#283 Stuffocated

it's around the corner for me. I could go there, and um, I might do that, but I don't know, like a window shopper and I saw here Andrews in St. Louis. Yeah, exactly for things that I should activities and solutions for my skin and um well being the old I'm I'm on the strip where I walk a mile down to get Starbucks, and I swear to God, it's Juice bar Pilates Studio, CBD Infusions, Juice bar Uh, facialist, nail salon, Juice bar Uh Pilate Studio. It is. That's all there

is on this It's crazy. It's just who who needs this much stuff. It's just I felt bad about myself the entire time. There was a place to get ketamine infusions, which is something that people have in l I do for depression, which I was kind of interested in um or like you know, ivy stuff. But it's just this is a very UM's stay walking around in muted tones with like just very flowy clothing, either very tight clothing like Lulu like tight you know, yoga pants, or like

very flowy. But everything is like Beij's and you know Brown's, Like everything's muted. Everyone seems peaceful and serene. Everyone has a dog that's like behaving itself. Everyone's dog is like on ketamine too. It's crazy. Um oh, Andrew just disappeared. Well we'll wait for him to come back and I'll just talk until he appears again. He literally like just dropped off like there was I feel like there was doing a Yeah, it really did feel like that. Um so, yeah,

I might try pilates or whatever. I am. Oh, he's coming back. He's magically appearing again. Here comes David Copperfield. Did you hit something with your foot or something? What's going on you guys? I'm getting a flower delivery. Hold on one second. Oh, wait a second, there's a man with flowers that just walked by and he's kind of looking at my door. Let me just take a peek, and that's how they get me. Well, hell, oh, it's for me. One second? Hello? Hi? Is that for me?

For NICKI? Yeah, that's me, thank you. Hold on, let me um, let me get you a little tipola. You just moved there yesterday. Someone found me andrew someone found me. I'm guessing the only person who has my address is the one who sent something. What do you tip of flower guy? Ten bucks? That's probably seems good a guy. Yeah, that's nice. He's taking a picture of it to confirm that it's there. Do you want me in it to go? Yeah? She's producing the picture right now. Hit the lighting rate?

Got it? Thank you because I'm I'm doing a podcast right now. All right, Thank you so much. Have a good one. All right. It is kind of insane looking. It's very beautiful. It's got a lot going on. It looks like a um butterfly shape almost. It's got My mom would think this is hideous. I'll say that whenever I get flowers. My mom is just like I wouldn't have done that. I'm like, well, okay, well it's not for you. Oh my god, it's actually so beautiful. Oh

this is definitely from Chris. Oh my god, it's so pretty. It's really well done. Why did he send me this? What did I do? I know what I didn't do last night? Mission uncompleted. Um, oh my god, it's so pretty. This place he always gets it's from seed floral fitting. Um. He always gets some from here, and they're the most beautiful arrangements. I was just gonna buy flowers today because I was like, this place needs a little spice up. Okay,

it's for um. He sent it to my UM. I wish I could tell you what name he sent it to, because it's my fake name that I check into places under so that stalkers can't kill me. Yeah, my real name, um it said. Um oh, that's funny. I love that we're doing this, so excited to be here with the gal respectfully. And then he wrote a person's name that's inside joke between us. That's so nice he has been. He left me a card yesterday when he was going to work that was on my UM suitcase in the morning,

and which he shared feelings. It was so nice. He was like, I just I couldn't share those kinds of feelings with you in the room because it was too embarrassing. And I was like, please do that more, Please say those things to me every single day. He's like, I can't. It just was so it's cute when boys get vulnerable and like start stretching their wings in this way. It's very nice that this flower arrangement costs so much freaking money.

What a nice guy. Um that was. So that's it's so nice to get flowers, especially when you see a flower man coming and you go, I hope those are from me, but you can't say it out loud, and then they are for you. It feels great. It's better than when you just get there and there's flowers waiting. It's better when you see the guy and you go,

no way are they from me? There never from me, and you feel like a girl in an office who never gets flowers, like a Drew Barrymore in a in a movie that I don't know the example a beauty pageant. They're so pretty. Oh my god, I love them. Um yeah, so I feel special today, do you know, Jessica, Oh yeah, I'm looking for he say, oh, I recognized you from the road, but I'm looking for a different Girlie did get recognized last night? I was like we were walking

down people seem to know who I was. When they sent my name and all of my credits and I walked on stage, people were like, oh my god, that's Nicky Glazier. It was crazy. Um, even at the ending. Chris and I went for a walk after dinner and I was crying because my jeans were so tight that it was so uncomfortable. And they are my biggest they are just the jeans that I've had. When I talked about this the other day, they're my like I want

to wear something comfy, almost like pajama pants jeans. That's how big these jeans used to be. And they are so tight that I was it was hurting to wear them. And I was crying as we walked down the street. And then all of a sudden, this girl, I was like, oh my god, and like she was just by herself and she was so sweet, and UM said she's a big fan. And then we took a picture and UM and then we were walking further and he was like, are you happy being here? Because I feel like he

feels responsible for me coming. I mean, he is like the reason I'm here. I wouldn't be here if he didn't get a job out of here. So I was so he was like he just was trying to make sure I'm happy, and I was like, I mean, I I just got recognized. I'm good in this neighborhood. Until now I was thinking it was a little lacking. Now I'm a okay, No, it was very nice, and we went out to dinner, and then I went and did some sets. I like live in that l a life again.

Took an uber to the sets. You know, when you take an uber to a comedy club, they always go, oh, you in the mood to laugh tonight, Huh, who are you going to see? And then I have to go I'm actually performing and they go, oh my god, is it your first time? Have you done this before? Just like yeah, I mean And then but the girl, I think she caught my tone of like, I don't really feel like talking because I had to go over my set and like work on things. I wasn't trying to be.

But at the same time, I don't owe anyone a conversation, right, even if it's uber. Black people are you an actress? Are you a TikToker? Oh? You actually just do this for how long? Twenty years? It has been twenty years. I just want to say someone found the Chapelle show ticket, like someone found I guess on Pinterest or something. Someone had posted the ticket that they went to go see Chapelle. And one of our best he's found the actual ticket

from March five. I believe it was two thousand three. Yeah, two thousand three, two three, and um, that makes total sense because I went to go see his show because oh here it is March second, Sunday, March second, two thousand three, Film Are Auditorium, Dave Chappelle. That was the one I went to. And it makes sense because I think the first time I ever went on stage was Marched like twelve. It was like a week and a

half later. And this was during the time when I bought this ticket where I was like, I gotta figure out what stand up comedy is. So I was like, I gotta go to my first show, and that was so it all times. Thankfully, you know, the way I remembered it is the way it happened. But I'm glad there's some evidence of this. Otherwise nothing. It's so crazy that something could happen in the early two thousand's app post nine eleven and yet there's no record of it.

UM Mysterious Man Walking Aslando is the moment they started keeping records. Just well, I feel like a documented day. And then you you have you have a huge venue with four thousand people that they all come, they all buy a ticket to go see a guy, and then there's no record of it online. That's one of the most obnoxious things about UM. Like searching there's a couple of things on the Internet where I go, how have we not remedied? This one is searching lyrics. It's still

like you're searching porn, like pop ups come up. There's miss lyrics, Like there's no like one IMDb for lyrics that is like fact checked. And then there's also UM concerts from the past. There's there should be records archives of every big major venue and every artist that was there. Like I keep trying to look for John Mayer when he was at the at some when I saw him in two thousand, Open for Guster. There's no evidence, there's

no record of it. I can't find it anywhere. How is no one writing about that, or how did no one? How is this not like the data collect there's like, you know, we know, like the pioneers, how many people like went to you know, town hall meetings back then. But this was a thing where thousands of people collected together and there's no record of it in the two thousands. That seems weird to me. No, okay, let's put it out there. Let's put it out Where was the concert? Okay?

I really like this. The pageant and it was John Mayor. And I know you'll find a lot of Guster opening for John Mayer, but no, this is John Mayer opening for Guster either your Fall Spring of two thousand, Fall of two thousand or Spring of two thousand one the Pageant Theater in St. Louis Macary. And if you can find that, thank you very much. Yeah. I mean, like, I love our little internet sluice. It's been it's been

very helpful. But I just well, it's like you know, grateful Dead back in the day, or like this tape was eighty four or nineteen seventy three live from you know, freaking uh someplace in Pennsylvania. You know, that's how people found ship. It was just people would tape it and then eventually I guess they would record the tapes. But John Mayer and Guster, I don't think anyone like that show. I don't think anyone like was like, I gotta remember that,

I gotta record this. I gotta keep like thousands of people were there. That's the thing, Like, how can thousands of Americans come together in one place and then it disappears from the record. That's the thing that I'm just like, my theory she feels so old and crazy. It doesn't it's not that it has disappeared from the record. But um, I was talking to someone who works in like data security or whatever, so he's like really good with like

hacking and understanding the Internet. He told me that when you're doing a Google search, you're only seeing like one percent of websites. We like don't see everything that's on the internet really, I mean, I know the dark Web is something, but like, you'm kind of disappointed in Google for to be honest, and and I did read something about this that Google doesn't really do a good job anymore. Someone had written an article about like why is googling

things like not fun anymore? There's always ads, You're always getting ads that look like real websites. They found a way to trick you now where you will click on ads thinking it's like not an ad because they look like it. Also, YouTube, their search is garbage. Like you search something, it will give you three videos of what read to like six six videos of what you actually searched for, and then it just shows searched showing things that you might be interested in that have nothing to

do with the video you searched. It's insane to me. I don't even I don't get it. They're like a bullied I want to They're like, no, you don't want that is I want massage videos. I don't want to see, you know, a video about Hitler talking to Andrew Schultz. Although yes, I would have watched that video a few nights ago, I don't want it now. I want warts being cut out of people's feet. I don't want a Taylor Swift cover of the song clean. I would I

will want that in three days. I feel like they like you and you searching warts being cut out is like Noah's searching a rock band at like you know themselves on stage or something like. It's a similar brain His favorite band is when I put up work cut um. I will say that I've been searching wards being dissected from fete for years and years and years on YouTube. Okay, like I've seen every single video there is, and there

has been. Something has happened in the past few months, and it is bananas every There are thousands of videos, hundreds every day of new words and they're all shot in China or India or places where you know they're not speaking English, definitely in the in the East, the Far East, and they all are shot on like really like crappy potato cameras where it's like hazy and it's like being held by like a and they're not in like an they don't even look like they're actually medical procedures.

And I don't like because they always used a scoop and I want something to be like cut out. I wanted to be scraped. I don't want it to be like scooped out. So they're using these really dull instruments and they have littered the search, like you can't find a work cutting video that is like pure any more. They are all these ones that like they soak caffite so they're wet and they scrape up these wet it's disgusting and I want my old fashioned dry wart cut videos.

But it's weird. It's like I was into some not wrong. This is something that people are into watching. And then there's cartoons that bessies have sent me that are going all over YouTube and TikTok of people make cartoons of warts being cut off of feet and callus is being shaved. It's like a cartoon foot and it just and it makes it sound like and it's like that's a whole

new trend. And then another thing that a ton of bessies have sent me is the bunyan corrector that was another thing that is flooded TikTok is this person with a bent bunyan and then they put on this little thing and they go they crank it on the side. It straightens the foot and it makes like a bone sound, like a popping bone sound. It's a it's not a real effect. That thing actually doesn't work. It doesn't correct bunyans, but it is satisfying to watch. I'll give you that.

I love picturing you like just only like years ago in a library with one of those newspaper Remember you would look microphone slips like micro feats of looking for a wart, like like I'm trying to solve a crime. Is this so funny to think? Like you can anything you think of in your brain. The weirdest thing on earth is one click away and you can see it

in seconds. It's well. I used to look at my My mom had this medical journal and there were there there was a dermatology section that how all these skin things? And that's where I first saw pictures of warts and I was just like, and there's a little seats. They looked like seats, but their blood vessels. Oh it was. I used to sneak it. I was obsessed. I would go to Barnes and Noble and look at pictures like I just loved it. It's so weird. I don't know

what's wrong with me. I truly don't. Oh your mom, your dad comes in and you're like underneath the blanket, like like, oh my god, it's worse. We gotta go to break. We'll be right back after this. Alright, we're back, yeah, I uh. I went and did two sets last night, one at the Comedy Store, when at laugh Factory, and it was so fun. I haven't been on stage since the Tom Sigura show and then before that, I hadn't been on stage since September four September, yeah, since two

thousand one. Um, so it was it's just wild to be back at it. But it just like comes back to you right away, and it is. The weird thing is like my I haven't performed except at the Fox Theater with Tom Sigrette and I wasn't really paying attention to the sound just sounded so different than most of the stage I perform on. But it was weird. My

voice was definitely different. I could I could say like all the bits that I had been used to doing, like they're just like more up here, and there's like, um like I just don't have to try as hard. It felt so good. And I was at the store and I was bringing up so you know, you there's no host. Each comedian just brings up the next comedian. So you end your set and you're like, thank you guys, and then you have to go your next comedian. It's the worst part of my life is doing that part.

I hate it because I don't know what to say. Sometimes like it's just random who who is going to be after you? And sometimes I don't know their credits, so I have to look them up beforehand, like as they're in the room with me, like backstage, I'm just like, oh, how are you? And I'm like googling their name to be like what have they done? And um galla yeah, So I like, yeah, I'm just like he smashes you

don't bring your water all around him. Um, He's like, I change, I change, I change, I do cantle lofe. Now come on, Gallagher. You know reference to Mark Myrin's podcast with Gallagher. Come on, Gallagher, isn't that what happened? Gallagher like left the room. Yeah, you walked out of the interview, and he goes, come on, Gallagher, come on. So I was there last night. It was me, Jeremiah Watkins, Annie Letterman, and Owen Smith backstage and I was bringing up Owen Smith. So I did my set. And I

really hate hosting. I've never been good at it from the first time I ever hosted. It's just so unnatural to me to go like, how you guys feeling tonight cool? And then you have to go like so I was shaving my pussy like it just is such a weird, Like you know, an EMC is. Do you know what an m C stands for? Andrew, Yeah, micro cop well

in your case, but in other people's something else. Seriously, yes, So yeah, you're you're supposed to be like welcome to the show and just like very and it just doesn't. It's some people are great at it, others aren't. I've never been good at it. I nervous and it's just such such a bummer. At the end of a good set, you have to kind of like turn into this other person. And um, last night, I I had the guy's intro I knew and I actually like Owen Smith and I

think he's really funny. So it's like easy for me to like, you know, hype this guy up and I'm like, you know you he is hilarious. I've known forever. He Uh. The show is continuing to be great. You have so many great comics to night. The next guy is no different. He is a writer for black Is. You've seen him all over your TV and in movies. Please welcome to stage, Owen Wilson. I said Owen Wilson instead of Smith, And as Owen was coming out of my mouth, three names

came to mind. It was either Benjamin Smith, or Wilson, and I picked one because there's an Owen Benjamin who no longer does comedy, I don't think, or at least he doesn't like all right circles. Then there's Owen Wilson, who I didn't even realize. When I said Owen Wilson, I knew it was wrong, and instantly I was like, I mean Smith, I mean Smith, and I was like, God, damn it, and Owen comes out from behind the curtain behind me, and I go, I'm sorry, And then I

thought I had said Owen Benjamin. So when I said Owen Wilson, I thought I was saying Owen Benjamin and I go, oh my God, not Owen Wilson. He's canceled, So that doesn't even make sense to anyone. So it was so confusing. I felt so bad, and I had so much anxiety when I came up stage because then Owen has to just go deal with that, which is fine. I mean, it gave him something to joke about, and he is a nice person and has no ego about

that kind of stuff at all. But I'm backstage like I just had an amazing set, and then I'm like I ruined it with that I was like so scared that he was that, Like, I just sometimes my brain just doesn't work and I feel so stupid. I feel like I feel like the same way I feel when I used to be in like gym class and not be able to catch a ball, just like why can't you do this thing that's normal? Like what did you do?

Why did your brain do that? Like I was so mad at myself and I just couldn't let it go. It was until Owen came off stage and was saying goodbye, and I was like, I'm so sorry, and everyone backstage, Annie and Jeremiah and uh Jessica, this other comedian where we were all they were like, who cares, it's not a big deal, and I'm like, I just totally fucked it up. Everyone's gonna know him, such like why am

I such? I was just revealed as someone who was so competent, so good, so like and then a total mess because after I sucked it up, I was like, I mean, seth, I mean And then all of a sudden, I get back to Nikki in fourth grade, just being so insecure, not knowing what she's saying, nervous, like I'm just like, why do I why can't there just be a fucking host. I guess it's easier this way, but yeah, there's it's a different brain. You know a lot of people they always go, how do you do? Stand up?

And it's like, I couldn't do a Microsoft Excel presentation. And I think that's where when you're an m C and you're talking like this, you have to turn on that I'm addressing a crowd voice, and it's like it's not natural. It's just like a different part of your brain. It's a different kind of presentation voice, especially at the end of a set where you're completely in the moment, you're flowing, you're thinking of funny to go from that too? Okay, are you guys read it's it's it's I remember the

first time I introduced you. Do you remember what I said? Yeah? It was really bad, freak. It was like my big, my big moment. Nikki gave me the opportunity to host the first time. Yeah, I had a great set, did very well. You didn't really hear it because you're in the back. Uh you know, Yeah, I don't. I don't. But it's not because of you. No, no, no, no, I know. I'm just waking aout. So then when you came up, I go, I was so nervous and it was and I should have worked on this. I should

at least wrote it down. And then I go, you you saw her on Howard Stern, you heard her on Conan, and now she's here tonight, something like that, something like you see her on you up the Serious x M, and you on Howard's Stern, you smelled her on con You're like going through the five sets is like you got them all wrong and so funny. Yeah. And so then I get off and I'm I feel exactly how you're feeling now. And I was like really funked up

over it. And then I go, all right, next show, I do the yeah, and you look at me, you go, I know it's funny, but like work on it. That is annoying. And like you say, so like when Benedict Polizi opened for me. He was from f Boy Island.

When he opened for me in Vegas, he had like his manager with him and he Benedict is on stage and I'm about to go, you know, on to stage, and I just want to give everyone who has performed a shout out him, like give it up for Anya and Benedict, but I want to say his name again, so people follow him and everything, and I go to his manager real quick. I was like, it's Polize, right, and he goes, yes, Polizy, it's not POLITZI, it's Polize

And I go, why would you give me that? So of course I go out and I go, did it's Lizzy? And I say the completely wrong thing, and I go, I would have never done that had his manager not gotten in my ear. But yeah, you just feel like it's like, yes, it's it was, so it's it is that.

But that's what I get really nervous, is like I feel like, you know, it's it's almost like you're a race car driver and you're so good at what you do and every turn is so precise, and every little decision you make and then a bee flies in your car and then you look unhinged and crazy like you start going and everyone like knows you're a fool, you know how like sometimes you know, um, when people fall, you're just like, oh no, you're not like an Oscar

winning actor. You just felt like you just look that's how it looks. You're human. But it almost makes you go like, oh, no, like it takes away from the whole thing. People don't realize like, oh, Nicky, no one cares is it wasn't a big deal, And it was, and it truly wasn't a big deal. It's just a set.

But like people, I bet you anything, if I hadn't have done that, they would have had a better review of my performance had that thing not happened at the end, because it took something like subconsciously, it took something from people's brains and we're like, she's kind of a dork

that doesn't know what's going on. There's something. Whether or not they would ever admit it to themselves, I bet science would show that they subconsciously rated me a little bit less um professional because of it, because it was unprofessional. I didn't know what I was saying. Um. But Owen was so nice about He was like, I don't care. He was like, I have the worst name for entertainment. It is so boring. It is just there's nothing to remember about it. It is just Owen Smith. He was like,

it happens all the time. He's like, I don't care. So he was very nice about it. But um, And then I went over to the laugh factory and that was, Um, that was fun too. That was a really good time. Yeah, it's it's nice to be working on new stuff and getting up again and um yeah, and usually I like walk across that. Usually I'm like staying across the street from these places when I come to l a and

do sets. So it was it was nice to take a drive in and kind of like think about what I was gonna do and give it some thought because that's pretty much the only thought that goes into it these days. And uh, it was fun. And then you know, I went back home and Chris obviously two minutes, but it's you know, I'm going at nine o'clock at night. So yeah, it wasn't bad. But I got some cars.

They're just shaky. There is a real difference between an Uber Black and an Uber X. There are some cars that are just like they're like the whole time, the axles loose or something. I don't like it. Um, but it's Uber's expensive. But I also talked to an Uber driver the other night from l A X to our place, and poor Uber drivers, if you take ubers, please tip them well. Uber is fleecing these guys. They are not making any money. It's and they can't like strike and

come together because they all work. There's no like hub where they all go hang out and sit around the water cooler and like talk. So there it's it's hard for them to like get together and go like this is not good. But they're just all barely getting by. It's really sad, and Lifted apparently is worse. So that's I just want to put that out there. Please tip your Uber drivers very generously if you can afford to,

because there no because parking is such a bit. I mean, I I do think because I was talking to Christmas and I was like, it'd be ideal to have like a personal dress chauffeur because Amy had that for a while. She would just like there was always a guy that

was just waiting for her. And I go, that's what Uber is, though, Like I'll just get that and um, and it is nice to not have to find parking and deal with street parking and the and and like paying insurance and worrying about like hitting someone, and you know, I think it's just worth it to just do just do Uber everywhere I can. I like the idea, but I don't like the idea that I'm supporting an industry that sucks over their workers, though, But I don't know

what to do. What do you do? I don't know. I mean, maybe just you find a guy. That's why I guess the personal chauffeur is better if it's his own company and it all goes to him. Guess that's why that could be better. But I'll be so much more expensive it's already, I mean, unless you get a guy with a get a helicopter. I do. I do worry.

It's so peaceful out in Santa Monica. I thought I'd get out here and be like worried about I'm worried about tsunami, honestly, Like I just don't want to have to die drowning or getting hit by garbage in water. I'm so scared of natural weather events, and it feels like the Midwest is the safest place to not be around those. Also, the air out here, it feels good out by the ocean, but it's dry. I don't know. Um, I'm everyone. It was fun last night. I ran into

Annie Letterman and Jeremiah Watkins backstage. We took um. There was a photographer there, and we all decided to do to pretend we're handsome and take a photo shoot. So that was really fun. So I look forward to that picture coming up. I was like, can I be Taylor? And I was like, I don't even know what that means.

I just wanted and so we uh. But it was good because Annie was talking to me about going to a hypnotist and she's just like so positive lately and like, I don't know, there was just like a different vibe

about her. Annie Letterman is hilarious and very like. She made I told her she made me laugh the other day because I watched a clip and she was talking about how she had a dream where she was someone in a coffee shop witnessing her come like storming in and being like just like being loud Annie Letterman, and she like saw herself from a different perspective and was like, wow, I'm a lot. And I just related to that because I would never think about how much how loud and

you know, um like just demanding attention you are. I mean, I she's a little bit more so than me. She like she really is just has so much confidence, is so like I don't know, I wish I had more of that. And she even said it she was like, you're richer than me. Why aren't you happier to me? She was like, you have you should be less insecure than I am. And I was like, I guess, but I'm just like not. And then we're talking about UM. She's talking about all like the um you know, psychedelic

she's done that have made her like. She was like, I'm coming off a skank Fest weekend, which is this big comedy festival that they did in um Las Vegas with like tons like you know, so many of our comedian friends, Andrew and I his friends UM were there and she was like I said something like negative and she was like, oh, I said, I was talking about, you know, bringing people up on stage or and I was like, I hate it because either the persons had just to bring me up and I know they don't

even like me and they have to be like this next comedian she's so funny, and I'm like, oh my god, it's not like Bill Bird doesn't know who I am. I don't want to him to waste his breath on like coming up with my credits that he doesn't even know. Like I just get embarrassed by it. And she was like, we have to get every comedian loves each other now, like, what do you even She was like, Oh, I forgot, I'm coming off of a lot of psychedelics off this weekend.

You're right, we probably don't like each other. But she was like don't. She goes, that's not a thing. Everyone likes each other, and she goes, oh wait, I'm just on. I'm still like tripping um. But she was super positive that I liked her vibe. I was. She was like, let it go because I was talking about how nervous I am to promote shows and make videos of like Hey Memphis, I'm coming to town. Hey Thousand Oaks, California, catch me this November. Like I'm just so humiliated by

it and I can't do it. And Jeremiah and her really talk to me about how I need to remember that people actually want content from me, Like when they see a video come up there, like they want to watch it. Whereas I just have one female comic who is kind of a bully from two thousand thirteen in my head. She is always the person that stopps me

from posting everything. She doesn't even exist anymore. She's older now and doesn't do that like I don't even think about the versions of her now, but the version she was in I think about that girl seeing me and going like you and I just can't get it out of my head. And they were like, you need to remember your fans actually want things from you, and that if you don't tell them where you're gonna be, they

don't have a chance to see you. And really, what we do is like bring joy to people's lives and we get them out of their heads for a hour of their day. We give them relief in the form of, you know, laughing, and we also let them see the world differently. We make them feel less alone, like they were doing a service. So if you think about like you're denying someone the chance to see you by not promoting it, then you can maybe get yourself to promote

more things. Because I think I just forget sometimes that anyone would want want anything from me because I have low self esteem. And I know I probably shouldn't say that on this podcast where people listen to me every day, but I just I forget that. It's so weird to forget that I have a product, even though that's my

entire life. Is like the thing that I have made my career off of I forget people even want it, and I think that people actually don't want it and they're gonna make fun of it, and that they're gonna go They're gonna stop following me if I post too much like I'm gonna they're just gonna go, oh god and mute me. Like But the thing is, I never ever see someone promote their shows and go ever. I mean today I did because I go so much production

value went into this. It's not even funny. Just make a video in your apartment talking selfie style, like why did you spend all this money on this video that literally lead to nothing? That's where I judge people. But I don't think me making a video like come see me in Davenport, Iowa gonna make people mad at me. Why do I have that in my head? I have the exact saying. I literally right before this podcast started, twenty minutes before, I made a selfie saying come see

me in Austin, Texas. I'll be a cap city. And then I couldn't just say it sincerely, so I added like a little like stupid little joke like I'll be going down the Lazy River on the rope swing and get a cool taco with an authentic beer. Thanks, And that's a joke. That actually is a joke, Like that's I want it? Okay? Well, all I know is like it wasn't being viewed that much and not being liked, and I just took it down. I was like, I'll just put in my story. Did you wait for it?

Did you? Did you monitor it for like minutes? I gave it minutes. We also know I'm crazy. I will if I post something. That's the thing. I don't care about the likes. Once I posted, it doesn't matter to me, and I won't check it. So I don't know why I even care. I've never once gone back on something and looked at the likes or the views. I've never done that, So why am I? Even if it did well, I wouldn't know if it did poorly didn't, I wouldn't

know what am I worried about. I'm worried that I'm worried about that one girl making fun of me and thinking that I'm a loser, or someone being like, oh, her face is kind of getting old. Oh she just did her lips. She shouldn't have done that. Sending it to people and the truth is I think that way because that's what I do I and I won't stop and and even said last night she was like, you're not going to stop being that awful about other people and judging them until you stop doing it to yourself.

So it was kind of an epiphany that and crying as I walked down the street because my jeans didn't fit, and having my boyfriend be like, I've never think You've never looked better to me, and I'm like, I can't like breathe, Like I think I look good too, but I can't breathe, and I need to get new pants. And I was just like, I think where my brain goes as I go, it only got this amount of likes,

which I don't really. It just makes me think, if it's this an amount of likes, then no one's going to come to this show, and no one likes me, no one think some funny Do you think that people will go to the show less if they see they'll actively not go to the show, whereas if they never saw that, they might go to the show, which doesn't make any sense because if they don't see that, they don't know about the show. Yeah, last night I made a poster. I can put pictures up all day long.

Pictures posters, no problem. Video for me is excruciating. Yet I watch people all the time post stuff that is so and it wastes my time. I watch these people posting things, and I'm like, I watched this, I don't. It's not always that I scrutinize and judge. It's it's quite often that I go, man, I wish I could do that, and I just don't know what they'll hold

up is. And so many besties have written me and said really nice things about when I kind of talk about these fears I have and and put my minded ease. But I think we just need to remember, like our job is to put out stuff, and if you know, if we don't do it, it's as if we're showing up to work and not doing data entry. We're just sitting there and staring at a blank screen, like we work in North Korea on a computer or whatever they do.

If you've ever seen those videos where people are like, here's here's an active bunch of young North Koreans working on computers, and they're all just like they don't even know how to work a mouse, and it's just that that's that's what it would be like we we have to The work we we have to put in is putting out content and it's um like Jeremiah was saying, Jeremiah Watchings who does hilarious stuff, was like, sometimes I put out a video and I'm just like, no one

wants this. I put out too much stuff, But like I have to remember this is my job and I have to. This is what people want. People do want this, People want to see your face people I don't. I don't know why it's so hard, And I guess it's not so hard for me to perform live because it's like once one thing and people can't go back and send it to their friends and make fun of it.

It's that like lasting nature of a post that really gets me more so than video feels personal, Like even if it's a video, it feels more personal than like a poster. Like I don't know, I get hurt more, I get more emotional about it, and it's like I probably should talk to a shrink about it, to be honest, because I don't know why I value it so or like why it makes me think of my value more or less, Because I would say stop looking at the likes, like if you took that out of it, it might help,

like because which I do. I just like, because you are putting a value, well, you're putting a value on it. If you look at the like you you are putting a value on it, like this is very successful or it's not, And then what does that mean? But if you just put it out there and because your fear is that someone's going to see it and say that's and make fun of it? Are that you are? You scare people make fun of you? I just think it's more. Yeah,

I think people will. First of all, I know promotional things get less likes, just like across the board, So I I understand why it doesn't do as well. And I think what it is is I get, uh, someone another comedian will come across and be like, forty eight likes on a show promoting this show. Other comedians like, so exactly what I said. So it's about other comedians judging you, not really like actual audience members, no actual people too, but yeah, there's no one really in particular.

Can you hide the likes? I think there's a way to hide the likes you can, So let's just do that, which I do Okay, why didn't you do it on this last one? I don't know. I was just like, the other thing is the views. It was only two views in like twenty minutes, where usually I get like hundred. So I'm like, okay that quickly. So I was just like, alright, no one's seen as anyone going to see my stories anyway. If you're looking down so sad, sorry in the top

of your keep that chin up. Andrew, I was counting each person I like. Anyways, go to Andrew Colin Comedy dot com and get tickets too much. Yeah, go to our shows. Um, I have a tour that is going so many places. I am all over the place Vermont, California, Iowa, Reno, Memphis, um, on and on and on and then New Year's even in St. Louis. Please come out to that show. It's going to be spectacular and so so special to ring

in the New year together. Um. And we will be back with Let's do a little bit news when we get back from this. Can we go to break No? Yeah, alright, let's do it. All right, we're back. Let's get to the news. Oh it's Wednesday, folks, you know what that means. It is Wednesday. Apparently we're having all the swells. Uh back to you in the booth there no okay? Well um. In sad news, Georgia college student died in only when he walked into the still spinning propeller of an airplane

he had rented for a dinner date. This is awful. This kid wanted to be like he was on The Bachelor. He probably saved up his money to give this girl of his, of her of his dreams, like the best date of her life. They flied back after having the dinner date. They're getting out of the plane when he is just feeling confident about to get his maybe first kiss with her and walks right into the propeller and she and you know that everyone else yea, and use his The man's blood is lube. Yeah. I mean this

is I regret saying that Andrew brought me there. I had to finish it. I am so disturbed by this story and I'm so so sad about it. Like I there was a girl. There was a woman. I think she survived. She walked into a propeller. These stories always I go deep. I go deep diving on these stories and trying to figure out every because it's just so disturbing to me. I am always so scared whatever I go on a tarmac to board a little plane or a helicopter or an I feel like I sound like

I'm living quite a jet setting life. I've been. I've been. I've flown on some pgs before, but I have. I mean, this is something that commonly happens. People need to be very careful out there. If you ever board a plane, don't think that you're smarter than this guy. Like this could happen to anyone. It's like a low propeller and the propeller is going so fast you don't see it. Well, the opinion, it's so so sad. The date got out of the plane and then he comes out and walks

towards the front of the plane. So he had walked into it. Yes, that's what happens. They walk into they don't see it because it's worrying so fast. You know, it's you don't see it. It looks like nothing. Or he could have been like talking to her and a little distracted and it was in his peripheral vision and so it wasn't I mean, but what those people propellers on the wings you know, like I always I don't think of it on the center most planes. Yeah, you know what I mean, I just want to think of

it being there. I think it was two of his friends were flying, two of his friends were to pilots. Maybe he went to go say so something. I mean, yeah, imagine seeing that. I mean, that's the problem. Like first of all, having I don't even want to think about the injuries he sustained to kill him, like it must have been so awful. But witnessing that those people are going to have so much trauma, it's so awful. Please

be careful out there. I have another called kind of thing, like, first of all, you know, I did the seatbelt ran yesterday. I did a seatbelt right yesterday. And um, the other night, I woke up Chris in the middle of the night. Did I tell this one about drowning? Don't ever try to save a drowning person jumping in Yes, what do you mean? I think this weekend? But I woke up Chris in the middle of the night, like well, I thought he was still awake, but we were like kind

of drifting off to sleep. Both on Reddit that's what we do, and then we share each other like share. Well, sometimes we'll share the same thing at the same time with each other because we're like we're both on Reddit. But um, I saw this thing that was like, you know, a life pro tip, and it was like, don't ever try to save a drowning person by jumping into the water, because no matter how good of a swimmer you are, a drowning person is frantic, is flopping around, doesn't know

what they're doing, and they you will drown too. They'll they'll drown you and so and even me, I'm like, a really pretty I think that's one of the things I'm best at in the world, is swimming and staying afloat. And even I was like, oh, I think I'd be okay. And I read further and it was like, you know, my friend, this happened to my friend. He was an accomplished swimming swimmer. He died from someone pulling them under. So what you do is you, you know, you throw

something out to them. You'll both die. Like if it's let's say you stay on the boat and you're like I'm just gonna watch someone die, well either that or you both die. So you know, hand them a broomstick, throw them a rope do something like that, but just or honestly it said wait till they're unconscious and then go in, wait till they stop flopping around, because they

will pull you down. So that's just a good thing to know if you are ever in that situation, because I think my first reaction would be jump in and save them, and I would have died had I not read that a week ago or whatever it is I think of Phil Phil Collins song was about that, but that was what I think, Like, that's so funny to wait till they drown until you saved. You're just likescious when you when you start to see the light. That's

what I'm going to make the plunge in and go. Yeah, there's like a little why I feel like I've heard. It's the same thing about quick saying remember quick saying I remember someone go don't ever don't fight in to get them. And also rip tides. If you don't know about rip tides always spin parallel because they go perpendicular to the water. And if you don't know what those

words are, go back to school. So a riptide is going to be a thin stretch of water that's being going to pull you out, and if you fight it by trying to swim back to the shore towards the shore, you're going to tire her out because you were just in this flume. It's like a little river that is pulling you out and you're going it's going to tire you out and you'll drown. But if you just swim to the side, you'll get out of it faster. So

these are just little things. If you have any water tips to share with us on the show, just you know, leave us a message. The link is in our bio. Uh noah, what's the next story? Next story is Drew Barrymore has said that she has no interest in altering the aging process with cosmetic surgery and has vowed to live life naturally despite pressures due to working in Hollywood. So she says, now wait till it gets worse. Not that Actually she looks amazing. I'm I'm captivated by Drew Barrymore.

She shows up on my Instagram and I just think she is so beautiful. I love her hair, I love her look, I love who styles whoever styles her and does everything for her show like she is just one of the most watchable faces ever and and it doesn't look like she has had work done, and she looks fucking good. But it's hard to say you won't someday. I know, I don't know. I respect that. Um, that is not who I am. I'm planning a facelift around fit forty forty two. Um, maybe smaller ones before then.

And I know that's like makes people sad, But I feel the same way about Like if you know my knees gave out, I would get like a knee replacement, Like I just two feel good. I need to not and I sleep on my face so hard. It's just like aging sucks. But I do respect that. Andrew, what do you think about it? Well, I feel like I think people get upset if remember when Alicia Keys was like, I don't wear makeup. I'm going to no makeup. But she has a gorgeous face. She doesn't never naturally she

doesn't need makeup. So people are like, well, it's easy for you, because, like Drew Barrymore, I feel like it's almost in the same vein of like you are aging incredibly well, maybe you're lucky enough where you haven't had the she she could get done. I'm not being rude about that. She could get things done very easily, like she she's a woman that most people at her age in Hollywood would do something, would would have already done stuff, and she is proof that, Like you can look fucking

sexy and beautiful without having that stuff done. But you that's the problem is you go, what am I leaving on the table? Hopefully a lot of skin when they remove it? But what am I? What if I don't do something? What what could it be if I actually did something? Like how good could I look? And what would that mean? Like I even last night when I was crying about my jeans, Chris is like, I think you look amazing, and I was like, it is not about how I look. I think I look great too.

It's just I want to not buy I just don't want to buy any I like my clothes and I want to feel like I'm not suffocating in them, and I don't want to take off my pants and have an imprint like my body is made of plato. You know that doesn't go away and hill the next morning from my jeans cutting off my circulation. It's like I just feel deeply uncomfortable in such tight clothes. But it is I feel like you made up a word there, by the way, which is incredible. What did I make up?

I think you said stuff a stuff acating, which is makes it. It's a perfect word for what your legs are doing in the pain. And if I did say that, it didn't mean to, but that does. Yeah, I'm stuffocated. Um go back in the year what I said to um, it's a great word, though it's exactly what that word should be. It's just so uncomfortable and I just and

on my Instagram knows what I'm into. Man. All they show me is liposuction, face lifts, nos jobs before and afters M, sculpting people just like you feel like when you go to when you touch down in l A, you start thinking about these things more because obviously it's more. It's done more there. Even though because the Graham is

l a baby. Like everything I see on Instagram, I don't really leave the house in St. Louis and and people in Sat. Louis are beautiful, Um somewhere I haven't been to that place, but I have a feeling somewhere they're looking good. But no, people say Louis are stunning.

It's everywhere now like everyone can look this good. But it's mainly on Instagram and online where I see the stuff that I you know, l A follows me everywhere on there, and it's hard and body positivity accounts like they're always girls who are crying and being like, yesterday was hard. I cried fourteen hours because I hate my body, But today I realized that God gave me that. I'm like, so yesterday you were sobbing, and today you have it all figured out and everything's fine. Now. I just don't

buy this, like the whole thing about girls. And then there's this other account I follow, and I want to fucking kill this woman. She is sticks in and she always writes, makes these take talks of like you know when they like point at different places and little facts pop up and she's like, remember when we used to starve ourselves, Remember calorie counting no more? And it's like, but you are literally your a little twig. You are this that I don't even understand what you could have

wanted your body to be before. Don't talk to me about body acceptance. You look amazing and like it's not about diet culture. It's just I'm sure she is beyond all that. But I kind of call bullshit, and I call bullshit on it pretty much all of it. I don't I don't know if you could send me anybody, if people out there nobody positive accounts that you actually believe, and don't send me Lizzo because I have a hard time believing that as well. Um, I would love to

see it. But look, I'm sure there's a pair of triple zero pants that she can't fit into right now, and she's freaking out. She's part of these girls making green tea watch of drinks and talking to me about like balance and their body and loving them. Don't they just pop up? It's like I want videos and you're showing me it's it really is, and then then you get sucked into it and then it just feels like cutting because you just want to want more. You want to see more of why this woman's life is so

much better than yours. And even the women who are I mean, I'm not talking about like just glorifying all thin people. There are women that are, like, you know, bigger than me, whose lives like completely I am jealous of because they seem to just be so happy and love themselves and not and look good in their clothes and I'm like, why can't I do that? It's just it's it's frustrating, but I'm gonna work on it. And by working on it, I do not mean I'm going

to diet or exercise. I'm working on It's all about like other stuff. Because even last night, when I was crying to Chris about my tight pants, he was like, so what are you gonna do? Like, what's what's the solution here? Or at least I said something like I just need to work harder, and I could tell he was like, what does that mean? I'm like, and it doesn't mean dieting, it doesn't mean going to a workout class.

It means what is the best thing a guy can say to a woman that's like, I feel fat today, I feel different. I look different today than she did yesterday, which you know is irrational. I wouldn't notice it in a million years. Like I think you've never looked better, and that makes me feel good. And even last night I was like, that matters to me, Like you thinking that I look better at this size than the size I prefer to be. That matters to me, Like I want to look good to you, like I would prefer

to look good to you. That good to me, So just like saying I don't know what you're talking about, Like I don't see it, but I'm sorry you feel that way. But the truth is it's don't and don't ever say anything about like, well we can go to the gym together, maybe we can start eating healthier meals. Don't do that, ship because that is not what a girl wants to here. Noah, do you agree? Yeah? Agree, don't don't say like, hey, well we can start going

to more classes. Why don't we start doing this more? Like girls, just when we're feeling quote unquote fat or disgusting or whatever the thing is, we just want to feel loved. We're feeling completely unloved bole and we just want like to feel loved and like spiritually and that's the work that needs to be done, is like you need to work on your insides. And I it took me fucking twentysomething years to figure that out. That the solution. When I'm feeling this way and I'm allowed to feel

this way. Sometimes people write to me and they're like, you seriously still have body issues. You talk about wanting to be thin all the time. It's like, yeah, no, fucking ship. It's coming at me from all angles. But the thing I don't do any more starve myself. The thing I don't do any more exercise and burn a thousand calories at a time, thinking that's gonna give me anything except ravenous hunger. That's gonna make me eat more than I should. And but I'm allowed to complain. I'm

allowed to feel uneasy in my body. I'm allowed to say that I don't feel I don't feel good. And that doesn't mean that I think that you listener would not like I think some people go, well, if you think you look bad, that you would be disgusted by me, That's not it. My my self esteem comes from inside. I have a spiritual problem of like having feeling like I'm not enough, I'm not good enough. And it's has

nothing to do with my outer appearance. Because I have been the size and my face has looked the way I wanted it to look before, my body has looked exactly the way that I would want my body to look before, and I still wasn't happy. So I I know that for a fact. I go back and look at pictures and I go, God, look at your body. Then it was like you would that was everything like that, that you looked like a supermodel, like you had a supermodel figure, and I wasn't happy. And I remember the

day those pictures were taken. So I just know that's not the solution. But the solution is definitely not for a boyfriend to recommend dieting or exercising with you. Um, let's go to final thought and um have a little bit of Andrew's Short sir Stories Circle segment special Andrew's Short Story Circles Segment. All right, Andrew, what do you

got for us today? Um? I hinted at it a few months or like a month ago, but when I went to so my brother was nice enough to my older brother, who's successful in alpha male kind of alphash, I guess he just gets it done. He always my whole life. He's an Alfalfa Mayle. He was nice enough to offer a trip with me and Brenna to go to Jackson Hole, Wyoming. They sent us a uh itinerary. That's a big thing that they do is like you know, from nine to ten will be you know, looking at

rob very regimented schedule. It's almost as if that makes people successful. It's almost like that's the key to it. But let's make fun of it instead. Yeah yeah, yeah, what losers? What losers? Successful people? Yeah, I mean he's gotten better. And his wife is similar, Like she's very organized. They're both professionals, like professionals, like do very well. She's a doctor, he's a runs a hedge fund. Like everything

is organized and whatever. And then, um, you know, I could have gone to Jackson Hole and stayed in the bed and maybe seeing like one boulder and been like holy shit, you know, like nothing. I never have organized my whole life. So they send us this uh website of an activity we can do, which is essentially hiking. I thought it was hiking. I didn't want to look into it because it looked very scary and it was like jagged rock and it was something I didn't want

to do. I don't like heights, and because of that, I didn't look into it because I was so afraid. And then I get there, We fly in and it's are you one of those guys? It's like I got the itinerary, babe, you just all handle things? Or did you share it with her? I'm not. I'm not that guy at all. But she's a ledge head so she she looked at it and she's like, oh, I hope we did the hardest one. And I was like, I think you might have to. So I'm thinking she might

have to go without me this whole time. I'm just like, you go without me, I'll stay behind. I'll cook for the kids, I'll take care of the or whatever. I can make a scrambled eat. So I can't image making enough food for two people. Okay, go on, Yeah, I would eat it before I'd be like, all right for for me, one for you, said, okay, stop looking at me,

bitch talking to the three year old. Um. So we get there and it's time and we go and we take the gondola up like eight thousand feet, so you're not only climbing from like the bottom, you're climbing you're starting starting at the top. Yeah, I started from the top and we're more top. So I'm I'm losing my mind and like I want to be tough in a way in front of you know, my girlfriend. Everyone else is doing it, and my brother and his wife and

and they're like, you can do it. And I hate when my brother gives me that voice, even though it means well, he's proud of me. He's like, you got this, and I'm like, I know, I got it, motherfucker. I can do this. You're doing it. I could do it. Like I get defensive, you know. And uh So we start climbing, and literally the first thing you climb when you put on like full on gear, like helmet, like like repelling. Take No, I have no idea what this hike. I would need to know how long is this going

to take? Exactly? Tell me exactly, what's gonnappen? When are we gonna eat lunch, winter snacks? When s nap time? What do we do if we see a goat? Like I would want to know everything. So you're not knowing what's gonna happen, all have fear. I just I want to know less and then I just do Um. So we get to the top and like literally the first thing is you climb like and it's vertical. It's just vertical, and there's like bars, there's metal bars into the rock.

But you're climbing a mountain like you're starting and you're starting from eight thousand feet So I'm eight thousand ft up so I'm already looking down and I'm like, what the funk am I getting myself into But I gotta be tough, I gotta be strong. I gotta do this for some reason. And we get to this point where you have to then just hike a little bit up like the smallest little walkway, and you just fall down

the jagged rock like thousands of feet into anything. At this point, you're not strapped in because we're walking into place where you have to strap into it. And I'm I'm frozen. I freeze, I literally freeze, and I have Brenna going just holding my hand, just hold, and I'm like, I don't like part of me is like wanting to be if I've slipped, you're going down with me? Then wait till I fall, Wait till then. So she's like, you got it. And the more I hear that voice,

I don't know what it is. That's being pitied, it's being babied. You you are want to be a strong man, and you have your girlfriend talking to you like you're a baby. So yeah, men are not gonna respond to that voice well, and the instructors going, you got it, And then I hate that boy so much too. I hate it when people are just like everyone has to

like lower they're like they have to. And then and then when you finally do it, they're like yay, and you're like shut so easily and you didn't congratulate yourselves. And now I'm like this, like like I just climbed Everest because I crossed a little bridge. It's so embarrassing. It's so patronizing. I hate it. My brother would do it when we visit off with you, because if I do something a little bit good, it's like, wow, Nikki, I'm just like, you wouldn't give a funk about this

if you did it. Don't act like this is impressive. But people are just trying to be nice. I mean, Brenna was doing exactly what she should have done, which is ever. Yeah, but you know, it goes back to we visit my grandma, and my brother would be like, you did such a you know, I'm so proud of you boys for visiting. I'm like, you're two years older than me. I was going to visit grandma anyways. Okay,

so anyway, so no, of course not. He drove and paid for to you over black and so then we start climbing the mountain again and I'm going last I thought maybe that'd be good but then my brother and Brenna decided to climb it without using the ladder the metal, So I'm in the back, so no one's pushing me to go forward, and I have to wait for them to go slow. So I'm having a full on panic attack on the mountain and I can't climb back down because climbing back down then I get start. It's like

the way I feel a gonna get a helicopter. So we're climbing and finally I get in front and I realized, like, okay, I'm going on my own pace, and but I'm having a full on panic attack. Wow, having to do like usually you have a panic attack, you could lay down, you could stop. And then I don't know, like ten minutes and I started to get really present. I didn't focus on being nine thousand feet in the air. I just literally looked at the rock in front of me.

And it sounds cheesy, but it's like it made me so fucking present and so like in the moment where nothing else mattered, ALIS on my phone like that ship, like you don't you All you can think about is the foot, you know, what's the next step and surviving? And I get to a point where I go, Okay, are we almost there? He's like, actually, we're only halfway.

So I was still like kind of freaking out. But then I got to a point where I just started sucking climbing and I all my fears went away and all the focus I mean, and then that made me realize, oh, this is why these fucking people do this is because of how president it can make you. And then you go through that whatever. I got to the top and

just fast forward. I I do bring that day to me in other things where when I can be present and lock in and be like, Okay, I made it through this, and it made I don't know, it made all the sense in the world why people do ship like that and why we always asked why are you climbing mountain? Why then do you I've never been more president in my life, other than maybe stand up at times.

You have to be that locked in well. But but like I was able to bring that moment because you didn't have a choice, you would know there's no fleeing that moment, there was no fight or flight. You had to just fight. I feel that way. I feel that kind of presence when I have pain, when I have a migraine or cramps. You can't be distracted by anything, like you can't watch a TV show, you can't read like there, or or mental anguish if you're going through

a break up. Like those moments I feel are also like extremely meditative in the sense that you can only focus on one thing, like you know, in meditation, you supposed to just focus on your breath, and you constantly wander away because your breath isn't that interesting and isn't that like demanding of your attention. But I think pain and also yeah, that fear of like I just gotta do this. I think that, um, yeah, that's actually that's cool that you've been able to like pull from it

again and like remember that. But I also think that people who are ledgeheads and like constantly go out and do climbing stuff. Like I read this thing on Reddit where was like there was a woman climber who was like never data climber, never dat a guy who's into climbing.

These people who are constantly seeking out these like death defying uh stunts, are these like you know, high adrenaline situations because they can't ever love you because they're running from pain in their life that they never emotional pain that they don't want to address, and that what better way to not think about anything else in your life,

your fear of commitment, your fear of abandonment. If you're constantly climbing a wall where if you make one mistake you fall to your death, you don't have time to worry about anything emotional. And so it makes sense that people choose extreme sports to like hide from things, and that they really don't make the best partners. And this woman had this great thing about it, and I thought everyone was going to trash her because she was kind of annoying about it. She was like, don't date climbers,

they're all the same. But everyone underneath was like, this checks out. My boyfriend was a climber. This checks that, Like they're they just aren't. They're never gonna be there emotionally because they're they're climbing away from their issues. So it is interesting. It is a definitely a um meditative steak.

The guy that the instructor said that the people that die, obviously they're doing harder things, but it's the people that forget how dangerous it is, and those are the people walk into the propeller who aren't on alert, like thankfully, I'm an extremely anxious, totally paranoid person. But the second that I get a little bit too like everything's fine, that's when I the car kind of goes off the road. That's when you know I fall or something like when

I start to get cocky about stuff. My dad always says that the one time this guy that was like um, part of the traveling will lend does. He was a tight rope walker. There's a story of he was like the father of I probably told this before because my dad tells it a billion It's probably has something to do with Cincinnati. But they were walkers and he was

like the patriarch of the family and Um. His wife said that the only time she ever heard him doubt himself about a walk was the morning of the walk he died on. So it proves it like when you start to let that kind of doubt in of like what could go wrong and you aren't like focused. I mean, I don't know if it really pertains to this, but I always think about that, Like when you consider what can go wrong, it almost kind of manifests that and puts that out into the world. But I think about

what could go wrong all the time. It's just it's hard not to. I feel like sometimes when I think about what will go wrong, it pushes me to make it right, so it actually makes me work harder, and I could use that energy for a positive But I also think about there's like the secret of manifestation. So what's the difference between worrying about something that might happen in the future that you don't want to happen. How is that different than when you try to visualize something

you do want to happen. And people always say, I visualize making a million dollars. I visualize having a family I wanted. I visualized the job that I wanted and I got it. So what sometimes when I'm visualizing the worst case scenariom, like, am I going to confuse the universe and make them think that I'm manifesting this because I'm imagining it so much and that it might happen?

So I don't know. I guess we need to uh ask our listeners how many of you have visualized being a millionaire and how many you have a million dollars? I mean, I think that's like I think sometimes we hear I know, I know, I do too. I really do too, But I just think, like you hear from that, An was just saying she watched The Kardashian Show on Hulu and that Kim Kardashian was like, I knew I was going to be famous. I was like, I wanted

it so badly. I mean, granted, her dad was OJ's attorney and her family was already and you know, her mom was married to Bruce Jenner, so I was like, okay, um, But I do think that there is something to that. Like I I think that some of my success was because I was so I just knew that it was going to work out. I just knew it. There was no doubt in my mind. I have so many doubts about other things, but like comedy, working out was there was never even the slightest that there was one time

where I go, what if it doesn't work out? And I remember it was one day in a thought, and it just it was almost like you on that mountain. I can't turn back now, there's no there's no doing anything else. I have to only believe that I'm going to make it up this mountain. I can't let them. There's no point in entertaining going back down because you realized in that moment, I can't go back down. There's no point in it, so you let it go. And I think that there's one time I let it in.

I was like what what I do because so many people were like at the time when I was struggling and I had no money and was like, you know, well into doing comedy and it wasn't. I had done the Tonight Show and last time I standing, but like nothing else was happening and I was still needing to borrow money, and it was just like, what if this doesn't work out? Like what if that's the what if

that's working out? Is doing this to Night Show and then nothing after that and um, and there was a lot of like doubt in my parents of like what are you gonna do? Neck like if this isn't and I just I just was like kind of laughed it off, like that's so funny that you think it won't. But I don't know where that came from. It wasn't something I tried to do. I wish I could make I wish I could do that for other things in my life.

I've never been so sure about something else, And now it's kind of happened and I wish I could kind of do that for I don't know, just my personal life. My Yeah, it's interesting where but there's definitely ways to to learn how to do that stuff. And that guy Joe to spends I wrote a book about it, but I cannot stand his meditations in his voice, so I'm giving up on my dreams. Thank you guys so much for listening. Um, we will be back tomorrow with one

more show for this week. And uh, I hope you're not cool out there, and don't be Yeah, don't be cool. And Jack