#284 Par Three For The Course

morning at like seven am and I just couldn't. I was just kind of like dattling on my phone a little bit before I drifted back to sleep, and I saw on Reddit that on the Taylor Swift message board that the Taylor Swift um album Midnight's, which is supposed to come out tonight at midnight, has been leaked as of maybe last night, and people on all the message boards are reviewing it, and I am obviously dying to hear it. Um, But I had like a moral issue

of like do I listen? Listen? It's not gonna prevent me from buying all the merch all the records, like everything, but do I want to hear it, because it's like, whatever it is, it's like a shitty ripped version. So it's not like it's gonna if I hear that, it's gonna make her less money somehow, but it does. I know it would hurt her. And she's probably devastated that

there's a leak because that even happened. She was doing this thing where she would reveal the every like couple of days, she would do this thing called like Midnights with Me with and then she would pull up a little ping pong ball out of a cage thing that she would spin and it would be a number between one and landa Vega. Do you remember who you landa Vega is? No, Maybe that's like a it's like a seventies thing because it's a kind of a seventies style.

I think maybe it was local. He didn't listen that song, I think, so like um in between um nintime TV, like right before the news, they would pull the lottery numbers and there was a hostess and she would go, I'm your landa Vega. She just oh, I couldn't forget sure. So many besties know exactly what you're talking about, But I that's a cultural reference. I just missed. Um, maybe it was local to New York. Wasn't maybe sorry about that,

Yolanda Vega. Well, yeah, so Taylor would be all Yolanda Vega about it, and she'd pick a ball and then she would say track number seven, and then she would turn on her amp and then she would pick up a phone and sometimes the phone would be upside down because she's cryptic and we don't even know what that means. And she would go a track number thirteen is called Lavender Hayes, and then she would hang up the phone and that's it. And Sweties are freaking out, like we

know the name of a song. It's and no other fandom do people freak out about the names of songs? Yet, even me, I was like, why is this such a big deal to know the name of a track? But it is a big deal because it's just because it just is. Everything about her is a big deal. But even that, when you hear the name of a track, do you think what the song will be about? Do you feel like you have a good idea from just

the name? Obviously? Like twenty two you know, well, there's one called Vigilante Ship, which is such a departure for her because it's only in reputation that, you know, her fourth album, fifth album, that she started even cussing or saying that like ship in songs. So to have it in a lyric is one thing, but to have it in the title of the song quite another. So it's called Vigilante Ship. Yeah, there's a part of you that goes, what could this be about? Who could this be about? Um?

Lavender Hayes immediately made a lot of people think of the lover lyrics. She was like, um, and there's a some things and in a mysterious way, there's a something. I forget that there it sounded like another lyric to her song, and I forget it now. I'm a bad swifty but um So anyway, then she would go in and give little descriptions anyway, I'm sorry to become too swifty on this. That got leaked, like her track list

got leaked somehow, she's in the middle of it. She probably you know, gave away seven tracks out of the fifteen, and all of a sudden that got leaked. And so she was putting these videos out every midnight, every couple of days, and we couldn't really anticipate when she was

doing it, Swifties were staying up late, you know. Um, and then one day it was just like she just put them all out, like she just put out every video of her picking out the balls because it got leaked and so now and also I just saw Techno Braun producing scooter and scooter. He's scooter yeah, scooter, yeah it is you think do you think do you think it's just someone in you know internally they're doing press kits. There's there's so much stuff that goes out before something

comes out. At her level, it doesn't really have to anymore. But for instance, there is a Walmart I guess that accidentally put it out because they have it all in stock. It's not like it arrives and they put it out like it's coming out at midnight tonight, but it is already in stores now in stock rooms. So there you go. There you have it, like someone just stole one from a box somewhere and then boom, it's out there. So I woke up this morning and I kind of I

googled Taylor swift leak. I was just looking for like snippets. I didn't want to hear a whole song. But I was definitely like, it's kind of like how I felt about like when celebrities. It felt like that, it felt like she doesn't want me to see this, this was meant for one person answer, and I felt like dirty about it. And then I went to a couple of sites and it was like clearly everything had been killed off that I can't find it. But then I wake up after my second waking up to a text from

my friend who sent me. He said, I know it comes out tomorrow and it said Midnight's dot zip and he sent me the whole damn thing. And I don't know what to do with it because I am I wanted let's go through, let's go, let's go right now. Oh my god. Like I guess I could listen to it, like we would could say allegedly I listen to it, and you could hear me listen to it and I wouldn't play it. But that's about all I could offer, and I don't even know if that would be legal.

But I am. I am in this weird zone of like I want to listen to it so badly, but I do want I almost want to do I wanted to do a reaction video. But today my day is so fucking long that um that means I wouldn't be able to tape a reaction video until maybe tomorrow, and then I can't listen to the album until tomorrow. So I just don't know what to do with myself. Have you ever been that excited about a release of something like a golf club, a documentary about golf clubs, a

opening of the golf club near you, anything golf? Have been anything that you? I mean, I think that our I'm trying to think of. Yeah, I have been obsessed about things, but never like outside of myself, where I'm like waiting. I can't think of a thing, but I can think of like you know, in the Jewish religion, we have to fast one day and we can't eat or drink water all day. And that's how I feel like your brain is right now. I know one day antorectic.

I did that for nine years every day I was fasting. I know what it's like to break a fast and how anticipatory it is. No, that's actually good, that's a really good like um example, I think, Look, if you send me the zip of Taylor Swift, I'll show you how easily. I could wait, you know what I mean, like in the same in the same regard, I can show you how fucking easy. It's called Midnight. It's kind

of a dressing though. I have to say, because she said originally these are all songs she wrote in the middle of the night when she couldn't sleep, like things that would wake her up in the middle of the night. That's what she originally said, right, And so I'm thinking, oh, these are songs from her whole life that she's written in the middle of the night that somehow haven't ended up on another album, Like why wouldn't you put songs you wrote in the middle of night on other albums?

That this is her tenth album and then should come out with like your next special by two pm or like somewhere like that's not cool at all. I wrote two pm in the middle of jokes, I wrote in the middle of the afternoon when I just couldn't sleep. Your midnight your midnight album would be sweaty bed. Is there an intruder? Dirty? Invisible? Invisible? Is it poop? Or spray tan in my sheets? Spray tan sheets and we're gonna leak each one? Oh my god, that's how many

sleep masks I have. By the way, I my bed is littered with sleep masks. It's just it is there everywhere in my bed because they fall us in the middle of the night and I desperately need one to get back to sleep, and sometimes you can't find when it falls in the crevice. So I just have them everywhere. So anywhere I reach, I grab a sleep mask and put it on my head. Um, I'm so excited about this album. Um, but here's my thing, and this is no shade stews. Don't come after me. I'm just saying.

At first, when she said it was an album that she wrote all the songs at midnight, there was a part of me that was like, are we getting old stuff? Because by the way, she's doing re records of her old albums at Scott Brown now owns right, And in those rerecords, she's released songs on those new rerecorded albums that she did that didn't make the album, that like almost made it. So now she's like a better artist

than she was when she made Red. So she's taking tracks that didn't really make Red and actually putting them out there. And they're called vault tracks. It's called that's what they're called. They were in the vault. So she's already been putting out stuff that she wrote long ago that wasn't really finished, and now there's a whole new scenes. There's a whole new album that she's like, these are

songs I've written through my life at midnight. She didn't maybe say through my night, but these are songs I wrote in the middle of the night when you can't sleep. I think that's what she said. And I found a little bit of a problem with that because I'm like, you've already given us songs from your past, like this is either a new album or no album, Like we I mean, I'll take anything from her. I'll take it.

If it's like recordings of her like sleep app recording her sleeping and you just hear her breathing and like muttering to herself, I would gladly buy that. So let me just say I and people can say whatever they want about this album that it's like not as good, Like I don't even know what people are being like a little bit of criticism that I see, I guarantee you it's fucking amazing, because this girl can't put out anything.

But but hits. She's never not put out nothing but hits, so there's there's no way that it won't live up to the hype. But um, then people are like this. But then, but then the other night she said, someone goes, are there going to be like vault tracks on this, like things you wrote in the past, And she was like, she did a video and she said, no, it's all new stuff, and that kind of contradicts what she said before.

So you only wrote this album in the middle of the night recently, like, But what I think she meant, if I were to gress, is that these are songs about things that keep you up in the middle of the night, and they are all new, and I'm very excited about them. And we'll see what I think about it on Monday. I'll give you Um. I might do a YouTube video about my reaction to it. Um, but it's all kind of hard to do because I'm so sincere when it comes to Taylor Swift, it's hard to joke. Um,

But I am very excited. Is there is it? No, there's no Apparently there's no departure because she was doing a seventies five for that Yolanda thing that no one was talking about like that. You know, she Yolanda Vegas, She's spinning this thing and there there's all of the pictures from it, all the artwork, all of the promotional stuff has been very seventies, and so everyone was thinking this is gonna be like Fleetwood Mac, that's gonna be like Joni Mitchell, this is you know, but it's not

at all. Apparently Apparently it's very uh, you know, for Swifties out there. It's very reminiscent of Reputation and Lover is what people are saying, and a little ever more mixed in which is pretty much three albums of hers which are all over the map, and those are my three favorite albums. Love or Lover and Reputation are my two favorite albums, which most Swifties would disagree with me on that. Um So I'm psycked and I can't wait, and it's just so exciting to know that there is

about to be like fifteen new songs. I might have that number wrong, forgive me if I do Swifties, but um that are going to be like the you know, the Spotify end of the year, like if I wrapped you know where they tell you what you listen to the most. I'm about to put in some numbers on that because this has been like not a great year for me listening to Taylor Soft NonStop. I don't last year I was in the like point five percent or

something like that of listeners. This year is not going to be that because she just hasn't put in anything new, which is not her fault. Um, but yeah, and I guess I just haven't listened to as much music. I've been like expanding my horizons a little bit. But I am so excited to have new music in my life. So jealous of your excitement, by the way, Yeah, I am too jealous like an artist that's like, yeah, that's true. This is like sports, Like this is like when football season.

Don't you get so amped up when it's like it's about to be football season? Yeah, And that lasts like two weeks and then I'm like, okay, really the background, I'm not over it. It's just like you're excited to just have something to fill your day, you know. That's really what the excitement is for a lot of people. I think they just don't know what to do with their whole day, and a very long they are so long. I love having long days because you can fit in naps.

But people who don't nap, what do you do with your day? Because I nap during my day. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I I'm trying to think of a musical artist that's out right now that I get excited. I guess Eminem a little bit. I used to at least get excited when he had a new album coming out, you know, yes, but yeah, no one. My friend over the weekend, Chris's sister and his sister in law and their friend Jamie were in Chicago to see Harry Styles concert,

which I'm so mad. I haven't seen him yet on tour. But they the day afterwards, they were at a They're going down in the street and they went to go get coffee and they saw on the street two girls in Harry gear, sobbing and holding each other, and they were like, Oh, he must be close. He's somewhere like this is the type of devastation you see after run into Harry Styles. And so instead of their cousin got shot and killed or Harry Styles one or the other. Yeah, Chicago,

so it's definitely one of the other. So they they quickly go, oh my god, and they know this cafe is one that Harry maybe has, like his hotel is around, Like someone has some intel that Harry's hotel is nearby. So they go and they keep walking and all of a sudden they see Harry Styles. He First of all, he's wearing the same thing he's been photographed in all

weekend around town. If you were someone who didn't want to be recognized, wouldn't you wear a different outfit than like a flowy summer dress as a as a man to not be recognized, you know what I'm saying, like

if you wanted to be a little incognitu. Not that he was wearing a dress that's a joke about how he dresses sometimes, but he was wearing something that was like, they go, we've seen pictures of him in Chicago in this outfit all weekend because he was doing a you know, kind of a couple of shows there or whatever, at least a couple um. So then they go up to him.

Maybe he has like uh, I was thinking, maybe he has a guy or a couple of carry Styles lookalike, And that would make sense if you're wearing the same thing, did you really get you off? And then he'd go out in like a hat and a mustache, and he's fine. So he sends out these Harry's all over the blakes. That's an interesting idea if if he were like Bill Murray. I believe that, if you were like a little scamp. But I feel like he's not like word to him.

They're walking. I think they're walking behind him. If you want to hear the whole story, if you're a huge Harry fan, it was on Monday's episode of The Courtney Show. It's on the podcast and they tell it and the girls call it and tell it. But um, Chris's sister, I believe, yelled out, Harry, you were amazing last night. We were there or something, and he turns around and they're kind of talking to him. They didn't talk about what they talked to him about, which I was frustrated by.

And then in their calling and the radio show, I didn't get the details of what he said, but I do know that Khaki Chris's sister bravely asked for a

picture and Harry declined, oh wow, I know. He just he was polite about it, but he was like, I'd rather not, you know, And they got to have a conversation with him, and then Emma Um, Tim, Chris's brother's wife, took a picture of Khaki talking to Harry, and Khaki I think was just so in disbelief that he either she was talking to him or he was in her presence and or he turned her down that Um she

said she couldn't really like function after that. But um, the hardest part is that they saw they saw him taking pictures with other people. But listen, there's a threshold. There is a threshold, and it was Sunday morning he had, but he did Thursday, Friday, Saturday. He's doing it all like there has. And I will say I should have told this to Khaki because I think she was a little bit hurt. I said, I think it's a interesting story. First of all, the getting a picture with Harry is

that Harry turned you down for a picture. And she was like you think And I was like, don't follow up with you think I was just saying that to be nice. I don't really know. I actually do think. I do think that's more interesting. Yeah, because what is a picture? If I showed a picture, you would there's there's no story there. Oh, she got a picture with

him and he looked he was smiling reluctantly. You know, guys have the other photo just like kind of looking at him and gazing at him, and he's smiling and looks like he's having a nice conversation. But he apparently asked what section they were in, which I think is a nice cursory question to ask people that were at your stadium concert the night before of like, oh yeah, I love that section. It's great. You guys love great signs, you know, Like, what else is he going to say? Um,

he doesn't know where Saint Louis is. If he was like where are you from, he's like from, Like it would be like us asking which from the UK? We don't know? Yeah, so that's me. But then they were just like losing their mind and they leave, and they're driving back from Chicago to St. Louis, like five and a half hour drive, and they they Emma and Khaki can't even talk to each other because they're just like processing what has happened. They can't get over it. And

Emma's like thirty five years old, Khakis thirty four. These are grown women with like children of their own, and they are They've never lost their mind about someone this much. In their life. Chris is like, I don't even recognize my sister. She's never been gaga about guys. She's never been like, she's never even been lady gaga about lady. She doesn't care about this stuff. But she's obsessed with Harry Styles. So they're going back there, like Canna talking.

They stop at a rest stop and they run into girls that were also at the concert because they're decked out in like Harry merch and Khaki can't help herself and they she goes, we've met Harry this morning. And these girls are like literally crying because she and the girl goes, I've never met someone who has met Harry Styles. And the girl is like crying about it, and like probably wanted the picture with Khaki and khakies like I can't anymore. I can't any wants. All right, let's go

back with more after this. All right, we're back. I wonder what that infatuation is with someone like Harry Styles. I think about, like, you know, I dry, I'm here, I live in St. Louis now, and like I look around, you don't see a lot of guys like Harry Styles are wearing feminine clothing. I wonder if it's something that's like so foreign thought, what is your thought? I think women are starved for femininity from men, and I think men are depleted of any kind of femininity they can't

ever be. There's it's the same Elvis phenomenon. If you saw the movie Elvis, Like women were going nuts for this guy that any all the guys were like mocking when he walked on on stage wearing this like pink you know, jumpsuit, eyeline, guyliner, like the whole thing. It looked feminine, and then women lost their minds. They're like coming in their seats and um. And I think that's it. Like I think that men, we do love masculine men,

there's no doubt about it. That's we love men. But there's women are craving more emotion from men and more whether you want to admit that. Could it be that it's like his like attitude of like I don't give a funk, I'm gonna go out the confidence to the confidence to wear something and to prevent in that way, and just to carry a whole stadium of people. I mean, and no, there's no doubt he is an incredible performer. By the way, and incredible performer, charisma. He was in

one direction. So he's got that boy banded thing going for him. But he's also like and he's you know, he's just and his music is fucking amazing. It's like inarguably great. And so but I do think, okay that women want at right now, we're all a confident a confident masculine man in white quote unquote feminine clothes. So it's like a guy that like he doesn't change, he doesn't like he's not Mr. Whatever, like you know what I mean, Like he's like I guess you would say

a manly man. He's not. He's not like hammering on the set and like he's not mund with a bunch of like really masculine tattoos. He's pretty feminine across the board. I've seen interviews with him, and it's not like it's he's still like you know, you saw the thing with Chris Bryan when he potentially kissed uh spit on him right, Like there's a toughness to him. That's it doesn't have to be like manly manly. But when he does interviews,

he's very confident. He's very like strong in his words and what he thinks men love masculinity, so he's definitely a fan, there's no question about it. But I think it's almost like the same vibe that like, um, you know, a more uh like sting or like yeah, even David Bowie, like women were crazy about him Prince. I always was confounded by women's like sexual desire for Prince because he, to me, seemed like a woman a little bit. But I was a young girl, so I didn't understand it.

But he was extremes. He was extremely alpha. Stories you hear about Prince is like he did things his way, his like he was very like assertive, you know what I mean, Like I think sometimes but I'm not saying that. That's not what I'm saying to I think people think femininity they think, oh then they're not asserted like, but I also don't think that men just being a man and then wearing a dress is going to be enough.

There is there's not like it's not like Harry has feminine femininity because he puts on a skirt and wears like flowery things. There is like a softness to him and there's an and as being a singer that's straight up pure emotion pouring out of him every second, like it's the most Like singing is so feminine for sure, Right, Yeah, I'm not saying that that he doesn't have both. I'm saying guys will look at him like they looked at Elvis,

like oh, this is a feminine girl. Like they'll look at what he's wearing and then just judge him based off of that because men want to do it so badly and they're so jealous they can't and they're it's like that they're just jealous that they can't take that risk because they would be too embarrassed, and that it's working for someone else. I think anyone that like hates on that. But it's also um. It is. It is

interesting how attractive it is. My friend Halla, her husband John, wore skirts in high school and that was the first time I ever saw a guy. And this is two thousand one. That was the first time I would ever hear it hurt. It was can someone find it? On? Someone did find me the John Mayer set list a pageant and there's no it doesn't say open for Guster got leaked twenty three years later. No, but it is smaller than um, so it doesn't say he opened for Guster.

But what it does indicate is that he was an opener because there's only like eight songs he played as opposed to Guster the same night played a lot of songs. So shout out to the bustie that found that for me. Um. I got a tool yesterday that I wanted to share with you guys. Um I got sent to or it didn't get sent to me. I ordered it online. It is called the Go Guarded Go Guarded spelled exactly like you would think. It is a ring. Okay, wear it on your finger running and it has a little like

rubber like so I like, this doesn't hurt. But if I stab you, there is a serrated blade. Scratch your eye by a mistake. Yeah, it's so cumbersome on my finger, There's no way I would scratch my eye with this finger Like you feel it so much and you only wear it running and you're very aware that you have it. And um, so if anyone like this, I had it in my purse yesterday and I was just like digging for an eyeliner and it scratched my finger. It's great.

I recommend it. These are great gifts to get for um Christmas, for your or Hanka for your quanza, for my news, for yes, for your girlfriend, for your wives, Like, honestly, this is this is an absolute great They are not. I bought this with my own money. They don't even know I have one. This is not a sponsored ad of any kind. Hairy style love it. It comes different colors and with the aggressive homelessness you know people on meth, people on weird PCP draw us where they're just attacking people.

You read about something new every single day and someone getting just like sucker punched this thing, I would really recommend it. I have another thing, Tiger Lady. Tiger Lady. It's more cumbersome. It's like a thing you got a hold in your hand and the claws come through your fingers like wolverine. This is so sharp it could fuck someone up so bad. It's awesome and it's kind of cute. So I'm very excited about it, and I recommend it. Go guarded. Don't DM me about it and be like,

what was the name of that? I said it eighteen times, Go guard it, don't waste my time link to it. I just can't. I can't tell you how many times people ask me, what is the book that helps you quit drinking. I like, literally every day I get what is the book that helps you quit drinking and smoking? I is it just a reason for people to reach out to me. That was the first joke that um, Chris Ever and I Ever said to each other. As I said I quit smoking with the book. He was

a Game of Thrones. And I didn't get it because I thought Game of Thrones was a show, and so I was like what, And he was and he thought I was stuck up in like a stuck up comedian that like pretends not to understand normal people's jokes, and so he thought I was a bit. I thought he was talking about a show. I didn't know a Game of Thrones as a book, And UM, so yeah, that we were up to a great start. And but people always ask me what the book is, and I I think if you put in my name, it's the first

thing that comes up. I guess it's just an excuse to get in touch with me. But and you know what, it works, because every single time I right back instead. I just wish I could go like the classic if you have to ask, you don't know, Like I wish I could do my old clear line I'm coming off like a bit this weekend. I know there's some people that's like, she's stuck up. Why can't she just respond to people. You would not believe the amount of d

m s I get every day too. I just want to tell people you would not it's and I'm not bragging. Hundreds of people asking me the most inane question, and it sucks because they can see when you've read it, you know, so then you just look so rude if you don't write back. If it's a question, you can't just hard it. Sometimes just harding something makes you feel like that's not enough, and it's almost like really rude

to herd it. So sometimes I just don't write back to anything, and then that looks less rude than harding it, because harding it looks like I read it, but I just don't have time to write back. Whereas if I don't write back, sometimes maybe people can think I didn't read it. But it's like it's never ending. What andrew you?

I've heard people go, you never wrote back to me, so you do the same thing, right, Like it's it's too overwhelming with how much people just send you Just basically the question is some of the things are like they they need like a full on paragraph back if I write back, But I don't get this ship you get what I don't think people realize with your d m s, and I might be talking for you, but you get like you get like four or five in between, like a heartfelt messages, dick pics or like guys being

like I'll eat your feet or whatever. So I'm sure those those are great because they're easy to ignore, you know, like it's easy to just not right back to those. I actually prefer like gross messages because then I just go, oh, I gets to block this person. But sometimes people are like, I thought you'd like this video. I like, I was thinking of you when I saw this, Like and by the way, I know that they're busties listening that are like, but you wrote back to me and you said you

liked it. I actually did like it, Like these are nice things that people are doing. But I think that's sometimes people forget. I'm not trying to be like like, I'll say it. You don't only get a ship ton of d MS. You also get a bunch of texts and emails, and you get text messages from people that you work with, from celebrity from people I don't work with and that I don't know all day long, there is my number has been leaked. Sorry, Taylor, I understand

what you're going through. And I get text messes all day long. They're just hey Nikki, that's all it says. And I don't know if it's someone who you know change their phone number, and it could be like and they go hey Nikki, yeah, or they go is this you? And they'll send me a screenshot of someone posing as me online, so I have to write back to them and go, no, it's not me, and they go, yeah, that really concerned. And now this conversation started someone who

has my my number I don't even know. But um. I talked to Neil Brennan last night. I ran into him, co creator of The Chappelle Show, and he told me that he is he's done with with Instagram, like he's taking a break from it because it's just it just

never ends. Um, and he's he's more worried like people will just get he did a joke about Kanye or something, so now people are coming out against him as being insensitive or whatever, and it's just like he's just starting to like panic about like go down these spirals of stupid stuff. But I do love people writing me, but there's something about I don't know. I guess I relate because I would love to be in touch with someone that I felt really connected to. But I just gotta say,

it's like it's a lot. And there are certain people that early on they messaged me, maybe earlier on or on a day where I had a lot of caffeine, so I wrote back to them once and now it's become if I don't write back, it is like they get a little pissy and they get a little like rude. And I've never met this person before. All I've done is probably give them free tickets, when they all have done is do things for this person. And now one day I don't write back and they get an attitude.

I just it's it is interesting to think about when you hear stories of like I sent a letter to Steve Martin and he wrote me back and I still have it, and it's like it's such a big deal. I mean, who knows how many letters it is a big deal. There are people, but people wrote these letters.

They don't know if Steve Martin read them. You know, that's the difference, like they don't know that they got they probably sometimes what they do they go, is this really Nikki or her assistant, And it's like, well, I'm not going to now send a picture of me holding today's paper to prove this is me. I'm not. I'm not even actually gonna write you back after that because I don't need to prove myself to you. I don't

what what's it's just um, but I do. I am grateful for if you're a bestie and we've communicated a lot and it's always been like nice and cordial, please keep writing me. It doesn't bother me. It's like it's it's um the ones that, yeah, you could just hire a team that just puts out your Instagram ship and you never even have to see it again, But then you want control over it. So it's hard to decide

whether I do like some of the correspondence. I you know, I know that there's gonna be some Reddit thread being like she's changed, she's a bitch now, but I'm I'm swear to God, I'm not. I wish I could write to everyone friends with everyone. I'm the same bitch I've always been. She's always been with a new voice, like just the other day, Like I kind of felt for Harry because you know, now he's dis pointed to fans because he didn't take a picture, and it was like, man,

he could have been cooler. And the truth is, yeah, he could have been. How hard is it to just take a picture. But the problem is, I'm sure that if he took that one picture, other people would have seen. If he was in an elevator, I'm sure he would have taken the picture because no one that would be around to see, Oh you can take a picture with Harry styles. I want to get in line, and so

that's what happens. I just read so many celebrity message boards and celebrity fans are so rude to celebrities if they is there's one little story about a celebrity being slightly like not in the mood for it that day, and you don't know what that story is. You don't know how rude that person was that came up to them. And by the way, I love being recognized. If you see me in public, bug the funk out of me, asked for a picture, have a conversation, you say no, no,

there's not even playing. Oh no, I would never I love every Now. Listen, this is me right now with a out a million followers on Instagram. When I get to there's ever a day in my life where I have thirty million, I'm I Actually, I don't think I'll I will say, I don't think I will ever not want to take a picture with a fan or like it's too easy to take a picture just a selfie now here's nothing. Don't give your camera to someone else to get the because that's not even a good picture.

Selfie is just so much better because you get closer to the celebrity. They kind of put their arm around you. It's a close up shot. It is a better picture. It takes less time. Um, but I love it. I love when people say something and they take a picture. Um, every time. I will always love it. But and you can d M me and I might read it and right back to you. But I'm not gonna hate you if you write me, I'm not gonna remember that it

was you. I don't remember. Sometimes people go, We've readen on Instagram and I'm like, I don't remember because your name is you know, whip boy, Like I don't know what that I don't know you as I don't know who that would be. And there's and I wish that someone could just see inside my d M sometimes to under stand because I just think that some people think that I could be I just don't. I hope you just don't think I'm rude. Um, it's just too much. There's only so much you can take. And I just

related to Harry on the most small scale. I mean, it's just I can only imagine how much he gets bombarded all the time. But that's why I'm like, yeah, well, I'm thinking his headspace. If he's still wearing the same thing four days in a row, is either very good or very very bad. Yeah, it's one. It's one or the other. They're like, if I'm wearing the same sweats, I'm probably either the saddest I've ever been, or I or you just or you just found it there that

really were So I'm guessing it's probably the latter. He's probably just like, I'm sucking tired. I'm I just did a forty city tour. I'm still have another hundred to go, you know what. He was holding a coffee, so it's probably like first thing in the morning for him. Yes, I love he'll perform, and he has he has a car.

Did you see the video? He has a car behind backstage like in the in the actual So he's just like I'm sucking out, Like it's just so funny where it gets to the point where you go from I'm gonna wait by a door and say a load to everyone because I'm so appreciative too. If I don't get out of here within three seconds, I'm gonna lose my mind.

I don't know. It's like like it grows so much that you can't handle it, Like and I just think that people don't understand it, and I don't even understand it that level of fame and what how hard it must be in the burden of it, like and how people have opinions about you. I mean, his relationship is being taken apart every single day online people are making assumptions about his girlfriend, about him, like just everything, every

move you make, someone has a goddamn opinion. It would be even the small amount of opinions that circulate about me and the very like some tiny dusty corners of Reddit, the Times have stumbled upon them, or it's devastating. It's do you have the stating to read people having a take on you when they don't know who you are, or people who are like I used to like her. That's the worst thing, is like she I used to and now I hate her, Like there's she's changed, like

people who get mad when you change? Is everyone supposed to stay the same? Do you know that you changed to? Do you know that everyone sheds their skin, like every single cell every second? When she was poor, like now she talks about being rich, It's like, well, what do you want me to pretend to be poor? I'm sure I'm agnarious in many ways changing, but it's not it's not I don't know, it's uh, it's do you think?

And that's why I don't read stuff. Do you think it has to do with with musicians you signed like these contracts with these record labels where then you have to get paid in advance, so then you have to do a certain amount of shows just because you have

to pay back what they advanced, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like that'd be a tough position to being and that's why they go crazy a lot of times because it's like you have to, yeah, you have to like her, is not like needing to make money, like he could afford to pay whatever record couple they're making money off of him so much funny, but these tours are so lucrative. I mean, he doesn't because he loves it. You can tell that there's like a joy from his shows.

You know. Emma and Khaki, who went to the show, said that like it was the greatest night of they've ever like they've never been to a place with more happiness. And that's the same vibe at like Swifty shows too. It's just like pure happiness. But that's kind of the vibe at any kind of I mean the sporting events, there's a lot of anger, as we've talked about, but like music, like concerts are just pure joy. I don't know why I don't go to more of them. I um,

I gotta have a long day ahead of me. Can we get to like one news story? Sure? Do you want to do a sports moment? Yeah, let's get this. One's pretty good. Here's Andrew's weekly Sports. I know we haven't done this in a while. I found one last night that I think you'll like. Oh this is from you, It's so funny. Yeah, okay, let me pull it up. I wonder what have you heard of any golf moments.

I mean it's going to be about golf. Uh, there's a lot of stuff on the Live Tour, but I doubt it's about that live Tyler, You're right, it's not. It's definitely don't know what's the live tour. Don't even tell me. It would be an hour and a half. Okay. A golfer is suing a Ford dealer and a country club after they did not award him and f one fifty truck as a prize for hitting a hole in one during a charity golf tournament. Yeah. So it's the tenth hole and they said anyone who gets a hole

in one thing, they put it on Facebook. There's evidence and when this is so funny. When he won, the country club employee called the Ford dealer and a person at the store responded, oh, don't tell me, and the

country club employee answered, unfortunately it happened. So then so that they're not giving this guy a car because they're saying that the country club did not understand what like they just used their imaging for promotional and that that the dealership did not know that this was like being promoted as like giveaway car and they did not agree to it, and they just gave them imaging, but they did not agree to like actually give a car, so

they're not getting this. So this guy is suing both the country club and the car dealership to get the dealership unliked all the posts on face So yeah, so the dealership liked all the posts promoting the tournament. Yeah yeah, I went unliked it. It reminds me of my fucking friends ex husband who cheated on her and went back and when he was having an affair, she found that, like she didn't know. She didn't like. She was like really confused because you didn't know he was cheating on her.

She just saw one day, like on his Instagram all the posts with like them together in it. All the captions were changed from like You're the love of my life the happy three year anniversary. The captain team edited them all to just be like an emoji of like you know, just like eyes like looking to the side, or like just like one of those whimsical like stars,

like like shooting stars. And it said edited on it, and he denied it, Like dude, this all aligns up with exactly because when it came out, he was like, that's when you were hanging out with her. That's when I see all the venmo transactions between you guys, because you were going to have drinks together, like it all. It's no, no, he did that so that she was when she looked at his Instagram, she would see that

their marriage was falling apart. Girls in relationships, look out for your boyfriend's and your husband's editing past photos of you, because they know that the girl that they want at work, who they're kind of flirty with, is going to go back on their Instagram and see if they have a girlfriend, and they want to hide any evidence of her, and so they'll go back and edit it to make sure it seemed like maybe that relationships over or they want

us close and they weren't as in love. So that lines up with their whole bullshit story of like we're actually struggling right now and we're separated when the woman has no fucking idea about it. Yeah, so I love the idea of of of a photo of their wedding day and the captions to paid actors like love this modeling gig. I got, Yeah, friends hanging out love my sister, and it's like them kissing at the altar. My other friend tripped me and I fell and get put a

ring on her finger. So here's the problem with this thing is that this golf this dealership, and this golf club did not get insurance, which is a popular thing. There is our entire insurance companies that exists for by the way, only me. Yeah, someone hit a hole in one and they didn't get the car because it was like a very expensive car and because they don't think it's ever going to happen. Because do you want to know the odds of getting a hole in one? Like?

So I looked into it and there's a whole article about one in three. Insurance firms operate on the premise that the odds of something happening are small enough to assume a repeated risk. Obviously, um, the chances of someone getting a hole in one are fairly small. What do you think it is for amateur golfers? One and how many? Probably one in uh two point five million? Way off? Okay, it's one in twelve point five thousand. Oh, that seems really low actually, And for pro golfers, what do you

think it is? Probably one in uh? If it's one in twelve point five for amateur, so one in uh three thousand, uh, But then four d fifty million rounds of golf are played every year, and because of the scale and popularity of sport, the feet, the feet happen on a daily basis, so people are getting holes in ones on a daily basis. There's one, I have one, you have one? Win? Yeah, I have one. But here's

there's a there's an asterisk. Unfortunately it was a part three course, but it was a hundred and forty yards, so it's a real part three. But it was a there's part three courses, so there's a real part three. What does that mean part So there's like a nine hole part three, so every hole is a part three. It's like so when they don't have a ton of land, they make it all part threes. So I made it on a part three course, not a whatever anyhow. Sorry, but what year was this? This was when I was

retired in my twenties. And did you get the car my dad let me borrow her day? Did you buy round one at the golf course? Because that's the rule. I didn't know this was the rule that sucks. So you win and then like thousands of dollars in jack and Japan. It is so customary for I read about this. It is so customary for people to get a hole in one in Japan, and it is like you have to buy everyone, you have to throw a gigantic party and so like. So it's a huge industry um to

get golf insurance hole in one insurance in Japan. And the off chance that you're gonna have to spend three thousand dollars for a party that night, what were you gonna say? And Oh no, it's just that my dad let me drive his uh Cadillac CTS around uh and whatever. I don't what. It wasn't because of a hole in one. But I left the sky roof open just like an inch and it poured like all night, and it was like like when I came home from having my kind of overdose, Remember when I fell apart. I told the

story on here before, but give it some contact. I just fell a bar and my dad's like finally used my car and literally like the third day I left it, Scott, that's what he thought. It was going to change your life. He was just like, dude, come on, man, how what did you do after that? With your like where you Was that just a new bottom? Yeah? Or was that just like our part three? For the course we gotta go to break. There's probably a one in six chance

I was going to leave that skyroo. All Right, we're back, um, Today's Thursday, so it's time for some fan tracks. Let's get to it, all right, No, what we got today? Okay, let's start off with um, Naomi, Hi, besties, bestI Naomi here. I have a question similar to the several debate. The phrase I'm interested in is just yet? How long is just yet? Um? I already googled it and everything, and obviously there's no definition like we found with several, It's

more contextual. My context is I'm waiting to hear back from my dream job. It's taken a long time. I reached out, they said they experior message. I'm afraid I don't have an update just yet. We are still in depressive of interviewing. Blah blah blah. Thank you for a patients, So when is just yet? When am I going to hear back from the freaking job? And I think it would be really different if I'm asking how long is dinner ready? Not just yet? Are we there yet? Not

just yet. When spy we do rude question, but not just yet. Just you get it? So I love that, you know, for an anxious person, no control, obsessing my email every five seconds, give me the answer or when am I sec from this job? Um? Let me know what you think is and give me this freaking job? Thanks? Oh man, that's so funny. Yeah, several more jobs, Andrews. That your definition or the real one? What do you

think I mean? Just yet? For me, it's tough because it's like it's almost like a cop out by the company. I feel like we're actually looking for someone else. But I yeah, I don't love it. Just weeks, but I don't three weeks. Yeah, I would say two weeks before you write again. Um. And also like I think it's good you wrote back, Naomi. I think it's um God, I really hope you get this. I am so pulling

for you. We don't have an answer for you just yet. Okay, let me just think for a second if I got that, we don't have an answer for you just yet. I don't think I've ever gotten the answer I wanted when I have been told that we don't have it just yet, because generally it goes we should know soon. It is like more of a hopeful thing. Um, just yet, it doesn't It doesn't mean like you didn't get the job or that it's it's it's such an answer that you give to someone that you the girl that let me

just say this. I don't think it's a bad sign about like you didn't get the job. I think it's still very much able to be yours. I think it's about this person has no fucking clue when they're going to know, Like they just that they're not really worried about filling the position that much. They're taking their time. There's not exactly it sounds like the kind of place maybe you wouldn't want to work anyway, And I know

that's tough to hear. Um. That's like when you know a guy doesn't write you back and your friends are like, you wouldn't want to be with a guy who doesn't write you back? You're like, yes, I do, but I can't just yet. He has great taste. If he doesn't like me, I can't take out the dinner just yet. I can't. It's a very interesting like, Naomi, I feel like you've just stumbled do like a Jerry Seinfeld bit of like, what's with just yet? Yeah, yeah, when's dinner?

Not just yet. That's a different time than if you ask for a job. When it's when a job we haven't filled it just yet. It's a great little like it's such a um yeah because it it doesn't. I wonder what you found when you googled. But I would say to you that, um, I would be the squeaky wheel, and I would ask again in two weeks if I were you. It's a good question because I was thinking about bringing this up at the beginning show of like

when do you follow up? I feel like if you don't hear back from a text and you don't hear back from an email, are those different times when you follow up with the person, Like I feel like an email you can wait a little bit longer, Like, Okay, I'm not gonna ask for a follow up a text. Are you trying emailing clubs and stuff? Is that what we were talking about? Uh? This was for like I hired someone to like golf clubs, do something for me anything?

Oh well, if you're offering a job, it's weird, Like if you're offering to give someone money and they didn't get back to you. I want you can follow up immediately that you can follow up as much as you want. You're like, hey, I'm going to give you free money. Are you available or not? That's a good boy. I should have to you should be just yetting them unbelievable. When am I going to get that ChIL from you Andrew for that job I did? Oh, it'll come through

just yet. That's what I'll send you several dollars And you know, just like, okay, let's take that out of the equation. Is a text more a time of the essence than an email? You know what? I Sometimes? Yeah, it's tricky because it depends on the person, right, Like if if I ask a question, usually I know people see text messages. Like if I'm if I'm familiar with someone enough to text them a question, um I know

they saw it. And if it's someone that I'm just like, like, you know, there was a guy last night, um or I was running late for a show last night, and I sent a message being like, hey, what time is the show running late? And they didn't right back, and I just like did a question mark on it, you know, just to like bump it up in their thing. It's not going to annoy them. And maybe I have the

wrong number. Maybe it's not. That person isn't working that night, so it's like fine, But um, I think that following up with emails is probably you would wait a week. And I only know that because I'm the person that needs to be followed up with stuff constantly, and people usually wait a week. And that's why I love the little feature on Google that's like, this person wrote you

two days ago, would you like to respond? They seem to have several question marks in the email, and do you want to keep would you succeed in the industry that you've worked so hard to even get this far in? Why don't you write back to this person that could really help you? What do you scared? Why do you have my password? Yeah, it's almost a little bit. Why did Siri just turn out you? Just like something happened

that caused Serri to go what do you want? I think? Um, all right, let's get to the next fan t Rex now me good luck on your job. I really do. I'm I'm sending vibes your way. I have a good feeling about it, Like keep this updated. What happens? Okay, here's misheard lyrics story. Hi, Nikki and Andrew and Noah. I first want to say, Nikki, your voice sounds so fucking amazing. I'm so happy for you. You can especially tell the difference when you get really excited or passionate

about something and you talk at a higher pitch. So um, congratulations and uh congratsuming on the other side of your silent time. The reason that I'm calling is because I was listening to the pod as one does, and y'all are talking about how some disease names sound a lot better than what the condition actually is, and it reminded me of this lyric misunderstanding. I had an elementary school. My mom used to listen to country music all the time in the car on the radio, and there was

some song at the time. I don't know what it was called, but the Tequila makes her clothes fall off. But the way he sang it, it was more just kind of I just didn't know what he was singing, so I would sing, leukemia makes her clothes fall off, and it's true. I think this is because I had heard the word leukemia, but I didn't know what it was, and so I just was like, leukemia and my mom was, what are you singing? And then she explained to me

what tequila was and what leukemia was. So um and Dobeka and judge, judy, judge, study, that's a good one. We can we can, you know, I guess we could. Yeah, um, okay, Yeah. It is funny that leukemia is something we often hear about his kids, because I guess that's just it's just a it's a disease that gets a lot. It's a type of cancer that gets a lot of press. Whoever's like running the leukemia press wagon market doing a good job. We we we hear a lot about it. We don't.

You don't hear about scleroderma until your thirty seven. But leukemia, yea, But yeah, that is there's always one kid from the town that had leukemia. So it was always like one kid. And it's funny to like that even if your kid and you're like, tequila makes your clothes off? Why would I drink make a woman's clothes off. It's all so confusing to kids. But lukemia makes one sense because like you probably lose weight, your belt is doesn't fit anymore. I don't know. I liked it. I love him as

heard lyric next time? That would my favorite misheard ever. Just the difference of the line is so good. And I wonder how she discovered that she was saying it wrong, Like did she sing it once? And her mom goes, what did you just say? Leukemia makes her close? John? Did you hear what your daughter just said? I got daughter drinking tequila? Is she drinking? Are you dunk? Alright? Final thought? Okay, let's go to Andrea. Hi, no, junkie,

I have to really speed through this. Um. But this is bestie Andrea, and I'm currently calling in to tell you that I'm not having sex with a guy who definitely wants to send sex with me. Um. I've always struggled with this in the past because One, I don't want to come off like a loser prude. No offense to all the virgins out there. You do you boo boo um too. I've been a really young phony little bit what can I say? And three, you know you don't know if you want these guys to commit to

you because you don't know them. You meet them out, dating out. But I found three things that have really helped me shift my mindset. One, I've done the casual relationships for years now, and it fucking sucks and it really does not serve me, and it actually makes me feel really should be a shitty about myself. And I had to really sink in last year, I had to get a coploscope because some fucking idiot loser gave me HPV and that was traumatizing and made me feel really powerless.

And three, I'm almost twenty and just finished my peach in chemistry, which I feel like really aged me, and I now feel table to be around with these fucking loser idiots. But the real reason I'm telling you this is because I have said no to to guys who try to keep making moves after we've been making out, And boy, that makes me feel so powerful. I think previously I felt what I thought was powerful when they'd

see my body and be horned up whatever. But now and then my loving my body for what it is era, so I'm probably not as hot as I used to me whatever. And literally now if these guys don't want me, I know it's just because they don't respect me, and that makes me not give a fucking shit about them. So it's definitely a mentality shift. And I know, um it's hard to convince people to do this whatever. But anyways, I love you guys so much. I love the pod um, and I love all the besties. Jail Jail I was

my favorite one. Yet it didn't even have anything to do with anything intercal either. Maybe a guy to game r HPV needs to go in there. Oh my god, I love this. Yeah, it is that's she is so perfectly like. It used to feel powerful and yet yet

it still does. Sometimes when like you can make a penis get hard by someone looking at your body like there's some power in that, you're just like, wow, I'm But there is so much power when someone desires you so much and you're able to say like I'm not ready, like respect like just not doing it, to like funk with them and like withhold but doing you're actually not ready. Yes, yes,

it makes you want them so much more. It's listen, saying no to sexual advances that you don't really want to do and you're not ready for yet and you're not like craving wildly is not only it's just that's the That's the thing. I don't think that there are a lot of times so that I think I've wanted to have sex and just didn't yet because I just knew deep down somewhere I wasn't ready and I was totally scared of getting abandoned by these guys that every

time I slept with they would change. So there is a thing of like going against what you want a little bit like because you do I don't know, like know what do you know what I'm saying? Like, there are times where it's easy to not have sex with the guy because I'm like, I'm just like not in the mood. This guy is not like actually turning me on enough. Yes, I can easily do it like yeah, or I could like making out with his m is nice, Like I'm not totally unsold on the idea, like it'd

be fine. But but there are times where I'm like, I really want it, and I just don't want to give it to them because I guess I I just don't want to close the deal yet because I don't I don't actually feel secure. If if there was any time there's a hesitation, it's because there's something in you that's not ready yet. So like I guess listen to that hesitation. And it's been a long time since we

kind of talked about this. But if you're a young girl out there or any not even young, if you're a girl out there and thinking that sleeping with a guy before you get what you want out of the relationship, whether it be a commit it um and like before you talk about like where, what is this? What do you want? What are we? And I'm not talking about like do you want to eventually have a girlfriend? Do

you think I could be that? That's not it. It's like you're my girlfriend now, then you can sleep with them. And then some people go, no, you know, why would you want a guy to be your boyfriend before you even have his dick inside you? Honey? You know if it's going to be good or not. Don't act like you have to like eat the cow before you buy it or whatever the funk that is. Like, there's so

many excuses. I think women tell themselves that they can sleep with people before because it's easier to like, guys want you to. It's hard to tell a guy no, it's hard to like resist your bodily urges. But I think, um, yeah, I have a friend who falls into this trap to where she's like, I just want good sex. He just has to have a good dick and he needs to, you know, know how to use it. And then it just it never lasts, or she'll she'll get into a

long term relationship. She gave up an apartment that was so good to move in with a guy and then they ended up breaking up, and it's just like it complicates things so much good sex. Eventually, you'll both get old at some point if you're going to stay together forever, and sex will become not as important to you. And also good sex will come if you have a good connection and an intimacy. And sorry, no one even knew you dropped off the ticket Andrew dropped off for a second,

but I'm so sorry everybody. I just think that I'm really proud of that bestie for sharing her story about that. And I felt like from what I heard from her too, and maybe you talk about this, I'd love to hear. But um, I thought it was like very powerful and the fact that like she went and got her PhD and it sounded like she love herself more. Oh HD, Both it was actually yes, yes, that's right, both know.

It just sounded like she came into her own of like loving herself and not needing that outside of like um, like whatever approved feeling of having like a guy having to approve of her, like she just found her value within herself. And I think, like I think, if you're like just measuring yourself on how sexy you are and like whether or not a guy will fuck you and you're not going after things you're passionate about, you're gonna be stuck in that mold of like, oh, I gotta

give it up, you know. Like I feel like if you find a passion outside of your makes you feel, it will make you only stronger sexually and not like you have a hole. That's yeah, yeah, it's so true. Even though I was like a accomplished stand up accomplished in my career, had all these successes, I still measured my worth and I still struggle with it today, measuring

my worth by if men want to suck me. And it's really hard not to do that, and if you're but that is the goal, because men are not gonna want to fuck you at some point in your life, if you live long enough, you will lose it. So you better develop some sort of sense of self that is not dependent on you being fuckable. And it's hard to do, and it sounds like Andrea got to it. And also it is never ever not worked to be

a little bit of a tease. There's never I've never heard one story of a girl having a guy wanna fuck her, her saying no, and that guy never calling again. I haven't heard it. If you have a story like that, share it with us. But it's so count It's the secret that no one's talking about is that men, they will act in the moment so annoyed if they don't get what they want, and you will feel like you're

disappointing them. You will feel like they're never gonna talk to you a gonna You're gonna feel like they're gonna talk about you behind your back and call you a tease. It works, it never doesn't work. They will like you more. Don't be the like, don't don't text them constantly, don't be the first to text them, don't be the first or the last attacks. That's my advice to girls. And I know there are guys out there being like, you're

making this so hard, Nikki. How do we know if a girl likes us, like pursue us, that's what we want. And I think there's like a there could be like a disconnect and like be the biggest like boss bitch you can be like in regards to your career, your work and everything. Like I think I think there's an idea of like, oh, men aren't gonna like us as much if we're like powerful and smart and independent. And I think that's like something that is old school, and a lot of men don't like you to be honest

with you as someone who is those things. I do think it turns men off. But I have found a guy who is not intimidated by that, and like it's it's not every guy, but you don't want a guy that's not gonna be able to put up with that, because you're gonna have to give away a part of yourself. So if you do have those qualities, do not squash them. Try to like yeah, try to find who you are

without any fact where men don't exist. When you are able to carry yourself with confidence and like feel like lovable without any kind of validation from men, that's when that's when you will be the most attractive. But who knows it's it's it's a delicate science. I haven't had it figured out yet. I'm still struggling with it. And we'll keep talking about it. Thank you so much for your messages on the show today all week. This has been such a great week of shows. We'll be back

next week. I'm still in l a um come see us on tour. You can get my tory. It's at Nikki Glazer dot com. St. Louis, Memphis, Thousand Oaks, California, Santa San Jose, California, Vermont, um Uh Davenport, Iowa. Another city in Iowa. I have two cities Innowa coming up next week, so I hope to see you there. Thank you guys so much. Check out andrews Tort It's at Andrew Collin dot com, Andrew Collin Comedy Andrew Colin Comedy dot com, Austin, Indianapolis, Buffalo amazing. All right, guys, thank

you so much for listening. Don't be and Jack Cargan just jam Jack jams. Yeah. I like the short ones. They're fun.