#286 No Midnights Package

move for the next three months. Um. That was like my fantasy, A whole blown fantasy I had of like I don't want to feel the pain, but I just want to open my eyes and like be Like the last thing I remember was walking down the street and then all of a sudden people are around me being and there's like beep beep beep, and like and see through gauze and someone's feeding me like peaches. And I get to just be in bed for three months and have people take care of me when I got my operations,

said Mr Mr Lady two days ago. Maybe that's what it caused it. Remember in Adam Sandler's movie or no Ben Stiller, Oh no no? Or is it Adam Sandler who gets hit with the air conditioner falls? And oh maybe that was Billy Madison. I feel like because his mom, his mom, his grandma's in a nursing home. Yeah, you know your your fingers hurry, Well, your back's gonna hurt because you got Oh yeah, it's Ben Stiller's role in I'm really glad we went down this. I'm just saying

it's probably what caused a dream of the air conditioner thing. No, I'm just like thinking of what what can make you like incapacitated really fast? Where people just that's what I want, is like I love when people are in car accidents and they wake up and they go, I didn't even remember it, because that's my biggest fear. It's like being in an accident and going no, no, no, no no, which is what happened when I almost got hit by car.

I go no, no, no no, I did get hit my car, and I remember saying no, no, no, no. But I just wish I just I'm exhausted. I'm just like I am too. I just don't know what the people who can say every morning and go like, I'm so excited to be awake. What is that like? And what is that like? To want kids? Like my friends who want kids, Why would you want more responsibility in life? I just don't understand it. I feel so disconnected from my fellow American because I don't want kids. I want

things to make my life easier. I just don't want. I don't want to. I don't want to do any more things. But I feel compelled to always say yes to everything because I feel like other people. I'm just jealous of people who don't need sleep as much as I do like I need. I slept eight hours last night and I want more. It's not enough. I'm gonna I want to I cancel the lunch I have today

because I need more of an up today. And I can't even get that nap because I have to be on TV in two days and I don't have ear rings for it because I left my earrings the other day at this Jimmy fallon taping and I have to go buy ear rings and that is stressing me out so much. To get ear rings. I don't know what kind I want. I don't know where to go. Oh, it's just like one of those days. What what dumb problems to have? But like that is what is distressing me.

I have to do a podcast later, and I feel like all their fans hate women, and I'm just gonna go on. And I don't even know how to act because if I act myself, then they won't like me. And if I try to act the way they want me to, then I have to give away a part of myself. It's just like I don't even know what to do. Like I feel like there's no winning. I'm just gonna make new enemies, like no one's gonna be one. It's like Trump voters or even Biden voters, like we're

never gonna be swayed the other way. They already don't like me. Why am I even going on this podcast? I'm just gonna make more enemies. Um, what time did you go to about? Did you have spots last night? No? I didn't have these spots last night. You couldn't fall asleep early when you at at twelve and I woke up at eight. All right, I mean it's not bad. I mean, I mean there's no judgment, but it's like a judgment I'm saying I went to bed, I had eight hours of sleep, which is what people get, and

I'm saying it's still not enough. I'm not saying I didn't get enough sleep already want more, when really most people needs six to nine hours of sleep. I mean eight is actually more sleep than most people get, and it's still not enough for me? What is wrong with me?

Why does everyone, like everyone I know is like I had six hours last night, and I'm still going like there's this like mentality of as we know, the capitalistic, like American mentality of like less sleep more work, like if you work more, you're more worthy of love, and like I just I don't know. I'm just exhausted by Some people have no choice. They just have to get up and go to their S S d J. And they just need to keep that a S S DJ for now because everything has gone up so much and

they just have to deal with it, I know. But they still go out on the weekends, like they still go to Halloween parties, whereas if I had an S S d J, I would not go to Halloween parts. People still want kids and they have an S S d J, like if I had that, which I do. I do have crazy hours that keep me sleepless, Like I'm not going to sleep from Wednesday and get a good night sleep from Wednesday until Tuesday, uh starting tomorrow because of all the travel and all the work I

have to do. So I get it, but I don't want kids, Like I'm making choices that don't add more stress in my life, but I wish that I did want kids. That makes any sense? Why do people want kids when they already are exhausted. All my friends are exhausted, and they're still trying to have kids. What's wrong with me? It's still My point is that that you even on a non work day, stay up till twelve o'clock. A lot of these people are going to bed. Your saying,

oh they're early morning riders. They go to fucking sleep at ten pm. The people that most people in America exists on six hours of sleep at night, and that is so little sleep. But most people do that regardless of it, no matter what time they're going to sleep. I'm saying, why do people like to add more stress to their lives? Like my friend, like Anya wants to

go She's someone who likes leisure life. She was like, is dying to go stay at her parents house and like gut their house and like redo it so that they can like sell it. She's like so excited about the idea of that, and I'm like, why am I not a woman who wants to do stuff like that. I don't want to do any of this stuff, Like I just can't, Like I can't you fill you fill all your time with other ship. You're not just sitting

there idle. If you were someone that goes I don't want to do any of this, and then you don't do anything and you're just sitting there. I don't do anything. I don't do anything. I do a podcast. I sit down at record a podcast, and then I just send files and then I go lay in bed and I

read a book until I fall asleep. Then I wake up, I eat, I eat, I get a coffee, and then I go back into bed and read a book until I fall asleep, and then I eventually maybe do something because Chris is like, I'm getting off work, Let's go to dinner. So then I go to dinner and I'm still so tired. And then if I have sets, I'll go do them, but they just show up. It's not like I'm like, I don't know. It's not the same as like I want to go have a kid, Like, it's not It's not a choice for me, Like my

sets are an s SDJ. They're not a choice. They have to be done in order for me to make

money and make a living. I'm talking about adding other things to your life, like parties, socializing, dinners, fall pots, meal prep, cooking um, decorating your house, buying nuisconsins, buying bed linens, going shopping with your friends, going to buy new earrings, having kids, buying a new car, going to look at real estate, going um, like these are all things that I'm just like, why how does anyone have hob us and add to their life these stressful things?

Or like go to the zoo with your niece and nephew go like everything feels like a chore to me. Everything as someone that is very similar to you in the sense of like if I lost something, or if I like have to go buy something, I overthink it, like funk, I gotta go to Target, I gotta go down the aisle, I gotta see people, I gotta be around people. I gotta find parking. Like all those thoughts go through my head and and then it paralyzes me

and then I don't do ship. But lately, somehow, like last night, Brenna was like, I could really I really need tampons and drain Oh. I don't know if that goes together, but um, and I was like, and I was like, I'll just go. I'll just go drain O that kind of thing that you could drink and it would flush all your period out poured in straight. Yeah, and uh. And I was like, I just went to Target, and I realized these things they take fucking thirty minutes.

Like there, we put them on a pedestal. They're so easy to do, and we're like, how can these people do them? That doesn't stress me out at all. Going to get draino and tampons for my girlfriend would not stress me out because that you know where to go. There's one place to get it, Target, Schnooks, deer Berg's, Walgreen, so you can get all that there. When I'm getting ear rings, it's like, do I get gold plated? Do I get gold? Do I spend a lot of money on that? Do I go to Forever twenty one and

just get shitty ones? Do I go to Target and just get shitty ones. Do I order online? Do I order from posh Mark? Like, that's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about when I walked down Montana Avenue and like fucking Santa Monica, and there's eighteen different skin places where I can go and make my skin better so that people like me more, and I just don't. There's there's four different pilate studios within five blocks. Which one

do you go to? How does anyone make a choice? Yeah, but I get what you're saying to of like, just you know, you just do it, You just pick one. I don't even think that your thing is a chore. Your thing is like a thing you have to do. Brennan needs tampons, Brenda, you guys need drain No because you like ship a lot, but like because she's flushing her tampons, Like you guys need these things. I'm talking about when people are like I want to go like like I don't know redo landscape my yard. I want

a new yard. I want to like my yard to look nice, or I want to redo my kitchen. I don't like this granite countertop. I in a million years would never give a fuck about New Granite Town or top. It would never occur to me that would require looking at new granite, having an expert come over, and having to be like, do you want some water? Oh, the weather outside is nice? All this bullshit small talk. How

long have you been working for this business? They get out their big book, you flip through it, They have you to talk to them for like an hour, when I would just want to pick out things online and just guess. But like I have a boyfriend, like Chris, if we ever got a house, he would want to like, go to the store, look at the granite tile, take it back samples, hold them up. If we don't like that one, we can go get another one. We like these people that like to be meticulous and choose the

right thing like and they enjoy that process. I again, it goes back to like Cris being like one time when I told him I wish I like to travel, He's like, why do you wish that you liked things you don't like? What is that about you? Like? Why are you someone who wants I just don't like the things I don't like, and I like the things I do like. I don't wish I liked things I don't like unless they're like, you know, working out or something that's going to give you something else, But I just

I want to be normal. I guess that's the thing. I think. You wish for things that the majority of people are, so then you feel constantly like an outcast because most people like these things. Yeah, I mean, look at the kitchen. You fix the kitchen, then you can't even go in the kitchen for nine months. There's people

in your house all the time. Things, you have to live in a hotel because you're redoing your house that you're just gonna move out of in two years because you're gonna have two more kids and it's not big enough for us. Like Chris's brother is like thinking about redoing their house, and I'm like, why are you going to do that? You can't even live in your house. You're gonna have construction workers you. Yeah, you have plast stick on the floor, there's sawdust everywhere, there's constantly trucks

in your driveway. Like why. I mean, Chris and I went and looked at a place the other day and it's perfectly like redone, like everything's been done. And Chris even finds something that he's like, I would tear that out and redo that, and I'm like, I'm not taking this plate. Then I don't want to do reading. I want to walk into it's already done. I don't go to a restaurant, and that's why I hate table side guacamole. I go make it in the kitchen. I don't need

to see you do this ship. I don't want to be a part of the process. I don't order. I don't order a salad and want to mix the dressing at my table. I don't want to chop the tomatoes. Like we went to a Greek restaurant on The Girl's Trip, Remember that Noah and the vegetables all came out like gigantic heads of broccoli, heads of cauliflower, an onion that is just a whole onion, and they serve it on this big plate. It's all cooked, but you have to like cut it yourself. And I go, what is this?

This is like? This is Chris's dream. It's like a project like food. You like mixing appetizers together. That's a start, you like, And if I could buy it in together. You know, I'm just bitching about the same things over and over. It's like when I get depressed I just go into this tunnel of like what is wrong with me that I don't want these things that other people want? And the kid thing is really bothering me because I have literally two weeks to freeze my eggs before it's

like not gonna work. Like I literally have like, uh six months before it's like this is pointless for you to do. And I just can't imag And I talked to someone recently. He was like, Nikki, freeze your eggs. She was like, when I was thirty eight, I did not want kids at all. I was positive I didn't want kids. And if you're even on the fence about it, when you get to be forty, like you're you're gonna

be mad that you didn't freeze your eggs. And then talk to another friend who's like, I wish I would have frozen my eggs at thirty eight, and I'm like, but I can't see why I would want to add chaos to my life. I don't what's the process of freezing your eggs? Like how I don't even know. You have to inject your stomach. You have to watch rosebud Baker's story. You to inject your stomach. You get fat because your hormones go fucking crazy. You get crazy, you

get pimples, your hair falls out. Probably like it's probably this long process. Then you have to go. Even two doctors appointments is too much for me. It's like it's it's so it's so much. Can do it? Maybe do a two for one, don't you wish like doctors did more? Like like why do you need a specialty? Just fucking freeze my eggs and freeze my volkes, you know what I mean? Free vokes. Tighten up my plus while you're down there, grab some eggs, throw them in the asshole. Yeah,

drado my asshole sucking. It's just I just feel like people feel stagnant. If they don't if they're not changing their kitchen, they're just dying. Like I think it's a lot to do with death, Like you just feel like, what is my life if I'm not changing something, because then I just feel bored and then it's like nothing's changing and without change, I'm just dying. And I think

that's what it comes down to. But you have like, for example, we have carpets in the house and I found like the listing for where I live, and I realized, like these carpets have been here for about twenty years, and the ship that's in them is probably making us have allergies. Yeah, so it's like practical stuff too, that makes sense. That makes sense. Or you're just scared of dying from the stuff in your carpets. Yeah, I just like.

That's why I don't want to own a home is because I would not want to deal with I just want to buy something new. There you go. So that is a difference. That's fine, But like, do you you like the idea of removing those carpets and final floors and figuring it out? I have options paralysis, There's too many choices. I don't know who to go to, Like,

how do you get your floor redone? I don't want to get ripped off because I don't know anything, and I don't want to start reading about it and learning how to change the floor by y. It's so much work. But I'll get you. Yeah, yeah, pressure, I guess you just hire someone to like do all this ship for you. You just go look, I don't know, Jeff, a guy named Jeff. Maybe if Chris loves doing it, let Chris do it and just you do your thing, you know, do you know why because I want my boyfriend to

be present. I want my boyfriend to hang out with me. I don't want him because I know that he when he takes on a job, it is meticulous, it is perfectionism. It is like it requires all of his effort. It was it would I don't want Like Chris is like, oh, I'll learn how to do this thing for you, and I'll learn how to do that thing for you. He's so helpful, and I'm like, no, I want you to

watch Love Is Blind with me on the couch. I don't want you to be in the next room taking social media classes, like I want as much as I want you to help me, like I just I don't want you to do the work. I just want us

to have fun times together. Like I feel like so much of being a couple is just like you're both working all the time, and I just I value like just being in bed together and doing a crossword next to each other or watching Like the other night, he was on his phone like making a post and I was like, I paused love his mind. He's like, you can keep it going, and I'm like, no, I need you to be watching this with me. I need you

be reacting to it with me. I don't need Like I can't stand someone on their phone, like and I do it to him all the time. I'm on my phone on the couch, so I'm like wanting to talk, but like I can't take it if I don't have his undivided attention for whatever like task we're doing. And I just know that him doing redoing our floors would take him from me. Yeah, if that makes sense. I hear what you're saying. I think there's a lot of time in the day too. I think he could still

do both. But I get what you're saying, Like I want to get instead of him going to get my tampons, I would want to send a task grab it because I just don't want him to leave and I don't want to be alone, Like I can afford this. So like the other night, he was Like the other night, he's trying to order dinner, and I knew he like when he gets hungry. He you know, as we all do. You like your choice paralysis, You just like can't decide what you want. And I wanted to start love is

blind so bad. So I just grabbed my phone while he's looking for his I pretended like I was doing something else and I ordered the pizza that I knew he would want, and I go, it's done, and he was like what. I was like, your pizzas on its way. It'll be here in fifteen minutes. It wasn't there in fifteen minutes. I paid extra for it to be expedited. I'm just like, let's just get this done fast, like I'm tired of just like toiling over options. Everything is

just like so it takes so long. Everything just like fast, fast, fast. Like I think of how much time you wait to have a new kitchen because you're worried about what tile, and we gotta wait for this tile to be flown in from Morocco because I wanted to be perfect. Just have your life is short. Just have a kitchen that's functional. Stop waiting for all of these tiles and all these things. Like it's fast doesn't mean the result is bad, or if the result isn't, what you want isn't because you

worked fast. I think people connect. Oh I didn't take enough time, and then that's why I don't like it. But if you take a lot of time, you might not like it too. So it's like I think the pot thing, like, do you make a pot every day that's shitty and decide what you want and like, make a fast kitchen. If you don't like it, redo it and it'll be fast again, as opposed to toiling over a kitchen that you think is going to be perfect and it takes months and months and months and then

you get it and it's not perfect. Funk up a couple of times. With the kitchen that's a little bit faster to put together. And the saddest part is after two months, you're not even gonna notice the countertop at all, and you're going to start You're not coveting someone else's countertops.

You're gonna start going I wish I had those. You're gonna start looking through architectural diges and be like, we should have gone this way, And you're gonna regret it so much more because of a like when you do something fast and you regret it, you can go, oh, well that was fast, we can just redo it. I didn't spend that much money, I didn't spend that much time. I'm not going to like punish myself when I spend a lot of time or money on something I regret

it. It It is so much more painful than if I don't. So I think we've uncovered something here. Let's take a break and like process all of this and come back with an actual show right for this besties. I don't know, you know, but I have a new tour that is happening right now. It's called the Good Girl Tour. It is sweeping the nation, starting out in Iowa this weekend, and then I'm in Reno, I'm in um California. Have

four different cities there. I am in Vermont, I am in Providence, Rhode Island, Memphis, Tennessee, Waterloo, New York, Quercy, Pennsylvania, Oklahoma City, Pulsa, St. Louis, Albany, Portland, Maine, New York, Hampton, New Hampshire, and then I hit Europe. So those are all the cities I'm gonna re reminding you. If you know anyone in those cities, let them know they have a fun night of comedy awaiting them just down the street. You can go to nikulaser dot com for tickets. I

would love to see you there. As always, there are meet and greets available if you go alone, I will grant to a free meet and greet you just have to write me going alone in all caps, your name, and the city in which you're going to see me, nothing else. You don't even need the rite thing you. If you write anything else, they will actually make it so I don't see the message. But you must start the message with going alone, and don't follow it up

with anything, because otherwise I won't see it. It's very weird how it works. So thank you so much, and I hope I get to meet you. And if you don't go alone, meet and greet tickets are available at the merch booth and I've got some sick merch this time around too. I can't wait to see you. I can't wait to perform for you. I can't wait to meet you. Come on out Iowa this weekend and California

next weekend. Alright, we're back. Okay, So last night, Um Taylor Swift was on Jimmy Fallon the Well she announced that she's probably gonna go on tour someday. And I know she can't give us a date yet, like it's probably like legally she can't even say anything. But I

cannot believe that. Jimmy Fallon, um who I was with on Thursday for many hours shooting a thing met Taylor's is like with Taylor Swift last night, so I was with someone that was like he like breathed the same air as her and me at the same time, which is very exciting to um. And also the other night I was the night that Midnight's got released. I was driving home looking at the where I was in the uber, looking at the trailer for the series of music videos

she has coming out. She has two out already, and at the very end it said, like the credits of like Who's in Um, it said Mike Robigilia And I was like, what the fuck? And it was like four in the morning, New York time, But I wrote Mike being like you're in a Taylor Swift video. I'm freaking out, Mike and freaking out, And then he wrote me the next day He's like insane. And then I got as soon as I got up to watch the music video, he calls me and I'm watching his scene as he

calls me, and I'm like, oh my god. He's like I couldn't say anything I've known since so this day, like I can't and he you know, he didn't give me any like juice or scoop, but he just said she was so talented, and because he's friends with Jack and his friends with Ja. Yeah, I think that's how it happened. I can't, I'm yeah, I I don't know, I'm so. I was just glad there wasn't a female stand up in that ensemble, because there was. John Early

is also a friend of mine. He was in that, and Mike Probiculio, and then UM the Charlie's the waitress from UM Always Sunny who's was married to Charlie Day. Her name's Melissa something or other. She was also in it, but she's not a stand up. If there would have been a female stand up, that wasn't me in it, which there will be some day, because let me just say, Taylor doesn't care about me. She does, she knows that I exist. She does not want to be friends. I'm

too try hard. If there's no way that they don't know about me, I'm sure she would have given me a press package of gifts that she sent to other celebrities, but her team is not going to acknowledge me, and I get it. I am such a try hard even though I never tag her anything, I only do it for the love of the game. I'm not trying to

get anything. I was deeply, deeply sad on Friday when I saw someone with less followers than me, way less enthusiasm for Taylor Swift based on what I see on their social media, got a package from Taylor Swift with all this Midnight's merch being like, we all stay up at midnight and we all struggle sometimes. I hope you find in this album the strength to release your own

midnight sparkle or something like that. I couldn't even read the letter because I was so mad, and I Taylor staying at my house, my friend Taylor, and I was getting alerts that I have packages, so it's like, maybe there's a package. So she was like, I go, can you go check my packages? And she's like, and I go open them immediately because I don't want to like

get up. I like seriously was like falling into a sadness of like, what why can't I I think I'm the number one celebrity to Swift e me and Brie Larson, and Brie Larson is not as fanatical as I am. I mean, and maybe that's so annoying to her and their team, but like I just I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Um, But Taylor opened the gifts and it was not a Taylor Swift package. You know what it was. It was a package of Taylor Swift shirts. I had ordered myself with my own money, so it

was Taylor Swift stuff, but it was my own. It was so much of t shirts that I bought for posh Mark and like eBay And also, don't worry, Taylor, I did order from your website and I bought your own shirts that as your own merch. But sometimes I just want more than you can even give me. So it's like I just can't really made me sad. I was like, I don't know if I can listen to this album the rest of the day. And then I

journaled about it. I talked to Chris about it, like I really felt like my friend didn't invite me to her birthday party or something like my best friend forgot to send me an invite or you know, that's how it felt. I feel like, yeah, you wanted to meet Wilco your whole life, like or whatever, you wanted to meet Dave Matthews, Like these things happen, it will happen in that Taylor. Well, yeah, but you've had closer relationship with Wilco. You've liked them right on, like a more

professional level. I think, I just think. I don't even think that. I don't even want to meet her. I don't want to be friends with her because I don't think she wants to be friends with me, because I I don't even know that if I were her, i'd want to be friends with me. It's too much, there's too much of a pedestal. She'll never live up to it. Like I wouldn't want to be friends with people who are that fanatical about me, no way, Like it just would not be work. I'm not asking for that. I'm

asking for you to send me a card again. I'm asking for you to send me the gift, like a gift package that the other celebrities get, so I can feel like you see me like I keep me as a fan, keep me as a distance, don't invite me backstage, don't give me free tickets. I'll always support you, but give me a little nod that you like see me. And this isn't even her, this is her, this is Tree that her publicist, and like the whole team, I'm like, come, on I'm out here, but I get it. I bet

they're all like they are so embarrassed for me. I bet they're all like she tries she But the truth is, Anya was like because I was crying to any about it. I was literally like crying, like I just can't believe Keelty got a package and I didn't, Like it's just not like it's not even like I need that stuff. I just want to be acknowledged that like this, I

my identity is Taylor Swift. I spent this entire podcast talking about her today, and like I'm getting tarried thinking about it right now because it's okay, I devote so much of my time and so much energy, it's so stupid to cry about this, but it really does upset me that, Like it's so stupid. This is the headline is like Nikki Glazer cries because she doesn't get a

package from Taylor Swift, but it's like I just be seen. Well, I I don't even want like I would be happy for her to not see me if she didn't see other people that care so much less about her, you know what I mean? Like I don't I'm not even wanting anything from her. She gives enough. That's why I've always said I don't even want to meet her because it would be too much of an energy suck for her to deal with my emotions. And I need her to save that to make music. I want her to

be happy. If I saw her in the street, I wouldn't go up to her and go like, oh my god. I wouldn't bother her like I want her to be. Someone sent me a clip of her getting bombarded on the street by someone, and I was just like, leave her alone, Like I was just so I just I don't even want to bother her, but it just it really hurt me. It's so stupid. I sent you that clip. And the point of the clip was it wasn't her. Who is Ashley? I don't know? Oh well, I didn't

watch it because it was so annoying to me. I was just like, I didn't watch it. I just heard screaming and I saw a person that kind of vuey looked like her, and I didn't watch it. A bunch of people sent me that and I was just like, stop sending me this. It was like watching a whale being people like people stepping on a whale. And I'll like a whale watching thing where I'm just like leave it alone. Like that's the way I felt about whale

sharks when we went out to see them in Cambo. Remember, we were like stalking them and annoying them, and I was I don't even want to get in the water. These are my favorite animals, and I don't want to get in the water even though I have a chance to take a picture with them, because they don't want to. They I want them to be peaceful and to live. But I do want those whales to send me a gift package. And it's not even the whale, it's their team.

It's the little algae that like sucks on them. There's little sharks that go, Yeah, doesn't know, but I do think that they think I'm a loser. Um, I wanted to play a game. Okay, So Taylor's what was on Jimmy Fallon last night? And I'm so impressed by this until I think, maybe I'll tell you why. Maybe it's not as impressive as I think, but I also do believe it's impressive. So let's just listen to it real quick,

and then I want to play a little game. Okay, So he asked Taylor to name as many cat breeds as she can in like thirty seconds. So listen to this Scottish fold rag doll rag, a muffin, Maine coon, British short hair, exotic short hair, American short hair, Devin rex, Cornish rex, sphinx cat, Abyssinian, Persian, Siberian Burmese, a Norwegian forest cat, ausa cat, Bengal um um, bombay cat, Russian blue? Is there a British blue, um um, lunchkin cat um um, a black cat, a Calico cat, a cat natch comes

off of desk? Okay, so impressive. I mean, like I didn't know. I didn't even when I saw the clip, I go, what is she even listing? It sounded like racial slurs, British race, like it just it's I was like, what's going on here? And then um, she said Maine coon and I remember that was a cat type. So and I read the thing the caption, Um, that was a lot of cats. I was impressed until I go, oh, they told her they were going to do this beforehand, so she probably looked at a list really quick and

like it wasn't the top it was. She had that written on her hand orchestrate. But um, but how do you know how many times I have pretended? I just want to say there's no shade on Taylor for having looked at a list before she did the thing. But I wanted to play this game with Andrew. Um in thirty seconds, how many um, I'm gonna set the clock, hold on, how many pro anything golf or no? No, what are you talking about? Anything? Golf, golf, ball, grass,

sand wedge. I mean that's not stop um because I'm trying to find my stopwatch. Okay, here we go. So you're gonna do as many pro golfers as you can starting now. Tiger Woods, Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicholson, Um Brooks, cop um, Rory McRory, Tommy Fleetwood, uh A, Xander something um uh, Greg Norman, ch Rodriguez, um Moon, black Cat, um up, Phil Nicholson. Okay, no, uh, you have to name as many metal bands as you can in thirty

seconds and three to what go? Amorphous, Black Dollar, Murder, Cannibal, Corpse, um uh, um, the Yattering, uh Vomitory, Queens, ryche Judas, Priest, Metallica, Megadeth, Anthrax, um uh sabotan uh twelve Sorry what are you doing? What are you gonna do? Um? Uh? And these are not all equal. This is just fun and nineties nineties alternative rock bands. But that's not a thing. I know a lot of rom coms. Rom coms, okay, alright, one to three? How to Lose a guy in ten days?

You've got male Sleepless in Seattle, Uh, picture perfect, Sweet Home Alabama? The FCE know that ten seconds, the guy that um u um just friends, um best friends? Uh. The god I'm trying to uh sweet sixteen that um candles sixteen candles? God? Um live thinking of anything? I'm thinking of. All I can fixture is how to lose a guy ten days? And I fucking have never even seen that movie. It's just I hate that movie. By the way, Oh my god, Kings Tale Made in Manhattan. Yeah,

I didn't even think. I was trying to think of, like, um, you guys, and I had like four, um no, how to lose a guy in ten days? I've never seen the movie. I've never seen Sweet Home Alabama. I've never seen uh six you know, sixteen going on thirty or whatever that movie is. I don't know. I haven't really seen that many rom coms. I have like three that I love. But have you seen How to Lose a Guy In Ten Days? Yeah? I remember, I told him that that was Heath Ledger. I told him that was

my favorite movie in person. Ten Things I hate about you? What did you say in ten Days? I bet you didn't tell the Ledger that you love How to Lose a Guy ten Days? I bet you did. And you and no idea how what you fucked it up would kill him? Oh my god? So good. All right, let's get to the news. That was fun. Oh boys, you know what that means. It's Tuesday. I hope you have all the swells out there. Apparently we are back, do you know in the studio in the Phoenix? Apparently we

are Phoenix, Tucson. Alright, well, Nikki, we're talking a lot about stranger danger, right. A twenty two year old Brooklyn woman who was randomly punched and pushed onto the subway tracks said she was able to scramble to safety thanks to her experience climbing up on the stage at Gwen Stefani concerts. She says, it's because's called me on stage so many times. That's why my body knew what to do. Oh my god. I mean that it's like, no bot

could have put that sentence together. No, there's no way old. And by the way, what twenty two year old likes Gwen Stefani, I don't feel like two year old And Gwen Sefani her last hit was probably when that girl was in middle school. I mean her last hit was like b A N A N A y s and that was probably two, which was that girl was ten years old. Um. And does Squenze Fanny even tour anymore? Okay? And also if you climb up on stage, don't you

get kicked out right away? Um? I love it? Um. Speaking of climbing, there is a man that just climbed a wall to get over a locked gate that I just saw. That was so weird. I just saw a man do exactly what that girl did over a rick wall.

That's like, that is hello, training just getting ready. I mean, I feel like if she did it young enough, it's like learning how to throw a baseball, maybe you can like like if she like climbed so many stages, I mean I couldn't even assume that she'd maybe climbed five in her life. And that's a lot. That's a lot of stages. You know what, I mean to bring that back, but I can't believe she was superhuman stre calling oh

especially if a train is coming down. But this is happening so much in New York, I you know, on Reddit, and I always see at the NYC supred It's like someone gets pushed on the train every day. I never hung out by the edge of the train, like always aware why. I would always stand like against a pole, like or like a beam, so that there was no way for anyone to put shove me behind, like you know, like I would stand with my back flushed to it. I rare and I was always aware of my surroundings.

If you go to New York, do not be scared of the subway system, but do not stand. Don't be one of those strap hangers that stands on the very cusp because you're even the wind from the subway itself is sometimes so strong it could like suck you into it. It's like it's nothing to be really scared of. If you're a scared person, you're like, oh my god, is

the subway system scary? Like it's not. You'll be okay, But just stand in the middle of the platform, like why tempt any crazy person who might be just having a psychotic break just to shove you, like Noah Andrew, did you guys ever stay stand on the side. Oh, I mean I I think you just you become so like so numb to the fact that this is a moving locomotive, like a train in the middle of the woods. You know, when a train comes through and Taylor is probably on it. After it's so scary, like it's a

fucking train, and that's what you forget. You become numb to it. So you get so close. Like I've seen people like their hat gets hit and they're like like they laughed, my hat went sideways. I've done it. I've looked down on my phone and looked up and be like I'm like in the middle of the turn, you

know what I mean from the train. Yes, I've done that before too, but it's like and drunk down there, like I can't believe there's not more train accidents and train conductors need like you know, they go through trauma therapy after they because they often like hit people and it's just so traumatic and it's a guy got hit the other. A couple of weeks ago in Queens, they were waiting on. The guy walked briskly past another guy

who's on his phone. His phone flew out of his hand because he got bumped, and then the phone went into the tracks. They got into a scuffle. The guy whose phone got knocked by this other guy threw that guy into the train tracks. He never got home that day because he died and his wife was waiting for him to come home to take her to her her dialysis. And so now she's like, there was I donated to their go fund me. I think you could. It's still

available to do it. But it was just like the saddest story of just this one guy, like over a fucking phone and he's like, you go down the tracks and get it, and the guy was like, I'm not going down to the tracks to get your phone that I accidentally hit, And the guy just took him and shoved him and down into the tracks. I know, and be fine. If he just mosh more vomitory, he would

have been fine. Yeah, yeah, if he would have just gone to more Maroon five shows and mashed so hard could hand don't believe She's side squad Stefan and man, I love now that people are going to try to climb up on stage and be like, I'm just preparing in case I go to New York and get knocked into the tracks. Why are you preventing that, Fergie. It's like Iglesias cheated, but to be ready for a plane crash. Glezias like makes out with you if you were on stage.

I am dying to go to one of those answers. Babe, I'm sorry I had to. He pulled me on stage. I didn't have a choice. It's like, what you do, Drake does that to Drake will like fuck you on stage only if you're I know I was. I'm glad you said. I'm glad you said. I say, got cancel. Damn it. Okay, next news story. All right, there are six facial expressions that mean someone is lying. Oh wait, that is so weird that you just sent this. Hold on, I'm getting a showed out of the frigerator, but I'm

gonna still talk. So yesterday on our girls chat, we were talking about how you can tell if someone's lying or not, and we sent this to each other and I and they were sending like facial They were sending some of the stuff that they had googled and found and I because I know this. Wait, where is my drink?

One second? You guys, I'm sorry touching your face. Well yeah, but I know that on a lie detector test, if you want to beat it, you clench your asshole the entire time that you're taking it, because your sphincter will contract when you lie, and then as soon as you lie, relax your sphincter because the contraction will be then, um, you know the that you won't be They won't if they have, because sometimes they have, Like because your spinster contracts,

maybe it reads on the lie detector machine. But if you're contracted the whole time and then you relax when you're lying, the contraction that you would have gets counteracted by you relaxing. So that's just a tip. So I told Anya, like, if you guys wanna I told my group chat, if you want to really know someone's lying, stick your finger up their asshole and if it just gets a little tight, you know they're lying about enjoying this. And I'm like, no, you don't, you relax so much

your asshole. At the time, He's like, Okay, you told too much of the truth, Like I could tell you everywhere you're like I didn't kill my wife, I'll tell the chair. Okay, Well, a tightened asshole is not on this list, But what are signs that you're lying? Okay? So Andrew mentioned one, which is looking away, moving the eyes around, because it means that someone is thinking about their next thought, like they're pondering what to say next. I also feel like when I lie, I don't I'm

so ashamed of it. I don't want to make eye contact with the person I'm lying to. Okay, sense I look away to just be like, I can't look at you. I'm so embarrassed that I'm doing this. But yeah, it could be like searching what am I going to say next? What am I going to come up with? Okay, what's another thing? Titan jaw and forehead Liars also tend to tense up when they're not being truthful, and this could include tightening the john forehead. Okay, your asshole is tough.

Two things, patting your head in revenue, So yeah, so loosen your face. Um, that makes sense, i'd be touching your face to touching your hair fidgeting? Would that be what? Uh? Not? In this list? Pursed or dry lips lying triggers your body's automatic nervous system ends up drying up the lips so crazy that lying makes us do all of these things, like what is it? Because what what is cave people?

Or like you know when we were Neanderthals, Like why would lying be something that makes all these things happen? You know, like it has to be for a reason, And I guess it's for the benefit of other Like if we want if someone's like found a food source and we're like, did you find food over there? And we asked and they're like no, and they'd say no, they didn't because they wanted all to themselves. We should be able to tell if their lying, so that we

could actually get the food. Maybe it's something like that. Well, there's a lot of stories of history of like when people came over and with the Indians, they would lie to them, but like they did in a way where they were believable, like it was believable that they were actually like the son of God or something. I don't know. They would do ship and they wouldn't even have enough time for evolution to take We can't look back at the time of the Native Americans as when like for evolution,

don't you know, it's like millions of years. Okay, a couple of us system, but we developed the ability to breathe because when we settled our lung capacity, like millions of years, it's Indians. Then they became wolves, and then they became dolphins, and then that was a monkey. You know. Then we really are bad at telling liars, so like really really bad at it. Yeah, have you ever told the story? Have you ever done that? Thing? Was like in a class person. Yeah, it's so it's almost impossible

to know. Well, I was on that show to tell the truth, and you would think it would be so easy. These just normal people who have been coached to tell a lie. These aren't like professional actors. They're just like, you know, random people they found in Burbank trying to pretend like they are a secret ops agent and you do not know it. I was so bad at the game, and I watch telling the truth right, Okay, Case licking

his lips a lot twelve inch penis. Um, Oh he can tack it looks like blink at my lips are wet. That's true. Was your asshole tight? Was your twelve inch penis wrapped inside it? You got to go to break? Would you want it's twelve inch penis. Yeah, when my legs are streets like Tigger, just bouncing on around down. Okay, we gotta go to break. We'll come back in one more after that. All Right, it's time for my favorite time of the week gets Reddit dump karaoke mode. This

is your Reddit dum Okay. This one is from Asked Women. It fits uh the subject that I was going off on on the first part of the show. Um, it said, And this is where they asked them and things, why do you regret having kids? Not in the context of loving your kids, but do you think you'd be happier if you didn't have kids? And um one person said,

Sometimes sometimes I look at my children. All I can say is this, I'm sorry that I brought you into this messy world where I teach you the importance of communication, boundaries and safety, and yet all we hear our and c our wars, violence, sadness. I'm also not going to pretend that I don't miss my pre motherhood life. I do. I miss my freedom, and I'm not ashamed of admitting this.

Then I sent this to Anya and because we were kind of look lamenting, like I don't think we're gonna have kids, like we need more, We need more messaging, like that's the right thing to do. I can't just rely on Chelsea Handler's Instagram to keep reminding me that being single and not having kids is the best thing, even though hers really does help me. Someone said, everyone always tells me how extroverted I am. I believe that was true until I had children. I realized that I'm

actually an extroverted introvert. My husband is an introvert, and before children, it was easy for us to recharge and be alone. Now that kids are in the mix, I'm never alone. I extrovert all day at work and come home to noise and chatter. It's so exhausting. They're good kids, they don't do anything wrong. I just wish they could move out sometimes and come visit regularly instead of living with me. I miss solitude. Oh that is it. I'm so scared that I'll never be able to just have quiet.

And I know people are like, but then your kids go to bed, but then you want to sleep, Like at a time I went quiet on a time of day where I don't want to sleep. Um be okay, Someone says, because I should have done the trauma healing work before having them, I didn't, so they triggered me all the time, and I have to navigate good enough parenting with dealing with my past issues, which is so hard and take so much energy. My younger self thought that having kids would fix me. She was right, but

not in the way she thought. I think that's pretty good. People said, I missed sleeping kids, being able to do what I want when I want without having them to having to worry, being able to dream and adventure. Not that it would have happened before, but it ain't no way. I'm bicycling through the French countryside now. Someone said, because I was led to believe I was in a partnership but then proceeded to do of the work. This is why do I regret having kids? Um uh? Someone said, no,

I don't. My only regret is having her at twenty four, which I had waited. Now that I'm in my forties, I realized is way too young to have kids. Someone said, my three year olds. Oh well, that's too sad. I'm not going to read that. Sometimes I feel like I should have known better than to have a child with an abusive partner. So good reminders that maybe a couple in there where I'm like, well, I don't think I would do that. I wouldn't think a child would fix

my life. I don't if anything, I think, I know a child would make my life a lot harder. I I guess I don't understand someone thinking a child it's gone their life easier to expectations to put on a kid.

But people do it all the time. Noah. People say people who are smart enough to know that kids won't save your relationship, that marriage isn't going to save your relationship, that getting engaged isn't going to save your relationship, that moving in together isn't gonna save your relationship, that getting a dog together isn't gonna They still do it because we are We just think that it will. That like

doubling down. I know so many couples that get engaged and then get break up right after it because they did it as a last ditch attempt to like this will make us work, and of course it doesn't. Um. This next one is catch up from ask credit ketchup doesn't exist. What sauce do you use to eat fries with? Easy? That was pretty good. Really, it's going to choose does not existing barbecue b b Q. Um shit, honey mustard. Mm hmm, honey mustard. Honestly, I used to love dipping

them in honey when I would go to McDonald's. A one sauce is too runny. I want a thicker, gloppier thing. I'm going to go with the dressing at a lattin cafe and Lawrence, Kansas, I just want that on everything. Or I want like barbecue sauce, though Barbara McDonald's barbecue is probably the number one sauce I'm gonna use. But if you're ever in Lawrence, Kansas or Kansas City, go to Latin Cafe and get their Greek salad dressing and it's it's vinegary, it's like green. It's so good, and

I it's I want to put it on everything. Um okay, um. Worst lyrics you've ever heard. This is in the Subpreddit music and then people just submitted a bunch. I thought they were funny. Um. This is from a This is a Rick Ross lyric. It says I put Molly All in her champagne. She ain't even know it. I went home and enjoyed that she ain't even it. Jus and then This is his apology statement after he was called out another reditor put this. Ross said there had been

a misunderstanding and misinterpretation. He said the term rape wasn't used. You know, I would never use the term rape in my records. I just wanted to reach out to all the sexy ladies, all the beautiful ladies that had been reaching out to me with the misunderstanding. We don't condone rape, and I'm not with that. Well, good to know, Wow that actual? Thanks? So what else? Wrote? Just to be clear, I did not use the word rape when describing the

rape I committed. Just wanted to be clear about that. If you don't call it rape, then it's not rape. He doesn't believe in labels. That's his I always believe that with Rick Uh did any lyrics came to come to mind for you guys as I continue, remember that one song I played for you about the guy like wanting to bang the young girl, but his parents got into way all the time, young girl, Run girl, you're much too young girl girl, Get out of maman all

love his way out of land. Run girl. Much to apology, he goes, Look, I don't believe in pedophilia. I didn't say pedophilia. I don't let me look at the first lyrics of that, because I only know that because Bob Saget sang it on full house, because he was dating a younger woman and she broke up with him, and or he broke up with her and he was like lamenting it. So it's it goes, young girl, Get out of my mind. My love for you is way out

of line. Better run, girl, you're much too young. Girl, with all the charms of a woman, you've kept the secret of your youth. You led me to believe you're old enough to give me love, and now it hurts to know the truth. Who young girl, get out of my mind. Okay, Beneath your perfume and makeup, you're just a baby in disguise. And though you know that it's wrong to be alone with me, that come on look is in your eyes. So hurry home to your mama.

I'm sure she wonders where you are. Get out of here before I have the time to change my mind, because I'm afraid we'll go too far. And then it just then in her bottle, I think I put luds in your bottle. It's not what you think, though, Oh my god, dude, that song is so creepy. Dude, Andrew. Andrew like told me one day he was like, I heard this song the other day. Were you at a golf course or something. I was, and I'm like, this

song is a nice old school song. And then I'm like by the second verse, I couldn't even hit the balls anymore because I was literally like, I was like, is this You were like, Nikki, you don't understand this fucking song. And then I was like, wait a second, I think I know that song because Danny Tanner sang it on Full House Guitar. I almost went to see that guy, by the way, the guy that sang that song. I almost need to go see him with Chris. He's on tour right now with a bunch of ways and

guys from like the nineteen fifties. That is Gary Puckett, Gary Poker in the Union gap. Um, there's a lot of songs back there. You you want to know a song the Beatles song, um, run for your Life? Oh yeah, that one that Run for your Life. Um. The other actually, the other day, I was singing a song on a TV show that's like, um, I saw him dancing there by the wreck of Machine. I knew he must have been about seventeen, said, he said, can I take you home?

And I'm like, well that's problematic, okay, so okay, Well this is the Beatles song. Well, I'd rather see you dead, little girl, than to be with another man. You better keep your head, little girl, or you won't know where I am. You better run for your life if you can, little girl, hide your head in the sand. Little girl, I kill you with another man. That's the end, little girl.

We'll let you know that I'm a wicked guy and I was born with a jealous mind, and I can't spend my whole life trying to to make you toe the line. You better run for your life if you can, a little girl, and it goes. Let this be a sermon. I mean everything. Let this be a sermon, honey, I mean everything I've said. Baby, I'm determined and I'd rather see you dead. That is a Beatles song. Everyone insane. Who which one wrote it? Though? Like that's the funny thing.

The McCartney, well, you know, Lennon McCartney. They agreed the rest of their lives as they ever wrote a song. I think Paul is like, let it go now that John is dead because it's impossible to write a song with him except with the Luigi board. But they agreed when they were in the Beatles that they would split every song they either wrote, like if John wrote one, it would always be Lennon and Paul was like, you didn't,

please take it. I have a feeling it was Paul because or Lennon because of the jealous part and how he eventually does that song. I'm just elis guy love it. It is the most sexual song I've ever heard a man admitting he's jealous. I feel like if you win after like Lenin or someone would be like, no, that's just a story of the big bad wolf, like you know what I mean, Like like I feel like in songs could get away with it be like no, that was like they have gone after him. He's been like

post canceled. Yeah, for being a womanizer and like beating. I think he beat Yogo. Maybe he beat his wife before her Um, yeah, had he definitely roughed up some ladies. But musical genius, let's excuse it. Um, I'm obviously being facetious, But am I I don't know? Um? Okay, so cut it canceled. Nicky's a let an apologist. Oh you mean like the whole fucking world. Um, then there's okay. So in this lyric thing, there's some other good ones that

aren'tst problematic. They're just like the worst lyrics, and by far the people who have the worst lyrics, the band that has quoted the most is Train. Um. One of those is You're So Gangster, I'm so thug, You're so gangster, I'm so thug. Remember that song. Um. Another one is, Oh I swear to you, I'll be there for you. This is not a drive by, Just a shy guy looking for a to ply hefty looking for I didn't know this was a lyric, Just a shy guy looking for a to ply hefty bag to hold my love.

He like hefty, Yes, Um yeah. The songs you can put any words in them. They're so catchy you could literally do anything, like you could I stabbed or in the neck. I'm a fun guy. You're bleeding all over you know what I mean. Like, they're so lyrically fun, you don't even you could say anything. It's like, well, thinking about Taylor Swift's new song is My Boyfriend comment is a god Comma is the with Breeze in My Hair on the weekend, karmas a relaxing thought, aren't you

jealous that for you? It's not Karma is a cat pern in my lap because it loves me. It's like, that's camp though Taylor's trying to be silly, like if you hate that lyric, you're doing exactly what she wanted to. Did you see the guy in Italy that he wrote a song and he's like, that's the best song that has ever been played it on the podcast once I forgot Yeah, I listen to that song all the time. It's so good. I forget the name of it because

it's gibberish. So this guy in Italy, he was so frustrated and like the seventies eighties that every single Italian pop song that would made the chance was American, and he was like, they literally Italians will listen to anything if it sounds like American. They don't even speak English, you know, English, but they just love it. So he goes, I'm gonna make a song that sounds American, but it's

not just to prove it. And of course the song went number one immediately and it is complete jip wish, but it sounds American, and even as an American, so you know someone who speaks English, it sounds to us like, wait, he's got to be saying something, but he's saying nothing. It's almost like it's it's so good because I don't know. Um, if you just type in Italian song that sounds American,

you'll find it. Um. This one was a good one, and I cannot believe it's true because I remember this lyric and thinking there's no way he rhymed Kodak with Kodak, but he does. It's pit bull me not working hard. Yeah, right, picture that with a Kodak, or better yet, go to Times Square take a take a picture of me with a Kodak that I understand if both were like two different meanings of Kodak. But he's using and it turns out,

um that uh, he was paid. He was a spokesman for Kodak at the time, and so he was paid to put that in the song twice, I guess. Um. And then there was one about these lyrics someone were making me laugh so hard, one of the ones where it's like one of my favorite songs ever and if you really break down I mean it's creepy. It's just a creepy guy out the standing outside the window watching her. You've got your chain tied to me, tired to have

me up again? Who's got you? My friend into your heart? Okay, sweet like Handley to my soul, sweete rock and sweet roll. Lost for you. I'm so lost for you for me, Come crash into me. Yeah us uh touch your lists just so I know. Oh and your eyes love it glows so I'm begging you to forgive me for you. And then it's like, hike up your skirt a little more and show your world to me. That is so

fucking hot. I can't even stand it. I guess he dis peering through the window at one point, but I think he's like almost longing for a girl across the way. Like I don't know. For me, it didn't come off creep, but I get it. Final thought, Um, I like that you games is not so much that you're like He could literally say like, I, you know, put like a tire iron in her ask, and you're like, I think what he means is like it's like a majestic like ride in the river or something. You know what I mean?

You don't drink the water. Is him dragging a woman and he's he's was telling her not to drink it, and then he went home and took advantage of her, but she chose to drink it. He told her, don't drink the water. Yeah, that's that's Dave. I will say that. When I was at the Dave show, was Sarahly not that um Hollywood Bowl. He was talking about a song called that he played called Sister, and it's, oh my god, it's like giving me chills just even thinking about it.

I have literal goose bump chills. Um, it's a beautiful song called Sister, and I wish busties would listen to it. But he told the story before it. He was like he was talking about like he gave a little speech about women's right to choose and how we need to support women and also and I ran with the like women are just so special and how you know we just need to look out for them. And he's so sad about like he has daughters and he was like he said this song when I wrote it, the first

time I ever played it, like for my family. We were in the car and my two daughters, my twin daughters were like two years old or one, one or two, you know, babies in the back seat, you know, sitting in their little chairs in the back seat. And he put it on, he put the CD in and played it because this was like twenty years ago. And he played it and it's like this beautiful song and he said, and I turned around and I looked and they were holding hands and it's called Sisters and its little two

twin daughters. And he was like, and it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. And I just feel like we need to do that more, like we all need to just hold hands more. And then he played the song and it was like, if you listen to that song with that story, it was just likely. And I were like crying, and we were like, we're sisters. Everyone's sisters. Is just beautiful line when he tells them to hike up their skirt, Yeah it's cool. Yeah, it's

really cool. Um So when point the one of the worst lyrics is thunder the thunder, thunder, thunderer for the thunder lightning and thunder, feel the thunder lightning and thunder. That's the thunder. By the way, I once did a five K or No, I did a ten k or something and it was a race, and I listened to that song the whole time, and I got the best time I've ever gotten when I've been running a race. Was the other best time I ever got was I listened to Kesha's Die Young. I don't know if you

know that song. Yeah, I forget hold on. Let me just pull it up really quick, young, young, young Young. I think it's just repeating that. I think that helps you. It's just like it's like, dude until we out at nine, donner get it wild running like we at dude, But like there's just certain songs that are great running songs. But that Thunder song, it was just like, oh, I was so into it. That was probably two thousand when

I did that. Um okay uh. And then I always loved the little Yaddi lyric that gets brought up a lot, and it says she blow that dick like a cello because he didn't know that a cello was not a trumpet. He thought a cello was like a trumpet. And um. It also says that like there's like five people were credited on writing that song, and none of them. Uh,

I love it. Um and then um, let's play that one video Noah, that um that you were sent that was about the the guy yelling I like this this This is a girl at TikTok who was like making a video off of someone else's videos. So at first you see the guy and he's it's one of these motivational guys that like Andrew follows for like a David Against type. It's just like, man, you get up and

do it. I'll go, I'll go, I'll go. And then this girl at the end of it, you'll see the girl does changes this fucking guy Yeah, fucking Jim, fucking Jim, go to the fucking Jim. Wait does this Does this work on the girl? Hold on, she puts on a stash like the guy. Go to fucking therapy. She just paces around like the guy. Know the gym doesn't count, go to therapy. That work. I love it. There's someone there's a nerdy guy. You told me you used to like be motivated by those things, like you said that

Chila bo like yesterday, yesterday, this morning. Those things get you. They work, they really do. There's a video of that guy going go to the fucking gym, and then there's a nerd that like clips it back and he goes, you got it at gym. I do love when people like clip back. Someone didn't wind with that guy where he spits and it hits him in the face like the water like they do that whole thing. Yeah, I

get motivated. I do there, but it comes in waves like you catch me on a Tuesday morning and I'm like, I don't know. So Andrew sent me a thing yesterday because we were talking about how like TikTok videos are fake and how the couples will like coordinate together to make a fake TikTok, and Andrew send a perfect example of one, and uh, I just want to play it really quick, and then I want to play something else right after this. Hold on. So this is what I

told him. Sorry, Okay. So it says I was trying to record a scenic video of me on this uh lake to send to my mom. So it's a guy that it said in writing. It says trying to record a scenic video to send to my mother of this beautiful lake. And at the end of it you'll hear why the video was fucked up and how this is probably my hurts your last night. So it's just the girl is like you've ever been recording something and then the person next you starts talking. You're like, you funked

up my video? Like they totally like I would not have thought that that was planned until you sent that. I probably didn't know. It's got to be fake. I think so too. I think now when I listened to it, especially then, like her tone at the end felt fake, like you can almost hear just like who says my asshole hurts from last night? Like it's just such it's such a classic thing that if you were making a video,

get interrupted by the most inappropriate thing. So last night I did not even show Chris that, by the way, okay, and not shown Chris that I was trying to secretly record him as I was watching Love Is Blind to put on my Instagram, just because he kept saying funny things and I was like, it's so funny to get a guy's perspective of the show, like what he's commenting on. So I'm recording him. He knows I'm recording him. I don't know that he knows I'm recording him, right, Okay,

does that make sense? Yes? Like I don't know that he knows but he does know. So this is what he did. So I'm on the couch raist stuff. Earlier on the ship, I was like fuck because I was I was being so secretive and I didn't think he could because he kept catching me. And then there were times when he did it, and so I really was sneaking. That one. It was like fifteen minutes after the last time I tried. I thought he was relaxed, he wasn't gonna catch me, and then he just busts out. Remember

all the races you were saying. It completely ruins my video. It was so funny. Second you're like, did I say anything bad? Maybe no, there wasn't even a second. I was just like, I know what you're doing, but it made me. It was really really funny. Okay, that is all we have for today. UM, thank you so much for listening everyone, Thanks for listening to my tirade. At the top of the show, I feel feeling that off

my chest. I feel better. I feel better. I am going to go take a nap and still dread this podcast. I have to do later today where I think everyone hates me, but you know what, that's life and I'm not gonna say because then people will go on it and go, we love you, and then they'll really get a lot of hate because it's too positive. But you'll see I'll promote it in some way if it goes well. Thank you guys for listening. Don't be cool and Jack mcfrayer, Okay,

back to back to basics. Then going back I'm starting