help get the Pooh going and stand up, sit up straight. As

an eternally constipated person, this has changed my life. It was last bits of poos that you just can't squeeze out about it. And then the second though related thing is when you were talking someone could feel the Pooh with their penis when they were having set. And I have to say that I'm actually at my most horny when I need a Pooh, and I don't know if it's because it makes the canals thinner, so it's more pressure,

really hard when I also need a Pooh. And Nikki, as someone who likes you know what, I'm surprised you don't like it too, because it kind of feels like that with some cookney rhyming slying hopefully you know what it means, but it's a Jack and Danny Jack and Danny means funny. Um. Lottie, your voice is amazing for stuff and I don't know, you gotta go. I'm gonna make this fast. Um, I'm so glad that solution helps you. Mom.

This is the consta solution. You sit up straight and then you rock back and forth, like right with the angle at your pelvis and you rock back and forth, and if you have a little bit of poo in there, it like will squeeze it out and um, and it really does work. Whenever that last bit where you're like, oh God and you can't push anymore, it like really

helps it go up. And then um. Also, I do think that I would get turned on if I had full bows during sex, but I usually don't because I want to not I want to use that space, and so I'm usually like I hope he doesn't try to go up there. So it just causes anxiety more than like, oh,

this will feel really great. And I bet you a full colon or like slightly full coal and when you have sex feels really good because I recently heard that anal actually feels good to women because there is a pressure point there that accesses the G spot almost better sometimes on certain women than um, your vaginal canal. So I bet you your full pooh. Your pooh is pressing on that part, and that is why you're getting more turned on. It's not because you're just like a dirty

ship whore, you know, like there's a reason why. Like some people think that women that like anal are just like disgusting, and it's like, no, it actually feels good. We're not. We have different bodies than maybe people that don't enjoy it as much. And also if someone's saying you're disgusting, just tell them with a British accent and if it sounds fantastic, Oh my god, that's she could have said anything. She say anything. She's like, oh, we

kill everyone can calling it everyone. They're all bleeding right now, and we're like, wow, that's so cute. I feel like I support it. Con six remember that. Okay, we gotta go. Thank you guys so much for list Thanks for everyone coming in Austin. We had a lot of Bestis last night. It means a lot and I really I went on the live and someone said they had just gone to it and had a lot of fun. Yeah, it was a lot of fun. Thank you. That's great. Thank you

to Besties for all your support. You guys are the freaking best. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Um, don't be care And Mom, do you know any famous people with the jack? Any famous people with the last the first name is Jack Jack. Now okay,