#253 Myth...

in the train put on the llama's notes. I think it's gone. We think it's gone. I was gonna get it up with will you wait get in there? It ship goes away? Okay. I regret writing Amazon. They told me had to return it. I was like, I'm not touching that thing. No, it burn the fucking packaging. Yeah, and Amazon famously if you return anything to them, they throw it away. It ends up in landfills. Whatever you return. I like that was like our version of eating spaghetti together.

That's what I said. It was. With those sunglasses Andrew has on fourth of July sunglasses. Did you get those on the fourth Cardinals game. Oh really, it's like the prize that they gave you know, I bought them. I mean, it wasn't expensive. They're not polarized. They might be polarizing, yeah, if you know what I mean, because people either hate them or they really hate them. Well, I think if anything really pro if you're a guy wearing like an America flat like for a for a cape, people think

that's a little much. Um. I was trying to test Chris's vision the other day because he's like, I think I need to get glasses for the first time ever, and so I started like asking him. We were just like at the gate, and so I was staring out at the airfield and I'm like, what about that, Like can you read what's on that? And he was like, I think it's as flammable, but I just kind of know that it would say flammable you know, or like you know, bags only or whatever it is. And so

and then I was like, what about that? How many stripes are on that flag? It was American flag? Do you know what he stripes on the flag? How many I'd have to see it? I would say, it's uh, fuck, it's not it's fifty stars, and then it's I think it's the original colonies maybe, so sixteen stripes not bad though, why don't they end on a unlucky number? They should have just done one more? Do you think it was unlucky? Then? When did thirteen be came? Probably later because of which

is and which just came after colonies? Yeah, four colonies. Colonies were like Jamestown, which trials, that was all after we settled. They were burning witches and they used to do that thing of like they would drown you, and if you survived, you are a witch. And if you drowned, they knew you weren't a witch. So either way you're fucked,

you know what I mean? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, wait, so they drowned, so like if they suspected you were a witch, they would like tie like a fucking thing to your leg and throw you in the water, and if you were able to like float up and survive or somehow get out of it, you were a witch and it confirmed it. And then they would maybe burn you or whatever, and if you drown they'd be like, oh wow, what see, yes she was immortal not immortal? Yeah, Um, how does

the witch become? Is it just a woman? That got a little loud and we don't do you know? It was all they fled for their like the Puritans fled to have religious freedom, to be religious fucking insane people. So like anything that would go against religion, which was witchcraft or you know girls swooning, people fainting in church, or like you know, just a woman that would be kind of weird or like older that no one wanted to fuck anymore, and she was just kind of like

said something weird and then someone's dog died. They'd be like she did it, and then they would just because it gave them an excuse, and it was and it was anti religion. I just love that Jesus turned a snake a stick into a snake, or water into wine. He was a huge witch. Yeah, such a witch, long hair, blasphemous, no, but like a hot witch. The craft, ye, yeah, like

Nev Campbell and the Craft. Do you ever watch that this movie what's the other one with the three girls and not Heathers although I loved that movie back that movie, Oh you would like it. A lot of betrayon and love and kind of cruel intentions. Yeah, it's that kind of feeling a lot of murder Christians. Later, what's the other one where they're all witches? There's three of them?

Maybe there's the Craft and then they oh, man, I love the scene where the popular girl in school who played Jan Brady and or who played um Marcia Brady and the revamp of the Brady Bunch also married to um and Stiller. Yes, what's her name, Christine Taylor? I think she was also in Hey Nude, But anyway, she was the popular girl in high school in the Craft and to get revenge on her, they like, you know, put a hoax on her or whatever, and she all her hair fell out, which is like a popular blonde

girl's nightmare. And she's like, it's my nightmare, but it's like day it's my daydream, just your reality. Know. Also she had blonde hair, right obviously. Then yeah, it's always the cool girl in the high school. They broke up, they almost like they separated, and I think they were real to divorce and then they reconciled another back together.

You know. I like that. People just are I was talking to Girls Gotta Eat Girls yesterday about getting back together with your ex boyfriend, and so many people are so anti get back with your ex and I've never understood not doing that because you already have love there you probably a lot of times I think you break up because you don't you don't have the tools to get through a uh, you know, a fight or a disagreement. And I think, yeah, or like, and you're too young

to understand, like these things are fine. Like I just reposted this as as their parrel um so good story. Did you see Yeah, I don't know why purel Yeah, they're purele pr bathroom And she says seven relationship myths believing it does sound like a got it? Thank you? My people in a relationship don't flirt myths. Honesty is the best policy. Myth. Bad sex should always be a relationship deal breaker. Your significant other should be your friends.

Fighting is always a sign that something is wrong. Myth. Once a cheeter, always a cheeter. To get past cheating, you must forgive and forget or just dump the cheeter. Now did any of those strike you? I know you were focused on saying myth? Did you hear anything of what I was saying? Like, could you either repeat one of those back to me? Besides, once the cheater, always a cheater. Honestly, I was listening no I got I

got best friends shouldn't be best friends. People don't flirt. Um, well I got the first four your best friend I always do. I mean, good for you if your significant other is your best friend. But I think that that shows signs of like, well, you might not be having other you just don't have other friends because you're a significant other is everything to you, which leads me to

believe a little bit of codependency. It's not bad if they're one of your best friends, which Chris is one of my best friends, but is he my best I wouldn't be like he's my one and only. It's like people who say, I bet, people who say that their boyfriends or their girlfriends are the best friends are the same people who say their dad or their mom was their best friend. You need friends, bitch. You need to get actual girlfriends who aren't like, you know, he's my

only friend, like sometimes you have that in relationships. They're my only real friends. Well you know, and sometimes that's the case. I've talked about friendship before. If you can't find friends, it's not it's sometimes it's not you. It really is just circumstantial. And but that doesn't mean you should give up and be like my boyfriends, my only friend, my best friend. Well, I think it's tough when you date someone and they don't want you to have any friends.

That's a whole another thing. What um, But I think some of these bubble in my throat um do like they do. They are things that people really do think that bad sex should always be a relationship deal breaker. And I just to me, I would say that if I didn't have a good, fulfilling sex life with my partner, I would probably well that's you know what you would give it a conversation or two. Yeah, that's what she says.

You could work on it. Yeah, and you can maybe, you know if the person doesn't, because some people are a sexual and they still deserve to be in a relationship, and maybe you just go, okay, well you can have sex with other people or you know, there's a way around it. You don't. It doesn't have to be a deal breaker. I think if someone's bad at sex or is not giving you what you need and then also is stubborn about changing anything, that's a different thing than

you know what I mean, Like I think I don't know. Yeah, I think that you can you just have to be open and honest. I think so many relationships you'd probably just go, well, this person is sucking me bad. It should end. They don't. They're not really into me, you know, without having a conversation. Too scary to have a conversation because you feel like you're gonna hurt their feeling or you'll find out something about yourself that they don't find attractive.

Maybe yeah, or yeah, well yeah, you might find out that they're not into you. It might be a fear, or my fear would be they might I'm so scared of like if so, if I were to be like I don't like when you do this, or I do want you to do this more, they go like, well I want you to. Then you're messing up this like you get defensive and tell you what you're doing wrong, and there wouldn't make me just shut down? What was that? But then are you in a relationship or are you

just like in a hookup. I feel like someone who's in a relationship with you probably wouldn't say that. I've been in relationships where I couldn't communicate like that because of fear that they would just say something back. I was like, well you do this? People that do that in relationship or like any kind of argument, I just can't. I'm open to like, yes I'm not I'm not coming at you because I'm perfect. Let's talk about my ship

at another time. But like the instant defense of like, well you do this is like okay, well you know what. This conversation is over. I can't do it unless it can just be I mean, I'm open to that, but do you see what I'm saying, Like when people just instantly it negates everything you say because no one's perfect. Of course everyone's going to be a little hypocritical, but it doesn't it's hard not to get. It depends how

you come. Like we've talked about this, like defense. You you get defensive if you feel like someone's being too offensive. So then if you come at them and go you know, I would really appreciate it if you might go down on me longer you haven't been in the last few weeks. Yes, I really could use you know, a good head, and that'd be great as opposed to like you never eat my pussy? Right, you see those two things like then

the words never and always. You should probably try to eradicate from conversations that you have I've heard that advice before, of like, because no one always does something or never does something, and those words, man, they already say, well, they set you up for this person is lying, this person's exaggerating. So all of a sudden, if you say, Nikki, aways do something, I go, well, he's full of ship

because I don't always do something. So already I have you as a liar, and like, don't take what you're saying seriously because you're just you're being emotionally, you're exaggerating. So that's good advice. Um, I have a thing where it's like, in the past, I've felt like so often men care, which I'm so glad that men care about my pleasure when I'm having sex, Like there's been a lot of times where it wasn't even a part of

the conversation my pleasure. But then I think sometimes there's always this thing in guy's head where like they need to make you come. They you you have to come, like it has to be even. And sometimes I'm like, I I don't mind not I don't mind just being a come a c D. You know what I'm saying right now, I don't mind. I kind of like it, and I really really don't understand this. Can no, can you help me understand this from a woman's perspective? Why

women suddenly give up on blowjobs? And I know this is like a cliche thing, but it is real. I read about it on Reddit in different forms. Women stopped doing blow jobs after they get married, or eventually they I would rather give a blowjob if I'm not feeling in the mood for sex, which happens about three days before I start bleeding. That was three days no interest in sex, no horny nous, drives a bone those days.

I I would rather if I still want my partner to be pleased during those times, and he's horny, and I want to give him that pleasure because I love him and because I wanted him to feel close to me and all those things, and I don't mind it. I would much rather suck a dick than get a penis in my vagina because I'm turned off down there, like it's like, yes, my CD drive is dusty, and I'd rather just suck a dick. But why do women? Why do women think blow jobs are so hard to do?

I think it's harder to have a penis in your vagina. Then two sucking. I think sucking dick is like very simple. I just feel like I actually go ahead. Sorry, I was gonna say, just very quickly. I don't know because I relate to you. But maybe women think that like they have to give a blowjob from like start to finish instead of like mixing it up with their hand and it's like too much work or like, oh you

need to do hand. Guys want hand. Yeah, I think what it is too is I think guys, once you get a blowjob, you're thinking, now, look, some guys just wanna have an orgasm from a blowjob. But I would feel like, as a woman, if I started blowing the guy, he's going to expect to have sex with me. So like, let's say you want to be closed off down there your CD. Yeah, but it might be scary for you to start blowing him. Think and then next thing, you know, the CD starts to you know, to see the player.

It's like, okay, now it's time to go there, and it's like, no, this is just that I'd be hard pressed to see a guy. You know. Some guys don't like blow jobs either, which is not I would say there's a lot of women who don't like giving blow jobs, and I want to understand. Is it because it takes too long for them to come sometimes? Is it because it hurts your mouth because it's too big or something like that. Like to me, it's just the easiest way to get a guy off that isn't like putting it

in your I think I don't know. I mean as a woman, as I would just rather be used in a hole that does not is not supposed to feel anything, as opposed to putting it in a hole that is supposed to feel something and doesn't. Like I hate when I'm having my vagina stimulated and there's nothing, there's no feeling, like I feel like I'm broken, as opposed to if I just did this with my mouth, which already does

not have any sexual sensations inside it. I would rather just get that job done with my mouth because I'm and then that means like that's almost what I can offer you during that time, more so than any other time. But I think I've had to in the past communicate that like a blow job does not mean I want this in my vagina. And when I say I don't want it, like like it's not like, oh, I'm not ready it's like nothing is going to get me there.

Do you think that people are just inherently selfish and they're like, well, if I'm just blowing you, nothing's happening to me. I'm not gonna have an orgasm. I'd rather just watch this show than blow you, you know what I mean. Like, I gotta say, women, if your husbands aren't getting blown or not getting up the house, they're going to something's getting blown. It's your head. Yeah, but they're gonna get They're gonna go. You can't deprive someone of a of a human need that they have and

not expect them to cheat on you. And I hate to say that, it's like someone could never cheat. I know that's the worst thing ever, But what do you expect them to do? I think what do women expect men to do? They have an insatiable need to come and spread their seed, just jerk off the rest of their lives. But some women don't even like that. But here, I think, honestly, I think you won't him. I think the onus there's kind of being put on the woman. I think a lot of times guys are not vocal

about like I would really love a blowjob. Instead we go let me go, you know, shoot guns instead of asking my wife for a blowjob, like like we're afraid to get rejected. I don't think it's like women. I'm not telling you, like, just do it even if you don't like it. That's not what I'm saying. Don't please, don't misconstrue my words. I'm just saying if you you know, I even say this is my friends who like, are in relationships and they don't get touched by their husband,

And I'm like, well, then he should expect you. He knows that's a basic need of yours. If you've communicated that to him and he still can't do it, then honestly he should not be surprised when you go get touched by someone else. Dude, I've heard of relationships where they they're together, they lived together, no sex for over a year. No, I know that is nothing to what I've heard. Well, you've heard a decade, which is drown them up. That's wild over and we have people listening

right now that are going that is nothing. I don't mean hate on you, just it just doesn't get It gets to the point where it gets so past a date where you can't even bring it up anymore. Anniversary is coming and you're like to do it this weekend? Oh yes, because usually it's sex is stopping because one of the people is not wanting it anymore, or maybe both, but I think it's usually one and the other person just feels what is worse than asking for someone for

something that they don't want to give you? Oh God? And it's not like women like us. This is usually the woman thing, like the women being lessoned to it because our libidos are more, you know, at the behest of our fucking raging, weird hormones. And so I'm not saying like, just suck it up, literally and just do it, But like, how many things do you do in a relationship that you don't want to do because it's the

nice thing to do. Why why do we think of touching someone or kissing someone or giving a blowjob is like, oh, that's you should never have to do that. I would think that, I would think guys don't want to take out the trash, but they do it. But I think or kill a spider for you, but on your down that go down on women without expecting with their CD being off is way lower than like girls just blowing guys like and not expecting anything then have a bigger

sex drive and more need than women. Okay, I see, so so you think. Okay, so yeah, men, all right, That's what I That's what I hate is that every time I give something, I'm always with the generous lovers that demand that I get something back. They wanted to be a fair trade and they also like getting me off. It's part of that for them. But sometimes I do not want to come. It's not in my Sometimes I can push through, but there are a lot of times I do not want it, and I just want to

be able to just give a blowjob. And that's been hard to communicate at times in my life because it's it also makes it seem like I'm not attracted to you. I just want to be this life. That's just like giving a blowjob just because you deserve it. But it's like, no, I like giving It's like giving a foot rub to someone. I like giving pleasure, even if I'm not getting any in return, that actually gives me pleasure. It's called compulsion. To give someone pleasure you get it gives you pleasure.

So there you have it. Okay, let's take a quick break and come back with more. Andrew coming now with a kick cap. Remember that. Okay, we're back. Um, how's your day been so far? My day late in the day. I wake up early in the morning. You know, Brenda has the morning with a bottle of jack and uh, she had work in the morning. So I was telling, you know how I make her coffee. And it's like I pack her a little school one cute. I pat

her on the head and what do you make? I cut up peppers for her, and I cut up like different things. I'll make her peppers. I let her smell a pepper and then I'd say, you could go out the window. Do you know that you can eat a pepper like an apple? What with the seeds? The seeds are I mean they're in the middle so you can bite into it, so you can eat them like a like an apple. You get some stairs kind of hard to cut, you know, there's always one slice that's kind

of hard with how I love pepper so much? Oh you ever put it? I'm sure you don't. Maybe you did this. Put the vegan cream cheese in it with a little everything bagels. So good. It's a great meal. Um. Anyways, Yeah, so I've been a meal, but snack. Where's the protein in that? It's some way. So then I went and I hit golf balls. I got this place called Tower Tea, and they have like the most amazing set up there ever, like insane, Like they have all these different man's that

keep track of like how far you're hitting it? And I just hit balls and it's my meditative. Where is that? Stop calling it meditative? I just can't meditative? What is the word? Am I wrong? No? It's not wrong. I'm just like the guys convincing themselves sports is I know it is. It's not that it's meditative. It's just like it's a thing. It's a leisure activity you like to do that makes you feel good. But it's a quarter meditative, okay.

It puts you in a certain mindset where you're just honed, where you're doing something over and over again, you're very Just what do you think about during it? Do you think of golf? Or does your mind wonder everywhere? Literally I think and nothing other than the shot. That's why it's meditative to me. Oh yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Sometimes thoughts will create Why did you? Why did you go to this new place? And why have you never

been there before? If it's amazing, I didn't know about it and someone told you know, sometimes you just don't know about the word amount the treasure right in your backyard? Where is it? Uh? How far of a drive? Off? Minutes? So bad? But um, yeah, no, I don't know. That's pretty much what I do. That's pretty much my life is. I just do that. I caught up some peppers and I hit some golf. I had sex last night and

I had heartburn. And it's so funny, like as when you get older, instead of taking um bag or you take a sand attack the only way do you ever take anymore? Yeah? Yeah, I took one the night before and I had to bad heartburn and even fucking and Brenna called me out on taking a cat in the trash can. Then you got it right now. I'm like, I'm gonna tell Brenna to start digging in the trash because he's gonna start hiding it now. Oh yeah, I'm gonna eat the whole rapper like a pepper, the seed.

I saw your family the other day that yeah so wild. I just saw them today that it was so fun I bring to bring every single time isn't he so cute? He's the third kid. He's like he's born in November. He's he's a big, big, big baby. But he's so like his eyelashes are so long, and he's so happy. He's just like he's just a little rumpus. I love him. And then uh, Poppy and Arlow are it's I've got. They've gotten in this trend of like they know that

I always bring them presents because you still keep so cheap. Yeah, I keep them all in my um in my trunk in my car, and then I have up drawer here so every time I'm anywhere, I just buy toys so that I always have something to bring them because I may be associated with. But then every time I come over, they nickie and they like ug me. And then Arlow starts just looking at my bags and like looking on the porch because I might leave something out there, like

they know him. And then they open the present. They they make it start working. Then they start crying because it's not working the way they wanted to. It's just exactly how I used to do it. And then they want incanto put back on, and then they don't even think goodbye to me. When I go, I love you and I'm like kissing them no goodbyes, so I don't think I'm training them, right. They look at you like the guys like a valet parks your car like at a hotel and wants a tip, and you're just like,

I just don't. It's like that awkward like and really like I don't care if you die in your car. I just want money. They just just I want them to associate me with presents because it's it's fun to get a presence and presence kids toys. I mean, you go to Target. I just I went to teach Max today. Before I went over there like this amazing squirk gun. I'm like, how can I pass it up? Like seven bucks for a barbie? I mean, kids don't care. I think I think the only problem you're going to run

into is that. And I don't know why people do this. It's like they save it for birthdays, for Christmas or for leg After you do well in the honor roll, it's always like it has to be like you did something for this, as opposed to here's just a gift. No. People are because I love you and because I want to win by your love I'm not around enough to really get in there, and I don't like to play enough. So here's a toy. I went there dopamine to shoot up when they see me, and then every time they

see me. Eventually Pavlov's dogs. Those kids are gonna be drooling. That's what I want. I But Bobby is so cute and she really reminded me of me today because I gave her this barbie and it was her first barbie, um, and it was a Mermaid. And I told my sister, you know, all barbies like give your daughter body dysmorphia, but at least this one is actually an unachievable thing for her, Like it's really more achievable than most barbies

with legs, you know. So she she puts on the Mermaid fin, like the end of the fin because it needed to be like clipped on, and then all of a sudden, she's just like screaming because she wants it off. She wants it off, and it's just not right the way she wanted it came out of the package without the fin, and so she wanted it that way. And she's scraped, like crying, and I'm like, this toy has brought tear are into this child's life, and it reminded

me of this barbie I got for Easter. And it was the one time I remember my parents really was the first time I remember them looking at each other like our daughter is special. Because the arial's hair was like crimped in this one part, like that her bangs were like a little too long and weird and just like it got bent in the packaging something because the hair is plastic. And I could not handle that. It

wasn't perfect, Like I couldn't fucking handle it. And I took off my seatbelt and was just throwing myself around the van screaming. We were on the weights. It was for Easter. I got it, and we're on our way somewhere, and I was just and I just remember them being like pulling to the side of the road and like having a real like oh my god, and being like this isn't working. Whatever I'm doing is not working. They're not like giving me what I need. Whatever was doing,

it didn't I don't know what I needed. Was there a perfect toy for you when you were a kid that just killed it, like a slinky or like something. Everything I always had was uh stained, I was trying to think of the band that the song. I was just mad that Ken's penis was so big, wasn't no, No, it was the jealous No. I realized that I just everything wasn't perfect. From the very start of my life. Things just my sister always got things that were nicer,

like her dolls just looked nicer. If we got the

same food, she had more on her plate. Like I always found a way where everything I got either had a smudge on it or And it's like the way my life still is like it's and I have to say, reading the book A Mother's Reckoning by Sue Clebold, I am very dyllan cleband like the kid the Quiet Killer, the one that was like he was a perfectionist as a child, and she said that he threw tantrums because like he would get embarrassed very easily, and if anything

wasn't right, he would like scream and like couldn't handle it. And it was like he just had a perfectionism that led him to have severe suicidal depression that she didn't know about. And I'm like, I have never thought I would relate to one of the Columbine Killers. Maybe that's maybe why my fascination with it, not that I would ever do that. I've never been homicidal. I've never been

I've been suicidal, not you know, and just ideations. But there's something about that, that perfectionism of like I and then when you scream about it and when you yell about it, and when you are like when I'm asking, like my parents, like my Barbie, like fix it, Like it wasn't them, there's nothing they could do about it. I just wanted them to acknowledge, like, your your bad, that's why you get these things. You're fucking not You're

not as good as other people, You're not enough. Instead of being like, just be happy with what you are, I just wanted them to be like, yeah, you are gross. Like I wanted some acknowledgement of it, and then I think I could have been free of it. But of

course I do don't want that. I don't know what it was, but um, when kids have perfectionism like this, because in this book she kind of gets into what that means, like when kids are when they lose a board game and they fucking flipped the thing and they freak out and they they they're sore losers. They over time there's nothing. There's nothing that will soothe you. So you just learned to just keep it all inside because it gets annoying to people that you're never perfect enough

because no one knows what to say to you. There is nothing to say, so then you internalize it and internalize anger turns it is depression. I feel like I was almost the opposite of a as a kid, with like if I got hand me downs or whatever, Like I was too afraid to say I deserve that. I've never like been able to say that, and like I'm almost jealous of people that are like, no, I deserve

to have this thing, you know what I mean? So as a kid, I never I got like hand me down lacrosse sticks and like hand me down cleats, and like my dad was a doctor. It's not like you, and I still wouldn't open my mouth or be able to I don't know what the hell was happening in my childhood that kept me from being like, don't speak up. Do you get new toys? I guess I guess we got some new toys. I remember getting, Like you know what kids love is those those automatic trucks, those remote

control trucks ran cars. I love those as a kid jumping those off ramps, but usually I got a skateboard. I remember I was really excited, like, but yeah, presents were I don't know. Today do not like buying really nice clothing because I'll find some way that I picked the wrong one out of the five size mediums. I'll pick the one that is as a stain on it somewhere or has a stitch out, like sometimes I go through them all to find which one is the most perfect.

And I know that no matter what I choose in the store, I will get at home and realize it is not right, that it doesn't look like that, like something will be off about it. So that's why I went to t J Max today and was like, I'm free to shop here because everything is looked up like everything there is made in factories children, so the stitching is all off. Maybe you start a brand where it's

already come stained, like like that's the whole brain. Well there's this new luggage brand that because I'm really scared to get really nice luggage because I'm scared to get dented and I'll have that fucking fit again. Meanwhile, you had the one bag because I guess at that point, there's no expectation. There was like duct taped and there's

no idea. It's disgusting. It can get so But there's this new brand of um luggage that's you know, like hardcase luggage and it comes pre dented, almost like a dirty pair of jeans, like with like that already, so that it already that's that's the style of it, And so you're only going to be contributing to the style of it, which I think is very cool and I want to get it. I love it, so there that should be the thing I get. I have staying with holes in them, you know, like already like ready to

ruin your life. Oh you know what that reminds me? Um, if there's the best listening. We had two besties. You remember those two girls that came to a show one time and they were like freaking out. Um maybe yet know two girls that were backstage and one of them her dad was a doctor in Chicago. They made cue cards for like, they made like an outline, didn't they. Yeah,

they did the whole thing for us. And it's somewhere in a bag somewhere, And if you're listening or her friend is listening, you offered me some services from your dad in Chicago, and just out of the kindness of your heart because you were my friend, if you can contact me, I would really appreciate it. Is this, This isn't bad, Noah, is it okay? Yeah? It was just

it wasn't because of our show. It wasn't. It was because she was as like a best friend of mind that I can't remember her name, but she said that her dad would offer me something that I was looking into in Chicago, And if you are out there, will you please DM me because I forgot your name and I really want to take you up on that offer. UM, and then I'll tell you all about it after it happens. UM. I can't remember her name. I can't either, but I o her dad comes through on that thing. I think

he will. I'll take a train of Chicago. Got another guy, No, there's this other Um, there's a UM. It's a separate thing. But I started following this plastic surgeon. UM. What's his name. I'll give him a shout out because he's been like wanting to be on the show. And I was like, we don't have guests or except like unless you were my best friend in high school. There ain't no chance you're coming on this ship. Do you steal anything? Have you robbed a train before in New Orleans? Um? Uh?

And then this other guy hit me up about him he bought Oh Dr Ryan Ninstein, Dr Ninstein? Any I n like nine as in German Dr Ninstein? He um. I saw a girl like one of these tick influencers posted about like her body. She's like had this fucking perfect ass and perfect like Torso and she like body by like the gym, and and she was like an also liposuction and fat removal and be up um like

by doctor nine side. And I was like, I love this girl's being honest about what's going on here, because she's a very skinny girl that could get away with being like I just work out and I eat right. And do you think he gave her percentage off? Do you think she was leaning into it? You know what I mean? Maybe maybe he gave her some kind of deal, but it doesn't matter. Like at least she was honest.

I don't mind anyone getting I'm just saying, if you're getting dollars worth of like, i'd be honest too of you games well, I wouldn't say the doctor's name. But I would be so honest about it. If I got something done, I got a facelift, I would say I got a facelift, but if I paid for you know, so, I'm not trying to throw dents in your luggage. It's

already dented. Um and uh he wrote to me because I posted it, and I started following him because he does like amazing work where you're just like, oh my god, he's before and afters and um. Yeah. And then a friend of his that I'm friends with like texted me today and was like, he he would love to give you complimentary services. I mean, not LiPo suction or anything like that. But I just I don't want to do LiPo suction. And we talked about this before because of

the how rough they are. When I see them do it, They're going and it's turkey jerky and they stretch your skin. It's just like Jesus Christ, I don't want to go under. I don't know how that helps. I don't know how I want How did they learn that? You know? If I just beat the ship out of this with a

metal rod, it's wild. Well, you you know, to become a doctor and to do surgery, you have to have some sort of like you know people, we talked about this before, but you know, empathy is such like everyone needs empathy and we love people with empathy. People need more empathy. We're not gonna have many doctors if you have too much empathy because to carve open a human person and to deal every day with people dying, if

you had too much empathy, you would be destroyed. So we need people that don't have empathy to be able to do those things, to even deal with you know, animal rescue, like the things those people. I could never do that stuff. I mean my dad was a cancer doctor like that was so he probably lacked a bah. Well, I complain he goes a cancer and I'd be like sorry, I mean that's kind of a joke, but kind of not like like you know, things were put in perspective.

He saw someone die an hour ago, and his son's complaining about an old lacrosse stick. It's like, you know, I think I think there was ways where I think he was probably shut off because of what he had. Stage is your lacrosse stick four? That's why I need a new one, dad, And he's like, well, just we'll just give it some chema and we'll get you back out there. My dad had breast cancer. That was why. Yeah, I mean when he got it, was he like, well,

well he's got them big fat titties. But he did he have Do you think do you feel like he had like a less like grave? Uh? You know, no more. I think I think more the truth of it. Well, here's the thing. He felt it himself. He self diagnosed himself. That's kind of wild. That's how he found it. He actually found it in the showers. So maybe huh yeah, maybe he was trying to puff up or like tweak

his puff. Well, he just started lifting again. He started working out because feeling his own facts, he's feeling himself stop it. Oh my god, that just scared me. Andrew acted like he felt a lump inside his chest. That really didn't scare me, So so he right away new time means everything with this ship. So he went. He had a missectomy within like days of feeling his and it didn't get to the limbs. Do you ever want to get one just to get rid of those puffs? Uh?

Do you have the gene that? Oh? I mean we didn't. Maybe we'll find out. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure I have. I mean, I don't have great genes. When he comes to cancer. I mean it's in my family, in the butt and the tits. I'll probably get in the cock or something. I will look like ken. So my dad, though, he dealt with it in the best way ever, because he got his boob removed and we're all like stressed out and stuff. He was like, oh, son, well he didn't go oh my baby boy, oh dear son. He

was like, it helped my golf. He goes, I wish I got the other one removed, so then my golf swing would be better. Oh yeah, because small titted women do better in golf. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and big tit men don't do well. Any tiny tiny men do well in f one and a jockeying, and they do well in golf too. And so he was talking about how you'd make the senior Tour, and it was just a way to look at it like this pretty you know, tough thing to go through. There's always a right side, yeah,

I think. I mean, I don't know about like with genocide and stuff, but I feel like even the other day, we were like checking into the wrong hotel and we had to wait, and it had been the longest travel day and it was like, I was so annoyed and like apologetic to Chris because I'm like, I pulled him along on this. It's just been the fucking biggest ways of our time all day long. And he was like, and then we end up having to be at the

other hotel. I'm like, I cannot. But we wake up in the morning, I'm like, I can't believe last night all of that was for nothing. We could have just gone to the w and been an amazing odel room and slept and he goes, but we wouldn't have run into Rachel Einstein. That was really special for you and me. And I was like, it wasn't cancer cancer. I mean, and then someday it will be. And then you go, well, at least it's not. I mean yeah, because I mean

eventually it gets you. I think that if you live long enough, like humans, we can I've heard that our brain like they could probably like we're going to keep living longer and longer. But the problem is you'll eventually the odds are you'll get cancer or your brain We'll just like you can't that they can't keep our brains as youthful, so your body, but like eventually around a hundred, your brain searched just and everything, like you could look. Yeah,

people be looking younger than ever right now. It's crazy. It's so wild. Okay, we gotta take a break and we'll come back with Reddit Dumb. We're back. Let's get to the news and just skip right to why do I Care? Why do I care? Okay, Well, I had to include the story in the news because, um, we got a lot of besties chiming in wanting to hear

your opinion. All right, The celebrity with the worst private jets CEO two emissions I know is actually Taylor Swift of words by the marketing agency The Yard said that Taylor's jet flew a hundred and seventy times in the first two hundred days of the year. This is more emissions in just seven months than und average people would put out in the in a year. And there's been an update as of this morning. She said that it's mostly not her and it's been loaned out. That's from

her rep to BuzzFeed. But today, no, she has not been on tour. No, you think I'd be here if she was on tour. And um. Pictures have surfaced from July five, before the report came out of Taylor Swift coming out of her private jet hiding herself under a huge umbrella. Okay, so she has used it. Yes, here's the private jets. They are. Private jets are terrible for the environment, they are, yes, But my thing is every

American I'm not gonna say every American of people. If you were Taylor Swift and could afford a private jet, you would do it too. I mean every It's so easy to put your finger and go like, how could she? You have never been on a private jet. You don't know what it's like to be a celebrity where and neither do I where everything you everywhere you go is just hell and like everyone's bothering you and if you aren't nice to them, you have to your label to

fucking cunt um. I listen, she is what I think she should do. Because I saw this and I was like, this isn't gonna be good, but it's gonna be good for me because I might see Taylors on to the airport because she is definitely going to correct this. I really do not not south glad that I might see her on like a Delta or United or even an American in the middle eating peanuts like I'm just like you guys, don't touch me. Yeah, no, she's not going to be a group. C Wait, if you saw her

on your flight, what would you do? Would you go up to her? It's a great question. I would just I would do what I instruct everyone to do with the celebrity. I would just say I love you, and then I would just walk on and I'd say thank you, I love you and thank you for everything, and then go on my way, because you know what, any part of me going up to her and giving my energy of like I love you so much, like I can't

like it's going to take something from her now. This is listen to besties that meet me when I do a meet and read, I'm asking for that, Like that is me putting myself there for you to bring that energy to me. But in public and I and listen, I'm not as famous as Taylor stuff, so I just and I don't have as much work to do as she does in terms of like writing songs and stuff to me me. I know she would be so sweet and go like oh thank you and like oh my god,

that's so nice. That energy she has to give me is sucking her creative force out and is going to lead her to be able to maybe work less that day. Put less energy into songwriting, put less energy into her friends and her cats and the things that she loves, like she doesn't need to have to like scaffold my fucking falling. Like but this is exactly why she would put she'd rather instead of dealing with that, put CEO

two into Yes, that's exactly why. I mean, she's doing it because she doesn't want to deal with meeting people because it's constant and if you don't be nice to people, they will write about you and word will spread that you're bitch. And like Taylor does not want to be a bitch. It's weird too to be Like, if she is renting it out, I mean, then you're gonna get mad at every airline because an airplane forty million dollars or whatever it is, like you need to you get

a return on your investment. It's like an airbnb, you're getting money, Like what are you doing? Like it's not like she's flying hundreds so many times, Like I'm actually getting my pilot license, like she doesn't. Oh my god, could imagine if most of her trips. By the way, we're to St. Louis wife her flights, and the thoughts are that her mom has relatives here. Ohs to Missouri. I don't know if they said St. Louis specifically, but to Missouri Taylor's plane is land and all the ding

name time. But I mean, I really, I there's I know I'm a Taylor swypt apologist through and through, but there's a part of me that feels really bad for her because you know, this all came up of like how terrible it is for the world a couple of months ago when Kylie or like a month ago and Kylie Jenner got busted. That's why they even lead them to do these reports to see what celebrities are burning

the most fuel. And it's so bad. And that's I saw al Gore in a Southwest is the big person that everyone's But this is again the like, well then but you did this, you know, like this is again the classic like gates everything she's done for the LGBTQ community and negates everything she's done for like women's rights. Oh well, it negates everything she's done. Maybe even about like you know, um, supporting Democrats in her state. Oh oh you really care about the environment. Look what you did.

It's like both can be true. This is the Amber heard Johnny Depp thing like it doesn't have to be like just because she's a little hypocritical in this way, in a way that she probably didn't really understand the impact of and once she does, because she is a smart, compassionate person, she will correct it. And that's why I'm excited to see her in line at um, you know, to get some carrots and hummus at the Alta Lounge.

Yeah they I mean, look, if she was flying to fucking too Loom every weekend, I'd be like she should fucking you should spit on her. Yeah. We need an

underground railroad for celebrities now. Yeah, but even that, um there there, I mean, who knows you're gonna that's the poll quote that someone says where they're like Nicky Glazer makes uh slavery uh joke about like, oh, mocks abolitionist the abolitionist movement by making joke about Taylor Swift and how celebrities need to do the same thing slaves did to free themselves, and then I would be like, you don't even know when Nicki Glazer does for Taylor Swift

and you don't even know how fucking dumb she is and doesn't really understand what the underground railroad is. Yeah, I mean you think it's literally like wanting to do. Oh, Carmen Lynch was wanting to do a joke about that. Remember when we were backstage and she was like, I really did think I'm trying to do Carmen Lynch that the underground railroad was the underground was an actual railroad. Yeah. Yeah, until now, all right, let's get to Reddit karaoke mode.

This is your redit. Dum he I love the okay um. I liked this. This was kind of like a thing going around on redditt the past. Cople days is the first time I saw it. It said it was from ask new NYC subreddit where they just asked questions about New York and said I'm looking for a poor quality yet expensive restaurant to suggest to an enemy any suggestions. So is the one that like probably thinks that this person doesn't hate them ask them for a restaurant suggestion,

and so people go, um. Someone said, haven't heard the best reviews of Cipriani downtown. Someone said Nello on Upper East Side. It's unimpressive bistro food catering to wealth, very wealthy people who all know each other and your enemies. Bill will be astronomical. The New York Times negative critique of it is the funniest restaurant review I've ever read. Um, let's just take a look at this review and see

why it's so funny. I mean literally in New York that you could send them to Olive Garden in Midtown and it's so expensive. Oh that's a good one. But then they but they wouldn't go there, you know what I mean? Um? Okay, I found this was really good. The review was on a pay wall, so I couldn't bring it up. Okay. This is from the subreddit Too Afraid to Ask? How do obese people have sex? How do people who weigh around or over four fifty pounds or two have sex? Kilo's Um, can they have sex

in the traditional sense? I mean, no disrespect with this question, Just curious. That reminds me of f boys. They was like, like, no disrespect with all respects, Like I just think that you're a snake. Okay, Um, and I found this answer really interesting and perfectly visual. A friend of mine who's an O B G y N, had a pregnant patient who was quite large and also quite forthcoming with details about her sex life. Per the patient, she would lie

on her back. She and her partner would lift her excess skin using a broomstick held horizontally across her abdomen. Then she would hold onto the broomstick and pull up while he went to town. I thought that was very innovative and I liked it a lot um. But what if he was as overweight? I think he just couldn't get on his knees and eat, you know, like I was picturing. Yeah, maybe two brooms. Someone said, have you

ever watched someone put eye contacts in? They kind of awkwardly hold open one island with one finger and the other with a different finger, then try to shove the lens in with another, hoping they don't drop the lens or let go of an eyelet or poke themselves in the eyeball. It's like that but with your naughty bits. I thought that was interesting. Okay, um, this was from Cool Guides. That's it's like a visual guides for like

cool things. Cool guides g U I D E. S. And this was about rescuing a dog, and this is really important. So if you are someone you know is about to rescue a dog. There's a rule in the UM rescue trade called the three three three rule. So three days. It takes three days for your rescue dog, usually who's traumatized by past, by being in a shelter, or by their past trauma three days. Give your dog three days before you take them back, because they need

to decompress. They're feeling overwhelmed, they may feel scared, unsure of what's going on. They're not comfortable enough to be their self. They may not want to eat or drink, and they shut down or hide or under furniture. Okay, within three weeks, give your dog three weeks to learn your routine. Allow than three weeks to start settling in, feel more comfortable, realize this could be home forever, figure out their environment, get into a routine, let their guard down.

UM and they said behavior issues may start to appear. Three months is when the dogs to start to feel at home, finally feels comfortably comfortable in his home, begins to build trust in a true bond, gains a complete sense of security with his new family and sets into a routine three three three do not return your rescue dog if you really want to see it through. Because when I got Luigi, I really did think. The first day, I was like, I'm being kind, I'm being soft, I'm

being gentle. Why won't this dog fucking like me? I cried. I was like, I'm bad at this, I'm never I was already looking into finding him a new foster home because I just didn't want him to be miserable. I thought, if something is wrong with me, it wasn't. I just needed to wait, and he just needed so the three three three rule. Um. I love that dogs don't give

it up right away. I really do. Like, I mean not be that they're tortured and they but I like that you have to earn it a little bit, like I don't know, it just makes the bond that much better. Um um, this is from ask women. Yeah, I think you're right to like you have to earn it. Yeah. The same with cats. I mean cats, sometimes you never give it up. When when we got him, he was so he he was already adopted. The dog that they adopted was trying to kill him, so he was like

afraid of everything. He went under behind the fridge for like four days, like I don't know, so eventually he came out and now he's like hates me in different ways. But okay, um, this one is from ask Women. It says, what is the thing you saw other women doing that you thought was so stupid and now you do it and it makes perfect sense. Someone said, I didn't think it was stupid, but seeing women be really rude or

mean to men seemed unnecessary. But now I realized you kind of have to shut their advances down fast or else they just keep trying. Interesting. I will say that I used to see women on TV shows just hearsay like demand things from their boyfriends or nag or like even seeing my mom be like, e J, you need to take the trash like that kind of tone, or like I don't like get off me, or I don't like when you do this. Oh you're watching this again,

like being bitches or nags. And I never understood how you could do that because then they'll just leave you. It isn't the point is now that you would do it? You know? Now I realized that that yes, they went too far with it. But having boundaries and being like I don't like when you do this. I feel like you haven't been doing a lot of this around the house or like that stuff. I would have my first relationship with Chris, like I look at ourselves as having

at least four relationships. My first two years with him, never complained about anything, never once ever. If he hurt my feelings, if he you know, I felt abandoned by him, if he said something rude that he didn't like, I would never say anything because I was so scared he would leave me be and so and then the first time I did have a complaint, he did leave me.

So it's like then it validated everything. But his my complaint was a boundary that I had that was important to me that I didn't know he couldn't give me. And so he respected himself by saying like, well, I can't give you that, and if you need to be with someone that wants that, I thought he was just gonna cave and give it to me, which was like saying I love you, and he was like, I don't

say that, and I don't. I waited, and then it was like I need I need you to say I love you because I thought that's all you do is like someone's got to say it first. I was like, he's not gonna say it first, Okay, fine, I'll say it first. And then he didn't say it back, and he was like, I just don't not going to I don't feel it, so I'm not going to say it.

And I was like, well, I need to be with someone who says it, and I thought that would get him to do it, and he still was like, well, then you need to be with someone else, and I was like, oh fuck. And then we had to break up. And so then when we got back together, I was even more stringent about not asking for anything because I was scared that, you know, he wouldn't. He was going to be his own person and stick by what he you know, like you started know he said, that's what

he said. He was I'm enthusiastic about being with you final thought. But now he says, I love you all the freaking time almost. Yeah, it's awesome. He says it constantly. Now. Uh that that's what leads me to believe that someone like, do not get back together with your ex boyfriend if they haven't changed, or if you haven't changed, like that is a good like if you broke up for a

reason like stay apart. But if you've taken time apart and you feel like you're different people, absolutely get back together. You have a good foundation obviously of something and yeah, it's the best. I recommend it. Okay, this is something other the thing. Let's get back to the top. What is the thing you saw other women doing that you thought was stupid and now you do it and it

totally makes sense. Moisturizing using sunscreen. I realized when I was twenty eight, I don't want to look like an old leather handbag by the time I'm thirty five, and I want men to buy me old leather handbags. So I'm going to keep moisturizing, asserting dominance against males. I need to know, Oh, I need to do it now because I'm an engineer and I worked with old conservative men in their fifties. Okay, Um, opening their mouths when

putting on mascara or eyelander, that ship helps and works. Um. A lot of parenting things, says one woman, most notably kids on a Leashuh. Someone said, taking your bra off to go to bed no joke, Like I thought, why would I? Why would I? Let these things flop all over themselves in my sleep. And now I understand that bras are terribly uncomfortable, and I'm genuinely confused by how

tolerating wearing one. I tolerated wearing. I used to do that too, used to wear brawl every single night to bed because I wanted to keep those puppies in place. But then they kind of atrophy because they don't they don't have any they don't have to build muscle to support themselves, and then they get even more sloppy. Um okay, uh. This is a really cute thing from made me cry. If you ever in the mood to just read really touching things that won't make you sad, they'll just make

you feel like made me cry, It says. I told my five year old that I had tried to be an opera singer but couldn't cope with the stage fright. Today, my husband sent me this, and it's a it's just like the child's drawing of a stage and two people on the stage, and then little dots, little circles for

all the audience members and the two stick figures. He says, by the way, the husband wrote with us, By the way, I don't know if you saw this picture she did of you in her You're on stage together in front of an audience, and the stuff coming out of your mouth is opera and it's just like a bunch of stuff coming out. It's the cutest child's drawing. Um. And then this is from sex subreddit. I bought my husband a sex toy and now I'm jealous of it. My husband and I have a great sex life and we

are very open. I am bisexual and he is straight. He loves buying sex toys for me and using them on me. There's really never a time we don't have intercourse where he does not use a vibrator on me. As well. We have bought in penis pumps in the past, which we both would really enjoy because they would kind of get him ready for action. And Andrew, you know about penis pumps. But for a few weeks he has been hinting about wanting to buy this vibrating sleeve. It's

not that I didn't want him to buy it. I just didn't have didn't get around to it. Yesterday we finally did, and he was excited about it all day. I was too, so later on after the kids were asleep. We started fooling around and I asked him if he would like to try it out. When it came time to use it. His reaction to do it was so obviously better than anything I've ever done for him. His thrusting into it and the moaning it did not turn me on to see it. It actually kind of made

me feel sick. I pretended to come so he would too, and then quickly told him I was tired. I hardly slept though. All I kept thinking about was his reaction to this vibrating silicon toy and the horrible effect it's having on me. I want to move past this. I have never felt this way before from sex. She had an update. I spoke with my husband about it, and he totally understood where I was coming from past relationships. He has felt a little intimidated by toys, and he

doesn't want me to feel that way. He offered to throw it out, but I told him, no fucking way. We're trying it out again tonight. Also, thanks so much to everyone who advised me to speak with him and gave me some icebreakers on how to appurchase subject. This is why it's so nice. And then they have a link to the toy. So many of our listeners are like, what is the It's from targets. It was a great marketing. It's called the Cake Vibrating Stroker Rechargeable Massaging Toy by

al and I. I am getting this. This is amazing. Okay it looks like embryo. Yeah, it looks like a goldfish cracker. Umget. I love that we're that far in things where it's like it's on Aisle four. Yeah, it's rained the next to the fucking fake mouth that you fuck. I can't believe they sell these a Target. They have a lot of good stuff. It's by Cake, they brand Cake. I mean I lost my mind when CVS had dick

vibrating like holders for your cock. Yeah yeah, I just never I just didn't know that they were in there. I never was looking. I guess I wasn't having that. Also, just wrap your CBS for seat around your dick and it will it will get so with all the winding up of it that it'll be a good stroker. You haven't been a queen in a while, Oh yeah, Princess or miss CVS is just drape it across myself like I a pageant Queen's fun. It's one little thing to do at CBS. If you ever get a paper Taylor

Swift of machines, Yes, Nikki Glazer waste so much paper. Yes, but I didn't buy it all. It wasn't for me. I was loaning out my shopping. It's just so funny. Taylor never does anything wrong, and so I know she's spiraling about this. My thoughts are with the figure it out you guys love so many more episodes and speaking exactly too dropping off food Africa. She'll find a way out, she always do. Um. We have two more episodes this week. I'll be in Los Angeles tomorrow for the next two,

but we will be here for you. I hope you listen. Thank you so much for listening. We love you. Busties, Topka and Sheen in those sunglasses alok, they're actually prices are going down.