#271 Finding Your Voice w/ Anya Marina

correct you. So I've been looking like a real dumb dumb Um, but so I am Um. This is maybe the third week, or second or third week that I've been Um, not doing the daily podcast. So I appreciate all y'all, all y'all's patients, in not having a daily podcast. You know I miss it so much. You know that. You know this is before this is pre op, as

we've covered last week. Um, so I don't know what my mental state is going to be as I talk right now, but I'm guessing that I've already started finding some way to communicate and put out content on my instagram or on our Social Uh to get, you know, because I'm probably going crazy in my own head, or I've probably completely jeopardized the healing process and started doing daily podcast. That my money is on. You'll be talking by Friday. Andrew Colin is in St Louis. I'm in

Boston awaiting surgery. That will be happening tomorrow. Um, Noah is in New York still, and we have any who is on your marina, who did our theme song and you've heard on the show many times before. My best friend, Singer, songwriter on your marina is visiting us from New York. How is it going? Everyone so good. I can't believe it's the last time we're gonna hear that sweet, sweet voice for a while. This a little correctly crumble voice. Um, yeah, I don't know what I want to do today with it.

I can see why you spell chords with an H, because it it looks and feels like a little raspy, like the age is like card. Yeah, my chords are going to not have an age afterwards. Yeah, I wonder if it will sound like the like. Even no one noticed that in my earlier stand up. My voice does sound a lot different. I will say that there was a there's a lot of clips that are being posted from different like meme accounts and stand up clip accounts of my past stand up. Thank you for putting those

out there. All those people that are doing that without my permission, please keep doing it, because I don't do it. Um, and I really sound like this, like it'll sound like this, but it's also because it's going very fast and they change the frequency of it and they speed it up so that they don't get corporate copyrighted because Um, so

that's what's happening there. So that's why I said, like Monica on season five of friends, where she talked like this and she was always just like Chandler, come on, we need to go here. Like all of a sudden, season five of friends, Chandler's would change and Monica's changed and is really anning. And if you listen back on repeat episodes, you will find that on TBS TV land, I don't even think that's a network anymore. They really speed it up so that they can fit in one

more commercial. So they speed it up slightly and that's why everyone talks a little bit faster. When you hear all of the different reruns of these shows because they speed it up a fraction and in that time they save thirty seconds and they make, you know, half a million dollars or whatever the hell it is in AD sales.

So if you're wondering why shows like Big Bang theory or two and a half men sound really fast, they're fitting in more ads and every like comment is like, you know, I love the material with this bitch's voice sounds like a rat dying, like yeah, it sounds like this. It sounds like I'm waking from crystal season of the Bachelor, which is one of the best impressions I could ever do. But it didn't really work out because I wouldn't be a mom and like n't bad. Jokes aren't bad. Yeah,

they're not. Yeah, it's just like, Um, you know, my mom's alcoholic. I don't like to say she's alcoholic, but it was like she's just a shop about, like sick to buying alcohol. Next joke. Good writing. That's good writing. Um, honestly, yeah, Um, but I was listening to your bit. I was listening to a show from I think eighteen, and I was struck by how different you sound even then. It was the Luigi joke about Luigi going down on you and you being like he wants it, come on, it's told

that joke. So my voice changes when I get turned on and I'm talking about jokes. Say That, Um, yeah, there's a dog, but down on me. That joke was even I go back and go what's going on there? That solid minutes to Matt was dying. He's like this isn't people just can't believe I started banging my special with twenty minutes of a blowjob joke and then I started this last special with, Um, me going down on

my parents. Like it's really weird that my favorite things to talk about are things that I truly have never like you would suspe back to that. I would be someone that was like it was there all along. She was telling us the whole time, kind of thing. Yeah, like, if you look, we were. Chris and I were just talking about someone who, if you go through their history of Army Hammer. Have you guys seen the new Um House of Hammer Document? Yes, I want so, in the

first episode. It's really good. It's really Oh God, listen, that is not no, you didn't watch it yet. On you, you were the one texting me about it. I just saw the trailer I sent you. Oh this is ridiculous. I'm having Julie taken out tomorrow. God damnit. Watched that freaking documentary because I thought you'd seen it. You're texting me. Go on, listen, I saw that because on your text me and she goes, I guess you said I'm watching

the trailer. I've missed that part, but she says I'm watching the House of Hammer thing and these text messages that he sends these girls. I'm thinking Nikki would be so turned on by them because, honestly, you guys, I put on the documentary and I was I had to put down crash bag to sit on because the cat was going to get ruined. I was like, I want you to be holes, I just want you to tie you up, sit there. I'm just going to be tied up in public and have everyone use you and you

have no say in it. Like it was about like just like having our love language. I'm not joking you. I was so turned on. And then it gets to be like I'm Cannibal, I want to cook you, I want to rape you, like it gets progressive very quickly, very um inappropriate, and I mean this guy is an alleged rapist. I mean you the way he you learned about love bombing, you learn about just lying the way he's. It's fascinating because I think it just gives girls and

guys a good perspective on how this happens. How girls kind of see a guy that hits on them in their D M S. he's a family man. He they google him. He has a family and kids. And then how they go kind of like no, well, this, this is weird. He's kind of like hitting on me, but it's not that clear. And then how he then lies and says we've been separated. You know, like how the whole thing works, because I think a lot of times guys, I've heard, and girls who cannot relate to falling for

a man who is married. Who Falling for a man who says I want to bite, I want to bite you, I want to uh. He left some girl a note that she was already in love with him. They had spent hours on the phone together and he leaves. He goes to her apartment creepily when she's not in town and leaves her note that says I'm going to something

with I want to bite you in half. Or something like that, and when, in the context of all of this, this is the first time he's shown that kind of side, she's just like, oh, he wants to devour me, he wants you know, US watching are like, what the funk? These girls are so fucked up. Please, when you watch this, be with an open mind of like you don't know what it's like, you don't know these girls experience coming

into these relationships. This like kind of judgment I think that they get from a going for a guy who clearly is married and might be lying about that, but even so they like leave your judgment at home and really, Um, I was Um. I got a d m once from from someone who, uh, mentioned rope bondage and who was a famous person that I was like, Oh my God, is this person? Like I saw a blue check mark.

I'm like, is this one of those fake blue check marks where they like do an Emoji in their name, you know, like there's that Emoji that looks blue and can kind of trick yes, yes, you were using it for years and so you gotta. BRENNA is blind. Just turned up phone in, but I remember getting a d m from someone very famous and going, Oh my God, like, I know who this is. This can't be the real person. It is probably just the fake name and a fake emoji.

And then I looked into it has millions of followers and then I was like, Oh my God, this is the person. And they were talking suggestively about, Um, sexual stuff, but not not saying they want to do anything with me, Um, but just putting it out there. And I knew that I could pick up that rope and have them tie me up with it if I wanted to. But, Um, I did it because a little bit older and knew that I don't want to get involved with a person with but you hate home depot. Well, he brings these

girls to hardware stores. Yes, it's so. He was talking to this one girl for a while and she is, you know, he just met her at a bar in Dallas, I think he was visiting, and she's just a business owner in Dallas, sweet girl, and she meets some of this bar they hit it off. They start talking on the phone for hours and hours. Finally, you know, he separated from his wife. It's like announced in the papers and everything, and then she goes to l a to

visit and he convinced. It convinces her to go to palm springs with him and they go up there and they go, you know, after a couple of nights it's just it's heaven. She's like he's all over me, he's so attentive, he's so loving, he's so like Lovey Dovey, like hand on my lap, like leg constantly, like holding my hand, like all these things. When you're a woman watching this, going like yeah, I would be I would do anything. This famous hot guy is showing me all

this attention. I'm just a business owner from Dallas. I'm like, how is this celebrity scooping me up out of nowhere, this guy that has Oscar buzz from call me by your name, like he's successful, he's handsome, he's rich, he's all these things. He's a good father, seemingly Um. And then they go to the hardware store and like the third day and she's like he's talked about rope bondage and she's just like not into it, but he she

knows it's like something key's really into. And you know, we all kind of make you know, uh, what's Open minded and game? Yeah, Gi uh, what is it? U Game? Uh. Yeah, what's his name? Dan? Savage. Dan Savage coined it. It's G G G U giving. I forget it. You know. Well, you do Google Gigi against Dan savage, because it is a good little acronym that Anya and I are both really strange. Giving game and it's probably gastro intestinal are not working that day when I come. It's good giving. Wait,

what is it? Good giving and game, good giving and game. Yeah, like they you just want to be Gig and so or Gidd you would. It looks like her, because she just looks like she's good giving and game and Um and having g forces applied to her face in the opposite direction. So they go to the hardware store and she's kind of just like God, I don't want to do this, but I'll do it, you know, and they're out of rope and she's like yeah, like she's slad.

So he's been there before. Again, army, but like you only have so much rope, like a spring. What are you making out? Oh my God, put in the deck. You know, the deck is almost ready. Yeah, they're like rope for the deck. Really do you? He's like, Oh, just the pulleys and the levers. You know, there's lots of that I'm doing an ancient style, a lot of pulleys and Um, do you know how that? You know that the Egyptians to the Pyramids and they're like no,

we don't. That's still a mystery. He's like, well, we're doing well. So is this? Ninety women and then you and use them as weight to pull up a rock to make my new house. I am not wanting to make jokes about the documentary because it is grizzly. And then the second episode gets into it's episodic yeah, three, I believe, and Jen, my assistant, has watched, Um, the

last two. I watched one and two, Um, and it just gets into his family and how this kind of you know, abuse of women and uh, like it's it's generational and it's passed down and it's like they kind of showed how to treat women and Um. But he is a monster and I just want everyone listening. If you aren't gonna Watch the documentary, please do not partake in army hammer jokes about him being a cannibal and how,

ha ha, he's gonna eat you. This is so far beyond that and people need to know that this man allegedly raped his ex girlfriend Um tied her up. Uh, this woman he was seeing for a while tied her

up one night. She didn't want to do it, but she was kind of like, okay, he pretty much what they discover is that he, he, uh, dates these women who don't really understand B D S M culture, and neither does he, because he uses B D s m as an excuse to get away with really abusing these women and having it be like well, that's what it is.

Is Like I get off on you crying and telling me to stop, and then I essentially keep going, and that's that's my kink, that's my thing and that's B D s m. Last night was so amazing and she goes it wasn't. I was crying and I did not like a nyames like you crawling away from me, crying on the ground made me feel so powerful. You saying no, I want to like and so so about rape. It's

not about cannibalism. That is just that is so what he would want this narrative to beasts because he has an excuse of like I was just saying fantasy things, as we're just text. This is about rape and if you look into it, it is. Don't just please don't, if people are making Army Hammer Cannibal jokes, ruin the mood of the dinner that you're at by saying, do

you know he actually raped his girlfriends? And because that's what I've been doing for years now, Um, because it's just such a joke, I think that sometimes these things can turn into joke. It doesn't hit people. Yea, even though he admitted to cutting a deer's heart out and eating it's Um heart. It's beating heart, like warm from its body and that's how much he loves flesh and he is of Cannibal's. He says he's never admitted to anyone. Let me just say you can say all these things

in a text. You can lie, you can say that maybe is a fantasy of yours. If you do it, it's a different thing, um. And I don't see any difference between cutting a deer's heart out and eating it and eating animals. So that, to me, doesn't really bother me. But what I'm saying is that he really does have these tendencies, I believe, to eat people and want to like and he he used to bite these girls. There's

bite marks everywhere. He thought it was like a sign of like, I love you so much and you're wearing and these girls even convince themselves like he wants to mark me because I'm his. But then you know this one girl he's dating, all of a sudden she sees in the tabloids that he's on a date with rumor Willis, and he's got his arm around her in a way

and she goes. I zoomed in on his hand on her, like you know, hip, and it was just the way he touches me and it was just, I mean that to me was just so devastating too, to see on like Perez Hilton, the guy that you're in love with, like doing the same things with someone else. It must be devastating. Anyway. Do you recommend this documentary? Yes, I do.

I do because I want people to. I will say that there's one victim, effie, who was the original one that that started putting out Um screenshots of their D M s. This is the one that Um later hired Gloria all read and accused him of rape and Um all these things, and she later showed her face. At first she was all anonymous. Through Gloria alread, she was Jane Doe and then she came out as herself and

was on tape and it's very brave and Um. She has said, though, that the documentary Um seems to be, I don't know, these are her words, glamorizing what happened, making it, sensationalizing it, and she's saying that the producers of the documentary essentially are doing the same thing that army did to her. Of like when she says no, they kept going. So I will say maybe look into that before you watch it, but just do a little bit more digging on this guy than he come out

and apologize. It's like a full on a you know what, Andrew, do you remember that whole story about him working as a a time share manager down there? No, not when we were down there. So we were in the Cayman Islands and Army Hammer was there, and this was before. He's from there or his family moved there because they're super rich and that's where you go when you want to hide money. Um. So he grew up there a lot. He was, I think, born in L A, but Um,

he so. I think like probably four months ago or less than that, it came out that he was selling time share, time shares and it's true. He really was. At first it came out it was a fake store. It came out everyone was like he's selling timeshare, that's so weird, and then it was like that's a fake story, and then someone was like no, it's it's actually real. He was selling time shares. He's been cut out of

the family fortune. He can't get acting jobs anymore and he he was selling time shares and he was selling time shares at the resort that we stayed at, the Morit's. It came in, which is if you've been there, it is not a luxury place. It's really kind of the there was that in my ad that's how shitty it was. Um. But anyway, don't go parasailing with him the rope. Actually,

you can trust him. He knows how to work a rope. Um. Anyway, I wanted to say before we go to break that I really would love everyone to check out a song that I've talked about on the podcast before by the natural lines, which is on his boyfriend, Matt Um Pond.

He is my tour manager and he is on his fiance, sorry, not boyfriend, fiance, and he has a new song out and I really respect Matt for doing what he did, which is he went from being Matt Pond P A, which was his band name or his like name, his band name, and he went from that to the natural lines. And what was this decision to shift into a completely different Um? Like it reminds me of what I'm trying

in terms of like completely rebranding. I think he had been toying with the idea and then he got signed by his dream record label. Simon Raymond from the Cocteau twins has a label and he has like our father, John Misty and beach house and all these amazing bands and they're based in the UK and he floated the idea to Matt about changing the name and Matt was like, I've kind of always toyed with it, but really, do you think? And so the label was fully on board.

So then they went with it. But it is so scary to completely change. Scary. He's already like I've lost followers. I don't think people know that, like I changed my and they're like who is this guy? All this it is such a risk. It's like, can you imagine just starting over? What would your name? But that's just why I went over that's like they go from a band name to them their own name. It's not usually the

other way around. I remember Dave Matthews saying he regretted making that decision as a young man to go with D also matt was like, I don't not just about me, it's like all these other people I collaborate with. So it feels correct to make it a brand. Well, the natural lines is a new band. Please over compensate for the lack of the followers he has now, because people just thought all of a sudden they got a new you know, soon as you just start following someone, you're like,

how did this happen? Like you to record? Get on my phone. Yes, so, Um, yes, exactly. So follow the natural lines. The new song, the problem is me is so freaking good. I cannot stop singing it. I sing it all the time. I'm obsessed with it. I love it so much. I hope everyone listens to it. If it might not be for you, but at least give it a listen and I bet it will be called the problem is me by the natural lines. I would

really love you to support him. He is just such a good musician and has helped me a lot Um musically along with Anya, but like it is, we'll go to break now. But I do want to talk about Um with Anya a little bit, about what it's like to like figure out when you're an artist. Even Andrew too, like you, struggled also it with your identity as an artist when you started out, and we'll talk a little bit about that when we get back with on your marina P A. we're back. It is our weekly episode

while I'm recovering from vocal chord surgery. Um, we talked about on his boyfriend rebranding, like twenty years into his career maybe more right. I mean, this is a huge deal. This isn't just like a person and he's take he's doing a band on the side, like Ziggy. Start us, like I'm just gonna this is a dramatic shift. Matt Pon Pier is no longer. He is now the natural lines.

When you were coming up on one of my favorite stories about you finding your voice because you were in your car trying to figure out, like what do I sound like? Remember that? Yeah, I was listening to Liz Fair's record exile and Guy Ville and I had a little tape recorder, like those little handheld things and I was just like, I want to be a singer. I had just seen Liz fair perform live with jewel opening

the show. Jewel was an unknown and jewel was so funny and telling all these stories and playing songs all alone on stage, captivating a sold out crowd in San Francisco at the Warfield, and I was like I want to do that, like this is what I want to do, but I don't have a voice like Juel who was like the Adele of the time. And you written a song before? Did you play guitar? At this point I had written like little song sketches, kind of like little you know, like one minute long things, or like a

little but not really. I was just in my car singing into this recorder because Liz phair had a very imperfect voice at the time and I was like that's probably what I want to sound like more. It's kind of like a Nana da Dunna, like it's kind of like she kind of sounds like she's got in attitude

all the time. I thought it, but I wanted like someone talking like if I'm talking like this and then I want to break into a song, I don't want to sound completely different, you know, like I want to sound like I have heard all over the that's how she sounds. It's like, yes, not too far from talking voice. So I was like, I want to be that, I don't want to yeah. So then I was just playing around and man, that tape is probably filled with so

much embarrassing stuff. I just was like doing a head voice, and then I chast voice and then finally I hit something. I'm like that, that that, that's it, like somewhere and keep honing that. And I don't know what it was, but it's probably similar to what I am my singing voices. All I talk about with my vocal coaches, like what, she's going to really help me? The one that discovered the notes on my throat and had this whole thing. This all happened my friend Amy. She Um, she's gonna

help me find that voice, because it is. I've been doing a new bid on stage and I kind of

want help with it. But it's about how I don't think people realize, Um, if they're not singers or not attempting to be, like you don't just it's rare that you just start singing and that like that's the way your voice sounds, and that's the way it's, I mean odd way, has a certain like if you're singing like this, like very articulate and everything's like this, and then there's like I got up in the morning and like yeah, you can get and I put on my Ping Wig

and I said hello to the birds outside and then I started to sing, like so there's sad and then, like you're saying, there's like the head voice of like if I'm singing up like singing up here is like a like a falsetto, like in your nose, and then there's like down here. I mean when you choose your voice, it doesn't just come out of your head. Sometimes it does. So I was trying to think of a bit about Um and I did it. I think I tried it.

Maybe I didn't try it in Vegas, but about Um Neil Young, I'm like I want us all to like I just want to bring up Neil young and be like, you know, for instance, Neil Young, like I don't think you always give a lot of thought to like how much goes into a singing voice and how weird singing can be. Cause Neil Young is like he was just like a rock or and he talks like this man. I mean, if you've ever heard Neil Young, he's kind of like has a ponytail, is just like a dude.

And the first time Neil young sat his friends down and was like, guys, I have like a song. Do you guys want to hear? And they're like, Neil, fucking yes, you've been playing guitar, you rock out, you have so much passion about like the Vietnam War. Let's hear it, Dude, let's fucking rock, and he's like here it goes. Well, I went into a metal crying and I thought about the bees and they were like is that's the old woman in the shoe? Why do you sound like what

Susan Boyle sounds like. What's going Neil Young? That voice. I remember the first time I heard Neil Young's voice. It was just in my parents car. I did not know it was a man. And then when I matching it, you go it's but you don't question it because you grow up with Neil Young, you don't question that. That had to have been jarring to sing like this and wine, cause I'm dreaming up like that's not a marketing the free world. He doesn't do some rock voice, doesn't he?

I don't know, I don't know him well enough, but think about I'm singing as singers that just had to come out. I mean, I've talked about Bob Dylan before, like singing like this, and I mean he kind of talks like that. To Eddie vetter does like talk like this,

and Dave Matthew sounds like he sings. But a lot of people you gotta like make uh like even then when halls these things like this, and she's a little baby and she's looking like this, like she had to decide to sing like a little bit of like a little bitby with big old lips in the beginning. Everyone, at some point. We can talk about Selena Gramez on, only murders in the building because she passed. Talk like

this and this is her speaking verse. But you're like a little bit more like like, like yours is almost like too high, because that's almost like that kind of that's the same. Andrew, to lose you to love me, but it doesn't matter how good it is. Like there's millions of singers that just sound it's perfect and no one gives a fuck. Well, it's not about like everyone

pretty much sounds pitch perfect. I'm saying, like they're singers that sound like no matter what you sing like, you have to make a choice, whether the choice is not to make a choice, you know, like if I'm just singing like the way I talked, like sometimes when I would be in my voice lesson and an yea, I'm

sure I'm just like repeating things. You should be talking about this more than me, but because I'm getting into the logistics of it, sometimes I would be singing a line like Um um, I'm trying to think, oh, like she's so lucky, she's a star, but she cries and cries in her lonely heart, thinking and I would be like okay. Well, my voice teacher would go, hold on, we're just getting away from it now, because you're just singing it and you're just repeating the way you've heard

it your whole life. Britney spear singing it. She was like what if you just say that those words and I'm like she's so lucky, she's a star, but she cries and cries in her lonely heart, and she goes okay, now sing it like that like that is a good practice of like and then you go she's so lucky, she is a star, but she cries and cries and

like and then it brings out this emotion. Sometimes you gotta take the lyrics because the lyrics get separated from what you're really trying to say, especially if it's a song that you've only heard sung. Um. I found that that was an interesting technique, but I'm really excited to figure out because my voice can and so can yours. On you, I mean your impressions are uncanny. I feel like you can do so many different you could have chosen so many different singing styles in terms of how

your voices I wish I could. I wish I had more constructions. Cannot belt stuff out like Nikki can imitate anybody singing. Wise, I cannot. My My my dentist once told me I have the larynx of an eight year old boy, and he knew that because this circumference of his tick. It's like, what do you mean? It's very specific, you know odd. But he said my larynx is particularly small, which kind of made me feel better, because I've struggled

with like I cannot belt out a song. I don't have a lot of control, which is why voice lessons helped me and I learned how. I learned a trick for belting that I'd never heard from all my voice teachers before, and I've been to four prior to this amy girl, who has changed my life, and she said when you belt, instead of trying to put all the air behind it and push it out with air, hold your breath as you're belting, which sounds crazy, but it

actually worked, because I was working on this one. You know the Song August that we always play, that's like the bridge. Is like back when we were changing for the better, wanting was enough and to live for the hope of it all. Cancel plans, just in case you called, just meet me behind them all. So much for some of love saying us, because you weren't that mind to lose. I always struggled with the mine to loose because I

was trying to put the breath behind it. But then she goes, just notice, hold your breath and still say it, and it worked. So I want to try that out, but I it blew my mind because my past voice teacher, who was an operatic voice coach, who was so experienced, so Um, you know, recommended. She was like you always Breath Dump Nicky, which is like, before I would say a line, I would just go like I would like Um so much for say in love and say and then I would I would breathe it out before I

would start saying the word. And she was like no, you need to breath the breath, to push it with your breath, and then this other coach. I go wait, I'm supposed to hold my breath. So it just helped.

I don't know if any people out there, if you want to try to hit notes in your car, just try to hold your breath and sing it and not let the air out, but I am just like even we're talking about this last week with Andrew about Um when he first started, when you're a comedian, finding your voice and like how you feel ridiculous because you don't have jokes yet. Really you don't know what you're doing.

You're kind of throwing things out there. You have to like put out so much bad stuff to find the good. You gotta sound bad first to find the good and to find what works. You gotta like to find what works. It's so rare that someone just gets it the first time.

Like you're gonna have to sound kind of ridiculous. Andrews started out with a character, Andy shallows, that would just do one liners and he had a wookie playing slide guitar and behind him to just like and what a what a leap that was to start that way before anything else. Yeah, I started that it. I don't know. I think I was so scared to just be myself up there that it gave me it was a security blanket and I also had all these like one liners written. So it was like I didn't want to just I

don't know. And I saw Zach Galvinakis purple on you and he did to the piano and I couldn't play piano, I couldn't play guitar. But my friend addressed like a wookie normally. Uh, not even as a joke. He would just well guests for no one else. He would wear it around town. So I was like maybe he'd want

to do it for a reason. It's so smart, and so I was because it's yeah, it was unbelievable, like it really was a spectacle to watch and people lost their minds seeing this wookie and he was like seven feet. I put big shoes on him. He was in leader Hosen and I didn't make a joke about it. I didn't make a joke about it. was there part of it? Because for me, I feel like I would do that, because if someone didn't like it, I'd go they didn't like the wookie. It wasn't me. was there part of it?

was that a part of it for you? Were you just trying to do something that was like so funny in multiple ways that there was no way to fail? I guess it was a little bit of both. There was something pretty punk rock about doing something so different. Like I was on the lineup and it would be like like a bringer, yeah, and everyone's like yeah, what what do you do there? Like A he's getting dressed and I'm like yeah, that's my wookie. They're like wait,

what's happening? And then every everyone lost it. Like people loved it, like the owner the Improv loved it, and if I was if there was a moment though, well, the wookie got a girlfriend and it broke the band up because he chose her over me. We were doing uh, open open mics in Florida for like three people in

front of a fish tank and he's dressed. He's sweating like crazy in the wookie cost for four people like a lot to going too for a little open mic, and especially when you're starting out in Florida, all the shows you the wookie costume and I pay him with compliments that he couldn't hear because of a mask. Of course he didn't, but because Andrew wasn't gtting paid, I don't think. But so it was. He was in it for the love and that's why he got out of it.

But it's interesting because you did listen, like going into it. Anya, you were inspired by Liz Fair. That's what got you going like okay, I like that way what she's doing. Andrew, you watch purple onion UHACK, because and you're like, okay, one liners. That's it, the music thing. That's it. Also, you picked Um, you know, Jack Handy, deep thoughts, and that's what led you to like, Oh, these aren't deep thoughts, these are shallow thoughts, andy, shallow like we're all inspired

by other artists, like I always say. You know, I am talking right now with my hands like this, because I imitated Sarah Silverman early on, like I do Jennif Ranis and things of like. Oh, no, like because I but that's just become who I am because it's what you pick up. My voice is Husky because my mom. It isn't because of the shape of my chords, it's not because of the damage, it's because it's almost like an accent that you have. I grew up with a mom who I admired, who had a gravelly voice, and

so I mimicked it. So you pick up on the things you love and then you can't help but as you grow become yourself and find out what works. And then, but in comedy, and I know you've heard this a million times, it takes, what would they always say, ten

years to find your voice. You heard that right, Andrew. Yeah, and I remember Tom Sigura, who is whatever, a friend of mine, who I asked before I really started doing he goes, it's gonna take you ten years to just be yourself on stage and I was like what, Dude, and like I was. And now it's like never more than ever, like I am about eleven or twelve years in. The problem I have now is not doing jokes or like telling a story and not like like doing but

that's you, dude, but that's what I'm saying. Like you found it, like you tell stories, I love that you're leaning into longer form storytelling, not just joke, joke, joke, because you're capable of it. You've proven that. It did ten years of doing that and now you're always been a story guy. That's always been what you've gravitated towards. You collect stories. Your life is just a story magnet. The amount of stories you have is insane. That's why

I have a segment called Andrew's short story circle segment. Um. So I like that you. I want like not that this is the vice, that uh, this is a top we can talk about this off camera or you know, but like I feel like this is who you are. Like you, someone will look at you someday and be like, Oh, I want to tell stories that have such great jokes within that. So like and your stories are already all worked out, like and they're interesting enough that they don't

need to have joke. You know, like kind of laugh you get. So it's it's a little tough with the last because they still hit. But you know when you do a joke that it's rolling. You feel like you catch a wave. Yeah, and yeah, it's a different kind of wave. And my only thing is, like sometimes you get lazy within the story, because you've told the same story millions of times, so you already know how this story plays in your head. So to add a tag or to add a left turn or whatever to a

story you've already told is a little difficult. So you have to kind of almost step away. No, you, you're gonna be great at that, because you're gonna get bored with these stories and it's gonna Happen Naturally. Like I feel like you don't even have to try to remember a tag you wrote, just like Oh, yeah, no, I agree. I agree with that. I agree with that. I'm excited to see this one, just like I've never understood it

until I did it. And Yeah, you just one, you have to fill the time and two, you just have to be comfortable in like whatever, not have crushing the whole time and I don't know, and just having enough space. Like when I would open for you, it would be like if I do a seven minute story of a ten minute said that, and I would play so much fucking fear in that, I mean, because if you go

into it, you cannot bail. And then you were in a seven minutes and then, which I did with you still and it's like your crowds are incredible and it definitely helped a millionfold. But UH yeah, well, they are were. I mean you're funny and so it just and you can tell whatever story and they have and they're so interesting and weird like your stories are. Just I'm almost jealous of how much you attract like the most amazing stories, but it's not even about you. It's not like, Oh

my God, stories just happened to Andrew. He's so lucky. It's like you worked for that. I was saying to someone recently, Oh my God, this was a funny moment. I was backstage with a comedian and, Um, I was telling them. I was telling him how, you know, we were talking about our relationship in the past and I was like, you know, we weren't that close because I was jealous of you, and that's what people are jealous

of you. He was talking about someone that was kind of weird to him and didn't used to be a go because they're jealous. You got famous, you got successful and they're fucking jealous. And I used to be that way. I used to feel that way. And he goes jealous of me and he starts listening off all these things, like you were jealous of me. Well, let me just tell you what's going on with me. He starts saying all these things about his life currently and I wanted

to go, well, not, not like now. I'm not like the way you are now. No, I don't want to be that. Before I knew you, I wanted to be you. But the funny part was I said, you know, what I realized was like, I'm not, and they go, well, you're, you're just as talented, and I go, Oh, I know. I go, I'm jealous of your work ethic, to be honest with you, like I'm jealous of the way you work, and I know that I work very hard, but I work hard in a way that is really easy for

me to work really hard. I show up, I do sets, I do a lot of podcasts, but the way, and I have talked about this a million times before, sorry to repeat it, but the way in which I feel like is actual work for me that I don't want to do. To me, work is suff you don't want to do and that's hard for you. That's what feels

like work to me. It's writing jokes, it's going over them, it's listening to my sets, all of these things, because I was being followed around by this reporter for the esquire and he was, and I think I said this already before on the podcast too, but he's like talking to us, me, Kurt Metzker and Um Jessel Nick, maybe backstage, and he was talking about do you guys you know you listen to your set afterwards? and Kurt's like it changed my life listening to my sat could you listen

to your set? And I go, I record them all, but no, I've never I don't do that. It's excruciating and he's like you got it, and I go, of course I know that. I go and John the McDermott, who's interviewing me, he's like why don't you? And I go because I don't. It's hard and I don't like listening to myself. And I go, I know I would be such a better comic if I did it, and he goes, but what? So you're leaving them on and I'm like, I'm successful enough. I know it could be more,

but this is fine. At some point you go it's too uncomfortable and I'm happy with not doing that in order to just, you know, not do that. But what I said to this person was, and I think it's the first time I've ever told someone who is extremely successful that I said, I we are, we are just as talented. You just work harder, like your talent is. There's nothing different about you and I, which is true

for everyone. The thing about that the difference between you and Beyonce, and I'm talking to you, listener, and beyonce or you at anyone that you go wow, they are just there are certain people that, yes, Jamie Fox, I think on say there are people that are born with like just talent in their bones, but it is hours of work. The Jackson five did not have a childhood.

All they did was singing, dance and practice. Our more hours a day than your dad worked in the whole mind like they they never they didn't have a life. So the difference between you and the most talented person is always, the time, going to be that they worked harder. So when I told this person, I go, Oh, I'm not jealous of like, I know we have the same brain, capable of the same things. I'm I'm a genius, just

like you are. comedically, you just work in a you're just a harder worker and they seem to be offended, which I understand, because everyone wants to think that talent is like them, I'm special. And the truth is, even if it was special, you didn't choose your brain. You didn't.

You just got lucky that you got it. But people want to feel like, no, I'm smarter, I'm different, and yes, of course there's different styles, but really it was just interesting to see this person's face fall kind of when I go oh, no, no, no, I'm not jealous of like your talent, like we're just equally. Our brains are equally capable of the same comedic genius, for sure, and I was even giving them a compliment, because I think

I'm pretty good at comedy. I was saying, Oh, we're equal, you just work, you work harder than me, and so you're going to be more successful and you're going to be better and I could just see them being a little bit insulted because, and I realized at the time I would be too, for the truth is it's the truth. Any thoughts on that? Well, I was thinking about like, granted, I'm literally one headlining set into headlining, so it's like so ridiculous to even talk about, but it doesn't make

as a headliner, are you? But as a headliner, as being a headliner, uh, when you would do five in a weekend, talking about doing the work and and doing the time, like there is no way to other than if you fold in every fucking show, then to get better. So you were doing like when you were tired on Sunday.

I kind of understood it, but didn't really like I did and I and then I was like, Oh my God, this is the most draining thing on earth and it is doing the work and just doing like, well, I don't record myself, I don't listen to all that whatever for show work. So I don't know. So, like I learned a lot that work. Huh, you do get paid and you get paid for even the sets I do

that I don't get paid for. That's worked too. But for me showing up and doing a set is not as much work as me sitting at a computer and writing out a joke. So that's what I mean. But I agree. But I'm just saying like that five hours, like that's a lot and and no, but I was getting to the point of, like you know, when you're like, Oh, you know, stand up, like you know, I get off

stage time, they were laughing so hard. I did one hour one time and I was like all right, I'm I'm good for a while, like I don't need this draw. And then you did it for sixteen years, five shows a weekend. Granted, it's going to get you sharp, but you're also going to have a loathing for it in a way, like it's over like that. Let's the show's over, let's go home. I don't need to like, like we don't need to go celebrate this set and keep the

party going. It's a little like is that all there is? Yeah, we're just like, you know, I'm done with my shift. It's not like the first day on the job kind of thing, where it's like sometimes you work at a job and you're like, Oh my God, this is awesome, it's new, I'm having fun of meeting all these New

People and you have that energy. But, Um, I just think it's important for myself, I think, more than anything, to realize that, and I talked about this a million times, if you're feeling bad about yourself, comparing yourself to someone, the difference between you looking a certain way that you want to look, between you being successful in your career in a certain way. A lot of times it is. It's just luck, as it as it always really is when it comes down to it. But it's not because

you're like stupider or less talented. It's just the way in which work and your stamina and you might you do have the talent in you, you just might not have the stamina, and that's a little bit easier of a pill to swallow for me on any of this personating with you in terms of it makes me think about I took this acting program once and Richard Dreyfus was one of the teachers and he said success is talent plus ambition, and some people have a lot of talent and not a lot of ambition and they won't

be as successful. Some people have a ship ton of ambition not that much talent they'll be successful. But you know, all of us know someone mediocre WHO's incredibly famous. They don't have a lot of talent but they have a ton of drive, you know, for someone who is so talented and you go how are they not the most famous person alive writing the most incredible songs, but they don't want to get a manager or an agent or you know, they don't want to like be on Tiktok

all day. I get it, like the music business has changed so much you can't stand being online and doing the thing like this is part of being famous now, like people don't really listen to full songs. That often our full albums, like they wanted to video. It's like, do I want to do that? I don't know. Well, Anya,

I was thinking like I've been. It's been so nice because on our girls chat on you has been sharing she joined a songwriting group, which I know you were like a little even reluctant to do, which would be such an interesting thing to do. A joke writing group where like you get a subject, so tell us about this joke riding Song loves to join a joke riding group too. Um, just as like not do it. Honestly, that would be so fun. I should get a group together people, because we would all have to write a

joke about one subject. So tell us how it works. And I've been and there's amazing people in this group. Yeah, Bob Schneider out of Austin, Texas is an incredible singer Songwriter. Started decades ago. I first joined like twenty years ago, and I've written like half of my records are because of that group. So every day, every Friday, you get an assignment and the raises, let's say, like, you know,

calendar boy. I just invented that. So you have to put calendar boy in a song and it's due Tuesday. So you have like four or five days, whatever, four days to write calendar boy, you know. And so we had one last week. The assignment was DIS irregardlessly, which is obviously not a word this. This is it was and that's the song I wrote. It was an ear. You wrote a song called rape. And so she's been

sharing these songs before she joined this group. Again, she was like, I kind of don't want to because, like, I feel like it's gonna be bad and I'm not going to have it in on time, and there's other people in this group and like everyone hears it and I haven't written in years. I'm like, you lost it, maybe I lost it song. Yeah, it is so nobody there's no feedback. Oh my God, it's so we are saying.

There's no feedback, though, like no one will. People can say a great job, but it's sort of almost encouraged. There's never been any rules, but no one will write back usually and be like that's amazing. It's just like you just turn it in, and Bob's whole philosophy is just do the song. WHO gives a ship if it's a Shitty Song? Just get it done. That's and you get kicked out of the group if you don't turn a song in. The rule is don't be afraid to

sound bad. Just get it done, because something bad is going to teach you something that's going to lead to something good, rather than doing nothing because you're scared of being bad. We gotta go to break. I wish we could hear the rabbi song because it has been in my head, but it's so good and it feels like you did get your Mojo back. It's embarrassing. Maybe we'll listen to it as we go to break. Right now. This is a rap, a a little bit of a rap from on your Marina say Oh, then you open

up your mouth. The rabbi, Rabbi Erape, Brabby, Rabbi Rabbi Ere Ray. Can't on hear these here rapes. No killor COF or billy kill left it hereiccorlessly. I can't stand somewhere to all. I can stand them big and small, phone themselves along the way. Sometimes I was yesterday the Rabbi Rabbi Ere, Rabbi Rabbi e Rabby yere rape. Count on me hear these right. Okay, good, good, alright, we're back. Let's get to it. We've got a lot to get through and we not have a lot of time because

I talked too much. Let's get to fan tracks. It's time for fan tracks. These are your voicemails from our fans. We love to hear it. Let's get to it, all right. Let's start off with a voicemail from Benji. Hey, Nicki Andrew Noah, love the pod. Bestie here from New York.

I just feel like Nikki would love this story. But me and a friend went out last night to go to this random bar and when we got there, they were like, are you two here for the Taylor Swift party that's happening downstairs, and we were like, Um, we had absolutely no idea that that was a thing, but yes, we are a hundred percent here, um, and we just danced for three hours in a room full of swift ease to all of her best songs. I mean all of her songs are her best songs, but it was

maybe the best end of my life. Um, and I felt like Nikki would totally love the idea of just dancing with a room Phill of swifties. Um, I've but apparently they do it like every two to New York. So if you're ever around it, you should totally go check it out. It is totally a vibe. Benji, thank you so much. Um, I have been to one of these and they happened everywhere. Yeah, which one in Philadelphia? Um, there's one coming up in St Louis. I'm going to go to the last one to turn into a super

spreader event, but this one. Um. But they happen everywhere if you're swifty, and they actually are happening with all types of music. So if you're a fan of a certain band that has a big following, chances are there will be like a sing along thing to go to. It is so it's like it's the closest you can get to going to a concert because, first of all, concerts everyone sings along anyway, so you don't even here

the artist. It is so fun and it reminded me of like maybe that's something I can go to during my vocal rest, as long as I do not sing or because sometimes when I think I'm not singing and I'm just like like mouthing, it does come out, but man it is I love a stumble on something great. You know. Has that happens in New York more than anywhere?

You just stumble and you're like, oh, I remember I stumbled and Blues Traveler was playing the guy from blues traveler with the bases from fish in like a little bar and I was like, Oh, look at this Tuesday night. What's that guy's name again? Yeah, Harmonica Vest Yeah, yeah, I don't know, but like that. You know, have you ever stumbled and stumbled into something so awesome? Um, comedian's birthday parties, Gonahea, was that the same party? It's a

comedian named Gonaia Gat. Yeah, Um, no, I'm sure I've stumbled. I mean literally, I've stumbled a lot, but nothing, never, nothing ever comes to nothing comes to mind. Now. I'm sure there's one that I'm just going to think of in one hour and be like Oh, that was the best stumble. Um. But this is a stumble in and of itself. Let's get to the next fan T rex. Okay,

here's a mispronunciation from Mary II, Nikki, Andrew. Noah, this is Mary from Kansas City and I am calling in with a mispronunciation and it's actually from Wednesday's episode, and I hope I don't sound like a Brat for pointing

this out. Then be the first, but I laughed out loud every single time I heard Andrews say ocular implant and he was so consistent and there was no question in his voice and I just kept picturing people having eyeballs implanted or transplanted Um instead of probably what he meant was cochlear implant clear. Anyway, thank you for the laugh. You always provide the laughs, even if it's unintentional. U Nikki, hope all goes well with your surgery and you have

a great day. Thanky, what's her name again? She's a Mary, Mary and kids city. Um, I'm almost more embarrassed I didn't catch it than Andrew should be that he said it was a lot. I know. I think it's a CO clear. I've always heard it pronounced not cocular but nuclear, a nuclear in song. Yeah, Nuke. Yeah, it's in your robe, my favorite thing. I don't remember when we were talking

about co clear inlants it is so fun. ocular implant. Apparently, Oh my God, no, when Um, my favorite thing is when babies get them and they here for the first time their mom's voice and then they start off. But this is my favorite. This is my impression. I'm good for another. You have to see the Youtube of me doing the impression of a baby with a Cochler and Brent. Okay, so I'm just a baby being like he, baby, he, no, O,

we're here, baby, it's mommy, Mommy's here. They just think they tooltera in such a way and then just stare like but I love the initial turns on. They're like, but Joel, so sweet. Have you ever seen youtubes of Color Blind children? It's one of the biggest things I ever cry. I want my boyfriend to be color blind so bad. So on our wedding day I can get him at it. He can cry at why? Because they see color for the first time. How beautiful the world is.

I get that. But these parents, what are you saving? Like, how much are these glasses? They could have got them. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like people cannot afford that. Andrew, no, no, I know that, or they might not have existed then. How long have they existed for? I'm just saying like exist. But I do think, though, that they are so expensive and like are they how much? Probably I'm guessing around six under bucks, but that's probably close enough. But that

is a lot of money for some people. And I want to just say on Reddit there was this there's a subreddit called thrift store fines and and there's a thing called if someone finds something and they just don't buy it, they say catch and release and they just like show a picture of it and go like it's awesome, but I couldn't buy it. And it was a picture of Bob Saggett. That says you're cool, you're too cool. Love Bob Saggett, not to not to anyone. A great

little frame picture of Bob. Second and it said catch and release and everyone and the thing is like he's dead, get it, this is so cool, like he died, like that's a that's probably not worth something or just, you know, worth something for the fact that it's him. And the guy goes it was five dollars. I don't have the money for that, and it really put things in perspective of like some people don't and everyone just goes it was five dollars. That is worth skipping a meal, whatever

it's like. And the person was like, I'm here to like buy clothing for my children, I'm not buying a framed picture of Bob Saggett on the off chance that the person didn't even know he was dead. and Um, but it was it put in perspective of like you don't get to just you know. I don't know. I was like yesterday going from London to Boston. We were, you know, the the drive to the airport was supposed to be a half hour and it turned into it was a two hour. Two hours to get in traffic

to the airport. I don't understand how you made your flights, because we left it enough time, like we got there an hour before our flight took off and we're able to check bags up to an hour before. I thank God. And it was dead. He throw was dead. But I was thinking, I said to Chris, it's fine because there are flights tomorrow out. I was looking, I could buy them and I go because I have money. But what

the fuck? Your life is so there's no well, well, what if you save up for London and something happens where like you know there was an accident or the weather or something. It's like everyone's just and I used

to feel this way too. Of like I remember I used to have a joke about looking at a box of Tampax pearls and being like, someday, when my ticket comes in, I can have pearls and really feeling that way and I think I can lose perspective sometimes, but I used to think the same thing about those glasses. So I'm not making you feel like a jerk about it, being like why doesn't everyone get them to see color? But six hundred dollars is a your kids. Now I

feel better about myself. Okay, not the good ones. Color it pocular. You Gott you gotta Pay Next Hunder Bucks for Easelor you want to see at the rainbow, you can see gray. What color, if you could eliminate from your life, would you eliminate? If you had one color and like every kind of shade of that color, you have to get rid of. Right, Yellow, oh forsake you on you my special. How are I going to enjoy my er? Jimmy Kimmel, I'm just kidding. I liked it

on your special. I don't know why I love. Just why didn't I say purple? No, no, no, I um purple. I think it's two pinkish and I love the color pink. I would get rid of blue. I think I would get rid of blue, even though the Sky Fuck Blues freewhere. You can't get rid of black and you can't get rid of grey. You can't get rid of Brown. You gotta get rid of like one of the orange. Orange, the sun sunsets. Okay, well, it's okay, we already decide we're getting rid of orange. All right. Next one is

from Emma. Hi, pesties, it's Emma O, G fan here. Got To see you, Nikki and Andrew live in San Francisco this year and meet you guys, so that was really awesome. It was Aeso my birthday, so that was like the best birthday ever, and I corralled my friends to come with me, even how they had never listened, but they all loved it and had a great time.

So that was really fun for me. When Nikky started read it jump last year she said forced Orgasms, but I heard it as forest orgasms, and so me, being intrigued, was like he's having orgasms and forest. That's interesting. So I download reddit and I'm scouring Reddit for this. Come to find out she said forced orgasms. So funny, misunderstanding,

mispronunciation story. I love you guys. Jack, Black Jack, black, but that's so funny because for a while they took down forced orgasms on Reddit and that is my porn go to. If you want to see what I'm into, that's it and it's probably telling you too much. Not Kidding you. If you go to force orgasms right now, and this is this was recorded probably two weeks ago, if you scroll deep enough, you will see up on I just went there the other night. There is a woman tied to a tree in a forest and she

made like a fantasy. She's like I was walking in a hike and this man tied me up and it was just, you know, she's doing a character. But there was a force orgasm, enforced orgasm Um, and it was weird. They forced orgasms disappeared from Reddit for a while. I don't know why. I think the word forced some times in Um Pornhob I don't think they allowed the word forced x videos. I don't think they allowed it. Hamster x hamster or whatever like. There's different porn sites that

will allow the word force Um. So I think they took it down for a while and I was really sad, but now it's back up and it's all consentually forced. So it's cf Um, but it's it is forced orgasms. Is the name of the subreddit that I love very much and that girls are having a lot of time, good times and they're having a lot of force orgasms. That are the woods. Have you ever had tent sex wearing Abercrombie woods? It was on a hill, yes, all right, yeah,

in in Memorial Park. Yeah, totally underwhelming. It's like the equivalent of beach sex or a hot tubs eleven forty, seven PM, but it was late at night. You were in a park. Scary to me. Yeah, it just felt stupid. I'm not what do you do? Gave I gave filatio in a park and like Um, in a city park. US. It was in Los Angeles and like Beverly Hills, I think.

It was just like and we were talking and it was kind of like a fight, you know, Um, and then we made up and then it just started happening and I was like no, we can't, and he was just like, I think you're going to and I was like no, I can't, and and then it was just happening and it was just like it's, it's, it's it's thrilling because you can get arrested very easily and then charged. If it's near a school, you can like be a

labeled a pedophile the rest of your life. Like that's The Times of things that you risk when you do that. So don't do that out there. Um, did you ever have four sex? Not with anyone self in a tree. I was curled up in the by himself and the tree falls. Ever happened? I don't know. I hope you in bigfoot. That's how you met that that that's how you met that fucking guy. That open for you, big foot. Do you know there there are people that believe bigfoot

is reel? I was going to write a joke about it that I this guy was so hot one time and I liked him so much that I truly heard him out about bigfoot being real and started almost believing that's how this guy was. Yeah, I'm not kidding you. I was. When I found out me believed in Bigfoot, I was like, God damn it, why does this guy have to believe in bigfoot like this ruins everything, like I can't marry someone like my fantasy for our life.

And then I got on board with big foot. I was like that's question about any about yeah, I learned a little bit about it. So how old is bigfoot?

Has He had kids? Because at this point bigfoot is not just one big foot, I mean is a spe cheese that is on the human chain, like it's on the chimpanzee monkey chain of like humans that somewhere along the line it's stopped in the it's up in the Pacific northwest, among other places, and they've never been caught because, um, I don't know, Um, it just doesn't fit with thee. I think they were in the audience. They're the biggest motherfucker's I've ever I really remember getting on board with it.

This guy was very convincing and hot and it was just like such an example of how much a hot guy can make you just go yeah, I don't like my sister either and I don't think I want to talk to it, like just like completely abandon who you are. Um, alright, I think make you put a wig on and go do something. Do it anytime. Final, Sool okay, Um, let's let's do two more because I really want to share

this when it's a very vulnerable story from Sophie. Vulnerable. Hello, friends, this is sophie from Sweden with a story about Orgasms, before knowing about orgasm. When listening to Nikki talk about not having orgasms before toys, I got thinking about my first story Yasm. I wasn't like nine or ten. It was somewhere at some kind of daycare type of place, the playground that this place had ropes hanging next to the swings men for climbing, like with knots on them.

I was just hanging on this rope with my legs crossed when I started to feel good, and eventually it happened and I got terrified, though I remember running to the bathroom to check my underwear because it almost felt as if I had pissed my pants, and this eventually led to me using blankets for masturbating. I twirled them up like ropes, and I remember sometimes we had competitions to see who could hang on to a rope the longest, and there I was hanging on a rope having quiet

orgasms in front of everyone. I've been my third dies and this is the first time I talk about this. Thank you for giving me a place to share. I love you all. I love you to ejaculate. I meant. I can not believe how sexy her voice was. I had chilled like my I have still have goose bumps from listening to how a SMR that was. That was a smr, but also sexy. I for I tried to black out how young you were during that story so I could enjoy it in a sexual way. Um, that

was thank you so much for sharing that. I think so many people relate to humping blankets, humping ropes, humping Um, parallel bars, Um, and also not really under understanding each one. Give them equal opportunity. Don't leave one out. What about the uneven bars? Don't forget about you know, they come from a wrong side of town. Um, and a lot of people orgasm when they're hanging, like in grade school, and my best friend in grade school used to hang

the closet with their belt around their neck. Wait, wait, yeah, you know, she was saying she was hanging from a rope and she started. Yeah, like my best friend used to hang on a desk like suspend herself, you know, like like this. You can't understand what I'm saying. What I'm saying. No, like hang yourself from a desk, like what is keeping? Imagine your elbows are on the desk and you lean all your body weight forward and your

legs the nothing. It's just the pressure and it builds up. Yes, well, I actually heard a technique, maybe on Reddit or somewhere, where leaning on things and hanging on them like you're saying, like leaning on a table, like putting all your weight forward and, Um, probably crossing your legs in a really intense way. is also would send you to that kind of place, but with ropes. Felt Great. I would climb a lot of ropes. Yeah, if it was, I would

be up there a while. It's so fascinating. I mean, yeah, it was fantastic. I'll never forget, I mean I've said

it before. I'll never forget Kirsten's front porch, waiting for my parents to come get me and we're just hanging out, like you know, hanging on the bars, like the railing, and there was a little like they're shaped like butt plugs, like the little markers at each end of it, and there was this one and I just like sat on top of it and it kind of hit my asshole a little bit and I remember just being like that feels so good, that there's something wrong with me, like

I can't ever do that again. God is I don't even believe in God, but it felt too good and it's still I'm not kidding you, like I hope this doesn't. It could come back to on me. I'll stand by it. I enjoy that more than the other place, honestly, like it's a different feeling to me, but I am grateful that I have it because I do know what it

feels like to have things in your vagina. It feels amazing and I can definitely, but it was like I knew at a young age where something there was something special about that other place that I was like, oh no, and I don't think at that age, I mean definitely at that age did not think anything would ever happen back there. That could, but I just knew, don't ever do that again. Nikki is wrong. It feels too good and I still feel that way about things that are

a woman now, so it actually turns people on. I was, um, it's very young. I was sitting for my mom to come pick me up at my friend, Christens, and I was up age. So you can enjoy the start, but it's what you wanted to but if you're jerking off to this, it is fun and everything is legal. And so I climbed upon the banister and it increased my vessel and I just say, I was feeling things. It sounds like I'm making fun of her, but honestly I'm

just trying to recreate I guaranteed she's laughing. They okay, yeah, I hope she's not hurt, but it was. I would really hire her to make a SMR things. And if you're not doing that already, it was. I mean, I'm literally feeling like I just wet my pants because of that story from her. I'm not getting you. It really turned me on in some weird way, but it also made me feel safe. I'm confused. Okay, let's get to the last. Okay, last Pan Trax is from Tom, who's

in the UK and he needs some advice. Okay, Tom, hello, Nikki, Andrew and nineteen. I'm from the UK. Can I just say I've been a fan of yours, Nikki, since like I was fifteen, sixteen, which is probably way too young to be listening to what you were saying that I feel like it's helped me a lot. I've literally probably listened to every single podcast you've ever made. But Anyway, I'm in a bit of a dating predicament. So I'm nineteen,

I'm gay. Never really been able to date before because I live in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, but recently, because I've gone to university in a city, I've actually started dating guys, which is nice. I've found this worn guy with like a month in and I fully feel like I love him and it's just going great. I

can see a serious relationship happening here. But there's a big but he's by and only ever had relationships with girls before and his last one lasted years and it was really serious and I just don't know what to think about it. All my friends are telling me to be cautious and be careful because he does say a bit flip floppy and I don't know really what to do. Guys take on it anyway. Thank you. UH, Tom, I'm guessing just because he's British sales like, he spells his

name t h o m so tom Um. First of all, thank you for listening to everything. Of Don makes me feel so good and, Um, you just seem so sweet and I'm so excited that you're in your first relationship. I would say to people who think that bisexual people are more of a threat to your relationship or like becoming monogamous with them than maybe if they were fully gay, fully straight, is that people are like, well, you can't

be a woman for him, so he's gonna need women. Well, you can't be every man for him either, so would he need every other man? So this whole argument that bisexual people are just like cannot be reined in, not one person will ever please them, is completely false and it is something that people project on you because of their own fears. Um. That being said, you are nineteen,

it's your first love. Chances are this ain't it? I hate to say that to you because that is not what anyone wants to hear in their first love, but fucking treat it like it's it. Who Cares? Like? I think take this guy for what he's telling you, like if he's being squirrely, if you're feeling like confused, you know that's the classic thing. If you're confused, he's not that into you. If you're not confused, he is into you. So if you're feeling that. But, Um, I think voicing

these kind of concerns to him would be good. I'm not sure if you're concerned is that he's bisexual or that he's just kind of a little bit squirrely anyway, Um, and I wonder if he's out to everyone in his life as a bisexual or if he's a man who's experimenting with his bisexuality and you're maybe the first, which could be tricky. But I'm so excited for you. Um, this is just the beginning of a lifetime of falling in love, maybe with this guy over and over, maybe with,

you know, other people. But Um, I don't think you should shy away from dating by sexual men. I don't think it is a red flag on any thoughts. No, I think that's great advice. The only thing is, you know, when my friends are all telling me to be careful, I want to listen to that because I'm when I'm in love I tend to you know, it's destabilizing, it's exciting, but I'm trying to listen to my friends more and more. So that might be something to look out for. But

all everything that he said is right on. Go for it, Andrew. No, uh, I think you should dump them move on with your life. You're in a city now, you don't have to be a farmer boy anymore. No, I think people find out bisexual, they're like, oh, he's gonna, he's gonna need that other thing that you can't give them, and it's just not true. I love the I love the the point out of like, yeah, there's also a million other guys that he could have but he chose to you, like it makes perfect sense.

And Yeah, he sounds like an amazing human being who's like just like figuring out the city and he like grew up, like, you know, in the middle of nowhere, and so so you put so much pressure on it too. So don't put too much pressure on it. You could love them all you want, but just don't. Don't be

easy on your on yourself in the relationship, like it's hard. Yeah, and it's hard, though, like I never want to tell people in their twenties or teens like this isn't gonna list forever, like, because it probably isn't, like statistically, it just doesn't usually work that way, and you don't want

to hear that. I don't want to hear that. Even when I was thirty five with guys that I knew would not be and my friends would be like this is fun for now, and I'd be like, how dare you, but just just be in the moment, because who knows, the world could end tomorrow and this would be your only guy, so just have fun. But Um, I think honesty, Ni I love it. Like, Nikki, you're dating guy, but he also loves himself too much. It's not like other ways.

He also loves women too. It's like, no, he's he's what. What? I don't understand what you're saying. Like the idea of like, Oh, the guy, that's the guys that I've dated. I would prefer them to be bisexuals, a polly relationship with them

and themselves. That does seem like if you want to be with me, you have to put up with the back that I'm always going to love myself more than you and when we faced off, I'll be looking at my own self and not see you even for a second, even though you are dyeing your eyebrows and they look like Gratcho marks and I didn't even notice the whole time we were on the phone. That really happened to me one time when I was talking about a long time.

He didn't notice that my eyebrows were completely black groucho marks the entire time. I answered the phone going like hello, and he had an outer long conversation before he even looked at me because he was such a narcissist, which are don't we all stare at yourselves on this Um, that's a good question. Did he have his crouchows on? Thank you so much to everyone who wrote in, Uh and and talked. Yeah, it could have been. That's true too, Um. Thank you so much. We will be back with more

shows shortly, very shortly. I'm still recovering from surgery, but we'll figure it all out. I will have a different voice the next time you hear me, but not too different, and be back with the new today. Louis, October, October six, St Louis, Helio, come on out and come on. If you want to plan a trip to St Louis, come on down. Um, that'll be so fun. And I'll be on tour with Eric Hutchinson September. One longer sets. BOSTON, D C, Philly and New York City. Oh Fuck yes,

Eric Hutchinson is amazing too. That's if you've never heard of him. Like, first of all, just go to see any and then you can leave, it doesn't matter. But like, definitely go support those shows. Um, a fun night out and Um, and I will be back on tour in October. Iowa is my first day. Get tickets now and then we are back on the road consistently. and Um, new tour dates coming out soon. Um, and, as always, will be here on the PODCAST, so check this out as well.

I love you guys so much. Thank you for listening. Thank you for waiting for me to get healed again and being patient with one podcast a week. I love you so much. Thank you for the Fan Tex uh, don't be and Jack Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack Jack, Yea,