#267 It's Always In Me!

shopping in Boston. I did ask these women if they could cut it off, and they were like, oh, no, you have to go to the hospital. So I need like a little mini Jaws of Life. Yeah, I just it's people are concerned about it. Um. My stylist who gave it me it um the other night they were stiling me for Jimmy Kimmel and they just stacked some other rings around it. But it definitely does not go with the look, and they were not They were like,

is there any way to get it off? And I looked at them like, March eighth, do you think I keep thinking it will like slip off or like I'll just kind of like you know, take it off without really thinking about it. Like one day it's just gonna be off and we'll be like it's off off, but it's, um, it's not. It just will not go past my knuckle. And then there's another one I just put on last night, not really and it is a very sharp and sharp edges.

And so I've had to adjust my life around it because it's like we'll get it got caught in my hair a lot when I was using just shamp Now I just don't shampoo anymore. Um, you know, certain sex acts used to have it get in the way, and now it's just it's I've adapted. I just lift that finger delicately for all at who are you without it? At this point, it's like it's like a ribbon around. Yeah, if you take the ribbon off, your head falls off

and this middle finger comes off. Did you ever hear that like the most important finger is the pinky, like for gripping things? Interesting? No, I never knew that. I mean real, Yeah, I don't know. I feel like all your fingers to get rid of, that's the one to keep. Yeah, your pinky toe must have a lot to do with balance as well, but I don't know, we kind of you need them all, like your middle finger, yeah, is

the longest places for me. There's this football player. Yeah, there's a player who know his name is Ronnie Lott. And his finger got like frostbite. And it's like before the super Bowl, and they were like, either where you either you can't play or you gotta play a cast, or we're gonna cut your pinky off, and he liketed to cut the fucking pinky off with the knuckle to playing in the cast would be too because he was a safety. Would be hard to like play because you

need to use your hands somewhat. But still it's wild. Probably just get ripped off during the game anyway, I guess the cat, you know, like it would just get hurt. It would get hurt so bad in the game. How a week later, he was like, I don't know if that was a good decision, like, like, I mean, it's pretty ballsy, I guess. I mean so many times decisions for like the super Bowl or like a role they're doing,

people don't forget that no one cares. Like the super Bowl becomes almost obsolete afterwards, like do you remember who won five years ago? I mean, I'd have to think hard about it. I remember more who won like twenty years ago, more than five years ago. Like that I cared about it more when I was a kid, right, do you care about the halftime show as a kid?

The commercials I did? That was like as a family friend though, And I never really like lying at their house, oh, because it was just like a yeah, I don't know, you know how your family, like your parents have friends and it's like now they have to be your friends. And it's like I had no choice. And even there, your parents fought before you went there because I'm like I don't want to go this year, and it was like we gotta go. We go every year. It is

like I just want to stay home. Like that's another thing added to going to parents friend's houses, like the stress of your parents before you go. You kind of see your mom like getting ready and you're like why do women take so long to get ready? Because you're a kid. You're just like you don't wear makeup, you don't do your hair, and you're like you just you. You start to notice like a dynamic of like really catholic and it was very stale in there. You know.

It was just a very stale you know, like no one was really loud or like, I'm not everything christ yeah, stale, yeah, everything everything. Oh my god, were they so scandalized when um, what's her name is? Titty came out? They all actually killed him correct style, dude. But you do have to be friends with your parents friends kids. Like that's like, oh, yeah, I know your friends with Johnny now because I worked with you know, Diane for a year, so now you're

best friends. Just like, I fucking hate Johnny. He threatens me with a knife. He's not a good guy. One of our family friends. He kind of beat me up on the school bus one time. He like shoved my head into the seat and uh but he shipped his pants all the time, so we probably made fun of him for that, and I probably deserved it, to be honest, there's always another side to the shoving your face into

a bus seat story. I told you that story about the guy that he he was beating me up on the bus and then he got off the bus and my brother threw him like for me, like up for me. And then a couple of years later he killed somebody, so I got beat up. Was there a boombox involved? Yeah, he hit this old lady with a boom box and then lit her on fire and then spray painted her. And then your painting. Lucky to have avoided any of that backlash. Your brother. How how many years later did

he do that to the he spray painted her? How much time did he have? I mean, I don't know. It was like his sisteenth Chapel six. I don't know, he was fifteen or sixteen. She was mad at him because he was playing wrap and she was like turn it down, and he's like, I'll turn it off on your head. That's why you don't. And then his family went the water people. Yeah, did he get I think you tried to get off on like mental illness, but

I think he's still in jail. Um the earned the pizzeria in town I remember little johnnies Orth or no I forget the name of it, but always always best, you know, burn your pizza, wrap it on the head. It was terrible. It was terrible, terrible. And he had they, you know, he had a cousin named sal who just beat up everybody like it's weird, Like kids were just allowed. I think they still probably do, right, Like, there's still a lot of plenty of bullying going on. Everyone's like

there's no bullies left. I don't think it's still fine. I think it's pretty rampant still. It's really about like the teachers who just like kind of let it happen. That was a big thing. Sorry to drop it, but Columbine where like all the administrators just knew that bullying was happening, and that like everyone loved the jocks so much.

It was just like it doesn't matter, like and the kids reporting bullying would be pointless because the jocks will always have it will always be you were taunting them with your weird outfits, like if you don't want to be bullied, stop being goth. Was I could see teachers, like now that I'm older and insecure, that they would want the kids to think they're cool, like they want

the jocks to be like I love Mr Dude. That's why a lot of them go back to teach is because they want to like you know, yeah, they want to rewrite it. That the same thing that um my

therapist alway says about our relationships. You're just trying to live out the story you told yourself about yourself and as a child, but you want to actually win this time, so like you'll get into the same dynamic that you have with your mom or dad, but this time you're going to disprove the thing that they always made you think of yourself. Like I'm gonna, okay, so I'm gonna date this guy, and I'm gonna I'm gonna get him to love me, even though he's just like my dad

who never loved me. I'm going to get him to love me, and then it will prove that I am lovable even to someone who says an asshole as my dad and that what. Yeah, these people go back and teach, and a lot of them I think have that agenda of wanting to go back. I mean, I know I kind of did like being at the moments I was like a teacher. There was a part of me that wanted so badly for the cool kids to like me. Still. I mean it was twenty four, so I was still

a little bit of a kid myself. But um, there were you would think about, like fucking, I don't know if Jeff thinks I'm cool, Like like later at night, like when you go home, like was there like a few kids in particular that you're like, I just don't think I'm getting to him. Also like I mean, I'm

fucking cool, dude, I'm sucking. I'm still with Like, I don't know, I would think like there would be something like I really hated when they thought I was lame, you know, and when like come on, Like I would take away their phones eventually because I started out as cool and then they walked all over me, and then they would always be on their phones, not listening at all.

And one day I just snapped and you could tell they were just like, you know, Nick teacher used to be cool and now she you know, that's what they called me because it was a Korean prep school, and it was like all of a sudden, they were like, whoa, She's insane because I was not being you know, yeah, I wasn't being consistent, and um, yeah, there was a couple of kids that I just always remember. Um, it was a triumph of a year, even though I did

not probably do the best job. I was teaching them how to write um five paragraph essays because they were in eighth grade and they were about to go to ninth grade, and some of them did not know how

to do. That was the that was the problem with teaching is like the level of the kids that know that, the smart kids know so much, and the kids that aren't no like second grade level, like not even and you're you're supposed to be getting them prepared for high school and you're like, how do I teach all these people at the same time when some of them don't even know how to write and others are like, you know,

ready to work on college. I say, so that was like this tough part, but there was we had to do a persuasive essay. And one day there was, like I think a couple of weeks before that was due, they were teasing one kid and um or they said something was gay or you know, they were just making fun of gay and gay, gay gay, And I was just like, can we just all think about it for

a second. And I sold that David crossbit, which was, um, why would someone want to be The thing that is, if if you think gay is a choice, you think that people, I was like, let's go to the root of it. You think these that a gay kid wants

to be gay? And they're like yeah, And I was like, Okay, why so that you can make fun of them, so that they have to like hide who they are, and like why would you want why would you make that up so that you so that you think they're disgusting and all these like and it kind of got through to them of like, oh, maybe it's not a choice, which was not you know, not the greatest lesson, and

it's more about like it should be. It's like you should want to be gag being gay is awesome, which is now obviously how I feel, but at the time I was just like the way to get through these kids is like think about make it so that they can see that it could be them too, like these kids did, and so they don't remember Anderson and there it stops them in their tracks. You like make them like just pause and like think, and then it disrupts

whatever they were doing, like the bullying cycle. It does because it's all based on them thinking that that person shows to be that way. It stops everything. They want attention for being or they get attention, even if it's a little publican process of like they want attention and it's like because I'm not getting attention for living my boring life, so then their life is a little bit

more interesting. And now I don't get attention, and they're getting attention, and what are they doing except for just pretending to be girl when I want. You know, it's like that a whole rabbit hole, it is. And I just remember one of the kids for his essay he turned in and he was one of the original, like you know, gay sayers, and he said, um, I wrote my Fiberica essay about why um people don't choose to

be gay because nicky teacher inspired me. And I was like, God, this kid's going in high school and he's not going to call people gay, like he's going to stand up for key people. Like it was like, now I'm only I'm gonna lean into the racism because homophobia was a whole run on sentence. And he said very very like like a thousands, but I did not give a ship sons of the spellings he spelled gay G E, I, D H. But I was like A plus bunny, a plus. But it is true, like you can apply that to anything.

Whenever my dad is like Matt gets upset with my mom forgetting something like she'll he'll be like, you'll remember that she just told that story. Do you remember, and I go, do you think mom chose to forget it? Do you think that she purposely went in her brain and was like, I'm not gonna remember that? Then why are you upset? You really can't get upset with anyone unless you think they actually maliciously chose to do the thing,

you know, like it happens. Yes, an ethical question. Can I get mad at my dad if he doesn't want to get a hearing aid and I get upset every time I have to repeat literally everything to that, thank you? Yes, there's an easy fix. Well, what is does he have to pretend sometimes that he does know what you're saying because he knows, he just says what because it represents him aging? I think so CAUs probably to get your ears fixed. I mean it depends how what you need.

Some people need like a full on ocular implant, and it's fucking insanely expensive. But I don't know. Do you ever have your headphones in like the noise clansling ones and you can't hear fucking anything? I mean, air pods cancel out everything, and you hear someone kind of say something to you, but then you know that they know that you have your air pods in so you don't even look to go huh because it's like in an elevator and you don't really want to talk to anyone,

and you get to play deaf. Oh mama likes that. I love when it's it reminds me of how it's going to be when I can't talk, Like, yes, I have an excuse not to have these kind of meaningless

social interactions that people want to have. Like sometimes I will admit, like I'll be walking by a crowd and someone and I just know I get recognize or something and it'll be like Nick, It'll just be like the slightest Nikki, And I won't turn around because I'm like, if you want me, you better yell my name, like yeah, grabbed by the pussy want Yeah, Like they just these little like you're like, I don't feel it because I have my headphones in. I really yeah, yeah. Like the

headphones are great. They really cancel out everything you can hear, like the little bones in my ear and my jaw that's all I can hear. Sometimes sometimes I just leave them in and don't have music in. I wish you could just be selectively deaf and selectively you know. It's the choice, then people think you're rude. You need to have them in to be like I can't hear you. That's why I used to like having like gigantic Beats headphones because then people know with with you know, the AirPod,

sometimes your hair covers it. And people are rather be deaf or blind deaf because blind people get a blind why can we google that? I could have swore that, like it would surprise me when I remember I looked it up, and it would be so sad because of music. But I know that they can feel vibrations and still

have a good time. But just in terms of getting around that, I would just want to still even well, even though that would be a good reason to stay in bed all day and not really leave your house, but then you would get so depressed, but I would I would miss music a lot. Wow, Andrews correct about that. I mean, yeah, actually this is from the n i

H so almost six considered blindness worse than deafness. Yeah. Yeah, people, I don't think they're thinking this through no offense to blind people out there, but that would be really tough. I mean, I mean, how many performers do we know that our deaf we know well to blind before, Like we don't know that many blind performances performing would be easier because when you're deaf, your voice changes. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Okay, so maybe I couldn't perform, right,

That's what I'm saying. But most people don't perform, Yeah, like they weren't doing in an interview on people I'm thinking about, like, yeah, still do stand up blinds. There's a reason not to go blind. Um, I would want to do anything that would keep me uh no, I would deaf deaf for sure, and that not that I want to be deaf, but I feel like the deaf community is like really tight and they're like they are really proud to be deaf. And there's other ways to communicate.

Of course, there's other ways, like we can use brail and stuff like that, but um, if you're blind, but I just I don't know, and we're all going blind slowly. I mean, I can't drive at night, my my sight, I don't have my context in right now, and it's not a pretty world. Um that worry you at all? That like you're slowly blinding, like going blind, like no, because it's just like natural age. It's not like it's getting dark. It's not like I'm just gonna be black out.

My eyes are good, my hearing will go. I'm sure because my aunt's deaf. She has an ocular implant, and like she's always like, why my dad is just he does your dad have classes? Yes? He does, and my mom wears reading glasses. But yeah, I don't know. My grandpa Marvin was deaf, not deaf, but just needed hearing implants. I would what is it from DoD they listen to loud music. I don't know. He loved fucking He loved

classical music. That's all he listened to. I'm like, I wonder if he was very smart, and I think classical music like you have to have either you have to be smart to enjoy it or it makes you smart. But I think it's the first one. Yeah, if he was listening to classical, you would respect him instantly, even if he was dumb as ship. You'd be like, man, this guy knows something that I don't. At least I would. I would be like, oh, he's just listening to mos

Hart or whatever, like yeah, forty five. I used to go to my grandpa, why don't you like lyrics? And he's like, I just it is weird. I would want to know why don't they like lyrics? Well know that to Noah doesn't care about lyrics either. Do you like classical music, Noah, I had a phase when I was listening to it, but I couldn't cite number forty five.

I couldn't helme it. There's something to like listening to classical and being like, okay, now I should do some kind of long equation or read something about like physics, you know, And then I just put it on and I'm just watching TikTok on silent, you know what I mean, Like, but you can't do something very dumb listening to the class and trying to think when you listen to music. Let's come back and we'll talk about more about musically. You get back to the break. When do you listen

to music? Though, I listen to music while you're on TikTok. No, No, I'm just thinking, like something very dumb that I do. Yes, yes, that's probably the dumbest thing I do. But yeah, do you listen to music on the golf course when you're playing golf? Do you listen? I don't like when you work out in a class and so that's the music they choose. Choose When do you listen to music in

the car? When I drove here five hours and I fucking missed an exit and added another hour to my drive another hour, I mean, like thirty minutes wait for one exit. That doesn't make sense. Well I went past it for a while, okay, So it wasn't just like we'll see oh, no, another hour. It was down the road. You just daydreaming. You're going over your side daydreaming. Did you think if you're at the entire time? No, I actually I've been pretty good about keeping my brain not

going insane about it. But I've gone over to a couple of times. It's hard to go. I don't know. I mean, you know you are, You've done it so many times. But when you do an hour, it's like, do I do it in segments? Because to sit down and just talk to yourself for an hour it's a lot. You know, it's not you will be You don't think, no, you do it. You do it every night for fifteen minutes.

Just add that times four. It's the same thing. You don't there's no but when you do, you start from the beginning, When you work on your hour in your brain, or do you go, here's one segment, here's one segment I'm gonna remember. I mean, you have an insane memory. I'm pretty good too, but I think I just um yeah, well no, I think it all just goes one one thing together, like I'll just start here and then end

up here. But you can totally mix and match it though, too, because you know it's you're not you can mix and match. You're going to clip it up anyway. The only people that are going to see it as a whole unit are not like reviewing it for a Broadway run, you know what I mean. So you can you can mix it up. Just have it on a sheet just in case you forget. Yeah, I'm actually here at the club already practicing. No, but I really meant the green in

the green room. Why because the internet wasn't working at the You've been at that condo across the street. Yes, yes, yes, they have chairs and do you remember that. I think they were there when we were there. They have a chair just like a cock chair in the bedrooms at the condo. Like these comedy condos, if you've never been to them, they have enough money to get new sheets like they have like sheets from Yeah, I probably brought those sheets because I used to always bring sheets condos

because that's smart disgusting. Yeah, god fuck I should have thought they wash them though. Yeah, no, they do a good Yeah. Yeah. There's a comic condo across the street in Nashville, um that it's been used for probably at least fifteen years that I've been going there, and really is a cool club here, Like it feels like there's a lot of history. I mean, get Lucy's gonna listen

to it. She'll book you again. We don't need to talking about you should on the condos And you're like, but no, really, there's a lot of history here that is so sweet and she's so and she's like the way that they handle like comics and take care of us. You know, it just means a lot to me because it makes me better on stage because I'm able to relax and just really just think about my set and not like what's going to happen? Oh my god, I

say it like condo with um Hayzew's trey home. When I were to me, I think I got a hotel maybe just me and a meal were there? Yeah, you and a meal were there. My parents have been over that condo. We spoke to wed with Doug Benson in that condo one time. I've stayed the condo probably six times. Um, I like have thrown up in that toilet upstairs? Is that the b is that the one you have? It was so beliemic one weekend there. Oh god, it was so disgusting. I hit a real bad bottom in that

fucking bathroom. Oh my god, which one on the I'll go look, I'll take a phone. It's definitely been cleaned up since then, but man, it was. There are some rough goes at that kind of because it's so just so depressing staying with a bunch of comics that you don't know all weekend and the club is right across the street, which is nice, but it's just it was such a that what a weird time to just go go and you show up and whoever the headliner is, you're just staying at a house with them all weekend.

There's one time enough for other clubs or is it only in Nashville? No, they do it. Uh it was that way, and it's that way in a ton of places, but um, like in Cincinnati and uh, Orlando, Tampa, UM, Richmond, Virginia. UM. The one that I stayed in UM in Wisconsin. God, what is the name of that club is called Skyline, But it was a small club and I stayed with

this guy for his name was Jeff. He was the headliner, and he came home one day and he was on the couch in his boxers on his laptop, but his laptop was covering his boxer, so he just like he was naked. I mean, it was so weird. There was one I stayed with a guy who had his my Space girlfriend come visit, and she fucking hated me because she was so jealous that there was like another girl there and this is supposed to be her weekend with her boyfriend. And he was so so overweight he couldn't

move but once a day to walk to stage. It was so weird. Yeah, it was. And I would go to these places and just cry because of the sheets were so I mean, a lot of these condos the condo and Nashville is nice, but a lot of these condos dirty, dirty, dirty, And you would just always wonder around the condo and be scared to open um the

closets because I would always be scared. The Feature Act what had hung himself the week before, and every time I opened the closet, I'd be like, I think there's going to be a dead body in here, because this is too depressing to have survived this weekend. Oh it was grim, but I know yours has been. People have probably died in there. They were Nashville would probably check on the Feature Act, but yeah, someone's probably there have been crazy things happening in that condo before. A lot

of drugs, a lot of drugs. Um, no, cool things are happening. I'm so fucking boring. I was like in bed at like ninety watching Hulu like a little bit, um Tyson, there's a moving on. Are you, um you know Mike Tyson? Yeah, I do know Mike Tyson. But there's been Yeah, another bio fucking show. It's actually great. It really is like surprisingly great. Well, I've watched When Harry Met Sally for like the hundredth time the other night. It's now on Netflix. God damn it. It's so good.

I love. It's like comfort food. It's like it's just feels so good going down the whole the whole movie. There's so many things I picked up on that. I didn't think see the first time. Um, throughout the movie, you see that Sally is in love with Harry. I never saw that before. I was thought Harry was going

after Sally. But there's so many times now that I'm catching where Sally was just like like so in love with Harry and it was like so apparent, yes gazing, And I love those little nuggets that you find later on up on the watch of something God, that movie holds up. It's so good. I love that you watch that movie like you're figuring out usual suspects, but it's

just a romantic like comedy of like two people. Know a minute forty three you could see that she blinks twice and you'll know that she fucking wants to blow like y, there was so funny like that. I'm gonna watch it. Probably a guy settle or no, yes, for sure, I mean they're both up there. But um, I love a Billy Crystal. He's just so good in it and so detached in that. No. No, but it's interesting like a leading man back then was not that a track. He wasn't that a track, Like I wasn't turned up

by Tom Hanks though, either. I was more turned. You know, I'm more like into the love story of it, you know, of like, oh they're sweet, Oh he loves her so much. But I'm not like horny for Hanks, he wasn't hot and if he was too hot, em was m castaway when he finally went back for Helen Hunt and then he's pulling away in the car and then she starts chasing after his car and then they get out of the car and she's like, I love you. I loved

you the whole time. And she's like, but she's now married to this other guy and she has a kid. Oh god, she thought he was dead. Oh my god, that is so good. I love a movie where they don't end up together. I love it together. And you've never seen a nope, no, I know that's like I wrote you every day, and I know that they hated each other. Well, very similar to what you said. Well, it's in the rain, and she like jumps out, yeah, it's over, It's never over. And then they fucking make

out in the rain and then why is that so good? Girl? And Ryan's on top. It's weird. It's weird, all right, let's get to the news. It's been a while folks, it's Wednesday. You know what that means? It is Wednesday or is it Thursday? I don't know exactly, but I have we're having but it's actually Tuesday, because Tuesday in our world. Yeah, we're honest on the show, but it's Wednesday news time. All right. Are you guys interested in what people are stealing from Manhattan restaurants? Sure? I mean

I'm guessing salt and pepper and napkins. Um. Yes, especially things with logos with logos yep, like dishes, glasses, stuff like that, knives, also candles from the bathroom that have been lit, so when people put them in their bag, that means like the wax is probably falling all over the bag. Soap bottles. People are such losers. Taylor's probably doing some of this outdoor lamps. Taylor has two candles

in her hand right now. I was looking at the chairs in my lobby of my hotel because there's like a side entrance where there's no one, there's no like people there. But pulled up a pickup truck and had a mask on and just ran in, grabbed these chairs through them in the back, peeled off. No one would catch you, saying and then ten minutes before that you have the same outfit on, but now you just have a mask, and they're like, lady, like we saw you earlier without a mask. I don't from the ring on

your finger. Like those those cloth napkins. The other day, I came home and I found one in our laundry and I was like, where did this come from? I mean, I think Andrew used to steal towels from hotels, and I pretty quickly you don't do that. I think a lot of people do that and think that that's okay. Because something is in plentitude somewhere doesn't mean that it doesn't need to be replenished and that they don't own it. You know what I'm saying the man dude, No, it

works when Taylor says that I don't know about you. Yeah, I don't know about you, damn it. I thought I said it confident enough. The other day, it was that Jimmy kimmel Um green room and there was a pen that I was like, Oh, I really like this pen, and I threw it to my bag and I go, no, this is not my pen. Who do you think you are?

This is not your pen. This is their pen. And I put it back, and I was proud of myself because it was just one of those things where you go everything because I was, you know, taking all the snacks that they had gotten for me, and I was those are things that are mine to have. And then I was like, oh, I like this pen and I threw it and I was like stop this. This is this is what a person thinks, an entitled person thinks that everything in a place is. There's this why people

steal at restaurants. They actually think that it's theirs or that well, I ate with it, it's mine. I want people to get caught so badly stealing silverware. That is such a chacky loser thing to do. What's the last thing you stole? Honestly? Yeah, good question. When I got caught, I think urban out. Yeah it was two thou four. I was nice. Uh yeah two either fall of two thousand four of spring of two thousand five. Yeah. Um, it was just a bunch of ship that I didn't have.

Tags that will get rid of the crank in your neck. Yeah, maybe I need to let go of that. NOE was saying that the fact that I can't turn my neck, I really don't know what people do when they have this kind of thing where it's like, you know, I'm in bed going like like what do you do for this? I thought it was gonna go away overnight. It didn't go away, but it's one of those things that I

will go away like tomorrow. The next day, you'll just forget about it, and then well you'll just like the pain isn't so bad that you'll remember it, and then it's gone. It's just gone. It's like a hangover, Like you'll forget about it so you don't think about how to fix it. I guess this is growing up. The it's already to tell me why my neck is so manly.

It's this is just something that happens to like and ever, like last night at the comedy store, people kept coming up to me and hugging me, and I'd be like, they'd like press it, but I would just like let him do it, because I'm just like just act like you're healthy, act like your neck is fine. I know. That's one of the things in the back book that I read that's like, don't baby it. Don't go like oh delicate, because then it knows to like scream if you treat it. Like a little baby. So I've been

trying to be like, just act like it's normal. Turn your like if you get one of those things, the guns they're gun I didn't, I know, I was thinking about going to get Yeah, I kind of want someone to just like torture and dig into it out of the other side, to like even it out. I don't know how this happens. They say it's like, oh you leave. Yeah, it's not that, And it's something psychological for sure, because I sleep the same way every single night and this

would happen way more often. There's no sleeping wrong. Is just the cop out for people who don't want to address emotional issues, which it totally is. And I just don't know what those emotional issues are though, trying to figure it out. Okay, next news story, please all right. A woman almost died during an orgasm when a sex position popped her a order. She stated that her legs were pressed against her chest during the orgasm when she felt a pop in her chest with this radiation feeling

to her back neck. Yeah, a jorda is the blood vessel that connects to the heart. That's like, I think in that area and it's like chest area. She was rushed. She was rushed to the emergency room um of her local hospital after suffering from a stabbing chest pain with a ten out of ten level. The patient had a path medical Sorry, no, I'm just kid. She probably slept wrong, he said, I mean, do you finish your orgasm then

just die? Or do you go? Okay? We should probably like I could see you going keep part of the orgasm, Like was it because my friend stroke? First? That was

very very stroke. She had lyme disease, but it was so it's a was a vascular condition already, and then a stroke sent the blood like sturging too much, and she had she went a little bit blind from it, and then she went and got tested and they she cut a call from the stroke clinic being like so it's the stroke clinic calling back and she's like wait why and they're like, you had a stroke and she's like what And it was from an orgasm because it's just such a surge of chemicals and blood that like,

your whole system gets really fucked. But so it was just from her leg. If this woman's leg pushing against her a order, it's gotta be tough, like the most the best thing in life is ruined in a way for you to at least you're going to be afraid for a while, you know what I mean, it's the best. My friend was so scared for so long to associate fucking a stroke with a orgasm or a heart attack. It's fucking wild. I mean, I guess people have heart attacks all the time playing sports, so I guess you

could think of but until it happens to you. I'm sure a lot of people died during sex. But orgasms are so intense. I mean, we discovered this yesterday. Maybe not as intense for men as it as for women, but it is such a an event inside your brain and like your body that I can't imagine things not going wrong, if if things aren't working right, like it just it's like a storm. It's like a lightning storm inside your body, like someone's got things are going to happen.

When they say a thin line between love and hate, like love is the orgasm and they hate is you dying, And it's so close to each other, it's wild. When you're kind of having an orgasm, do you want to like bask in it and talk about it or you kind of like, let's move on to the next thing. M M. It depends, I guess. I don't know. It depends how the orgasm happened. If we both had an orgasm, if it you know, it's how quickly are You're you

doing the next thing? Um? I get up pretty quick to clean off because I just don't like come to sitting on me. But is has come sitting on you most of the time. I'm guessing that you're either I don't come in her, so I know, But like, who doesn't just get it in their mouths so you don't have to clean it up every time? Other women don't do that. I literally cannot. I'm not trying to be grossier. I cannot remember the last time I've never seen I have not seen come in years I did. It's always

in me. Well, why wouldn't it be? It's easy clean up. Why would you want it on your stomach when you could just swallow it? Honestly, answer this for me someone I don't know, Man, I don't know, dude. I yeah, it depends on who you with, I guess, but yeah, a little bit here, a little bit there, it's easier. But where do you usually go? Can you say? I just usually go on on on, like it depends on what we're but yeah, I just pull out and I either go on her somewhere or I go on myself.

If i'm I'm not talking about just Brenna in general, any woman just turn around and get it in your mouth, and then you can just go back to sleep. You don't have to go to the shower and clean off. You don't have to. You can literally just roll over and go to sleep. Take a sip of water. Do you ever like swallow right now? Because I feel like this is an efficiency thing that other people are doing

the role. I used to do that too, I think just now sometimes they get lazy about it and it's easier to carry it over to the sink in my mouth, oh and spit it out instead of swallow. But if it's already in your mouth, that you already are dealing with the worst part the swallowing is not the word just across the room. So that Yeah, you know, I had a girlfriend. She put down a towel for us. When I funk I pull out, I'd have to come on the towel like she'd put it underneath it on you.

As long as it's not on you, because then you just have to go clean yourself off. I just want to be able to roll over. I don't want to go to the harsh lighting in the bathroom and like clean up, like I don't want to see myself afterwards and convenience. Yeah yeah, I just swallow if if he shoots it in you, I'm not wearing his foot nut. Okay, interesting, that makes sense. I'm not putting it where you can get pregnant. Muster. Yeah, can I miss so you know

it's gone somewhere my armpit. And this is a general Yeah, I'm talking about God the royal he yeah, yeah, capital h. I just I really feel like confused for a while. And you haven't seen common years is so funny. I haven't. I honestly don't know what it looks like anymore. Yeah. I think some people like to. Yeah, people like seeing what they created. They like seeing it come out of the like a volcano. They like seeing the eruption. I

see it. I see it because it's like about me go on, And sometimes I like it from like a like a shrimp at a Benny Hannah, like he shot from far away. Yeah, I'm like a dolphin, Like I don't know I just don't understand so because then it gets on the bed sometimes, right, Like if you're just putting it on her stomach or something, it can get it can over shoot and get on the bed. Yeah. I think it's kind of hot to ejaculate on someone, you know, Okay, I like I used to word ejaculate.

I got tired of saying comment. I was just like scientific this, Like I listened to fucking classical al right, next next news story. Alright, well, should have to have sex to classical music and and talk about it on the totally do that. That would be so fun. I think, I bet it would make it so fun. It would It would make you feel like you're in Briton. Yeah, you know, it made me feel like I was trying

to conceive an air. Maybe I wouldn't swallow it. We should do it in like candle light and like, but don't tell our significant others that it's we're setting never listen to music, so that would be very bizarre. The one time I'm like hold on and I get out an old grammophone player. Yeah, you start with like Joe to see and they're like, do you listen to music?

Sometimes the strokes is fun to have sex to. Like, sometimes you'll get in the rhythm when you're you're just like, you're just like sheeh, But then you start sucking to the beat, and then you get so involved in the sucking to the beat that you forget that you're almost sucking like you do you put it on before or will you like start like you'll know you're gonna have sex to you like queue up the music, because I feel like sex so much happens impromptu that it's not

so much of a cue. It's more of a like a minute in and then you go, hey, you know, it's kind of quiet in here, and we hear a lot of slurps. Yeah, I'm always having sex in the silence. I don't know why that is. And I feel like it's to be dark either. I like to hear everything, and I like to see everything. I don't like the dark, but I do want to be in an elevator conversation. Don't want to hear, don't want to see, no nothing. All right, we'll take a break and we'll come back

with why do I care? All right? Why do I care? Why do I care? Harry Styles has the perfect response after getting pelted with cold chicken nuggets during a Madison Since Square Garden show. I don't ate chicken. I don't ate meat, and it's cold. Yes, yeah, this is cold, and I am I'm assuming very old up. He picked it up and then back right. Yeah, and then there. I think it's going to be a new thing that people like throw it on stage and it's so gross.

But he said deliberately, I don't eat chicken. I don't eat meat, and I love him for it. He vegan champion. Yeah, and it's not true. It was disproven. Um he's the best. I frecking love that kid. He is, Um, I and everyone has oppinion about him and Olivia Wilde and there's like so much, so many rumors going around around about this new film therein it does look so good. Yeah, so yeah, Olivia Wilde apparently said she fired Child above. Shila Boff was like, um, that's not how it went

down at all. He wrote like a very diplomatic kind letter, being like I wish he's so much success with this movie, but we both know I was not fired. And then he sent a video that she sent him being like, Shylock, please figure out how to make this work. And she called like, you know the other girl in the movie that's not doing bess for the movie, Florence Florence Pugh,

she called her miss Low. She was like, I wonder how you and miss Flow, Like she had some kind of attitude when she said, Miss Flow, why Olivia Wilde would send a video to shyl La Buff and why Olivia wild would lie about anything that might stoke the flames that are shy a La Buff? Like do not what just say that you went your separate ways? Like that guy is cuckoo pants, Like you know, I would not.

She had to have seen that coming. So now it's like, now this movie is getting so much pressed for the fact that none of them are going to do press for it because it's so fraught. So apparently Florence Pugh was like annoyed that they put Harry Styles in place of um, well, I guess she didn't like Shila both in the first place, but then she didn't like Harry Styles because Olivia and Harry were having a relationship which apparently did not really take place until after the fact,

which I believe. But everyone is just hates Olivia Wilde because they're so fun being jealous that she's with Harry Styles. Every woman wants to be with Harry Styles. I don't care who you are. Every woman is so attracted to him. And you're jealous. You're jealous, and so you've gotta hate Olivia Wilde. But and then you have to make her out to be a bad mom and Jason Stadeikis she hurt him. You don't know what you're talking about, and neither do I. But I guarantee you that Jason Stadeikis

isn't a fucking angel in this either anyway. And she makes a good point that whenever people see Jason Stadekis with his kids, they're like, he's an amazing father, look at him. And anytime she is not with her children, she's a terrible mother. And it's like it's this you know, double standard that is just there. It's so many examples of it, Like he is with he is not with his kids way more than she is not with her kids.

If you look at it, and it's it's excusable because he's a father and she's a mother and she's supposed to be she's not supposed to be working all the time and gallivanting with this young boy. It's like it's her boyfriend so jealous. Does a director and a producer have to be diplomatic and be a little bit like, oh, you know, I'm talking to you like this, I'm going to be kind to you. I'm gonna be kind of this person. So then you feel like you've been warranted

and like it happens all the time. But it's a woman caught on video doing it like she it's not that bad. She was just trying to make everything okay. Everyone, these celebrities, you're all such hypocrites. You all do it, including myself. We've all been gross versions of ourselves trying to manipulate a situation or and by the way, every single celebrity couple you know got together on a set, stop acting so scandalized that this director prayed on her talent.

Do you know how many directors and cast members end updating all of them, all of them, And it's just so happens that this woman is getting the brunt of it because she's a woman and he is a man, and he's younger. It's like, leave them alone, let them be. They're so cute, and you know what, first of all, he kind of is, but also they are they feel like private. They keep their relationship private. They're not asking for any of this, and they're not putting anything out

there for people their judge. They're not at all. And but girls are so every woman I know is Brenna into Harry styles too. She likes him. She's not like so she's holding it back. But every single girl is touching themselves to Harry dead and old guy. I think she's into that. That's why I tell myself women are hiding it hard because they don't want to be the girl that likes the guy from one direction that wears dresses.

But women are chisen in their pants all day long for this guy out and the women are so attracted to him, and they're so jealous of her. It would really suck. I think to be that is dating the most desirable guy in the world. People are taking off their anger that they have towards child above for abusing I forget, I forget the twigs on like they like, take that anger and then they shift it her that she's like almost just as bad as the one doing the abuse. It's just like you know what I mean,

Like I don't know it felt. It feels very like I've had some crazy women DM me voice metmos of like, I thought you were on our side, Nikki. We have talked and we see that you have liked so and so's video and then you still follow him. Oh my god, are you serious like sounding like that, honey? If you me on your side, that is not the tone to get it. Like I have been, I go, oh, I

get white people. Stop listening to these women like that is how you're going to approach me, having kind of uh a shift of the how I who I'm friends with or who I support, Like, I'm sorry, Tiffany hattch is out there at Chris Brown's concert being like, baby, I love you, praise Chris Brown. Is she getting any blowback from that yet? I still I am friends with someone on Instagram who allegedly maybe it's just like and I'm not even friends on it because you follow someone

on Instagram. I think they're funny. Some of the Something to Do was funny. I'm not supporting what they do, but I had this woman right to me in that voice, that same voice, Nikki. It has noted, it is noted. I know it's terrible for my voice, It's fine. It wasn so insane. I like I can't even this is the easiest way for me to just not listen to you woman like this. I'm not then I'm done like this is this is not how we're going to how I'm going to come to my senses. But um, yeah

that was that's a in law. It's fine. Stop following, Matt alright, final thought, we gotta go. Um it's been a good show. Um any any final thoughts? Uh, you know, Lucy is just such a good like booker. Oh my god, Like look around the history, you know, just all these guys on the wall. Have you seen the candy jars there? They do have good candy in there. Oh my god, we just lost him. He literally pulled out his plug,

showing us a video of the green room. He pulled out the ether deck word Well, Andrew goes sing in Nashville yesterday. Uh yes, did you get any of the company. Honestly, they have the I'll tell you this about Lucy. She has the best. There's gatorade, beers, all the candy. Yeah. Anyhow, I'm here way too early. Yeah. Wait, you're not there to do your show yet. I wouldn't be surprised. Andrew

really likes to get there early. It's oh my god. Well, UM, you can't see Andrew anymore because this is actually happening on Wednesday and the show was Tuesday. But I hope you made it out there. But you can come see me this Friday in Vegas. Um Benedict Plsy will be there from um Foight Island. Anya Marina will be there. It will be my last show before I have my vocal cords are wrapped out. UM, so please come out and see it. And uh, I would love it. Um,

thank you guys for listening to the show. We'll be back tomorrow. And Jack Creature Jack Lucy is great. Top it. I do love Lucy. It's too much