#270 Operation: Dancer In The Dark

just the op. But like you don't you say, like we'll have that talk pre op, we'll have that talk postop. But we don't say we'll have that talk op. Oh you know what I mean. It's it's so it's probably drop. Well they can't really talk to you while or them. Yeah you can't. Okay, well you'll be maybe if they're like, we'll decide that. I'll decide that during UP, because he is deciding things during up. Have you ever been under before?

D um? Yes, I wisdom seed I think. And then also my ranula what that thing when I had a clogged tongue duct and it made a big bubble. I think they had to do that me then too. But I think maybe just one's time. What about you for your I just love that you don't know if you've been put on, put under not You're like, I think I was put on. I don't really remember. I just it's it's not that remarkable to me. But I know, I guess it is remarkable. But some people go under

so much. I mean, people are getting surgeries all the time, you know. Yeah, I've been. I've been under twice for colonoscopy and a endoscopy, and I think that's both. They do both at the same time. They put a tube and they meet in the middle. I guess I know, what, did you like wake up while you were under? What? My sister? I had weird visions of them like rolling me over, Like I have like memories, But I don't think I woke up, but I have what I don't know.

That's freaking me out. But are you having like fake memories? Andrew? Probably fake? Probably fake. I think I was a little I was worried about how my dick was gonna look when they were rolling me around. Oh my god, did you like try to check out there were female doctors or anyone that was gonna be a woman in the up. Yeah, I made sure that everyone was blind, and I was like, just good luck. I'd rather blind people operated on me

than anyone. See my little dad. Someone read my Dick and Brail and they're like, it's small, it's small, we figured it out. Oh no, I think I think anxiety maems bad. Just all the extra effort you had to go to to protect it from being seen in the world, all the things, all the hoops. Dude. I have known nurses. They do talk shit about what they see in there. Of course they're humans. It's like when doctors smoke, you go white. Doctors smoke, nurses smoke. It's like, no, they're

flawed people too. Yeah, my dad was a cancer doctor. He's he daring a little bit. After the divorce, he started smoking a little bit, like he tried to keep it on the low. He didn't get to addict. Obama smoked. I always remember that whenever I start to project too much perfection onto anyone, I'm like, Obama smoked, everyone's flawed. What your sister will? I know? He did it made

me want to do it. Yeah. She so. She was getting four of her wisdom teeth removed, and the doctor that while she was in the procedure, he like asked the nurses to hand him like four steps or something, and all of a sudden she raises her hand and

like tries to hand him something. No, I just okay, well, terrify, I cannot wake up during this because it's I don't understand how you don't have pain when you're sleeping, you know, like or it must it must sedate your nerves in some way, because you would be like, you know, when you're sleeping and I do something like I would cut you, you would wake up. You know. It's different than sleep,

for sure. I'm sure they're in a casiologist listening being like this is boring, Like I'll tell you exactly of Norm McDonald's bit about his you know, dying from a heart attack and at dying in his sleep, he didn't feel anything. It's like, I know, it's like they do wake up. Maybe, Yeah, it's not just like the found

him dead on the floor. I think he'd rather be alive in bed or I forget what the joke was, but yeah, it's just yeah, everyone always because he died in his sleep, it wasn't a a thrashing, fighting death off in beneath the covers and like just screaming in bed, but as long as you were just horizontal when you did it, and there was a pillow here from a calf cramp, you know, not even a bad one or like restless legs dead reless dick syndrome. Wake up, Oh my god, restless leg not fun funk. My neck is

still doing it. I'm still suffering that little what do you call it? A crick in your neck? Yeah? Crick? Wait what do you post crick? Post crick? I thought it was post crick but it's still going too much? Where are you Boston? In Boston? Um? I got here last night? Um, like it's what is it? It's noon or something like that, now noon fifteen and then um,

in last night at um eleven, No, who cares? And then um, hey when people are like exactly and also you're hearing this like two weeks later, Um, but it's wild time. What time was it though? Like I landed at ten thirty pm from London and I was in London for um, you know, I landed in London on Monday morning in London time, and then m yeah, I surprise, Chris, So I went to London. Well, people need to know what it was, because no one knows what it was first, So you know, I know you know what it was,

but do you know, I don't know what it was. Okay, So Chris's birthday and he was going over to Iceland and with his friends to Um to bike ride. Chris my boyfriend. If you're just learning this, if you're if you're pretty pre Chris Um. He was over there with his friends cycling through Iceland for nine days or something insane, and then they went to London at the end of it.

I was stand in my shirt to just like hang out and and then it was his birthday on the fifth, and I was supposed to go out to London to meet them afterwards, just to hang out all week in London, but then I had to get surgery, so that I was like, I can't go to London. I'm sorry, and he was totally understanding. And it was just kind of a bummer though, because we were really looking forward to being over there together at the end of his trip, when we had not seen each other for so long.

It would have been nice. And what he didn't know was that I still planned on going, but I was only going to go for one day. Um, which is something that he has often done for surprises for people, like he once flew to Australia for less than twenty four hours to go to someone wedding, and like flew twenty four hours to be there for twelve hours and then flew back just for to surprise some one at their wedding. So it's like in his playbook of things

to do. And so I and I was more than happy to do it because it was so fun and he didn't see it coming at all, and he was totally fine with me not going, and obviously so like I didn't care at all, but was like, you know, we were both like longing for each other pretty heavily. UM. I think like an arduous bike trip made him just like we just like got closer during this time apart.

It was just sweet and I could tell that it was like it was bumming me out so much to pretend that I wasn't going because all day when I am, I'm in London at eleven am, He's not getting in until ten pm. So all day he's traveling from Iceland to London and it is his birthday in the States. He knows I'm awake and during that time and I can't talk to him. I called him from the airport in Chicago on my layover, um, which was midnight his time,

on his birthday. And I like put a bunch of blankets over my head in the lounge because it is so hard to get anywhere quiet in an airport that doesn't sound like an airport. So I get into the I go in my layover like I have a little bit time, and I go with the American Airlines lounge so I can have peace and quiet. I put a bunch of blankets and um, you know, scarf and a jacket over my head to make a little sound booth, to be like I am in bed. I'm just thinking

about you on your birthday, you know. And he didn't pick up, so that was failed. Then I sent him a text and then I am flying and I fly over there and I land and I'm texting him all day. But I I get to my hotel and I just slept all day. I was gonna like go explore London, but I was so tired. I landed in the morning in London. I went to my hotel and I slept until seven pm. And then the surprise was supposed to

happen at um. I was supposed to be there at like nine o'clock at the place for the surprise, and his friends new. So I arranged it with his friend Hamish Blake, who is of Hamish Nandy, which I've told people to go watch. So Hamish knew. His friends also knew, but Hamish was my you know, contact, and so I'm texting with Hamish and he was like, Okay, the plan is. So I came up with this plan. For a while we were like, oh, I'll just show up at a dinner or ill like, I don't know. I've done different

surprises before. I think the last time I did it was how did I surprise him? The last time? I think, I um god, I can't remember it for some reason. But I just like show up different places and then it's always funny. But this time I was like, it's

his birthday. Have the guys take him to a strip club, get him in a room, buy him a lap dance, get him in a room alone, have him blindfolded, and then I will come in and in a private room where there's not like anyone can see, and I'll like dress like a stripper and come in and give him a lap dance or whatever, and then so that was the plan. But I didn't have any stripper clothes and I tried to order someone Amazon. They are probably arriving

now because it was so back ordered. So I had no slut wear and I don't really have any in my own possession, and I have like some stuff that I've gotten, but it doesn't fit right and it's not even cute. And so I had planned to go shopping in London during the day to buy a stripper outfit. I bought like strip I have stripper heels and I had those, but I like no sexy underwhere I had nothing. So I'm like, oh no, and it's seven o'clock. I slept way too late. So I go out and I'm

you know. I went down to Herod's, which is like Nieman Marcus of London, and I met like La Perla and a bra is like four dollars. I'm like, there's no way I'm spending Like this is disgusting. So then I go to Zara and I'm just like combing through Zara trying to find any slept where there's hardly any. But I found a couple of things. Um I went in once and I was like, this is bullshit. And then I tried to get a taxi to go to the sex shop across town, and then I couldn't get

a taxi. So I go, okay, I'm going back in Sarry. I gotta make something work. And then I found stuff in Zara, so then I go back. I'm getting ready. They are like texting me, like, we're on the way to the hotel. I'm staying at the same hotel they're staying at, so I can't risk leaving the hotel. Like what if Chris decides to go make a call in the hallway or something and then I see him. So I have to leave before they get to the hotel. So I get into Uber minutes before they get to

the hotel. I go. I go to the strip club Platinum Lace. It's in like um Circle. I don't know, it's some area of town. Okay, So they Hamish said that his friend one of the guys called some guy that the manager said we were gonna have a V I P. Section, but no, they did not. I get

there and it's not clear. So I go inside and I just find a dancer and I say to her, I'm like hey, I have this idea, and then she loved it, and I was like, okay, so like, I think it's best to find like I had adjusted the plan by then, I was like, okay, I think the best plan because if he gets blindfolded, he might be like, are they gonna rob me? Or something like it just the blindfold is gonna make it either too suspicious, he'll think it's me because it's like so obviously a surprise,

or he's gonna be like scared. So I said, I think it's best if there are so many strippers that he can't really tell me from out the pack. And I brought bought a wig also, so I said, get I think three girls. I'll buy him a dance. As soon as he walks in with his friends, you guys go Chris birthday boy. I'll tell Hamish ahead of time that it seems like they called ahead of time to be like Chris is the birthday boy grabbed him immediately, so the girls act like the boys have called ahead.

And so as soon as I go wait in the bathroom, I get changed. I came in and addressed that I thought was like good, and then the girls were like, what did you bring to wear it. I was like, oh this, and then I was like, but I have some extras out Then they're like, no, put that on. So I put on this other outfit that was a little bit sluttier importman in that movie closer um like it's pink wig like it felt so and immediately I was like strip re vibes, like I felt so powerful,

I felt so sexy. It was so fun. And so then I go out and they're like, girl, you go if you stopped and did like four dances like on the way over there. I honestly, if his friends wouldn't have been there, I would have it was because they were already dancing. They were just like moving like this. They were just like like going up and down the pole, like just like with their backs up against the pole, like going up and down. Like there was no like

acrobatics going on. So then the girls helped you such like girl, they loved it. It's like it was three. It was like a little school. It was like the view. We were around a table, the three of us talking about boys and talking about the business and talking about like surprising and they were all at first like is he gonna like be man that you're there, like are you going to like what like we get topless and like what if he like has a They were kind of like what if he's turned on by us? And

like are you good? And I was like, oh no, I'm into all this and they're like okay, okay, Like I'm like clearly like this is They were like, is he going to be really embarrassed that he gets gott And I was like no, no, no, this is like our thing, and so I was like no, I love this stuff. I was like, and I even asked him.

I was like, so, um, so after you guys. So then my plan was they three of them would give them him a lap dance and then I would just come in like another girl that was just like what are you guys up to? And then just come in and then I don't even know what I was gonna do after that, Like I was like, I'll probably just go like it's nicky, please just know it's me, and so rip off my wig and be like do a

chick and yeah. Yeah, Honestly, it's so awkward for me to like be around because these strippers are so intimidating because they're so sexy and so like feminine, and like I just felt like a little bit clutzy, um being there and older. You know, I'm probably at least seven years older than them. I think that they're probably thirty most so I guess eight years older than thirty eight and so um yeah, and I was like practicing, like what are you guys doing in hair? What's going on?

Who's the birthday boy? Is this the boy birthday boy? Does he need his chimneys wet? And so they were laughing because I was like I was blind full day, but like he's making porridge, Like what kind of crazy woman? It's like the girl from Lasers. A. Um, I just yeah, I'm straddling a broomstick. So I know, dude, this is a badass elaboraty thing. I can't so I'm on the edge of my seat, like this is ridiculous. Then, um so I really wanted it. In his mind, the best

the best. If you're doing a surprise, the best way to do it is to eliminate, especially with a guy that I've done surprises with before, Like he knows that I have nothing to do on this Monday, Like it is possible for me to do this. I don't think in his wildest dreams that you were in l A. You're in l A. I was in Vegas. So I was in l A for a week and a half

and then I was in Vegas the night before. Then all day on Sunny from London, I was in la I was in l A. Then Vegas on Friday night, Saturday, I I got in at I had a flight at seven am out of Vegas. All day I kept taped with Graham Ben Singer, which is gonna be airing. Um oh, I forgot all about wherever you are. So I taped from I get into I land in St. Louis on Saturday. After the show in Vegas on Friday night, Thank you Bestie's for coming out, and then I filmed all day

until ten pm with Graham. I do a set that night. It's like all day long in my apartment film crew. And then Sunday morning, I wake up and start getting ready and then I leave Sunday night. So yeah, it

was a busy time. But so to eliminate any any questionable doubt that he had that I maybe was going to be there or wasn't gonna be there, I um, I decided to meet up with a friend of his that he would think I have no way of contacting like a friend that I know through Chris, but who I don't even follow on Instagram, like and so, but he lives near me. So this guy, Pat knee Off, one of Chris's friends, lives near me. So I contacted Chris's brother. I got Pat's number, and I said, Pat,

will you meet up with me today? This was Sunday before I left, like an hour before I left with the airport, I go meet up with me. Let's take a picture together, like we just ran into each other. And then tomorrow I will send this and I will send it to him four o'clock our time, which will be an like thirty minutes before he sees me at the strip club. So thirty minutes before Chris sees me at the strip club, I send him a selfie being like I just ran into Pat on the street. Then

I text Pat to text Chris. I just ran into Nikki. I heard it was your birthday. Happy birthday. So Chris is a place in his mind. I am so in St. Louis, Pat and me, and he would never in a million years think that Pat and I coordinated that because Pat and I don't even have each other's info through multiple parties it would take. So I have covered my bases so steadily with this. So then um, also, just because Chris would have gone, I wouldn't see Chris until eleven

PM on his birthday. I know that he would be a little bit suspicious that I haven't given him any kind of gift before that, Like it would just seem weird that I've just totally missed it. So I wrote a texts all day being like I love you so much. We're going to celebrate in Boston. But because he was coming here from my surgery, I um. There was this picture that was taken in Um during his Iceland trip.

They had like a professional outdoor photographer, like National Geographic style taking pictures, and there's this one close up of Chris's face and he looks so rugged, so handsome, really like portrait style close up. So I at first, when I saw this picture, like a week and a half ago, I was like, God, that's National Geographic, Like that is so like that is like amazing. It's It's a picture I keep like looking at and like kissing because it looks it's so close up. It looks like he's like

right next to me. I do a Halsey you know what you used to kiss your phone space, And so I wrote a guy that makes posters for comedians and like has done a bunch of graphic art based on on um like different shows. Like he'll take shows and remake them. So I wrote him and I was like, well,

you do a national geographic cover. But I had to say sexiest Man alt I've like People magazine style, And so we made this amazing cover and I wrote all these funny captions that was like, and let me just read it really quick and I'll send it to you know, to post so we can have it on our socials. Um, so people can see it. But it's so well done. And this was like this was enough to give him like, Okay, it's a little present before I get there, it says

Chris Convey Sexiest Man Alive Special Report. Looks like yeah, it looks like it has like an Icelandic scarf on. He looks like serious, it says The Sexy Issue with special guest editor Nikki Glazer. Chris Convey Sexiest Man Alive Special Report. How one man's voyage to Iceland accelerated glacial melt and then there's a quote. It says from the President of Iceland, Gundi Thorlaceous Johansson. It says, you can't bring that kind of hotness up here without dire consequences.

That being said, we'd love to have him back. Hubba hubba and so um. I said that to um and um and so. I said that to him literally fifteen minutes before I see him, and I go, do you have two minutes to look at this present? This is all I have right now before I go to you know, to sleep and or I'm sure you're going to sleep soon. I hope you have such a fun night for your birthday. I said that to him. He's in the cabin on

the way over, texting me. I'm in the bathroom of the strip club and he's like, oh my god, this is hilarious. I miss you so much. I wish you were here, and I'll tell you the rest when we get back from break. So I'm in the strip club in the bathroom awaiting their arrival. I know they're ten minutes away because I was staying at the hotel. Hamish writes me, and he goes, we're leaving right now. They're

leaving late because Chris is a little depressed. I come to find out he's just like tired from the trip. He misses his girlfriend, it's his birthday. He just doesn't He's just like feeling a little bit like slowed down. And I can tell from the text, like it really honestly broke my heart because I could just tell he was like he was just being really cute when guys, if you're a guy out there in a relationship with

a woman. I don't know if this is for everyone, but there's something really sweet when a guy gets like a little bit tired or a little bit like sad and just like it's kind of like I just miss you and just as kind of like pouty about like I just want to be with you. Like it was just like there was a longing for me that I really enjoyed. But it also made me sad because I was like, Oh, he thinks I'm not going to be there, and he's like he just needs his girlfriend right now

and he's just feeling sad. And so I'm waiting in this bathroom and then Amish writes me and goes, we're outside. He goes John, one of the guys who is part of the plan and knows what's going on, just decided to go to a t M. We're already late. He was like, come on, John. He was like, John knows the plan. I don't know what he's doing. So then John has been in a t M. It takes forever. I'm still waiting. In the start, I got to take out like my kids savings to just for the for

the pink. Yeah, it's not for me. It's not for me, it's for like, I want Chris to make sure this is real. So I'm going to cheat on my wife. Shout out to John who did lend me two hundred dollars to pay off the strippers because I didn't have enough cash because I got sucked over from my cash exchange in London. I gave them four hundred dollars. The exchange rate is eighty six cents to the dollar and I got back two six dollars for a four hundred

dollars change. So I got fucked and I didn't realize it till I was a block away and I looked at my cash. Um. So anyway, thank shout out to John, Thank you for stopping at the a t M and he didn't let me paying back, so that was really nice of him. So then I go, I'm waiting, and then so Hamish goes we're inside, and I'm like, yes, And I knew these girls are gonna grab Chris right away. So I am waiting in the stall. And by the way,

they wouldn't even let me. The management and the strippers like weren't weren't in connection, and the security they weren't in cahoots. Oh, by the way, before this happens, I got I say to the strippers when we're at the table, and I hate to call them strippers if that's not a nice word, but I like that word. Um, and if you don't, I totally will not use it. But

for now I'm going to use strippers. So the Exoctic dancers strippers and I are talking table and I go, so after I walk in, you guys, I don't know, maybe we'll dance a little bit together. I don't know, maybe we'll giggle whatever. But then you guys beat it. And then I was like, can I like blow them or whatever? I said something like that and I was like and they go, oh no, Um, Well, there is

a room. It's two thousand dollars for that room and there's no cameras, and I'm like, no, thanks, I'll just go back to my hotel room. And I'm probably already paying that amount for two. Can I pay more for more cameras? Yeah, I'm like less cameras makes it sexy here. I'm confused. So they were like no, and by the way, the rules are different here in in the UK, or I guess in London for strip clubs, and I go, what do you mean? They're like lap dances, Get this

lap dances in London? No touching. Yeah, what is the point of a lap dance in a private have private rooms all over the places. They're like, they can use this private room, this one, This one's fours, this one's six. And then you go in and the women just take off their top and dance for you, just at a closer proxi. No no touching at all. No on your lap. You can't touch them, they can't touch you. There's no touching.

They just dance in front of you. Andrew, have you ever heard of anything No, this is this is I've heard of like strip clubs where they'll they can you just can't touch them, like I've heard of that you can't touch them, but that kind of the topless but they can't. That means they cannot get on your there's no lap. This is a this is just a dance that's not on the stage, and it costs you fo more to have them on the on sea level. And he's gonna know it's you if you grind, He's gonna

be like, wait, this girl is bad. When I heard that, I go. I had already paid them my portion of the money that I was going to give them the rest later, and so I would have just said, let me just pretend to be a cocktail waitress then, like, let me just get them in the v I p are and walk in and be like what do you boys need? Like that's the same thing this is going to be because I can't you're not you guys can't

touch him. What I wanted it to be was like, you know, we are a couple that talks about like, you know, fun stuff, and I wanted to walk in with him having all these girls on him, touching him, like like him kind of entranced. I wanted that, So it was pointless to me after I found out there just he's going to a dance recital essentially like who can't like him in a room with a laptop and have like him watching hustlers. It was like, what is going on here? And then you come in dress like

a computer? Yeah, to drink. That's our role play if your if your boyfriends addicted to porn, just dress up like a laptop one. Oh yeah, I love the idea too of him texting me because he was so sad because he's like, I don't know, like I feel good now, like he didn't no offense to Holly, Cassandra and Crystal, who by the way, I also talked to them about how they figured out their names because I was like, oh, I'm trying to become a pop star and I'm going to make a name for myself and it's so fun

because you get to name yourself. And they were talking to me about how they came up with it, and one girl was like, oh, I just had a crush on this girl well of grade school, so I just named myself her name. And then another girl was like, I just googled top ten stripper names and I picked one, and then another girl was like, I think it's just my name. So then um so then in the bathroom, Like, why did I just waste all this money? Whatever? Who cares?

It's gonna be fun? Are you anxious at all? Well? I did said I'll play a thing that I sent um the group chat for my girl friends, and you can kind of see me in the bathroom waiting in a strip club the bathroom and Chris is about to arrive and I don't even know what the plan is, but I'm here and we're doing it. Okay, So that was me. I was nerves. I was a little bit nervous, very closer, very closer, like exactly like Natalie Corn closer. Okay.

So I am in there and just like kind of I'm not freaking out because I already paraded around in it in the club, and I kind of felt like, oh, I'm just like one of the gals, even though the gals are wearing like thong lingerie like there, if you're walking around the club, were you getting solicited by men for lap dances? There was no men there yet, Like

it was kind of like, yeah, it was too early already. Um, But I happen to a strip club before where I dressed normally and I got groped by a man once that was an old man and he thought I was a stripper, so it was kind of flattering, but also like what the funk, dude, Um, but I could up. I literally was like, oh, I there's no difference between me.

I just watched the j LO documentary about her in that movie Hustlers, and she plays a stripper in that, and I'm like, this is just there's no there's nothing wrong with what I'm doing. I'm just playing a character like I could do this, and it was really fun and exhilarating to dress that suggestively, and it was empowering because these girls are walking around naked without a care in the world, like not naked, but you know, in lingerie, just and it's no different than being at the pool.

Let me just be honest, like, there's no difference between what these girls are wearing and what you see at a you know, especially in Miami on the beach. So I am waiting in the bathroom and then Hamish texts me two minutes after they say they've arrived. He texts me there's been a kerfuffle and I'm googling kerfuffle because Hamish is a um. Ham is just so funny. Let me just read some of these texts um with him, like Hamish Blake is I think the funniest man alive.

I just might say this. Um so he says, Hey, Glazie, it's Hamish here from Australia and soon Iceland. I hear whispers you could join us in London. This would be a giant cherry, yet still perfectly proportioned and looks great in any kind of outfit cherry on the trip, he said, are we secret squirreling this? What can I do to help?

I said, okay, I know it's a crazy idea and maybe two out there, but my ideal surprise would be for him to go to a strip club and get a lap dance in a dark room alone and I show up. You think that could happen. I feel like it's something he'd be down to do on his birthday. He said. I'm with Hato right now. Hado is one of the guys in the trip, and if our giggles and screams and yelling are anything to go by, I'd say, now we've calmed down in a new in a cool,

nonchalant voice, Yeah, what have spabe? Sounds cool? So funny? Yes to this it will be a real slog for Hato and I, but I guess there theoretically we could start investigating London's best strip clubs. And so then he gets back to me and he's like, okay, he goes secret squirrel. Hato has a friend who is a b l L bleed in local London londoner, and he tells us Platinum Lace is the kind of place we should

go to pull off your surprise. I'm not sure how we're going to pull this off, since you really can't rock up and walk up and be like, I'm on tonight but if but in my vision, you are already at the club in a false mustache, reading the newspaper. We exchange discreet nods when we walk in. I organize a lovely lady to take Chris somewhere and word her up. More discreet nods are had. You slink in surprise executed. You guys kiss confetti false from the ceiling. Some other

guys sees the kids. Some other guys sees this and thinks you're allowed to kiss the girls. A fight breaks out. Some genuine London bobbies are called. We take off their helmets and bongo. Chris's favorite song the cops are too impressed to be angry. We're made honorary dukes and duchess is scene thoughts and so um. Later on he goes, hey, Nick, are we still good to go for Operation Dancer in the Dark. I think we have everything settled at this end,

same venue. I think we'll be getting there maybe at ten. And then he goes in and he goes, um, operation update. You're on Masen's list, so say something like I'm with Mazen in English. Should be a great way to get clear access. Then you can get in before us and set up in lalo heck, get a few dances and close some deals with business associates. And then he writes the eagles have landed, And then uh, so we're in there, and he goes, um, we're texting back and forth about like, oh,

what's what's going to happen? Um, Chris just walked in the room. By the way, Chris, I'm reading my exchange. Oh, come on, everybody, we're I'm in the middle of Oh you're just looking Okay. He's trying to help me plug in my stuff. I think I'm good for now. Wait, let's see how much time I have. Let's just go until it's just so I can finish the story. Babe, you're the best. Thank you so much, but seriously, get the get the funk out of here. Just kidding. Um.

He goes, you're so close, Raven. That's your code name, by the way, and so he's just it's so funny. Coordinate with them, um, I said, okay, so it's two of them. They will approach you, guys like you have called ahead and arranged it. Crystal and Holly they what's the birthday? Boy's name is Chris? He said, Crystal and Holly, welcome to the code name game. Your extent, you're outstanding. This is wonderful. And he says, copy that, Raven. He

calls me Raven. We're in the lobby waiting for Sea World, which is Chris and Vaughan trying not to hurry him to the point of suspicion, but also you know, kind of hurrying him. And I said, just let him know. You guys have something planned. Just hurry him up, and he goes, okay. Um. I like when someone has a nickname and the other one is just their real names. So then it's like t Paine and Jeff I got I got a little lazy in the second half of that.

It's hard to nickname everyone, especially when there's people involved. So go ahead, so he goes, Now we have the money, so he goes, we are outside. Then John decided to go to the A T M. And he knows the plan. John and I said, okay, I have service in here because I'm in the bathroom. And then I hooked up to a hotel local hotels WiFi because before I was got nothing in there. And by the way, this, I'm sorry, this is so disjointed, but I am in the bathroom

because they will not let me. Security won't let me sit in an area by myself where I could be watching but like not be seen. And my wig is too much like my own hair, Like I kind of brought bought the wig as um oh. So I bought a bunch of wigs off Amazon, just to figure out while I'm in the silent mode, to figure out like my character with my pop star character. So I bought

a bunch of wigs. But I didn't want to bring by a dark wig because I'm just not feeling like my character is gonna have dark hair, even though that would have been the perfect wig for this because it looks so much not like me. So anyway, I'm in a wig that kind of looks like me. So I don't want to be too um conspicuous, yes, conspicuous. So I'm trying to hide out. And then as soon as I go in this little back section and I'm not in the back areas, I'm just like in a little

booth by myself. Security comes up to me and it's like, you need to get out of here, and I was like, you can't be here, what are you doing? And I'm like, oh, I have like a thing. I'm surprising my boyfriend, no sense of humor. They don't want to play. They're like, no, get out of here, and I go, fine, I'll go to the bathroom and hide, like you can't get me

in there. So I go in the bathroom and by the way, the strippers say to me, um, the second you come in the room and kick us out, and first of all, you can't do anything with him physical, and I go, but he's you know what if we were boyfriend girlfriend just came in the club and they're like, well,

the security doesn't know that you're dressed like this. They're gonna think you're a dancer, and I go tell them I'm not and that I can kiss them, and they're like, they're the second they see you kiss him, they're gonna prounce on you. I'm like, well, then find that I

don't care, you know. But I'm also like, why can't For some reason, the girls and the security and the management are not connected, like there is no and the girls also all of a sudden stumble upon this problem where they're like, wait a second, what if as soon as these guys walk in, We've already worked out with Nikki or whatever my name is, that um Raven, that I um, they've worked out that I'm they're gonna grab Chris right away. And then all of a sudden the

dawns in them. They go, but what if the other girls get bad? Because it looks like we're like just like scooping it into quickly. And I'm like, tell the other girls I picked you and that we planned this, and they're like, um no, Like it was so the politics of a strip club kind of emerged as just CD and like not being able to communicate with each other and everyone's out for themselves. It's like kind of like the Serengetti like it's just every man for themselves.

And so I'm in the bathroom. Then Hamish types in after he goes, okay, we now have the money heading back into this yes. Um, he goes, we have the money now heading back over the road to this little inconspicuous, little mom and pop strip club. I said, so the management doesn't know the plan. It's like the girls felt

we are telling them. So once I reveal myself, I can't touch him or do a private dance because there's no no touching role here, even for lap dances, and there are cameras in the private rooms, so it's gonna be real quick reveal and there's no point for me to be dressed like a stripper because I can't even touch him. He says, we're here, and then seconds later he says here at five. Um, I mean this is well, no, it's eleven o'clock there, but that's the reason it converted

to this time. So it's five fifty in Boston. Um. He goes, there seems to be a kerfuffle dot dot dot, and I'm like, oh, like there's problems because the security was like, there's a girl hiding in the bathroom. At this point, I'm in the bathroom for twenty minutes, and I'm guessing they've noticed, and they're like this mysterious girl that like was giving us trouble already and talking about the strippers and plodding yes and so, and I'm waiting.

There's no one coming into the bathroom because it's a woman's bathroom at a strip club. It's the safest place too. It's like, honestly, if you want to go record a podcast, that's yeah, so he says, and then I google kerfuffle because he has such a grasp in the language. I'm like, I know what a kerfuffle is, but what is his definition of it? And it says like, you know, a like a fight, A confused, like you know, a I

forget the definition. But I was like, oh no, So then there's a current and then I write, and then you go, I go at five two, there seems to be a curfuffle? Four? What's going on? Did we get made? That's what I say. I say made as an And I took me a while to come up with that word because I'm like, there's a word that means like when the gig is jig is up, you know, And I said, And then at so five fifty four, what's going on? Did we get made? That's two minutes after

he says to Kerfuffle that it's six o two. I write, I hear nothing. I'm assuming all hell has broken loose. I'm in the bathroom, still awaiting any intel. Then at six oh seven, I get a message that says, go, go go. But by the way, it did not deliver at six o seven. It was since at six o seven. I was in there from six o two into for a while. Now, yes, so now I am in there from six o two until six twenty when the one of the streamers, one of the three, Holly, runs into

the bathroom and goes, it's we're almost done. Because I said, the amount of dance I paid for us ten minutes, and I'm supposed to come. I wanted to come in about eight minutes, but once I found out they don't touch him, I was like, oh, come in at two minutes. I mean, like, who cares, it doesn't matter and I and I said two minutes because I did not want Chris to have to sit there and like humor these girls who are just dancing for him, like it's just so embarrassing like he would just be. So so I

run out. This is I'm in the bathroom for twenty five minut it's now that he Hamis said go at six oh seven. I am running out thirteen minutes later. So these girls have given an extra long strip dance which I tipped with someone else's money later on extra. So I so I run out. Hamish is there. I throw Hamish my bag. I run across the room, following Holly. Holly, I hear I heard see her slip into the curtain, and I hear Chris go, oh, where did you go?

You're just taking off like he's just trying to make small talk. And I peer inside, and I noticed that all the girls are topless, and before they weren't. And I'm like, oh, I forgot about the topless part. And so I quickly just like pull up my top up to my like I didn't even take it off. I just put it up to my neck so I can be topless too, you know. And I peel back the curtain and I walk in and I'm like uh and and and then Chris goes, well, hello, who is this?

And I'm just like quiet, and I just kind of like staredom and like just like and he goes and get some. He goes, Hi, what's your name? I'm Chris, And I go and he's like so polite, it's so sweet. He was like, Hi, what's your name. I'm Chris. And he's just being like, I know exactly your kids are fully out right now. I just pulled it quickly, just pulled it up in the room. It's just Chris, like right before watched It's like a curtain partition, you know, it's like the curtain. So I peer in and I

see their topics and I go. So he goes, hi, I'm Chris. Nice to meet you, pulls out his hand. He's gets up from the couch and I go, we're not allow to touch you, so not even on the hand. But I go, my name is Nicky, and he goes, hi nick Oh my god, and then he screams and he just like scoops me up and we fall onto the couch and he's just like, oh my god, Oh my god. And we are running and then the girls are just like clapping. They're so excited because they were

in on it. They were just like oh my god, like they were so happy and like so exide. They were like, we didn't we were like stalling, and I go, I was in the bathroom. I didn't get any reception. And Chris is like, I can't believe it too, I can't believe this. What what is happening? What is happening? And he was just so freaking cute and so happy.

It was so adorable. It was the best, Like he cannot get over how much the surprise meant to him, But I can't get over how much his reaction meant to me, because of course I knew he was going to have a good response, but it was so sweet.

I know that women understand what I'm talking about, and men in relationship too, with men like your man is always like this masculine energy, like I've got it, like I'm you know, there's something about when a man is like needs you and it's just like so relieved and like just doesn't want to let go, and it's just

like I missed you so much. Like he has just been in a like a Shackleton expedition in the Arctic, like and he was just like just a and he hasn't been around women, like there's been no feminine energy like and so he was like just so holding onto me so tight, and then we finally like we have Then the scurcurity guard immediately comes in. It's like get out of here, you know, like you guys gotta get out.

I'm like, he's my boyfriend. I don't work here, and he's like, well you do now, and he sends me hands me at W nine and so then I go out and um, it's so sweet. Like I thought instantly Chris would be like, you know, oh my god, you got it, because he was very excited for me to meet all of his friends. And two of those friends

I had not met before. It was I knew Vaughn, I knew Um Hamish, and then it was John and then this other guy, Guppy, and I didn't know those guys, and he was He's always been very excited for me to meet him. So I thought it was just like gonna be me coming back to the table. The guys already in this v I P section, like throngs of strippers in there. Because these guys are so hot and clearly have money, they're in a v I P section.

There's like all the strippers in the club are in this VP section and Chris is just like we're just in this court like outside the room, and he just like tastes me the corners, just like I can't believe you're here, and just he just just like, let's should we let's just leave, Let's just go, and he's just like what And I'm like, wait, I thought we're gonna like hang ouf for you were things like oh yeah, And then he's like kissing me, and I'm just like

so obsessed with the rules of this place of like you can't kiss, you can't touch, and I'm dressed like a stripper that I keep kind of making the kisses short, like kind of like you know, just kind of like okay, like we're done here. I got and that's so funny. And he goes, do you know want to kiss me? And I'm just like, no, there's rules here, but I paranoid about the rules. He was like, so it's just

so then I go. We are just like in this corner for like ten minutes, just like you know, he is just so happy to see me, is so freaking cute. I am loving every second of it. And then we go back and we you know, have to chat up the strippers and like here's one thing I learned about strippers, so and I meet all of his friends. It was so fun to see all those guys and um, and

they are just like you know, birthday, smirth day. They are just so focused on like, you know, just having a good time and they're being they're so respectable that this is not debaucherus at all. I want to make that very clear. Like these guys are all like the sweetest like and they have families and they're just being recycled. These girls are just like it's like they're all doing

a podcast. These girls, they're just like talking to them and these girls are very I realized I am one of the best people when it comes to small talk. I am truly a you know, when you do radio for a really long time and you interview people and you sometimes interview duds, and you like you have to be good at keeping conversation going. I can pretty much

do it with anyone. When I was waiting for Chris to show up and biding my time with these strippers at the table, I felt like, oh, these girls are so bored. They don't want to talk to me, Like I have no I have money for them, but I've already paid them. And they know it's like a flat rate. They're not gonna like juice me up and get more. I'm not like they're for them. They are strippers are the best at small talk ever ever, because all they do, they had the best little lines to Like I was

studying them of just how they keep conversation going. I go back over to this section with the V I P. Section. They're chatting up these guys and just and they're so excited about me being there with Chris, and they're introducing themselves and they're they're just but it is so transactional. I mean the next day, the guys left shortly after the We left right away, like five minutes later. We left him. We're like, we're gonna go back to our

private room at the hotel, and um, the guys. We we met him up within the the next day and got the scoop of what happened. They stayed like ten minutes longer. I kept on my I kept on my outfit, I kept on my wig like I walked out on the street like I was getting off work. It was so fun, I was. And we get back to the hotel by the way, and I'm in a pink wig there. This is a really nice hotel. It's the catagan If you know um anything about London, It's where Oscar Wilde

was like arrested. It's like very famous. It's in this nice part of town. So I walked into the catagan Um. There's like a couple outside like smoking, this like rich couple that's like, you know, on vacation. And Chris and I get out of this like sleek uber, you know, and I'm in a wig with platform leopard print heels on that I wore on Jimmy Kimmel, but like with

my outfit, they looked insane. I'm wearing this realish tiny skirt a crop top with like dangly things and and and he goes, you know that they think you're a prostitute. And I go, oh my god, yes, And I go, so do you do this often? To Chris like, and I'm like, I've been here before. This is a nice place. What floor you like, I'm just like playing it up.

It was so funny. But we found out the next day that these girls who were so nice, and I was like, oh my god, we're leaving these guys with these girls and they are going to have the best night because these girls are like so down. They're like, oh my god, they know each other's names. They're all

getting along. They said. As soon as the guys went to like this like they were, um they you know, they pay these girls well because they you know, wanted to treat them like, you know, they're working, so they paid them for the conversation to hang and um, Hamis was talking about. On the way out, he was just like the girls were like, well, we'll walk you out, you know. And he's walking and the girls like kind of like the girls are like behind him a little bit.

He's walking ahead and he's like, thank you so much for like figuring out this surprise. It was such a great night. You guys really put it all the effort. And he said by the time he had been talking to himself for like a minute and a half because as soon as the money stopped, they peeled off. It's so transactional. It's so fucking interesting. Um, that's my strip

club story. We're gonna take a quick break and we're gonna come back with more because I gotta change out this how alright, we're back and um we have actually a special guest. He's back and better than ever. It is birthday boy, he's forty one and he's fresh and what and tons of fun? Oh yes, thanks buddy. Um Chris Convy is here. Um he's been a guest on

the show many times before. So I just told the entire story of the surprise all the way to us, leaving all the way to us recapping with the guys the next day, I mean everything, Um, can we just get I guess m Noah Andrew, do you have any specific questions for him, because I I'm just guessing from a perspective of someone who just heard the story, what what gaps you would like filled in from Chris? Was there any uh inclination on or any knowing that she

was going to come? Where were you? It was just a million percent of surprise. I know million she set it up very well, but yeah, million, million percent surprise because she had sent me a picture. I mean that that sort of thing you know in your in your body and in your heart where all your friends and family are. Like it's not like on the top of your mind, but I know where Nikki is. You know, like I knew where everybody is, and you know they

weren't in London. You know, the only guys in London where the where the slices that have in the guys I was with, and first of all, also to pull off a surprise of I've done things like this before. It's no easy task. And to to coordinate with the strip with a strip club, I mean, it's only lawlessness,

oh it is. It is lawless. So the amount of work that people had to do while like Nicki's preparing for surgery, and then you know, I've got these guys that are like doing heavy rel acting or while or like insane cycling and like weird conditions. So I'm just so appreciative that everybody, you know, did everything they did to pull this off. And I was absolutely just it was just one of the most shocking moments of my

entire life. Um. I was talking about how you were in the room with the girls and just because it's a lap dance, that doesn't get there's no lap being. It's pretty much they're just doing a dance recital for you from a distance, And how you even said afterwards, I I was alarmed that Hamish hadn't written me back. I thought it was delayed. So when I realized that you had been in that room, trying to make small talk and just being polite to these women dancing when

there's no interaction. There's everything that's fun about lap dance was not a part of that. Like can you just say, like what was going on in the room and like you were making you were just like being polite to the girls. You almost yeah, I was. I was talking. I was just talking to them about their lives, like asking where they were from. Well, they're just you know, like dancing and doing the same moves. And it was, you know, it was. Once a song ended, I was like, okay,

you know, the guys bought me. You know, they bought me this thing I've done. What what you know, what you're supposed to do when your friends ask you to tell you you have to do this thing. I went to the room and I was like okay, great, and then another song started and I was like I don't know if I can do this because you're just sitting there and these three women they're so sweet, Crystal Holly

and Camilla Yea, Chris from Spain. Yeah, and and then the other when when I came in the room, and then right after you were like, it's so funny because I was about to tell them I was because we were talking. I was like, you know, they're like, where are you from? And I was like, do you know where Nellie is from? So like Nellie is like my benchmark for everything when people because if nobody knows what St. Louis is, I mean from there in London, they're from,

Camille's from Spain. Like I'm just like, do you know Nellie? And and it's hard younger now and so I always I'm like, you know Nellie, you know that song you know hot in Here and all these things, and they're like, oh yeah, I'm like I'm from where that guy's from. They're like, oh, really cool. And then they start talking to them about like where they're from and all these things. And I am like moments away from from being like, hey, I'm gonna be I'm gonna be back here. Am I

let us say this. I'm gonna be back here next year with my girlfriend. You guys should come to her show. She would really like you guys like I'm I'm I'm on the customers saying that in Holly like leaves and I'm like, oh okay, so this is winding down and you know, stuff like that and they're like, um, what they said, like, oh should we should we come to St. Louis sometime. I'm like, oh, yeah, you would love my My family and friends would love you guys. You know

you'd be great. And then Holly, Holly comes back in and just your sweetness when I hear from the room, like where do you go? Like you're just you know, you'll take anything you can get to create conversation. And the fact that this girl laughed and then came back, Like I just here. I know Chris so well that I know he is just trying to come up like, oh the fact that she left and came back, that's a thing to comment on. That isn't their boobs in front of him. So he's just like, oh, where'd you go?

So you're back, you're just taking off like that, like he just made some kind of moment. And then that's when I came in. Yeah, And then I mean I was giving him compliments too. I was like, you guys are great. Your boyfriends must be, you know, very proud, like you know, you're just like trying to be really really sort is Father's not so much do you want to do blow off our ass and shut up? Can stop.

The other thing is like, you know out of forty just turned forty one that day, and you some of these people are too are too young to be like, they're just too young for me, and so you're just like just trying to be so like complimentary and nice and respectful. Yeah. Yeah, I always think just patting him on the top of the head and giving him a

like a mint, Yeah you're doing good. As soon as he turned the strike of forty one at midnight, you get worthy originals that just materialized in your your coat pocket. And none of these girls were like seems like like these transactional like they just seem like sweet girls that were like, you know, they had a job to do and it was entertain me for unfortunately, like seven minutes

or something. Part of it's like the accent, like because it's so we just think they could really like if you if I hear that accent, you're smarter to me right away. So it's a stripper with a very like posh English accent. I think there's no way she's taking clothes for money. That what do people in London do? They think any accent sounds smarter than them? Because to us, I don't know. I've got Holly's number. We should call her. Yeah, she's coming to the shows in May. We really should

get Crystal Holly and come in to come. I go back there. I doubt they'll will be working there because they're probably murdered by then, but um, it was a nefarious place, but now they'll probably still be. We got to go back to Platinum Lace. If you are in London, what was that part of town? I think it was Piccadilly Circus, Piccadilly Circus, Platinum Lace on in in Piccadilly Circus was the place to go and it was really nice.

But I just don't understand. Will you explained to me the appeal of getting a lap dance when you can't be touched, Like, what is the difference between a stage? I guess it's personal. They're looking and there's eye contact. I've never I've never been a part of that situation where what would be the purpose. There's private rooms everywhere and nothing, I mean for nothing like it was, you know, for like for like two minutes, you're like, oh, this is cool. There's like a variety of nice people to

hang out with. But then you know that novelty wears off pretty quickly, and you know it's, yeah, it doesn't. It doesn't seem like the most exciting thing to happen for more than two minutes. And I told them that. When we were walking back in the hotel, they were like you were like, they think you're prostitute. And I was like, did you do this? Often said I should

have done in my accent that I was practicing. There was hints of Julia Roberts, like from Pretty Woman going back into that hotel that they're totally was that was kind of like the outfit, the crop showing and the pink, the pink hair. I wouldn't that's just because I hadn't brush my teeth in a while. Well, now, Johnston, Chris and I um spent all day in London yesterday, not all day. We slept till one and then we went around London, London Town. I had to go get a

COVID test. I went to Starbucks and we went to McDonald's. We had a really great British day. We walked into the place where NICKI was getting you know, it's a really cold, like medical type place where where Nicky got a COVID test. She was like, behold London town. The only thing we had done in London together was to go get Nicki's COVID test. Was like, I love seeing the sites London. I was like, oh, look Big Ben and it was just a clock on the wall in

this sad medical office. Big Ben is just a guy giving you this shot. It's a guy named Benjamin. Um. It was yeah, and I got it was my first time in London. I saw Bug, We went to Buckingham Palace, we scooped by there. Um. We we just had a really great day and then the best part of it all was just um, you know, I'm so used to just traveling alone. And if I haven't traveled alone, it's always been with Andrew. Andrew and I are very good travel companions. Like we kind of like talk when we

need to. We sit separately when we don't need to. I never like traveling with someone like sitting next to them, like Andrew and I always sit separately on the plane, Like I just don't want an expectation. We have to talk. I have to say, I love traveling with you. My baby Chris, um, hey, my baby Chris. But my big Ben, Um, he is so fun because yesterday SeaWorld, you get it. No, uh he. I was in a little bit of a mood because we got stuck in terrible traffic. Um, I

thought we were gonna miss our flight. I was like, this is all gonna get sucked up. And then, you know, I think the best couples when someone gets anxious, the other person smoothed it out, and then the other person's anxious, the other person smooth and um yeah, Chris just like kept it together. There were some slow people at the airport checking our bags, and they wouldn't get out of

the way. They're just like lingering, you know what. You get your bags like checked, and there's a long line that these people have just waited in and been They

were just as nervous about making their flight. And they get up to the counter and they take their time, and then they get their bags checked and the bags go in and the woman loved them beyond the counter and then they just stand there and they go and they start pointing like and then if I go this way, and then and then they show them their ticket again and go so the ticket on this they just find shipped to ask that they could literally figure out anywhere

else from like a guy at a Kiosk and they but people love doing this. They and I am enraged. There's these people in front of us that are just taking their time, and so I rudely am like, oh, just take your time. I said it loudly, and Chris goes, we don't need to do like it was a quick now, and I go but they're just it was just such a moment of like I was embarrassed because it was like the worst part of me that just likes to like say a little cutting thing behind someone so that

they can hear it. But if they were to confront me, I'd immediately be like, I'm sorry, I don't mean to say that. But Chris was just like, we don't need to do that. And then Chris is the loveliest person to the woman helping us, and so much so that she like makes it extra special for us to go through, like it was just good to have you there to offset my you know it was. It was was supposed to take us a half hour to get to the airport,

and then we took us too. And Nikki's obviously got this surgery coming up, so obviously Nikki's stressed because she wants to make the flight, and any little error at this point it's like our whole plan becomes unraveled. And then it's this whole issue of getting flights were booked

and staying in London and all these things. So I understand why you felt that way, but it was like, I also have this thing when I'm a broad ware, I want, yes, I if I do something like unbecoming or untoward, I say, oh man, I can't wait to get back to uh Canada to eat some and so if I ever do yeah. So so like like if I'm if I'm walking on the wrong side of the sidewalk and almost run into somebody, and I was like, you know, sorry, you know that's not how we do

in Toronto. And so I'm always blaming things on Canada. But but when when people have your PM, yeah they know you're American. You just yeah, point your passport was there, and um, I will say the people that I go, yeah, take your time, they did have someone in a wheelchair with them, so that was like but the wheels of the way already it was. That was so I did feel and I like to give people in wheelchairs the same respect that they give everyone else, Like I'll definitely

hold Yeah. I don't like when people are a little bit more babyish with people in wheelchairs or people who are handicapped. I understand giving them space and like letting like holding doors for them, helping them and reaching a shelf, like I will go out of my way to do things that they literally can't do, But I'm not going to act like people in wheelchairs aren't still like assholes. And this person wasn't an asshole. It was the people

that were with them. But I think that because they had a person of wheelchair with them, they got to like be extra like we need more space, even though they did it, the person of the wheelchair was already on the go. And I just like to have a forty one year old man I have to carry around. You don't see me acting like an asshole. My little baby Chris Carlos carriers. Um. Okay, So that was our our episode about my surprise. Any other final thoughts about

the super Ees. Just how thankful I am to you And Hamish is like the funniest person alive and and also like the kindest, like like most thoughtful. He planned this whole trip and then the fact that you two teamed up to do something so extraordinary was just I'm so appreciative and I'm just so it was just one of the greatest things that around. And shout out to Vaughan for making it possible to and shout out to John for paying two ers that he didn't let me

reimburse him for of the lap dance. And then um to Hato, no, thank you, no, no, Hato actually found the strip club and so shout out to Hato for that. Thank you so much. And like everyone was just on board and gave us space. They weren't trying to make it about them, like we left, we didn't even have to say goodbye to them, like it was just a special night for us. And and also thank you to London and Holly and Cassandra and I mean Camilla and um and and Crystal and um. Also I don't know.

This is the problem, obaby, is that I don't know how to top it. Like last year I did a really good gift. The problem with Chris, well, yeah, well last year. I always, I, throughout our relationship, have tried to buy you gifts like shirts and like bags and stuff like that. I have never once bought you a tangible item that you have like used and actually used in your life. I think one time I brought you backpacks from like Robin's Craft, like Ravens Fieard or whatever,

and it was like a backpock. I knew you wanted, so I nailed it. But every other present has been a fail. Not because he's mean or anything. It's just sometimes you just don't get it right and or the sizing right. And I was looking at shirts to buy you. I was looking all these things and this was already when I had the surprise planned. I am giving up on tangible gifts for you. It's all going to be either old Conan sketch people surprising you that was the

present last year, or it's going to meet me. But I'm um, it's it's always got to be a gift for you. Because my friends on the What's app chat we're like, oh my god, you're such a good girlfriend. You do the best presence. I go. If I could buy him a shirt, I would, but I can't. So that's that's why it is. That's the last thing I would like to do if while I'm on the show, is give you a very public thank you, because it

was the greatest gift in the world. I needed you so bad and I wanted you to be there so badly, and I wanted you to meet those guys like you know, like you've met Hamis. She's like the greatest man alive. But but Guppy and John were so right, and I wanted that moment. And you heard me say that weeks and weeks and weeks ago, and you made it happen, and you you brought me. Nikki showed up. I didn't have a flight home. I didn't know what I was gonna do, so Nicky like showed up and just brought

me home. She paid for my flight home, got me seated next to her, and it was just, I don't know. It's really special and cool and he's about and we watched Liquorice Pizza and we hated it. I don't see it. It's overrated. Bad. Great performances, a lot of cool looking things, amazing performances. Philip Seymour Hoffman's son, definitely amazing. Um. He is going to be a tour to force. I'm using

that word a lot um. Also, a lot of him, A lot of him is the lead, amazing actress, filled with amazing actors shot beautifully Paul Paul Thomas and beautifully directed film, but the plot was a waste of my time, waste of our lives. It didn't make any sense. As a couple, we hated it. And also there's a pedophile like relationship that no one really comments on throughout the whole thing, and I like a similar story between me and Crystal's name. That's why we didn't like it. It It

was too raw for us, all right. So that's the show. Say one thing I had. It was my birthday the other day and I had besties reach out to me to say happy birthday. And it was so cool, you know, because I've only been on a show a few times to have those people reach out and say something so nice. So thank you to Andrew, Noah and Nikki for having such cool, amazing people in their lives that they reached out to me to say happy birthday. So thank you. You're a part of the show now and they love

you and happy birthday. Thanks. Great to see you, too, good to see you. Well that's the show, Thank you guys very much. Um, we will be back next week with another show, and um, hang tight while I'm recovering, and we might have some special stuff planned for you as I learn how to type. Um, we'll see and uh can't wait. Stay tuned, stay with us, keep subscribing and love you guys so much. Don't be cool and Jack Jack Gordon post post, Jack Post. Follow him on Instagram.

He's in front of our jackpost great posting. Yeah, he's killing it.