#291 Be A Colleen

I can it sounds like I'm doing a podcast with a walrus. Oh really, because I ate a lot of turkey, and you know how to make me tired. Turkey turns no again, do not turn up the volume to it. But whatever I was hearing, did you hear it? I don't keep my headphone. Is that loud? Because I listened to audio all day, but on the playback I always do hear it, and I just want to isolate a track of sound. Someone was sleeping during what I was saying. That's why I was triggered by it. I was like,

I get it sounded like someone was mocking me. You know when people you start talking about something someone doesn't care about, and you go, yeah, that's so you moved to l A did Yeah. Um, okay, so I said it really fast, I guess. But Chris has a job out here working on Chris can I announce? Oh yeah, oh yeah, he says, everybody watch it. Okay, Beauty and the Beast Live, which is not exactly live this year on ABC on ABC UM and Disney Plus. Right after he has all the details, Um it is have have

the cast been announced? Babe to it's all of them? Okay, Tony Tony Fields, is that a person he's at totes. I don't think that's a person. Okay, So, um, yes, it has been announced. Beauty and the Beast is what he's working on. And Patton Oswald. The other day when we were hanging out with Patton, um, we were all I was introducing to him, tell my friends and of course my boyfriend, and I was like, oh, yeah, Chris

is working on Beauty and the Beast live. And he's like he thought Chris was like playing you know, the Grandfather Clock or something. Yeah, he thought he thought he was in the cast it was cute. Um. But now he is in the production team, which a lot of people don't know what producers do. Um. I know I didn't back in the day, like before I did TV, I was like what is I mean, No one's a

producer on our radio show. It just means the person it's I mean not really, it's just people that are do every like that figure out what the show is going to look like, what it's like. But there's different kinds of producers. There's like producers that work directly with

the talent and they are just there too. There are producers that come up with what the creative is going to be their writers, and then the writers work with producers and sometimes the producer's pitch creative ideas, the writers execute those sometimes the writer's pitch and then the producers executed. But the producers are the ones that like wrangle everything together, get like figure out who's going to direct it, who's

and then they they just they produce it. Um. But it's it's a it's a it's a thing that means a lot of things, you know, like it can it can be a lot of different um things. But he's producing um parts of the show, and um, yeah, it's gonna be on. I didn't I didn't see his He did Little Mermaid Live, which was on ABC right before the pandemic, and I didn't watch because we were not together. But um, it was great. It was a great experience for him. He's back on Beauty and the Beast Live.

It's not it's going I'm gonna go to one of the tapings, but it's taped and then it airs later. But Shania Twain is on it, her h E. R is playing bell Um, David Alan Greer, Josh Grobin, and then today he gets Chris's meeting with Mark Short. Uh. I don't know who's the Beast. I don't know, but he's in the bathroom. So um, yeah, rocked us everything. So anyway, that's why I'm out here for that's unreal.

So's yeah. So he's going to a rehearsal today and he's going to meet all these people today to work with them on the thing that he is working on. So that's why I'm out here. And while I'm here, I'm just doing sets and people's podcasts and hanging out and Chris and I are cohabitating and trying that on even though we've we've done it before before we broke up the eighth time or something and then, um, but now we're back to doing it and it's going great.

Last night we watched Love Is Blind. Um, we are on the I think, oh, we finished it. We finished this whole batch that's up now. It's such a good show. Andrew, you, did you watch any more episodes last night? I'm three in I watched White Lotus last night. Actually, I don't know if you've seen that. The new season came out. Yes, I have not seen it, but I love that joke. It's so dark. It's great Mike White who created that show and probably an ep A producer on it and

wrote it. He did The Good Girl, he did Um Enlightened, he did School of Rock. I mean, this guy is an amazing, prolific writer. I love him so much. And um, I've always been a fan. Yeah, So it's is it better this season or like, what's the vibe? And are all the episodes out or is it just like a couple just one they're only pointing out one a week. No, I know, it's so annoying. I hate why is that? Going back to the way things are done. I don't

know something with the numbers. I'm sure you know. Yeah, it's a numbers game. It's definitely a numbers game. I wish I do three at three out of times perfect. I feel like, just give us. It's still a lot. Three hours to spend watching TV is a gross amount. Chris and I did it last night, but it is too much. It's too much to spend on anything in three hours, whether you're working like just consecutive. But Love is Blind is fun because you can just like not

you can half watch it white lotus. You've got to be paying attention. It's a scripted show. Reality shows are great in that way that you can just kind of sit them out and then you can something big is happening because the music will shift. Yes. No. The first episode of like I project so much of like Love

is Blind. What it does to you is it go, oh, this person is not gonna like this person because they're this and it's like all your own ship that you're dealing with, Like, oh, they're not gonna like him because he's too short. Oh she's too you know, out of shape,

or she's or he's too annoying or whatever. I guess you can get annoyed by the by what they say, but like, I don't know, it's funny what you think what someone's gonna like and and why and really just comes back to your own insecurities and all your own ship before they actually meet up. If anyone's watching it, I have absolute faiths. I love um Brennan. I guess the guy that ended up with the bigger girl, the

bigger girl there. This is the first time they've had like a girl that is definitely a plus size girl on the show, and like she is in the most successful relationship on it. She uh the guy like didn't have any hesitant, Like it was just so nice, and she did not tell him. There was no indication that like she was going to be bigger, Like it was just awesome to see like that did not fucking matter to this guy. And he's like one of the most

attractive guys on the thing. And like, I don't know, I just I didn't I didn't think it would be a big thing because he's such a nice guy that I was just like, Oh, he doesn't care. He just loves this girl. They fall in love so hard through these walls and it's like they spend the rest of the time once they see each other going we gotta get back to the pods. I'm like, build a wall

in your house, like like to have to recreate that Roman. Yeah, they were ahead of they but there is something about have you ever had a relationship happened over the phone and it's so intense and then you meet in person and you're like, this doesn't translate. I've never done that, but like my college girlfriend, I would talk on the phone for our follow Yeah, we met through glory Hole. I tried to put my dig through it, but the wall was a little too thick. It was like it

was like one extra code of hardwall drywall. Yeah, it wasn't even the drywall. It wasn't even where you put the paint. Swin Williams, Sirwin will sucked you. But we got through that. I didn't, uh, But it is remarkable because I've watched now seven episodes of the show, and like once they get out of the pods where they meet where there's a wall between them, their relationships start falling apart. And it's funny because they see the other

people that they connected with in the pods. So they're in the pods and they're all meeting each other and they all become friends. All the guys and the girls like live together at the time, so they're all friends and they hang after the show after they all get engaged. They all get engaged while there's a wall between them by the way they meet each other, and they're all

like head over heels for each other. When they meet each other, it doesn't matter, like there's maybe a little hesitancy, but it's because they're just nervous, like generally, they're like so happy with their decision. And then they meet the other people for the first time. They see the people they either rejected or that rejected them, and then they go, oh, wait,

like she looks really good. He looks really good. And they all do this thing where they go up to each other and they go like, in the real world, you and I would be together, like I would have

walked up to at a bar. You realize that so much of the show is so much of everything is based on looks, like, but these people have truly had to make matches based not on looks at all, And you wonder, like, what what if your own relationship would be able to exist if you if you weren't if you weren't as attracted to the because they're Some of them are like, she's not the person I would have gone for in the real world, but we have a soul connection that is so strong that and then then

they fight for it and they still want it and they're still in love. It doesn't like ruin it. It's a case it a little bit, and it definitely creates drama because there's this one girl, Zenub who you can tell it is very insecure about her face and her body, like she's always covering her face and she doesn't have makeup on and she and then there's this other girl, Colleen,

which everyone calls Colleen, but it's very much Colleen. I don't understand what they're all from Dallas, so I guess it said Colleen there, so I am confused, confused by that. And but she it's funny because she is, like I on camera on on TV. She's attractive, there's no doubt about it, but they keep calling her like a bombshell, a goddess, like she's she is a stunner, like they're talking about her like she's a supermodel. She is not.

Even Colleen would admit she's not a supermodel. She's not like super thin and tall and like has like a striking face. Like they are talking about her like, but they don't. When you're in a bubble, they don't know,

like you change your levels. Colleen is the most attractive of the bubble, so for them, that's Giselle all of a sudden, and they all talk about her, and then Zenab is like, I'll never be a Colleen, and it's like you are so close to being like And even her husband is like her boyfriend husband to be fiance, Cole Cole, he's like and they all love Jesus so much, which is a little bit of obnoxious thing, but it's

also like, yeah, it's kind of um. So I love Cole so much, by the way Cole and Matt I love, I love Colleen, and I love um Raven. I used to not like Raven because she was doing like push up. I felt like, you will be won over by cool. He is the best. I love her, give him a chance, but all the seventh episode, I know I agree with you. I was the same. I was just bar Te's is

cool too, but he's twenty five. You've got to remember, like, do you ever do that with your girlfriend, Like you remember, they're much younger and they haven't been through as much like yeah, like do I mean, like I sometimes I do that with like even my friends who are older or younger, Igo, like I have to be a little bit more gentle, like they're not going to get my references like it's or they're they're just or I have to tell Anya like I'm younger than you like or

you know, I'm kind of stupid sometimes, you know. But anyway, so Bartisse is, yeah, twenty five, he's with the thirty year old, which they act as like the biggest age difference ever because she, of course is a woman, so five years is like she's a pedophile or something and so um but then, uh, what was I gonna say, Oh, Cole, they just keep So it's just so much of this

is driven by women's insecurities. It's so sad. So many of the fights are about these Cole being like, hey, sorry, Like I told Colleen that on the outside we would probably be a match, like I would go for her. I'm sorry, she's like a ten out of ten and you're a nine out of ten. And Zenneb is like, I can't handle that, like, I cannot handle that I'm less attractive to you, And he's like, but I don't want to be with her. I broke up. I broke up with her in the Pods because we have no

soul connection. Women don't give a funk about soul connection. We give an about attractive. This. This is why I don't have a problem with that. If Chris was to say another woman was more like, he would get more like because I know that Boner's become more about affection, like emotion to be insane to think that he doesn't think someone's more attractive than you than you. I mean, that would be wild for my girlfriend to look at Brad Pitt next to me and go, you know what,

you're better looking. You're just like more attractive to me, Like to my eye can handle it. This girl cannot handle it, and she goes, I'll never be Kaleen, I'll never be that hot, and it's like, actually, you actually could be. It's like difference, which is not even I don't agree that that's hotter, but that's what she's looking at. It is like she's thinner than me, and I'm like, it's not like that big of a I don't know.

I feel like the show everyone is like your standard like seven, Like everyone except Cole is actually like he does look like a very cute. Yeah, he's the best looking of the bunch. It is. It would be really weird if they just added like a supermodel, like like a insane like just throw that in there just to see, like, because I feel find any supermodels that want to do this show. That's all they who wants to meet through a wall? I think, I mean, otherwise they would have them.

Supermodels are like they I don't have a person super models, No, they don't have a personality. They can This is the Heidi Klum thing, Like she needs to have a vacation from being the hottest one in the world. She has to dress like a grub worm on a red carpet because that's a fun like vacation for her. She's so weird. I mean that that costume is going down to one of the funniest things that's ever existed. Wait, did you hear the cording of her on the red carpet? I

gotta play it. It is so funny, so funny of it's um you know, the early uh bird catch the worm and she's on the way, let me rolling around. You know what they say, the earliest aren't catches the work. You know what they say, the earlies aren't catches the work and what they say, and the earliest aren't catch the early bird catches. I love that, like on the inside of my asshole. Asshole doesn't even look that way. I bet it's like contard and hot, like, I bet

it's like thin. She's like, yeah, what does that remind me of? That? Does it run you? Like spaceballs? Like there's some like that little face like in a big round thing like it really creepy. I hate it so much. I quiz no hand a little bit like that kind of feel like when the hand of creepy little hand it was a hand, I think it was like I think those were just like little reds. Okay, so those guys I love that shops. Yeah, that's almost like the

sounds like, yeah, that's what she sounds like. The little but yeah, I know what you're pizza hut you're maybe thinking of. Yes, I never watched it because it creeped me out so much. I don't like that. I don't like a little face with a bunch of meat around it, like a big like a moon face, like even like I don't like that, and with those like weird creepy like yellow eyes with no eyebrows. I I can't do it. Um. And then we watched another show last night that I

really recommend called Alone. Um. It is on and you got me into it. It's on the History Channel. It's been on for eight seasons, but it's on Hulu, and it's about it's a survivalist show. It's like Naked and Afright, except they're not naked. These are they're actually equipped to survive in the wilderness with you know, they have minimal supplies, but they have like fishing line and they can bring four things and then they get all these other things

like bear spray and stuff. Because these the season I'm watching is the latest one and they're in the like Alaskan wilderness where there's like grizzly bears and it's fucking nerly. Ten people start out and they're all going after like a I think a half a million dollars. Ten people start out and they're all in different places. They're not like with each other. They're truly alone. They don't have

any camera men. They all have like four cameras that they're given and they're probably trained to use, and then they go out and then it's um and then they push a button when they're ready to tap out. And the first person tapped out after five days, and then that never I kept myself was a celebrity up on the boat. I would tap out on the boat right over. No, I mean out of here tickets. No, I wouldn't because I don't like I don't like that stuff. I don't

like the wilderness. I don't like UM. I don't like being hungry with my life. I know it would be. So it's hard, though to watch because these people are so hungry, they're so alone, and I'm only on the second episode when they're like ten days in, you know, or five days in like they do the first five on the first episode, the other five and then there's one person left and there's no time limit. It goes for as long as until someone is the last person. And in the past it's gone like a hundred and

ten days. Like any was telling about other things, they have to they have to hunt. All these people grew up like living off the land, and they all have survival skills. They all come from different backgrounds. There is a lot of hunting. There's a lot of hurting animals in this which, I it's hard to watch, but it is a fucking good show. And Chris even said after we watched two episodes, he was like, that was a good, this is good pick, Like, we're excited about this show

and there's so many seasons to watch. So, um, Noah, would you ever do a show like that? You probably would? Um, I think I probably would if Av could be my partner, because he's no, you don't get a partner for them. That's a big thing. Some of these people are so good at surviving, but they but they don't know about loneliness. They've always been survivaling, like with camping with other people. You don't know what it's like to actually be alone. And a lot of people have never Oh I'm good

with loneliness, but I don't know how to survive. But I can handle being alone in a living room, but with your phone and with a Like, you don't understand what it's like. These people are like, you underestimate what

it's like to be alone. And also they don't know what it's like to starve, Like they don't know what it's these people are survivalists, but they've never starved, like they've never been starving, and they have to decide whether they're gonna make a shelter or hunt the first couple of days, like what are they gonna waste their calorie reserve on? And they get the shelter made and then they have no food and they have no energy to go hunt. It's crazy. But I was like, I've starved before.

I know what that's like. Like I can say that I've done more on this show than most people watching at home, Like most people are like people have hunted, but or not like these people. I've actually starved like these people. And I had to go to fucking school. I had to go do stand up. I had to go pretend like everything was okay. I did go on dates. I had to go be friends with people I hadn't so I feel like I was like, Oh, it's just it's also called alone, and it's just I think that's bad.

You think hunting salmon's hard, imagine Yeah, how about yeah, making out with the guy when all you can think about us food and you can barely stand up. No, you don't want to do anything, No, if anything I would make out with guys and be like, I hope I don't get calories from the food stuck in their teeth. That's how insane the antarectic brain is. We've gotta go a break. We'll come back with more fun facts after this. All right, we're back. Welcome back to the show, Andrew.

What are you singing? I get so weak in the knees I can I thought I heard Chris say something like Chris, Chris overheard our conversation. He said when I said that I would like be almost fainting making out with the guy he'd said, He said that the guy probably thought I was weak in the knees. I'm so weak and then knees. I can hardly breathe. I don't control inside inside of me. Oh, I didn't really get really Aliyah, I don't know. I mean, I'm guessing it's

someone like that. Someone died w V. She died in a plane crash. Yeah, left, I died in a car crash. That's right and right eyes fine? Oh no, no, so so I watched alone. Um also went, um, what did I do yesterday? I got my hair done, which is kind of four hundred dollars. No, five hundred dollars with after Tip didn't get a haircut. Everyone just got my hair with Hills. I did not because my uber was running late. It was sixteen minutes away, so I go just blow it out. But I tried to. I tried

um because I was good. I said, um, I like I was on vocal Rest yesterday after the pod and I was like tight to her, like I want to leave with wet hair. I'm going to the gym after this, because Chris and I were going to go to the gym, and she was like, oh my god, like you worked so hard, you got into town just last night, you flew all day, you went to this, you did this, and now you're going to the gym. And I'm like, I don't really want to go to the gym, but

I have a soft body. My body is getting soft lately. And also like, um, I like like Chris and I like to have like little time together, like quality time. That's I think. I think that's your love language. I think that's his love language. And so I said, you know, I want to spend more to the quality time with Chris. And my body is getting soft. I said, my buddies get soft. I want to spend more quality time with Chris.

That's his love legg and she she goes having a soft body and I was like, yeah, that's too a video yesterday they're like, I don't know why guys asked their partners to go to the gym with them. If I wanted to sweat and be insecure, I would just suck you. Yes, that's funny. Yeah, we don't even like if we go to the gym, I'm on the treadmill. And the gym that he goes to actually is pretty

perfectly laid out. There's like a row of treadmills at the top like overlooking like almost like a Romeo Romeo like a balcony, and then below is all the men working out and like some women but like mostly men just lifting. And I guarantee you because all the mostly women are on treadmills like it's it's that's kind of like a more woman thing. And all these women are

lined up watching the men can feel us watching. And what is more motivating at a gym than knowing that the opposite sex that you know is watching you so much to run faster to see Chris doing like lap pool downs. Yeah, well it did because I was like, if he looks up because he kept looking up there and we would like smile and make eye contact, and I was like, when he looks up here, I want

to be like working hard. So it did motivate me, like I wanted to look like pretty cool, you know, Like it does motivate even though like it doesn't I don't care about looking cool around Chris, but like it's still I still wanted to look like sexy and cool. And looking sexy makes you stand a certain way, makes you like have a certain like it get it, Like if you think someone's looking at you, you're gonna stand differently, You're gonna have better posture, and it's like it's all

those things. So that was like that girl was so devastated on love is blind, I think because I guess I know that most girls would feel the same way she does. But this guy cannot get out of this, Like she's never going to forgive him for for saying that this girl would be more his type on the outside world. Like he he is in the doghouse for the rest of his life. And I think he should break up with her because if she can't get over this, he is apologized. He said, I could have lied to you.

Do you want me? And she's like, oh, that would have been so hard to do, Like she wanted him to lie to her, and it's like do we want that? Like I don't want that? Um, I don't. I guess I don't. We Chris and I watched and we were like, yeah, his his conversation with Colleen, the girl he didn't pick but who he'd be more tricked to do, was a

little inappropriate. He was definitely feeling his zennob is a little bit more controlling and passive aggressive, and they were not doing well when he talked to Colleen in the pool, and so he was definitely flirting with Colleen. Colleen shut it down so hard, but in a polite way, being like, oh, yeah, you're attractive too, and then her boyfriend. She told her boyfriend about the conversation because she wanted to be transparent, and he fucking snapped and like would not hear her

out about it. And it's like, you just watch these relationships, Seterior. It's all because these people don't have self esteem and they they they look to it from their partner. They have no other way to gauge that they're worthy of love then if their partner is attracted or like them. And Nancy is someone who has enough self esteem that Bartise says he's into Raven more so, and she's like, okay, well what are you gonna do about that? Like she

is not going anywhere. She's just like, okay, well this is who I am. And if you don't like it, fine, I love you. But like, if you don't like me this way, she's a little bummed out, like who wouldn't be? But she and Nancy is a bigger girl, She's not. Zainab is closer to looking like Colleen than Nancy is to looking like Raven. So if you want to see a healthy person with good self esteem, look at Nancy on this show. And if you want to see someone who could have such a full, great life who is

just paralyzed by it, look at zen Ub. And it sucks because I relate more to zen Up than I do to Nancy. And I think if I were Nancy, I would feel so much worse because she is so much further from being what the guy wants. Then Zenom's actually and it was funny because he goes he's he said less like Cole was like I was in the Pods and usually I go for a girl's name Lily or Colleen, and your name was Zeneb. I didn't think you were going to look like them. I knew that

it was gonna be different. I signed up for that because I love you for you, like, I never expected you to look like them. I didn't want that. It's not like you disappointed me, like and then I thought was a good point to um, but I feels devastating. I guess I feel like, um, you know, if you're so hard on yourself and you have insecurities, like the person doesn't even see him until you bring it up. A lot of times if someone's insecure, it's like I

didn't even realize. Yeah, you don't like that, I hear you. I really hate that because I want to be able to tell Chris everything I'm insecure about and have him not like suddenly go, whoa, she does have a flat ass? WHOA she her arms are kind of flabby, like, and I feel like sometimes in relationships you don't share that stuff, which you should be able to share if you're having

a hard day about. But I think that's suddenly yes, naturally it's it's impossible to like go here those negative things and go oh okay, like because I want you want to focus on him, the other the partner want to focus on it. They would be, oh, you do have a flat ass? Okay, that wasn't even a thing that I was even Yeah, I mean you too, but it's exactly like I don't care about that kind of thing. Like I I totally agree with you like you sometimes

see it. Like I used to get really scared about telling Chris about things I was insecure about because I was like, he won't be then suddenly I will come out from the wall and he will see and he won't love me because he won't be able to stop focusing on this thing. But um, I feel very secure that I could look anyway and this guy would still like me. Is that true? Yeah, true story. He's like he just whispered in my ear. Make sure you go

to plot sec. Well that was weird, okay, that it is funny, like when I would do, um, what's that flywheel or what's the other one? What her the pikelines? Well that's the thing peloton you do alone, you don't have when there's a woman's butt in front of you. You almost feel like you're chasing her, like creepy way.

You're like, I'll catch up to you. I'm coming for you, and it pushes you, but peloton, You're you need like a fake ass that I would compete with women on treadmills next to me, because if I got on a treadmill and I got on after this girl had already been on, there's no way I'm getting off before she gets off because I've gotten on after. And I also am always wanting to go at least point too faster than her and on an incline that's bigger than her,

because I need to be the best. And then I had a joke that I would scoot my treadmill up just a little bit so I'm always winning. I'm always like actually physically moving it. Yeah, yes, I told you.

One time, my little brother, we we saw someone fall on a treadmill because we were doing this thing where we work out, we lift and then we jump on a treadmill while I was still on, and this couple came on, came in, I want to get your treadmill was on, Oh my god, and this woman it was all slow motion but also so fast at the same time, and she just gets on and she can fast. Oh my god. So Sam sees it and say keeps running because he's so afraid of confrontation and doesn't know what

to do. But he's trying to run away from his problems. But he's staying right there. It was just so and the guys like I finally came over there and they're like, look, I don't mind that you guys kept it on. I don't mind that she fell, but this fucking guy never stopped running. I don't understand how you cannot stop. And they called him out. Yeah, befora thinking you're invisible, Like you guys both have coping mechanisms that are just stay

there but don't try to disappear. Yeah, so weird. The best part about it is we watched it with the doorman and it was all in like black and white. It looked like a chaplain Charlie Chaplin, and we're like, foo, she's fine. I mean she was so I wanted to be in a wheelchair. Yeah yeah, yeah, I mean she was already in it, so well then it shouldn't have

affected her. She should have now she actually moved it held to the l seven which, God, did you see that story about that girl that wouldn't get a chiropractic adjustment? Young girl, and now she can only talk by blinking. What the hell he like did some thing on her neck and she's just a young college student and completely paralyzed her. And now and she had a heart failure and it was like her like she and now she's like hooked up to all these machines and she can

only communicate by blinking. And she was a healthy, normal girl, just going to school, studying for finals, feeling like her neck hurt from like looking over at a textbook all day, and she went to get I would never get an adjustment, I was sorry, chiropractors. I know a lot of you think it's like I would never. I just, first of all, I just I've never I don't know they're I wouldn't ways say I've never heard of anyone feeling relief from them.

But the one time I had one, I was given, I was a sexually assaulted during it, and he kissed my he like licked the tears off my face because they started He made me cry from the adjustment. Something snapped and I started crying, and then he sucked the tears off my face and kissed my forehead and this was all done. This was some guy that um my friend had hired, but she was on tour and she hired this guy that was like Madonna's healer, and he was such a fucking fraud. He was one of these

guys that's like, lift up your arm. Okay, I'm gonna say a food and when I pushed down on your arm, I'll be able to tell that food is good for your not so you'd be like blueberries and he pushed on your arm. Go, you need more of those strawberries you need. He was just such a fucking phony. And I went in this room with him and he and I brought Luigi with me because he was with me. We were all in this hotel room, was just us and a bunch of girls that were on this trip

with this girl. And Luigi's on my chest, like sitting on my chest as I'm laying on my back getting the stunt, and he's growling at this guy hardcore because he could just sense. And then the guy made me cry by adjust like you could do adjustments that make people cry, like for sure, like they just cut open and he's asking me about my boyfriend, and I was having troubles at the time, so I just start sobbing

and he licks. He sucked the tears off my face and I got such a bad migraine that night from the adjustment. I was throwing up. I could barely go to my friends show. Anya had to talk me off the ledge. I was so, I've never been sicker from an adjustment, so, um, I will never got the licking. I can't believe he lied. It was the adjustment that was just like it was so. It wasn't like it was sucking. It was. It was so weird. Um, do

you guys go get chiropractic adjustments? I went one time and I was wanting to get cracked because I watched these videos on TikTok and ship and I'm like, it's like a SMR for me seeing people get sucking their lumbar broken apart and then they're like, oh relief, Yeah, like oh my god, I could see Jesus now and

it's like, really, yeah, he's standing next to you. Used to but um, I I felt like, uh, So I went in to get it and the guy went through all my ship and he looked through like an X ray and he's like, yeah, I don't feel comfortable cracking you. I'm like, how bad is my YEA? Too far away? I got turned away from a crack one down the street. No, No, it was like a guy who came to a show, and it was like, what did he tell you? Doesn't

that make you worried a little bit? But then I kind of just pretended it never happened, and I walked out and say, what did you say that? Like? My neck? My neck is like I don't know, like something would like he was looking at something that was like red and blue and he's like, that's too much blue to christ I'm not going to get an IVY today for inflammation because of my vocal cords. I'm going to get an IVY treatment with vitamin C and hydro weit. Um.

Wait what's it called? Hold on, let me look it up so people know it's it's supposed to be good for inflammation. Um. And that is what I'm having a lot of glutoth ione. UM. So I'm going right after this in an hour to get an IVY treatment. I thought those were just for people that I kind of think those are fake two, Like I'm just doing this because my vocal teacher recommended it, but I kind of think those are bullshit as well. Let's do one new story.

Okayst oh boy, it's Wednesday, folks. You know what that means. It is Wednesday. I hope you're having all the swells out there. Apparently we are. We believe in ivy dripping cracking the next. Okay, back to you know, I love you going. You know what, I don't believe in it, like I wonder how far I would go and anything. I'm really sorry to people who do, who are chiropractors, and because I know it takes a lot of schooling.

I just am scared of it. And I said, a bad experience I had and he's got too much blue. I went once and I really liked it, and um, he did crack my neck and I did not like that. So if I ever go back, I just will say, don't crack my neck, crack everything else. I want to get my bunyan's work. I would go there for bunyans. I think they do some bone stuff for bunyans that I think might be helpful. So I don't want to

don't please don't write me. I I know that that it does work for some people, or do write me let me know how. I don't care. And if they could crack a hemorrhoid that'd be great. Oh no, too much red down there, out your ass? Alright, alright, um. First news story. A man who was featured on a British television show called My Massive Cock, which follows well endowed men, has alleged that he was rejected from a

job because they thought he had an erection during his interview. Yeah, this guy has the biggest I set up this to Andrew. Whenever I see a cock related news stories, I always send them to Andrew. Yeah. I mean this guy's penis is it looks like he has a rodent and then he said a an honor. So he describes it as his penis is thicker than my forearm, he says, and he has a nine and a half inch penis. Share the one. Can you imagine if like any job, it isn't like it is a tough I mean, I guess

you just gotta buy bag of your pants. But or you have to say I have this affliction and come with a doctor's note or something, because I'm great at Microsoft Excel and my dick always looks hard. You know, when do you bring it up? Like, how do you bring it up? It hasn't hurt John Hamm and White loadus. The guy has like a fifteen inch penis and they show it through his life. It's like a whole thing. Get her going, but um to get her going? I

don't want to don't get it. I will say that I did this new thing that I encourage everyone to do. My on my Girl's Chat, we are talking about um Aubrey Plaza, and I'm just a a woid that she's a celebrity that everyone loves. No one doesn't like her. Every man likes her. She gets a pass because as a woman that's an entertainment and who men really don't like a lot of times and who just hate for no reason. I know that men only have a couple of women that they give the pass of like they're cool.

We like her, Aubrey Plaza. It annoys me how much men like her and everyone likes her. I've never met someone who doesn't like her. So we did this thing where we record our boyfriends. We asked them or husbands, We asked them, what do you think of Aubrey Plaza? And we get their responses, and it's just been so funny because all of them are like, she's cool, but it seems contrived, like they try to be fair about it, but they ultimately are all like, you know, she's she

they would and Chris made a good point. She's like that girl next door where they think they could get her, like Anna Kendrick like this, like she's not too hot, where they convinced themselves like yeah, I could get Alison Brees the same. Alison Bree is another one. No one doesn't like Alison Bree and I'm jealous. No one doesn't like Anna Kendrick and I'm jealous. And no one doesn't like Aubrey Plaster. These are all women that get a man passed for some reason, and yeah, Plaza, she does.

She's a very dry sense of humor, and so then therefore, no, there's that's a good point. That is a good point. She doesn't talk, and she they all think that they call her, they'd say she'd make fun of their penises because she's mean. That is another thing they're scared of her being like yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that's it. That guys really like that. And I'm not talking about all guys. I'm talking about Reddit guys you know who I'm talking about the ones that don't like women anyway.

Who I mean, it's um, it's just see a lot of women with like big big but like if they're curvy, they're not allowed to wear the same things that you know, non curvy women can wear. And like a lot of teachers are either getting fired or threatened to be fired if they wear that outfit. But it's a normal outfit.

They just have kids and asked and so yeah, we live in a puritanical society where you know sex is bad and your horror and um, like when I was even watching Love is Blind last night and they were talking about the birds and the beast conversation, no one's parents on the show gave them that conversation. My parents didn't have that conversation. Chris's parents didn't have that conversation. Why is it that every other thing as you're entering

into adulthood, your parents walk you through. You have to get a license, they take you out to drive, They teach you hopefully about like paying your taxes, which they don't actually, But I mean, this is a huge sex is such a huge thing, and they just go figure it out yourself. Figure out there's no there's nothing. Every parent is so hyper vigilant about every little thing their kids do, especially in this day and age, and there's no talk about sex. How how would you how would

you do? Let's role play. You're the parents on the kids. I want to hear how you would give the talk. You're my my teenage boy. Okay, Andrew, listen, I know this is not a conversation you want to have with your mother. I have to do it because my parents didn't have it with me. I'm gonna make it quick. Okay, Listen, You're going to start having sexual attraction to people. It's something everyone goes through. I know this is hell for Hugh to hear it from me. I'm so sorry you're

gonna start. Um you maybe you've already started experiencing it. I've noticed some, you know, very stiff parts of your laundry. I wouldn't say that, but I've been saying. Listen, I I've noticed a little on the carpet. Those are boogers. Those are a pond of boogers beneath your bunk bed. Um. Please, honey, don't get me, babe. We stopped doing that. That's only for your dad. UM. So I just want you to know that you nothing you're experiencing is that normal, It's

totally normal. Um. If you I noticed that you just got a girlfriend. UM, and you guys are gonna want to have sex, and I know you're gonna tell me, no, we're not, Mom, I don't want have sex. Even if that's true, Someday you're gonna want to have sex. And I just want you to know that it's totally okay. Yes, you can do whatever you want. I'm not going to tell you what to do with your body, but I'm telling you right now that you don't want a kid. And if you do have sex, you must wear a condom.

And if I find out you don't, it's you're gonna have hell to pay. Like you cannot not wear you can't feel the pussy with the condom on though. Mom, I promise you that someday you'll be with someone and you will be able to feel the pussy. You don't get to experience everything you want to when you want it, and you can feel the pussy with your fingers. You can you know, you know, go down on that. Do you know what that is? Okay, that's cool. Mom. If you don't wear a condom, you will be grounded. You

you must do that. And you know, I honestly don't think you should be have sex because I don't think you understand how connected women get when they have sex. So if you do have sex with a girl, you better expect to be there for her and to be her boyfriend afterwards, because she's going to want that. And if you and I know you think you don't want it. But you know how we learned about empathy, how everything you feel isn't what everyone else feels. Most people don't

learn about that until the thirties. I taught you that early because um, you know, that's the way. That's the thing that gets in everyone's ways. Everyone thinks they feel the same way. You are going to feel differently after this than the girl does. Okay, you're probably not going to care as much and be connected. It's your own thing. Mom, I think you're like putting here. Here's a book called getting to I Do for kids. It's just a it's it's a picture book that the fucking comes out. It's

just that guy's dick from the interview. It's a pop up that's what I think. I thought that was very good, But I feel like there's still details, like do we get into the details of like what you can ask me any questions. Yeah, but I'm not gonna I'm not gonna give details, and like it depends like if they have a girlfriend, I'm gonna say, you're probably kissing. You've probably seen porn before with your friends. That is not what sex looks like generally. Here is my special banging.

Here is my special good clean filth. This will answer some of the things for you about what happens in the bedroom and what you're not to do and what you are to do. And let's talk about what you've seen on porn. Oh, yes, do that. If your girlfriend is into anal, do that all day long. You're not gonna get anyone pregnant with that. You have to wear

a condom if it's anal. Mom, Yes, yes, because I just want you in the practice of where I get used to condoms, because that's going to be your life, son. And if you do get up girl pregnant, I'm not going to help you pay for it or do anything to do with it, because that is on you. You are if you are having sex you're be there to taking that response. Thank you. I'm not gonna help you there, Mom like you? Well, then I will sign us up for teen Mom because that will be a great season, son,

and we'll make some money off of it. All Right, we gotta go to break. We'll come back with a special Wednesday segment. Alright, we're back. It's Wednesday, so we're gonna do with a new special segment called build a Joke, which is where Andrew and I bring up a premise that we've been working on or thinking about working on, and we talk it through because we all need some help with our jokes. This is usually my least favorite

thing to do. But forcing myself to do it, oh yeah, I hate doing this because any line you get that is not I don't like any help with jokes before I bring them on stage because then I can prove. It's the same way about when I'm trying to write a song. Matt and Annya have been trying to help me there, like maybe you should co write with someone. I'm like, no, because that won't count as me doing my first song. So I have to at least one by myself. Then I can get help. But I need

to prove that I can do it. Um so I don't want to We're not yet. No, you said that to me. I have to watch that. Yes, okay. What what about that stood out to it? Was there anything that you can hear me right now? No one sent me a clip that was going to help me with songwriting and how I beat up myself about not working

on my stand up enough. So it was Rick Rubin talking about working with jay Z and how jay Z would go into the vocal booth not having written anything or like no lyrics that he had in his mind or anything, and he would just hear the music and he would start creating on the spot. And I feel like it's very much like how you write your jokes, like like in the moment. So there is something to say about the creative process and keeping it in the

moment and not like pre planning it. And I think he would feel very good hearing what Rick Ruben had to say about it. Maybe you need music before you write the lyrics instead of lyrics, and yes, yeah, that is a definite way. I read thing last night actually about uh songwriting and it's like, yeah, get get picked some chords, play them and then just start talking over them and like, yeah, get it out. I usually do that. I usually don't sit down when I'm trying to write

a song. I don't usually don't sit down with a a goal, especially and even with joke writing, it's like, I don't go, I want to write a joke about bikes. It has to be like, oh, I have this feeling about bikes right now, and I want to talk about it like it doesn't It's hard to Yeah. I mean, unless you're writing for like a show or something, then you really don't have a choice to like wait for inspiration. Um, Andrew, do you have a joke that you would like to present?

John Mayer actually had a thing about that, about not waiting for inspiration, just writing and not being so like attached to what it's gonna be, you know what I mean, and just like yes, So there is something too, like when we're just writing jokes for f boy, we might write some amazing jokes and we're not even don't even think of it that day, like we don't even care, we don't even give two ships about it. And there's something about John. I also think that, like people are

always like, how did you write that? I'm like I don't know. It just came out on stage and people are like, on stage you wrote that, whoa, And I'm like, but doesn't it come even if you're at Starbucks writing? Didn't it come from? No? I mean it has to show up at some place. But sometimes people are like, but when you're so much it's like but from an audience, there's like so much pressure, more pressure, and you have to say something and you just come up with pressure.

I think it makes what Yeah, I don't do Yeah, I don't like do good work when there's not pressure, when there's just like when it's just when I'm comfortable, like I just want to turn my brain off. There's no urgency, Like that's not going to create good stuff. But okay, the pressure is on Andrew. Yeah, there's so much pressure. So two Jews walk into a bar, right and when you is like cool and the other Jew is Rick Reuben, who's not that cool. No, okay, Uh,

I don't know. Something that's been happening in my relationship that like, um Brennan gets mad about my beard hair in the sink and uh like to the point where but what happens is is like guys try to clean up their beard hair, but even if there's like eight left, it's like I took a ship on her grandpa's graves. Like that's how angry she gets. And then I don't get angry. I just think it's hypocritical. But I and

I know it's not equivalent. I really do. But like hair in the shower from her head looks like the monster from the Ring is looking at me while I'm trying to wash my balls. And I'm not getting mad about that, So why are you getting so mad? And then we had a conversation where she was like, I just don't want to brush my teeth with your hair, and I was like, well, maybe a few more bristles will help, which started a whole another argument. And You're like, well,

I don't want to brush my teeth at all. I don't. I don't want Maybe that's why I don't. Um, that's funny. I get it. I get both of your perspectives, because but here's the thing, like, I don't I'm not being funny about this, but like I'm just being like, like I think oftentimes I've argued with you a lot about things, and every time I have, like when someone has something with you, you go, well, I don't. Will you do the same thing to me and it doesn't bother me?

And it's like we're different people, like it doesn't and I understand like not doing the same thing to someone if it's like, okay, if something bothers me, why would I do it to someone else? But it's like, because that doesn't bother I know it doesn't bother you, so I can. But when you do it, it does bother me. And I'm not saying like for me, but I'm saying does bother me? And I don't say it, which that agree agree? I agree with you. I think, I mean,

I already think the joke is funny. I think there is a little bit deeper things to like to that aspect of it. Of like I'm afraid of confrontation, so I'm not going to bring up there are so much harder. Why do MINUTE hate it so much? Because because it looks like you don't hate it, no, But I just think it's it's they're easy to wash down the sink. You just kind of like push water. But there's always like there's always like nine nine or ten. But before yeah, um,

I don't know why it's so annoying. But yeah, you're right, like you're scared of confrontation, like you that would be really interesting for you to get into like that, because I think a lot of people feel that way of like they're just so scared too, because your thing is you're scared to hear no, or you're scared to not get what you want when you ask for something, which

we all are. I mean like that. I learned that early when I told Chris I loved him when we were like six months in and he was like, I can't say it, and I was just like, wait, I thought that if I asked for this thing, you would just give it to me and then we'd be done. But he was like, no, I'm not saying it, like I don't feel it, and I was just like, and then you're just stuck in a relationship where you're not

getting this thing you want and that's too scary. So that I I learned from that never asked a man to say I never asked for something because if he can't give it to me, that's I'm not going to leave, even though I should have. Because I wanted this thing

he couldn't give it to me, I should leave. Like when you ask for things, and you you should be able to hear no and then have a plan for that no, because I think a lot of times we ask for things and think there's no way they won't say no, and then they do and you're like, how could you say no? And it's like, because that's an answer, and I think, and my brain is I go, Okay,

she's mad about this. But then if I get like mad about something else in the house, but I also know that she probably does more work around the house, I don't want to bring this up knowing that she probably has fifteen things in her mind that she's already pissed about. So I'm almost afraid to hear what my

truth is, you know what I mean. So it's like I'm not gonna bring this up because no offense too, because I think you both do this, but that that is just not feeling safe because that person is going to use things against you, like that they've been stored. Like that's just not good communication because that I used to be scared of that too, of like, I mean, that's my whole life is being scared of Ever, That's

why I was quiet in high school. I was scared that I would talk and then a boy would go, well you're ugly, and yeah, yeah, so they'll they'll or they'll go you know when there's the classic thing of like a girl gets hit on and she's like no thanks, and they're like, I wouldn't want you anyway, you fat horror, and you're like, okay, sorry, Like I'm so scared of rejecting men because they're gonna call me fat or ugly or whatever I'm feeling is a shameful thing to be

in my life that day. And you work with Chris right now, there's got to be things that annoy you around the house that you might not bring up. Because I told him, know, there's a thing he does vogue verbally that annoys me, and I told him for the first time ever because I thought it would hurt his feelings because he does it so much that I thought he would be like, you've been storing this all along, But it just I sometimes have a threshold for it,

and sometimes I don't. Like if we're ever on the phone and I'm like, hey, I gotta go because of this, he goes, well, I gotta go. Oh yeah, this thing just came up. It's just joking, but he goes like I gotta and I go. We don't need to do that, like I can, don't make me feel bad about having to go. And he's like, oh my god, I'm not. And he's like it's just a joke, like I'm just joking.

I'm like, I don't really care for it, Like I just don't every time, because I always get nervous when I say I have to go, because I know, because I know that that response comes from a little bit of an insecurity that someone has if you want the conversation more than them, like that they're let like you know, like even if it's a joke, it comes from that

in a miniscule way. And listen, we all feel that way when someone goes, well I'm gonna let you go or I have to go, You're always like, oh yeah, I have to go to like but he doesn't in over the joking way. So I think the other day I told him and he has just handled it so like he was just like he laughed about it that he was like light about it. And I am a mess around here. I mean, like I have so I'm much less clean than he has. He cleans the apartment. I am like I'll pay someone to do that, but

I'm not gonna do it. Um and I steal all his covers at night. He I'm trying to think of things he does that. I'm just like, uh, there's nothing between us every night? Oh like a beaver he built, like a love is blind for of pillows between us every night. I'm not joking you. There becomes like a sack pills. I can't even see him over it in between us. And I always seek my hand over and grab his dick through him and just like get him gas.

You're coming from Mexico or something. And I thought, I think he just like I always knew that he did this. And then last night I go, what is with the fort Like what is with the wall? Like why are we love is blinding in bed? And he's just like what do you mean? And I'm like, you build a fort every night? A fortress he built, like, uh, you know, a trading post between us every single night. And he's like no, I don't. I'm like you do you? What

are you talking about? Fortunate? And he's like, I just like a lot of pillows to like like spoon and and like I need that like he he has them there to grab them all night and spoon, and I've taken it as like this thing like he doesn't want me near him. He's spoon. He's like, I just put a like a brown wig on his body pillow. But it's not like you. It's not like but like I just want to spoon something like warm, but just not your body. Don't look like that body pillow. I'll lever

be that soft. I know that's your love language. I'm drop that's your body. Um, I feel like those but what you said, like now we laugh about the beard hair, Like now we're at the point where it's like you just gotta get it out open and it might start, it might start tense and angry, but I swear on the other side is just like a beautiful laughing Like Okay, I know I'm leaving pubes in there might be like now we were we we get it, you know what I mean. I'm not the gross one in our relationship,

like I'm the Andrew in my relationship. So I'm sure that Chris has I'm I'm definitely leaving things out that He's just like, can you just wipe off the sink, like there's just like orange makeup blots everywhere. Um yeah, I think that uh Trump passed out in the bathroom.

I get things in our relationship that aren't cleaning up and being tidy that and he I think he accepts me for that, like he I never thought I could live with a man because I was such a mess and I got shamed so much in my childhood of like, you're never going to get a date because of the way you eat, You're never gonna get You're never who how could? Who could live with you? And I just feel like I'm that is. I'm just not that insecure

about it anymore. And it kind of makes me like, I'm like you, like I kind of got my act together when living with someone because I just respect that they want a tidy place, so i'd like tidy up. And then I'm like, oh, this actually feels kind of nice. And then I do it for myself. But I have a little friend. If he never wants me to do his laundry, he doesn't want you to do never, I would love to do as long. I would love to, like because he's probably worried that you're going to shrink

him or something. He just likes to do his own stuff. I would love to cook for him. I would love to, but he doesn't want anything like domestic for himself done by me at all. And it's not because I'm like bad. He just wants to do it himself. And I get that. I totally get that final thought, what were you going to say? No, I I feel like you're like we both got you were saying how we get our act together?

Like we were joking how Brenna is like so tidy at times even though she kind of doesn't want to do it either. Like that's what you also learned that these people that are really tidy and stuff, they don't want to clean either, like they don't love it. You know. Yeah that that gets like it's good. Yeah, But but point being is that like her being like anal as actually really helped me mature like a lot. Like remember like two years ago, i'd have cups, you know, like

I've come along. So what are your what's your bit that your thinking about? I mean even you know, um I let me see um da da oh. I wrote this down the other day, like I often am like, oh my god, girl, where did you get? Like I always like see a girl that's like super hot and I want to look like her, and I and I always go like, where'd you get that sweater? Where do

you get those jeanes? Like I think that is the thing that's going to make me look like her, when it's really like where did you get those G G E N E s? Like where like I can't like this other day of this girl. There was a p A on the show I was working on, and she had on these jeans and she just looked so fucking good in them, and I was just like, where did you get that? And I was and I go, what am I asking? She's twenty two? What do I think

those Janes are a time machine? What am I? But I do that all the time where I think that this one piece of makeup or like I mean, then this is like this is the way we all operate. We see on Instagram a hot girl like showing us this makeup that makes her eyelash is super curled, and you're like, Oh, that's gonna make me look like that's gonna give me that girl's whole apartment. That's gonna give

me her life. Like it's just I really like the other day I stopped myself from asking this girl about her jeans because I'm like, she is going to be like, girl, this isn't it for you? Like this, you need so much more. This isn't gonna make you Colleen like and you were going to stay at zen up if you put on like Kylie Jenner's lip cloths, will that make your ask grow? Well? You know what I mean? You know it's like if I just do you know there? Yeah, I mean I think I've been talking about it on

stage so much. It's like my whole act is like right now about how you know, just being insecure and Instagram and celebrities telling you this is all they use

when it's like, okay, that's not the whole story. It's just like everything is lies, but the lies we tell ourselves about like this thing is going to change, this is the thing that's gonna But you know, it could be a funny button on that is you go and then I put the jeans on and I fu look just like her or like something like that could be, because it does sometimes give you calm, Like I'll put on something that I see like Anthony Bordaine weare, and for a second I'll be like, I'm I feel a

little cooler. I feel a little bit more confident, even if I don't look like it could be just a funny left turn. Is like, and then I fucking did all this ship and I gotta tell you I look exactly like. Well, my point is always like, I can't wait to lie to all. I can't wait to be famous enough that I get to have some skincare line and tell you that's what I use when I would

never fucking use it. I can't wait to lie to you and lie like when I get a facelift, I'll tell you, guys, I'll tell this podcast when I got cheek filler, I regret it, but I'm going to get more to like even it out. I got lip filler, I got um, you know, like, I'm gonna just be more.

I'm just gonna be honest with stuff. Oh my friend, Oh, this is the new beauty trend that I'm obsessed with, my vocal coach, and I honestly think I would not tell you something unless I thought it really took you up many notches, because I think most beauty stuff, even getting your hair highlighted, it's whatever. I just have to do it because I'm on TV and it matters to other people. It does not matter to me. I never

noticed roots. I don't care. It is something that I truly do because other women tend to think that you have to get your hair done every five weeks, and so I do it. Um. It does not affect myself esteem any If anything, it makes myself seemed worse because when you get foils done and you get your hair washed. Even though my girl is so careful and she's always like, I didn't pull out a single hair, didn't lose a single hair, I always my feels thinner afterwards because inevitably

hairs do fall out. I felt some yesterday even though she claimed nothing came out. I still love you, Ali. Um, it just feels thinner the next day. Um. But this new thing it's called um oh god uh ee lash perm ing up eye lash perm and it makes sure my vocal coach amy the other day. Her eyelashes yesterday were like so curled. I was like, what is your eyelash curler? I need to buy it immediately, and she's like, I have really long eyelishes, but they're just straight, you know.

And she was like, I got them permed and they last for eight weeks permed and it looked like. She was like, I mean, and you could wear no makeup and it just makes you look like you have makeup, I mean so much of like and I just couldn't believe it. And so she gave me the name of her person. And I'm gonna go get my eyelashes curled and I like permed, and I can't wait. What if that's like a funky eighties perm where they're all like wiry and like twisted like that yellow school bus teacher,

Mrs Frazzle Frazzle. Those are my eyelishes. But that's a new trend that I'm like, Okay, I'll get into this. And now I'm going to get an ivy like all these l A things. I would not be getting an ivy right now if it wasn't for my vocal coach. He was like, you need to do an ivy of vitamin C and hydro clued uth out like whatever. It's just like it never ends what you need to do out here for treatments. I mean it is it would

never end to try to like go for youth. I guess I don't know, Like when does it end when you die? I guess I don't know. It's I can't wait, but you can't give up until you die. I guess it's a thing like as a woman, it's just it's so sad. And when you watch Love is Blind sing Zenub, it's like, you're just like, you're so beautiful, you look so good and she's just like hiding her face and she has makeup on, and every time he compliments her, she's like, well, it's because I have makeup on. And

I'm like, oh my god, I'm such a zenub. Like I just can't accept you know. There, it's it's day to day for sure, and it's based on your period and it's based on all those things, your hormones. But um, it sucks that we all just can't. The other day, I did have an epiphany where I was in the shower and I wasn't loving my body. I was like, God, you're feeling things are going to be tight today. You

just know it's one of those days. And I was like, but I have a body that works, and I was just like, okay, just like I can stand in a shower, I don't need to be worried about slipping when I get out, I my my feet don't hurt to walk on like I I just started kind of going through the list of things of like, you know, and even even though this is mean, I chose someone that I would not want to look like, and I was like, what if I was them? How would I feel today? Like?

How grateful would I be if I were them? And then I snapped my fingers and I had this, And I know that's not the nicest thing to compare yourself like in other ways, for whatever reason, for me, that really helps because I was like, I think I'm always comparing myself to Kendall Jenner. That's like the ideal body type. Long, lean, no fat anywhere, tiny waist, hips but not too much hips, long like little deer legs, like long neck, just perfect

angular face. That's always what I'm comparing myself too. But what if I was like, wow, if I what if I was a different size, that I would or a different shape or whatever or like. And then I go, if I saw my fingers and got this body, I would be so fucking happy. I would be like, well like and then I was able to have a little bit more confidence throughout the day. But it's just it's hard, and that's just the way, and don't come at me and be like Nikki, you like said that being fats bad.

I did not say that. I did not say that. I'm not saying, don't Taylor swift me. I'm saying that society says fat is bad, and that is etched into my brain and it tells me that I get less things in life and I get less opportunities if I'm fat, because that's the truth. That's the way it is, and until it changes, that is the way I am going to operate around. And it sucks. And I don't judge you if you're fat. I don't think there's anything wrong with you. That's just what society tells us. So please

don't come at me. And I love all of you, and I'm sorry that it's the way it is. I think you need to write something for your stand up where you say long a lot because it's a funny. It sounds funny when you're like long arms, long legs, long long cola. Yeah. I just keep saying, I guess that the most just got the most l A invite ever. I just before we go to speaking of l A things, Hey, Hey, Natalie and I collaborated and designed a collection of high

end robes. We are having an event to celebrate the launch next week. To come how how I hope you can make it feel free to bring friends. UM to a brand of luxury robes that my friends started with his girlfriend. UM shout out to Nick Vile and his new brand of luxury robes. I wish I could go, but I'm going to be out of town. UM, but I love I love how l a that was. UM. I just appreciated it. But I gotta go get my I V Drip and then go do a podcast. UM.

I'm doing Trash Tuesday. Check it out. I think it's gonna be out this Wen's this Thursday, so um or I guess tomorrow um or next Tuesday. I don't know. Trash Tuesday with Annie Letterman and Esther and uh Kalila. Okay, UM, thank you guys so so much for listening. We'll be back tomorrow with fans. Rex can't wait to hear from you guys, and don't six