#278 Tagging Out

people are like, you haven't commented on. Well, there's a lot of what happened in your life over the weekend. Now I want to know you go personal life. Andrew's a changed man. I got engaged. You didn't know. I don't do that anything. She said, no, she said that I almost got engaged. I got down on a knee and I couldn't get up, and she's like, I need someone.

You saw a really cute um I guess thing on Reddit that's not a part of Reddit dump today, but a guy was um planning like getting engaged for a whole year, and so every time they took a picture, he would bend down a little bit more. And so the girl just didn't even notice anything because you know, every you know, six weeks and over, they'd be at

dinner or something, are out and look nice. He would just take a picture where he's kind of falling over slowly and then eventually he like falls on the ground. Then he does a flip, and then he gets up and he's like on his knee, and then that's the final picture. And it was just like this long game you saw of him, which is cute because I like when someone has a long like when someone's not just

they've wanted to marry you for a whole year. It wasn't like they just did it, like because they talked about it with their friends for a week. And we're like the effort. You like, A like a lot of effort. It's like the opposite of guy. But I also love Yeah, you're right. I like the idea of him, Like like they get in a fight, he starts standing back, you can always get out of it, and she can just show the pig to people and be like, good, I'm glad he loved you. He looked like he was having

some kind of back scoliosis issues. Um no, you know what I like. I like a plan I like a surprise. I just like two different things, like planned surprise, but I also love a spur of the moment, like I always am very into those. Like we got engaged. It was just us alone in my bathroom and he just like new in that moment. I like that too, So I'm all over the place. But um, what would be

your ideal engagement? Perfect engagement question? One that was not for anyone but us, Like it was an inside joke for us. So maybe it was a big surprise that leads to this big thing, but it's like something that isn't like if it ended up being like a viral video or like a story we told the rest of our lives, it would kind of not be my favorite because it feels like it was for other people that tattoos, Like I don't want a tattoo that it means something

to everyone. What would that entail though, Like everyone can see, like like a twelve piece band comes out, your whole family's there, somehow he invited of your fans to come, or I would be furious. I would be furious. It could be one of those things where he's like, you're not really gonna be mad, you know, like when someone's like, oh, that means he wants that Sea World or whatever. I mean,

I hate Sea World. But like there was like this, um what's it called when they have like ravens, like like, ah, god, the guys that have um, the eagles like that they do those shows. Falcon Er, thank you. I love that word. So they had falconer and this girl, you know, the falcon falcon, the falcon rest. The falcon rest was like, you know, does anyone in the crowd have five dollars?

Henry here loves money, and so this girl instantly waves a five dollar note because I think it was an all Ustralia and she wives five pasa and she's waving in the AA and um. The falcon just goes straight to her and then comes back and gets and he she goes, okay, well, thank you for the he loves that five dollars, Thank you so much. He's gonna stand

back your receipt. And so then the falcon sends back a receipt and the boyfriend's right next to the girl, and the girl like she's like make sure he got it right. It's five dollars. And then the receipt said will you marry me? And then she just goes and then she looks next to her in the guys on his knee. I thought that was that is nice to bring the bird into it. Yeah, you know, I mean, you're not gonna say no to that, Like the falcon

is going to be upset. You're in front of the crowd, you know, the fucking I mean later, that's the thing. You can always break off. But that's what kind of annoys me when I have friends that get engaged and they're like, I don't know about it. I'm like, you can still get out. It doesn't mean anything. This means literally there's no contract. I guess the ring is the contract then at that, but keep the ring or give it back or who or like buy yourself a ring.

I don't know. It's just I think so many people think that they can't get out of things you want to love. Some point, I never understood the looking at the ring with the guy. I was just like, no, what you can get out of it? You know, like you're not you can leave your partner at your law firm. I mean, what are we talking about? Um? What when you look for the ring with the guys, like, you know, I just feel like that takes kind of the surprise

out of it. Then it's like, okay, now we're just kind of well, this is a piece of jewelry you have to wear the rest of your fucking life. You on for your whole life. You didn't season finale. You should have picked it out with them. I know it's beautiful. It's still on, decrepit and like getting bent in certain areas. It's yeah, it's still on, but um, and people keep

sending me ring things. Even my mom is sending me things because her friends are listening to the podcast, and she goes, you know, Nancy wanted me sending you this. I don't even know what it means. But like everyone saiding me rings up, I don't even want it off. I'm not going to try anything else unless that thing that you send me to get it off is right in front of me. I'm not doing it. I don't feel like going out and buying a kid. And it's not because I'm lazy. It's because I'm very lazy. Gets

down to take that ring off. It is on my right hand. I think it's so stupid that you're not allowed to wear rings on your ring finger, which I do have on right now, um because it but it does tell people like you could be married. I mean, you are not smart enough to know that these rings are not a wedding band, right, You would think I was married if we didn't know what you got married five times? Yeah, exactly so. And I don't mean smart about I just mean like savvy, but like I wouldn't

know this either. I don't know. Whenever a girl shows me a ring, I have never once been like whoo or like I It is the same reaction every time because they're either so big that you were forced to go whoa. But inside I'm like it's a little big, Like that's kind of like it's probably actually not that yeah, so big? You know, what do you think about a promise ring? Do you ever wear a promise ring? Like I,

I'll promise, I'll oh. I like that. I like anything that's like I like it because that's the stage I'm at where I'm like, okay, I can maybe agree to get engaged someday. It's so funny that everyone thinks if you're a girl my age who isn't engaged in a relationship, that you just must be waiting and so frustrated and poor you when's he gonna do it? Can we all just dispel that? What am I going to wear? When is the next shoes? Say a photo with these shoes?

You know that photo? Oh? Yeah, where you bend your wrist, your wrist to stick up. They look like h and cocaine and spring break two? Football one? You were were you in knowledge then? Yeah? And thousand one? Yeah? You graduated in two thousand right two? I graduated from college. From college. That's when I graduated from but oh too. It was an easy one to go, right. I guess you don't believe celebrate the year you graduate college because it's kind of like, well, I kind of graduated. I

didn't know. I walked. I didn't have a diploma, do you know. I didn't know until they sent I hadn't re send it, so I walked. I still had four or five credits left. So my parents came. I had no diploma in there. I walked there. I oh, they gave you something. They gave me the binder. There was nothing in the bud would even let you do that. I have no idea. Get you to buy the cap and gown and make probably sweet sweet cash. Yeah, the diploma I wanted to walk. I guess to impress my parents,

but I was lying. It was it was all of a farce. And then even your degree is a lie because you cheated so much. So even if you have the real degree, it doesn't really I shouldn't. Yeah I should, Yeah, there's no I never went to I should go, but I'd fail out. I couldn't get in today was on the way to That's so funny. You couldn't get if I had to take the A D s now, I could not get into the now. You probably have a high i Q. MYC is good. My i Q was tested. What was your i Q? We never had my i

Q tested. That means it's low. Really believe that. Well, if no one ever forced it on you. No one was like, let's see what she is. You thought you were a genius or into that were doctor narcissists that wanted my children to follow One was yeah, both were right. I a doctor to get into this school. In public school, there was a gifted program, and what I was told is you needed one thirty or higher for gifted. And my older brother achieved this. So they used to iQue

was like a very antiquated way to show intelligence. I mean, I don't think it, but I think that's a number. That's like getting a twenty nine on a c T, which is what I got three times in a row. That's good though, Yeah, but I wanted that thirty because if you get a thirty, you get to go to

school in Missouri for for read. Here's the thing. I think you're twenty nine was really I think my one was told to me about my mother for me to feel like I got I'm really six four yea and a million and had big hands and all my teeth.

I'll say I went to the baseball game this weekend and one of the players went said, and I was right at home plate, like right behind home plate, uh second row green seats, which are these special seats at Bush Stadium where you go beforehand and there is a gigantic buffet, gigantic like you're at a casino, like a nice one. He is so good. They had broccolini. That's all I needed. I love it so much. Did you know broccolini is? Because I looked like, what is the

difference between broccoli and broccolini? Do you want to know? Delia your mind? It kind of does. One is like one is for models, teeth and the others. For fact, broccoli asparagus, it is that. Yes, it is a cross breed between asparagus and broccoli. You're going to say, like asparagus, was that the yes, I had no idea. Yeah, look, I mean looking up. I think I'm right. I looked it up a really long time ago, and that feels like it's right to me. But the thing is, it

doesn't taste like asparagus. It's so it's so good. I loved it so much. And for some reason, Broccleni always has those little like red garnishes all over it. There's always like little maybe at their lapenos, they always have a garnish that's red. People love to spring. Don't say pet or like that. Every Yeah, that's how I say. He so correction, Nicki. According to the Chicago Tribune, broccoli ne fake news, liberal agenda. Okay, what else? Kanye anti somatic?

So uh, it's a hybrid of broccoli and Chinese kale. It's not related to asparagus, damn it. Okay, I thought it was asparagus. Exciting for a second that you almost got it was dumb for that. I don't know, well, I couldn't retain that information, and I really looked it up, like a couple of months ago. It was an interesting vegetable that it was fucked with. Man, I really hope there was a bestie out there being like, that's not

really screaming, they're listening. It was we do, but it's you know, it's hard to look up things and do a show. And I that's the same thing that happened on Wheel of Fortune. I want everyone to know if you watch me on Wheel of forgun and I did, I have to say I did really good, better than you would have done. But if you are out there, not you like anyone better than I thought I would

have done. I was shocked. Yeah, I won um the first game, and I would have won the second game, but I I'm not saying I would have, but it was a good chance I would have. But I messed up this one thing. It was the clue was it was like, where is the metaverse? And how do we how do I get there? And I said how do we get there? And I was just because usually that's saying is like, and how do we get there? It's not how do I get there? So I just said and wrong. The whole thing I said we instead of I,

but it was on the board. But the board said I, yeah, that's what I'm saying and said, oh my god, yes yeah, but I was just because I knew the first so easily. Well, I just knew the phrase, like it's like I'm in the and how to Like I just thought it was we, you know, I just said it, but I knew I know the difference between well, it's the same as Jeopardy and you don't go, what is the Aleutian Islands? You know?

But are um? And so it went to Tig and Tig was so confused because she thought I said the right thing. So she's like, where is the metaverse? And how do I get there? And they're like correct, and she's like, what did I do differently? And I'm like, I said we, But I will say that it is

so hard. I wouldn't have thought this. It's so hard to try to guess the puzzle, while it's so easy when you play at home because you don't have to worry about the puzzle, you don't have to worry about talking to Pat, you don't have to worry about the time limit, you don't have to like or spinning the spinning the wheel is a huge effort. You have looked at very heavy. You do not It does not go around one whole spin unless you are like gonna, you know,

twirl it off its access I wonder then you can't. No, there's no, Like it doesn't seem I mean maybe, but if there's no, there's probably one guy has one in his garage. He's like one day this perfectly well, it just it's that was the annoying part was like you never had any time to actually work on the clue. When you're at home, you just stare at the clue and you don't have to go Pat, I think I'll buy a date, like you just are watching and I just realized so many people are probably at home being

like why would she not come? And it really is because you just and and there's no like actual time limit to guess. But you you know, I hate dead air and so if you're just going, can I buy it? Uh? What do you have a D? And then there's Vana goes d D and there's three and then two seconds of me going and I'm like I'll just spin and then I get a bankrupt you know whatever. It is like, yeah, I don't want to have any dead air on this show.

That's like nice enough to have me on as a celebrity, and I want to prove that, like I'm not a waste of space. So it just felt like a lot of similar to who be in air flow? Yes, yes, if you screamed, I wonder if they would they barely even no one even cared that. Literally, take solved it and no one goes, why did you say we? It's such a common thing that happens on that show. It's you know, not even remarkable. But what is the puzzle really far? Okay, great question it is. I've been wondering

this my whole life. I am someone who just thought that broccoli and asparagus made broccolini. So take this for what it is, and we got I got a twenty nine on the A C G. But um, I believe what if we're talking feet? Because I don't know football like football fields, I don't spend enough time on them. I don't like to give that as an example. I'll

do it like a swimming pool, a fifty meter swimming pool. Okay, wait, though that's twenty in the swimming pool because the fifty would be two laps okay, So I would say it's I would say it's away at least it's a it's a far. It's a far, like you're like Vana, if you're looking at her, she's a little tiny army man like you could like pinch her with your fingers if you put it in front of your face, Like that's how tiny she is away from you. What, yeah's is so big. I could not throw a ball to Vannah.

I know that that's how Why so far away? I don't know. It's very cold in there too, like studio. That's another thing about TV that six day or like something crazy, don't think. Yeah, I think that was the thing. I used to actually feel like I couldn't watch Wheel Fortunate because I heard somewhere that Pat say Jack like was kind of like bored with his job. He's been doing it for longer than I've been alive, I think, you know, and they do it so many times a day.

So I used to feel like I can't enjoy the show anymore because I know Pat doesn't like it. But then I got there and Pat was having a great time.

Pat likes this job. Pat's good at it. Um Yeah, But I, uh, what else was I was saying, Oh, I got to do my makeup in the Jeopardy room, which was right next door the Celebrity Jeopardy Room, which I'm a little bit there was a part of me that once I saw that Celebrity Jeper and Celebrity Wheel of Fortune were paired as a prime time block of shows, yeah, I'm like, oh, they put me on the dumb celebt one where we just spind the wheel and we'll fill

in the letters. Celebrity Checkers as opposed to check You got the Checkers of games. Yeah, so I don't know I've got And then they saw you say we and they're like, you know what, we made the right choice. You would do great dumb stuff on jepardy. Yeah. That's my next goal is to go on slub jup. You would be great at slub jep sounds racist. Okay, let's go to break. We'll be right back after this. It O all right, Welcome back to the show. Um Andrew got engaged this weekend? Um No, did you have any

big news happened to this weekend? No? But we both did that fun show on Saturday, Tom Sigura, um Andrew did the early show at the Fox. I did the late one. It was so on to perform in front of that many people. I mean it was like, I don't know about you, but like my like we've you've done very big rooms, like I'm not trying to keep that. Yeah, I mean that felt very fast because I feel like the balcony was very far away from the stage. It just like when they say the laughter comes in waves

or whatever. It did feel like a ha ha ha, like you almost had the time in a little bit. There was a conductory the other word, an orchestrator, and a conductor the guy that goes like the conductor. Yeah, that's a train guy. I don't know. I think I messed with your mind. Thank you. Um yeah, it felt like just such a people in that place. So um. It just feels so um that that little extra hundreds, like because I'm doing like hundred caters too. I mean the most I've done is like on my own, that

extra thousand in thousand and a half two thousand. It's like it's I never am someone who's like, whoa, this is awesome. But the first thing I said when I got I know, I got like one laugh and I was just turned to the side and I was like, Tom, I cannot wait to be this famous, Like it feels so good. I was like, please, we mislike me and they're queen of my shows. That's all I'm gonna be. I want to be Cedar to Show Night famous, which

is a lot to ask. I have to say, those are That's a huge feat for any comedian to be able to sell that many tickets. Like Tom is killing it in ways that you know probably comics out there killing it. I filmed him going out and he got a complete standing note to just go out. And it's just like my parents were like, he is very famous, he's very popular. He didn't know your dad was so funny.

You didn't get to see them because they came to the here and they missed the set because I told him it was at seven thirty and it was at seven, so I didn't know. Oh, your mom is so funny. Your mom is She's the funniest person alive. She was making us laugh so hard on Friday night too. What did she stay inside? There were so many things, but the one I do remember is they go you live in someone like it was a great set. After him to show, I was like, you live in St. Louis,

Why did you come to St. Louis? And your mom dis goes, he came to walk my daughters, because here's what happened to parents. My parents saw the story too, because you do this thing where you don't like to admit you came here to work for me. So I've heard many people talking about on podcast where they've heard you, and they go, Andrew will like Dodge, He'll be like, I have a podcast on I Heart. You don't like

to say my name? What are you about? Care? I get it, that's not true though the story a million times she said that. You go, someone goes, why did you end up in St. Louis And you go, oh, you know, I just um New York getting and then she just goes, you came here and walk my daughters, which is a true might daughter's dog. So I know, but I just I kind of want. I feel like that was like an attack, like I don't do I do. I've told our story thirty d times. I believe you.

I don't. I'm not saying I don't understand. Every time I get asked to do any interview, they say your name thirty five times before they even mentioned my name. Everything you've been in my name. I understand. I'm not mad at just the same thing with Amy Schumer would be like she's from train Wreck, she's from inside Amy Schumer, and I have to use. Everyone would think Amy Shumer was about to walk on stage because all of my

credits involved someone's name that was in the show. So I listen, I get it, and she just goes dog Walker and which isn't true, but it was funny. I just thought it was. It was a funny thing because it's like, all right, thanks, all right, thanks, uh and then uh, and then your dad found out Tom was born in Cincinnati. Just kept going, he just kept going on. Now he's from Cincinnati. Came were talking about Cincinnati. Ohati

Tom was born in Cincinnati. Well yeah, And so your dad finally went up to him, like after mentioned Cincinnati time he goes, you're born in Cincinnati, like he's been waiting like this whole time, and Tom goes, yeah, it's born in like Fairfield or some someplace by. Yes, and your dad right away on Cincinnati, like like the whole build up with Cincinnati. My dad is so bad about that stuff. It really bothers me. And the thing is

he'll he won't. I don't even want to get into it because it's so everything is about Cincinnati with my dad. If someone he could have been like saying that if he found out Tom eight in Cincinnati, if he found out like Tom has been to Cincinnati before, he would still be like it's been My parents annoyed me so much this weekend. They're into the Bengals now and they've never been into football. I was going to say, I was like, this is probably why you're annoyed by team pride. Yeah,

because these people aren't from Cincinnati. I think every city should have to have your players from the team from the city, and then you can have some sort of pride your your city bought these people. I mean, this isn't like a new thought to anyone that I'm having right now. It just it just shows me that I think it's just I get jealous, I guess of people being so excited about something that to me is so empty.

But I mean I have the same kind of thing, but my parents are just suddenly like, oh god, oh he sucks, And I'm like, you are making the dog stress, You're making me stress all because of this team that you don't even live in the city. You didn't like them two years ago, you only like them now because network television is playing them and so you can watch it. But if they were cheering on and being happy, I go they some guy you know, didn't throw the ball

the right way that my dad would have. And my Dad's like, they can't throw, he can't throw. And I was like, if the other team made that mistake, you'd be cheering right now, So what does this even matter? Who gives? He goes? But the other team didn't make the mistake, So I'm mad, and I'm like, but you act like it's just so stupid. And I've never seen my family. It almost like watching my family slip into dementia.

I got like that much sadness from watching my family become these football fanatics that scream at the TV in a way that the dogs start hiding under tables. Why no one can hear you. No one can hear you. And my dad can't throw a football for the fucking life of him, So what do you yell? Many football fans cannot throw a football. The bigger to fan usually

yelling really triggers me. It sounds like an angry, drunk dad, And I don't have one of those, and I'm like, suddenly I just got one because the Bengals got Joe Burrows or whatever, like it just annoys me. The same thing with the Panthers. Oh how could my heart rate go? Thinkin there's probably trauma and families from hearing dad's scream about football. It cannot be good for your health. I've never heard you yell at my game, and I always

want to. I just want to follow up with people a year later and go, remember that game, what happened? It was a tough one, Like how did that did? I want to do? The five five five rule? What did this matter to you in five hours? What did it matter to you in five days? What does it matter to you in five months? What does it matter to you in five years? Like? Is this really that important? But then again, there are things that I I'm watching Bachelor in Paradise right now, and I'm reminded of you're

yelling at the TV. No, I don't yell TV. I have fun with it. I don't go oh my god, I don't scream like this. I've never even heard my dad have this kind of anger, and it's like it's so it hurts my heart to hear him get that like upset, and I feel like I did realize what the Love is Blind reunion that they just had. I loved Love is Blind. I watched every episode and then the reunion came back, and I realized, Oh, I forgot

all of these idiots. Literally they were flushed from my life, like like from my brain like on an airplane, like down and just gone instantly. Because it was also fleeting. It was fun for that couple of months and then it was all gone. So it was just as stupid as sports. But I guess I didn't get a hernia screaming about you know what's her name? The blonde that

goes after the other blonde that's constantly on coke. I guess it's just it's a way to get out your emotions as a guy, especially if you go to the game and you just get you finally get to yell. It's like you're you're only able to yell at a sports game or in the woods, or into a pillow, or when your wife or when your wife overcooks the turkeys. Yeah, there's four ways, but you know what I mean, It's a way to get out this tension. That's definitely inside

of you, and it's like it's almost accepted in a way. Yeah, men have a lot more anger and like just that that that kind of feeling than I guess women do. My friends on that how do you get it out? Well, my group chat and I have been talking about we've been figuring out how many times we cry and orgasm in like a week. I asked my friends that, like, how many times do you have an orgasm? How many times you cry? And on you guess some low number

for crying and I know that, bitch. I was like, there's no way you cry once a week because I realized that I did not cry it all during my silence because I was kind of tracking that was that was something I was worried about, like what if I have to go like, uh, you know that's a sound I wouldn't I would have to cry silently, so I never even close to cry during it. And I go, that's a long time to not cry as a woman

for three weeks, not even close to it. And so then after that, I was like, I think I have a problem, Like why am I not crying more? And um my friends all were like I think that's pretty normal who cries more than like once every three weeks, and then all of them cry. Oh. Then now that they're tracking it, they're like, oh, I cried four times this week, came three times crying about how much you are crying? Yeah, do you count crying as I do

not count crying as tearing up? Like a TV thing can make me tear up, But unless there's like tears coming down and me kind of going like it just like feel I just don't even that's crying. So be them yelling at the TV is crying for a man, Like that's your dad crying, crying for help. But it just comes out like fuck you, bro, I am sad. I let it out in like on here. I'll just like complain about something, but I just I'll raise my voice a little bit, maybe get a tone or um.

I don't know. I usually just sleep it away, like I'll just abuse myself with sleep to the point where we'll like, let's just not I don't know, I don't know where it singing. But because that's kind of like a crying thing, get it out. But do you feel like sports for you for your five class? Do you? Guys? They don't. It's actually very quiet. It's like awkwardly quiet, like I'm used to some gyms. No, there is music

very loud and probably too loud of music. I don't know what kind of music you like to work out too. They play a lot of they'll play like techno ship where it sounds like a chainsaws, like getting like molested, and it's just terrible and it's just like so bad, such a sad picture because they're so talk that's so and uh I like hip hop and so but no one like goes whoa, no one, it's so bad, dude.

I love the first so after at the first, at the first, at the beginning of each class, they have to do like um stations and they show each stations and they're like here you're gonna and they have to like show what the station is, like here's a try some extension at this point, add new things that you haven't seen yet a little bit every once in a while. But every day is different, more stations, different kind of body part, different kind of workout. But the people, it's

so quiet in there and and no one laughs. No one laughed, but they'll like try to throw a joke in or and everyone's so every audience is just terror

and I feel so bad. There could be up to twenty five people, So imagine you're talking in front of them and they get really nervous and they're like, I don't know how you do it in front of And I just feels for them so much because we talk in front of people you've either used to maybe they don't need it, or do you feel like they need it, because wouldn't they stop trying if no one ever you can tell that they were maybe taught to be a little bit funny, but just like cheerful. I have a question.

By the end of a class, do you want to die? No? No, it's not to that point because I'm just going to yoga classes for two weeks. And I have always like been like I don't want to go to yoga. It's just like I'm not very bendy. It always makes you feel insecure that I'm not as bendy as the girl

next to me. And she's like fifty eight and she's just like on her just doing a headstand and doing a you know, pigeon toes what I don't know, like an inverted downward dog, and um, I was going and I was really liking it, but it was so slow and so gentle that by the end of I was

just like, this is hell. And I went to I went to two different three different class Yeah, three different ones, because I was like, maybe this one is just like four like I would say, Queen Elizabeth could have done this class in the last week of her life and been completely fine. Um with every single there was no And then there was one that Chris and I would do that was so funny we could not we could not believe it. It was at his gym and it was called Surrender, and it was all the po We

did eight poses. I'm not kidding you, guys. I counted eight poses in one hour with each side, so sixteen total, and that might actually be exaggerating. It was some low number like that. We would hold each pose on each side like it was literally all of them were on our back. All of them were horizontal, so there was nothing ever that was they were stretches. You would just

like put your arm over to the side. And I thought the instructor fell asleep for the first hold because it was I started counting at three minutes and I started counting just because I was like, this is hilarious. How long is this gonna go before someone says something? It's a room of like forty people in the dark, and it was five and a half minutes for each hold, so five half minutes on this side, then switch five and a half minutes on this side, five and a

half minutes anyone. It was so bored. It was like it was honestly about the amount I moved during a sleep, like tossing in turn. That's how many difference, And that's about how strenuous it was as well. Chris and I got so bored we started just kind of like fondling each other like we were in the dark in the back lead. Not fondling, but we started just kind of like messing with each other and laughing and like doing bits because it was it was it was a class

to teach you how to nap. It was really a sexy, sexy yoga. But then the teacher afterwards, I I wasn't wasn't talking at the time, and this teacher is lucky that I couldn't, because I was going to say something. I was literally going to walk out. If I would have been alone, I would walk to the class and immediately to send a message because this was not okay, but everyone's just like that was so restorative, thank you

so much. And this guy is waiting by the door just staring us down, like how do you like that? And he almost looked at me to ask me, and I almost got on my phone to type something just to be like, uh, you really nailed the name of the class, like surrender. I had to surrender every every impulse to be like this is so it was such a waste of time and I was just confused at what yoga is meant to. I don't know. I did like the other yoga classes, kind of not enough to

go back. I'm so glad because during my three weeks of not talking, I wasn't able to work out at all because you there's some kind of like thing you do with your throat when you work out, where you go like look like and it makes your vocal courts hit. So I couldn't work out. But now I'm back to running, and thank god, I just want things to be fast. I think the cardio days for the other than being a class and like that's kind of annoying, you would enjoy because it's a lot of just like hit kind

of movements. It's not overly weight. A lot of like planks stuff like that. What you're very good at. You did a plank I think four minutes and thirty second. Know, I was like six to eight minutes. I think it was something like that. Yeah, I mean I can't do one now for even twenty seconds. So it's amazing how it degrades so quickly. It's crazy. Yeah, it's but yeah, I think you would enjoy it. It's the opposite whatever you just said. It's the complete opposite of that. I know.

But I just like to do my run. Now. I can do four miles in like eight to eight to nine minutes per mile, and it just is done so quickly. I can listen to seven songs or whatever. It's just like a perfect yesterday and now after a week of running, I have stamina and I'm able to talk on the phone the entire time. And so yesterday I called on you yesterday and I I was like, we got to the end of it, and I go, I can't believe

I'm done. This is usually such a slog. I mean, I just started running a week and a half ago, so it's been like a lot to get back up that stamina, and so every run has felt like, oh God, another mile. But then talking to on yesterday, I was just like, oh my god, does this even count because I don't feel like my body went through I don't even remember working out because we were just talking on

the phone. And made me think like there must be something about working out that if you aren't mindful of what you're doing, your muscles might not use it as much like it felt like I was doing washing the dishes talking to her, and so I wonder if it counted because my body didn't register it. I forgot it.

Did it? Yeah? I think it's amazing that your brain can can shut that off, that feeling of like I'm not gonna make it, I'm running so long, all that like extra, I'm you're you're listening to your own breath and all that. You're just on the phone and you talk for thirty minutes. I used to do it all the time, um and because Petelee, when we were really close, we used to just talk on the phone all the time, and I'd be like, can you just like talk to me?

And that's when I started doing it, and I was like, Oh, this is great because it actually makes me talk less, so then I listened more, a better friend. And also I have someone. When you're running as a girl, you kind feel like I could be raped in any second to especially when it gets a little bit darker at night. So this way you have a witness to it. Someone here's hearing it. Yeah, go why would he drop that? Wow? Nicki's listening so much. Now she's dead. She's dead. But class,

I just wonder. I love you want to be completely exhausted. Yeah, And if I'm going to a class, I want to feel like, oh my god, like at the end of it, I love a class where I don't love it because I would go to those classes if I did. But if I do go to those classes, I want at the end to be like gonna die. Come with me. I'm not trying to. I can't because I'm out of

shape in that way and I'm too competitive. I would just I would feel like such a loser because I wouldn't be I would have to go on my own for months and getting really good shape then I could go. Otherwise I couldn't do it. I'm so much more competitive than I thought. I realized I'm real of fortune because the other day Chris's radio show is talking about my run on Wheel Fortune and they're like, we think she

kind of threw she was killing so hard. We think she's through the second game to be nice, speak to Tig and Thomas because they weren't doing as well. And I was like, I would never ever ease up on a game like that, especially it's money for charity to make someone else feel better, like I genuinely, But does the competitiveness come from your own pushing yourself or how other people are gonna view you not being able to do the workout. I just hate being bad at things.

I hate it and I and I hate when other people feel sorry for me or like that's why I struggle with guitar lessons, Like I My guitar teacher now is has I can just tell he has no judgment. He does not care at all, he has seen it all. It's like it doesn't even register to him that I'm bad.

In fact, he shows me so many things and teaches me so fast, and sometimes I'm like, he must think I'm good because this is really hard and he has no idea that I already knew the song and that's why I'm good at this other way to be fucked right now, But like that being bad unless i'm is it being bad or is it being like a starter

at something being a novice. Well, I understand being a novice and being bad in that way, but there are things like I'm not a natural athlete, so I'm never gonna my novice is gonna look worse than everyone else's novice unless I have unless I get really good at it on my own. I just don't want to debut things. It's too embarrassing. And it's just and Andrew has this thing where you like giggle in a weird way when because you're happy I'm there doing this thing that you love.

But I take that giggle like you do it with golf too, And that's why I've never wanted to play golf with you. But it is because it's my insecurity giggle. Because you're happy that someone you're sharing this with someone You're like, yeah, she's doing it, but no, your kiddle makes me think you're making it. Triggers my I'm getting made fun of thing. But like because boys laughing at how I throw or how like I take laughing. My

dad does it too. My dad will laugh at how bad I am at things a lot, so I take laughter as like you're mocking me, and I think that's where I get the wires crossed of like I'm being made fun of when Andrews really just happy. But I can't let it go, and it just makes my blood pressure go up and I just want to throw down the racket or whatever. I'm practicing playing golf with the place we're going at golf, I was probably giggling. I

just thought, I mean, it was awesome. And there was a conversation with my with my coach about going on a date, like I love that guy. What is his name again, j R? Yeah he was a sweetheart. Yeah, I mean it's ah. Yeah. I think like some people like I was going to try to do jiu jitsu and I was like, I'm not in shape enough to do jiu jitsu, and their answer usually is, well, that's how you get in shape, you know what I mean,

Like you get in shape by doing that thing. I want to be a novice around around teachers, good teachers.

I don't want to be a novice around people who are good at the thing who aren't used to teaching, because teachers have empathy for beginners they don't judge, but people who are just like this is my domain, welcome to where there's just this like thing like that there though there are a lot of beginners for real, I'm not trying to like plug this thing, but it's like, you won't feel I wouldn't put you in a situation where I would be like, dude, she's gonna look like

a fucking idiot. I know, but I just would. It's about me feeling like an idiot. And my dad has no sense of And I've talked about this before, but learning guitar from him was just held me back in my life so much. It was the biggest mistake to ever thing to ever play in front of him, just him being like, why don't you know that you can't bar that G? And it's like, yeah, because I'm in fourth grade, I can't bar a G. Like that's really hard.

I'm not like a little um. I don't know what savant, but just that he and I'm the same way sometimes where I show someone I'm much better about it because I practice empathy and have had to teach it to myself. But getting frustrated with someone that's learning something that you already know and You're just like, how do you not know that? And it's like, well, because I didn't read

that article where you found that out. Dad. Like the other night, I was so mad when I when I was at the baseball game with Chris, He's teaching me about baseball like slowly and he goes and he's so nice because he knows my level of comprehension and isn't surprised when I don't know something like there will be times where he's like, now that's second base. Do you know what second basis? And I'm like, I'm not that dumb, But it's nice that he's like he's not judging any

of it. But I didn't know that when you are on a base that when the batter is up and they hit it, that you have to tag back if they catch it. They you know, you know, if the batter is out, then you have to tag back. Where do you learn that? Who teaches you that? But do you remember the day someone because that would be a formative moment in my life if someone was like, hey, there's this weird rule where you have to tag back. I've never even heard of that. I didn't know that

the catcher could block the person coming on home. But who learns this? Where do you learn this? Where the where's the class was born with this knowledge? No, it does not get to us. It's not fair. We taught the rules in a structured way where it's like chapters and broken down. I don't want to just like absorb it from like watching my dad talk about the game on the couch, Like I just feel like, I'm do

you think you know? But I just feel like I should know about tagging in before I'm thirty eight years old, or like tagging out or whatever the hell it's called. I think I should know that the picture can block the homeplate? Why and why is that a thing? Why can they block it? Yeah, well that seems crazy to me. Yeah, I mean they can. They can kind of if if it's like a play at the play. I don't know the exact rule on when they can and when they can't just stand there and like try to fight you

away from the plate. But if it's like a play at the point, so the exact rule if you're watching a baseball game, Like That's the thing that bothers me is that people are like, yeah, I think I just figured that out eventually. I'm like, but I would want to know if I cared about this, I'd want to know every detail, and everyone just seems very casual about it. Well, I think I just like, so you either want to

know everything or nothing or nothing. But I want to understand where people learn these things because I and I know that there are some girls that are like to put on makeup and it's like, oh, I just absorbed it over the years, literally, I mean every every almost. I don't know how many percentage of boys have played Little League? Did you know about tagging out? No? I just learned about it at my nephew's Little league game. So you saw it happen and go, what is going on?

They have to go back to the base. Then I asked on the weirdness of it, Okay, I was like, that's my problem. I'm not ever watching the games enough to go, well, that's a peculiar thing that young gentleman just did. I just don't. I can't follow a goddamn ball for the life of me. I don't know how people know how to follow balls, especially on a football. But do you really if you really wanted to learn, we could do. We could I could, Chris, you don't

want to care. I've tried to teach you. It's the same as music theory when I'm learning guitar, and he's like, and this is a half step up, and this is the root note and then this, and it all is kind of like, no, I don't really want to But you learn through You learned through plane, so I'm learning through plane. So if you would know a tag out hey, you can't leave the base until that outfielder catches it. I don't even think about all. You left too soon.

And that's why he said, I go so little leaguers, just little four year old boys know about tagging out there? What do you mean at their age at four? Like tags and stuff starts happening closer to so they don't enforce that rule. It is enforced. But I'm just saying, there's a lot of balls. If it's hid in the air and t ball out to the outfield, there's a

strong chance it's not being caught, right, So it doesn't matter. Yeah, so but around And that's why he said there is a second and third base coach or the first and third base coach. Why is there no second base coach? I don't know, just out of the way, just get out the way. But that's the thing. The first and the third day out of the way, they're not. They're kind of in the action. That's they're they're literally outside the foul. Funny those coaches, I just go, who is

that incredibly out of shape? Older cardinal play and it's so funny. They're the best. I love a third base coach. They always have a like a either mullet or they have a food man chew. They have dip in their back pocket. They probably sleep in their cleats like they are. They used to play like that. The goal is to become that because you think you look at these baseball players and you go, what's he going to do? Start a podcast, become an announcer, coach, I'd be you still

get to suit up hey with the boys. Yeah. Did you ever want to be a bat boy? I wanted to be a bad boy because I grew up in Port St. Lucy, Florida, where the met spring training training. Yeah, so there was a little bit of that. I was like, Oh, I wish how do you get that? You just got a rich dad? Yeah you gottah you had one. Yeah, but he was who pays attention to Yeah, he was too busy saving lives like a jerk, you know, like it's like, you can't have me to be a bad boy.

Oh someone with cancer. Cool, My dad's a cancer doctor by the way, for context, Yeah, I was a cancer doctor called oncologist. He was a hematologist oncologist, which so blood cancer. Yeah, I thought, okay, got it. Yeah, but isn't lukemia blood cancer. I just found that note today and I'm like, oh, I'm so glad I found that out before I'm learning about baseball. Yeah, Luke, Luke cave me a disease. I mean, I think I could have

gotten there eventually. I don't think I've known that, But today I was heard it on the radio that was like, we need to fight blood cancer, lukem and I was like, oh, Luke, these blood cancer And I'm like, I'm really glad I didn't learn that before I get leukemia, because I'm guessing something like that will befall me. And that would be funny if I was just like, and what's that that? I think, what's that? Happens a lot when you get a disease and you go, what is what is that?

Oh my god, it's gotta yeah it's gotta suck to hear it. And it doesn't sound that bad. And they're like, no, no, no, this is like really bad. I'm reading a book about the AIDS epidemic. Um, it's it's a fiction. It's called The Great Believers. It's so good. It's about, you know, AIDS in the eighties. And this woman goes to Paris and in Paris it's called SEDA s I d A instead of AIDS. And she's like, it sounds so much better. It's interesting. Sounds like like a a nice like you're

in like a bode in Venice or something. It sounds like it's kind of tea with my coffee. Okay, we gotta go to break. We'll come back with Redditum, alright, we're back. It's time for Reddit. This is your Reddit. Do my golf giggle check you away from being the champion. I'm sorry, No, it's not your fault, straight face. Just you get the giggles when you're excited. It's a it's a nice thing, but I boys laughing when I'm doing sports ain't a good combo. If I start pointing, I

think that's where's the problem. Surreptitiously, where's my phone. Oh no, one second, I think he's going to get her phone on a second. This is your red Do you go and redd it a lot? Noah, not really, because you have to have the app and stuff, and I'm just trying to have less apps to distract me. Wow. So no, Reddit, do you do? Do you have TikTok? No you have no app? No? No, I have apps. I just don't have TikTok. I don't want to get all right, Reddit? I mean wait, so no, you don't do read it

as What are your apps? What are your top three apps that you use? I do read it on the web, like when you're on the or whatever when I'm on the computer. Um, I guess like Instagram. So you're not bad and you can't sleep? Do you have your phone with you? Yes? And it's what do you do? What do you go to? What's your first thing to go do? Um? I guess like Instagram? I check Instagram and then when that gets boring, what do you switch to? What's your order?

Do you have an order to right Andrew walk when you're bored? Okay? Too much time? Really? Yeah? That seems weird. Okay, first you started Instagram, then you go to Pinterest and then do you go back to Instagram or do you have another one that you talkle to. I usually just fall asleep because I scroll so much through Pinterest, but my eyes just rolled to the back of my head and then I fall asleep. Do you fall asleep to a scroll or do you have to know? But I

love Chris does. My favorite thing is when we're laying in but and I can just hear him. His phone is go like like thump, like reread on the duck's back. It's just the gentlest thump and I'm like, oh, someone's out. And I always it's always read it. He's a Reddit guy too. I do. I go Reddit because you're reading, but I always save it because I'm so excited to go to it that I save it. I don't go

to it at any point during the day. And then once I get bored of Reddit, I go to Instagram, and then I go back to Reddit because red it's endless. And then I'll go to um mail Online, which is the Daily Mail, which I'm about to stop going to again because it's just so it's turning into Fox News, the headlines. It's just everything is like liberal, you know, Emily Rodowski, you slam like everyone is liberal. They just like it's it's bad. It's not a good it's not

a good source of news. But they have the best paparazzi shots I know. And then I'll go to Like and then I'll read my book a little bit, and then I'll go back to Reddit and then um, Instagram, but um, I think that's it. Actually, what about you? Twitter? Instagram? So I go to Twitter to like feel somewhat connected and learn about some kind of news, then Instagram to see like what five people are doing, and that makes me upset, and then I'll go to TikTok to wash

that out. Like TikTok is a very like flushing. You don't think TikTok makes me so TikTok makes me sadder because I can't make TikTok videos. It's almost like baseball. I'm just like, there's too many rules. I'm gonna every TikTok I see is like people on TikTok over thirty and it's just some woman doing a lame dance and I'm like, I'm not going to be mocked on here. I'm not even gonna try and your tail like people

that have to post on TikTok. Do you get jealous on TikTok of like people's post doing well and like people looking hot and like doing work out whatever it is for you. I get jealous of skin girls like doing skincare, girls with perfect but girls that with just like clean houses, girls just like doing soft like skincare is really the triggering thing like twenty year olds telling me that what they do for their wrinkles. Girls fun yourself.

I hope you die young, I really do. I always reason whenever I get jealous of young girls is like they could die young, and then I would. Then I will in that casket they You know I have a long erul like. I know that's a sick thought, but I know a lot of women out there get jealous of young girls. Just remember they could die young. Something terrible could happen to someone. I don't want it to, but it could someone showing off how much money they have.

It might be a triggering thing of like because I just think it's just so like, that's so interesting. Some guy will be like, so I don't care if million or a billion, I'm never gonna buy my car. I'm gonna lease my car. That's what you gotta do, lease it, and then you have to have money. Things bother me as well, just fucking blows up. Everyone's like, wow, you're so rich, like, and it's just I don't know. That's the difference between men and women that there are comments

on TikTok. Yeah, that's yeah, that's really why I'm like trying to get away from social media as much as possible. Yeah, and like because I just feel like comments and stuff, like I look at the content and then something in me like really wants to see what other people are saying, and it makes me saying that's my own comments are people go, don't read comments and I go, or don't let that comment upset you. I'm not upset about that one person. I'm upset about how many people they're influencing

and tipping towards she sucks. Just giving a little push in that direction when that person is walking a fine line because we are all susceptible to it, and like you're saying, no, you can feel it. You care about what other people think. I just wanted to know these people. Does it change my perception of reality? That's interesting. I think it's very of note that I don't think I would ever get jealous of girls bragging about being rich,

no matter how rich they were. But I would get so jealous of if they were mixing of face mask in like a clean like porcelain bowl with like a you know, a mortar and pestle in their clean bathroom, and they had like enough hair to have like a substantial amount of bangs that they put up in like a sensible clip, and that clip is like always their clip for their bangs, that they keep right in this little area where their clip for their banks is always there,

every single night, every night I washed my face. My hair is long enough, and this is the way I like it. To me, I just twirl it behind my head and I stick it into my collar. I do not because I never have hairclip. I never have a hairclip. Whenever I do, I go and my Jessica Alba, like, I seriously think I am like I should start a goop because I found a scrunchy in a drawer, Like I feel so together, and I have a million hair things. I buy them all the time, so many clips, and

I can never find them. And I think that's the thing. It's so interesting to me. I would love to not ever feel that way. When I see young in shape people, that doesn't really trigger me. I almost feel if I see someone vary in shape showing working out, I do think it's a little cheesy, like how much like love they get from just showing them benchprint? Like it doesn't, but it actually either. I just look at what I feel. Yeah, but you look at the comments. I don't. I thought

you said, you do know. I don't really look at the comments on girls videos that I get jealous of. I just look at how pretty they are, and it can literally to the girls that i've that you know, show up my explore page. This is usually an Instagram Explore because I don't go on TikTok, but I they usually have like twenty three views and it's in like slavic like I don't even know. I couldn't read the

comments even if I wanted to. Um, yeah, I don't think about aging as much as I think when or whatever. Like I if I did, I think I would overthink it. I would think about my back here, I would think

about receding hairline. I was thinking about aging. I'm thinking about these clean, perfect, smooth women, and some of them are older but they just have like bright bathrooms that are clean, I think, and they just like they make even that girl that I didn't impressive of, like making much as and like having a little stirring thing that they have and then they have a little tray that has goes perfectly for the stirring thing, like having a place for everything. I just will never be a woman

that does that. And I've talked about it a million times, but it's just I just don't relate. And then sometimes I see really messy women that then I get it. I get um angry that I can't be like that free with how gross I am? Or is funny about it? Or you know, it's it's weird, it's you never it's never good enough. There's always going to be a way to go. Man, why can't I Why can't I not care like that girl? Or why can't I care more like that girl? So let's start off reddit. This is

talking about a girl who does not care. This was in the subreddit funny and I guess this happened in two thousand fifteen. I'm only seeing it now. It's from inside Um Edition, which is one of those like Hollywood news shows, and it's a clip of it. This girl got a d U I on campus at Texas State. That's how you get in. Oh god, she blew it under. I don't know what is a breathalyzer does have a

three letters? Um, so she this isn't. You're gonna laugh so hard at the same I think you're gonna love this. She got do I lost her license. Did not want to ride a bike because she's too lazy for a bike, even though her dad bought her one. She lives close to campus, so she thought, what about my Barbie car from when I was a little girl. Let me pull that out of the garage and drive it around campus. And I honestly, this girl is kind of like a hero. Um, can we play it from the beginning? I see it's

kind of going a little bit. Monroe is getting a lot of attention because of the way she's eating her around campus. The twenty year old Texas State junior is driving a Barbie car to get to class, just like she used to do with a real car. So she has one like sticking out of the car. She can't fit in it for the time being. It's terrorist mode of transportation. Why because of big guy She's a police mug shot taking for drunk driving smiling, but Terra didn't

want to use it. I had a perfectly goodbye she off the campus, so UH thought that was the right action to take. I'm kind of a diva. I'll admitted I don't like the slat I don't like to work out. Then she remembered her Barbie car when she was a little kid. She loved that car, so she bought one online. I got now and I told out to test driving. She's like, where's the little girl now? I was like, I am a little girl. No speeding in this vehicle.

This five three gears, there's a reverse, there's turtle, and then there's like rabbit because it goes from my being so fast. Has been criticized by some who think she's making light of a series this is a driving offense, but this engineering major who is on the Dean's List says that's just not true. I'm not at all trying to make a joke out of that, and really me getting the jeep had nothing to do with that. I just didn't want to walk a class. And guess what,

Terra is not alone. My roommate actually just bought one too. It's more because it's a fun thing. It's so funny. And at first I hated her. I go, oh, this is a stunt, this is annoying, but she truly Ba's someone who's so lazy that they don't want to ride a bike or walk and they drive around this car and they do not because that's embarrassing. I don't think I could go a block on that thing. Like the beautiful thing about that is like a vest, but you

gotta get off. She can pull this right into class, you know what I mean? That did you say? But the one she was indoors? I mean, it's a scooter. It's so funny, man, what a genius. I love to see her d u I tape. I mean, it's got to be fantastic. This was ten years ago. I tried to find her. I like to see where she is now. I guess it was, you know, eight years ago, and

so I typed in her name. She's from Texas and she's of course married by now you saw how much fucking you know, lipstick she had on and shadow blush and contouring. I was like that this girl got maror engaged fresh out of college. And now her name is gone and I'm just tired of every woman changing their last name and they all become missing persons. I'm really disgusted by every single person I want to get in

contact with from high school is a missing woman. You cannot find her because she married some idiot and she I'm just tired of it. To be friends with people the rest of their lives, you can find them forever, and women just disappear into their husband's last names. And unless your friend is a spinster or a lesbian, you

are never going to find her. Yeah, I mean, I think the only way is that some of these women are now keeping their name is middle names, Like you know what, That is a step in the right direction, all right, Um, So this next one is to me I r L. For me, I r L is the subredit. It's just a tweet that says my toxic trade is that I don't feel any sense of accomplishment after achieving something, just a mild sense of relief that it's done. Relatable.

You know, I want to I want to feel more like I did it, but it's always because anything that's worth celebrating being over is something that you probably were dreading. And we're like at the workout class. I love the feeling of being like it was hard and I did it and it's over and now I get to reward myself with laziness. What's hard, too, is I just think about what I could have done differently better, or like what I could have done better, like a workout class.

I don't think I didn't do that third set right, but like something that I really cared about the whole time I'm done, I'm just like, oh, that that's interesting because I I was talking about the difference, but there's so many talented people out there, especially comedians, that just don't make it. And I, you know, Chris and I are talking about this so often because we watch people's specialism.

We're like, how does this person have a special? And then this person that we know is so funny does it. And I think the difference, or one of the things, is that there are a lot of my friends who

have self doubt before something I don't. I don't really have that like I will I will go oh, yeah, I can do that, and I will set a goal or I will say yes to something that I go yeah, and a year I can definitely do a special And then it gets to the special the night before and I'm like, I cannot do this, but it's already too late. So it's better to be someone who has self doubt on the back end, because afterwards, I go, I don't want to promote this. I'm embarrassed. I didn't deserve this.

But guess what, it's already out of the gate and I can't control it anymore. So if you can, if you can somehow put yourself doubt after the thing and switch it, I think you can be a lot more successful. I'm just lucky that I don't have that before of like, oh, I don't deserve that. I don't want that. It's like, no, I want everything, and there is a sneaking suspicion that I don't deserve it now. But in a year when that thing is, you know, I have to show up

for that thing, I'll be ready. Never am, But then you know what I mean. Yeah, no, I know exactly what you're saying. I think a lot of people don't ever have that before they go yeah, I don't even want to think I'm one of those people. I think I'm one of those stuff. I'm one of those people that will be like I'll never have a special on Netflix. I'll never like I have that thought, and it's getting

a little bit less and less. I do feel more and more confident that I can do it, especially now that I've been doing an hour and I'm like, oh, I could actually I can do this. I can't, but you have to do that to get to like, did you think even before you hadn't ever did an hour that you could just have an hour special? No, I will say that. I'm just saying for things like, you know, I don't know when when know when the hours there.

I have friends that will go like I was a friend that I heard about has this new hour of material that um, they're feeling a little bit like should I even talk about this thing? It feels like I'm exploiting this thing in my life. And I'm like, there would if I had a knew our material, I would be so psyched after it was out. I would go, oh, that seems like I just exploited that thing. But not before get the special. You already have the time. So that's where I kind of feel like I'm singing the

national anthem at Thanksgiving Day. I'm I'm the ambassador for or what's it called I'm the Grand Marshal of the St. Louis Thanksgiving Day Parade. I got asked to do. It's the first gig I've ever booked singing that wasn't like where it's like, we know she wanted to do this at the ball game she didn't get a chance to do and so they were like, you want to do it? And so um. I think I got asked like four weeks ago and I was like, let me just consider

this for a week. And then I talked to my vocal coach and I was like, can I be ready for this by Thanksgiving? And she was like, oh yeah, and sold be so weird. No, I'm just gonna sing the national anthem like someone would sing like I guess I'm on a float, you know. So I think to kick off the parade, I'll sing the national anthem and you know it's just it's a it's it is a hard song, but it's not that hard when you break it down, And do you really think you know all

the words right now? Like second yesterday and I did it off the top off the try it. I don't think I can, oh say, can you see by the Don's early light? Wait? Oh say? By the dawn early, like, oh man, what's so glad? Proudly we stand at the twilight's last gleaming who's brought stripes and bright stars through the parallelists? Fight yea? Or or like it's over or the or the ramparts we watch we're so gallantly streaming. It's wait, rod glair, great, that's what I'm glaring at

you right now. Rockets, rockets, red glare, red glare. The bombs bursting in there gave proved through the night that the flag will flag still there, like you're getting nervous about it. But it's like, it's not I don't know the words. It's okay, that's they're weird words, and I think most people would not, oh say, does that star spangled yet? Wave? Or for the Home of the It's like one of those songs that you you kind of like when you say I don't know if and let

hear it you're not alone. I had to look at the lyrics yesterday just to make sure I had it right, and some of them were like, you know, things like oh, er, you don't know you you just kind of say you might say four. I think if you were singing it, I could go I could like, you know, yes, oh my god. Um okay, so moving on, um reddit tump. This one's from the subreddit sex and this made me laugh so hard I couldn't wait to share it with Andrew. Okay, this is I'm I apology. No, you're not I Andrew.

I swear to God, I know I'm not. You think if he will judge you, and I know they're not going to go ask someone that you think is really smart to recite it. And because right now you're not a good judge of it because you just heard it, so you're not allowed to do it. But as someone you think it's smart and I but they do worse than Andrew, if not the same. It's hard, it really is. And someone actually said to me, they found out I was doing it, and they go have the lyrics in

front of you. You don't know how many how much footage there is out there of people's celebrities whatever singing nation anthem and forgetting it in the middle of it. And I thought, no way, but it's true. So okay, this isn't our sex um like subreddit are slash sex. Okay, this is so gross and I'm sorry. I apologize ahead of time, but it made me laugh. When I fuck my girlfriend, I sometimes feel the poop on the other side of her vaginal walls, whether it's my fingers or

my dick. When she has to go, I can feel it on the other side. Should I just ignore or tell her? Um? Someone he wrote another thing, I don't give a funk about it. Obviously, I still love my girlfriend. I'm just wondering as anyone else face this, And he said, y'all were totally weird about this one, but I'm not gonna lie. Some of these comments had me cracking up. Some of the comments are I've been in the guy no exam. I've been in for a guy no exam and she was pressing on my poop and told me

I was constipated. Uh, yeah, I know I am. And then someone said, I gotta say, after seventeen years, I can't say I've ever noticed. Now I'm going to check and see. My wife will probably be wondering why I'm saying what I'm doing, or say this new technique you have isn't really working for me. Um, And he goes, Babe, I'm checking for your poop. And so I said, I am a woman and I've felt it in myself before. How embarrassing of a thought it is that men can too. Um,

have you ever felt it? Have you ever thought about considered? I mean maybe it would Yeah, I don't even know what you would actually feel for where it would actually be. Would it be like right, would it be deep? Wouldn't it? I mean yeah, it's kind of right there. There's different chambers for your poop. Yeah, so if your rectum is full of stool, you will likely be able to feel that it's full by touching the wall between the vagina

and the rectum wall. Interesting. You know how many women have sex when they have to like know, coming I say that sometimes you're constipated and your boyfriend wants to have sex and you don't want to say I'm full of poop and the headache thing isn't working anymore. Um. Yeah, I think it's actually very common. I know that I I I will put aside my like bought like unless it's like painful or something or like and I'm not

talking about anything that. I'm just like, I don't really feel like this, like you just go oh, but he needs this and wants this, and it's nice to do for him it's giving a massage to your lover where you're like, I'm not only getting anything out of this, but they love it. How quickly it can go from like you know, mask like fingering your girl like nice and like sexual to an examle Like all it takes is like such a little movement to feel like, wait,

are you just dissecting my vagina? Like that's what so many doing get away with they go the other way. And I will say I definitely searched those porn videos of like creep gynos. It's so weird. I don't know what's wrong with men. There'll be times where Brennan touches my penis. I go, are you just like you're just analyzing my penis? There's no sex sexual thing going on here?

Oh whoa yeah, which is just kind of like there's just a penis and you're just like playing like it's I don't know, might as well just be like a stress ball, like yes, it's interesting. It's like love flaccid penises. I love them. I just think they're so fun. I like to hold them when I'm watching TV. I like to just I like to I'm grateful to not have a boyfriend. Who's like uneasy about it. I'll tell you what. Being in a relationship along one is my longest one. Like, yeah,

makes you much more comfortable with your penis. Oh my god, anyone, any guy out there who's not comfortable with their dick, get in a long relationship, and you will love your penis morning you've ever loved it, no matter what your penis is. That's what I had from my vagina and when I used to be so insecure about it and I thought that it will never I will never get over this. Every time I hooked up with a guy, I would hold my breath like, oh my god, they're

gonna finger me and just be so grossed out. And then my first relationship just it's almost exposure therapy, you know, if you just if it happens enough, you just stop caring. And that's I remember, like the day I was like, oh my god, I think that this will not be a thing for me anymore, because it's so not a thing now it's nice. I will literally laugh about off

my penis. It's like I'm laying in a way it's like inside my body, like I'll be like my dig's gone, like like that's like where I've gotten to maybe it's too like calm or like, uh, like I'm too comfortable. Really, I mean, no relationship is perfect, but it is so nice to be in a relationship where I never feel like he's judging my body or my face or is disappointed in how I look in some way. And I know that that's not everyone's scenario. I know that there

are women that feel like their husband's disappointed. I mean he does not. He does not like I will say when I like do an ugly face or do something that's like gross, or like stick my stomach out and be like, oh the baby is coming, Like he doesn't want to see me accentuate things. But I've never felt ever like in the comments he makes about older women on TV are always like, oh my god, I can't wait to get older because he seems very into that.

Which it just that I have to you know, sometimes relationships are hard and you go, oh, this this isn't like I try. I'm I've been on the Girl's Chat recently and we've all been like celebrating the things we like about our partners and like trying to focus on like why we're in this. Because I was the other day like, why do we like men? Like because we're we all get so much out of this girl's chat.

We're all sharing, we're all emotional, we're all saying things we really can't say to our partners, even though they're the person we're supposed to be able to share everything with. Not really, But and I go the other day, I go, I'm not trying to do a bit, honestly, why are

women attracted to men? Like? I don't get it? Do you think that why you're attracted to a man because the masculinity of being like protected during wartime and famine, Like I really think there's something about he is more body mass, muscle muscle, body mass, so it can protect you and there's something so there's something arousing about that.

And um, I and I don't know the other thing because I don't understand why all my friends are friend marrying men who don't talk about their feelings, let alone talk. I'm just talking was talking of bitches I've ever known, And you're all with men who don't like that's the number one thing is like, you know, my husband doesn't really like to talk. And I'm like, but you're the

chattiest personal life, Like why would you marry someone? And I go, why are we attracted to people who don't do the thing that we like to do more than anything? I guess I guess that's the only way to think about it. Balance doesn't make sense to me because I don't seek out friends that don't talk. I seek out friends who give me what I need, which is someone who like helps me process my feelings. And I'm not

talking about my boyfriend. My boyfriend is actually on like the higher scale of like liking to talk about things. I thought he was like maybe somewhere on like when it comes to boyfriends, like lower emotional EQ. But turns out when I compare and contrast, he's pretty good, and I'm like, oh, I haven't really good men just don't do that. Why do we like them? And a lot of them can't really provide daring war time either, Like your only thing that you like about them, they'll probably

be like, I don't even know how to fun. They are strong, and they they do have muscles that make you feel protected, and they're hot. I mean, like I'm physically attracted, and they've got those penises that feel good. I don't know what it is, I really it boggles my mind. But like I mean that, I just don't understand why women aren't more lesbians more often, but I think they are. I think this is a common thing that happens is once women divorced later in life, they're like, well,

I don't really want that much dick. My vagina is like about to fall off anyway. Why don't I just hook up with a woman who we can just hang out? I think about that with women, like why do you guys like women sometimes? Because it's like you don't you don't want you don't know what a tag is? Why do I want to talk deep? But I think we have like wet plusy because in war time we could give up your body so we could live, I don't know, because we could have a baby, an you guys, let's

make it more be it's wild. We figured it out though. Thanks for listening to the show. We will see you tomorrow on the show Wednesday, we'll be here. You'll be here. Thank you for listening. Uh, don't be cool and Jack, oh Jack, I wasn't. Oh yeah Jack buck good, that's good. Why it's such a struggle every day